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Where Am I?





It’s soo dark in here I can’t see anything

Have you considered using that trusty flashlight of yours?

No…..Wait what?

You know, the flashlight. Your strife weapon.


You used it to fight all those freaky monsters that appeared in your house….

 Or mansion.

 You also used it when you got house switched with the troll equivalent of me.

 Kind of like the tv show Wife Swap.

 Only instead of wives it’s humans and aliens.

 Under aged humans and aliens.

 And no one wants to kill themselves before they swap back.

 What kind of swap would we call this?

 A House Swap?

 Buddy Swap?

 Morail Swap?

 ……….I don’t know how to respond to any of that.

 I guess first I’d like to say I don’t even live in a mansion; it’s more of a manor.

 Well excuse me miss smarty pants, I’m trying to get back in touch with normal and level minded speech

 Do you have any Idea how hard it is to be your ultimate self with an infinite amount of knowledge concerning all the timelines your other selves have existed in, and having to revert back to a pattern of speech that is somewhat coherent to those of a much simpler mind and time?

 I didn’t think that the differences between a “manor” and “mansion” really mattered to someone who’s only 14 years old.

 I’m trying to be polite here

 …………………….Ok I need to process all this info a step at a time so let me get back to you on that question

 So I’m going to continue listing the amount of things I don’t know of that you have already mentioned.

 First, we’ve already covered my house being a manor

 Second, I don’t even have a strife weapon is.

 If I did, I wouldn’t make it a flashlight.

 Third, I’ve never had the pleasure to meet these “monsters” you mentioned, and I remain clueless to the rest of your ramblings.

 Oh….I’m sorry I forgot I’m still in Earth Cs Universe by your point of view.


 Wait a second……

 How do you even exist in our universe?

 I’m going to stop you right there and remind you that I have no idea what you are going on about

 I guess I’m going to have to get a bit invasive here, don’t worry you won’t feel a thing.

 EW, stop that, now your just being creepy.

 ………Holy shit

 Oh my ME, that little slut actually knocked her up in this universe, TWICE?

 I knew Jake was a dumb little tramp, but holy fuck this takes the cake to another level.

 This cake is so fucking tall now it’s practically a wedding cake.

 Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

 I’m not even going to try to understand how A. Claire even exists here this is already surprise enough. (What? you thought I was going to reveal the mother’s first name here? That would take all the fun out of it. I’m still in charge of this shitshow)

 Ok, you know that thing your doing right now.

 Talking about things that I told you I have no knowledge of.

 It would be great if you could stop doing that.

 Hang on a second Joey; I’m currently processing how it is I could’ve fallen for such a disappointment of a man like your father.

 My father? What? I never even knew my father

 No one knows who my father is.

 Well, except for mom, but she’s gone now.

 So how the heck do you know?

 Who are you anyway?

 How do you know my name?

 Am I being pranked right now?

 Ok I’m done processing

 Look Joey I’m not going to spoil my surprise for you here.

 You aren’t quite ready yet, but I will say this.

 Even though we are not connected by blood, I see a lot of potential in you.

 We will meet again soon

 Though you may not be “you” exactly.

 Oh and before I go, just remember that it is ok to not completely “like” only boys, you can like any gender you want.

 Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to the “other” Joey.

 What do you me-


Joey, wake up ==>