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Red Strings Of Fate Are Choking Me.

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“He was my sun, my moon, my stars. My everything.”

If someone told him on an early Sunday morning, he would be speaking about the man who broke his heart, he might’ve laughed. He might’ve then cried afterwards. But that wasn’t how it went down.

The air was cool, blowing his shirt softly back and forth. The sky was dark, and the stars shone into existence. Honestly, staring into the dark sky with the moon held high, and the wind whispering, it was all very comforting. It didn’t scare him anymore, he didn’t even shiver.

His heart never sped up again. It hasn’t since him.

He sits on the roof, his legs dangle. He isn’t scared of how close he is to the edge. His life doesn’t flash before his eyes. He doesn’t feel it. His heart doesn’t thump so loud that it’ll fall out of his chest. Nope. It all stays perfectly still, perfectly balanced with numbness.

“Hey... What’re you doing up here?”

Kirishima doesn’t recognize the voice but he does know the tone. One of someone surprised, hinting concern. But at the same time, they are here for something of the same.
Neither can sleep, something chipping at their hearts ever so slowly.

Kirishima collects himself up with a deep breath. He turns his head, attention collecting up who it is standing here too.
In the dimly lit light of the door to the roof, Kirishima makes out a face. The hair gave it away. Half white half red. Todoroki.

“I…Could ask you the same. I can’t sleep at this time.” Kirishima restricted any other words passing through his lips. It already felt like too much to say.

What he doesn’t expect is for Todoroki walk out from under the light into the darkness. He sits next to Kirishima, although leaving space in between them.

“Whatever is on your mind… You should speak it. I could… listen.” Todoroki quiet but comforting voice broke into him.

For some reason his mouth started to open. Words begged to be spoke, and he couldn’t stop them even if he wanted to. So, he did.

“He was my sun, my moon, my stars. My everything. But I’m sure you already know this..”

“Was?”

“Yeah. I guess it wasn’t meant to be or some shit? But it’s over. I don’t know. Its even harder when I have to be around him so much even now. But you know what is the worst part? I can’t feel anything anymore. I feel nothing towards anything in this world, and I just hate it. Its like seeing in black and white suddenly after seeing the most vivid and beautiful colors in the world. And I can’t even hate him for this. I just can’t. I don’t even actually know why. I know its some pure bullshit but I’m some damn idiot who couldn’t even find the answer. He took away my everything. He took away my color, he took away the life from me. I don’t feel anything except for the pain when I see him. I just want answers. No. What I want even more is to just feel okay again. I wish I could smile genuinely again but I’m not sure I ever will. I know its been 5 months… Almost six whole months but I can’t just let it go.“ He needs to stop talking for a minute, his hands are in fists. Scratch that, his arms aren’t tensed up, they are hardened. It’s almost too much for him and he wants to just scream.

Todoroki just looks ahead. He knows not to try to do anything, it’d all be so wrong. He’d never been able to comfort someone before.

For a time, there is silence. Or at least, how silent it can get apart from the wind and Kirishima’s heavy breaths.

“Maybe… If you can’t just forget your feelings, you aren’t meant to. Maybe there is something still tugging you to him, and until you can cut that string, you are still someone meant to be bound to him.”

“What? Do you mean I have to talk to him? I can’t.”

Todoroki shrugged.” Maybe. I’m not saying that, but if speaking with him gives you the strength to cut that string, do it.”

Kirishima sighs harshly, finally letting the tension go in his body. He isn’t sure what to think. He shrugs away from the ledge and stands up.
He heads from the room without thinking. His thoughts too clouded, and his eyes and body too tired. He could think more with a clear mind.

If only Kirishima had known who was listening and watching silently the whole time. Who stood in the shadows as he walked in, ready to walk after him. But when he saw Kirishima, he deflated. He remembered the words, and he saw his face. And he couldn’t. Kirishima was out of reach on the other end of the string.