Chapter 1: first time
“The most beautiful part is, I wasn’t even looking when I found you.”
Jungkook's adoptive mother smiled at him with eyes that showed him kindness, something he'd never experienced before and he felt a little startled. From his peripheral, he could even see his new dad smiling at him with gentle eyes. His previous father, that psychotic man, had always been angry at him for some reason or the other.
"Jungkookie," his new mom started "I have a son, he's about five years older than you, which makes him 18. I just know you two will get along. He's a pretty nice boy and I'm sure he'd love to meet you. Are you excited?"
Jungkook just nodded at her. He wondered maybe if he said no would they also beat him up like his dad used to? He decided he didn't want to know. It had taken him a lot of time to realise that kids weren't to be treated how his father would treat him, and even more courage to call the cops on his dad with Taehyung's parents help. He had now found a new home... he hoped it would be nothing like his past one.
His new parents, who were kind enough to actually adopt him and let him become a part of their lives, led him into their big house- which they said was apparently now his as well- and he saw a tall boy sitting on a big brown-coloured bean bag with some sort of black plastic object in his hands. He remembered seeing it at his friend Taehyung's house, that one time he had gone there to play, only to return home and get scolded by his dad for staying out of the house for so long and then carrying out his punishment by wiping the floors of his house squeaky clean with his tiny 8-year old hands. It had been a bad day for Kookie. His body was on the verge of giving up.
The boy lets his video game controllers go and stands up on seeing his parents, his scrutinising eyes fixated on jungkook, who squirmed under this boy's sharp gaze. And then all Jungkook could do was look.
Jeon Jungkook was just 13 years old when he met Kim Seokjin for the first time.
The 18 year old was... good, no, great looking to say the least. He had such a beautiful face that jungkook was ready to bet his life was sculpted by the gods themselves. Paired with wide striking eyes and a sharp nose, and lips so plump Jungkook wanted to touch them and maybe even leave a peck on the plush things if possible, which the older boy opened to say,
"Hey there, Jungkookie, my name is Seokjin. You can call me hyung from now on. If you need anything just let hyung know!"
Jungkook could only stare at this boy, mouth agape, who really looked more like a man, with wide awe-struck eyes. He briefly wondered if his new brother would like him. He didn't know why it was suddenly so necessary but Jungkook felt like if Seokjin didn't accept him, he'd much rather leave everything and go back to his old fucking house.
And then two things happened at once- first, Seokjin smiled at him, and second, Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat.
Jeon Jungkook was only 13 years old when he realised that maybe he had developed a crush on Kim Seokjin, who was also his adoptive brother.
Chapter 2: look what’s gotten into me
This chapter contains minor violence, some sexually explicit stuff so read at your own risk!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
”And then I met you, and slowly but all at once, my whole world began to change.”
Jungkook loved spending time with Seokjin. His hyung was so understanding towards him and showed him so much kindness that no one ever had before. Apparently Seokjin had been informed of what Jungkook's past has been like, and why he was always so shy and reserved and kept to himself. Seokjin didn't make fun of him. Ever. Unlike those kids at his new school, who always laughed at him for being so timid and slow, calling him names, calling him a freak.
It wasn't Jungkook's fault that he'd never experienced even half the things other kids had. But they didn't care. Their awful empty skulls lacked such depth and understanding. Those bullies only wanted to prod and probe Jungkook until they got some sort of reaction out of him, and then bursting into fits of laughter and looking so satisfied as if they'd achieved something huge.
Jungkook could only wonder how pathetic these teenagers were. And on the other hand every time Seokjin laughed was always with him, never at him. He was sure he loved his hyung to death. Platonically or not, as of yet he didn't know.
Right now the duo were on their way back home, Seokjin having picked up Jungkook from his school since the younger wasn't yet familiar with the routes and was only learning how the public transport worked. Jungkook had a lot to learn and experience still, but he was sharp and intelligent and was catching up with everything well. Seokjin had told him many times how good he was doing. Jungkook felt something twist in his gut every time Seokjin praised him for anything at all.
"How's everything going on at school, Jungkook? Are you adjusting well?" Seokjin asked him, but Jungkook was more focused on the muscular arm he had wrapped around the younger's shoulder. He felt warm and giddy.
But he had to reply as well, "Yes hyung, everything's fine, although I did go to school when I was young, it's still quite different you know, I'm just starting to feel a lot more free? And independent too, maybe. I think my grades aren't too bad either."
Jungkook was surprised at himself, he spoke too little with everyone else and always seemed to compensate for all of that while conversing with Seokjin. It made sense though, Seokjin felt like home and he felt like he could continue to chatter and eat his ears off and the elder wouldn't complain.
How Seokjin had managed to slither his way inside Jungkook's mind and thoughts was out of his capability to understand. And how Jungkook had actually let him in so easily, without showing any resistance was even more unbelievable. He thinks Seokjin never even had to try.
"That's great Kookie, but what's your favourite subject though?"
"P.E." He said without a pause and Seokjin chuckled, which went straight to his poor little heart.
"Just wanted to let you know, Jungkook," suddenly Seokjin sounded much more serious than he did just a second ago, "If anyone tries to bother you, anyone at all, you let hyung know. Got it?"
They had stopped walking, and Jungkook was looking up at Seokjin, as the elder returned his gaze. Seokjin looked so serious, so much like that version of himself that Jungkook rarely ever got to see, and he gulped, his heart basically in his throat. Seokjin cared for him so damn much, he was so affectionate, and Jungkook had never known either of these things, never experienced them first-hand. He was so happy to have his hyung in his life that he could quite literally sob right now and let Seokjin know how grateful he was for him. He tried to stabilise his restless heart and then breathed out his promise.
"I will, hyung." His mouth was dry and his voice so breathy, so raspy that it took even him by surprise.
Could Seokjin notice how much he affected Jungkook, mentally and physically?
Momentarily satisfied by Jungkook's answer, Seokjin hugged him closer and the two kept on walking. All Jungkook could think of was what had just happened. Seokjin looked so hot, so fucking serious and absolutely breathtaking that Jungkook could feel himself get hard in his pants and his lower stomach throbbed with want. He felt a little dirty, how he was getting turned on just by his hyung's caring and naturally protective nature. But he couldn't help it. Seokjin was irresistible.
He was so into his thoughts, into Seokjin, that he wasn't even aware of the profanities that were being screamed, that too aimed at him, "Freak, practically a fucking slug, mommy probably left him 'cause he's such a pathetic loser!" that he only realised this when the warmth around his shoulders disappeared, and as he looked to see where hyung had gone, he heard before he saw Seokjin breaking some dude's jaw, and then another's nose and it was crimson and bleeding everywhere.
Jungkook gasped. He briefly wondered that if Seokjin was hurt, he'd rip these two to shreds.
Seokjin was on top of one of the two guys, both his arms around his neck, squeezing, and squeezing so damn tight that Jungkook could see the web of veins protruding out of his hands from under the beautiful tanned skin and his thick muscled biceps flexing as the guy's eyes rolled to the back of his head, and Seokjin told him, in the gravest and most threatening voice Jungkook had ever heard anyone, let alone his hyung make,
"Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare."
And Jungkook looked, and looked some more, and looked until this was imprinted in his memory, until he could forget everything but this, until he would remember nothing but this.
And that is how a 14 year old Jeon Jungkook found himself half an hour later in his bedroom, rutting furiously into the sheets, fists tightly clenching the pillow he laid his head on, whole body trembling, and cumming for the third time that afternoon, the white filth spilling all over as he cried out in pleasure, tears leaking out his eyes so prettily as he then figured out, nothing would ever satiate him unless it was Seokjin.
Jungkook wanted Seokjin's big strong hands around his neck, covered in blood, wanted to get choked until he couldn't breathe, and get fucked so hard that it hurt, with Seokjin mercilessly pounding into him and making him cum again, and again, and again so that he lost himself in his hyung completely.
So that all his hands could write was his name, all his mind could think of was him, and the only word his lips could form was Seokjin.
Let me know if I should continue, I’m kinda nervous hehe :P
Chapter 3: hit me twice so i can really feel it
Big warning for self-harm!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“And suddenly you were everything I cared about.”
It was a Saturday, and their parents had gone out on a sort of date after having worked hard constantly for a long time, with little to no rest. Both were brilliant at their jobs, business partners before having made things more personal than professional.
Jungkook was thankful to them. Jungkook was always thankful. For basically giving him a new chance at life, earning enough for it to last a lifetime and maybe two, and keeping both their sons happy and satisfied. Most of all he was thankful to them for bringing Seokjin into his life, or the other way round, didn't really matter.
Speaking of his relationship with Seokjin, Jungkook was getting drawn in each day, little by little, which now became a bit too much but definitely not enough. He was absolutely infatuated with the elder, his whole world revolving around Seokjin, until Jungkook was sure that if the world had to end today, the only thing that would matter was him and him alone.
Jungkook was currently sprawled across the extremely comfortable bean-bag, next to where his brother was sitting as well, both of them engrossed in a super competitive round of some game Seokjin had mentioned was popular these days. Seokjin had won twice already, and so had Jungkook. The younger was running out of patience, wanting to quickly win and get over with this so that he could coax Seokjin into holding him for a while. Jungkook felt very needy and bratty today.
"Hyung-ah... I'm bored. Let's do something else." He whined at Seokjin.
"What, you don't wanna play anymore? A few hours ago who was complaining in the exact same way that 'Hyung you don't pay attention to me anymore'?" He imitated Jungkook's pleading voice at which the younger giggled.
"Yeah, yeah hyung but I'm bored now so you've got to entertain me. Do something!" He smiled the sweetest smile he could manage.
"If you don't wanna play then let me complete my essay or something. It's already so late and I gotta submit it day after." He spoke while getting up and Jungkook started to panic. He couldn't get enough alone time with Seokjin due to the stupid school and homework already, and yet again Seokjin's attention was going to be on something other than Jungkook and he would not let that happen.
He immediately got up, "Hyung! Don't go, I wanna spend more time with you, how about we cuddle or something? Or we could sing together, you've always loved doing that with me right?"
Seokjin paused and turned around, a hand coming to rest on his waist. This either meant that he was going to be told off or rejected. Or both.
"Jungkook-ah, we've been doing something or the other since morning. It's been literally the whole day and I'm getting tired too. I'll quickly finish up and go to sleep. You need to rest your eyes too." Jungkook was about to say something else, distress clearly visible on his cute bunny face but he was stopped as soon as he opened his mouth to interfere.
"No, you'll listen to hyung and go to sleep. You don't want me getting angry do you?"
Now about that...
No, not really. Jungkook didn't want Seokjin getting upset with him for anything. He had been made well aware about Seokjin's anger issues. The first time he had seen his outburst a month ago when he was being picked up from school by Seokjin, it was a scary and awfully... erotic experience for Jungkook, seeing Seokjin so mad like that, he never wanted to be on the receiving end of his hyung's fury ever in life. He'd been a bit displeased with Jungkook too, for not letting him know their were kids bullying him at school. It was only the reassurance that his hyung's displeasure was purely out of concern that Jungkook didn't crumble down right then and there, out of disappointment with his own self.
But Jungkook couldn't just ignore the tempting voices at the back of his mind, telling him to give in to Seokjin in every way he can, mentally, physically or any other. Let Seokjin break him apart piece by piece, then put him back together however he liked. He wanted to hurt. Wanted him to make Jungkook break and bruise and cry so good that he'd never forget even if he went amnesiac.
Back to the current situation, why would Seokjin hyung get mad at him for something Jungkook wanted so bad? He only wanted to do stuff together with Seokjin, just be with him- he could've fucking crawled on a road embedded with thorns if it lead to Seokjin waiting at the end for him. Wasn't that the simplest thing in the world? His hyung had to understand this or he'd go crazy.
So Jungkook stomped his foot on the floor, petulant like a kid, and gritted out a spiteful, "Hate you hyung," and bolted upstairs angrily, an idea already birthing in his head.
