Gil was feeling....odd. no, maybe not odd. Actually yes odd. But jealous? No. Definitely not. It was something more like confusion than jealousy. Really, it was!
Watching Audrey run fingertips along Jay’s arm while she let out an extremely high pitched, forced sounding laugh made something twist in his gut. Something that wasn’t anger, but more along the lines between sadness and disappointment and confusion. So, as said, odd. Not jealous.
Because Jay was too kind to people to tell them to lay off, even when they knew he had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who just so happened to be frowning from across the courtyard as he watched a cotton-candy-haired girl flirt with Jay, who smiled along like always.
That’s what was rather...difficult about dating someone like Jay. And Gil really couldn’t blame them, really. Jay was all muscles and long hair and a witty smile that made everyone swoon. And Gil was just...Gil. Jay could have anybody he wanted, whether it was off on the Isle or here in Auradon. People gravitated towards him, it was natural, he’s a likeable guy.
But that didn’t make it any less hard for a certain boy who was dating him. It made him feel, well, insecure? Yes. Maybe that was the right word. Because Jay, this tall, beautiful guy, could have any boy, girl he wanted. And yet he was with Gil. He should be feeling special...right? But instead he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. And insecurity. And...just odd. As if he was keeping jay from the opportunity of dating all the great looking people that were literally all right there.
And so that chunk of oddness in his tummy made gil get up from his spot in the courtyard, toss the rest of his raspberries and head back to his room.
Gil stared at his reflection in the mirror hanging in his bedroom, frowning at the picture staring back at him. He sighed as footsteps sounded in the hallway, signaling that Jay was home. He scrubbed at his face, angry at himself for being so soft about something so little.
Such an opposite to your father. Such a disappointment. Quit being so goddamn sensitive.
The doorknob turned and in walked Jay in all his golden glory.
“Hi baby,” Jay smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s cheek before sitting on the bed to remove his boots.
Gil did his best to give a smile back. “Hey.”
That oddness from earlier hadn’t gone away as he watched Jay lay down through the mirror. He turned on his side, propping up on an elbow, Gil facing away from him. He couldn’t look him in the eye right now. It was stupid, he knew that much. But it was still some sort of painful.
“You weren’t in the courtyard anymore when I came back to the table.”
Gil sighed. “You seemed busy with Audrey.”
“She was just asking me something stupid about my hair, it’s nothing to worry about,” Jay snorted, smiling at his boyfriend--well, the back of his boyfriend, who for some reason wouldn’t look at him.
“You’re mad at me?” he asked, sitting up more on the bed.
“Then why won’t you look at me?’
“You just got here ten seconds ago.”
“Gil, did I do something?”
“I don’t know.”
I told you Audrey’s nothing to worry about.”
“I don’t care about Audrey!”
Neither of them said anything for a while. Gil never yelled, ever. He was the epitome of good. Of kind. That only made this situation all the more odd. He blinked back the salty water pooling somewhere in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to yell.”
It came out a whisper. Gil leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the cold glass, letting a single tear slip. Just one.
“I know,” Jay replied.
At that, Gil finally allowed himself to turn around and look at Jay, who sat at the edge of the bed with worried eyes.
“Jay?” Gil asked, fiddling with his fingers and flicking his eyes towards the ground.
“Why are you dating me?
Jay looked up at him like he was the most insane person in Auradon.
“I asked why you’re dating me.”
“I don’t think I understand.”
Gil sighed, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He wasn't really sure when it got there.
“Why are you dating me? You could have anybody Jay, anybody. There’s so many beautiful people in this stupid place with their designer clothes and their fancy shoes and you could have any one of them you want, yet you stay with me. Me and my ratty clothes and messy hair. You don’t have to feel bad for me, Jay. You can date who you want.”
A few more tears slipped their way down Gil’s cheeks. Just a few.
“Baby,” Jay started, letting a calloused palm hold Gil’s cheek. “I don't care about any of those things, okay?”
A few more tears.
“There’s no other boy for me. No other girl. I stay with you because I want you, Gil. I like you. And the fact that you get a kick out of a berry bush and penguins and adventuring. Or how you’re kind to everyone you come across no matter how shitty people have been to you. I want you, Gil.” He looked up at his boyfriend, who couldn’t keep himself from letting out a full on sob. “That shit doesn’t matter to me. We’re both from the Isle. I don’t care about any of that.”
“Okay,” Gil whispered, letting Jay pull him into straddling his lap, pressing tender kisses to Gil’s cheek.
“I want you, as long as you’ll have me, okay? Nobody else matters.” Jay pressed their foreheads together as his fingers wandered down towards the waistband of Gil’s pants.
“Yeah,” he whispered back, shuddering at the sudden contact. “Okay.”
“Good. Now let me get you the hell out of these pants. The stupid things had me wanting to fucking pounce you all day.” He bit Gil’s neck.
Gil laughed, genuinely, and let Jay do his thing. It was an odd feeling, indeed.