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can we?

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The sun shining so bright this morning, and little birds start singing their morning song—signaling that a new day has begun.


Na Jaemin on the other hand, haven’t got any of his sleep since yesterday, still thinking about how is he going to tell his parents about his decisions on living all by himself.


Well, there’s no problem with his father, but his mother—knowing how protective she could get if its about Jaemin’s life, that’s what worry him the most. What if she can’t understand? What if she said no, again?


But it still won’t hurt to try, right?


So, once he got to the kitchen area in his house, watching his mother preparing for their breakfast while singing to her favorite song, he feels grateful for still being able to see this nice view in his every morning. His mother looks happy this morning—well, she does look the same all day, though.


“Hi, Mom.” Jaemin greeted her as he leaned his side on the doorway of their kitchen. She knows it well to who the voice belongs to and quickly turned around to face him, with her sweet smile, “Good morning, sweetheart.” She greeted him back as she wept her hands on the clean towel before walking towards her son, wanting to give him his morning hug.


Jaemin wrapped his arms safely around his mother’s small torso, “Are you in good mood today, Mom?” the younger said when she finally pulled away from their morning hug, not forgetting to give him a kiss on his cheek.


She squinted her eyes at him with a smile following after it, “I’m always in a good mood knowing that my baby is now growing up into a great man.” She chuckled as she walks back towards their kitchen island, where she prepared for their morning tea.


Jaemin can feel that his heart was beating so fast when she mentioned about growing up. He always wanted to show his parents that he can be more than this—he wants to show them that he’s capable to be an independent son. That’s what he always thought about what growing up is. And he’s about to tell them about his life plan today.




Jaemin looks up and find that his mother was already looking at him with a confused look, so he just smiled, “I’m okay, Mom. I’m gonna tell Dad that breakfast is ready.” Jaemin said as he quickly leave the kitchen area before his mother could ask him anything else.


Once the three of them are on their dining table, enjoying their delicious breakfast, Jaemin decided to finally tell them about it right at this moment.


“Uh… Mom, Dad? Can I ask you something?” the younger said with so much nervousness feeling up his chest, making his stomach suddenly not feeling good.


Jaemin’s father was the first one to looking up at him, “Okay, just ask us, Nana.” He said with his smile as he put down his spoon down on his plate, waiting for Jaemin to finally continue with his question.


But not with Jaemin’s mother, though. She keep looking down at her food, she couldn’t really looking up at her son right now. And Jaemin knows that his mother knows.


Jaemin’s father realized his wife’s reaction so he immediately averted his eyes towards her, “Love? You okay?” he asked her worriedly as he hold her hand in his.


She shook her head before finally looking up at her husband and her son, “I know about what you’re gonna ask us, Nana..” She said with her eyes that already tearing up. And Jaemin doesn’t like this. He knows his mother will always reacting like this.


Jaemin gets up from his seat and walked towards his mother’s seat, “Mom, please. I really wanted to prove it to you, I wanted to challenge myself and see how far I can go by myself. Please, Mom, you’re the one who said that I’ve grown up into a great man and it made you happy.” he starts to beg to her as he kneeled next to her. “I really can do this, Mom. You don’t have to be afraid anymore…” he said with his wavering voice.


Jaemin’s mother was still staying silent as she tried to hold back her tears, and so Jaemin’s father gives a light squeeze on her hand, “He’s right, love. He’s old enough to take care of himself. If you want him to always be safe, then you have to have your faith in him. Trust him on this one.” He said softly and when she finally looks up at him, that’s when she starts to cry.


Jaemin was only looking at his mother being embraced by his father, still waiting for her to give him her approval.


Once she’s calmed down, she turned to face her son with her still puffy eyes, “You know why I’m so afraid like this, right, baby?” she said as she cupped Jaemin’s face in her small hands and Jaemin nodded to her words.


“We almost lost you and I don’t want it to ever happen again. How can I feel happy while knowing that you’re not here with me… Its not safe enough to live by yourself—who’s gonna do the laundry for you? How about your breakfast? Who’s gonna make your milk before you go to sleep? What if—“


“Mom,” Jaemin giggled when he can feel that his tears has rolling down over his cheek, “You’re blabbering again.” He said as he wept her tears away from her cheek before wiping his own tears. “I’m planning on to live in my uni’s dorm, so everything is okay. I’ve checked out about it. The dorm is pretty big though, they have their own laundromat, and they also have this canteen for the tenants—its clean, so everything is fine there.” The son said with feeling his hope to get her permission is rising up.


“How about roommate, son?” Jaemin’s father suddenly said and Jaemin froze for a moment—he still didn’t know who’s gonna be his roommate.


“Well, about that,” the boy averted his eyes from his father then back to his mother, “Its random—I mean, the dorm will choose the best one for me. So its gonna be okay.” Jaemin said and when he saw that his mother’s expression is changing again, he panicked, “I’m gonna be okay about roommate! I can really handle any kind of person! Everyone likes me, just like what you always said, remember, Mom? So, don’t worry much about it!” he laughed dryly as she let out a sigh from her mouth and closing her eyes. And Jaemin waits for her answer patiently.


He keep exchanging looks with his father before Jaemin’s mother starts to speak up again, “Okay. Okay, I’ll let you live in your uni’s dorm, but with conditions! First, you have to introduce your roommate to us once you got to know him. Second, you have to at least call me or your dad once in a day. And third, if I ever heard you getting hurt there, you’re gonna be back to live at home—remember that I have Jisung’s number, Na Jaemin. I can ask him just in anytime. Are we clear here?” she said sternly and Jaemin knows he could never complaint to her—not when she finally gives her permission. This is way better than never get a yes from her.


“Thank you! Thank you so much, Mom! I’ll prove it to you guys that I’m able to do this. I can do this!” Jaemin practically throwing himself at his mother and father, giving them the best hug he always have for them.


He finally can starts his new journey now.




A week after the small full of tears event in their dining table, Jaemin is now finally on his way to his dorm. He still can’t believe that he can finally achieved the thing that he always wanted to do from a long time ago.


Once they’ve reached the dorm building, Jaemin and his parents talk to the senior that introduced the dorm to him before, Ten. He’s a transferred student from Thailand that also lives in the dorm, and is one of the seniors that Jaemin pretty close to.


“Sweetheart, are you really sure that everyone in here is good?” Jaemin’s mother starts to ask when Jaemin has finally done taking all of his stuff form the the car.


Ten on the other hand was smiling so charmingly at her, “You don’t have to be worry about anything, Aunty. Its safe here, the dorm staff will always do check up on us at midnight, and all tenants are also pretty close with each other here, so you don’t have to be worry about Jaemin. He’s gonna be okay.” He said so certainly that Jaemin’s mother starts to nodding her head.


“Call me if anything happens, okay?” she said when she’s about to leave the place, giving her son her warmest hug, and Jaemin nodded his head, “You got it, Mom.” He said when he felt a hand landed atop of his head, “Enjoy, okay?” his father said and Jaemin can’t help but laughing at his words. Oh, he’s gonna enjoy his dorm life so much.


Ten was helping Jaemin to bring his stuff to his assigned room. Jaemin can’t help but to look around the hall filled with the other kids talking to each other.


“So, Jaem. I really have to warn you about something, though.” The senior said as they got into the elevator and Jaemin immediately looking at him with full confusion on his face, “About what?” he asked when they’re finally going up to his floor. Ten turned to looking at him, “Your roommate.” He said before finally keeping his mouth shut again and choose to focusing his eyes on numbers of the floor that showing on the small screen in front of them.


“What about him?”


Once they’ve reached their destination, the older walks out from the elevator in silence and Jaemin follows him quickly, until the older suddenly stopped on his spot, and Jaemin suddenly feel nervous again. 


He turned around and gives Jaemin his worried look, “You better not talk to him if its not really necessary. Don’t look at him in the eyes. Don’t ever try to get involved with this one.” Ten said quickly before he proceed to lead both of them again towards Jaemin’s assigned room.


Jaemin tried to catch up with the older’s step but he stopped again when they’ve finally arrived at one door at the end of the hallway. Oh, this must be it.


“Can you at least explain to me, Ten?” Jaemin said and Ten immediately shushing him in panic, “You’ll know about it by yourself, Jaem! Since you come to the dorm late, this is the only room that has no roommate and the dorm staff have to assigned you to this one. I tried my best, alright? Don’t be mad at me, okay?” the older whispers in one breathe as he gave Jaemin his puppy look.


Jaemin shook his head, “Ten, don’t worry, okay? I’ll be fine.” He smiled at him as he averted his eyes towards the door, “So, this is my room?” he asked and Ten nodded his head slowly.


Jaemin then started to knocks on the door and Ten straighten up his position, getting ready to whatever that will come from that door.


But there’s still no answer from the inside and so Jaemin starts to knock on the door again, “Hello? Can you open the door, please? I’m your new roommate.” Jaemin said it close to the door and Ten slowly taking a few steps back and wait for the door to open up.


And not too long after that, Jaemin can hear the door was being unlocked, so he took a step back as well, surprisingly felt a little nervous.


The roommate was hiding behind the door, and all Jaemin can see was hair that stuck out between the door’s gap, but not with the face, so Jaemin slightly pushed the door open to see who’s that behind this door.


“Jaemin, don’t—”


“What the fuck do you want?” the boy from the room said as he looked up at Jaemin with not so friendly look—red eyes, messy hair, those deep frown—but Jaemin tried to shook his bad feelings away, “Hi! I’m your new roommate! My name is Jaemin and I think that—”


“I don’t need one. Fuck off.” was the ‘roommate’s’ last words before shutting the door close right in front of Jaemin’s face.


“Jaemin…” Ten called his name and Jaemin turned around to look at him, still feeling so hurt by his roommate’s attitude towards him, “That’s—I’m going to make him regret doing that to me!” he said as he turned to looking at the door in front of him again and reach to the door’s knob, “Whether you like it or not, I’m gonna live in this room too!” Jaemin said as he opened the thankfully unlocked door.


The boy inside the room was still having his back on Jaemin, “Look, I don’t know what your problem is but I don’t care, okay? I paid for the room so I have the rights to stay here! Do you understand me?” Jaemin said with Ten trying to hold him back.


And the roommate was keeping his mouth shut so Ten tried to interfere the two of them, “Uh, Jeno, listen. He’s a new kid, so, please just let him be, okay?” he said nervously as Jaemin keep trying to shoved him away. And that time, Jeno finally turned around and face both of them with a small smirk on his face, “So, you’re a new kid, huh?” he said as he looking at Jaemin before finally proceed to sit on the couch.


Jaemin stays silent, watching the older boy as he crossed his arms over his chest.


“Alright, then. You can stay, but lets see how long can you stay here, in my room.” He said as he reach out his hand towards Jaemin, “I’m Lee Jeno, same year as Ten and his boyfriend, Johnny. He might have told you about me, right?” the black hair boy said, and the Thai guy quickly nods his head.


Jaemin welcoming his hand in a lazy attitude, “Yeah, whatever, dude. You do you, I won’t disturb you so you better do the same for me.” He said before taking his hand off quickly from their awkward handshake.


“Sure, lets do that, then.”




Jaemin was reading his book in his room while Jeno was laying on the couch while watching whatever it was played on the tv in their small living room when they heard knocks on their front door. Jaemin was the first one to open the door for the guest, which turned out to be his friend, Jisung.


“You finally come!” the blonde said excitedly as he pulled the taller boy into a tight hug. Jisung welcomed his hug as he pats Jaemin’s back, “So, how’s your dorm life so far?” he asked when Jaemin finally pulled away from the hug.


Hearing to what Jisung ask him just now make him rolled his eyes, “Its only been a day—not even one full day, Ji! But I enjoyed it so far.” He lied and Jisung knows. He always knows how Jaemin is.


“Who’s your roommate, though? You haven’t told me and Lele about him.” Jisung as he leaned his side on the doorway, crossing his arms casually, trying to take a look into his friend’s dorm.


Jaemin shook his head, “Oh, you wouldn’t want to know.” He said and they can immediately heard Jeno’s fake cough from their small living room.


Jisung walks into the room and saw Jeno was already looking at him with his cold eyes, so that he walks back to where Jaemin is with a terrified look, “Lee-Lee Jeno?” he whispered to the older and Jaemin just nodded his head lazily.


This is somehow a funny situation if Jisung would want to say, but he rather not saying it out loud to Jaemin, but he laughs anyway. “What’s so funny?” Jaemin pouted as he slap his friend’s arm slightly when he saw him laughing without him knowing the reason—or he actually knows. 


Jisung shook his head as he tried to calmed himself down before giving Jaemin a pat on his head, “I just can’t imagine how you felt right now, Nana. Bet you regret it for wanting to live in this dorm.” He nods his chin at Jaemin and the latter scoffed at him, “One shitty guy can never stop me, Ji. I can do this.” He answered and Jisung’s immediately softened at that.


He always getting amazed by Jaemin’s positivity, he always try to think from the brighter side, and he’s also such a kind and caring one too—he cares for everyone that he knows. And maybe that’s what made him fall for him.


Jisung put his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder before went up and placed his hand on Jaemin’s cheek, “You know that you can always find me or Lele if you have any problems, right? We’re always here for you—I’m always here for you, Jaem.” He said as he gave soft strokes on Jaemin’s cheek.


Jaemin nodded his head as he looked up at Jisung, “I know. You’ve always been there since the beginning, Ji.” he smiled and Jisung can’t help but to give a kiss on Jaemin’s soft cheek, “You better get some rest now. Good night, Nana. Sweet dreams.” He said before he finally took his leave from the place.


“What a couple.” Jeno’s voice was heard and Jaemin turned around immediately after he closes the front door. “He’s my friend.” Jaemin answered without even looking at the older as he proceed to go to his room.


“Well, seems like he have feelings for you.” The older said, scoffing after that. Jaemin turned around again when reached his door, “You know nothing about my friend, so shut the fuck up. Besides, what did you even know about liking someone? You doesn’t seem like someone who have a heart.” Jaemin snapped and that’s when Jeno looks at him with those cold eyes, again.


He got up from the couch and walked towards Jaemin, “You know nothing about me, so shut the fuck up, kid.” He said as he pointed out his finger at Jaemin before finally going to his own room, not forgetting to slam the door.


“Such a jerk.” Jaemin breathe out harshly as he went to his room, making their small living room cold again.



So, day 1? Nah, not really good.


Chapter Text

“Oh, Mr. Na? Its so rare to see you coming late to my class.” was all Jaemin heard coming from his professor before he starts apologizing to her as he went to any empty seat at the back.


While the class were still focusing on what the professor was teaching them right now, Jaemin’s mind was still somewhere out there, thinking about this things that happens this morning will never happened if only Jeno doesn’t start to acting up like the usual. Its just so strange that it took really long for Jaemin to get close to the older boy while he usually will get close to anyone in just one day—just like when he met Chenle the first time in high school.


Its been exactly one month that they’ve lived in the same room, but the older boy still can’t bring himself to be the mature one here. While Jaemin himself had tried everything for Jeno, though. He tried to be just as nice as he could to him, he gives the older boy the space that he needs, he even bought some food for the older boy, which was left uneaten the next morning.