He absolutely ignored (not really) the sound of Seokjin's footsteps, while he shouted behind him, telling him to "Stop right now Jungkook, you're not a kid anymore!" But he was already on to the stairs.
On to the stairs, before he deliberately landed his foot at the wrong step, at the wrong angle, freeing his hold on the banister, successfully falling face-first onto the stairs, as he tumbled down the remaining ones.
He begged to the gods that he'd be injured enough to be unable to walk for at least a day or two.
He felt Seokjin gasp out loud and run up to him. He let out a curse, "Fuck, Kookie, baby are you okay?!"
Finally. His hyung's attention was back on Kookie. He sighed in relief.
Jungkook felt Seokjin's arms coming up around his torso, ever so gently turning him onto his back where he was lying on the hardwood floor. Now Jungkook could see Seokjin's face. Hyung looked very worried, deep concern in his eyes and a troubled expression on his face which Jungkook desperately wanted to kiss away.
"Hyung... ah, shit, I'm so sorry, hyung," Jungkook whimpered as his lips began to wobble and his eyes began tearing up. It was not because of the pain that Jungkook turned emotional, Jungkook was used to it, they were old friends, but because his hyung looked so affected, probably knowing that Jungkook had gotten upset and ended up like this because Seokjin had told him no. If he had just complied to Kookie's demand, they'd have been comfortably laying on the couch but here Seokjin was leaning over a now bruising Jungkook, worried out of his wits.
"Shh, Jungkook-ah, hyung is sorry for being so mean! Oh god, are you okay? Please stop crying baby. Is it hurting too much? Can you get up?" Seokjin fretted, demeanour now completely flipped, with furrowed eyebrows on his beautiful face.
Jungkook nodded his head, holding on to Seokjin's broad shoulders for support as the elder fully straddled him and encircled the younger's tiny waist in his strong arms. Jungkook felt light headed. His breath hitched.
He suddenly flinched and let out a noise of discomfort, to which Seokjin quickly responded, "Wait, let me. I'll pick you up."
And then Seokjin took Jungkook's arm, brought it around his shoulders, placed his own two arms- one beneath Jungkook's knees, the other around his back, and lifted him up into the air.
Jungkook was on cloud nine, such proximity with his hyung was a precious, treasured moment for the boy. It was not everyday that Jungkook could feel Seokjin's heart beating right next to his own, and just now he realised they both were perfectly in sync, and with his hands fidgety, playing around the nape of Seokjin's neck, he lowered his gaze and smiled shyly to himself.
In the next moment, he was being laid onto his back in his bedroom, Seokjin placing him gently on the bed and immediately getting up to inspecting Jungkook's injuries, before Jungkook even got the chance to miss his body warmth.
"Where did you get hurt, Jungkook? Let me look around," and he softly took his face in his hands, still hovering above the little one, and tilted his head to the side. Touched his cheek, thumbed at his forehead and jaw, then whispered lowly.
"Shit, you've got some bruises forming on your face too, over here," He caressed his jaw lightly.
All this while Jungkook looked with his eyes wide, wondrous and doe-like, up at his hyung with all the love and admiration he had in himself and felt his pathetic little heart turn to mush.
He looked at Seokjin like he was the centre of Jungkook's universe- because he was.
It took Jungkook a moment to snap out of his happy place, and realise that currently his hyung had lifted his shirt up and was ever so softly raking his hands across his abdomen, looking around for injuries. And Jungkook choked on his own spit, suddenly coughing out for a few seconds, and that hurt too. He felt a jolt of pain shooting up from his left hip, all the way upto his neck and he rubbed around the sore area with his hand.
"Calm down Kookie, need water?" Jungkook shook his head.
"There are some bruises on your torso as well, it's probably nothing major but they'd still be a pain in the ass. I think your shins are the worst though..." Seokjin trailed off, glancing worriedly at his exposed legs and Jungkook tried getting up, to have a clear view of the art he'd made on his body for Seokjin but flinched before he could sit upright, the same pain shooting up his back again.
"Is your back hurting Jungkook? Try to lay on your stomach, if you can, I think I can fix it if it's not a bruise," Seokjin told, and Jungkook felt himself light up at the prospect of having Seokjin's hands over him.
"Okay hyung," he whimpered pathetically, and slowly flipped over while Seokjin told him to be careful with his body, and huffed as he finally managed to lay on his tummy.
He felt Seokjin climb up on him, straddling Jungkook's ass and the latter felt all sanity, rationality and coherence leave his mind so that he could now only focus on Seokjin and Seokjin alone.
Jungkook felt his dick tenting against his shorts.
Seokjin was too close to him. Too much of Seokjin was in contact with too much of Jungkook, it was dangerous, Jungkook's body- or his dick in this case had a mind of it's own and always erected to it's full size whenever the elder was anywhere near a metre radius around him, for any longer than 60 seconds, which was exactly the case right now.
Jungkook felt Seokjin's arms roaming over his back, going from his shoulders, and down, down, down, stopping just above his ass.
The lower he went, the more he touched Jungkook, the more his cock stood to full attention and it was now straining against the bed sheets. It was somehow the most uncomfortable, and yet the most comfortable Jungkook had ever been. Seokjin tried adjusting himself on Jungkook's ass, accidentally pressing his crotch right into the mattress, but immediately leaned back when the younger hissed - which was actually not in pain but pleasure - trying his best to put as less of his weight on Jungkook as possible, and started his work on the boy's body.
Jungkook briefly wondered where he'd learnt this from as Seokjin pressed and prodded, used his fingers, with full expertise and precision. At one point he felt Seokjin press his palms flat again his spine, and told Jungkook to inhale and then exhale, and put pressure so that he heard cracking sounds come out of his back. He did it thrice.
It felt so good, Jungkook never wanted it to end.
"There you go. Your back is all fine Kookie, I'll let you move around a bit now..." But Jungkook couldn't let this end just yet. Didn't want Seokjin to get up. Any loss of contact would leave him crying his heart out. Plus what would he do if Seokjin saw how shamefully hard Jungkook was.
He fumbled with words and quickly responded, "Hyung! W-wait, uh, can you like give me a massage or something... Please?" Who was Seokjin to say no to him again?
And so Seokjin stayed, right on Jungkook's ass and then started to massage him.
Seokjin, albeit a bit rough, made Jungkook feel amazing, and the younger loved it when Seokjin got all rough and mean with him anyway.
Jungkook couldn't stop the moans and grunts spilling from his lips, Seokjin's hands all over his body his sole focus.
Then at one point when Seokjin was massaging his lower back, so close to his ass, so close to where he actually wanted Seokjin's hands to roam, Jungkook stopped breathing and clenched his lower belly, curled his toes and fisted his hands, felt his eyes screw shut and tear up, as he let out a suppressed yet loud moan into the pillow and came untouched inside his shorts, lying helplessly underneath his hyung. Eyes now open wide, he desperately prayed to whoever was listening, that Seokjin wouldn't find out.
Once again, this fic isn’t going to be a bed of roses and will contain dark themes.
P.S. I’m amazed by the hits and kudos ;_; thank you all so much *gives hugs*
Chapter 4: everything is turning to black
Another update people! I still can't believe the number of kudos I'm getting for this fic, I'm emotional :(
There's just some adult stuff going on, so no major warnings really.
Hope you enjoy this chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"And in the middle of my chaos, there was you.”
"I've decided that it's time for me to move out," Seokjin informed out loud to his parents, both of whom had stopped chewing their food and were looking up at Seokjin with an unreadable gaze, although it did look like the declaration was not unwelcome.
Then they looked at each other, then back at him. His father spoke, "Well if you're certain you can live on your own now, then I guess we don't really have an objection, right?" And his mother nodded, a bit hesitant.
"It's a significant step though, so you must put in a lot of thought into it, plan out everything beforehand and choose wisely. The location of your new place, how far it'll be from college, how far it'll be from us, and what about food-"
"I know mom," Seokjin smiled, cutting her mid-sentence. "I'm almost two years into adulthood now, I can take care of myself. Just wanted to know your perspective. On top of that I already have stuff figured out so no need to concern yourselves at all," and the conversation continued.
But Jungkook had stopped paying attention to any other words that were being exchanged. He physically felt all the colour drain away from his face as he sat rigid in his chair, completely frozen.
The dinner he'd been ingesting felt like it weighed tonnes, as if it was desperately clawing up out of his oesophagus from where it rested in his stomach. He couldn't feel his legs, or move them. For a second he questioned if his lungs had stopped working too.
Jin hyung was going to leave?! As in leave Jungkook to spend the coming few years alone? Go off somewhere far from home and never show Jungkook his face again? Had he lost sense of everything entirely?! It was Jungkook who had gotten his head hit multiple times as a toddler, not Seokjin!
How could the elder even conjure up such a ridiculous notion in his head that anything at all existed in this world that Jungkook could do without Seokjin? All he could do today and all he was today was because he had Seokjin- his one constant in life. Or did his hyung not bother thinking about Kookie at all? The boy felt his hands getting icy cold and clammy and moisture beading along his hairline.
He spluttered out a hasty, "But what about me, hyung?" He desperately hoped, prayed and internally begged Seokjin to reply to him with a "Of course I'll be taking you along with me Jungkook-ah, and we'll live together in our new home. You'll always be with hyung right where you belong."
Instead he got a rather casual, "You'll be staying here with mom and dad Jungkook, and when you're older and confident enough, you can also move out like hyung. If you feel like, that is," as Seokjin went back to devouring the leftover soup. Jungkook felt his heart shatter.
How could you even say something so absolutely absurd, hyung?
To think that Seokjin was so carefree about this, about leaving Jungkook and separating from him for god knows how long, was incredibly baffling. Didn't Seokjin love Jungkook like he always said? Did he not want to stay with Jungkook forever like the younger did? What about how much Jungkook would yearn for him? Would Seokjin be able to overcome the way he would miss Jungkook every passing second of every damn day?
Or would he even miss him at all?
Jungkook suddenly felt unsure.
He looked up to see all three of his family members eating in silence as if a big bomb hadn't exploded on Jungkook's mind and heart. And in an involuntary decision Jungkook concluded that if he wanted his hyung to be only his, he'd have to try harder.
Letting Seokjin leave wasn't an option. Staying away from Seokjin was just as much of a ridiculous thing to even try thinking.
"Hyung..." Jungkook started, and he already felt a lump forming in his throat and tear ducts burning as he desperately tried to spit his words out. He hated how pitiable Seokjin made him. And then he loved it tenfold.
"Are you really going to leave?" Seokjin had Jungkook's undivided attention, while the older was busy typing away on his laptop.
"Yeah Jungkookie, this weekend," Jungkook's heart rate skyrocketed in his rib cage. Felt so painful, like someone hammered nails right into his chest mercilessly at the same spot, so that the ache accumulated there and slowly spread and spread, blooming across his whole being.
"I won't be able to live alone hyung, not without you, I just know it's not possible,"
Seokjin glanced up at him, his eyes considerably softening as he put the device down and got up, making his way over to where Jungkook sat at the edge of the bed. The look in his eyes reminded Seokjin of how a puppy would react after being kicked away and neglected by their owner for so long and then finally receiving even the smallest crumb of affection.
Seokjin stood right in front of the boy, the latter tilted his head far up to look into Seokjin's eyes, his own plea-filled ones looking round and innocent and so fucking devastated that Seokjin wanted to engulf him in his arms and never let him go out of his sight for even a quarter of a second, and of course the younger wouldn't complain.
Jungkook was eye to crotch with Seokjin.
And when this dirty realisation hit him, Jungkook's jaw dropped open involuntarily, and he had to hastily make an effort and snap his lips shut.
Fuck, was he salivating too?
"Listen carefully to hyung, Jungkook-ah," and god, what else does Jungkook ever do otherwise, "I know it might seem scary seeing me leave right now but trust me, you'll grow to be more independent, confident and become a much better version of your already amazing self.
