If you're sleeping are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me
I can't believe you actually picked me
(Blue October "Calling You")
Remus lies awake, sandwiched between his boyfriends. He stares up at the ceiling, spangled with constellations. Logan is the one who put those up. Deceit adds the finishing touches, making each star glow. At first, Remus doesn't know what he could add. Blood spatters and intestine loops are not appropriate, he knows that much.
Finally, he adds the black holes, and cherishes the smile that spreads across Logan's face and the brightness in Deceit's eyes.
"Remus?" Deceit's voice breaks the quiet. "Why are you still awake?" Remus turns to face him, as always captivated by the juxtaposition of his soft, human skin and the cool smoothness of bright, iridescent scales.
"Dunno," he says. "Hey, do you think I could get run over by a train?"
"No," Deceit says. "I wouldn't let you."
"Also, there are no trains in the mindscape," Logan contributes sleepily.
"I could make one," Remus persists. "In the imagination."
"No," Deceit reiterates. One arm comes out and tucks Remus closer to the dishonest side. Despite Deceit being relatively cold-blooded, he feels like a furnace that Remus can happily bask next to. He wonders if Deceit could burn him. That would be interesting. Burns hurt. He knows that from his few attempts at helping Patton cook (he is no longer allowed in the kitchen, after he decided gasoline worked the same as water for cooking pasta).
Logan reaches out, draping an arm over him. He's also warm, and Remus relaxes into the touch with a happy sigh. After so long in the dark recesses of Thomas's consciousness, he knows he's touch-starved. Logan has provided charts and papers, citing this and that study, on both him and Deceit. Remus just tackles him when he can't stop rambling and blames it on needing a hug. He knows Logan sees right through it, but it's all part of the fun.
He doesn't know what they see in him. He's not blind to what the others think. He is messy and loud and intrusive. He's violent- he's been working on it, but it's hard when you're the definition of impulsive. He blurts out the most inappropriate things and he's not ashamed of it. So what if he likes eating lavender-scented deodorant and wearing booty shorts that read "God's mistake" on the ass? He knows he embarrasses his brother, although they've reached an uneasy truce after the last video.
Logan is the last person he thought would like him, after he so cleverly cut him into figurative shreds. But apparently, Remus 'jumped to conclusions' (he still doesn't know where conclusions is, but he bets it's squishy under his shoes), and Logan doesn't hate him after all. Logan, in fact, likes him. He likes the chance to verbally spar with someone, he relates to how ignored Remus feels (and Deceit, for that matter), and-
Well, apparently Remus's shoulder shimmy didn't hurt.
Deceit is easier to understand. After all, dark sides stick together, right? (When you ignore Virgil's defection, that is, and Remus can't think of that too long without wanting to find the emo and tie him to convenient train tracks before running them both over). But Deceit's quiet where Remus is loud, subtle where Remus is blatant- Opposites must attract, that's all Remus can fathom.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Deceit murmurs, producing a penny out of nowhere and dropping it into Remus's hand. His fingers close around it, holding on for dear life.
"I love you," he blurts out. "Both of you."
"What a coincidence," Deceit says. "I just so happen to love you both, too." Logan nuzzles Remus's neck, and Remus can smell eucalyptus from his shampoo.
"And I love you both, but can we please go to sleep now?" The logical side begs. "We were supposed to be asleep three hours ago. We have an early day tomorrow- well, today- and-"
"Yeah, yeah," Remus says, lifting Logan's arm and kissing his knuckles, one by one. Deceit cards his fingers through Remus's hair, the soft tug on his scalp bringing forth a yawn.
"I refuse to actually sing a lullaby, but just pretend I am," Deceit murmurs in his ear.
"I hope you dream of my ass," Remus tells them both. "Just so you know."
"I will hit you with this pillow," Logan threatens. Remus giggles.
He's never felt so loved.