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coax the cold right out of me

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Loki breathed a sigh as he closed the door behind him with a quiet snick. The lights were off, and the hallway was pitch-black, but he could navigate to his room even in the darkness. He was well used to it by now. 

Before he could take another step, though, a bright light flooded the room, and Loki flinched as he saw Thor, arms crossed, standing at the entrance to the hall, blocking him from his bedroom. 

“So you have been sneaking out,” Thor said, gruff. It was 3 AM, and he looked like he hadn’t slept at all.

His displeasure made Loki feel weak, which in turn made him bristle with indignation. Fuck Thor, standing there all self-righteous in his boxers and flimsy tank.

“Fuck off,” Loki said, and attempted to brush past him.

“Not so fast,” Thor said, and grabbed Loki’s wrist.

Loki gasped before he could stop himself, and bit his lip as Thor raised an eyebrow and brought Loki’s wrist to the light.

“Don’t touch me,” Loki said, but Thor was already pulling back the sleeve of Loki’s sweatshirt, revealing the bright red marks on his wrist. 

“What are these,” Thor said, voice low and dangerous. It was not a question, but a demand.

“None of your business,” Loki said, pulling his arm away forcefully. To his surprise, Thor let go, and he stumbled backwards and hit the wall. 

“None of my business what my little brother gets up to while he’s living under my roof,” Thor said. 

"Not when all I'll ever be is your little brother,” Loki said, voice rising. 

“So I can’t care about you if we’re not fucking, is that it?” Thor asked. 

Loki swallowed, and found that he was shaking. With rage, or fear, or some other emotion he couldn’t pinpoint. Thor hulked over him, gaze steady. Judging him. Weighing him. It made Loki want to crawl out of his skin.

“I can leave,” Loki said, surprised by how his voice didn’t shake. “If that’s what you want. I’ll be out of your hair—you can kick me out just like dad—”

That made Thor flinch, and satisfaction curled up warmly in Loki's belly. 

“That’s not what I want at all,” Thor said, “and you know it. Is this you trying to get back at me? This self-destructive, immature behavior—”

Fuck you,” Loki laughed, bitter. His heart was racing, and he braced himself against the wall as words left his mouth before his brain could process them. “What right do you have, rejecting me and then acting like a jealous beast when I choose to fuck other men?”

“What did they do to you?” Thor grit out. “What did you do to yourself ?”

Loki could hear the blood rushing in his ears, his heart pounding so loud it was a wonder Thor couldn’t hear it. 

He took a deep breath and looked away, a smile breaking out on his face like a bloody gash. If Thor wanted to know, Loki would tell him. “The man I was with tonight, he likes to tie me up and beat me. Sometimes, he shares me with his friends.” He hoped Thor was horrified.

When he looked up, however, Thor didn’t look horrified. He didn’t even look like he pitied Loki, which would have at least given Loki more reason to be angry at him. No, instead he looked—enraged. He glowered, his breathing gone shallow, making his massive chest rise and fall. 

Loki tried to step backwards but he was already up against the wall, his hands flat against it. 

“Anyway,” Loki said, moving quickly, “it’s none of your business who I fuck. You made it abundantly clear that you want nothing to do with me.” He made to stride confidently to his bedroom, but Thor caught him, and Loki suddenly found himself pushed face-first into the wall, his arms crossed behind his back, held at the wrist by Thor’s one hand.

“What the fuck,” Loki yelled, squirming. He struggled with all his strength, to no avail. Thor put his other hand on his shoulder and shoved him, hard. Loki was crushed against the wall, panting.

“What are you doing, you brute,” Loki grit out. “I hate you. Fuck you. I hate you so much, you fucking—”

Thor’s hand fell upon Loki’s ass like a bolt of lightning.

A wail pealed from Loki’s mouth, unbidden. His ass was still sore from earlier, and just one smack from Thor had it throbbing. 

"Like this? Is this what they do to you?"

"It's what I let them do," Loki said, savagely. "They use other things too, crops, whips—"

Another earth-shattering smack. Loki’s forehead hit the wall with a thump, and he bit his lip hard.

“Say you’re sorry,” Thor said, hot and heavy against his neck. “Say you’re sorry and you’re not going to be whoring yourself out like that anymore.”

“F-fuck you,” Loki snarled. “Fuck you, you self-righteous prick—”

 Thor smacked him again, and again, and again.

“Still won’t say it?” Thor growled. 