"I sometimes think you depend on me a tad too much, and I honestly don't mind spoiling you at all. Bad things have happened to you in the past, but you're 15 now, almost 16 and you're already growing so well. I'm very proud of you, Kookie. But you'll have to manage without hyung for some time, okay?"
No! Absolutely not. Impossible. Jungkook would never let that happen, no matter what it takes.
"I'm turning 20 soon as well, Kookie. I think it really is time for me to move out, and I really want to... Plus I won't be gone for as long as you're imagining, it's really not that much time at all!"
Not that long? What was he saying? The nights Jungkook spends alone in his bed and then the time apart from Seokjin during school already feels like a god damn eternity every passing day. What did Seokjin even mean?
"Take me with you." Jungkook muttered, voice tiny and wavering. Jungkook desperately wanted to focus on the view directly in front of him, wanted to mouth and nibble and drool all over the denim, right behind which he knew his hyung's cock was hidden, but he had a much bigger complication to sort.
Seokjin sighed, probably already expecting some sort of objection from Jungkook, and encased the younger's steadily drooping face into both of his palms and squeezed gently, yet firmly. The shift in his demeanour was sudden and evident. A steely glint in his gaze which made Jungkook swallow hard.
"It would be best if you stayed here, Jungkook-ah. With mom and dad. You can't stick with me forever. You're growing up, how many times do I have to tell you to start doing things by yourself. I can't always be there to help you out with every little thing. Just because hyung loves you doesn't me he won't be strict with you. You'll be staying here, Kookie. Got it?"
He didn't like this Seokjin. The Seokjin who proposed such ideas which would keep Jungkook away from him.
And Seokjin wasn't understanding. Jungkook had no problem being on his own if he was being honest, his confidence had actually gone up a few notches these past few months. He'd told the elder about having joined the basketball team, and was regular in attending the martial arts practices everyday at school.
He also had smashed some senior's head into the lockers a day before, so hard that he'd bled, and sincerely promised further damage in case the little bitch opened that trash can of his mouth and complained against Jungkook. He was doing things by himself. That wasn't a problem at all.
It wasn't because Jungkook needed Seokjin to protect him from the world anymore, rather it was that Jungkook just needed Seokjin.
He wouldn't argue with his hyung. He would never argue with him on any other matter. Be like an obedient little puppy, do everything diligently as his hyung tells him. But all of that could go to hell if anyone tried to come between him and Seokjin - even if it was his hyung himself.
The younger wasn't just about to sit around and watch Seokjin ready his bags and be gone for who knows how long and who knows where.
And quite possibly, with who knows whom.
Instead of arguing further, he rose from the edge of the bed, flaying out his own hands slowly on Seokjin's pectorals and rested them there for a second, before gliding them further above and caging his hyung in his arms and pulling him close. He smiled like the loser he was when the elder's shoulders sagged as he lost his anger and hugged his little brother back.
Seokjin could get as unyielding or adamant as he liked about how things were going to play out, but Jungkook knew his poor hyung's heart - which was only ever this soft for him - could only resist him so much, until the younger had his way.
Few hours later when Jungkook woke up he was in his room sleeping with his legs tangled up between the sheets. He didn't wake up peacefully. First thought across his mind went to his brother and it felt as if his whole being knew that him leaving Jungkook behind was a top priority situation he had to deal with as soon as possible.
His head was throbbing but the beating organ in his chest was in the worst condition. It wasn't pretty, waking up feeling like he was having needles stuck into his heart which were constantly twisting and jabbing at him again and again to maximise his already worsening pain and anxiety.
He would figure out what to do. Plead with Seokjin, beg him, crawl on his fucking knees, let him know he was ready to do whatever the elder said, plead and beg some more. Do anything to be with him. But he figured he wouldn't be able to spend the night like this, alone by himself, with the reality of Seokjin leaving oscillating like a death sentence over his head.
So he crawled out of the sheets, went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and then pitied himself. Dark baggy circles rested under his eyes, which were red-rimmed as if he hadn't slept in an eternity. He looked visibly dull and defeated but after today, what else could one expect?
Splashing icy cold water on his face multiple times, he sighed loudly and patted his face dry. Then exited the bathroom, heading towards Seokjin's room. He'd convince the elder to let Jungkook sleep with him tonight.
He walked through the hallway leading to Seokjin's room which was located further ahead from his own, right at the end. He walked slowly, with careful silent footing as to not disturb him in case Seokjin was sleeping.
When Jungkook was an arm's length away from his hyung's door, he stopped dead in his tracks and paled to a chalk-white complexion, because what the fuck was that sound?
Was that someone moaning?
Jungkook quite literally stopped inhaling air. Everything went ghost-silent and he willed himself to not make a sound either. He urged his senses to listen, hear more carefully.
And yes, his hyung on the other side of the door, right opposite to him was one hundred percent moaning out loud.
Hyung is probably stroking his angry fat cock, hard and fast, Jungkook wondered as his step-brother let out another string of vulgar profanities.
Seokjin was vocal, and Jungkook who was a porn virgin (and a virgin, period) was certain that he wouldn't ever need to watch that stuff. Not after this.
In his haste he almost didn't pay mind to the sliver of space between the door and it's frame and his eyes widened and he thanked whoever had control of the universe and its ways for granting him this golden fucking opportunity which he wouldn't miss.
On their own accord, one of his hands rested lightly on the door and the other landed on the wall as he made slight movement to peak inside.
His brother was in his direct line of sight, the whole of his side profile visible to Jungkook as Seokjin sat on a chair in front of his computer desk. His strong veiny left arm gripped it's ledge tightly, and oh holy fucking christ there it was.
Seokjin let out another heavy groan and threw his head back, his neck and chest flushed pink from exertion as his right hand moved punishingly up and down on his huge pink cock, the tip leaking pre-cum making the slide slicker, and producing the most obscene of sounds, taking him closer and closer to his orgasm.
If Jungkook wasn't hard two minutes ago, now he was dripping.
Hyung's dick was exponentially larger than Jungkook's comparatively tinier one and he imagined just how little it would take Seokjin to make an absolute wreckage out of the little boy with that thick rod of his.
Jungkook scampered off to quickly hide behind the closest nook he could find and palmed himself through his shorts, and hissed from the pleasure shooting across his whole body.
Quickly sinking to his knees and falling on his ass, he inserted a hand into his underwear and pulled his rock hard dick out.
Jungkook bit his lip to catch his own moans and cupped himself around the head and started stroking himself.
So dirty, so filthy, little whore Jungkookie getting off from his hyung jerking himself mere footsteps away from him. Doesn't get any filthier and sluttier than this, does it Kookie?
He could feel himself tearing up, splitting his lip open and tasting metallic as he had to push his shirt up and gag his mouth to quiet himself, then quickened his pace on his pathetic little dick, imagining taking all of that lengthy glory in his mouth, in his cunt and felt his hole clench.
Seokjin released a drawn out moan, as Jungkook's hips stuttered and throwing his head back so hard it hit the wall, he came the longest he ever had.
Jungkook lay there on the floor covered in his own measly cum as light finally returned to his eyes. Whole of him shaking as though he'd gotten electrocuted, he somehow managed to put his still twitching dick inside his boxers as his post-orgasm high subsided and the melancholy returned, then completely broke down, soul-shattering desperate sobs wracking his whole body.
Fuck, Seokjin was literally going to move out. It wasn't just a nightmare. How the fuck would Jungkook survive without him?
Finding some leftover strength in his limbs, he pushed himself off the floor and decided to leave his cum-stained shorts right there on the floor, scurried off to Seokjin's room, knocked twice and waited.
From the other side, Seokjin told him to "Wait just a minute!" and Jungkook drooped his head down low, he really, really didn't have it in him to think anymore and when Seokjin opened the door, "Who's- Oh Jungkook? Did you wake up?"
Jungkook slowly raised his head up, felt like even that took all his remaining energy and looked into Seokjin's eyes. The elder's own widening at the ugly sight of Jungkook's tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes.
God, could he get more pathetic?
Maybe Seokjin was indeed doing the right thing, by leaving him and getting rid of him. His father didn't want him either. It was all his fault, always being a burden on Seokjin. His father wanted him gone and now Seokjin was going to leave him too. If his parents interacted with him any more than the little time they had for their sons, they'd definitely have him leave as well. Maybe he really should stop bothering everyone and be gone forever-
"Jungkookie? What-Why are you crying? What's wrong, are you sick? You need something?"
Need you, hyung.
At his lack of reply, Seokjin spoke again, "Shh, quiet now, come on in. Stop crying, come're," and he pulled Jungkook flush against his chest, arms tightly encompassing the younger.
Jungkook felt tiny, safe, loved, warm, protected, so many things that only this man could make him feel and he couldn't hold back anymore.
All his anguish which had been accumulating since the morning, from the time Seokjin declared his departure in less than a week's time, to telling Jungkook that he should live without him, and to the heart-wrenching realisation of his uncontrollable and irrevocable attraction to his brother crashing down on him like an avalanche, Jungkook cried his heart out in his hyung's chest. And goodness did it hurt.
He didn't realise when Seokjin had taken the younger to his own bed and now the latter was snuggled into Seokjin's body as he continued weeping.
"Shh Kookie, calm down now. I'll take care of everything. Don't worry. Hyung is right here," Seokjin cooed and gently stroked his hair.
Jungkook tilted his head up, saw Seokjin looking at him with sympathetic eyes. He could see the pain reflecting in his hyung's eyes when he saw his little brother's crying face.
"But you won't be here hyung. That's the only problem. You don't get it! Every time you're not here I feel so alone. I've never had someone care for me hyung, I've never had a family I could love. And now that I finally have you and you're going away," he stuttered, "I think I'm just going to collapse. You're the only person in this world who makes me feel like I'm home, hyung. Please, please don't do this to me, I beg you, plea-," and he broke down again, feeling nauseous as he did in the morning. Seokjin pulled him closer and shushed him. He let the younger sob into his chest for a long while before he spoke, much to Jungkook's relief.
"I won't leave you alone, Kookie. I promise. And I'm sorry," then he pecked the younger's forehead, lips lingering, and Jungkook felt like he could finally breathe again.
"You... So you won't go, hyung?" He questioned hopefully, sniffling.
"I will go, Jungkook. Like I said, I won't be staying here anymore."
What? But hyung just told him that-
"I'm taking you with me."
Tell me how you liked it, I always love reading your comments. They literally make my day no kidding. I was a tiny bit skeptical about this chapter so let me know if it was good enough! Much love💕
Chapter 5: my head's a mess but i'm trying regardless
Don't understand why I'm always nervous before posting lol but here's the next chapter!
Sexual content, child abuse, mental breakdown in this one. Hope y'all enjoy :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Thank you for loving me when I still tasted of heartache and war."
When Seokjin broke the news to his parents, they were puzzled as expected and tried their best to grasp the intention behind their son's decision. His mother disliked the idea of Jungkook living with Seokjin alone, more so because they all knew Jungkook could be a handful sometimes, even though it was Seokjin he listened to the most. She wanted to debate with him on this topic about how it'd be a bad idea to take the younger along with him, when he was supposed to focus on his studies and planning a successful career instead of having been bound to a teenager with obvious mental issues from a troubled childhood. His mother wasn't insensitive, but she was uncertain about this whole ordeal and worried for her son. Many problems arose with this commitment of his, the option of being able to stay at the dormitories the college provided going straight off the list. Which would mean that Seokjin would have to find an apartment or some other sort of accommodation for Jungkook and himself, definitely work part-time since he'd clearly rejected the idea of using his parents' money. His mother didn't try to argue with Seokjin, knowing her son well enough, knowing that he wouldn't budge from what he's finalised. His father tried however.
Which was exactly why, after four days of icy cold tension between them, on Seokjin's - and now also Jungkook's - departure, the father-son duo refused to speak more than a single syllable to the other as Seokjin headed away towards their awaiting car with a curt nod in his dad's direction.
