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All For Him

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"Papa why is Jaebom crying again? I was just playing with him,” little Jungkook huffs as he held his dad's hand, angry that his playmate ran away from him once more.

"Sport, youre being too mean to Jaebom. You gotta say sorry so he can play with you again," he replied softly, a bit amused and concerned about his son's actions. But then again he was just a child.

"But I did! And he kept hiding behind Mrs. Chung!" he whines "He isn't fun! He's such a crybaby! I want Jin hyung! When is he coming back?!" he was immediately shushed.

"Jeon Jungkook that's very rude,” his dad scolded. The little one huffed, pulling his hand away from his dad, crossing his arms as he was fuming mad.


And thus, a tantrum broke loose, as the boy stomps his foot angrily and yelled for his hyung's name.


His father sighed and carried the angry whining child in his arms, patting his back gently as an effort to calm him down.
"Jin will be back bud, just wait a little longer.."


And with that, the walk was filled with the little boy demanding for his hyung's presence. Yelling and screaming as he hit his father's back with his small hands and kicked with all he can.

His father was unaffected, as if he was already used to this reaction.
“We’re home!"

Their home was just a small two-story townhouse.  The soft orange color of the walls complimented the wooden floors they had, the door was just in front of the staircase with another room leading to the kitchen with the humming of his mother making dinner.

Little Jungkook had stopped his whining, possibly from exhaustion. His baby face was still red and his eye were bearing small tears. Frustrated that he isn't seeing his hyung right now.

His father smiled as his wife
came over and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Welcome home sweetie, and my precious baby Kookie~" she ignored the protest of her son and took him into her warm embrace, showering him with millions of kisses all over his face with a bone crushing hug.


"Aigoo my baby's all big now.. you don't want kisses any more.." she pouts but still kisses her son one more before letting go.

"Smells like we're having noodles" he smiles to his son as he messes little Jungkook's hair, chuckling at his son's angry reaction.

"Mama can I go to the garden?" little Jungkook quickly asked after he was placed down, seemingly in a hurry.
"Alright, but be on time for dinner okay?" she smiles at her litttle boy nodding and  hurriedly got out the backdoor.

Free, finally free.

Jungkook had been aching to do it for the entire day.

He went further away from the stylized garden and further in the small safe spot he had. It was just a lake, it was close to his neighborhood but hidden as rarely anyone went here, it was surrounded with a few big trees. So it's perfect hiding spot.
Jungkook has a special place where he puts special things inside.

While he walked along the path to the lake, hearing his feet stomps the ground. He came across a small puppy.
It look as if it was a four week old, barking cutely at the little one, probably trying finding it's mother.

Jungkook took the puppy into his arms and continued to walk. Ignoring how the little puppy was barking at him and trying to bite his fingers off, when the puppy started to struggle free. The boy pulled harshly on it's tail, at the harsh treatment the small puppy whined loudly and started whimpering. But the small boy continued his walk.

In a tree, hid a shoe box surrounded by dead leaves and under it a gruesome smell. The stench of metallic and something else was strong.

The little one smiles at his stash before grabbing the box with his small hands. The puppy was still with him on his other arm as he held the box closely.

It was way to relieve stress or to just do it out of boredom, either way he made his way to the lake. Where the fun shall start.

He places the box down and then places the puppy down on the ground, belly up.
Jungkook then proceeded to hold it down by its neck and put weight on the tail.
Jungkook stared emotionless, at the puppy, who was slowly struggling.
He grabbed the small knife from the box and starts to work on the poor puppy, ignoring the pained whines and howls.

"It's not fun anymore.."
Jungkook frown as he stares at the graphic scene he made. The pocket knife still in hand as it was now drenched in blood.

The puppy, laid motionless on it's back as it was cut open from the neck to his belly as blood spur out and coloring it's fur in red.

"Getting a big doggy sounds nice.."
Jungkook stared with no regret, his big doe eyes filled with nothing as he watch the blood drip down from the puppy's cut to the ground.

"But I can't kill a big doggy.. it won't fit in the tree," he sighs "I've already tried kitties and squirrels but I got tired from them so fast..."

All the blood was going to the lake. He washed his hands with it and discarded the knife to the box and the dead puppy body in the tree with the rest of what he killed, covering the bodies with leaves then placing down the box.

He liked how the creatures were at his control, he could control it's fate while seeing it struggle and cry. He likes hearing it whimper out of pain and slowly go stiff once he puts too much pressure to his blade.

But it wasn't enough.

His body itch for something, something bigger than the bugs, rats, and birds he killed.

He wants a challenge, a bigger challenge than a big doggy.


And he just might know what it was.


Jungkook was deeply loved and cherished by his family, his parents and brother adored him. Not minding his temper issues, lack of empathy, and his cute obsession towards their neighbor's child.

"Kook-ah it's your favourite," his mother coos as she poured a bit more noodles into his bowl, smiling sweetly at her child.

