Tonight was the night of your best friend’s 30th birthday. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about it so was planning on getting very drunk. She was very insistent that everyone attending needed to as well. You had just finished your makeup and curled against Tim on the couch. You had another 20 minutes before you needed to leave.
You rested your head on Tim’s shoulder, “I could stay here and watch nature documentaries with you.”
Tim kissed the top of your head, “are you mocking me or being serious?”
“I’m being serious.” You turned your head, placed your chin on his shoulder instead. “Then we can cuddle, or bone.”
Tim chuckled, “bone?”
You nodded, “you’re a bone expert.”
Tim slowly closed his eyes, “I have a PhD in it.” Tim ran his fingers up your thigh, “maybe I’ll have to interrupt the party with an emergency. A sudden bone emergency.”
You smiled at that prospect. You moved your head slightly to kiss Tim. This evolved into making out. As you left you really hoped he would come interrupt the party.
The room feels the slightest bit crooked when you stand. It’s been awhile since you’ve gone out and had 6 drinks. College you would be embarrassed at how you are handling your alcohol, or rather not handling it. Look off to the side as you walk to the bar to help carry another round, you see something you can do to make college you proud. Tim. He came. You decide to make him come in the bathroom. You apologize to your friend. She sees Tim, laughs, and tells you to have fun.
Tim is sitting at the end of a group of guys. You didn’t see him come in. You had noticed the guys sitting there. Some of your group had been picking out which ones they found most attractive. You stand in front of Tim and extend your hand. The slightest bit of confusion crosses his face before he takes your hand. You lead him into the men’s room.
Once inside, you push him against the wall then eagerly kiss him. He grabs onto you tightly. He fists your hair as you slide your tongue into his mouth. That’s new. You like it. You move to his neck. Sucking from his collarbone to below his ears. Tim starts spewing expletives. You can feel him growing hard against you quickly. He must have a kink you didn’t know about. He moans loud as you nip at his earlobe.
You kiss down his neck again. Between kisses you say, “you’re so verbal.”
Tim whines a little as you grind your hips against him, “yeah, my mouth gets me in trouble sometimes.”
You pause for a second. You know Tim is sassy and sarcastic. It’s one of the things you love about him. He knows how to reign it in though. This comment surprised you. Tim rubs against you and regains your concentration. “I like it.”
Tim grabs your hair again and attaches his mouth to your favorite spot on your neck. He pulls back, “you’re so fucking hot.”
You grab the front of his shirt and pulled him from the wall. You guide him into a stall, locking the door behind you. Tim just stands there for a second. You unbutton his jeans and pull them down along with his boxer briefs.
Tim immediately does so. You slide your underwear off before you straddle him and go to town.
You grab your underwear off the floor to hide in your purse when you have it again. There is a small black tube on the ground.You pick it up and look at it. It says iSplack. You’ve never seen this before. It looks like black lipstick.
“Is this lipstick?” You laugh and hold it out to Tim. “Why do you have this?”
Tim grabs it, “I had a baseball game earlier. I didn’t want to lose it.”
You back against the stall door, “what? You don’t play baseball.”
Tim opens his mouth, huffs out a little and tilts his head, “I’ve played my whole life. My team, the D-Backs are here for a tournament.”
A couple things flash before your eyes that were odd. Tim wasn’t wearing a belt. He usually just makes soft moans when you have sex. He rarely curses. You cover your mouth with your hands. Surely not.
You gulp, “who the fuck are you?”
Tim laughs without any humor, “I didn’t realize that was a concern of yours. But I’m Murray, Pat Murray.”
You feel nauseous. It’s not from the alcohol. You pull your phone from your dress pocket. You make the screen light up and show it to Pat. “So not Tim Murphy? My boyfriend.”
Pat grabs the phone from you to examine it closer, “fuck.”
“Yeah.” You slide down the door to the ground. “Fuck.”
Tim is in bed when you get home. As soon as you see him, you start balling again. The entire Uber ride home you were crying. The driver kept asking if you were okay. You are definitely not. You can’t get yourself you crawl into bed with Tim after what you did. You curl up into a ball on the ground.
Tim hears you. He gets out of bed, sits down next to you, and tries to pull your head into his lap.
You move away from his touch, “no!” You feel like you don’t deserve his comfort. Tim asks you what’s wrong but you can’t get the words out. The tears aren’t helping. You finally get your phone out. You took a picture of Pat to show Tim. He’s confused.
You choked back tears, “Pat Murray. He looks like you.”
Tim puts a hand on his chest in surprise, “he does! Did you think he was me?”
Tim puts the phone down, starting to connect the dots. “How much did you think he was me?”
Fresh tears come. Tim puts his arm around your shoulders, holding you tight against him. You finally say, “a lot.”
Tim takes a deep breath, “it’s not unheard of. I think I read there are theoretically 6 other people on the planet that look exactly like you.”
You sniffle, “I’m so so so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
Tim, “yes, I can. I think I need to see this man in person. Did you get any other information about him?”
You take your phone and unlock it, “I have his phone number. I thought maybe you’d want to talk to him. Or I’d ask him to talk to you so you knew I really did think it was you.”
Tim ran his hand up and down your arm, “I’ll talk to him. I believe you though. I’m curious if there are other doppelgangers of me nearby.”
“I promise I won’t sleep with any more of them.”
Tim almost wanted to laugh, “yes. I would prefer that.”
Tim and you traveled into the suburbs to watch Pat play baseball. You weren’t sure what part was weirder to you. That you were sitting in some stands watching the man you accidentally cheated with with your boyfriend, or that said boyfriend was genuinely curious to meet the man you cheated with.
Tim had called Pat. You were surprised at how civil Tim’s end of the conversation was. So here you were. Watching Tim watch his unrelated twin play baseball.
Tim was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, fingers laced together, “this is like watching all my inner rage take human form and play baseball.”
Pat walked up to you guys after the game. He took off his hat and scratched his head, “this is so fucking weird. Oh hey, Zapata.”
One of Pat’s teammates walked up from behind Tim. He hit Pat’s shoulder with his hat. He started to say something before turning to look at you then Tim. His eyebrows were almost touching. He looked back at Pat, to Tim, to Pat, then to Tim again, “oh hell no. There’s two.” Zapata walked off to the rest of the team before he even said whatever he came over for.
Tim laughed, “yeah, so basically this is genes running out of options. It’s like a Rubik’s cube. There are a lot of variations. Eventually you end up in the same patterns. It’s a very large Rubik’s cube.”
Pat smiles, points to Tim while he looks at you, “you picked the right one of us. Pat looked back at Tim, “if you ever need a stand in or something. Let me know. NOT with her though. I won’t do that again.”
You grabbed Tim’s hand. Tim smirked, “yeah. I can fill in for you too. I think I can strike out and scream.” Tim’s face changes into a playful smile, “just kidding man. That last hit was really good. My family has Yankee’s season tickets. We should go sometime.”
Pat’s mouth hangs open. The last thing he expected was the boyfriend of his bathroom tryst to invite him to a Yankees’ game. “Yeah. I’d love that. I think you may be my new best friend.”
Tim put his arm around you, “maybe we can find Y/N’s doppelganger and we’ll all hang out.”
You could see all of Pat’s teammates watching the three of you. A blonde with a British accent wasn’t exactly quiet when he asked, “are their cocks the same?” The team laughed. Pat looked like he could scream again.
You turned towards the dugout. You pointed to Tim, “his is bigger.”
Pat shrugged and Tim looked proud.