Jungkook bounced downstairs with his traveller's bag pack full, crossing across the doorway and onto the porch area, pulling his mother in for an embrace, which the petite lady lovingly returned. His father felt a frown settle on his face. Upon having heard that Seokjin wanted to move out, he'd been in agreement with his decision. He felt proud that his son had grown up to become self-dependent enough to live off without needing his mother and father. But when the next day he'd spoken of taking the little kid, Jungkook along with him, he'd been skeptical. He was having a weird feeling about what was ensuing. Maybe it was the way, for the past 2 years, that Jungkook always seemed to look at his older son as if he wanted to devour him whole, as if the younger thought he almost had a claim on Seokjin. But he was just trying to put together the pieces of a puzzle that were never even there to begin with, right? Jungkook was just an innocent little boy, who was just very attached to his older step-brother and that was it.
"Mind your health, Jungkook. Eat and sleep on time and stay happy always. Make sure your brother takes care of himself too, I'm relying on you for this one!" His mother spoke, crow's feet making an appearance at the sides of her eyes.
Try not to bother Seokjin too much, his father wanted to add but stayed quiet. The old man really had no idea just how accurate the reasons behind the worry brewing in his gut were.
Jungkook excitedly nodded his head up and down then turned to his dad and looked up at him, telling him, "I'll miss you both so much! I'll be angry if you don't visit at least once each week," he pouted at them, sending a little prayer up above, asking that they'd never visit their residence and disturb his and Seokjin's peaceful life together. No offense.
The two watched Jungkook swirl on his feet with the hugest grin on his face, running off to where Seokjin stood, their mother's eyes cautious and concerned for both her children, whereas their father remained more worried for their elder.
For the whole of the car ride, Jungkook had occupied Seokjin's lap as his makeshift pillow and had buried his face right into his denims, and boy had he slept. It was approximately an hour and a half later when they arrived at their new place and Jungkook was left feeling refreshed after his power nap.
As their car pulled into the driveway, Seokjin tried to shake him awake and Jungkook got up, hair flying in several directions as if he were a baby bird, and peeked at their home-to-be with sleep-laced eyes.
It was in a pretty nice locality, close to school, and all the other good things inclusive which Seokjin must've taken care of. Right now Jungkook was sleepy and hungry. Even the thought of having to rearrange his stuff in their new home made him want to grow a shell and crawl right into it.
The few cardboard boxes containing their belongings were quickly taken up to their floor, a sulky, whiny Jungkook trailing sluggishly after a determined Seokjin, both carrying one with another stacked on top.
After the second round Jungkook gave up and threw himself face-down on one of the couches kept in their mediocre-sized living rooms. Although this place was comparatively incredibly smaller than their other house, Jungkook really didn't mind. As long as he could avail all facilities, he'd be good to go, provided there was Seokjin to accompany him of course. Alternatively he thinks he'd even make do with a single-roomed residence if he had Seokjin along.
The elder entered inside with one last box in his hands, dropped it on the floor and scooted Jungkook's legs a bit to seat himself down. He let out a loud groan and yes, it still affected Jungkook, then spoke, "You like this place Jungkookie? We're going to stay here for quite some time now."
Jungkook twisted his neck a bit so his mouth wasn't obstructed by the couch anymore and spoke with annoyance in his tone, "Oh is that so? Then were you lying to me when you told me that you really wouldn't be 'gone that long' not too many days ago, hm?"
Seokjin wasn't able to see the younger's face but could visualize his pouty lips and slitted accusation-filled eyes clearly.
Seokjin tsked and tried covering up, "Why are you bringing that up again Jungkook-ah, let's leave it in the past. Don't be salty," then shifted to crash his weight on top of Jungkook's back to which the latter huffed loudly. Even though he was just sixteen, he was already growing a lot of muscle with only slight remnants of his baby fat here and there. They stayed that way for a few minutes, but just as Seokjin moved to get up, wanting to suggest that they go to their respective rooms to rest, Jungkook felt something drop to the left of his torso, right on top of his hand. With his peripheral, Jungkook could slightly make out what it was. And Jungkook was faster. Before Seokjin could make a grab for it, he quickly snatched it into his own hands and spoke rather loudly, more than was necessary,
"What's this hyung?" All too innocently he questioned and Seokjin would've believed his lack of knowledge if he weren't a boy in his mid-teens.
Just as Seokjin tried to compute a response, Jungkook quickly sneaked a brief glance at the packet, which was of a deep golden color and had a short but informative enough product description printed on it. He took in the bold letters on the packet, internally smiled to himself and shoved it inside Seokjin's limply hanging hand.
"It fell out of your pocket, I guess. I'm super sweaty, gonna go shower again. Will see you at dinner, bye!" And off he bounded, straight to his room, while Seokjin stood still, a little taken aback by the whole occurrence.
7.2"-7.8", huh? Sure, would be just perfect for Jin hyung, Jungkook wondered, gnawing mindlessly at his lips and slightly smirking.
Jungkook recalled how not so many years back he was having the same difficulty, trying to fit in a new place, to adjust into his new bed and urging his brain to give in to Somnus. It'd been a long day today for the both of them, arriving early morning, then taking a quick nap before getting to finish systematising this new house.
Some things were different this time however. Instead of being anxious and scared like earlier, fretting that his father might return for him and he'd have to go back to that hell of a place which was his childhood home and get his daily dose of slaps and bruises, this time he was bubbly and positively anticipatory about finally having a place where he could remain with his Seokjin for a long, long time from now on.
The reason may be whatever, but Jungkook couldn't fall asleep. His brain cells constantly wandered off to his hyung, his precious hyung who'd changed his course of plans just for Jungkook, just because he couldn't see his little step-brother crying and in distress, just because he loved him so. He felt his heart soar with adoration. All Jungkook wanted to do at this moment was shower his hyung with love and praise and affection and show him how thankful he was for everything.
He poked his legs out of the comforter and crawled out of bed, putting on his cute fluffy slippers and heading towards Seokjin's room. He glanced around and noticed they still had a lot to do to make it feel like this place was their own. Although they organised almost everything today, there were still some things here and there that needed to be taken care of.
Jungkook stood before Seokjin's room and knocked at the door. At he lack of reply he grabbed the handle, turning it to open the door and allowed himself inside. Everything was pretty dark and with what he could remember about the room, he navigated himself around before he felt the edge of Seokjin's bed. Gently patting his arms on the bed to find where his hyung laid, he pushed the covers aside and quietly sneaked in and pulled them over himself such that the both of them were under the same sheets.
Jungkook's head swam in the older's addictive smell which was all around him, just like his body heat. His toes tingled.
By now his eyes had adjusted and he could faintly trace the outline of Seokjin's sleeping figure. Turning over onto his left to face Seokjin, he smiled sleepily at him, thinking of how this was the man his heart beats for.
I love you so much, hyung.
Something came over Jungkook and he reached forward, placing his palm firmly over Seokjin's breast, above where his heart was beating, loving the heat from his body where his palm touched the elder's skin through the thin shirt. He and shuffled even closer. It was dangerous, he knew. Seokjin could wake up any time and perhaps reprimand him for not sleeping in his room, maybe even send Jungkook back, but the younger would find his way out. He wanted to have this time with Seokjin all to himself.
Seokjin didn't wake up, instead much to Jungkook's excitement he turned over onto his right, his left arm draping over Jungkook's tiny frame, now completely facing the younger. He felt his heartbeat in his throat.
From this angle, Seokjin looked even more unbelievably gorgeous. He wondered idly how ethereal he was as a human. His face was literally a sculpture, curves and dips in all the right places and if it weren't for the heavy arm atop of him, Jungkook would've wanted to stare more.
There was only the distance of an inch or two between them and Jungkook dared himself to move closer and closer, until there was none. Until he could feel Seokjin's minty breath fan his face, and moving his head even closer, felt it leave a ghost-like impression right on his lips. If only...
He swiped his lips with his tongue and gulped.
Should Jungkook just do it? Do what he's been wanting to since forever. What he dreams of, with the rising sun each day and when it sets every night. Give in to what would only happen sooner or later and just place his mouth on Seokjin's, his heart, his first love, and make him his first kiss, because who else would it be?
Jungkook craned his neck further towards Seokjin. So close, that he could almost taste him on his tongue, when Seokjin moved his arm which he had wrapped around Jungkook and pulled him flush against the joint of his neck and shoulder and Jungkook could hardly breathe. But he didn't dare move.
A few minutes passed, and Jungkook noted Seokjin's breathing calm down to normal before wiggling to adjust himself properly according to the older man's body. They fit like puzzle pieces, and every moment with Seokjin really made him believe what they told you in movies and books could actually be true.
Jungkook's face in the crook of Seokjin's neck, the skin contact causing the younger to think it'd make him combust, their arms wrapped around each other, Seokjin's much tighter and unrelenting, with their legs not entirely but almost entangled due to the fact that Jungkook's knee was unintentionally pressed up against Seokjin's soft dick. His eyes widened.
He moved his knee around, testing the waters. Noticed Seokjin's breathing was still normal, then rotated his knee again.
He kept going at it for a few more seconds, eyes shining and smile wide when Seokjin's body finally responded. He snuggled his scrunched-up small nose deeper into his skin, smiling mischievously.
By now, his own had gotten hard with that all too familiar want brewing in the pit of his tummy. He nudged Seokjin's hardening boner once more.
What was he to do now?
Jungkook put on a show, mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, then draped his right leg, which had been working on teasing a sleeping Seokjin, over the latter's hips and wound his arm tighter around his back. He hoped his message of I'm asleep hyung, wasn't upto anything naughty at all! went across well.
Seokjin was still very stiff around Jungkook, probably wondering what to do next, stunned (and though it was depraved, turned on) by just how desperate his step-brother was, clinging and rutting into Seokjin and possibly having a wet dream on top of that. Seokjin was aware he shouldn't have gotten hard like that, but how would his body know that behind the touching and nudging was actually his hormonal step-brother, with his fantasies running wild which had caused him to unconsciously rub himself into Seokjin.
And what was Jungkook doing here in his bed anyway?
It didn't help that Jungkook had more or less taken Seokjin in his captivity, physically. The whole of Jungkook wrapped around Seokjin in a crushing hold, so much so that both their crotches, erect and hot were clamped tightly against the other's.
Fuck, really now, what was Seokjin to do? Leave it alone and hope for Jungkook to fall asleep like this, waiting for his hard-on to go down? Maybe untangle himself and take care of his little - okay, huge - problem? The latter wouldn't be right to do, though. It would be absolutely licentious, against so many morals if he just locked himself in the bath and jerked his cock off, when it was his little step-sibling that had made it hard. It was just a fairly innocent action of his, done unintentionally in his state of sleep, and no, Seokjin wouldn't just proceed to get himself off. He shouldn't. So he went with the former. Gradually though, still holding Seokjin in his vice-like grip, Jungkook's breathing normalised, as his hold finally loosened.
Jungkook woke up drowsy in bed, checking the time on the table clock, 7 am. It was still pretty early for Jungkook, but a little past the usual time when his hyung got up. He tried sitting upright, last night creeping inside his mind, first slowly then suddenly. He'd come to sleep with Seokjin, then had gotten both of them aroused, and had ultimately fallen asleep. He'd almost been caught with his impure ministrations, but somehow managed to cover it up. Moving around a bit to get up, he felt sticky and damp in his underwear.
What was this? He didn't recall soiling his boxers. What, how'd this happen? He didn't orgasm last night. Didn't get himself off or anything. Did he have an arousing dream for real and ended up coming untouched, or had he rubbed himself all over Seokjin to reach his climax? He really didn't remember. He wishes he did.
Could it have been that Seokjin had taken his tiny problem in his own hands and solved it for him, hard and fast? Jungkook shivered at this possibility.
What if Seokjin had really witnessed his sleep-induced show of making himself cum? How must he have reacted if he had indeed seen him orgasm? There's no way Jungkook could know, unless he asked Seokjin himself, a thought which was rejected as soon as it occurred. He didn't exactly want to come off as desperate and pathetic in front of the man he loved and lusted after. How embarrassing would that be?
