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A Broken Child

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"Come on, Virgil, again? Seriously?" The harsh words hit Virgil's ears like rocks. They're shouted at an intense volume and with too much anger. Too much for a little boy. "I'm sowwy, I just was so... busy playing." Virgil sniffles attempting to calm his breath which is racing in and out of his lungs. "That's not good enough Virge. Little piss babies like you don't deserve the nice toys Remus got you." With that Deceit snatched the toys and left, slamming the door behind him. Virgil sits, devastated, wet and in panic. It was too much.

It's all pushed to the forefront of his mind the minute he sees those scales, those ruffles of green. He sees it all, every sob that was taunted at by people who barely raised him. In, out. He lets it go, things are good here. Despite Deceit's unwanted presence and even Remus' disturbing one, he focuses on the others. The people who despite not knowing what these people had done to him, took his side in every argument against them, at least until recently. They had trusted his decision to keep them as far away from Thomas as possible through his childhood. Until a few months ago Thomas was blissfully unaware of their presence or indeed existence. Virgil had done all he could.

Despite knowing that, he feels his throat constrict, his eyes flutter and breath hitches. A panic attack. He remembers in a brief flash of lucidity that Logan had offered help him through these. He imagines graphs, dark blue and physics. He's transported to Logan's room; Logan takes one look at him before putting down his reference book and closing his laptop. Virgil makes a movement toward him but Logan is by his side instantly. He puts an arm round his shoulders to straighten Virgil's posture. Virgil knows in his mind it's to open the airway but right now he's just glad for the contact. Logan also takes his other hand and puts it over Virgil's chest. It's to check his heartbeat and breathing rhythm but again Virgil leans into the soothing touch with little to no thought.

"Exhale" Virgil stops mid breath in to breath out, he goes for deep but it falters weakly. Words echo in his head, "Pathetic little child". His breathing stops he clutches at Logan's hand. "It's alright. We can try as many times as it takes to get a rhythm down" Virgil tries again, releasing Logan's hand and his breath. He gets further this time "Very good, Virgil. Now hold for two seconds, that's all" Virgil counts. One. Two. Virgil releases his breath in one big push. That's not what he's supposed to do. He's supposed to let it out slow. He's messed up. Another voice "Waste of space". "Virgil, it's alright, we have plenty of time, it's okay to make mistakes we'll just try again."

They do try and again and again, it takes 20 tries for Virgil to finally return to a normal breathing pattern. His chest finally relaxes and despite the occasional hiccup his chest moves up and down like clockwork. "Now Virgil, I in no way wish to force you to speak but studies show you'll feel better sorting through your emotions vocally, specifically with another person." Virgil takes a breath this one much shakier. He knows Logan will never judge, only speculate and help. He weighs his options: he could play it off as his anxiety acting up or...

He can speak up. He can tell Logan all the times in his childhood that Remus raised his hand to him. He can repeat every insult, every cruel act that Deceit and Remus had carried out. Let the relief wash over him that finally, finally someone who cares for him will know the horror his childhood was.

He doesn't though. He knows no matter what, his lips are sealed. The thought of letting someone in like that. He can't. It's too much to bear the thought of putting that on others. Just the idea has guilt flooding his brain. He cringes.

"I'm fine, Thomas just stumbled a little on the stairs. One thing lead to another and suddenly the fragility of life became imminent." It's sad that Logan relaxes upon hearing this because it shows Virgil how used to hearing excuses along these lines he is. It's all for him though, to keep others safe is Virgil's nature. "Alright Virgil. If there's anything else and I do mean anything, don't hesitate to say." With that he's back over by his desk. Virgil relaxes. He believed it all. It's all for him anyway.