"Thank you mama.."

He looked forward towards his family. His parents next to each other, while spare chair his brother used to sit at before he moved to Seoul.

Jungkook ate slowly, eyeing his parents who talked about their day.

"How was Kook doing with little Jaebom?" his mother asked.

"Aish.. not.. not that well.. I think the Chungs hates us now," his dad scratched his head, smiling a bit from the memory.

"Well.. Kook here is just a little on the shy side.. this is good practice to make him more social to the other kids.”

His mom always forced him to go on playdates with the other kids from the block, they were always too dumb, too annoying, too weak for him.

He could only grunt when their planning another playdate with another kid.

"Kook-ah, after you eat go straight to bed alright?" his mother said and he groans.
Jungkook has plans, and he wished to stick with them.

12am struck as the little one was still wide awake, staring at the clock on his wall.
It was time.

He gets out of bed, his small feet hitting the floor as Jungkook grabbed the familiar box from below his bed.

The blade was inside, he stole this pocket knife from his dad's tool box. The only tool that was light enough for him to carry.
There, he made his way to his parent's room.

The door lightly creaking open as he pushed it open. He sees his parents fast asleep on their bed, not knowing what will come next.

His mother was facing the door as his dad had an arm around her. She laid with her arm spread, as if ready to hug Jungkook.

Little Jungkook's felt his heart beat quicken, pounding in his chest, he felt excited. He was going to try it on a real human than a wild animal.

This was the biggest creature he's ever done. He's so ready, he felt so ready.
His hand was already itching for him to do it, slice it open, as he walked closer and closer to the bed and once close enough he pressed the blade harshly against the soft skin before he quickly dragged it.




His mother got hospitalized, scared and traumatized, of her own son.
She would refuse to see her son as the giant scar on her arm stayed as a reminder of what he'd done.

Jungkook always stayed outside her room, holding the flowers while his parents fight. More crying than actually fighting.

He knew they were fighting about him, about his actions. About what he did to his mother, but he doesn't care. He does not feel regretful to what he done. Instead, he feels empowered by it.

After his mother got hospitalized, his dad was always quiet. He wasn't talking to him anymore. Hell, he can't even look at him.
The neighbors doesn't even know he done this to his mother, his parents kept it a secret. Out of fear perhaps? Or maybe humiliation?

Jungkook doesn't mind, he likes how quiet it was now. He also gets to spent more time with Jin once his family got home. Jungkook was overwhelmed with happiness.

He wanted to keep this forever.
After a month in the hospital, his mother has mysteriously left without telling anyone.

The police tried to find her, and only found a ticket to Gangwon-do. But it made Jungkook even happier. His father was always out, he would always be out with the police trying to look for his mother.

Because of this, he gets to spent more time with Jin, more time with his hyung.
He wants more, he needs more. He wants Jin, he wants all his time spent with Jin.

Little Jungkook's dad had found his mother, she was staying at her parent's house in secret. Hiding from them.

It broke his father's heart, but made Jungkook the happiest. Because now, his dad is barely at home now and if he is, he would just sleep and cry, ignoring his son's presence completely. And this was perfect.

Now, he has a plan to make him permanently stay with his Jin hyung.

Jungkook starts by causing bruises to himself. He starts to bump into things, making his bruises look believable, he starts to smash vases and start to cut into his skin. Not too big cut but noticeable.

"What happened to you Kookie?!" his beloved hyung asked, touching his bruises, being so close to him.
He loves how gentle his hyung's touches were, how soft his skin is to his. The nickname he uses on him. He loves that.

"Papa... Papa's hurting me.."

Then one day while his dad was out drinking his life away. Little Jungkook formulated his plan, smiling to himself.
He invited Jin over to watch some movies while his dad was out. His plan was starting perfectly.


"Hyung hide!"

"Wha- Jungkook-?"

"Please, he's here.."

Jin widen his eyes as he followed his friend's order and hid in the closet.
"Jungkook.. how about you?"

"I'll be fine hyung, don't worry," Jungkook smiled and quickly went downstairs.

Jungkook watched his pathetic father struggling to hold himself up, the wall supporting his drunken state.

"Looks like you decided to come home",
He was quiet, like always. "Can't you just stay out forever? I was having so much fun with Jin hyung," Jungkook glared "You aren't even doing anything, your just drink and cry all day, you can't even fix yourself up idiot"

His father was weak, looking down on the ground as his son spat those words. Little Jungkook could see the small tears forming in his failure of a father. He groans.

"After this, I'm going to be living with Jin hyung. Sleep in the same bed as his, wear his clothes, be so close to him," little Jungkook fantasize these memories, excited for them to come true. "And you won't be in it papa.”

Then, his father finally showed his face.
The little one takes had a broken bottle in his hand, smiling wickedly as he then stabbed his arm with it.