So, things that happened this morning—well, everything started when Jeno begun to rant on Jaemin again, saying that Jaemin is too loud and everything that ruined his morning. While Jaemin himself also didn’t get a really good sleep last night, and that’s why they starts bickering again—throwing curses at each other, until Jaemin forgotten that he’s already running late to his morning class.


Once the class has dismissed, Jaemin immediately went to the canteen to see his friends. Thankfully they have different class this morning—those two, Jisung and Chenle, will laughing at him the second they saw Jaemin entering the class this morning if they’re in the same class.


They’re still eating peacefully when Chenle tapped the tip of his finger on the table, trying to gained Jaemin’s attention, “Is everything okay, Nana? You doesn’t look good since the first second I saw you entering this place.” he asked between his chews, and Jaemin immediately nodding his head before shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth.


Once his mouth was free from the food, he speaks up, “I just can’t understand why is that jerk being such a pain in the ass like that—its not like he’s the only one who have problems! I do too!” he said as he moved his spoon in the air—pointing here and there—and Jisung who sat next to Chenle was nodding to each other—its definitely because of Jeno.


Chenle took Jaemin’s hand and giving it a light squeeze, “Jaem, just so you know, I actually went to the same middle school as Jeno, and back then, I remember that Jeno is a sweet person—you can ask my Kun gege about it if you don’t believe me,” He smiled when he saw that Jaemin was looking at him in disbelief, “Let me show you something, wait a minute.” He said before he took his phone out from his pocket and scrolling over his social media account.


His eyes were focusing on one page and when he found what he was looking for, he raised his brows as he looking at the boy who sit across him, “Look at this!” he showed Jaemin a picture of Jeno from a year ago.


Jaemin took the phone and looking at the picture closely. He could see there’s a picture of Jeno smiling so widely in the picture and—well, not gonna lie, but Jeno looks better like this, Jaemin thought. And then he averted his eyes and realized that next to Jeno, there’s a pretty girl linking her arm with Jeno’s. She’s wearing a cute top and a miniskirt with her straight hair fall beautifully on her shoulders. They looked so happy, they looked so good for each other.


Chenle pointing at his phone, “That girl was Jeno’s ex, and I’ve heard there’s rumor about their break up.” He said when Jaemin finally handed him his phone back. And it wakes Jaemin’s curiosity up. What kind of a break up that turned Jeno into someone so different like that, though? “What’s happening to them?” he asked as he averted his eyes towards Jisung who’s also looking at him confusedly.


Chenle looks around before he finally speak up again, “People said that Jeno cheated on her, saying he doesn’t find the fun when he’s dating her. They also said that he’s like the face of every player in our school, who loves to play with girls’ heart, including his own girlfriend.” The orange-haired boy said as he let out a sigh, “And after that, people started to say bad things about him, throwing false rumors here and there. And he actually knows about it but he just shrugged it off, you know.” he added and Jaemin nodded his head, understanding the story.


“How about his ex? Where’s she?” Jaemin asked again as he felt that Jisung was still looking at him, but he tried to ignore it. Chenle was thinking for a moment before he opens up his mouth again, “She disappear, just like the wind. She left him without a single word.” The orange-haired boy said, propped up his chin on his hand, “And since then, Jeno just—it broke him so much, he starts to shut people out of his life—he walks away from everyone.”


Jaemin doesn’t know how to react to this kind of story, because he never really thought that someone that’s close to him had to experience something so awful like that. But Jeno isn’t someone that he’s close to, though? So why would he felt sad for him?


Jaemin tried to shrugged his feelings off but he just can’t, “But he doesn’t have to be, like, being mean to me, though?” Jaemin pouted and Chenle just smiled at him, “Just give him some space, Jaem. He’ll get better soon, trust me.” He said as he gave the blonde boy a wink and got a light slap on his arm from Jisung.


And when he was about to continue to eat his food, Jaemin received a call from his mother and he starts to sigh again, and Chenle and Jisung know what’s that means. “If Aunty ask about your roommate again, just tell her that he’s dead, Nana.” Jisung laughed and now its Chenle’s turn to gave him a slap at the back of his head.


“You hate him that much, huh?” Chenle said as he send Jisung his death glare and Jisung just shrugged his shoulders, but then he pointed his finger at Chenle, “Why don’t you ever tell any of us that you know Jeno?” he asked as he squinted his eyes at the Chinese boy, but the latter just shrugged his shoulder back at Jisung.


Ignoring the other two, Jaemin put his phone close to his ear, “Hi, Mom.” He finally answering the call and he can already hear his mother rambling things again. “You didn’t call me last night!” she said and Jaemin gives Jisung a look, “I was hanging out with Jisung last night, and when I arrived at dorm I just kinda fall asleep…” he lied and prayed in his heart that his mother will buy that.


You’re not lying to me right now, right, Nana?” his mother said again and Jaemin shook his head instantly, “No! No I’m not, Mom!” he said and Jisung immediately took the phone from his hand and place it on his ear, “Good afternoon, Aunty! This is Jisung speaking~” he said with a cute tone which made Jaemin and Chenle giving him a disbelief look.


Jisung was talking with Jaemin’s mother—trying to explaining things to her. “I’ll take care of him for you, so you don’t have to be worried, Aunty.” He said and smiled at Jaemin before soon the call was finally cut off.


“You really are good at lying, aren’t you?” Chenle said and Jisung was only giving him his cocky smile before giving the phone back to the owner.


And just like a destined thing, when the three of them were still talking to each other in the canteen, Jaemin saw a familiar face entering the canteen, he was right there, with a smile on his face. A smile that shows his genuine feeling, a smile that is capable to make things around him slowing down and him become the only thing that got into Jaemin’s focus. That beautiful eye-smile.


That’s another surprise for Jaemin—he never ever see that kind of smile from the older boy before. Well, of course he never saw it, all they did this whole time is just bickering and ignoring one another. They never really tried to get to know about each other.


Jeno wasn’t alone, though. He was being accompanied by his friends, that Jaemin also knows pretty well, Renjun and Donghyuck.


Donghyuck is Jaemin’s childhood friend—they lived pretty close, enough to reach by within walking distance—and for Renjun, he knows him since the day Renjun starts to come along every time Jaemin hangs out at Donghyuck’s place, that’s when Jaemin entered the same high school as they are.


Jaemin was keep looking at the three of them until one of the three—Donghyuck—realized that Jaemin was looking at them and so he waved his hand at him with a wide smile, and soon the other two were looking at Jaemin too.


Renjun’s reaction is just the same as Donghyuck, while Jeno was only looking at Jaemin with his cold expression. The younger tried to be the nice one here so he smiled at Jeno and he can see that Jeno was surprised at first before he replies him with a single nod and looking away from the younger boy.


Jeno’s might be not really that bad…


When the three of them finally walks away, Jaemin called for the Chinese boy, “Hey, Lele?” he still has his eyes at the other direction and Chenle raised his brows at him. It took a few seconds for Jaemin to turn from looking at the older boy who finally disappeared among the crowds in the canteen to looking at the orange-haired boy, “Maybe I really need to get to know about him.” He confessed and Chenle gives him a wide smile, but not with Jisung, though.




Jaemin was back to the dorm building pretty late that night, he forgot about the night time limit when he hangs out with friends. But thankfully the dorm staff wasn’t so strict that night and they’re willing to let Jaemin go just like that, knowing that this was his first mistake, so they just gave him a warn and with that, he’s free from any kind of penalty.


As he was arriving at his door, Jaemin starts to prepare some scenario inside his head about how he was gonna greet the older boy later. “Okay, I can do this. When I get in and saw him in the living room, lets just give him this and walks back into my room—no, no, not like that. Lets say, ‘Jeno, I hope you’ll like this, I—’ no, the fuck? It sounds like I was about to confess to him!” he blabbering again before he finally gives up with it and just go with the flow, “Alright. Lets do this.”


He brace himself as he’s looking at his dorm’s door, “Here goes nothing....” He let out a deep breath from his mouth before finally opening the door.


When he opened the door, all he can see was their dark and small living room being illuminated vaguely by the tv’s light. And he can see someone’s silhouette on the couch which Jaemin believes as Jeno. And somehow, Jaemin is thankful for that. If Jeno was awake, its gonna be a little hard for Jaemin to give the older boy this small gift that he had prepared for him.


He walks very carefully, trying to not to making any kind of sound, towards the couch and looking at Jeno who sleeps so peacefully, showing the other side of him—he looks like a baby when he sleeps, “If only you’re not so meanie, Lee Jeno.” Jaemin mumbled as he stuck out his tongue at the older boy before finally walking towards their small fridge and put the cake that he bought before at the café near their building and with a piece of paper atop of the box.


I’m sorry for what happened today.
This is me offering my peace to you.


And the younger boy just went straight into his room after that, getting ready to get a nice rest after his tiring day.


Once he heard that Jaemin’s door was locked, Jeno slowly opened up his eyes and sat up on the couch, “Why is he so loud…” he mumbled as he get up from the couch and walking towards the fridge to looking at what Jaemin had brought just now.


He saw the box and immediately take it out again from their fridge when he saw there’s a paper atop of it. He reads it and he can feel that a smile was creeping up on his lips, and his heart surprisingly feel just light and warm—he’s happy.


He opened the box and he can see that there’s a slice of his favorite cheesecake. Another surprise.


“Well, thanks, I guess.”




The next day when he wakes up from his sleep, it was surprisingly quiet and Jaemin is thankful for that—he really needs it. Seems like Jeno already went to campus since early in the morning. And another luck for Jaemin for having a zero schedule that day, so he can enjoy his Jeno-Free time in their dorm. Finally.


He walks out from his room and found the living room was all neat and clean, the cushions were all set on the couch. “I wonder what’s happening to that old guy...” He mumbled as he walked towards the bathroom and do his morning routine.


When he was about to go back to his room again, he suddenly remember about the cake from last night. He decided to check on it and when he opened the fridge, he could see the box was still there, but with a different color of paper that he placed last night.


He took the paper and read it carefully (even though there’s not much words that were written there).


Thank you. I left some for you.


Jaemin can feel the warmth spreading inside his chest that it made him smiled widely as he folded the paper, “Ah, so cheesecake, huh?” he laughed, not forgetting to put the paper into his pocket and take his phone out right after it, looking through his contact list. And he remembers that he still don’t have Jeno’s number. “I should ask him later..” he reminding himself and decided to call Jisung and Chenle to come over to his room. And thankfully the two of them are agreeing to come.


When Jisung has finally arrived, Chenle suddenly saying that he’s not gonna come because his father suddenly wants him to come to his office. “Sorry, Nana. This is really all of sudden, but my Dad really needs me in the office, so, maybe next time?” the latter said from the other line and Jaemin just nodded to that, “Its okay, Lele! Ah, send my greetings for your Dad and Kun gege, though! Its been a long time since the last time I saw them.” Jaemin smiled at those memories of him hanging out in Chenle’s house with Jisung.


Sure, Nana. You too, have fun with Ji!” Chenle said before he cuts off the call.


They sat next to each other on Jaemin’s bed, with Jaemin leaning his back on the headboard while Jisung was preparing the movie for both of them on Jaemin’s laptop. “So, it’s only the two of us, again?” Jisung said as he went back to his previous position and Jaemin nodded his head to Jisung’s words, “Unfortunately, Ji. Its you and me again on this ride.” He pouted and he can see that Jisung starts to scrunching up his nose at Jaemin’s words—that’s cute.


As the movie was started to play, Jisung can’t help but to keep thinking about Jaemin’s head on his shoulder and their linked arms, while Jaemin himself was having his eyes focusing on the movie—having no idea just how nervous Jisung is right now.


“Hey, Ji, why are you being so quiet?” the blonde asked suddenly as he looks up at the latter and found Jisung was already looking away from him.


Jaemin immediately pausing the movie and move to looking at Jisung properly, “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you sick or something?” he asked as he took and hold Jisung’s hand close to his chest.


Jisung can feel the heat on his neck was riding up to his cheeks right now so he just shook his head and tried to looking at Jaemin with a small smile on his lips, “N-no, I’m okay, really, Nana.” He said when he felt the knot on his stomach just won’t calmed down.


Still being so clueless, Jaemin moved even closer, “You sure?” Jaemin asked again as he placed his palm on his friend’s forehead just to make sure on his body’s temperature and Jisung just nodded his head really quickly, “I’m—yes, I’m totally fine!” He answered and Jaemin decided to just let it slid this time and continuing to watch the movie.


Having Jaemin being so close to him like this is not so helping right now, but he just tried to hold himself back. Jisung really have to hold himself if he doesn’t want to ruin their beautiful friendship that they’ve built for so long.


Once they’re done with their movie and which were being accompanied by their late night snack, Jisung decided to go back to his own dorm before Jaemin’s roommate finally coming back.


“Thank you for today, Ji!” Jaemin said as he gave the latter a hug and Jisung gladly returned the same gesture to Jaemin. When they pulled away, Jisung was keep staring at the blonde boy and Jaemin gets all confused because of it, “What is it now, Park Jisung?” he asked and Jisung immediately cupping his face in his hands, “Be careful, okay?” he said and Jaemin nods his head like a little kid which made the younger chuckled.


The taller smiles at him as he gave him soft strokes on his cheek, “You really are something, you know.” He said, unconsciously eyeing the older’s lips and back to his eyes again, “Jaem, you’re beautiful.” He said and Jaemin shook his head, “Stop saying sweet things to me, Jisung! This isn’t like you.” Jaemin pouted at him, “You’ve been pretty strange these days.” He said before hugging the younger boy again.


They stayed like that for a moment before Jaemin starts to talk, “Thank you for always being here with me. Thank you for never leaving my side.” Jaemin’s words were muffled between Jisung’s clothes and Jisung tightening the hug just to make Jaemin laughed again. Jisung likes it for having Jaemin so close to him like this.


Once the older pulled away from their heart-warming hug, Jisung quickly cupped Jaemin’s face on his hands again. The blonde boy was only looking at him with his soft smile and it doesn’t help at all—Jisung just can’t hold it anymore. This is too much already for his heart.


So, he moved his eyes towards Jaemin’s lips once again before leaning in towards the latter and with a quick move he gives him a kiss, but this one is different from their other kisses. This kiss was a kiss on the lips and Jaemin can feel that feelings were involved in Jisung’s kiss.


When Jisung finally pulled away from him, he was just standing there, looking at Jaemin in shock.


What happened to the motto “don’t ruin your friendship for your stupid crush”? Oh shit!” he cursed himself inside his head.


Jisung knows that he has crossed the line, but when he was about to apologize to Jaemin, someone’s cough surprised both of them that it made them to looking at the direction where the noise come from.


Its Jeno, and Jaemin immediately hold Jisung’s hand, with his reddening cheeks, “Y-you better get back to your room now, Ji. We can talk later.” he said with a small smile and Jisung nervously nodded his head before finally leaving Jaemin on his spot—not even looking at Jeno.