°°°°°°°°°°

He's here. In his room. Virgil can feel it. The way his poster's eyes reflect back yellow. How Virgil's bed has sunk from the extra weight. "Oh silly boy, you came so close to letting them see you today." Virgil tenses, he should have know Deceit would be alerted as soon as he lied, but is quick to make it seem like he's still asleep. "It's no good you know, telling them, they'd only see how they should be treating you. They'll see how worthless, how bad you really are." He's lying Virgil thinks but the words still ring true. "Me and Remus were only showing you what you truly were, a useless whiny bitch who serves no purpose. Do you really want them knowing that?" Virgil sits up and shakes his head. Before he freezes, instantaneously. "Aww, don't worry, I'm a pro at seeing through lies Virgey. I never thought you were asleep." Virgil tries to let the nickname go but images of night time "cuddles" come to mind. The way they... they touched him. How despite hating it to his core it was the only affection he received for years. Deceit's voice comes out stronger now. "Don't worry, I'm not here for cuddles, only to remind you of what's at risk every time you go to them for help." With that Deceit is gone, leaving Virgil alone, afraid and unable to sleep.

°°°°°°°°°°

The next morning is chaos: Thomas has an audition. Roman's hurricanes through the kitchen reciting lines loudly before muffling them out around a piece of toast he snatches from the toaster. Logan's pouring over the script too, methodically re-highlighting lines Virgil just knows he already has memorized. Patton's trying to make what looks like it will be a very burnt breakfast due to the fact Roman has moved on to practising lines with him.

All of this happens while Virgil sips on a too hot coffee to make up for his lack of sleep. It doesn't help that while these noise and actions are buzzing around him he's trying to focus on both calming and feeding Thomas's worry around the audition. He's trying to balance it so Thomas is productive enough to go but worried enough to not make silly mistakes. It's tiring and overwhelming.

He needs breakfast he decides, he wanders over to where the others are sat at the table and surveys the options. A pile of (very) crispy toast, a bowl of soupy scrambled eggs or what seems to be black, charred bits of bacon. He gives up and sips another cup of coffee while the others alternate between line revision and shovelling food into their mouths, or as close to it as Patton, who despite being well and truly distracted is continually keeping the others safe, will let them ("Roman slow down you'll choke, Logan put that ladle down a teaspoon will do just fine").

All of a sudden a wave of utter panic hits Virgil. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine why now of all times Thomas is freaking out. He focuses on wholes, energy and caring. He opens his eyes and sees Thomas sitting still, in front of a script. A tear drips down his face. Virgil looks at the sodden script and realises why. A mug with coffee is laying sideways, a brown slither leaks out slowly to join the puddle that's flooded over the script. Virgil sighs, Thomas needs that script. It's a fail safe for forgotten lines or word mix-ups. Sure at the root of it a confident person could perform their lines script or no script and theoretically Thomas knows his lines by heart but... because of Thomas's anxiety, because of Virgil. He feels he needs that script, he's anxious he'll mess up and freeze in the audition. Virgil thinks up a list of reasons Thomas will be fine. He sends it to him subconsciously. Maybe some day he'll sit down and tell Thomas himself instead of always doing this but the others will forever be a better help than Virgil.

He lets himself sink back into the Mindspace's living room. "Guys, we have a problem." Everyone looks up in surprise. Nice to know I was missed, he think sarcastically, they didn't even notice. "Thomas spilt coffee on the script and is freaking out, I've already given him a bunch of reasons he'll be fine but I could do with some help." He doesn't mention he only did that subconsciously but still. Logan laughs and disappears only to return a few seconds later. Virgil feels the anxiety leave him in a wave. Roman and Patton notice the stress leave Virgil and join him in looking curiously at Logan. He smirks before quickly returning back to neutral. "I simply reminded him I had him photocopy his script weeks ago. He's much calmer now, thank you Virgil for alerting us." Virgil smiles but all he's really thinking is that he should have remembered that Thomas had it photocopied. He could have helped without disturbing everyone. He really is useless.

 

Chapter Text

Virgil finally heads to his room after some long hours of re-reads and auditioning. All in all it went poorly. Despite having the script Thomas's previous distress clearly knocked him and he stumbled through a fair few of his lines. Virgil wishes he could have helped during the audition but all he did was panic every time a line was said wrong or Thomas mumbled. He hates that after all these years he still feels like all the sides look at him pointedly after every mess up as if to say: "Look what you did." When really he knows they're just checking he's alright.