The very noticeable mess in his underwear reminded him of how almost a week ago he'd pumped himself listening to his hyung masturbating and had creamed all over his shorts in a matter of seconds. It is now that he remembers how he hadn't even taken into consideration where he'd left the spoiled clothes, nor did he recall seeing them where he'd left them the next day. Anyone who must've picked it up would've noticed the white stains for sure. Maybe it was actually Seokjin who'd picked those up? His behaviour was the usual with Jungkook come next morning though, probably even more gentle than before considering his breakdown, or maybe he didn't want to make him feel awkward. Jungkook timidly hoped that it was no one else but Seokjin who'd picked it up.
Crawling out of bed, wary of his pants, Jungkook walked to the bathroom in Seokjin's room, wanting to shower and get out of this mess before sitting for breakfast. It was still a bit steamy in here, indicating that Seokjin had already bathed himself. Jungkook got the water running to fill the bathtub, added Seokjin's favourite strawberry-scented bath bomb and hopped in once it reached his preferred temperature.
His tensed muscles instantly relaxed as he took some time to just let everything soak in. He felt peaceful like this, taking some time to think over the multiple occurrences that took place in the past one week.
Everything was fine now however, he got what he had desperately needed - for Seokjin to not leave him - and perhaps the two actually getting to live together all alone was maybe life's way of apologising for always having been a bitch to Jungkook. It was sweet and made Jungkook very happy.
He grabbed the pink-coloured loofah and pumped some of the body wash on it and started to scrub himself. First his neck which Seokjin had a habit of always touching, down to his chest which had been gaining quite some muscles lately, his biceps and forearms, and maybe he'd become as buff as Seokjin one day, then over his taut stomach before going over his legs. Reaching up towards his groin, he rubbed there with a gentle hand, not wanting the loofah to scrub his sensitive dick too roughly. And he stroked himself a little, then a bit more, going from the base up to the shaft and on the sensitive tip. Repeating this several more times before it was as hard as he could get it. He put away the loofah and grabbed the shower head in his hand, directing it right on his cock, 'cause maybe it'll make him feel nice, and felt the water hit his cock with solid pressure.
Yes, it did feel great, maybe a little too forceful but still good enough. Gliding his other hand up and down slowly, he hiccuped as the pleasure built and built, his nipples which were as responsive as ever hardening into tiny nubs. He felt over-sensitive and decided to let go of his cock and turned over a bit onto his side, so that his dick was now pressed and grinding against the porcelain of the bathtub, the shower-head still at work as he pinched and twisted his nipples, just like his hyung did every morning to wake him up.
"Hyung..!" he whined loudly, eyes rolling back. "T-touch me, hyung, please..."
He was close, so close to reaching his climax, he might've heard footsteps approaching him, which was exactly why he'd left the bathroom door ajar, but presently his head was far too gone to drift anywhere else. He flicked and pulled at his left nipple again, then again, felt drool drip from the side of his gaping mouth, as his eyes rolled further back and he came with a loud moan.
"Fuck me...!" He screamed as he felt his whole body convulse under the stimulation on his cock.
He found it hard to move for a few seconds, and when he felt he could finally get himself up without getting dizzy, he heard Seokjin call out to him. Perfect fucking timing. He wonders if he'd been interrupted it'd have been somewhat equivalent to Seokjin indirectly edging him.
"Did you finish, Jungkook? Ready for breakfast?"
"Yes hyung, coming in a minute!" He was still a tad breathless. Jungkook thinks with interest how he had indeed heard footsteps coming towards the bathroom, but couldn't recall them ever going away.
Jungkook skips across the floor, wood boards creaking beneath his feet, as he heads to the kitchen where the smell of food is pulling at him through an imaginary string. He's made sure to put on his prettiest baby blue sweater and moisturise his face to full smoothness. He enters the kitchen and spots Seokjin washing his used dishes as he settles himself at the dining table.
"Hyung, food." He asks for it, wriggling his sock-covered toes as he gets comfortable. His tummy is super hungry. He waits for Seokjin to turn around, or respond to him in some way, but there's nothing from the elder. There's an uncomfortable silence. Jungkook frowns.
"Hyung!" He speaks loudly, slightly startling the elder who turns around and is wide-eyed.
He takes a long look at Jungkook's face, before saying, "Yeah. Yeah, just a minute." Then blinks a couple of times as if breaking out of his reverie.
Then in the next moment, Seokjin serves him his self-cooked food. Jungkook notices that his attention is diverted, he's never looked this distracted before.
Jungkook digs into his food, his hyung always makes the best preparations and he knows that in no time he'd have scarfed every bit down and left the whole plate clean. Vaguely he registers that Seokjin has seated himself down on the chair opposite to him. Jungkook peeks up from where he's buried his face into the bowl and Seokjin is still lost in his own world.
"Hunngh?" He questions through his mouth full of food and Seokjin looks him in the face. Swallowing it down he says, "What're you thinking about?" There's another uncomfortable pause, and there's something starting to stir in the pit of Jungkook's stomach, an unpleasant feeling, as Seokjin looks him straight in the eyes.
"What were you doing in my room, Jungkook?"
The younger stiffens in his seat. Hyung's voice was stern and scary, a threat underlying his heavily condemning tone. He's angry, Jungkook knows by experience of watching Seokjin everyday before his own two eyes that these are the telltale signs of his disapproval and rage, slowly brewing up inside him, before they're absolutely unleashed on whoever has made him furious. And probably for the first time ever, the 'whoever' happens to be Jungkook himself.
He doesn't know what to say, his appetite has vanished like he wasn't ready to ask for some more ramen just 5 seconds ago, his mind feels caged and he's immobile. He tries to part his lips and form a verbal sentence but then again, he can't even get his brain to even think of something to say.
Seokjin does not look away, Jungkook thinks he's not even blinking at all. His insides churn as the elder's gaze wavers not even for a mili second.
"I asked you something. Which means I'm expecting an answer. Speak, Jungkook."
He slowly rises from his chair, both palms coming to rest flatly on the table. He's incredibly big and mean right now, and this is only one of the thousand times that Jungkook has felt like a grain of rice in front of him. Ever so slowly, Seokjin pronounces each of the next words separately and Jungkook is so fucking petrified.
"Why were you in my room?"
His heart skips a beat out of fear. Jungkook wants to disappear, he feels so scared and guilty that he wishes for the first time to not be in the same room as Seokjin, to be nowhere near him and he's pretty sure his brain just shut down on itself.
He has to reply to Seokjin, or he'll get in big trouble. But then he cannot just let him know how he wanted Seokjin's body next to his last night and so, very sneakily jumped inside his bed and slept tucked right into his side. He didn't even want to think about the rest as the paranoia of what if hyung noticed what filth I was up to and now finds me the most disgusting human to walk the earth creeped into his mind.
"Nightmares." He whispers, lips and mouth automatically moving and he's so relieved that they do. He may be lying, he definitely was, but he had to get Seokjin to calm down because what if he gets punished and Seokjin stops talking to him, stops being his caring loving hyung, perhaps sends him back home and abandons him?
"Louder, Jungkook." He's frowning now, and Jungkook hates how he's being called by his name, with no hint of endearment. It's never been like this before. Even when he used to get scolded, this much coldness never seeped into Seokjin's sentences. And here right now, there was an almost hostile tint to his words.
"I was afraid I'd have nightmares.
It was harder to adjust than I had imagined." He gulps.
"So you thought that you were going to have nightmares, didn't actually have any, didn't even try sleeping alone once and just barged into my room as if it was yours?"
Well, wasn't it? Was Seokjin really setting up boundaries, that too with Jungkook? His Jungkook? His precious little Kookie who loved him so much, and had actually given his own self for Seokjin to own, let alone some measly belongings like these?
"Th-the possibility was scary hyung. Didn't want those nightmares at all, scary, too scary, didn't want to see him again, didn't-" And his chest is practically heaving now, some extremely unpleasant memories are flooding inside his head, suffocating him from all sides, and he needs some support, needs help, needs Seokjin but he's really nowhere to be seen at the moment. His eyes are stinging and his mouth is going dry.
"I get that, Jungkook." Not that damn name again!
"But you cannot always sleep with me, right?" He cannot for the heck of it understand why, and he feels salty tears finally making their way down his soft cheeks. He can't look at Seokjin anymore, vision too blurred, but the change in his voice from mean to a little bit nicer is noted. Somehow that does nothing to relieve Jungkook.
"Look, it's not that big of a problem if it's for two or three days. But back at home too you'd always crash on my bed all the time." He pauses, then says, "You're growing up, and sleeping in the same bed as me is just, it's a little, don't know, weird for your age?" Jungkook knew exactly where this was coming from.
So the elder was technically implying that Jungkook made him feel uncomfortable. He couldn't believe his ears. If he hadn't had a terrible dream last night, now he was certainly living through one.
Jungkook is still crying, gripping the hem of his sweater, fingers curled around it tightly as he sits as straight as a rod. He looks right ahead of him, doesn't want to see Seokjin's face. He feels so betrayed, so lost, and that's a feeling he'd experienced before and never thought he'd come face to face with it ever again. But then here he was, estranged and afraid.
He has to get himself together. He knows no response to this situation. This has never happened before, and on that note he thinks that this whole thing was completely unnecessary. He was doing just fine without this horrible episode, but this was Jungkook's life and he'd have to suck it up whether he likes it or not, like he always has. He feels himself putting on his facade, harshly wiping his eyes dry with his fist and takes a long deep inhale.
"You're right hyung. I'll try my best to sleep alone again and not bother you at all. Thank you for the food." He cringes at his wavering voice.
He doesn't glance at Seokjin even once, silently getting up and moving to his room because he has nothing more to say. Seokjin lets him leave, doesn't stop him, and that pointedly hurts his chest. But maybe he has nothing more to say either.
The whole day is wasted, Jungkook spends his time in his room by himself, the mental exhaustion really taking it's toll on him now. He doesn't hear from Seokjin for the rest of the day, keeps himself locked up in the four walls of his room. Seokjin doesn't even bother checking whether he's alright or not, even though he's cried, and he knows there's something wrong this time as he's used to Seokjin's concern which always follows whenever something of this sort happens. He doesn't bother knowing whether he's eaten or not and Jungkook is equal parts glad and disappointed by this.
Everything is dark. Silence surrounds him like a thick blanket and he swears he'd be able to hear a pin dropping if he listened carefully enough. He tries walking around, wants to move but for some reason feels heavily weighed down. He takes a look at himself, eyes going over his small frame. His hands are tiny and bony, almost undernourished, but that is to be expected when the kid doesn't get fed. He doesn't think much though, just looks ahead into the blackness, apparently void of anything or anyone else. It's an unsettling feeling in his gut, he's felt it before, an anticipatory anxiety of some kind which is continuously nagging at his mind, directing his thoughts towards a darker, more distressing place, where he is lingering along the thin line of reality and delusion.
A figure is making his way towards him, emerging out of the void, as if birthed by darkness itself and ten-year old Jungkook knows it to be true, that it is indeed a something violently foul. It scares Jungkook, he wants this to be over already. Why is he so stuck? Why can't he run away?
It's his father, vexed and furious, and he's scared of him, has always been. He is finally able to place a finger on his trepidation, now knowing what is to come. He wants to beg and plead and make it stop, but he's aware more than anyone else that his attempts would be futile. So he waits and screws his eyes shut, quivering terribly out of fear.
Before he knows it, before he can even protest, both his skinny arms are taken in his father's hand, he is holding them by the wrists, both of Jungkook's hands caged in one of his. His face is grabbed harshly, fingers and nails digging deeply into the sensitive skin of his cheeks, it hurts a lot and he feels himself go limp as he's harshly yanked back and forth. The man has a malicious snare on his face, his lips seem to be moving but he can't hear a word. Jungkook's whole body has shut down after been terrorised and his organs won't function.