“Fuck. You,” Loki hissed, blinking away tears. “You’re fucking crazy. I hate you, fuck you, Thor—”

Thor reached around and put his hands over the button and zip of Loki’s jeans. Loki stiffened, realizing suddenly how hard he was, despite his session earlier. 

“Tell me to stop,” Thor said, right up against Loki’s ear. “Tell me to stop and I’ll walk away right now.”

Loki swallowed. Time seemed to slow down, then he heard himself whisper, weakly, “Hold me down.”

He felt Thor freeze behind him.

Loki closed his eyes, let himself go pliant. “I need you to...to force me. To take it.”

“Okay,” Thor said, after a beat. He kissed the back of Loki’s neck, and Loki shivered. “Okay.”

Then he thumbed Loki’s jeans open and yanked Loki’s them down in one swift movement, baring Loki’s ass to the air. Loki renewed his struggle and growled angrily, writhing again in Thor’s hold. He knocked his head backwards into Thor’s face, but Thor only shoved Loki’s face against the wall with his massive hand, covering Loki’s frame with his own.

“Stop this,” Thor ordered, his hand coming down hard upon Loki’s naked ass.

Loki howled. Thor didn’t stop. He began raining heavy, reverberating smacks on Loki’s ass until Loki couldn’t breathe without sobbing, then kept going until he was snivelling, vision blurry through his tears. Thor let go of his arms, but Loki felt pinned in place anyway, just from the overbearing weight of Thor’s presence. 

In his effort to escape from Thor’s wrath, Loki’s back had arched away, such that he was bracing himself against the wall on his arms, shaking as he tried to keep himself from sliding down the wall to his knees. 

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed under his breath, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Good,” Thor said, breathing heavily himself. He ran a hand across Loki’s heated ass, then made a noise of surprise.

Loki stiffened. He could feel come dripping down the insides of his thighs. Old, stale come, from the three men who had fucked him earlier that night.

“Stop,” he choked. “Get off—get off me, Thor, please—” 

Loki whirled around on unsteady knees, but had to lean against the wall to stop from falling when his head spun dizzily. 

Thor made another noise of surprise, choked in his throat.

Loki went weak against the wall, shaking. “Please go,” he whispered, covering his face. It was that, or cover his hard, leaking cock, now bared to Thor’s gaze. 

Loki’s fingers dug into the skin of his face as he shuddered all over. 

Then Thor’s hand wrapped around his cock, and Loki fell apart.

“Haven’t you humiliated me enough?” he choked out, and began to weep in earnest. 

“Hush,” Thor whispered, pressing himself close. Loki couldn’t help himself, he leaned in to Thor’s bulk—he was so tired, and Thor was so solid, caging him in. Almost as if he could keep Loki from shattering into a million shards right then and there.

“Is this what you wanted from me, Loki?” Thor asked, dragging his fist up and down Loki’s cock to illustrate what he meant by this

Loki took panting, shallow breaths, loud in the sudden quiet of the room, and said nothing. 

“Tell me, brother,” Thor asked, “these men of yours, do they ever suck you off?”

Loki choked, but he didn’t reply. His cock twitched in Thor’s hand, which was answer enough.

Thor dropping to his knees, and took half of Loki’s cock into his mouth in one smooth motion, pulled off, then took the rest of it down his throat on his next go. 

Loki felt hot, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks, his knees shaking as wet heat engulfed his cock. Thor’s slick, strong tongue stroked noises from him that he never knew he could make. 

Thor’s hands manhandled Loki’s thighs, spreading them, and then his fingers were nudging past Loki’s balls, fucking into his wet, dripping hole.

Loki’s mind spun as his breath caught in his throat. How dare Thor. How dare he accuse Loki of whoring himself out, when he was on his knees, knuckle-deep inside his own brother’s ass. 

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Loki hissed, then broke off into a guttural groan, pleasure running hot down his spine as Thor spread his fingers inside his, tongueing at the same time at Loki’s slit. 

“Mmhm,” Thor hummed, rolling his eyes.

He made an anguished noise as Thor pulled away, swirling his tongue on the head of Loki’s cock for good measure. 

“Thor, what, god, what are you—”

“I’m giving you what you asked for,” Thor said. “No, what you need. This is what you need, isn’t it, brother?”

With that, Thor shoved his own shorts down, just enough for his cock to spring forth. 

I don’t need anything from you, Loki wanted to say, I get enough of it from other people

He had no chance to say anything, though, because in the next moment, Thor was lifting Loki up by his thighs, leaving his feet dangling off the floor, and then bearing Loki down onto his thick, hot cock. 