He hates that the others had to try so hard to get Thomas to go to sleep tonight. He was worrying and fretting over everything. Virgil had what felt like an infinite amount of panic attacks and Logan had to talk him through each one. Patton was swept off his feet helping Thomas, after Thomas almost worked himself into hysterics. Every single problem seemed to come back to him. He was always the burden. He just couldn't help himself. He gave in so easily to the panic.

Virgil shakes himself. He doesn't try to fight the thoughts like Thomas's therapist says he should, instead he represses them.

An ugly thought comes to mind with repression. Remus, or Daddy as he loved to be called. What a waste of a father. Remus wasn't around a lot. That's probably a good thing as whenever he was "cuddles" were always involved.

Virgil's mind fills with the image of excruciating pain. A hot searing feel from his "whore hole". Wet streams of tears and high pitched cries as something enters his too young hole. It pushes in, hard and fast. He tenses and the pain intensifies. It goes on for far longer than it should have, they keep swapping him over like a bag of crisps they can't keep their hands off of. They really couldn't; on bad nights Virgil can still feel their hands. Roaming everywhere. Pinching and pulling at his "fat thighs". Laughing every time they found a stretch mark or a bruise from a beating.

Virgil shudders and sighs. He tries to convince himself he didn't deserve that but at the end of the day he was a "useless bitch". He was a "whiny whore begging for cock". He should have never run away and infected other people's lives with his problems.

Poor Patton, having to feel every emotion Virgil forces Thomas through. Poor Logan having to watch Thomas's school and work life be demolished by Virgil. Poor Roman watching Virgil ruin every chance at stardom he gets.

Virgil should repeat what he did that fateful day at 15 and pack his bags to leave. He should save these wonderful people from himself.

Unfortunately he can't bring himself to do it, can't bring himself to leave his famILY. He thinks back to Patton's baking, to Logan's strangely hilarious flash cards and Roman's creative nicknames. He can't bare to imagine life without them.

So he doesn't he lets himself relax into bed. Let's his fingers drift into his mouth, he's so tired he doesn't question it. He sleeps right through Patton's nightly checks. Right through the night and only gets up when Roman comes with a steaming plate full of pancakes for him.

He thanks him and sits eating on his bed. He'd go down to the common room but he's sure they all need a break from him. He ends up staying in his room far longer than Logan advises he does. He can feel the shadows under his eyes expanding and his thoughts rushing. He can't bring himself to care. Instead he turns on the tv to some Steven Universe. He finds one of the sad, scary episodes and lets his thoughts focus on that.

The words "lazy bimbo" fill his head. He's so tired suddenly despite his night's rest. Maybe he's just tired of these thoughts. Tired of constantly being reminded of what he is. Of what he can't escape.

His mind goes dizzy at the word escape. It's such a loaded term for him. He did escape but to what measure? Sure he left his childhood behind but his abusers visit him and his loved ones so much is it really all in the past. He feels like it's all some sick game. He's being tormented by people he hates, while trying to protect the ones he loves, all while keeping so many secrets. Why can't he just tell them?

Immediate regret follows as a gloved figure rises. Virgil feels all control leave him. He hiccups and suddenly he's gone. His mind is so far behind his emotions. He's sobbing violently. He can't help but feel those hands ghost around his neck and thigh's. All of a sudden they're not just spectral hands. Deceit's hands are on him. They're wrapping their way around Virgil's body like snakes. Deceit's fingers pinch and prod. Leaving marks to remind him exactly why he can't tell them.

Virgil doesn't even need Deceit to tell him why he's being punished anymore. Virgil has a photographic memory for every reason he deserves these marks, why he deserves to be treated like a whore.

"Look up, Virgey." He follows the order. He's afraid of what will happen if not; he's still got scars from when he last disobeyed.

His eyes meet sharp, cruel ones. They gleam with troublesome thoughts and threats of what's to come. Virgil knows who those eye's belong to. Remus has come to help with Virgil's punishment.

Virgil feels his pyjamas be tugged roughly down from behind and his body be shoved on to all fours. Remus teleports in front of him and displays his hard cock to Virgil before shoving it into his mouth, hands finding they're usual position around his cheeks, thumbs tucked against molars. Virgil's throat protests weakly as it gets fucked harshly into.

