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A New Beginning

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"The first beach shouldn't be much further," Jillian whispered to herself

She had been driving all morning and when she saw the beach pop up on her map she couldn't resist a moment to stop and write in such a beautiful location.

She followed her GPS down La Push road and kept her eyes open for any sign of water. Children were playing and laughing with their parents in their small yards as she passed. She smiled thinking of how much fun they must be having in the rare sunny day.

Jillian loved the sun and she loved the feeling of the warmth on her skin as she would write or paint in her peaceful places. She hadn't stopped and stayed too long in any location for over a year. She spent her time in her car looking for new spots to write and paint. She traveled for inspiration and new ideas. She sold them in every major city and made her living off the money it earned her. Her writing she was collecting to publish her own book one day. She was almost finished.

She had written over two hundred poems that she thought fit her theme of life and individuality. When she had enough money or an interested publisher she would put them out for the world to see.

Concentrating on the road in front of her she followed the winding road and was eventually lead down to a light sandy beach. Pulling into the small empty lot she threw her bag over her shoulder and made her way to the sand. Slipping off her sandal she tested the sand with her big toe and found it warm but not too hot to the touch. She dug her feet in and walked onto the beach finding a large white log to sit on with a spectacular view of the ocean and the cliffs in the distance.

Jillian hiked up her knee skirt and sat close enough to the tide so the waves washed over her toes. With a deep sigh, she leaned back on her elbows and took in the sun. The mild heat with the cool gentle breeze was calming and relaxing as she soaked it all in. The birds sang around her and the waves crashed against the shore adding to the relaxing environment.

She sat in silence until the inspiration she was looking for hit like a freight train.

As quickly as possible she pulled out her notebook and her favorite pen and began to write. The words flowed like the ocean and filled the page as if she was trying to force something out. The kept moving and she couldn't and didn't want it to stop. This was the most she had written in weeks.

A fake floating feeling
Falls short
Of my fleeting fantasy.

This insidious infirmity
Isn't what I intended.
I've been inflicted
With internal indisposition.
In need of an ideal identity.

She paused thinking of the word she wanted to use and when it came to her she continued jotting down her newest piece.

Who am I without
This opiate to make me whole?
How do I heave my heart
Away from this hole?
Have you seen how hard this is?

But it's been short of a year,
Of believing I can simply be.
And before I break
Bleed me of my bane.
And for me, bear no malice.

Tightly take me
Away from my terrible tempest.
Time tells me it's time to stop.
Too long I've tortured my tenement.
Tame the tantrum tearing through me.

Sober seems strong,
But it's systematic survival.
Stopping the surrender
To something stimulating.
Learning to stand sedated.

No I'm no longer numb.
No longer neglecting me need
For new Novocain.
Knowing I'll never need
This vaccine again.

The waves crashed harder against the shore and the wind picked up and blew roughly through the trees. She held her paper down and let her thoughts and feelings flow.

You are all my ambition.
Dispelling my ailments
And afflictions.
I am hard to adore, I know.
You are my new addiction.

You all have me dreaming,
Praying we are real.
Made me feel.
Don't deceive my brittle belief.
Keep me, don't leave.

I'm not the kind to fly.
For you all I'd try to dive.
Unafraid I might die.
I don't hide from the night.
This is what I've been trying to find.

The flow of words stopped and she read over her work confused. She wrote about nature and self-identity, but this was love. This was adoration and complete devotion. She even used weird references to multiple people, 'You are all my ambition', 'You all have me dreaming', 'For you all, I'd try to dive'. She would have to go back and fix that it made no sense. When you reference love it's supposed to be toward a singular individual, not a mysterious multiple.

"Hey!" a deep voice called out

Her head snapped up and she caught sight of a muscular man jogging over to her secluded spot.

She watched him and waited to see where he was going, and who he was talking to. After a moment she stopped in front of her and squatted down to her level, "Hey?"

She looked him up and down, avoiding his face, noticing his shirtless chest, toned abs and arms, "Hey." She squeaked out her mouth going dry

He grinned, "I've never seen you around here. What are you doing here all alone?" he asked trying to peek at her notebook.

Jillian moved to clutch it to her chest and cleared her throat. "I'm a writer. I'm writing."

He stuck out his hand in her direction and smiled, "I'm Paul."

She took his hand and looked up to meet his eyes, "I'm Jillian." She whispered her eyes locked on his. She was stuck looking into his deep brown eyes, lost in the trance they created. He was handsome and huge. Even squatting down he was so much bigger than her and that was saying something.

Jillian didn't think she was fat but she knew she wasn't small either. She had large hips, a bigger than supposed to be backside and matching chest to go along with her backaches. She dropped his hand and curled into herself folding in to seem smaller.

Paul looked her up and down giving her a lopsided grin as he did so. He was shocked to have found her, his imprint sitting here on the beach just near their patrol route. He smelled her scent of apples and cinnamon from over a mile away. It smelled like home and before he realized it he was going off course and following the beautiful scent. He looked out as a wolf and saw her sitting in the sand writing, and practically glowing in the sunlight. Her curly dark black hair shone in the light and cast a glow around her. Her pale skin sparkled and glowed in the light. If he hadn't smelled her, he would have assumed she was a vampire, but she smelled human and absolutely divine.

She was perfect and she was his.