"Your safe now Kookie, he won't hurt you no more"

The little one smiled as he got the smell of his hyung filled in his system. His grip on his hyung was tight as the police took his father away. His wounds and brusies he made were all patched up by them.

"Now I'm going to stay with you hyungie! I could sleep in your bed!" Jungkook smiled through the crocodile tears "I'll live with hyungie and be with hyungie forever!"

He could only feel his handsome hyung brushing his hair, it made his body feel electricity going through him but Jin let go of the hug.

"No Kookie.. I'm sorry but your brother is going to come and bring you to Seoul.”

Little Jungkook's face dropped, his world was crumbling apart. His body froze while his brain struggled to process what his hyung has just said.


Jungkook was a strange child.

Once Junghyun, his brother. Took custody over him, all he did was cry. Not out of happiness but cry an angry outbust of tears as he was going to be separated from his friend.


Crash! Crash!




He was thrashing around, throwing all the things he could grab around the room.

It's been three years, and all he talks about is Jin.

Jin this, Jin that.

He knew something was wrong with his brother.

Junghyun had been trying to help him, get him the help he needed. He suspected he was traumatized by the abuse of his father, and his only comfort was his friend.


This was unhealthy, his relationship with Jin made him sick, cause him to get so violent and impulsive, he wasn't like this before. What happened in that house that made Jungkook so attached to Jin?
Did Jin do something to his brother? He didn't like how close and touchy they were. Jin must've tricked him.

But, Junghyun couldn't recognize Jungkook anymore, he can't see his sweet shy little brother. All he saw was someone else in his body. This person was isolated, callous, and reckless.

Junghyun even had fights with him, where it'll lead to cuts and bruises just from trying to get him out of his room for his weekly sessions.

"I'm going to Jin hyung, I want to see him" Jungkook had a bag full of clothes, ready to leave him.

Junghyun blocked his way, glaring at him. "YOUR SICK JUNGKOOK! THIS OBSESSION OF YOURS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND"

"Hyung I don't give a shit," Jungkook spat, "It's my birthday and I'm turning 18 now. That means I can do whatever the hell I want"

A smile formed on his face. This stubborn bastard.

"And I want to see Jin hyung" he started walking towards the door.

Junghyun's heart tightened, he couldn't help but let out small tears. He wanted to help him, he wanted to help Jungkook out of this obsession.

"Why.. Why are you so addicted to Jin? I SPENT ALL MY TIME TRYING TO HELP YOU GET THIS OBSESS SHIT OUT OF YOU! I TOOK YOU TO CLASSES THAT'LL HELP YOU! HIRED THERAPISTS FOR YOU" Jungkook stopped in front of the door, turning to him.

"Why are you even trying to cure someone whose not even sick? Is love a disease?" Jungkook replied "Plus, were you there when mom left? Were you there when dad beat the shit out of me every time he's drunk?"

Junghyun went silent.
“Wait.. what do you mean love..?',

"Jin hyung was the only one who was there for me.. only one who was kind to me once mom and dad divorced," his eyed were so soft when he talked about his friend, but glazed over when he looked at his brother.

“Love.. your friend...? Jin..?”

"While you were too busy ignoring us with college, Jin hyung treated me with nothing but kindness.”

Junghyun couldn't say anything, slowly realizing everything as he connected all the dots.

How he talks about Jin, how he behaves whenever it involves Jin. His eyes always on the phone as if he was talking to someone...

'Is this why you’re acting like this? You were....’

'No.. he couldn't be..'

"Are you in love with Jin?"
How fast Jungkook's head turned towards him, how his irises widen by the sound of his name. Faded red shown in his cheeks as he resist a smile. Looking straight at him.

Oh god he was right.
His brother is gay.

"Yes I am hyung," he stared down Junghyun's horrified face "And I'm proud of it"

'No... no.. what?'

"Y-You can't be gay!"

Jungkook opened the door, and looked back to the shocked man behind him.
"My ride is here, goodbye brother"


The door clicked, and Junghyun was all alone in the ruined living room, with nothing but a heavy heart for him.

'I was too late to save you...'

Getting in the car, Jungkook smiled to himself.

"Where to?"

"To the Jada Motel"

As the car moves, Jungkook couldn't help but feel happiness bubble inside. He's going to see Jin, he was going to see his Jin.

Jungkook has already passed the entrance exam to his college, and all he needs to do now is to pass the interview.
It's also good that he won't be disturbed by his brother now. The look on that homophobe's face finding out his brother is gay was hilarious.


He opened his phone, and with the best of luck, it was the love of his life. With a new story was posted on his Instagram account.
A selfie of Jin in his bed, smiling at the camera with those glossy plump lips, with the word goodnight written above.
Jungkook couldn't help but caress his finger over his face, lovingly staring at his picture.

"Just wait a little longer hyung.. I'm going to get you and we'll finally be together again.”