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a love she hated

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Alice had always been good at hiding her feelings. With a husband who could read and alter her emotions, and a brother who could read her mind, how could she not be? It was very easy for her to replace words for feelings with other ones, to pretend love was hate and friendship was enmity. Soon, the meanings of words mixed up in her mind.

Bella was her best friend. They were like sisters, telling each other secrets and going out on outings; Alice would give Bella advice on fashion and studies and Bella would lend her books to read. She had always been a confidant, a reliable person to lean on in times of difficulty, comfort in the shape of a waifish girl. They were close, so close, but never close enough. They had gone from strangers to acquaintances to friends to sisters...and stopped there.

And when Bella made a comment about being best friends or sisters, Alice would laugh lightly and agree. She would play along with Bella, and they dreamed wistfully of an eternal bond where they could be each other's sibling that they didn't have as humans. She would offer Bella some fashion advice which would of course go ignored, and Bella would sniff and toss her hair, and they would giggle. She had her gender as a shield, and nobody ever assumed Alice felt anything more than familial love for the brown-haired human girl. Still, when she thought of herself and Bella, her stomach would flutter and her heart would clench in her chest.

She knew she was in love with Bella Swan.
And she hated that love with a vengeance.