Next he's grabbed by the throat, almost not being able to breathe and now unfortunately the numbness has vanished. He's physically feeling it now, it's more evident and real. He feels his head throb upon lacking the oxygen it needs and he lives through every bit of it. He's roughly pushed down onto the floor, and he starts to cry, chest heaving and hysterical sobs escaping his mouth. Hot tears are running down his face and he's experiencing everything. He screams at him to stop, tries to stay no, but he's brutally kicked in the ribs, his small self being unable to inhale the air as the leather of a shoe flicks against his cheek, before it roughly nudges his chin and kicks it up. He cries harder, small frame pitiably writhing on the floor like a baby animal being crushed under someone's foot, and it feels exactly like that, even looks just like that, but he knows no one will help him.
It stops suddenly somehow, and he opens his eyes. The tears are still there, the vomit inducing atmosphere just as rigid. But instead of a ten-year old, it's the Jungkook of present. His surroundings are brighter and he can see more. There's someone stood in front of him. He rises up to see who the person is and looks at a familiar face, but cannot comprehend who it belongs to. He knows this person, feels it deep within his bones, the comfort and the safety and how he's not hurting anymore. The man stands still, just looking at him. There's a string pulling Jungkook towards him and he lets it guide him. Gets closer, with it all his anxieties and fears slowly backing away and he only wants to stay with this person. He's close enough, but just as he raises his hand to touch the man's face, everything turns dark and he's left stranded again.
He moves about frantically and tries to use his voice but fails. Blindly searching in the dark for what feels like an eternity before his hand finally, finally makes contact with someone's body and he's just about to sigh in relief before his brain registers who it is, and when confronted with the cold, demeaning features of his father, he lets out a blood curdling scream.
Jungkook's eyes wrench open and he's screeching so loudly it hurts his own eardrums. His hands are waving about wildly looking for some support as he inhales deeply to breathe in some air and break out of the suffocating and hellish nightmare. Someone holds him close to his chest, he can vaguely guess that it's the man from his dream and he tries to find comfort in him again in this panic-stricken state of his but he cannot. He doesn’t want to let anyone touch him, feeling as if any contact would burn him and leave him scarred. His name is being called out but he can't care. He thrashes around, trying to get out of the embrace he's in and falls off the bed, frantically trying to escape the room.
His sweater is gripped back and he only starts to listen to whatever's being said as his voice is dying out and the volume is depleting after having abused his throat so badly. He claws at his neck with his nails, trying to see through the tears absolutely blinding him, trying to breath and live through this seemingly unending nightmare, and feels the burn of scratches on his skin.
A hand comes around his waist and he's pulled to someone's chest tightly, still trying to wriggle.
"Focus Kookie, focus on hyung's voice. Listen to what I'm saying." He hears whispers in his ear and he recognises this voice, is almost comforted by it now, so he listens.
"It's alright, you're fine. You're home, here with hyung. Calm down, now." It is therapeutic, this voice and these words he's so used to are bringing him back, ever so slowly pulling at him, holding his hand warmly and grabbing him towards a better, brighter place. His breathing stabilizes and he gulps down the saliva in attempts at moistening his too dry throat. It's getting better, he's calming down. More coherent now, he realizes he's on the floor with Seokjin holding him tight. And it's this affection that he's been devoid of for a long enough time that finally brings him back.
"I'll never let anyone hurt you baby, I promise." And Jungkook goes slack in Seokjin's arms, returning to his senses.
*hides behind a curtain and peaks* how was it??
I’ve got so much exciting stuff planned I cannot wait. Also my exams are coming up and will end by the 18th so see you guys after that :(
Chapter 6: if i can't have you, no one can
HI! I’m not dead! Sorry for being so damn late 👉🏻👈🏻 Please don’t kill me ily enjoy bye ;_;
(also, sorry for any typos i was in a hurry)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Someone told me stay away from things that aren't yours,
but was he yours if he wanted me so bad?"
After Jungkook's last episode of having a panic attack slash breakdown, he'd been left incredibly emotionally unstable and it'd taken a lot out of Seokjin to get Jungkook out of his protective bubble which he'd try to crawl right back in. It took him a lot of determination and effort to coax him out of his dark place and get him to stabilise completely, and Seokjin was glad knowing that at least he had that much hold on Jungkook.
Jungkook had always feared the nighttime, and after this incident he was left even more petrified. Seokjin figured that he'd have to stay with the boy to help him sleep. This way the younger could be at peace and have his subconscious know that someone he could trust, someone who could protect him was nearby, just in case another one of his nightmares tried to resurface. So Seokjin would stay right next to Jungkook until he slept and luckily would be free to leave within about 30 minutes. He would hold his hand the whole time, and only gently let him go when the younger let out the light snores which Seokjin had come to greatly adore. Seokjin felt Jungkook's pain as if it were his own. His heart had ached every time Jungkook screamed out of his fear, grief or suffering. He hated seeing his little one writhing around in his own arms, trying to break free from the one person who'd never wish anything bad upon him. Somewhere deep inside he took pride in himself for being able to help Jungkook every time. He was glad he was the one Jungkook had decided to trust with so much sincerity. But that's not something he should be thinking about right now, Jungkook should be and was his only concern.
Few days had passed since then, and Jungkook felt better, like he was coming back completely. He was at his usual again - spending more time than he should in front of the television, bad-mouthing about Maths while solving equations, stuffing his face and eating his meals like a pig and overall annoying the hell out of Seokjin. So yes, fortunately things were getting back to normal.
As of now, Jungkook was laying on his sofa, aggressively typing on his phone as he chatted with his best friend.
hyung's got a surprise for you!!
For me? Am I that special?
of course you are :)
What is it?
a little birdy told be i'll be attending the same school as one jeon jungkook
Is it april 1st?
i'm not joking koook!!
I can't wait, hyung...
When are you shifting?
already have ;)
And you're telling me this now?!
that's how surprises work kookie
i'll be over at your place around 7. be ready.
WTF I DON'T BELIEVE YOU
i'm starting school from monday but i just couldn't wait. had to meet you asap
Look who's whipped
i'll pretend i didn't read that
you can finally show me this man you're always thirsting after
I'll tell you all about him omg
you've already eaten my ears off bro ;_;
Fine then, I'll tell you who it is and what he looks like :P
see you soon kookie!!
...I still kind of don't believe you
*cue dramatic eye roll*
He dials Seokjin's number to tell him about their plans. It takes more than a few rings before the call is picked up.
"Hey hyung, you busy?" He doesn't wait for a response. "Remember Taehyung? That friend of mine I told you about?"
"Yes, I'm busy right now, thanks for asking." He hears some shuffling on the other end, some mumbling and guesses that Seokjin was probably having company, before the elder continues, "Uh...Kim Taehyung? The one whose parents helped you? Of course I remember."
"Yeah. I talk to him, like, everyday. And guess what. He's shifted houses again and he's literally 30 minutes away from here! Which also means..."
"...He's going to the same high school as you?"
He nods furiously. "Yes! Isn't that just great?"
"Yeah, why don't you invite him over?"
"Already did. He's coming over in the evening." There's a giant pause.
"What? Today? I'm a bit preoccupied, Kook. Might not be able to make it."
Jungkook whines. "I really wanted you to meet him! It's fine though, he's going to be a frequent guest anyway. You can meet him some other time."
"...I guess, yeah. Don't do anything you're not supposed to Kook. Okay?"
"Don't you worry, hyungie. Bye, see you!" Silly hyung, always worrying, he thinks before cutting the call.
The doorbell rings and Jungkook jumps up, hurriedly running off to unlock the door. He has been waiting for a long time to reunite with his best friend. They've been talking through texts and on calls since as long as he can remember but sometimes that just doesn't cut it. All he'd like to do was take Taehyung into his embrace and hug all the sadness and stress out of him. He's missed him too much.
He rushes to open the door, and there Taehyung stands, lean and fit unlike earlier but box-smiled just as Jungkook remembers. He's dressed just like Jungkook saw him in the pictures, it's typical Taehyung fashion, loose khakhi pants paired with a similar T-Shirt, all browns and neutrals; he reminds Jungkook of the autumn. The two clash onto each other, hanging on to the other for dear life. Taehyung is still quite frail though and comparatively thinner, while Jungkook is buffer, big enough to entirely engulf the elder.
"I've missed you Tae-Tae!" Jungkook mumbles through Taehyung's hair where he's buried his face.
"Missed you too, Kookie. So much," And before their emotions get too out hand, the two decide to separate. Jungkook is smiling really wide as he looks at Tae, who rakes his eyes all over the boy's frame.
"Hey! How have you changed so much? Where did all this muscle come from?! You used to be a tiny bean!" Jungkook laughs a little and Tae proceeds to squish his cheeks.
Jungkook responds, "Guess I'm going to be having the upper hand from now on, aren't I?"
Taehyung should've noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes but he is too late, as Jungkook grabs him into one of his infamous headlocks and bets that Taehyung cannot break free. The elder jabs Jungkook's abdomen with his fingers and wiggles them and the tickling gets Jungkook's hold to loosen.
"Don't be too sure of that, brat!"
"Whatever, you cheater." Jungkook says rolling his eyes, "Let me grab something to snack on. We've important shit to talk about."
"Spill. Now." They've made their way into Jungkook's room and Taehyung demands him for information, as he sits cross-legged with a fat fluffy pillow on his lap, his eyes glinting with half excitement and half curiosity.
Jungkook jumps onto the bed and puts his head on the pillow on Tae's lap, laying down with elaborate carelessness. He takes Tae's arms and puts them on his chest as he looks at his upside down grin, he wants to see how he'll react.
"Which hyung, silly? I don't know half the people you do. Give me a name! C'mon!" Taehyung is all giggles by now and Jungkook thinks he must be able to feel his heart racing.
"Jin hyung, silly! Who else?"
There's a slightly longer than necessary pause and Jungkook is still waiting for Tae's reaction. It comes onto his face slowly, turning his curved lips straighter and straighter, bringing the brows on his forehead closer until there's prominent frown lines on his beautiful honeyed skin until Taehyung looks confused.
Jungkook mirrors his expression, now equally, if not more puzzled. "What? About hyung? Never." He tries but cannot control the rise in his voice's volume, whereas that of Taehyung's takes a dip.
"But that's not right, Jungkookie. Is it..?" Jungkook gets up to sit across Tae.
"He's your stepbrother."
"He's my stepbrother whom I love very much, what isn't right about that? What don't you get?"
There's another pause, shorter and turns Tae's face into one of amusement and strangely enough, relief. "This is a prank and I'm totally falling face-first into it. God, Jungkook grow up." He laughs lightly and rolls his eyes but Jungkook can't for the life of him figure out what he's trying to say.
"Can you stop? Stop making fun of my feelings, Tae. Since when did you become such an insensitive ass?" Jungkook sounds as hurt as he appears. And there's quite a lot of genuineness in his words, which is enough to tell Taehyung that he's not being pranked at all, far from that, actually. The tension hangs heavy in the air and Taehyung starts to panic.
"Wait- No you can't! You cannot Jungkook, you literally can not. It's not right, you cannot even think of having a relationship which is anything other than platonic with your brother, it's wrong in so many ways!"
Jungkook fumbles for words. "Do you think my heart cares who it's falling in love with, like I have any control over my emotions at all? And what's so wrong about it anyway-"
"Yes! What the fuck is wrong with you, dammit!" Jungkook shouts, is up and on the floor now, looking down at his friend incredulously. Taehyung cannot even begin to comprehend the weight of irony in his words.
Jungkook's features marbleise. "What? Now you too think I'm not capable of loving or something?" He scoffs and rolls his eyes.
"No, no! Of course not! All I'm saying is you're not supposed to have a crush or... or fall for your stepbrother! It's- it, you shouldn't!" Taehyung is positively grimacing.
"Well I wish I could ask myself to stop loving him. I can't. Any other solution you might be kind enough to throw my way, dear?" Taehyung is 0% in the mood to joke.