Loki’s shaking hands reached up to cover his mouth in an attempt to stop the whimpers that were rushing out of his throat. Thor panted, mouth open and pink, drinking Loki’s broken noises in. 

Loki’s head hit the wall as Thor breached him, slowly, so slowly, fucking into him where he was already fucked open. It took a moment for his brain to catch on, but Thor was muttering under his breath.

“—going to fuck their come out of you, brother. Going to keep you full, you’ll never need anyone ever again, I swear—”

Loki sobbed, high and dazed, then moaned as Thor flexed his hips, fucking in deeper. 

“You’re mine, Loki,” Thor growled. “Always have been, always will be.”

“You said no,” Loki snarled, “I bared my soul to you and you fucking told me no—you—fuck—I hate you, I hate you—”

“You love me,” Thor said, pulling out and slamming into Loki. “And you love this, too.” Loki’s toes curled and he had to bite back a desperate, high-pitched whimper. The sound caught in his throat, making it feel tight, sore. 

“Fuck you,” Loki groaned. “Fuck you, I hate you.”

“You’re much better at lying when you’re not sobbing on my cock, brother,” Thor said, and began to fuck Loki in earnest. 

Each heavy, hot stroke of Thor’s cock into his hole made Loki arch, whimpering, and every time Thor pulled out, Loki scrabbled at the wall, biting his lip to stop himself from begging for more. 

“Look at you,” Thor growled, eyes closed as he pistoned his hips into his younger brother, his breath hot on Loki’s face. “You want to be fucked so badly, you’ll take any cock into your slutty hole. Even if it’s your own brother’s.”

Thor was making good on his promise to fuck the come from the other men out of him. Loki could feel himself dripping onto the floor as Thor’s cock punched garbled sobs from his throat. He felt sloppy, messy, used. He felt like a whore. 

In the end, Loki thought, Thor was right. 

Loki’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as Thor reached down and wrapped a hand around his aching cock, still keeping him braced up against the wall. His brother was a monster of a man, Loki thought dazedly. And his monster of a cock was fucked deep inside Loki’s clenching hole.

“If you could see how fucked out you look, Lo, fuck,” Thor breathed.

Lo. The nickname made Loki’s chest ache and he sobbed as Thor began to jerk him off. Two strokes, and Loki was coming, mouth open in a soundless cry. Tears spilled down his cheeks as Thor came inside him, pumping him full of come again. 

Thor pressed his forehead to Loki’s chest, curling in on himself as he came, and then stayed like that for a few long moments.

“Let me down,” Loki whispered, exhausted. “Please.”

His legs shook as they hit the floor, knees going wobbly. Thor caught him, and Loki shook his head, trying to push him away.

“Haven’t you gotten what you wanted?” Loki choked out. “Just leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving you alone like this,” Thor said. 

“What the fuck more do you want from me,” Loki said, voice breaking. 

“Let me take care of you,” Thor said, his hand coming up to stroke Loki’s jaw. 

All of Loki’s protests were caught in his throat, confusion making him slow. Why would Thor…?

“Take care of me?” Loki asked, incredulous. “You just hit me and fucked me.”

“I’m sorry,” Thor said, sounding genuinely contrite. “I’m sorry if you didn’t like it, I should have…”

“I liked it just fine,” Loki bit out. God, he just wanted to get into bed. Maybe try to enjoy the afterglow before the inevitable fall-out. Why was Thor ruining this for him? “But it’s done now. So leave me alone.”

“Loki,” Thor said slowly, as if coming to a realization. “Did they never give you aftercare?”

“Don’t need it,” Loki mumbled. 

Thor swore under his breath, and Loki found himself being hauled up against Thor’s chest, Thor’s arms under his knees. His pants were still dangling from one leg, and he grumbled tiredly to himself as he kicked them off. 

Thor was taking him down the hall, and, thank God, Loki was finally going to get to his bedroom, but he turned right instead of left, and soon Loki was being laid down on Thor’s bed. 

He curled up into a ball, shaking his head.

“What is it?” Thor asked.

“Gonna get come on your sheets,” Loki mumbled. His mind was going sideways, the way it did sometimes when he was fucked hard. This was usually around the time they kicked him out, and Loki would deal with the aftermath of that on his own, hoping he didn’t start crying until he was in his bedroom. 