Jaemin left the door open for Jeno and when he was about to go to his room, Jeno‘s voice could be heard from behind. “He’s definitely has feelings for you, kid.” He said as he closed the front door of their dorm.


Jaemin turned around and looking at the older boy with a frown on his forehead, “What do you mean?” he asked as he could feel his cheeks were heating up. Jaemin’s still trying to denying the truth that was right in front of his eyes.


Jeno shrugged his shoulders at the younger’s question, “I’m not blind okay? I saw the two of you kissing just now, Jaemin.” He said as he sat on the couch and Jaemin shook his head, “We’re just friends!” he answers and Jeno shook his head as he looks up at Jaemin, “Friends don’t kiss like that, kid.” He said with a smirk on his face—he really knows how to make the younger get pissed at him—and immediately gets up from the couch and was about to go to the bathroom.


Jaemin was so upset at the fact that Jeno act like he knows everything when he’s definitely are just clueless about his own relationship. “Then tell me about this relationship thingy if you know so much about it.” he snapped but Jeno just keep walking away from him and so Jaemin tried to stop him by pulling his arm, “Tell me about you and your ex, Jeno.” He said.


Jeno turned to looking at him as he raised an eyebrow at him, and Jaemin continued to talk, “I heard rumors about you and your ex, but I really need to know it all from you, so that—”


“All of those rumors are true, Jaemin. All of it was real.” Jeno answered coldly and somehow it still doesn’t feel so right there for Jaemin. It feels like Jeno was admitting to a crime that he doesn’t even capable of doing so.


And before Jaemin can ask anything else, Jeno has finally got Jaemin’s hand off of him and left to his room, leaving Jaemin with a guilty feelings lingering around him.


Chapter Text

Jaemin was still thinking about how to make the older boy to talk to him about what’s really happening with him in the past. He knows that there’s something that Jeno hide from him. He have this feeling that the rumors about Jeno was all not true—Jeno could never do that, right?


Jaemin was sitting on his usual spot with Jisung and Chenle in the library, he was supposed to be only accompanying the two to do their paper but then Jaemin decided to fix the notes that he took on his class before on his notebook.


It doesn’t turns out awkward, surprisingly, for both Jaemin and Jisung after what happened last night. Jisung acted like nothing’s happened and so Jaemin does the same too. He doesn’t want to make the younger feels like he was at fault. He doesn’t want Jisung to feel bad at him. He wants both of them to be okay.


But sooner or later, they really have to talk it out, right? Jaemin need to clear things up so that Jisung can finally have his answer too.


Jaemin was so busy with his deep-thought that he doesn’t realize Jeno and Donghyuck’s arrival, and which they choose to sit close to where Jaemin was seated with his friends right now.


Chenle who sat next to Jaemin was the first one who recognized their presence and so he quickly tapped the back of Jaemin’s hand, which surprised the latter, “What is it, Lele?” he moved closer as he’s looking at him, whispering to the Chinese boy.


The younger pointing out his forefinger towards Jeno’s direction and so Jaemin followed to where his finger was pointing at. When he finally saw him, Jaemin raised his brows at Chenle—demanding an answer from him and so Chenle close his eyes in frustration, “Have you talk with him?” he asked with a tiny voice—don’t want to get into trouble for making noises here, don’t we?—as he keep stealing glances at Jeno who’s focusing on a book in front of him.


Jaemin shook his head as he averted his eyes towards Jisung, and when he caught the younger was already looking at him, he looked away as he felt his cheeks getting warm again, “Y-yeah, I tried to talk with him but Jeno just—I don’t know, Lele. It seems like he doesn’t want to talk about it—yet.” Jaemin pouted and Chenle looking at him with wide eyes, “Do you asked him, like, straight away?” he asked again and Jaemin nodded his head innocently.


“Unbelievable!” Chenle said a little bit too loud and he immediately got shushed by people around them, and it also gained Jeno and Donghyuck’s attention. “Keep it low, jeez!” Jisung shook his head at Chenle, “Lets focus on our paper, okay? Or just, let me focus on mine.” He said as he averted his eyes towards the blonde boy, “You too, Jaem.” He added, and when he was looking at Jaemin, it was clear that he was pissed off. So Jaemin just nodded his head with a small pout on his lips.


When Jaemin was looking at Jeno, he found that the older was already looking at him. And somehow when their eyes met, it is success on making Jaemin’s heart stops beating for a moment—no, don’t misunderstand him, everyone. He was just surprised.





Jaemin decided to wave his hand towards Jeno and the older answers him by rising up his brows before giving him a confused look. Seeing that kind of reaction from Jeno, Jaemin just smiled at him as he shook his head. And so Jeno just looked away from him, again.


To think of it, Jaemin and Jeno had never really hangs out, not even in their campus. They acted like they don’t know each other—actually it was Jeno who acts like that while Jaemin is still trying to be nice to the older boy.


So suddenly, Jaemin came up with an idea inside his head. He giggled to himself that it made Chenle and Jisung curious, “Jaem? You okay? Do we have to take you to a doctor or something?” Chenle asked in his humorless tone and Jaemin looks at both of them with a small pout, before finally laughed again, “Oh, please. Let me live, Zhong Chenle.” He smiled cheekily as he shoved the Chinese boy.


Lets just hope that things will finally work out for them after this.




Once their last class is finally done for the day, Jaemin immediately running out from his class, not even waiting for Jisung and Chenle—saying that he’ll explain to his friends later on their group chat.


He was heading towards Jeno’s class right now. And why is that? You’ll see.


Once Jaemin was sure about where Jeno’s class were—he remembered about hearing Jeno saying that he’s having calculus class today at the same building as Jaemin is—he waits for the older’s class to end.


He sat on the long chair that’s not too far from the class, so when he saw that the door was opened and students were coming out one by one, then group by group, he gets up from his seat and coming towards the door.


The blonde boy was getting the unwanted attention from the girls who just got out from the class and they started to ask him things, which he just answered with, “I’m here waiting for my roommate.” He even gives them an apologetic smile when they ask him for his number, but those girls were still surrounding him.


“Jaemin?” a voice that belongs to the person that Jaemin has waited for was finally heard and Jaemin immediately looking up at him with a small smile, but the latter’s face was only showing less expression—its okay, Jaemin is used to that already.


The girls that were first looking at Jaemin with their sweet smiles now turned to looking at the person who stands right behind them, and they immediately walks away when they know who it was.


“Hi, Jeno.” The younger greeted him, but Jeno response him as he rolled his eyes at him before he walks away from the younger boy.


“Jeno, wait!” Jaemin called for him as he tried to catch up with the older’s step, “Lets get back to our dorm together!” he added once he’s finally right behind Jeno.


The older boy stopped instantly which made Jaemin do the same thing. “What did you say?” was all Jeno said once he turned to looking at Jaemin with frown on his forehead.


Jaemin was only giving him an awkward grin before he finally talk again, “You know, we never, like, hang out or anything—”


“And I want to keep it that way.” Jeno cuts him off and Jaemin gives him a pout, “You’re so meanie! I want to be your friend too!” he whined when he saw Jeno starts to walked away again.


This can’t be happening right now. He just wants his plan to work—


Why is it so hard just to be your friend, Jeno?!


“You can’t be my friend, kid. You better go home now.” Jeno said as he takes turn to the back of their building—towards the parking lot.


Jaemin was surprised when he saw Jeno unlocking his car, “Wow, I never knew you drive a car here, too. Our dorm is pretty close, though? ” The younger mumbled as he tightening his grip on his bag strap, still walking right behind Jeno.


Jeno shook his head as he opened his car’s door, “I’m going back to my house for a few days. You can have the dorm for you alone while I’m gone.” He answered as he gives Jaemin a nod before he gets into the car and started the car.


“Hey, can we like drive to the city and—”


“Jaemin, whatever you’re planning right now, believe me, it won’t work.” He smiled bitterly at the younger boy before he finally left Jaemin all alone in the parking lot.




“Hey, Lele?” the brown-haired boy said once the call was being picked up by the other line. He lets out a sigh when he heard there’s no voice coming out from the latter. He’s been expecting this to happen but still—


It’s hurt.


What is it, Jisung?” the latter sounds sad, and Jisung understand why. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I hurt you, but you also know about it, right?” the younger said as he could feel that his heart was tightening when he heard sniffles coming from the other line.


I’ll hang up now.” The Chinese boy said softly, and without even waiting for Jisung’s response, he cuts off the call.


Jisung was sitting limply on his study desk, looking at his phone screen, still thinking about what’s just happened with him and Chenle. That was really unexpected.


He was about to put his phone down on his desk when he heard knocks on his door.


As he gets up from where he were seated, he received a text, from the person that he’s been waiting for.



can we talk? [8.20 PM]



[09.44 PM] open the door, ji


The younger immediately running out from his room and opened it for the older boy. And he saw Jaemin there with his sweet smile and foods in his hands, “Since I know that you’re always hungry, I brought you food, Jisungie!” he said as he gets into the younger’s dorm.


“Where’s your roommate?” Jaemin said as he placed the food atop of the small fridge, before sitting down on the long couch.


“Taeyong is still hanging out with his friends, I think?” Jisung said as he proceed to sit next to Jaemin. They just sat there with a thick silence surrounding them. And so Jaemin decided that he is the one who’ll finally started this conversation, “Do you wanna talk about it now, Ji?” he smiled softly at the younger boy as he turned to looking at him.


Jisung was only looking at him with a shy smile as he shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know how to start, though…” he mumbled as he rubs his not so sweaty hands on his jeans.


“What do you think of us? What are we, Jisung?” Jaemin started it for the younger and he can see that Jisung was blushing really hard when heard Jaemin’s question.


The brown-haired boy just shows him a small pout, “W-we’re friends…” he said uncertainly as he gave Jaemin his awkward grin.


Jaemin hold the younger’s hand in his, “So, why’d you kiss me that night? What is that mean?” he asked carefully and when he feel that Jisung was about to pull his hand from him, he tightening the hold and hugged his hand in front of his chest, “Don’t run away from me, Ji..” he said.


Jisung was only looking at him with this unreadable expression before he let out a sigh, “Why is this happening to me now…” he mumbled which was heard by Jaemin, but he just try not thinking much about it.


“Nana,” the younger called his name and Jaemin straighten up his position, still with the same smile that he always have for Jisung.


You’re only making it worst, Nana…



“I like you, for so long already.”



When Jaemin has arrived on his floor, he could see that someone was sitting right in front of his door. He thought it was Jeno at first, but it turns out to be his best friend, Chenle.


“Hi, cutie guy, what are you doing here?” he asked in a cute way but when he saw that the boy was crying, he immediately run towards him and kneel right in front of the boy, “What’s happening to you, Lele?” he asked as he wrapped his fingers on Chenle’s wrist.


The Chinese boy, without answering Jaemin’s question, throwing himself at Jaemin, hugging him tightly and cried even harder.


Once they got into Jaemin’s dorm, Jaemin let the younger boy to go to his room while he get a drink for him.


Jaemin sat on the edge of his bed, while Chenle was laying there with his back on Jaemin.


“Hey, do you want to talk about it, Lele?” Jaemin asked as he gives soft caresses on his back, and the boy just shook his head, “I just want to get some rest, Na…” he said softly as he wipe the tears that keep streaming down on his cheeks.


Jaemin nodded his head understandingly, “Okay, we’ll talk about it when you’re ready, alright?” he smiled when the younger turned to face him with his puffy eyes, stretching out his hand towards the older boy.


“You’re such a baby.” The blonde smiled softly at him when he finally laying on his bed next to Chenle and the latter instantly wrapping his arm around Jaemin’s waist, hiding his face on his chest—continuing his cries.


While Jaemin was drowned into his own mind, he heard the soft snores coming from the boy inside his arms—after almost an hour, he finally fall into his sleep.


Jaemin was looking at him with a sad smile on his face as he strokes the younger’s cheek softly with the back of his fingers, “I’m sorry, Lele…”



The next day, when morning comes, Chenle decided to head back to his house after having breakfast with Jaemin. He told the older boy that he’ll took a day off from every classes for that day and ask Jaemin if he could take notes from their classes today which Jaemin replied with a warm hug, “You can count on me, Lele!” that’s what he said.


And so, that’s decided, that Jaemin is all alone today. There’s no Chenle and no Jisung today. Both of them wants to heal themselves first before they see each other again, that’s what Jaemin thought.


Jaemin was hanging out all by himself in the canteen when Donghyuck come to his table.


“Can I sit here?” the older ask when Jaemin was still so busy with the game on his phone. Once he looks up from his phone, Jaemin just smiled at him and nods his head.


Donghyuck proceed to sit across the younger boy as he keep watching what Jaemin was doing right now—back on his game.


“Its been long, don’t you think?” Jaemin said so suddenly that Donghyuck couldn’t really catch it at first, “What is it, Jaem?” he asked and Jaemin looks up at him again as he locked his phone, “Its been so long since the last time we sit close to each other, right, Hyuckie?” he smiled and Donghyuck was surprised, but he gives the younger boy a smile before he finally eat his food in silence.


“How was your leg?” the younger asked again and Donghyuck shook his head, “Its fine, don’t worry.” He answered with a small smile on his face. He’s agitated and Jaemin knows why.


“My mom doesn’t know that you’re also in this campus, Hyuck.” The younger said and Donghyuck just nod his head silently.


“How is she doing, though, Nana?” Donghyuck asked as he put his tray aside and scooted closer as his chest was against the table.


The younger just shrugged his shoulders, “She’s just fine, just got a little over protective about me—oh Hyuck, you don’t know how hard it was for me to convince her so that she’ll let me to live in the dorm!” Jaemin chuckled to the thought his Mother keep saying no to his plan back then.


“Its understandable, Nana. She almost lost you—we almost lost you, and its my fault that I—”


“Hyuck, stop saying its your fault. Its no one’s fault, alright? You got hurt because of it, too.” Jaemin said sternly and Donghyuck was only giving him a small smile before he nods to his words.


“And him? Any news about him?” the older ask again and Jaemin can feel his chest tightening as he shook his head.


“I still don’t know where he is—even until today, Hyuck.”



Jaemin decided to coming back to his house and crash the night there. Dorm is suddenly feel so empty without Jeno there. And he doesn’t know why he was feeling that way.


“I’m so happy that my baby is back to this house, even only for a night, but still! Mommy is so happy, Nana!” was all that Jaemin heard from his mother when she opened the door for her lovely son.


While Jaemin was changing into his pajama, his mind was still wondering around—about his past.


His mind is coming back to that day when the one he loves so much decided to leave him. When he felt his heartbroken for the very first time in his life, he’s a 17 years old boy at that time. And when that accident happened.


“Nana?” his mother’s voice wakes him up from his mind and so Jaemin turned to looking at her with his sweet smile, “Dinner is ready, honey. Come on.” She reach her hand out to him and he took her hand in his as he let his mother to lead them towards their dining room.


Jaemin’s father was already waiting for both of them there still with his office clothes and a loosen tie hanging on his neck, and once he looked up at his wife and his only son, “Come on, lets eat. I can wait no longer to eat your mother’s cook.” He chuckled when his wife gives him a kiss on his cheek while Jaemin is just watching them with a warm feelings—he’s definitely gonna miss this.


