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into the ocean

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Roman was falling.


He hadn't meant to fall and he hadn't meant to get so close to the dark but he had and the wind was whipping against him like a knife and the ocean below him was racing closer every pounding heart beat.


He barely had time to take a breath before he slammed into the water, bubbles rushing up past him as he shot down, down, down. His entire body exploded with pain, because the water was so, so cold that it was burning, and it was burning him and it was burning him.


Roman jerked himself to action and began to swim up, breaking the surface with a gasp, barely getting a breath in before a wave crashed over his head.


It was dark out, not even the moon and stars hiding behind thick rainclouds, not bearing to watch as he fought to tread water, limbs flailing about as he started to sink back into the cold.


Distantly, he remembered that he needed to remain calm, but his heart was slamming in his chest and the waves were pushing him around violently and he couldn't take in any air without it coming with the price of a mouthful of water.


He barely managed to hold onto a breath as he was forced under again by an errant wave, eyes squeezed shut as fear shot through him like a harpoon, and when he opened them he realized that he didn't know which was up and which was down and his lungs burned as he floated through the dark abyss, nothing but pain and his thoughts to greet him.


Roman chest felt like it was going to explode, tight and burning in tune with his skin, and it was like they were trying to make music with the sounds of the underwater and the distant waves. 


After moments of panic, he finally started to move, forcing his cold and achy and in pain body into action as he began to swim to where he thought up was, where he thought the distant crashing and cascading was coming from.


There were a few terrifying moments where he was sure he was swimming towards his doom, heart beating in tune with his thougts, and, and then his head broke the surface. Roman barely managed out a gasp before a mouthful of water came slithering down his throat. He coughed violently, trying to expel it but every time he tried to take in some of his air he just got more water. His body was shivering and his teeth chattered like they were trying to tell the waves to stop so his aching limbs could have a rest.


A wave crashed over his head, pushing him under the surface like a mean older sibling and when Roman resurfaced, it was pouring rain, obscuring his vision, almost as if the sky was crying with him.


Or, perhaps it was the stars, crying fore they couldn't bear to watch helplessly as Roman desperately looked for any sign of land, and maybe the huge waves that started to form was from the moon's tears as it watched him realize that he was going to die, and there was nothing he could do about it.


Tears of his own started to stream down Roman's face, adding to the sorrows that was making the ocean revolt. He fought sobs, still clinging to a tiny flame of hope that maybe the ocean and all their beauty would spare him if he could last long enough.


Alas, this wasn't the light, it was the dark, and as his thoughts swirled and he realized that no one would know that he had died, the sob that had been building up finally escaped him. 


Water rushed to get in through his parted lips as he instinctively tried to gasp in more air, crashing into his lungs silently.


Roman's sides and skin burned brighter than ever as he tried to stay afloat, limbs pulsing in pain with the beat of his heart and the booming of thunder.


His chest was impossibly tight, like Deceit had summoned snake to represent all of Roman's lies and sent it down to crush him slowly.


Roman watched as his last few feeble breaths of air disappeared entirely, gone into the world above him.


It was kind of funny, Roman mused, as spots danced in his vision and his chest tightened even impossibly more as if more snakes had joined the first, that the one thing he needed to live right now was leaving him. Like it was tired of dealing with him.


Roman slowly began to sink down, and his mind screamed at him to move, or do anything but he just couldn't.


Drowning wasn't peaceful, he realized numbly. It was the opposite.


His ears roared in tune with the waves, and bkack spots danced in front of him, and even though he knew was from oxygen loss, Roman's pain filled mind like to think they were water spirits, greeting him as the cold ocean slowly brought him towards their cold but loving embrace, waiting for him at the sandy bottom.


Eventually, Roman's thoughts drifted into the black sea  and all he could think of his was his fellow sides faces, bright and clear. He felt a feeling of loss and regret, bright as the hidden sky, that he hadn't managed to confess.


He began to drift into silence, slipping into the cold nothing, and just before Roman's light was snuffed out in an ocean of pain, he could have sworn he saw something move above him.