All this happens as Deceit's cold hands grip Virgil's waist and claws dig sharply. He pushes in with no remorse, no lube and no preparation. Virgil cries out around Remus' dick but it only earns him the sting of claw marks on his waist and a sharp tug to his hair. Tears pour like tiny rivers down his cheek; his eyes sting and swell. Everything hurts. Aches, cuts, bleeding. His legs give out but Remus is quick to pull out a knife. Virgil wobbles but gets up at the threat. Remus still decides a punishment is in order and nods at Deceit. They swap positions and they both time their rammings so Virgil is torn apart all at once. Over and over again.

He feels something drip in his ass. He's probably torn again. At least now they're will be lubricant he thinks grimly. They continue none the less. Virgil knows they've been shouting insults at him but they've been falling on deaf ears. He's in body wrenching pain, he can't bring himself to listen.

Suddenly Remus speeds up. Tearing in and out while Deceit moves in slower jerkier movements. They come in time. Hot cum chokes Virgil as he struggles to swallow. All while it gets pumped steadily into hard to reach crevices.

"Say thank you for your cuddles Virgey" Virgil hates what he knows he has to say next. "Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Mummy." He chokes out horsely. It burns to even let himself breathe let alone speak.

With that they're gone. Virgil curls up, feeling loose and broken. He feels the uncomfortableness of drying cum on his thighs and it along with blood slowly leaking out of his hole. He doesn't even bother cleaning himself with magic. He deserves this.

So he lays, aching and bleeding. Too hurt to even curl up productively.

This is how Logan finds him.

Chapter Text

Logan opens Virgil's door. He's concerned that Virgil hasn't taken heed to his warnings about staying in his room all day. It won't do Virgil's anxiety any good to spend so much time isolated and fretful.

He's devastated by what he finds. At first glance it's just Virgil asleep with half pulled up pyjama pants but it's then that Logan sees the bruises on Virgil's neck and hips. He sees glistening red and white pooling and mixing into a gruesome pink on the bed sheets.

Logan lets out a cry of utter panic. It's not often he feels intense emotions but seeing Virgil so obviously used and utterly wrecked. It hurts. It hurts Logan to his very core. No one deserves this; let alone Virgil.

It's then that Logan realises someone is responsible for this. He feels intense rage. Whoever it was, Logan doesn't think they'll survive the light sides' wrath. That's not a problem for now though. Now is for taking care of Virgil.

Logan walks cautiously over to Virgil. He doesn't know where to gently wake the boy. Everywhere either has cuts or bruises. He chooses a shoulder that while not having any recent marks, has scars Logan is sure comes from a previous event like this.

Virgil leaps away from his hand, eyes flashing open and a whimper leaves his mouth. Poor Virgil, Logan thinks, he can't even stand the thought that Virgil is flinching from even the most fleeting touches.

°°°°°°°°°°

Virgil jolts awake. Someone's touching him. Someone's touching him. He has to get away. Away.

His mind catches up with his instincts and he opens his eyes as noise leaves his mouth. A whimper. Weak.

Logan, Logan. Why is Logan here?

Virgil looks down at the state he's in. Logan can't be here right now. He'll find out. Then he'll hurt Virgil. Everyone will hurt Virgil. They'll know. They can't know.

He pushes himself into the corner of his room. Let's a feeling of safety and dread wash over him. He's safe but he's also cornered and in pain. The movement sends a wave of cum and blood out of his hole. He whimpers again. He's so weak.

Logan could do anything right now; between all the aching muscles and searing, coursing pain, Virgil can't put up a a fight.

°°°°°°°°°°

Logan watches in horror as Virgil drags himself into a corner. A well practiced move by injured or wounded animals, Logan knows then exactly what Virgil needs. He approaches by crawling, making himself the less threatening. He crawls as slow as he can manage while desperately wishing he already had Virgil in his arms.

Finally he's about a rulers length away. He hasn't said a word but Virgil is trembling and tears are gushing down his face. A frail voice breaks the silence. "Please, Lo, please."

Logan doesn't know what Virgil's asking for but he suspects from the guarded posture and the plea, the very thought of this break his heart but he thinks, Virgil's asking Logan not to hurt him.

