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little things

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little things.

life was all about those little moments to ryujin. those moments which were insignificant to some, but meant the world to others.
like that one time her 5th grade crush called her ‘pretty’ while having the biggest smile on her face. or the time she won first place in a writing competition she had secretly put a lot of effort on (secretly, because she thought people would think she’s ‘weird’ for having a passion for writing). and that one day her math professor fell sick the day before an important exam -it wasn’t a serious illness, but a cold which got a bit out of hand- and it got pushed back for 3 days.
those little things were the ones that meant the most to ryujin. she believed that all those moments that felt good in the instant but you end up forgetting about in a matter of hours (or even minutes) were the ones that ended up impacting you the most in your life without you even knowing.

the little things, those were the ones that made her fall in love with yuna.
the way her eyes turned into two crescent moons and her smile became the shape of a heart whenever she smiled. hearing the young girl’s contagious laughter, which was a little louder than your average chuckle, but never failed to draw the biggest smile in ryujin’s face. the way yuna wrapped her long, thin arms around her and pressed her face against her chest when ryujin was breaking down. her puppy eyes and soft voice calling ryujin’s name whenever she wanted something really badly -like an ice cream- and didn’t have enough money to pay for it, so she tried to get her best friend to pay it for her. it always worked, ryujin couldn’t help but fall for the girl’s big, deep brown eyes, which sparkled with joy and looked like they held the milky way galaxy in them. these and many more were the reasons why shin ryujin was madly in love with her best friend, shin yuna. but ryujin was sure yuna would never feel the same way.

summer was ryujin’s favorite season. since they were out of school, yuna and ryujin always made sure to see each other every single day, because they couldn’t bear to be apart from each other for too long. they usually went to yuna’s favorite ice cream shop and bought two popsicles, a strawberry flavored one for yuna and a mango flavored one for ryujin. since their families were close, whenever yuna went on road trips she always took ryujin with her, making precious memories along the way. they constantly had sleepovers, went shopping together, had movie dates with each other, and when either of them got busy and knew they wouldn’t be able to see each other for a while, they always gave each other a big warm hug and promised to meet as soon as possible. and ryujin couldn’t help but blush a little whenever she realized how head over heels she was for yuna.

ryujin loved summer, but it’s not summer anymore. it’s already november, the temperatures are dropping, and ryujin and yuna are as busy as ever because of school, therefore they can’t see each other outside of it as much as they used to. they always walked home together, though, holding hands to get some warmth off each other.

but that was changing recently.

“ryujin, i made plans today. sorry for not telling you earlier” yuna said to ryujin apologetically after she noticed her standing outside of school, at the usual spot yuna and ryujin met to walk home together.
“really? uh, it’s okay” ryujin said in the calmest way possible - or at least she hoped she could’ve made it seem calm. she was sad, but didn’t feel like she had the right to be - after all, yuna was her own person, had her own friends, her own life. she couldn’t stick to ryujin all the time.
“i’m sorry, i promise i’ll buy you one of those popsicles you love so much tomorrow!” yuna said, and ran off before ryujin could even reply.
ryujin didn’t mind, really. she didn’t have any other close friends besides yuna, and she was okay with that. yuna was all she needed. she didn’t need anyone else.
ryujin was never a fan of crowds, or a fan of people in general, you could say. she always preferred to stay indoors, and rarely attended parties and school events. she didn’t have a close relationship with her family, either. her ex best friend, hwang yeji, had to move out of the country since her parents received a job opportunity in the united states, and they lost contact completely. she sometimes ate lunch with yuna and the class president, choi jisu, but she secretly knew jisu only talked to her out of pity. and as she was getting closer to the dance club leader, lee chaeryeong, she was accepted in jyp entertainment as a trainee and switched to a school that was closer to the company. she did talk to her classmates, and she knew most of them liked her, but she never tried to form a close bond with any of them.
the reason why? she was scared.
she was scared of getting attached to someone.
she was scared of having them abandon her.
ryujin already went through that in the past, and she couldn’t let it happen again. that’s why she could never have yuna find out about her innocent crush on her, because she was terrified of the idea of yuna leaving her.
yuna was all she had.
yuna was the only person who brought light to her life, and ryujin couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.
as ryujin thought about this on the way back home, her eyes wallowed up with tears. she loved yuna. she loved yuna more than anyone in this world, and couldn’t imagine her days without her.
as soon as she got home, she changed into the bright red hoodie yuna gifted her a year ago, and cuddled her large teddy bear plushie yuna got her on valentine’s day, ignoring the large pile of homework on her desk. she fell asleep as the tears rolled down her face, the single thought of losing yuna was too much for her to bear.

that cold winter afternoon, ryujin had the realization that yuna was her world. she could never lose her.