Jaemin had expected this—while having their dinner and were being accompanied by his mother’s non-stop question about his dorm life.


“So, when will we get to know about your roommate? Its almost been 2 months, Nana.” His mother asked as she gives him a small pout on her lips which Jaemin replied with his sheepish smile.


“Mom, he’s kinda shy, you know. I can’t—”


“If he can’t talk on the phone then bring him home! Isn’t it gonna be easier?” she smiled widely at her idea, which made Jaemin shook his head instantly, “No way, Mom!” he whined, “If he can’t talk with you on the phone, then he’ll never can talk with you face to face, Mom.” Jaemin added as he feed himself with his food again.


The table suddenly becomes silent and Jaemin feels bad because of it. He feels like he made a mistake there for answering his mother like that, so he put his spoon down on his plate, “I’m sorry, Mom. I just can’t find the time to talk to my roommate about this. I really hope you can understand, Mom.” He gives his mother a small smile while she was just looking at him with her pout.


“Your mother is just worried about you, Nana.” His father smiled softly at him and Jaemin nods to his words, he understands it very well about it. But isn’t it too much, though?


When Jaemin was about to open his mouth to speak up, a call from an unknown number come and Jaemin looks up at his mother who gives him the ‘I told you no phone during dinner’ look and Jaemin gives her his awkward grin, “Sorry, Mom, I’ll be quick!” he said before finally getting up from his chair and went to the backyard of his house.


Jaemin was keep looking at the unknown number showing on his screen with this uneasy feelings, but he decided to put it aside and finally picking it up.


“Hello?” he said with a lot of anticipation—without he realized.


But there’s no answer from the other line. All he can hear was crowd and traffic behind it. Jaemin squinted his eyes as he felt his heart clenching with this familiar feeling. This feels just like a déjà vu for him.


“If this is another prank, Jisung, I’m g—”






That voice.


That tone.


There’s no way. It can’t be.


Jaemin can feel his heart was stopped beating right at that moment—he could feel his eyes were burnt with tears, his whole body suddenly feels weak.


Is this real?


Is this really him?






Chapter Text

Jaemin and Mark became so close since that day they met in Donghyuck’s birthday party. Mark is Donghyuck’s senior in their high school, while Jaemin is the kid who Donghyuck have known since the boy was still in his diaper.


“Nana, you better come to my party! Its gonna be so much fun, you’ll meet new people there!” that’s what Donghyuck told Jaemin when he invited the younger boy, which got turned down almost immediately by him.


“I don’t like partying, Hyuckie. Besides, Dad will scold me if he knows about it.” Jaemin said as he keep his nose into the book that he read in his bed.


Getting the unwanted response, Donghyuck throw a pillow right onto Jaemin’s head and laughing at him right after he saw the younger’s reaction, “You’re no fun! I’ll just ask Jisung to come with me, then. I bet he’ll accept my invitation right away.” He stuck out his tongue at the younger boy.


When he was about to get up from Jaemin’s bed, Jaemin hold him on the wrist, “If…” he trailed off on his words when he saw Donghyuck already smirking at him, “I’ll come if you can ask my Dad to let me come to your party.” He said as he squinted his eyes at the older boy.


A wide smile was spread on his lips, “Okay!” Donghyuck answers as he walks out from Jaemin’s room as he was calling for Jaemin’s mother, asking when will he can see Jaemin’s father and asking for his permission.


Jaemin was lying, actually. He knew his father will definitely let him coming to that party—its Donghyuck’s party anyway. Its just—he doesn’t want to seem so eager to go to that party. He need to keep it low or Donghyuck will get suspicious—he doesn’t want Donghyuck to know about Jaemin’s secret crush on the older’s friend.


Once Jaemin got into Donghyuck’s house, he was immediately being welcomed by the decoration in The Lee’s living room. A homemade banner written “Happy 17 Donghyuck” are hanging on the wall, with so many paper craft in stars form, also ballon as the companion, which Jaemin believed to be Renjun’s idea.


To think of it, Jaemin never thought that this two will end up together, though. Why? Its simply because the difference in their behavior, their way of thinking—they’re just so different in so many things, but here they’re being the sweetest cute couple Jaemin has ever know.


“Nana Jaem!” the older called out to him, waking him up from his deep thought. Jaemin immediately turned around to find Donghyuck was already standing right behind him with his cutest smile, a paper crown was placed perfectly atop his head.


Jaemin gave him his warmest hug for the birthday boy, “Happy birthday, Hyuckie.” He whispered as he gave him a kiss on his cheek, just like the usual thing they do to each other. Jaemin moved his eyes towards Renjun who is now watching them from afar, giving Jaemin a soft smile as he waved his hand at him before he goes back to taking care of Donghyuck’s guests.


“Where’s Jisung and Chenle by the way?” the younger asked as he fixed his hair again, looking around the place that was started to get crowded the second he realized it.


“They’re still on their way, Jisung has to pick up Chenle first.” The tanned-skin boy said as he took a plate full of cookies on the nearest table to offer to the younger boy—Donghyuck said, “You’re still sixteen, not seventeen yet, so I can’t give you any kind of alcohol, baby!”


Not even before Jaemin can say anything else about the cookies, Donghyuck was already being greeted by their other friends.


And that’s his chance to look around the place once again—trying to find his crush. Jaemin did saw his friends but not with the boy he was looking for. Where’s he?


Jaemin decided to leave Donghyuck with his friends, walking towards the house balcony to get some fresh air for himself.


With mind filled with the handsome boy, he looked up at the night sky, still hoping that his crush was here, still hoping that the boy will come.


They might only have met once, but Jaemin can clearly remember how the boy smile, the way he laugh, his voice—everything. Jaemin remembers everything about him. Maybe, love at first sight are real after all.


“Oh?” a voice come from his back and Jaemin immediately turned to face the latter, which he never expect to be the boy that he keep thinking of these past few weeks.


“I thought there’s no one here. Sorry.” He said and was about to turn back into the house again before Jaemin has the courage to tell him to stay.


“N-no, its okay! We can share this place.” The younger said with his reddened cheeks—the color gets even bolder when the boy was laughing at him.


He’s coming towards Jaemin’s side as he keep locking his eyes on him, “Okay, if you say so.” He smiled at the younger as he pulled out a pack of cigarette from his pocket.


“What’s your name?” the black-haired boy ask as he offer the cigarette to the younger boy, which he politely rejects.


The boy has lit up his cigarette while Jaemin was watching him in awe. The boy looks so much better from up close.


“Hey, I ask for your name, kid.” The boy chuckled and that’s when Jaemin realized that he’s been watching him for too long, “M-my name..Its Jaemin. Sorry…” he mumbled the last word which only gets a smile from the latter, “It’s okay. I’m Mark, by the way.” He offered his free hand while his other hand was being occupied by his cigarette.


“I know…” the younger smiled shyly at Mark as he took the older’s hand in his.


“What are you two doing here? The party is inside, not right here.” Donghyuck’s voice came into their ears and Jaemin quickly pulled his hand away from Mark while the latter’s hand was still hanging in the air for a split second before he put his hand into his pocket.


Mark turned to looking at Donghyuck, “Why don’t you tell me you have a cute friend coming? I can dress up with my best thing if I know.” He said to the birthday boy as he gave Jaemin his smile before finally leaving the spot.


Donghyuck was looking at Jaemin with the biggest smirk on his face when he saw Jaemin was blushing really hard. He was so ready to explode when he heard Mark saying that right into his ears.


After that day, they’ve become so close than ever. They hangs out together—with or without Donghyuck as Jaemin’s ‘guard’. They talked about a lot of stuff, their school, their friends, their favorite movies, songs, or whatever—but not about their true feelings for each other.


But one day, when both of them were hanging out in Mark’s place, the older boy finally has the courage to tell the younger about this thing that he’s been feeling for him. He wants Jaemin to know that he wants the boy for all himself.


“Do you want to be my boyfriend, Jaemin?” the older asked as he keep Jaemin’s hands in his, looking at the younger boy so tenderly. Oh, if only he knows that Jaemin are so weak for that.


The younger blinks his eyes when he heard of what Mark said just now, “Are you serious? Do you really love me, Mark? Are you really sure about your feelings for me?” he asked as he bring his face close to the older boy, looking at him closely with his glossy eyes.


Mark nodded his head still with a smile on his face, “One million percent, Nana. I fall for you the first time I come to Hyuck’s house that day, when I caught you eating Donghyuck’s ice cream in the kitchen and you—”


“Oh my God! Stop with that!” the younger blushes as he hid his face in the crook of Mark’s neck and the latter smoothly moved his arms and wrapped the younger’s body as he brought their body closer.


“And that’s when I fall for you too.” Jaemin smiled as he placed kisses on the older’s jaw before he looked up at him, with the most beautiful smile that Mark have ever seen, “I love you, Mark.” he whispered as he placed both of his hands on each side of Mark’s face,



“And I want you to be my forever.”



“Mark is here? What do you mean?” Donghyuck said with a low voice as he looked around the canteen, “After all this time? Why now?” he asked with an upset look, suddenly losing his appetite.


Jaemin shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know, Hyuckie…” he mumbled, “He said that he wanted to see me, and I agreed.” He smiled weakly at the older and Donghyuck looking at him in disbelief, “What the—? Why’d you do agreed to that?” Donghyuck asked a little louder that made Jaemin feels bad—he knows that Donghyuck is just worried, but still, he need to clear up things between him and Mark.


“We never like officially break up, you know. None of us ever said ‘lets break up’ or anything like that—”


“Yeah, none of you have said ‘I love you’ to each other either after that day when he left you, right?” Donghyuck cut him off as he crossed his arms over his chest right after he heard Jaemin’s words.


The younger couldn’t say anything else after that. Donghyuck really knows what he was thinking, but seeing how things going are right now, he thought that he might be get another chance to fix his relationship with Mark, and that’s good, right?


“Hyuck, he’s my first in everything, he’s my first love, my first boyfriend, my first kiss—he’s the only one that I’ve ever felt something like this. It feels like I just can’t forget him…” Jaemin pouted as he looked up at Donghyuck.


And Donghyuck can only sighing a little harsher at Jaemin’s words, “Nana, if you ever have a thought on getting back to him, I won’t allow it. I don’t want the same thing to ever happened to you, again. Alright?” He stated and Jaemin was only looking at him confusedly before he let out a huff, still thinking on how he’s going to meet his Mark without Donghyuck knowing.




Jaemin was arriving at his dorm pretty late that night after he visits Donghyuck and Renjun’s place. He was being welcomed by Jeno who was watching tv in their small living room once he opened the front door.


“Oh? You’re back already?” he smiled at the older boy as he closed the door behind him. Jeno was only nodding his head, “There’s nothing much I can do in my home.” He said as he keep changing the channel on their tv.


Jaemin proceed to sit next to Jeno as he showed him a small box on his hand, “Wanna have a bite?” he asked him with a soft smile when Jeno finally averted his eyes towards him, showing him a confused look.


“Its your favorite, Jeno.”


The older rolled his eyes at Jaemin but a smile appears on his lips after it, “Oh, shut up. Why do you even need to ask, then?” he said while Jaemin opened up the box right on his lap.


“Do you actually liked this cake, though?” the older boy asked him, Jaemin shrugged his shoulder, “No, but right now, I just really need to eat something like this, so—” Jaemin stopped mid-way when he saw the older’s smirk, “Whatever you’re thinking right now, Mr. Lee Jeno, I don’t care, okay?” he shook his head as he took the small spoon from inside the box.


“Just say that you miss me, kid.” The older said as he snatched the small spoon from Jaemin’s hand and the younger just throw him a surprised look before shoving him away, “You and your confidence really got me a headache, Jeno.” He said as soft laughter slipped out from his lips.


It feels different when Jeno is here, he realized. Even though the boy always makes him wanted to explode with so much anger, but he got used to have him as his roommate, like, very fast. He used to arguing with Jeno, even about the smallest thing, but he also can’t deny that sometimes, Jeno can be kind too.


Like that one day when Jaemin went to his favorite bookstore all by himself because Chenle and Jisung can’t be with him at the time, it was raining really hard when he was about to go back to the dorm and Jaemin didn’t bring an umbrella with him, so that he had to wait for the rain to stop. And that’s when Jeno, surprisingly, showed up and offered him to go back to the dorm with him.


“I bring my car here.” The older boy said when he was standing right behind Jaemin, which surprised him, “Jeno? What are you doing here?” and that’s a stupid question, he admits it.


Jeno rolled his eyes at the stupid question, “Its up to me, right, kid?” Jeno answered as he showed him his car key at Jaemin, “Do you want a ride or not? I can just leave you here.” He said, walking towards the main door of the building when Jaemin immediately following him close behind.


“Thank you, Jeno.”


“Whatever, Jaemin.”


“Hey, kid?”


Jaemin looked up and he can see that Jeno was already looking at him with a confused look on his face, which is understandable since Jaemin suddenly being so quiet when he was recalling that one memories of him about Jeno.


“Eat up, Jeno.” He smiled at him and Jeno brings up the spoon towards him, “You eat that first, I’ll take another spoon for me.” He said before he gets up to take another spoon for him.


While they’re eating the cake in silent, Jaemin kept thinking on telling Jeno about Mark—he really need to tell anyone that is not Donghyuck, Renjun, Chenle, not even Jisung. Not to people that have involved with this old story.


So, Jaemin took a quick glance at Jeno with heart beating so uncontrollably, “H-hey Jeno, I need to tell you something, would you listen to it?” he asked hesitatingly towards the older boy, and so Jeno immediately turned to looking at him with confusion, but he just nodded his head, “Yeah, sure, go on.” He answered as he averted his eyes away again from the younger boy.


Jaemin move to sit closer with Jeno as he locked his eyes on their tv that showing a comedy show on screen, “This is about my first love.” He speaks up and Jeno focusing on listening to him as his eyes were still on the tv.


A sad smile was formed on Jaemin’s lips as he keep telling Jeno about his love story with Mark, from the very beginning until the day when Mark suddenly contacting him again after a long time.


Jeno was surprised when he heard that name, though. This can’t be real, right?


“You know how I feel right now, don’t you? That’s why you choose to keep listening…” Jaemin assuming as he leaned his head on the headrest as his eyes were focusing on Jeno.


The black-haired boy was silent at first before he shook his head, “Its not it, I-I just wanted to returned your kindness—the cake!—you’ve been so kind to me since the first time you came and I realized that I was a jerk roommate to you.” He stutters, “Besides, your story were better than mine—this is the least that I can do for you, kid—listening to you.” He added, stealing a glance at Jaemin before he got up from their couch.


“Well, none of our story are having a happy ending though, Jeno. Mine was not that good either.” Jaemin stated as he lay himself on the couch as he keep looking at Jeno’s back.


The older boy looks at him as he gave him a small smile, “At least, he’s still trying to looking up for you, Jaemin.”


Jeno was about to close his door when Jaemin ask him one more thing, “Do you still love your ex, though?”