He reacts on instinct. "Virgil, I'm not going to hurt you." He says in the softest voice he can muster while his heart is being torn to pieces.

There's a look of horror and betrayal on Virgil's face. He looks around for something. Someone to appear. When nothing happens he relaxes a little but then looks at Logan as if something implausible has just happened.

"Really?" His voice comes out horse and Virgil winced at every syllable. Logan can't stand it he wants Virgil to be happy more than anything. He clicks his fingers and Virgil is now, at least physically, cleaned.

"Yes, really, I care about you, Virgil, as little as I show emotions I thought I'd made that clear." Logan can't help it, he comes a little closer and rests his hand on Virgil's shoulder. He flinched but doesn't make an effort to shrug it off.

"I don't know how or why or even what exactly happened but I can assure you, I'm never letting it happen again. Even if I'm not around to stop it, Patton and Roman will stop at nothing, I'm sure, to stop it too."

Virgil shakes his head violently at the mention of the others and then evinced in pain. Logan thinks he might have an idea why. "Do you not want them to know?"

Virgil shakes his head slowly. He looks terrible. Baggy eyes and torn up skin. Logan doesn’t bother trying to convince him to tell them at this time. He already knows he's walking on a very thin line of trust.

°°°°°°°°°°

Virgil looks around hastily despite the agony of turning his neck. Logan's lied, surely he wants to hurt Virgil. Look how weak and dirty he is. That means he has to be here.

He's not.

Logan's telling the truth. Virgil can't believe it. All these years and Logan isn't even touching him, let alone hurting him.

"Really?"

Virgil watches as Logan's eyes turn even sadder. He reaches out and puts a hand on Virgil's shoulder. Virgil doesn't shrug it off. He's one moment off jumping into Logan's arms. He just wants to be held.

"Yes, really, I care about you, Virgil, as little as I show emotions I thought I'd made that clear."

Virgil thinks back to every time Logan held him, to every time he smiled at Virgil after Thomas got through a test even if Virgil messed it up. He thinks maybe Logan does care.

Then Logan starts talking again

"I don't know how or why or even what exactly happened but I can assure you, I'm never letting it happen again."

Virgil feels his heart soar the thought of not having to put up with this anymore, of having someone care and protect him. It's all he's ever wanted

Then Logan says something that makes his blood run cold.

"Even if I'm not around to stop it, Patton and Roman will stop at nothing, I'm sure, to stop it too."

He can't let that happen. Logan knowing is risky at best but Roman whose very look-alike has done this to him and Patton who Deceit so easily impersonated. He can't let them know. He feels his head shake and his neck let out a screech of pain in his body. He flinches.

"Do you not want them to know?" Logan says looking crestfallen.

Virgil shakes his head slowly to avoid pain, it still hurts though. He knows maybe later Logan will talk him into it with his stupid fucking logic. For now though Virgil just wants to feel safe. He doesn't want to be in this room where he's been hurt so many times. He wants to leave.

"Logan, can we leave?" Logan doesn't look at all surprise Virgil asked and teleports him to his room or rather his bathroom.

°°°°°°°°°°

When Virgil asks to leave Logan doesn't even need to think. He takes them to his bathroom and sets Virgil down in the bath. He lets Virgil take his pyjamas off himself. He doesn't want to push any limits. He turns on the bath and sets the temperature to a perfect 40°C. Not too hot for any cuts but warm enough to be comforting. He then turns to go get his medical box but Virgil lets out a soft sound as he reaches for the door.

He won't leave then. If Virgil wants him here, he'll stay. Logan's not sure what's happened to Virgil but he assumes a fair guess would be rape. He feels the ache in his chest pound again. He surveys Virgil's marks as the water fills the tub. It doesn't look like it was just one culprit. Logan hates that he knows exactly whose done this. He should have known from the way Virgil acted around them something more than just uncomfortable family bonds was to blame.

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When Virgil came to the light sides at age 15, none of them were quite sure who he was. They knew that a side had been created when Thomas turned 7 but he had quickly been labelled a dark side by Deceit and he and Remus had taken him to raise. However the boy who arrived, sobbing and covered up in long sleeves didn't seem like he belonged to them. He seemed too kind, too young to have any bad intentions. Patton immediately set him down with cookies while Logan asked questions.

