Death is a pain in the ass. But then, having a raging demon rip out your heart and eat it before your very eyes is not a pleasant way to go.
It really fucking hurts. She had to sit there and watch her own blood as it covered the demon's face and chest. He didn't care.
'I figured those bastards would get me one day,' mused D as her consciousness faded, 'I almost killed them all... almost killed every fallen angel, demon and devil on Earth...'
"Lord Satan sends his regards," hissed the demon in bad English, "He hasn't forgotten your deal with him."
'Figures he'd find a way to weasel around his promise,' she fumed, 'Grant me the power to slay any fallen angel, demon or devil in any time, place or dimension.'
"Oh he kept his word alright," he growled, "I'm a Cambion... a creature half-human, half-incubus."
"Lord Satan will see you in hell..."
D gasp as her lungs sought new air, as if she had been without for a long time. Opening her eyes, she saw she was in some kind of alleyway under a blood red sky. It took a moment for her to realize her heart and all of her blood was back inside her, and she wasn't in agony.
'Goddammit,' she muttered as she sat up, 'Why to I feel so strange?'
The first thing she noticed was a pair of boobs that were way too big to be hers, mostly covered in a fine layer of white fur that somehow made her generously large and red nipples and areola stand out even more. She grabbed her own tits to look at them more closely when she noticed she had black claws instead of fingernails. They weren't terribly long. No more than some of the fake nails she had seen in that other life.
In the corners of her sight, she could see blood red hair cascading over her shoulders. She wasn't sure just how far it ran down her back.
Other parts felt strange as well. Her legs, they weren't bent right. There was something attached to her ass as well, like a long, thin tail. She leaned far enough ahead to look over her motherly assets to see she had cloven hooves like some kind of upright goat. Her three foot long tail snaked about her hip, showing its barbed tip to her.
'Shit, he would do this to me, wouldn't he?!' she fumed.
It was awkward standing up on such inhuman feet for the first time. She always wondered how Satyrs managed to walk upright like that.
'Great... there's something stuck to my ass too!' she added as she pulled the envelope that was somehow secured to one of her butt cheeks. There was a blood red wax seal on it that spoke of the House of Satan.
Tearing the letter open and hoping it wasn't sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagner's porch since noon that morning, she pulled out a parchment. It was conveniently in English... or she was now fluent in the language of Hell... she read it.
"Remember our bargain, mortal. You will serve me and serve me well in the darkness down here."
It was signed, Satan... of course.
Now that she had been standing a moment, she realized the tail was in fact providing some counterbalance for her as she moved.
"That's okay," she muttered to herself, "I know I was going to Hell for this... arrangement. It's where I wanted to go all along."
She started walking towards the street, wondering if Hell had cops and how they felt about nudity in the general populace down here.
Hell was not what she expected. No rivers of lava. No lakes of boiling sulfur. No screaming in agony. No horny fucks running around stabbing the damned with those goddamn bloody pitchforks.
"It's kind of like Pittsburgh, but somehow doesn't smell as bad."
In fact, the city looked like something out of the world she had just left. Kinda made sense since she always figured people would go to Hell in a place they weren't totally unfamiliar with. It would add more to their disappointment later.
"HEY!" called a voice up the street, "THAT'S MY SHIT! GIVE IT BACK!"
"Oh goddammit," she muttered, "Now what?!"
Her ears seemed somehow more acute than she remembered, being able to focus on the alleyway the noise was coming from.
"Lord Beelzebub demands tribute from the peons!" growled a deep, almost canine sounding voice.
"Ah, Lord Beelzebub can suck my dick!"
There was the sound of wet meat being beat down on as she rounded the corner. Some kind of... spider freak just got gut punched and punched really hard. She was surrounded by a bunch of reject looking werewolves, the biggest and meanest one holding a bag of white powder over the head of the other. The big mouth dropped onto her knees before the eight or nine foot tall brute.
"Tell you what, rat-fucker," he growled as he grabbed her head, "You can suck my dick!"
"Excuse me!" called D.
"What do you want, bitch?!" he replied as he looked down the alley.
"Well it's a newbie," said one of them with a leer, "I get the new pussy first!"
"Shut up, fool!" he growled, "I'm the leader so all new pussy comes to me!"
"Yeah, I'm new here," mused D, "so pardon me if this is a dumb question: Are you all demons?"
"That's a fucking stupid question, alright," hissed one of the werewolves.
"Of course we're fucking demons!" agreed another.
"Good," she mused as she cracked her knuckles, "I don't want to spend my first battle fucking over the wrong assholes."
"She's naked and unarmed!" he growled, "Take her down and fuck her stupid!"
The spider creature slumped to the ground as a good dozen of the bastards moved as a pack to attack her.
Her anger burned in her chest as her fists burst into flame. The kind of flame that burned at the soul of evil. With a sharp uppercut, she both tore off the head of the werewolf dumb enough to lead the charge and sear the stump of his neck at the same time.
"What kind of shit is this?!"
She shoved her hands into the chest of the next two fools, her claws allowing her to easily slip between their ribs to rip out the quickly charring hearts. Her flames simply burned the wounds closed as she pulled her hands out.
"I haven't had this much fun in a dog's age!" she howled with delight.
Two more grabbed her hands behind her wrists past the flaming parts, but she simply smiled as she slammed them against each other, their bones crunching and snapping with sickening sounds.
"What kind of sinner are you?!"
"The kind that killed most of the rogue demons and fallen angels on Earth, you stupid bitch!" she yelled back.