Jeno just standing there on his doorway, looking at Jaemin with his small smile before he close his door silently.


The story that Jaemin told him just now—is this real?




The next day, Jaemin found the dorm was already empty again. Jeno must be going out early for his morning class today.


He lazily took his phone that he placed on the nightstand and he can see that there’s a text from Mark.


[02.43 AM] i’ll pick you up after your class, Nana :)


He sighed at that and decided to not replying to his text, locking his phone again before he finally get ready to go to his class today.


Lets just hope its going to be a good day today, too.


Once Jaemin got into his class, he can see that Chenle and Jisung was already sitting on their usual spot. Surprisingly, they seem like nothing’s happened between them. They talked to each other just like their usual self.


Jaemin approaching both of them in silent before he stood right in front of their seat, “Hi!” he greeted them with a bright smile and Chenle was the first one who looked up at him, “Oh, Nana!” he smiled so widely as he instantly got up from his seat and gives the older boy a warm hug, while Jisung was only giving the two of them his simplest smile before he looked down on his phone again.


“You okay?” Jaemin asked to Chenle and the younger nodded his head, “Yes! I’m okay now! Thank you for comforting me that day, Nana.” The Chinese boy smiled as he pulled away from their morning hug, and let the older boy to take the seat between him and Jisung.


“How are you, Ji?” Jaemin asked the younger boy who sat on his left side and the asked boy just nodded his head with an awkward smile, so that Jaemin ruffles his hair like he was a puppy to him, “Good boy!” he giggled when he saw Jisung was giving him his pout as he fixed his hair.


And once the lunch time come, the canteen turned into an ocean of people, which is a common things that happened in a campus, right?


“So, we’re going to sit with Donghyuck and Renjun today.” Jaemin smiled at his two friends who walks right behind him when they entered the crowded canteen.


Jaemin’s eyes were looking around the place, trying to find the other two among the crowd. And when he saw Donghyuck was standing in queue to take their lunch with Renjun, he immediately ran towards them and leaving Chenle and Jisung behind—without even letting them to reject his idea.


“Hyuck! Jun!” he called the two of them as he throws his arms on each of their shoulder. The two were surprised by his sudden appearance, but they laughed along with the boy immediately when they realized that it was only their Nana.


“Hey, can we sit with you today?” Jaemin asked the two of them while they’re waiting for their turn to get their food in the queue.


We?” Renjun asked with a total confused look and Jaemin nodded his head, “Me, Chenle and Jisung!” he said with his cute tone, just like the usual thing he always do when he wants something from both Donghyuck and Renjun.


“They… want to sit with me and Junnie?” Donghyuck asked him carefully with his eyes were still focusing on the food in front of him.


Jaemin pouted at him, “I want to sit with you guys, so they have to follow me!” he whispered it right into the older’s ear and Donghyuck giggled to that, averted his eyes towards his boyfriend, which Renjun returned with a nod, “If they’re okay, then Junnie and I are okay too, Nana.” He smiled at the younger boy.


Jaemin clapped his hands when he heard Donghyuck’s answer and immediately running towards Chenle and Jisung who’s still standing near the canteen’s entrance.


“Let’s go! They’re waiting for us!” he pulled the two’s hands and they finally tried to refuse him, “No, Jaem. You know things are still not good between us and its—”


“Oh, come on, Ji! They’re okay, you’re just overthinking about it.” Jaemin rolled his eyes at Jisung’s words before he tried to dragged them with him again before Chenle stopping him from doing so, “Uh…we should take our food first, Nana. We’ll catch up to you later, okay?” he gives a look at Jisung and then back at Jaemin again with a small smile on his lips.


The blonde boy just let out a small sigh before he nodded his head at them, “But hurry, okay? I’ll be watching from our table!” he pointed his finger at the two of them before he ran towards where Donghyuck and Renjun are.


But then he realized that they’re not alone there on their table, Jeno was also sitting with them. “Hi, Jeno.” The younger greeted him as he waved his hand at him and just like the usual, Jeno was only nodding his head at Jaemin before he goes back to the game on his phone.


The blonde boy choose to sit across the cold boy as he waits for Chenle and Jisung to come.


“You sure they’ll come, Jaem?” Donghyuck asked and Jaemin nodded his head, “One hundred percent!” he smiled at the older boy and when he was looking at the queue again, Chenle and Jisung was already heading towards their table, as they keep elbowing each other’s side.


“Guys! Hurry up!” Jaemin said at the two of them and he can see that Jisung was giving him another pout so he shook his head, “Don’t be shy, kiddo! Come!” he giggled at that.


“You’re a kid yourself too, Jaemin.”


And that was enough to surprised the three of them, “Oh, so you can finally talk to Jaemin now, Jeno?” Renjun said with his full-sarcasm towards Jeno and the said boy just shook his head in disbelief.


Jaemin was just showing his grin at Jeno before he looked back at Chenle and Jisung who finally arriving at their table, “Come on, sit wherever you want.” He said as he can see that the four of them being so awkward right now.


This doesn’t get to escape from Jeno’s eyes too, so he starts to speak up again, “Can you guys stop being like a stone and just eat?” he said as he propped his chin on his hand on the table. He throws a small smirk at Jaemin and the younger just laughed at him.


Chenle shrugged his shoulder as he took a seat on another empty spot next to Renjun, while Jisung awkwardly sat next to Donghyuck and Jaemin. Jaemin is looking at his friends who finally starts to eat in peace (with so much awkwardness, of course) and he shook his head as he smiled widely at them.


And when he was looking at Jeno, the older boy was already looking at him. When they locked their eyes, they throws smile at each other before they also start to eat their lunch in silence.


They’re still focusing on their food when Jaemin’s phone starts ringing. Donghyuck is looking at him intensely but Jaemin tried to not to think about it too much as he took his phone out from his pocket.


The name he’s been waiting for was there on his screen.


The younger immediately getting up from his seat and with no words, he left their table, not minding Chenle and Jisung who called out to his name.


Jeno surprisingly offered himself to follow the younger boy and Donghyuck just nodded his head—he knew that this is not a good sign and yet, he can’t do anything. Not when Jaemin is so full of hope like this.


Jeno ended up in the parking lot, but he couldn’t find the blonde boy there. Jeno keep looking around the place when he saw a familiar car is coming towards his direction, he  moved to the side and hide between cars there. When he saw Jaemin on the passenger seat of that car, he frowned.


And when he saw who’s behind the wheel, he let out a loud sigh.


Its really him, the person he’s always try to avoid from and the person that Jaemin told him about—







Its his step brother. Mark Lee.

Chapter Text

Seems like silence is the only good friend they have in the car right now. None of them have the guts to say anything to each other, not even a single word.


While Mark is focusing on the road, Jaemin is focusing to calm his heart down. He has his eyes on the view from his window as his mind is suddenly going back to the time when they’re still together, when everything was all beautiful for both of them—at least for Jaemin.




Even his voice doesn’t feel so real right now. This is not real, he keeps telling himself that. He just doesn’t know if this all was a reality or life trying to play tricks on him again.


“Nana, you okay?” the older asked worriedly and now Jaemin can even feel his touch on his hand, but still, he didn’t have the courage to looking at the older boy, so he keep quiet for a moment before he finally speaks up. “Are you even real? This is not—this is not a dream anymore?” he cracked his voice, got a little surprised with himself for tearing up in the middle of his sentence. Weak.


Mark didn’t say anything though, but instead, he pulled over the car on this familiar road—Jaemin didn’t even realized how far they’ve been driving, but it turns out that Mark was about to bring him to the place that they used to go to with their friends—the beach.


He can feel Mark’s stare slowly slipping into his skin so he turned his back on him, moving his face forward and leaning his forehead against the cold window, “Why are you here? Why are you back? Where have you been, Mark?” he asked, still with his hoarse voice. There’s just so many question that he wants to ask to the older boy but he choose to not to.


There’s a moment before Mark answers him, and Jaemin hates it. He wants Mark to answered him right away. He doesn’t want Mark to think of another lies to tell. He wants an honest answer from the older boy, the one that he once loved with all his heart.


“Because I can’t take it any longer, Nana. I miss you…” the older said as softly as he could, but the younger shook his head as a sad smile make an appearance on his lips, “Liar. You’re always good as a liar.” He said, “You should never left from the first place, then.”


And there’s no more answer from the older boy, but Jaemin can hear him letting out a sigh. And when he turned to face him, he can see that Mark has cried.


“I’m sorry, Nana… I’m really sorry for leaving you…” was all Mark can say before he goes out from the car and leaned his body limply on the side of the car as he holds tight onto his hair.


While Jaemin is still sitting in the car, feeling more empty than he already is, he keeps thinking, what’s happening with them right now? What kind of reality is this?


A call from Donghyuck that manage to wake him up from his deep thought. He knows that he made his friends worried, but he also couldn’t help but to come with Mark. He just doesn’t want to miss the chance he finally gets.


So he decide to ignores the call and put his phone on the dashboard, let the call finally died off by itself. He keeps looking at Mark who’s still crying outside the car and so Jaemin exited from the car, going to Mark’s side calmly.


He stand close to the older boy, looking at both of their feet.


“Hey, Mark?” he called the older boy who’s still having his face hidden in his hands, “We broke up, don’t we?” he asked as he could feel his chest tightening at his own question. That’s still hurt, apparently.


Mark quickly looks up at him with a pained look, “W-what? Do you ha—”


Mark’s words were immediately being cut off by a loud honk coming from another car that parked right behind his car and Jaemin instantly know who it was.


Mark was wiping off the tears that stained his cheeks as he keep looking at the car confusedly, “Do you know who it was, Nana?” he asked to Jaemin and before Jaemin can even answered him, the car’s owner coming out from the car and Mark froze on his spot.


“You got a lot of things to explain to your friends, kid.” He said as he walked towards the two of them, without even averted his eyes towards his step-brother.


“Jeno?” the older tried to gained his attention when the younger standing right in front of him but Jeno just keep giving him the silence treatment, like Mark didn’t even exist there.


Jaemin was about to get into Mark’s car again but Jeno was fast to hold him by his arm, “Lets get back.” He said sternly and Jaemin just standing there looking at him with his sad look.


Jeno tilted his head to the side, “You know it won’t work on me, Jaemin. I’m not Donghyuck.” He said as he moved his hand away from Jaemin’s arm, and the younger nodded his head, “I’m just going to get my phone..” he said weakly at Jeno before opening the car’s door and took his phone that he left on the dashboard before.


“I’m not done with him yet, Jeno.” The older said with a cold tone that’s so rare for Jaemin to hear but not for Jeno, he’s used to that. But the younger just shrugged his shoulder carelessly. He just doesn’t care about any damn words that his step-brother have for him.


Mark was about to land his hand on Jeno’s shoulder when Jaemin finally tells Jeno that he’s ready to get back to the dorm, which made Jeno coming towards Jaemin and quickly took Jaemin’s hand in his.


Jaemin was looking at their clasp hands but he shook his head right away and moving his eyes towards Mark, “I’ll talk with Hyuckie first, Mark. I’ll tell you when we’ll be able to talk again.” He said with a weak smile before Jeno pulled him towards his car.


He sat on the passenger seat as he keep his eyes on Mark, who’s now doing the same as he did. When the car he’s in drives away, Jaemin still can see that Mark was pouring all of his disappointment by kicking his car’s tire.


The blonde boy now turned to looking at the guy next to him as he squinted his eyes at him, “Why are you following me, Jeno?” he asked but the older doesn’t even seem so fazed by his question.


“Answer me, Jeno—”


“You wouldn’t want if Donghyuck and Renjun are the one who come to pick you up, Jaemin.” He said calmly and that’s what makes Jaemin quickly shut his mouth close.


During the drive, there’s not much things that they talked about, only about changing the song from Jeno’s mp3 player or even asking about buying a cheesecake—that’s just how Jaemin tried to distract the older boy from giving any news about him to Donghyuck, which is failed.


As they were entering the town again and Jaemin suddenly realized about when Mark calling Jeno’s name.


Jaemin moved on his seat so that he was facing Jeno right now, “Hey, how did Mark know you, though?” he asked as he leaned his head on the headrest as he keep looking at Jeno with his puffy eyes.


“Its none of your business, kid.” The older answered immediately and Jaemin scoffed at him, “After what you did today, you can’t just say that to me. You’re the one who stick your nose into my business after all.” Jaemin said as he keep staring at Jeno’s face, just in case it could made the older felt intimidated.


And Jeno, on the other side was cursing himself in his head. He really can’t win from this kid.


“He’s my step brother.” Was all Jeno said after having a long thoughts and he can hear Jaemin gasped loudly right after. “Your what!?” he said so loudly that Jeno has to cover his face with his big hand, “Stop being so loud, jeez!” he hissed as his other hand was holding tight on the wheel.


“But how—”


“Since last year, I think?” he said as he raised an eyebrow, “That’s why I choose to stay at dorm instead of my own house—it doesn’t even feel like a home anymore for me.” He added.


Jaemin tried to suck every information very slowly now. This is just so unexpected—out all of people in this world, why would these two—Mark and Jeno?


Jeno steal a glance at Jaemin who’s showing so much confusion on his face, “I actually moved in to the dorm not that long before you, like, since the beginning of the new semester, while you moved into the dorm like on half of the semester, right?” He confessed and Jaemin let out another gasp.


When Jaemin was about to say something, he realized that they’ve arrived at their dorm building and Jeno parked the car. “Lets go.” Jeno said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and turning off his car.


Once they got into their dorm, Jeno was about to go straight towards his room when Jaemin tugged the hem of his jacket, “Jeno?” he called him hesitatingly.


The older boy turned to face him with a confused look, so Jaemin pulled his hand off from his jacket, “I-I just wanted to ask you to help me to when I talk with Hyuck and Jun tomorrow, would you do it?” he asked with the puppy look he always have.


Jeno was only looking at him as he take a longer thought about Jaemin’s request.


“Okay, I’ll help you.” He answered as he nodded his head at Jaemin and the younger’s face lit up immediately.


And instinctively, Jaemin throws himself at Jeno, wrapping his arms around the older’s torso, “Thank you! Thank you, Jeno! I know you’re a good guy!” he keep saying and Jeno just standing there with so much confusion, but still returning the hug with light pats on Jaemin’s back.


Jeno keep patting Jaemin’s back softly, “You better get rest now, kid.” He said when Jaemin finally realized of what he was doing right now and quickly pulled away from the hug.


The blonde boy blinks his eyes as he tried to looking like nothing’s happened, “Y-you too, Jeno!” he stutters as he could feel his heart was racing right at that moment, before he finally run towards his room.


There’s so much things to think tonight.




Once Jaemin has arrived in his class, Jisung who was talking with Chenle before he saw Jaemin, is now giving him a silence treatment. But not with Chenle, though. He waved his hand at Jaemin when he saw him entering the class.


“Morning, Lele.” Jaemin smiled at the Chinese boy before he shifted his eyes at Jisung, “Morning, Ji.” He greeted him but the latter just shrugged his shoulder at him.