"The people or whoever may think that it's 'wrong', but for me, it simply isn't! Don't be so weirded out. If you looked at it from my perspective, you'd know."
"Jungkook, listen to me. You may not be bothered by this now, but if your parents do find out-"
Jungkook chuckles at his friend's naivety, grabbing Tae up to stand him before himself. He holds Tae by the shoulders and squeezes him hard.
"Of course they will." Jungkook says, eyes boring right into Taehyung's.
Tae's own eyes widen, probably the widest they ever have, and his jaw drops to the floor.
"Sooner or later, they will." Jungkook smiles casually. Taehyung feels light-headed, astonishment coating his every word.
"What makes you think they'll approve? What even-" Jungkook chuckles, Tae is as unaware as he's naive.
"All I need to do is make hyung mine and then he'll deal with it all. In a few months', maybe years' time, you'll see."
Taehyung can't help but think about the surety in these words, he's scared by how absolutely positive Jungkook is about this shit. What's scarier is how the boy just knows he'll be successful in having this man - Seokjin's - affections. How he's more than certain that whatever he plans on getting, he will get.
Jungkook goes towards what Taehyung guesses must be the laundry basket, and then Taehyung zones out, standing where he is.
Taehyung has known Jungkook for quite some time, he knows the shit he's been through, knows his more than obvious daddy issues. Essentially he shouldn't be surprised that Jungkook decided to latch onto the first man, who was older and somewhat more experienced, who sprinkled an ounce of affection and acknowledgment towards him. It was only logical, really. But still, the whole disclosure with the reality has shocked him tremendously. Part of him does realise the psychological reason behind this. It isn't hard to understand, and he cannot find it in himself to blame Jungkook. What's happened to him in the past has altered him to become this way, and try as he might, these things that are so deeply embedded into his mind, heart and personality are impossible to separate, specifically at this stage.
Thinking back to the last few months, he did find it a tad bit unusual how Jungkook would always be talking about "this man who's making me fall for him every day" in some way or the other, but he had brushed it off, thinking it's just a crush, not knowing how deep this all truly went; not knowing how Jungkook was actually after Seokjin, his stepbrother.
In the truest sense of the word, Jungkook has changed, albeit in more ways than Taehyung could've expected. He sees it in the way Jungkook has gradually started conversing more freely over the last three years, sees how Jungkook has emerged from being a shy, reserved kid to a rather confident, if not bolder man. He may still keep to himself most of the time, with the limited friends he tells Taehyung about, but he's not scared anymore. It's a good thing, it sure is, but then not everything is sunshine and rainbows.
In the present scenario, this very unusual problem has risen up. But Taehyung must do all in his power to help Jungkook out of this mess he got himself in. It'd be tough, this boy was stubborn as hell and listened to barely anyone, always headstrong in his ways. Taehyung could find Jungkook someone else, someone unrelated, but from what he guesses, his behaviour at school doesn't exactly qualify him as sociable or even approachable at all. Still, Tae has to try. He doesn't even know this Seokjin guy, can't estimate his thoughts or feelings, or how he'd react. But from what should be normal, he would probably perceive this whole situation similar to how Taehyung did. If he finds out what Jungkook's mind has been up to, he could easily be grossed out and disgusted, could turn to absolutely disliking Jungkook and start maintaining his healthy distance, and if worse comes to worst, maybe even be scared of the boy. All these could never play out in his friend's favour, he knows how serious Jungkook was, didn't fail to notice the tick in his jaw and how his hands fisted every time Taehyung refused to believe his confession.
Taehyung wonders if Seokjin had any inkling of his stepbrother's less than appropriate feelings for him. He also thinks about what kind of person Seokjin might actually be, to make someone like Jungkook, who used to look at the whole world with needless alertness and paranoia, to trust him so blindly and further, sow the seeds of romantic feelings in the younger's heart. He thinks it mustn't be Seokjin - he was probably just another normal good guy, perhaps more understanding and careful than most, and that it was actually all Jungkook - him and his need for safety and protection, which had led him to this point of extreme infatuation with this man. Even if it were someone else, the exact same thing would've happened to Jungkook. Everything would have been better if it was someone else.
Taehyung can't not do something about this. He had to stop this wrongful intent that Jungkook was harbouring, for his own well-being. The boy might not be wise enough to know what troubles he's calling upon himself as well as his family, but Taehyung does. He's helped Jungkook once and he could do it again.
The door slams open as the boy enters the room suddenly and Taehyung doesn't recall when he'd even left. He is walking towards Taehyung hurriedly, eyes wide and a smile playing across his lips.
"I think hyung's here! Gosh, I'm so excited you're finally going to meet him!" And Jungkook looks childlike this way, excited and eager to have his best friend and hyung meet.
"Come on, quick!" Jungkook grabs Taehyung's hand in his own and takes him to the door. He halts instantly however - they haven't even made it out of the room yet - and Taehyung isn't entirely sure why. Then he hears it.
"...even let you bareback."
"Oh? Look at you, thinking you can take it all in."
The clinking of house keys can be heard, and the two boys are quick to figure out there's someone accompanying Seokjin. Taehyung isn't sure who's who, neither does he entirely know what's going on, but he can guess that it's a conversation about how much dick one of them could take. The duo are standing behind the door, Taehyung is confused, he wants to meet Seokjin but doesn't want things to get awkward. On top of that, he's being blocked by Jungkook, who is also stood in place, absolutely unmoving.
He has become as rigid as a rock. He stands so still it may look like he's not even breathing, it's enough to rival statues. He can't believe his ears, wants to tune his brain out but stresses himself to hear more all the same. He attempts to convince himself he's malfunctioning, doesn't want to dwell on the context of this conversation. But he knows what he's heard, he can never mistaken the all too familiar cockiness and confidence behind the words of the man he knows to be his hyung. He can't even think about how he'd already told Seokjin that Taehyung would be there, and he's so carelessly showing up with a...Jungkook doesn't even know what to call him. The scene unfolding before him has grabbed all his attention.
The door opens, and Jungkook realises that all this time, he had been so foolish to think that he knew what real pain felt like. Pain wasn't being beaten up with a mop stick every other day, nor was it having to put bandaids on your own palms every time they got scraped when you were made to fall, it wasn't even your stomach cramping because you had been starving for hours.
No, pain was this.
It was watching Seokjin stumble inside the house, which was ironically his and Jungkook's, with a stranger hanging heavy on his arm like a second skin as the two moved closer than should be considered appropriate. It was the way Seokjin gazed at this man before him, so much lust in his dark hooded eyes, as if he wanted to swallow him up. It was the way Jungkook was unsurprisingly pathetic and insecure enough to put himself up for comparison with this stranger, and realising that maybe he was indeed infinitesimally prettier, slimmer and perhaps more fuckable and attractive than Jungkook could ever hope to be.
Pain, it was seeing the one person you knew you would love for the rest of your life, with someone that wasn't you.
He watches Seokjin wrapping his arms around the boy's petite frame, he's almost a head shorter and yet all over Seokjin. Their bodies are touching, they're too close. And no, Jungkook realises Seokjin has never been busy doing extra credit work in the college library, of course not, instead he was probably doing...him. Jungkook thinks he's supposed to be there, he's supposed to be the one Seokjin is holding, not this blonde-haired bitch. He wants more than anything to tear them apart. There are emotions flooding deep inside him, consuming him inside out. They are acidic, burning and corrupting as they splash around inside his mind. He identifies them as jealousy, rage and maybe something else, something more dangerous and exponential in magnitude, which under better circumstances would've scared Jungkook himself.
The two seem to be dirty talking, and Jungkook has to kick him out of their house. When he sees the two lessening the distance between their faces, his heart crumbles, and he lunges out of his room, or at least tries his best to.
"Stop Jungkook! Stop!" Taehyung whispers harshly and holds him back, his nails digging painfully into Jungkook's ribs and the latter can't find it in him to give a fuck.
"Calm down! You're not thinking straight." Taehyung hisses.
"Let me go, I'm gonna fuck this bitch up!"
"You can't Jungkook! Stop!"
"Yes I can! Fucking watch me."
"Don't! Your hyung will be so mad at you."
"Taehyung let me fucking go!" He flails around in Taehyung's arms and it's not quite believable how he's is even being able to hold him back.
"We'll think of something just calm down right now." Taehyung stutters before throwing his best shot.
"Seokjin will be so upset with you!"
Jungkook gives in, violently pushing Taehyung back as the latter stumbles a bit. Slamming the door shut noisily, he climbs onto his bed and lays on his side, arms embracing and nose burrowed in a pillow as he sulks, hot tears leaking from his eyes out of frustration and neglect. He is just seconds away from sobbing loudly. He might have asked Taehyung if he was okay, Jungkook wasn't exactly the gentlest person ever, pushing Taehyung around like that, but he feels greatly out of his element.
The door opens right then and in walks Seokjin, tall and confident as always, and just that much handsome. He walks straight to where Jungkook is laying like a foetus on the bed. His clothes are a bit disheveled, hair ruffled and lips noticeably swollen. Jungkook wishes to stab himself in the eyes so he doesn't get to see Seokjin in this post make-out appearance anymore.
"Whose little brother is moping around?" He questions, tone mirthful and Jungkook is slowly coming to dislike that particular word.
He reaches Jungkook and fluffs up his hair, "Looks like it's mine!" His smile turns questioning when his hand is spitefully swatted away by the boy. He looks up at Taehyung, finally acknowledging him and Taehyung is quick to respond.
"Hello Seokjin-ssi. My name is Taehyung." He bows in respect and smiles sweetly.
"Ah, so you're Taehyung! Jungkook talks a lot about you. Nice to finally meet you."
"So what's up with this big baby? Something happened?" He sits beside Jungkook who turns his whole body in the opposite direction. Seokjin is not smelling himself and Jungkook can't stand this overly syrupy and headache-inducing fragrance stuck onto his hyung like he'd applied it on his own self. His hands clench as he twitches with envy, thinking how the two must've been stuck by the hip for who knows how long and he wants to jump off a cliff. He can't seem to erase the vision from his head. Every time he closes his eyes - or doesn't - all he sees is Seokjin and that guy. He wants to kiss some sense into his hyung, look him in the eyes and tell him who he should be with, tell him who's the right choice.
"Came third in a race today." Taehyung attempts to lie and luckily Seokjin doesn't question further. He shakes his head, smiling slightly as he pats Jungkook's butt.
"That's nothing to sulk about Kookie, cheer up." When he gets no reaction, he rises up and says, "Wanted to tell you I'll be home late, so sleep on time, alright? Food's in the fridge."
He gets up to leave, waves goodbye to Taehyung but just as he opens the door, Jungkook speaks up.
"Where're you going?" It's shaky and terribly monotonous, his voice, lacking emotions and Jungkook curses himself for asking what he has when he knows exactly where Seokjin is going and what he'll be doing.
"Uh, nothing, night out with friends."
How easy it is for him to lie to Jungkook.
He clenches his jaw and makes no attempts at responding, and so, Seokjin leaves, effectively taking Jungkook's heart and all of his attention along with him.
Jungkook has always been emotional, extra sensitive and not in control of his feelings whenever Seokjin is involved. He knows he'll be doing something he shouldn't, something which might be outright manic, but if it can make things right for him, it wouldn't even matter by the time it's done. This was just another one of the obstacles between him and his brother, just another hurdle he'll have to leap over, or if need be, trample upon.
He sees Taehyung frantically coming to sit near him, and he feels more traitorous teardrops escaping through the sides of his eyes. He wipes them away harshly and Taehyung's lips move.
"Don't cry, Kookie..." He pauses before starting, "Look, I'm not sure how to console you but this isn't that serious. Don't take it to your heart. We'll find you someone better, promise!"
Jungkook feels his patience running out. How many times has he already said that he loves Seokjin, and how many times has Taehyung blatantly disregarded it? Jungkook figures that this time Taehyung may not really be able to grasp onto his feelings. So he decides to deal with it on his own.