"KILL THAT LITTLE SHIT!!" he screamed. He was so enraged, he completely forgot about the bag of powder that fell from his shaking hands.
"Keep dreaming, asshole!" she replied as she grabbed the head of the next demon and shoved it all the way down somewhere in his bowels.
One of them slipped behind her and applied a full Nelson hold against her, slipping his arms under hers before looping back and joining his hands together behind her neck.
"I got you now, you stupid cunt!" he growled into her ear as he pulled her arms back and her neck forward.
"Not so tough now, little goat," said the boss as he came up to grab a boob in each of his meaty mitts.
"Never assume the enemy is defenseless, asshole!" she hissed as she breathed fire that torched him from his waist down to his feet.
The boss screamed in pain as he fell back. A few of the remaining attackers were also set on fire as half the alleyway was engulfed in flames. Fortunately, she knew she wasn't facing the spider person that was being hassled earlier.
"What kind of monster are you?!" called the werewolf behind her as he tried to snap her neck with all of his strength.
"The kind that kills demons and devils," she hissed as spikes grew from her spine into the face, neck, chest and guts of her attacker. It was enough to get him to loosen his grip on her. Then as fast as they appeared, the slipped back into her back.
The remaining werewolves that were mobile turned tail and ran away.
The spider began to stir as she picked up the bag. "Phizzler Angel Dust" read the label on the bag.
"Great," she muttered, "Of course there would be Big Pharma in Hell."
"What the hell happened here?" asked the spider person. Their suit was white with pale gray horizontal stripes, and plenty of 'cleavage' showing.
"Well here's your bag back, miss... uh..." she replied as she paused, not knowing their name.
"Miss?!" they answered as they snatched the bag from her hand, "I'm a DUDE!"
"And what the hell are these?" she asked as she pulled the jacket open by the red lapels, "Man-boobs?!"
"What fucking business is that of yours?!" he replied.
She groped them as she mused, "Well these are the sweetest man-boobs I've ever felt."
They responded by dropping the bad into one of their pockets and then grabbing her larger breasts with all four of their hands.
"Hey," he mused, "These chest pillows ain't half bad neither!"
"So... you're a local,.. right?"
"Geez bitch," he replied, "What was your first fucking clue?!"
"You see all these corpses around us, don't you?!" she asked as she glared into his eyes. She couldn't help but notice that the right eye was normal (for a red eye), but the left eye was a black orb with a red pupil in it.
"What about it?!"
"What makes you think I can't do the same thing to your sorry ass?!" she growled.
"Because if you wanted to do that, you would have done it already!" he hissed with a dangerous leer.
She paused a moment before she replied, "Valid point."
"You going to grope my boobs all day?" he asked.
"I was going to ask you the same," she replied.
"Fine," he growled as he pulled back, "By the way, the name's Angel Dust."
"Most people just call me 'D'," she replied.
"What, you hunt vampires?" he chuckled.
"Hardee-har-har," she replied, "but I'm still not convinced you're really a dude."
"Well check out the package," he mused as he pointed at his crotch with two hands, so she just stuck her right hand right down his pants. "Okay," he said, "That's a little too eager!"
"Okay," she replied as she felt around, "I guess that's dude stuff. Are you sure you aren't some kind of she-male?"
"Bite your tongue!" he hissed.
She pulled her hand out with a grin.
"Don't think I owe you any favors for this!" he hissed as he re-buttoned his jacket.
"What makes you think that any favor from you is worth having?" she retorted.
"HEY!" he growled, "I know people! They owe me favors!"
"Yeah," she chuckled, "Prove it."
"FINE!" he retorted as he grabbed her by the wrist, "I'll prove it alright!"
He dragged her alley as she looked around. No one seemed to be paying attention to her. Maybe naked people weren't that unusual. Several blocks passed by as he lead her across town.
"What even is this place?" she asked at last.
"Pentagram City," he replied, "Where have you been?"
"Not here," she answered, "Not here."
He suddenly stopped as he said, "And here we are."
She looked up to see a sign reading "HAPPY HOTEL".
"What?" she asked, "Are you going to pay for me to stay here?"
"What?!" he asked back, "Why should I pay for you to stay here for free?!"
"Are you fucking deaf or just fucking stupid?!" he sneered, "I said 'FREE!'"
"There isn't supposed to be any kindness in Hell, dipshit!" she growled.
"Yeah, well the Princess of Hell is a little off her rocker!" he hissed back.
"Wait..." she asked, "Princess of Hell?! Seriously?!"
As if on cue, the front door opened to reveal a slender woman of pale complexion with rosy red dots on her cheeks and a pink tone on her eyelids. She had golden blonde hair which was long and luxurious. Her smile was marked by fangs of pearly white.
She wore a red jacket with black lapels and a white fluffy shirt underneath. Under that, she wore black pants. She looked very business-like.
"What can I say?" asked Angel, "I told you I know people like the Princess of Hell!"
"Greetings," she said as if ignoring Angel's outburst, "I'm Charlie. Welcome to the Happy Hotel. What's your sin?"
"Eh," mused D, "Murder and selling my soul to the Devil." For some reason, seeing Charlie made her heart skip a beat or three.
"I see you're new here," she replied as she took D's hand, "Let's get you inside and into some clothes, shall we?"
'She's a Princess of Hell... and she's HOT!!' thought D as she was lead in.
"You know, I think seeing you has caused me to commit another sin," she sighed.
Charlie just chuckled softly.