Its understandable, actually. He understands if Jisung is mad at him right now, he has the right to be. He left Chenle and Jisung with Donghyuck and Renjun yesterday, when they’re still not in their good terms—just for following Mark.


Jaemin proceed to sit next to Chenle, “I’m sorry for leaving you guys with Hyuckie and Junnie yesterday…” he whispered right into Chenle’s ear and the Chinese boy just shook his head with a smile, “Its okay, Nana. Now I can start to talk with both of them again, at least.” He said and Jaemin nodded his head with a relieve smile on his lips.


While the class has started, Jaemin is still so busy with his phone. And that caught Chenle’s attention. He placed a hand on Jaemin’s hand and the blonde boy immediately turned to looking at him with a confused look.


“If you keep playing with your phone, Mr. Kim will probably kicking you out of this class, Nana.” The orange-haired boy said softly as he still has his eyes on their professor.


Hearing that Jaemin immediately turning off his phone and put it back into his bag.


“Who are you texting, though? Mark?” the latter asked again and Jaemin just nodded his head as he smiled sheepishly at Chenle.


“How’s he? Have you guys finally talk yesterday?” he asked again with a fond smile on his lips and Jaemin just feel so warm because of it—at least one of his friends are willing to understand him.


“Mark took me to the beach yesterday—actually no, we didn’t even reach the beach, though. We stopped mid-way because I was all crying and he did too and—”


“Fuck, just stop talking about that guy, can you?” Jisung said still with a low voice as he gave the two his pissed look before finally taking notes on their professor’s lecture again.


Jisung’s words stabbed him right into his chest that Jaemin immediately shuts his mouth close and he shifted a little bit from Chenle as he said sorry to both of them, while Chenle were nagging at Jisung.


He should have known better that among his friends, Jisung is probably who hates Mark the most. Not only for ‘stealing’ his Nana, but also because Mark hurt his Nana.


Once their class has dismissed, Chenle keep trying to make Jaemin feels better by giving him a hug while Jisung just walks right behind both of them—with guilt surrounding him.




Jaemin instantly looks up and he can already see Donghyuck standing right in front of his class with his serious look. And to that, he gulped down his saliva as he moved away from Chenle and ready to run away but he can’t. Someone is holding him by his arm.


He turned to see that Renjun was there with Jeno standing right behind him, smiling at him before nodding his chin at Donghyuck.


Oh, its gonna be a long day.




They’re all now sitting on their campus’s yard, with so many groupies that also having their fun there. But not with Jaemin and his friends right now, though.


“Why don’t you let us know before you went to see him?” Donghyuck asked the younger boy who’s now sitting right in front of him with his head down.


Jaemin on the other hand can’t even say anything right now, because, just look at them all sitting right in front of him, making him feel like he was a defendant in a court waiting for the judge’s decision. Even when Chenle wants to sit next to Jaemin, Donghyuck told him to not to.


Jaemin shrugged his shoulder at Donghyuck’s question, “Because I know you won’t let me if I tell you beforehand.” Jaemin mumbled as he played with the grass near his legs.


When Donghyuck heard that kind of answer, he let out a sigh, knowing that Jaemin will definitely answered his question like that, so that he moved closer towards him, “We’re all worried about you, Nana.” he said softly as he placed his palm atop Jaemin’s crown.


The younger immediately looks up at him with a small pout on his lips, “I know, but I also need to talk to him, Hyuckie… I wanted to make it clear between me and him.”


“Its clear that he left, Nana. Its clear that he played you.” Donghyuck stated and it suddenly becomes too tense for Jaemin’s liking. Jeno can feel that this might be the time that Jaemin needs his help so he immediately interfere, “But just let Jaemin decide it by himself, can you, Hyuck?” he said and Donghyuck turned to look at him in disbelief, “Excuse me, Lee Jeno?” he scoffed, not so pleased with Jeno’s words.


Jeno take a glance at the surprised Jaemin then back at Donghyuck again, “At least let Jaemin do it. If it made his heart feel at ease, then I see no problem with that.” He shrugged his shoulder and Donghyuck shook his head immediately, “And there’ll be a chance for that jerk to hurt him again. I won’t take that risk, Jeno.”


Jeno turned so that he can properly faced the tan-skinned boy, “You have no right to tell him what to do, Donghyuck.” he said and Donghyuck is ready to answer him again before Renjun who’s been sitting between the two stopped them both by holding onto their faces, “Okay, that’s it. I’m so fucking tired with you two already.” The smaller boy said as he shook his head.


Renjun turned to looking at Jaemin with a small smile, “Na, we did this because we love you, okay? We never wanted you to feel like we control you or anything, but we just want you tell us—let us know. So that if anything happens, we can immediately comes to you, okay?” he said so softly and Jaemin nodded with tears already filling up his eyelids.




Jaemin is back in the dorm and its surprisingly empty. Jeno says nothing about getting home late today, though, he also didn’t even texted him about anything.


“Jeno?” the younger knocks on his door and there’s no answer coming from the older boy. Jaemin tried to call his number and it connected to his voicemail instantly.


And when he was about to call the older boy again, he got a call from his mother. “Hi, Mom…” he answered as he sit down on the couch, “I’m sorry I’ve been a little bit busy with homework and paper and presentation and everything—”


Nana its okay, I understand, baby. I just wanted to check up on you. How you’ve been doing?” she said softly, always sound so so kind. “I’m good, Mom. How are you and Dad? Is everything good at home?” he asked and he can hear his mother chuckling on the other side.


Your Dad just did the sweetest thing to me today, Nana. He brought a big bouquet of red roses and—


Not before she finished her words, Jaemin heard the front door was opened and he can see Jeno there, looking like a mess. “Jeno?!” he runs towards the older boy who walks limply and immediately helped him to sit on the couch, “What’s happening to you?” he asked worriedly, trying to touch the bruises on his cheekbone with the tip of his finger but Jeno was quick to stop him.


Jaemin looks at his phone again, realizing that the call hasn’t been cut off, “Uh… Mom, I’ll talk to you later, okay? My roommate needs my help..” He said as he keep looking at Jeno worriedly, “O-okay, Nana, please tell your roommate that I said hi!” his mother said before she finally cut off the call.


Jaemin was about to sat next to Jeno, but the older boy just told him to go back to his room, “Its nothing, Jaemin. You don’t have to do anything.” He said as he tried to pushed the younger boy by the chest, but he’s just too weak for that so he let his hand fall on his lap again.


“Just let me clean it up for you.” Jaemin said as he went to the bathroom to get warm water and a towel to at least make his face feels better.


Jeno just sat there, half-asleep, when Jaemin is back and sat next to him.


“You’re old enough to know what’s good and bad, yet here you’re having a lot of bruises for getting into a fight—” Jaemin’s words were cut by Jeno’s hand that covering his mouth, “Shut up.” He groaned when he felt that Jaemin pressing the wet towel onto his bruises a little harder than he should.


Jaemin pulled Jeno’s hand away from his mouth, “At least be thankful while I’m being nice, Jeno.” He stuck out his tongue and Jeno just let out sigh at him.


And once Jaemin is done with his job, he take a closer look at Jeno’s face with a sad look, “Tsk, what are we going to do with your handsome face, Jeno. That’s your only asset in this life to—” he teases him and Jeno just let out a weak chuckle as he opened his eyes slowly, “Stop teasing me, kid.” He shoved Jaemin away again as he let out another groan when he felt the pain on his waist when he moved too much.


But all Jaemin can do right now is to looking at Jeno with a big smile on his lips as he can feel this strange happiness that spread all over his chest. Its maybe just because the friendship between him and Jeno are now growing well—he’s just so happy that Jeno now willing to be his friend.


He kept looking at Jeno and the older boy realized so that he turned to looking at him in silent before Jaemin sit closer and Jeno slowly leaned his head on Jaemin’s shoulder, “I got into a fight with her boyfriend just now.” He confessed and Jaemin just stayed silent listening to him.




“Yes, I actually have been seeing her again, a few times. We talked as friends and it seems like everything’s good, you know. But today, when we met again, we accidentally met her boyfriend and he got misunderstand about us. He just punched me right on my face—damn, you don’t know how embarrassing it was for me, Jaemin.” He chuckled and Jaemin followed him along.




As he can hear Jeno’s chuckles has died down, he’s staring at Jeno’s hands, “So…do you still love her?” Jaemin asked and Jeno shrugged his shoulder, “You keep asking the same question, kid.” He answered as he moved his face closer to his neck and it makes Jaemin’s heart race a bit. Just a bit, okay?




“N-no, I was just trying to make sure—if I was in your place, maybe I would know if I still loves Mark or not.” He said and Jeno immediately lifted up his face, looking at the younger boy closely.




“Jaemin, every person has different heart. I might know my own feelings when I met her, but I don’t know if it’ll have the same effect to you. But if you really think that you need to talk to him, then just talk.” He smiled and Jaemin is relieved because of his words.




Jaemin wrapped his arms around the older’s shoulder and brings him into a tight hug, “Thank you, Jeno. Thank you for encouraging me.” He said and he can feel that Jeno was returning his hug, which made him felt at ease, “If you know what your heart wants, then its okay, Nana.” He said and Jaemin’s heart beating fast again. It feels strange when Jeno called him with that name, but he likes it.




Jaemin is the first one who pulled away from their hug. He looked at Jeno with a soft smile, “You probably gotta get some rest now, Jeno.” He said, eyeing Jeno’s bruises and Jeno nodded as he slowly getting up from the couch, “You should too, Jaemin. Good night. Thank you, by the way.” He smiled as he ruffled his hair before going to his own room, leaving Jaemin with a heart now beating a little uncontrollable than before and cheeks that got a little warmer.




Chapter Text

Jeno just got back from his last class for that night and he fall asleep almost immediately once his body was laying comfortably on the couch. But not too long after he entered his dreamland, a sudden call waking him up.


He tried to ignore it at first, but the call was keep coming and that’s when Jeno just groaned and took his phone out from his bag as he still has his eyes closed.


“What?” he answered as he slowly tried to sit up on the couch, “Jeno, I need your help…” the person from the other line said and Jeno has his eyes wide open now. “Hyena?” he called her name, as he took a quick glance on his screen just to find ‘Hyena’ there. “Where are you now?” he said as he quickly getting up from the couch, took the jacket that he previously throws on the other side of the couch.


Jeno put his jacket back on as he keep listening to Hyena’s voice, “Please… Can you please pick me up? I’m scared…” she said weakly and Jeno immediately running out from the dorm, didn’t really care if Jaemin or his neighbors were bothered because of how loud he closed the door.


“I’ll come to you. Stay at where you are right now, okay?” Jeno said as he unlocked his car. “Please hurry…” she said for the last time before Jeno cut off the call and gets into the car.

jaem i’m going out [09.54 PM]
hyena needs me [09.54 PM]


Right after he sent those texts to Jaemin, he heard a knock on his window which startled him. “The fuck, Jaemin!” Jeno groaned as he rolled down his window when he was about to say something him, “I’m coming with you.” The younger was quicker than Jeno as he goes to the other side of the car and immediately sat on the passenger seat next to Jeno.

The blonde boy was looking at him with a confused look when the older boy didn’t start the car, “Lets go! You seem so panicked before, come on, hurry up!” he said as he waved his hand, ordering the older boy to just drive.


Jeno just shook his head in disbelief before he finally starts the car and not even waiting any longer, he immediately stepped on his pedal, drive towards where Hyena is.


Jeno’s eyes were focusing on the road but his mind is wandering—what is happening to her?


“Where are we going, though?” the blonde boy asked as he was looking at people in group crossing the road while they’re waiting for the red light turns to green.


Jeno let out a sigh, “Stop asking, kid. You aren’t supposed to be with me right now, you know.” he said as he keep tapping the tip of his fingers on his wheel, waiting impatiently.


Hearing Jeno’s answer, Jaemin chuckles but he quickly stopped when he realized that he shouldn’t let out a sound right now, “Oops, the grumpy old man is back now, I see.” he mumbled as he keep trying to hold his laughter, but Jeno didn’t seem to care about it, so when the light finally turn to green, he starts to drive again.


Once they’ve arrived at Hyena’s place, Jeno told Jaemin to stay in the car to watch his surrounding, but of course being the 5 years old kid he is, Jaemin played a game on his phone when he finally got bored waiting for Jeno.


[10.19 PM] hey baby you there?


Jaemin can feel his heart stopped a beat when he saw the notification. He was surprised at the petname that the older gave. He couldn’t help but to let a smile spread on his lips.


why is it, mark? [10.21 PM]


As he was rereading Mark’s last text, he heard a knock on his window, and he can see that Jeno was there with a girl behind him, wearing the jacket that Jeno wore before. Jaemin was looking at the girl, she looked exactly like on the picture that Chenle has showed him before, just with a shorter hair this time.


Jaemin exited the car without saying anything before he moved to the backseat of the car, letting the girl to sit next to Jeno at the front seat.


“Thank you.” the girl smiled at Jaemin once she get into the car and Jaemin can only nodded his head with a small smile on his lips.


Once Jeno is back on his seat, Jaemin watched him looking so worried as he hold the girl’s hand tightly in his. It’s so obvious that Jeno’s still in love with this girl. He might say that he’s just friends with her, but the way he act towards this girl is just so different.


“I’ll take you to a safer place, Hyena. Don’t worry.” Jeno said as he started the car. “Jeno, what if he’s back? I’m scared…” she said as she wept her tears away and Jeno turned to look at her once again, caresses her hair softly, “Don’t be scared, I’m here, okay?” He said with a soft smile.


“Lets find a place for you to stay, okay?” Jeno said and Hyena nodded her head. Jeno was looking at the boy at the backseat, “You okay back there, kid?” he asked and Jaemin nodded his head, showing a thumb up at Jeno.


Jeno decided to choose a hotel for Hyena to stay, thinking that it’ll be safe for her, but still, she refused to stay there alone. “What if he found me?” she whispered as she looked around the empty lobby, hugging Jeno’s arm close, “Please stay with me, Jeno…” she pleaded as she leaned her head on Jeno’s shoulder, and of course, the boy can only let out a sigh.


He goes back to the car where Jaemin’s still waiting for him. “Kid, I think I’m going to stay here, but I’ll get you back to the dorm first, okay?” He said and when he was about to go to his seat, Jaemin was quick to stopped him, “No! It’s okay Jeno, you don’t have to! I’ll just ask Mark to pick me up.” He rubs the back of his neck, showing the older boy his sheepish smile.


Jeno was giving him a confused look, its not like he’s against Jaemin’s idea for asking Mark to pick him up, he just wasn’t so sure to let the kid to be alone with the guy that his friends ‘hate’ the most—at least not after they confronted Jaemin about Mark last week. “Are you serious, Jaemin?” he asked and Jaemin nodded his head certainly, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” He grinned from ear to ear and Jeno just doesn’t have the heart to let that cute face turned to a sad one.


Jeno nodded his head, placed his hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, “Alright, but lets just get inside while you wait, okay?” Jeno smiled and Jaemin agreed to him immediately.


He doesn’t have to wait for that long, though. Mark came almost like 15 minutes after the younger called him to pick him up and tell him everything on the phone, from where Jeno closed the door with a loud noise until why’d they ended up in this hotel.