“It’s fine,” Thor said, stroking a soothing hand down his head. “It’s fine, shh.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered, blinking back tears. “I don’t know—I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s normal, Lo,” Thor said. The bed dipped as he curled up behind Loki, spooning him. Thor’s knees knocked into the back of Loki’s legs, his barrel of a chest a safe harbor for Loki to rest. Loki breathed, in and out, in and out. He felt warm. Good. Something was tingling in his chest, and words that he kept closed in his heart were clamoring to be let out. 

Thor wouldn’t hurt him. Thor was holding him so gently.

“You fucked me,” Loki said, wonderingly, stroking Thor’s palm where it lay open beside his face. 

“I did,” Thor said, sounding unsure. “Did you…?”

“Best fuck I’ve ever had,” Loki admitted, feeling effusive. 

“I can do better,” Thor said, and it sounded like a promise.

“Don’t need better,” Loki mumbled, “just need you.”

“You have me,” Thor said, kissing the back of Loki’s neck and making him shiver. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Loki said. “Okay.”

After a moment, he asked, “Thor...do you really think I’m a whore?”

“What, no,” Thor said, tensing up behind him. “Fuck, Lo, of course not. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—I say stupid things when I’m angry. And just—the thought of those men touching you—they didn’t even take care of you afterwards! Sorry. Sorry.” He stroked a hand down Loki’s side, gentle, as Loki startled at Thor’s anger.

“I’m an idiot,” Thor admitted quietly, “I love you. Always have. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you.”

“Why did you say no,” Loki said, quiet, tucked into Thor’s arm. “I told you and—” Loki fought to keep his voice steady. “I thought you were disgusted. I thought you didn’t want me.”

“I do want you. You have to know that I do. I’m sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. But you’re my brother, Lo,” Thor said softly. “I’m supposed to take care of you. I didn’t...I don’t want to be like the other guys you’ve fucked.” 

“You’re not,” Loki said, shaking his head. “You’re not like them at all.”

Thor tucked his face against the back of Loki’s neck, and murmured into his skin, “I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“Thor, stop,” Loki said, reaching behind him to grab Thor’s free hand and squeeze it. “I like being hurt,” he continued. “It feels good. It’s not...it’s not abuse, you know?”

They didn’t give you aftercare,” Thor grumbled.

“Okay,” Loki admitted. “Okay, so that’s kind of fucked up. But you wouldn’t leave me like that, would you? You’d take care of me?”

“Of course,” Thor said. He wrapped an arm around Loki’s waist. “Always, Lo.”

“You have to admit,” Loki said with a small laugh, “this is kind of fucked up.”

“Doesn’t feel fucked up,” Thor said, kissing Loki’s neck.

“Yeah,” Loki agreed, snuggling back into Thor’s hold. “Feels good.”

“I meant what I said,” Thor said. “I’ll give you what you need, Lo. Whatever you need.”

“Mm,” Loki said. “Gonna need to invest in some whips.”

“Sure,” Thor said, easily. 

“You’re crazy,” Loki said. “This whole thing is absurd.”

“And you need to get washed,” Thor said. “Let’s get you clean. I have that lemon-scented bubble bath you used to love.”

“I still love it,” Loki said, snuggling into Thor’s arm. 

“Up you go, then,” Thor said, and tucked Loki into his arms again.

“Whee,” Loki mumbled, and closed his eyes as Thor carried him to the bathroom. Thor set him on his feet on the soft bath rug and Loki smiled to himself as he drummed his toes on it.

“Hey, Lo?”

Loki blinked up, and Thor was wrapping an arm around his waist, drawing him in gently. He opened his mouth to talk, but Thor’s next words took his breath away.

“Can I kiss you?” Thor asked, thumbs rubbing along Loki’s hip bones.

Loki nodded, feeling slow and stupid, and made a surprised noise when Thor’s actually kissed him.

He didn’t realize how he desperately was arching up into it, going up on his toes to get closer, opening his mouth for Thor’s tongue, whining, until Thor pulled away with a huff of fond laughter.

“Sorry,” Loki mumbled, feeling his cheeks flush. 

“No, god, don’t apologize. You’re amazing,” Thor whispered, rubbing a hand between Loki’s shoulders, kissing Loki’s cheek, his jaw, his neck. He lifted Loki’s wrists to his lips and kissed them, gentle as a brush of a feather. “I’m going to take such good care of you, Lo.”

Then Thor was gently herding him under the shower. The water washed over him, warm, and Loki wished he could purr like a cat. Thor was going to take care of him tonight.

The rest of it could be sorted out in the morning.