Jungkook does what he's good at, plays along, lies and convinces Taehyung that the latter is right, and that Jungkook believes him.
"I know, hyung. It's...fine. I'll forget about it. Deep inside I've always known it was never that serious. Just need some time..." He adds a sigh towards the end for extra effect.
Then he sees Taehyung's shoulders sag in relief and he thinks he's pretty much a professional at putting on a facade.
Taehyung replies with newfound determination, "We're going to have a movie marathon and we'll forget all about any boys who break our hearts. Get up Kook! Choose a movie while I get us some ice-cream. Okay?"
Jungkook looks into Tae's brown orbs and slowly nods, his work is partially done here, he wouldn't have to hear about Taehyung's irrational and incessant nagging anymore. He loves him dearly, always has and always will, but the line's always drawn whenever the matter is concerning the relationship between Jungkook and Seokjin, or as of now, the lack of.
Jungkook gets up and browses for movies Taehyung might want to watch, because he wouldn't really be paying attention. He thinks about The Notebook, Wonder, Me Before You, and all that lot, but Taehyung is a sap who cries easily and feels too much and he doesn't want to get his shoulder wet. So he decides the next best thing, Iron Man. He plays the movie and turns down the lights, snuggling up comfortably on his bed while waiting for Taehyung. He thinks it's better that he was stopped just in time, otherwise Seokjin would've never tolerated his less than hospitable behaviour. Now he can calmly will his brain to brew up some much needed ideas, clever ones, those that will do the job without Seokjin knowing what he's up to, which is precisely what Jungkook wants.
"Whispered something in your ear,
It was a perverted thing to say
But I said it anyway
Made you smile and look away
Nothing's gonna hurt you baby,
As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine
Nothing's gonna hurt you baby,
Nothing's gonna take you from my side..."
Jungkook is sitting idly on the bay window in his room, sucking on a cigarette which one of the more irresponsible guys at school helped him buy, along with some other interesting and illegal stuff. He's overlooking the roads and greenery, witnessing everyone's lives being busy and hectic, waiting and watching like he always has. His headphones are bursting with sound as he drowns in it and aimlessly wonders. Ten minutes have gone by since Taehyung left, and four hours since Seokjin has been gone. He unlocks his phone, notices there's no text messages from whom he's expecting. He goes to his gallery, and scrolls through his albums, taps when he finds the one he's looking for. It's become habitual now, he frequently scrolls through the pictures he has of Seokjin, each one he's clicked himself, each one holds a special memory. He can't help it when his mind wanders off to lustful thoughts about Seokjin, another one of his usual hobbies. He knows now that it won't take him long to get hard, it's turning into quite a problem and it's especially annoying when the solution is right next you but you cannot reach out for it.
He takes one last drag from the cancer stick, before he stubs it and puts it out. He turns his phone to airplane mode since he needs no distractions, and with the device in his left hand, he scrolls through each of his images, feels himself smiling when he sees a picture of his hyung sleeping soundly, all bundled up in blankets on the couch, and reaches into his track pants and pulls his dick out. All it takes is a few strokes and a couple more pictures until he's fully aroused, tip red and leaking. He feels betrayed and frustrated. He strokes himself slowly, thinking how he was the unluckiest being on the planet at that moment, and was not getting the dick he deserves. He needs to feel the reality of it all, so he can focus all his emotions and think accordingly. And the reality always hits the hardest when he's not high anymore. He has to get himself off, so he throws his head back against the wall and pounds his fist harder, and thinks about whatever he must.
Why does Seokjin always hurt him this way? Was he really going to go ahead and crush the tiny hope sprouting in Jungkook's heart, the hope that maybe they could be something more? Was he really that unaware? Or was it all in Jungkook's head? Maybe Taehyung was right somewhere, right when he said that Jungkook's actually got it all wrong. Jungkook still doesn't care whether it is or isn't, but it'd certainly be a struggle for him if Seokjin thinks it is. Why couldn't he just love him the way Jungkook did? The younger had his mind set on Seokjin, and he would make him his. For this, he didn't want to use force of any kind, didn't want Seokjin to be unwilling. But even he knew deep in his heart that he would not have Seokjin saying no to him. He simply wouldn't allow it. Which is what scared Jungkook, he really didn't want to hurt his hyung just because he couldn't see what the correct choice was among all the rest of the wrong ones.
He glances down at his cock, it's pulsating and ready to burst. Jungkook has just enough time to imagine it's Seokjin's hand on it, his long crooked fingers fisting his needy length, before his eyes squeeze shit involuntarily and he moans Seokjin's name and spills all over his hand and clothes, shaking and heaving.
He simply sits there as his breathing stabilises and removes his headphones with the cleaner hand, putting the phone aside. He turns his head and comes face to face with someone that shouldn't have been there, for their own sake.
The blonde-haired boy from before stands at the entrance of his door, and Jungkook thinks it's a sign for him. He feels strangely calm, rising up from where he's sitting as he pulls his pants up, using the bed sheets to clean his hand, popping a Mentos to take care of any stench in his mouth. The boy just stands there, unmoving, eyes still as wide and mouth just as agape, and if it weren't for his chest rising and falling, Jungkook would've thought he was frozen for real. Jungkook advances towards him slowly, giving him a smile which must be anything but affable.
"Uh, he-he's parking the car..." His voice is a whisper, and it is saccharine sweet and it claws at Jungkook's ears.
"And what are you doing here?"
The boy is visibly weirded out, as he tells Jungkook, "I was- I wanted to meet you, since I couldn't earlier..."
"Aw. Aren't you just so polite? Anyway, how much did you hear?" Jungkook asks, predatorily advancing towards him. Each step he takes forward, the boy takes backward.
"N-Nothing much really," What a liar, "I called for you but you didn't respond and uh, sorry for walking in on you, I really didn't intend to," Jungkook wants to laugh right now, laugh at how he's just turned this boy into a stuttering scaredy-cat. He may have a pretty face, but that's about it. What did Seokjin see in him anyway? Jungkook is clearly so much better.
"I'm sure you didn't." Jungkook smiles again, but the tension doesn't leave this boy's body. "Oh, where are my manners? Let me get you a glass of water. Anything else you'd like?"
The boy shakes his head and gives his best shot at smiling. Jungkook finally breaks eye contact with him and treads to the kitchen, swiftly washing his hands, as the boy follows behind. Everything is dripping with silence, the one which occurs before the storm. Jungkook reaches towards a glass but comes to a halt when the boy attempts to speak.
Either he's incredibly dumb, or he's one of those annoying, nosy ones who just have to say something or the other, or he has just foolishly decided to overlook all the signs Jungkook must be giving out because how does he have the courage to actually open his mouth and try to start a conversation. It's all going to go down, Jungkook thinks, especially after the first few words leave the boy's lips.
"Jinnie-hyung kept telling me so much ab-"
The glass in Jungkook's hand breaks under the force of his grip, dropping onto the kitchen counter as it clinks, and his eyes turn to steel. From his peripheral vision, he sees the boy violently flinch. Jungkook scoffs and twists his face towards him.
"Jinnie-hyung? Really? Since when?"
For the second time that evening, he advances towards the boy in a hunter-like fashion, turning a piece of glass around in his blood-stained fingers as he ultimately corners the boy. He looks scary and fatal and he takes pride in it. The way the boy trembles is just like the leaves on a tree during a windstorm. He stops breathing when Jungkook grazes the sharp edge of the shard of glass right over the sensitive part of his neck.
"Listen closely, whoever the fuck you are. You're going to stay away from my Jinnie-hyung from this moment onwards. Don't even think of breathing the same air as him. And also, you're gonna keep these pretty cock-sucking lips sealed shut." He increases the pressure on the skin over his jugular vein with each passing threat, looking directly into his eyes, and figures that the boy might be seconds away from fainting. He knows because he's well-versed with these situations. Obviously this boy is not Jungkook's first victim, although he is the first one to be in this position for a different reason than only getting on his nerves.
No, this boy tried to get on Seokjin. Jungkook wouldn't have hesitated to break his bones if the risk of Seokjin knowing wasn't so high.
The boy is still not breathing, which concerns Jungkook, so he tries to help out, "Now breathe if you understand."
The way he so deeply, and quickly inhales is almost comical, and he does himself a favour by rushing out through the door as soon as Jungkook gives him some space.
Jungkook hears some commotion, must be his brother returning. He's calling after the boy probably, who must be running for his life, quite literally. Jungkook rolls his eyes and walks back to where the shattered glass is still scattered. Bare-handed, he starts to slowly pick up the pieces. Seokjin enters through the already open door, rushing towards Jungkook.
"What the fuck was he running so late for-" Seokjin is completely out of breath, but is stunned when his eyes fall upon the blood on his brother's hands.
"Jungkook! What are you doing? How'd this happen?" He frantically makes his way towards the boy, making him drop the splinters he's holding. Jungkook looks up at Seokjin, shocking him further with his tear-filled eyes.
"Hyung, I-I dropped the glass by mistake and th-that friend of yours, he started to laugh at me and I was just confused, and-" He sniffles and looks down from the intensity of his gaze, glad that he has Seokjin hooked onto his every word.
"I didn't know what I did so wrong. When I apologized he just, he looked at me all weird and I got so conscious because I felt like I was embarrassing you in front of your friend. I swear I didn't intend to! I'm sorry..." He trails off in his small, apologetic tone.
His made-up story might not make full sense to Seokjin, but he bets that his tears are convincing enough. The weight is off his shoulders and it's so damn relieving when Seokjin wraps one arm around his back and rests the other on his head, and for the millionth time, Jungkook falls right in.
"It's okay, don't worry. I don't know why he'd behave like that, and then just...run away? He really wanted to meet you so much, I have no idea... Do you want me to talk to him, hm? Ask him what the hell is up?"
He shakes his head, which is comfortably resting on Seokjin's shoulder, and silently tells him that, "Don't bother yourself, hyung. I don't think he's coming back. We should leave it as it is."
The response comes after a while, the elder's voice strained and still puzzled. "Fine, I guess." He breaks away from Jungkook hastily, "And who told you to use your bare hands?" He tsks, "Let's get you disinfected first."
"I can do it myself hyung, you must be tired." Tired from your long lasting, unending sex-sessions. He may be a bit irrational, but still can't help feeling bitter.
"Don't be stupid, you can't put band-aid on your own hands." But Jungkook can, still, he lets Seokjin take him away.
He settles on the couch, as Seokjin returns with the first-aid kit, his brows furrowed as he seems to be deep inside his head. Jungkook keenly studies the whole of Seokjin's face, dripping with beauty as it always is, as he gently dabs the alcohol drenched cotton swabs before putting them away and proceeds to stick the band-aids onto his wounds.
"Be careful with these. Don't try holding heavy stuff, or anything at all, actually. Call me if necessary..." And there goes Jungkook's heart again, turns into a puddle, as he feels himself swoon. All the anger, stress and worry easily dissolves, leaving him feeling much better than before, leaving him at peace. It's funny, he thinks, how Seokjin is the remedy to the ailment which he himself caused in the first place.
"Okay, but... you'll still have to hold them so that I can sleep." He voices innocently, toes nervously fiddling with each other, as he looks intently at Seokjin.
The latter looks up, and Jungkook wants to hold him and cuddle him and give him all the love he deserves because he looks so tired. His brows are slightly frowning and Jungkook can feel the exhaustion rolling off of him in waves.
"I'll just crash on your bed tonight, Jungkook-ah." Jungkook tries not to make it obvious how much he is urging to just let out a squeal. "Hurry along. I'll be right there."
Jungkook answers him back with a soft "Okay" instead and bolts into his room, bouncing on his bed. The scream he lets out in euphoria is fortunately muffled up by how his face is stuffed into the sheets, as he proceeds to fist his palms in excitement. He swears it doesn't even hurt.
Y’all better lmk how I did ‘cause I lost my few existing brain cells writing this. Go off in the comments, while I watch Phineas and Ferb! Now! Go!
PS who do you text like? I text like Tae :P