“Text me when you got back safely at dorm, alright kid?” Jeno said as he patted Jaemin’s back softly, walked the younger boy towards the front lobby.


Jaemin nodded his head, “Take care, Jeno.” He showed the older boy a small smile before he waved his hand at Hyena who’s been watching the two of them from afar, and the girl returned with the same gesture.


“Nana!” Mark’s voice comes into his ears and the called boy quickly turned around to find Mark was already standing there next to his car with a smile that Jaemin always loved to see. Its still the same smile.


Jaemin run towards him as he hugged the older boy with a wide smile spread on his lips, “Thank you.” He said, looking at the older boy with his softened eyes as he pulled away from their hug.


Mark was trying to say something to Jeno, but the latter has disappeared from their sight. “Well, that’s fast.” The younger mumbled as he looked around the lobby to find Jeno, but failed.


Mark softly took Jaemin’s hand in his, making the younger fluttered a bit, “Hey, do you wanna drive around the town, Nana? You used to wanna have that kind of date before.” He said as he can see that Jaemin was blushing hard.


Jaemin didn’t mean to be a meanie but he really need to get back to the dorm, because he can feel that he’s slowly drowning into his sleepiness.


“Lets just get back for now, Mark. I’m a bit sleepy.” He showed the older boy a sheepish smile and Mark was giggling to that, “Okay, if you say so.” He thumbed the younger’s cheek with his free hand before leading them back towards his car.


Throughout their way back to Jaemin’s dorm, they keep talking about their beautiful time in the past, but only the beautiful parts that are worth to remember.


Once they’ve arrived, Mark opened the door for Jaemin before the younger even have the chance to do so. “I’m not a prince you need to serve all the time, Mark. I can do it by myself.” The younger smiled as he close the door softly and Mark just showed him his sweet smile, “I just wanted to treat you good, you deserved it.” He said as he moved the hair that covered Jaemin’s eyes a little.


They just kept staring at each other before Jaemin starts to chuckle, “It feels weird.” He said and Mark nodded to his words.


Once their laughter died down, they just looking at each other again, with so much warmth they can feel in their chests, “Thank you, Nana.” The older suddenly said and Jaemin gave him a confused look, “What for?” he asked and Mark shrugged his shoulder, “Just—for giving me a chance to get close to you once again.” He said and Jaemin can feel his heart was softened at his words.


Mark’s always good when it comes to words that can make you experiencing so many feelings in your heart.


Jaemin looked down as he tried to hide his heated cheeks, but Mark made him to look up again as he placed both of his hands on each side of Jaemin’s face.


“I really hope you can forgive me for what I’ve done to you in the past, Nana. I’ll explain everything to you when I’m ready.” He said it so softly that it instantly made Jaemin feels a little sad again.


He just keep looking at the older boy, deeply, thinking if the older are really saying the truth, if he really meant it when he said that he was sorry. He really wanted to trust Mark again, but it just seem hard, for now.


He took Mark’s hands in his, “I forgive you, I already did, Mark. But what you did to me in the past, its just so—I need more time to give you my trust again. I’m sorry…” he said softly and Mark shook his head, “No, no its okay! I totally understand, Nana. I’m just—I’ll try my best to gain your trust again and make everything works out for us if…” Mark’s words were trailed off, thinking that he might went too far there.


Jaemin give a light squeeze on the older’s hand, “Let’s take it slow, okay?” He said with a sad smile on his face and Mark nodded to his words—its better than never got this chance at all.


Mark moves his face closer towards Jaemin’s, “I’ll wait for you.” He smiled as he pressed his cheeks against the younger’s before planting a kiss on his cheek, “Get inside, Nana. Its getting cold out here.” He smiled at Jaemin as he nodded his chin at the building behind the blonde boy.


Jaemin just unsurely waved his hand at the older as he can still feel his heart beating uncontrollably, “Get home safely, Mark.” Jaemin said with a small smile on his face before he got into the dorm building, watching Mark leaving the parking lot.


As Jaemin was walking towards his dorm, he keep thinking if this was the best for him and Mark—he doesn’t want to get his hope up nor that he wants to give Mark a false hope. He isn’t so sure about getting back with him, but he still couldn’t let him go.


But then, he remembered something.


i’m home. [11.43 PM]


[11.44 PM] Get some rest.
[11.44 PM] Good night, Nana :)


good night, jeno^^ [11.45 PM]


“Where’s Jeno?” that’s what Jaemin said the first time he saw Donghyuck and Renjun on their usual table in canteen without his roommate’s presence.


“We didn’t see him in the class either, Nana.” Renjun shrugged his shoulder as he keep eating his food, seems unbothered and Donghyuck is only keeping his mouth shut the whole time. “Hyuckie, you okay?” Jaemin smiled softly at him and the tan-skinned boy just nodded his head in silence that it made Jaemin kind of sad. Is he still mad at him about what happened last week?


When Jaemin was about to sit down on the empty seat across Donghyuck’s, he heard Chenle shouting his name from the canteen’s entrance, making everyone instantly stop doing whatever they’re on right at that moment. Jaemin can only slapped his forehead slightly before he waved his hand towards the Chinese boy and Jisung behind him.


When Chenle finally spotted him, he immediately walking through the human ocean until he got to their table. Renjun was looking at him with an unamused look while Donghyuck propped his chin up on his hand, looking at them in silence.


“What are you being so loud for, Zhong Chenle?” Renjun is the one who asked and Chenle just showed him his small pout, “Jisung refusing to do it so I had to do it myself.” He said as he took the empty spot next to Jaemin, while Jisung always sticking next to him.


“Oh! I got something that you guys really have to see!” Chenle whispered to them as he quickly took his phone out from his pocket and immediately opening his gallery.


Once he found the picture, he showed it first to Renjun and Donghyuck who seemed so curious about it. Renjun almost screamed the first time he realized who it was on the picture, before Donghyuck can cover up his mouth with his hand. Strangely, Donghyuck still seem so unbothered.


“What is it, guys? Let me see it!” Jaemin pouted, giving his grabby hands at Chenle’s phone. The Chinese boy immediately turned to him and gave the blonde boy his phone, “Please don’t scream, Nana.” Chenle said with his wide eyes and Jaemin nodded his head.


When he finally saw the picture, he didn’t understand it at first, because it was just showing Hyena with her bare shoulder making an appearance and her slightly messy hair, while she was leaning her head on a guy’s chest. Jaemin had to take a closer look at the guy in the picture when he realized that the guy—it’s Jeno. He can recognized him just by his lips.


“I was lucky that I can screen-captured it before she deleted the picture. Jeno really need to be careful around this crazy girl.” Chenle said as he keep looking at the picture once he got his phone back on his hand. Jaemin on the other side didn’t say anything else, he took his phone out from his pocket and immediately dialing Jeno’s number. It took a few times before the other line picking up the call.


Hello?” Hyena’s voice was the first thing that Jaemin heard. “Where’s Jeno?” Jaemin said with his stern voice, suddenly feeling so pissed without him knowing.


Jeno’s taking a shower right now.” Hyena said with her cute tone that Jaemin found really annoying to hear. But before he can continue asking the girl, he heard Jeno’s voice at the back asking for his phone.


Jaemin waited for a moment before he can hear Jeno speaking up from the other line, “What’s up, kid?” the older asked casually and Jaemin gets up from his seat immediately, “You better be careful, Jeno. She posted a picture of you two on her account but she has deleted it now.” he warned him and he can hear Jeno talked to the girl. “What did you do?” he said to the girl and Jaemin can’t clearly caught Hyena’s answer before the call immediately being cut off.


Jaemin looks at his friends who’s been waiting for any news from Jeno, especially Donghyuck and Renjun, “He’s with Hyena? For real? What’s with you two getting fools by your exes, God!” the smaller boy groaned as he can feel that his boyfriend leaning his head on his shoulder, “Baby, I’m done taking care of our kids.” Donghyuck mumbled and the smaller boy slapped his thigh harshly, “Hyuck, this is not the time.” He said before averting his eyes towards Jaemin, “What’s happening, Nana? Please tell us every details of it.” He said sternly and Jaemin just can’t say no to it.


Jaemin then told them everything, since that night when Jeno get back to dorm with a lot of bruises on his face, up until when they take Hyena to stay at the hotel.


“That girl is a crazy bitch. She’s the one who ask to break up now she’s the one who ask for Jeno to come back to her?” Renjun grunts and Donghyuck next to him just let out another sigh, “I was planning for not telling you guys about the picture this morning—” Donghyuck’s words were cut off by Renjun who’s now looking at him in disbelief, “You knew this whole time?” the smaller said as he slapped the younger’s chest and Donghyuck acted like he was hurt, “I just don’t want you to start cursing at people again, Injunnie!” the tan-skinned boy pout as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s small torso.


Choosing to ignore the couple, Jisung turned to looking at Jaemin who’s now seem so lost in thought, “But how’d you get back to the dorm, Nana? Did you took a cab?” he suddenly asked and the other three was looking at Jaemin immediately.


The blonde boy can feel the cold sweat starts to rolling down from his forehead, not knowing how to tell his friends about this, but he also can never hide it from them, right?


“I…asked Mark to pick me up.” He confessed and he can see that Donghyuck nodded his head in silence, which’s a big surprise for Jaemin. Just what kind of reaction is this?


“I kinda have expected it, actually. I’m not that surprised, Nana.” The tan-skinned boy smiled a little at Jaemin before he drinks his sweet ice tea. Jaemin watched his other friends were nodding to Donghyuck’s words, and he felt relieved.



Is this means that its okay for him to get close with Mark again?




The blonde boy almost chocked on his drink when he received a text from Jeno, saying that he’s already back at the dorm.


“Jeno’s back, I gotta go now, guys!” he said as he took his bag that was placed on the floor. When he got up from his seat, Donghyuck tapped his fingers on the table to gained his attention, “You seem so attached to him lately, Nana.” he gives him a teasing smile and Jaemin just standing there looking at the latter confusedly.


“I’m just worried, okay? I once saw him back at the dorm with so much bruises and almost got a heart attack because of it.” He mumbled before he sent a text back to Jeno saying that he’s on his way back to the dorm.


“Do you like him?” The Chinese boy shot him with such a nonsense question and Jaemin just rolled his eyes at the younger who’s now laughing with Jisung, “Oh, please, Lele. I’m not gonna fall for a guy like Jeno.” He said the last time before he drink the beer that left on his glass before finally leaving the restaurant as he can hear Renjun shouting, “You never know when that feelings come to you, Nana!”


Once Jaemin got to the dorm, he doesn’t wait for the older to open the door for him—he just barks in into the place and a view of Jeno sitting on the couch with a towel on his hand now brings the relieve into his chest.


“I was so panicked when I got no news from you this morning!” he said as he closed the front door, trying to look as calm as he could.


Jeno turned to look at him with a small smile, “You don’t believe me if I said that I can fight that guy?” he giggled when the younger throw a cushion at him.


Jaemin sat next to Jeno in silence after the older convinced him that he’s okay, that he’s just having a really long talk with Hyena’s boyfriend, which finally solved nicely with Hyena’s boyfriend apologizing for hitting Jeno last week and Jeno cutting off all connection with Hyena—erasing all of his contact from her phone and him blocking her contact as well.


While Jeno was sitting there enjoying the silence that he needs, Jaemin looks at him hesitantly, and Jeno caught it, “Just ask, kid.” He urges the younger which Jaemin only replied with a tight smile on his lips, “Junnie accidentally tell me about that today…” he said, still feeling so hesitant.


“About me and Hyena?” Jeno guessing and Jaemin nodded his head immediately, “About how the two of you actually broke up…” he added as he looked away from Jeno, a small pout making an appearance his lips.


The older let out a small huff out of his lips as he looked up at the ceiling of the room, thinking on how he’s going to start about everything.


“Hey, Nana?” Jeno called for him and Jaemin immediately turned to look at him as he raised his eyebrows at him.


Jeno was hesitant at first, but its okay to try to open up, right?


“Lets hang out tomorrow and I’ll tell you everything.”

Chapter Text

The first thing that Jaemin felt when he’s awake in the middle of that night was that he felt like he’s burning up. He can feel like there’s weight pressing on his chest, hot breathe coming out from his nose and he was sweating so much.


“Oh, not again...” He mumbled as he turned on the cold side of his bed, pulling his blanket up to his neck, trying hard to get back into his sleep.


He doesn’t realize just how long it took for him to finally fall asleep again until he heard knocks coming from his door.


“Kid, you awake?” he can hear Jeno’s voice coming from the other side of the door and he remembered that they have plan to hang out today.


He sit up too fast on the bed with a painful headache as the effect. He tried to ignore the headache but its just too much, so he choose to take a moment before he finally gets up from his bed, slowly this time.


When he finally opened the door, he didn’t expect Jeno to still standing there right in front of his door waiting for him.


Jeno was looking at him confusedly as he cupped the younger’s face in his hands, “You’re burning up, Jaemin!” he said with worry was painted clear on his tone as he swept away the fringes that stick to the younger’s forehead with his palm.


Jaemin pulled his hands off softly as he shook his head, “I’m fine, Jen.” He smiled at the older but Jeno just can’t take it, “Lets go see a doctor. Come on.” He said as he goes to his room and took his jacket for Jaemin to wear.


And Jaemin on the other hand can only let out a sigh when Jeno held his hand, leading both of them getting out of the dorm.




“Hey, Hyuck. I don’t think I can go to the class today.” Jeno said when the other line has finally picked up his call. “Is this about Hyena again? Jeno, I swear to God—


“No, its Jaemin. I have to take care of him. He got a fever.” He said calmly as he took a glance at the sleeping Jaemin on the passenger seat. “The doctor has given him the meds, he said that he need to get plenty of rest. He also said that I have to keep an eye on Jaemin.” He added.


Oh no, my poor baby. I’ll come over with the other when the class is over, okay? For now, please take a good care of him.” Donghyuck said and Jeno nodded his head, “Don’t worry, Hyuck. I will.” He said as he placed his hand atop the younger’s head, before the call was finally cut off.


Once they got back to the dorm, Jeno immediately helped Jaemin to get into his bed again before he went to the bathroom to prepare the wet towel to cooling down his fever.


“Hey, Jen?” Jaemin called when Jeno was about to put the wet towel on his forehead and Jeno answers him with only a hum and a small smile on his lips.


“You can tell me about you and Hyena now, I’ll listen.” The blonde said as he turned on his side when he felt that his back was getting too warm.


Jeno shook his head as he tried to keep the wet towel stayed still on Jaemin’s forehead, “You need to rest, Nana.” He said softly and Jaemin gives him a pout, “I don’t like it when you’re being nice.” He mumbled and Jeno raised his eyebrows at that, “Why, though?”


Because I might feel things…


“You promised to tell me about it today!” Jaemin tried to change the topic and he can hear that Jeno was chuckling, “You’re so persistent, kid.” He said and Jaemin didn’t answer him, he just keep looking at him trying to intimidate him.


And of course, being the ‘weak’ one he is, Jeno rolled his eyes at the younger boy, “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you the story, okay.” he said and Jaemin gave him a wide smile.


Jaemin moves to the other side of his bed so that Jeno can sit next to him, “Come, Jeno!” he said so happily that Jeno can never say no to him.


Jeno tried to sit comfortably on the bed, leaning his back on the headboard, with Jaemin still looking at him with his child-like smile that Jeno had to playfully move the wet towel on Jaemin’s forehead down to his face, “Stop looking at me like that!” he chuckled and he can hear that the younger was groaning at him.


“Jeno! Can you just tell me the story?” Jaemin complained again and Jeno just nodded at him, “Okay, okay! Jeez, you’re like an old lady when you’re sick, huh? So noisy.” He stuck out his tongue at the younger and Jaemin returned the same thing at him.


There’s a small pause before Jeno started to talk again, “Um… So, I started dating Hyena when I was in 3rd grade in high school.” He locked his eyes to the ceiling of the room, “There’s nothing interesting about our love story though, but people keep saying that me and her were like the prince and princess of the school at that time.” Jeno said as he checked on the towel on the younger’s forehead.


As he was squeezing out the water off the towel, Jeno continued to talk, “She made me the happiest when we’re still dating, Jaem. She’s so kind, the sweetest, the most caring girl I’ve ever know. Not gonna lie, but she’s just the best of the best.” The black-haired boy said as he let out a sigh when he remembered about all of those beautiful times with Hyena.


But then he shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know, it just seems like things have changed since that day she came back after the welcoming party in her faculty that night. She started to distance herself, keep saying that she’s busy when I ask her to meet up with me, our texting also growing smaller every single day.” He frowned when he can feel the pain is back on his chest, so Jaemin hold his hand and gave him a light squeeze, telling him that everything’s okay now.


“Until one day, there’s this rumor about me throwing her away because I found a new girl to play with and I was like, the fuck? I was the one who was being dumped by her, though? But in the end, I just tried to ignore it, you know? And people keep saying bad things about me, saying that I have a good face for nothing and such things.” He said.


Jeno was about to put the wet towel back on Jaemin’s forehead again, but the younger keep saying no to him, “Jeno, I heard that she’s gone after that, is it true?” Jaemin asked to distract the older boy and Jeno nodded his head, “Yeah, after she ask for a break up, she didn’t say anything else and she left just like that. And not too long after that, I found out that she’s the one who made up all the rumors about me. Since then, I don’t know, I found it hard to trust anyone.” He shrugged his shoulder but then he smiled at the younger boy, “But it doesn’t seem so hard after I met someone, though.” He added as he put the towel back into the bowl and placed it under Jaemin’s bed.


Jaemin frowned at him, placing his hands right between his warm cheek and his fluffy pillow, “Who is it?” he blinked his eyes as he asked the older boy curiously.


The older just smiled cheekily at him before he shook his head, “Can’t tell you, sorry kid.” He said as he poked his cheek which is succeed on making Jaemin pissed.


When the younger was about to throw his so-weak-fist at Jeno, the older was fast to catch it, “Just rest now, Jaemin. I’ve told you all the stories that I have for you.” Jeno said as he stuck out his tongue at him again. And suddenly, a call comes on his phone.


“Yes, Renjun?” Jeno said as he answered the call. “Open the door, we’re here.” The other line said and Jeno throws a surprised look at Jaemin before he gets up from the bed, “Okay, wait a second.” He said before he finally cut off the call.


“Why, Jeno? Something happen with Junnie?” the younger asked as he tried to sit up on the bed but Jeno hold him to lay still on the bed. “Our friends are here to see you, Nana. I’ll go get the door.” He smiled at Jaemin as he caressed his head, before he goes out from the room.


“NANA MY BABY!!!” Donghyuck’s scream was coming from the outside and not even a second after it, Donghyuck was already in Jaemin’s room, with Renjun holding tight to his bag, “Calm down or I’m gonna break up with you, Lee Donghyuck.” He said and the tan-skinned boy immediately wrapped his arms around his small torso, planting lots of kisses on his head.


Renjun was looking at Jaemin who’s now giving them his disgusted look, “This is what I love about him, Nana.” The smaller boy said with his proud smile before giving a peck on Donghyuck’s lips to make him stop.


“Ugh, can you two old couple move away? I’m about to see my future husband here.” Now Jisung’s voice was heard as he came into the room with Chenle following him right behind, and Jeno also comes back not too long after it with the food that their friends brought for Jaemin.


“Nana, what’s happening? You’re still fine since last night when we hang out, though?” Chenle asked as he’s standing next to the bed, placing his palm on the older’s forehead, “I don’t know, Lele… It came just like that.” Jaemin said as he was looking at Jeno who’s now standing on the doorway, looking at him with a small smile.


As Jaemin was finishing his food, the six of them were having their time together in the small bedroom. Though some curses were thrown from Jeno’s and Donghyuck’s mouths, Renjun doesn’t seem really care about them, while Jisung and Chenle were also keep busying themselves with the game they’re on at the moment.


“Hey, did Mark knows that you’re sick today?” Renjun suddenly asked when he finished feeding the younger boy and Jaemin’s eyes lit up when he heard the question, but he quickly shook his head, “I haven’t talk to him today…” the blonde boy mumbled.


“Maybe he’s busy, Na…” Donghyuck smiled at him, just to encourage the sick boy and he nodded, “Yeah, maybe…” Jaemin answered before he pulled his blanket up to his neck, still showing a small pout on his lips.


Jeno, getting the small sign that Jaemin gave, immediately clapping his hands, “Alright, that’s it, guys. The kid need to get some rest now. Its getting pretty late now.” he suddenly said that it brings some complains coming from their friends.


“You act like his mother, Jeno!” Jisung grunts as he picked up his bag that he previously throws next to Jaemin’s bed.


“Jeez, never knew Jeno can be someone so protective like this.” Renjun said as he gets up from the bed and linked his arm with Donghyuck’s.


“Just say that you want to spend some alone time with Nana, you’re not even that slick about it, Jen.” The tan-skinned boy stuck out his tongue at the said friend.


“Jeno is no fun!” Chenle shouts at the older boy as he stomped his feet.


And Jeno just shook his head after hearing the non-stop complains coming from them as he tried to push them out of the room, “I don’t care with what you guys are saying!” he said, still with his expression-less face.


Once they’re all finally gone from their dorm, Jeno can only letting out a sigh as he leaned his head on the door.


When Jeno is back to Jaemin’s room, he can see the the younger boy has finally fall deep into his sleep. So Jeno sat on the edge of the bed as he keep watching him sleeping.


“I feel like a creep…” he mumbled, rubbing his own face harshly before he gets up again from the bed. When he was about to go out from the room, he heard Jaemin calling for him.


“Jeno, where are you going?” the younger asked and Jeno immediately turned to look at him, “You need to get some rest, kid. It must be a tiring day for you.” He said softly, his hand was already placed on the doorknob of Jaemin’s bedroom.


And to his surprise, Jaemin shook his head with a glimpse of sadness were drawn on his face, “Stay, Jeno. Don’t go.” He said as he tried to sit up on the bed again and Jeno was quick to help him up.


“What even am I gonna do here, kid?” the older asked, some kind in annoyance, but Jaemin just gives him a pout that it made his heart softened again.


“You can give me a head massage!” Jaemin throws a small grin and Jeno just gives him a confused look, “I don’t even know how to do it, Jaemin.” He lied, which made Jaemin quickly shook his head, “Just put your hand on my head and give it light squeezes with your fingers.” He said as he lay down on his bed again with his eyes closed, waiting for Jeno to do what he asked him to do.


Jeno was only looking at him at first but he gives up anyway.


He slowly sit down on the bed again and put his hands on each side of Jaemin’s head before softly combing the younger’s blonde hair with his fingers and gives light massage on his scalp.


“That’s good, Jeno. That feels good.” The younger said as he keep his eyes closed and Jeno smiled at him, “You really have to pay me back after this, kid. I’m not doing this for free.” He said and Jaemin just answered him with his chuckles.


The room is now falling into another comfort silence again. Jeno was too immersed on massaging Jaemin’s head that he doesn’t even realized that he’s been watching the younger’s face the entire time.


“Jeno, why are your hands cold?” Jaemin suddenly said and it made Jeno moves his hands away from Jaemin’s head reflectively.


Jaemin opened his eyes, “Jeno?” he tried to reach out to the older’s hands but the sound of his phone’s ringtone surprised both of them. They were only looking at each other before Jeno’s the one who breaks away and took Jaemin’s phone from the nightstand.


“Its Mark.” The older said coldly as he handed the phone to the owner and Jaemin gladly took it, immediately answering the call, “Mark!” he said too excitedly, making his voice cracked as the result.


Hi, you good, Nana?” the other line said with his worry tone and Jaemin nodded his head though he knows that Mark wouldn’t even see him nodding, “I’m good, just got a little fever.” He chuckled.


There’re shuffled noises coming from the other line which Jaemin believed that Mark was trying to find his comfortable position on his bed, “Have you drink your medicine?” he asked with words muffled over his pillow.


“I have!” Jaemin smiled, but when he saw that Jeno was about get up from his bed, he immediately hold his hand—his cold hands—to make him stay, “Uh… Mark, I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay? I think I’m going to sleep now. Good night.” He quickly said as he keep his eyes on Jeno and hangs up the call immediately when he have heard Mark replying to his words.


Jaemin put his phone down on his bed, eyes were locked on Jeno, “Where are you going?” he asked the older boy curiously.


Jeno just shook his head uncertainly, “I’m tired, Jaemin. I need to get some sleep too.” He said as he tried to take the younger’s hand off of him.


Hearing Jeno’s response, Jaemin shifted on his position to move closer towards the older, “B-but I don’t wanna be alone…” the blonde said and Jeno can feel that his heart was about to scream at that moment.




“I’m afraid of those bad dreams, Jeno… Please, stay...” he tried to hold in the quaver in his voice which is failed.


Seeing how Jaemin is right now making him feel like a bad guy if he didn’t comply to his wish so that he finally agreeing to Jaemin but with one condition that he’ll sleep on the chair while he waits for Jaemin to sleep. But of course being the little kid he is, Jaemin keep insisting that its okay for Jeno to sleep next to him, because they’re friends now, he said.


And that’s how they ended up sleeping next to each other, with Jaemin sticking close to Jeno.


The first 2 hours they got into their sleep, Jaemin was awake from his sleep with so much sweat running down all over his face and breath has become unsteady.


Those cars were keep coming at me, Jeno…” that’s what Jaemin keep saying when Jeno’s also awake from his sleep. Jaemin was still trying to stop his cries and Jeno also trying to soothe him by rubbing his back softly, “Its okay, I’m here, Nana. I’ll protect you from those cars, okay?” his half-asleep self said, not even understanding why he even told Jaemin that.


Jaemin nodded his head slowly as he lays on the bed again, holding tight to his blanket as he keep looking at the moon-shaped night lamp on his nightstand. Jeno was looking at Jaemin softly before he followed him, trying to get their sleep once again.


“Jeno…” the younger whispered, pulling a small part of Jeno’s sleeve. Jeno who haven’t got into their sleep now opened up his eyes again and met with Jaemin’s glossy one.


Jaemin didn’t say anything though, so Jeno had to start the conversation for them, “You can say it, Nana…” he said sleepily.


“C-can you…hold me?” Jaemin asked hesitatingly, keep rubbing his teary eyes, trying to prevent himself from crying again.


Jeno didn’t even need to think before agreeing to Jaemin as he opened his arms for him, “Come here, I’ll hold you.” He said casually and Jaemin, without any second thought, immediately throwing himself into Jeno’s arms, burying his face right above Jeno’s collarbone.


With that, the bad dreams have decided to leave Jaemin’s head and both of them can now have their peaceful sleep.




The next morning when Jaemin was awake from his nice sleep, he’s being welcomed by Jeno’s handsome face and his body was wrapped close to the older’s.


Jaemin did remember that he’s the one who asked Jeno to sleep here with him, but to be reminded that he was the one who asked Jeno to hold him while he was asleep is just too embarrassing to remember.


He covered his face with both of his hands, “Why did I even do that?” he keep mumbling the same thing, doesn’t even realized that his voice has successfully waking up the older boy from his sleep.


“Do you feel better?”


Jaemin looks up and he can see that Jeno was already looking at him with his small smile and Jaemin, being the panicked one, pushing Jeno away a little harsh that Jeno almost fall down from the bed.


“The fuck, Na Jaemin!” Jeno groaned, “So you really are feeling better now, huh? I don’t need to look after you anymore, right?” he said as he quickly gets up from Jaemin’s bed, still feeling a little betrayed by the younger’s reaction just now.


“I’m-I’m sorry… I was surprised that we were that close…” the younger said as he sat up on the bed and Jeno just shrugged his shoulder sulkily, somehow feeling a little salty that Jaemin didn’t remember that it was actually he was the one who asked Jeno to hold him last night.


Jeno was about to go out from the room when Jaemin speaks up again, “And—and thank you, Jeno, for holding me close…” Jaemin said with so much nervousness, he was afraid that Jeno would made fun of him, but instead, he got a pat on his head, “I’m glad that it made you feel better, Nana.” Was all he heard coming from Jeno before the older left his room.


With his pounding heart, he check out his phone, just in case that his friends were texting him about the class, since he was planning on skipping his classes for today too.


But then he heard knocks on his door, and when he was looking at his door opening, there’s Mark with his sweet smile for him only to see, but somehow, he felt a little disappointed that it wasn’t the person that he was expecting to see.


“Nana, how are you feeling today?” the older said as he sat on the edge of the bed, placing a bouquet of flowers on the bed near his legs.


Jaemin was only smiling at him when Mark was giving him a kiss on the back of his hand before he intertwined their hands.


“I’m feeling so much better today, Mark. You don’t have to come to see me, though. Its just a fever.” Jaemin said when Mark cupped his face in his hands, bringing their face close to each other.


Jaemin was about to pulled away but when he felt that Mark was only placing his forehead against him, he’s somehow felt relieved. “Ah, seems like your fever has cooling down now, hm?” the older said as he pulled away slightly from him and Jaemin stuck out his tongue at him, “I told you so!” he chuckled but when he heard another knocks on his door, Jaemin turned his head just to see Jeno was standing there with his cold eyes, again.


“I’m going to my class. Don’t forget to lock the door, kid.” He said it just like that before leaving the two of them, without even waiting for Jaemin to answer him.


“Did he always acted like that towards you, Nana?” Mark asked as he gave soft caresses on Jaemin’s hair and the younger just shook his head, “He used to be a lot softer towards me these few days, but it seems like today is not that day.” Jaemin pouted, leaning forward just to put his head on Mark’s shoulder.


There’s a small pause before Mark speak up again, “I wanna spend my day with you today,” he showed Jaemin a shy smile, “Can I, baby?” he asked so tenderly that it made Jaemin’s heart fluttering and no, he can’t say no to that, “Sure.” He answered with his sweet smile and the older gave a soft kiss on his forehead as a small gift for the sick boy.