They quickly learnt that this side was Anxiety and was indeed Deceit and Remus' child. Logan wasn't really sure whether anxiousness really fit into any side, light or dark, so when Anxiety asked to stay with them instead off Remus and Deceit (who he seemed very anxious to keep out of the conversation), Logan couldn't see any reason this far too skinny boy shouldn't stay.

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It isn't until now Logan realises exactly why Virgil was so grateful for them letting him stay. No child should have been subjected to this sort of abuse so young. Nobody should have to be subjected to this abuse, period.

Logan stops the bath running. Virgil is just lying there in the water. He looks serene and strangely calm. He didn't technically need a bath but Logan knew a good soak would do well for his nerves.

He doesn't even think about it before he starts washing Virgil's hair while sitting on a stool he grabbed. It feels just like that night Virgil came to them. He and Roman had helped wash the boy then and now it feels like it's all one cycle. Either way Virgil relaxes as Logan pushes his fingers through his hair. It's soft and Logan likes running it through his fingers.

It's been so long since Logan got to raise or pamper a child. Patton, Roman and him were all pretty much created at the same time. There was a brief time where he had to help raise Deceit and Remus but Roman saw how many problems Logan was having and offered to raise them instead.

Logan feels different now, he feels like he's parenting in a strangely different but better way. He lets Virgil get out of the bath and he summons the first aid box. He picks out some of the weird monster band-aids Patton created and covers Virgil's cuts with them he can't do anything about the tears in Virgil's hole but he finds a soft cushion to him to sit on and some of Logan's pyjamas which will fit loosely around his shredded waist, when he moves him to the bedroom.

It's late enough now that they really should think about sleep but Logan doesn't think Virgil's had much to eat so he summons some of Patt's cookies and some milk. He doesn't know why he heats it but it feels right. He watches Virgil bite ravenously before whincing at the pain of solid food. Logan decides instead to add a meal replacement to the milk and wraps the cookies up for later.

°°°°°°°°°°

Virgil stands in a daze as Logan places band-aids on all the cuts. It takes a while and Virgil's legs are trembling with the effort of standing. Logan takes notice and hands Virgil a cushion, before putting some of Logan's pyjamas on him and leading him to the bedroom. He sits Virgil down with the cushion. It hurts, a lot and Virgil feels strangely young when he feels his eyes mist. Luckily Logan's quick to get Virgil some of Patt's cookies and some warm milk. Virgil smiles. He loves Patton's baking. He takes a bite quickly realising he's starving but as soon as he swallows it's like hell opened up in his throat. It burns every second it rips down his recovering throat.

He thinks he might be crying but luckily Logan's quick to hand Virgil the bottle of warm milk, it tastes like chalky strawberries but Virgil drinks every drop down and feels less empty by the end. He blinks sleepily at Logan and Logan manoeuvres him gently until he's under the bed sheets. The lights dim and little but accurate constellations appear on the ceiling. Virgil thinks he might of giggled at that before collapsing into slumber.

°°°°°°°°°°

When Logan looks at Virgil resting and letting out soft sounds in his sleep. He thinks his heart is slowly repairing itself after falling apart earlier. He knows he'll feel a lot better once he sorts this out once and for all. That can wait though. For now he thinks some sleep is in order.

Chapter Text

When Patton does his nightly checks he always checks Virgil's room first. It's a tradition from Virgil's first night at the house. So when he goes around to find Virgil missing he freaks out a bit (it's never a good thing to find a side missing, let alone one with a bad history of disappearing for weeks on end.) He steps into the room to see maybe Virgil's at his desk but the room is eerily silent and empty.

Patton lets his emotions get the best of him and practically runs towards Logan's room. He doesn't bother knocking and instead bursts open the door.

He's very glad he didn't make too much noise and wake them up because then all this cuteness would be lost. His heart is practically molten at the sight.

Logan's arms are loosely wrapped around Virgil whose holding onto Logan's torso like a child would a teddy. Logan's even managed to curl himself protectively over Virgil so Virgil's nestled into his chest. It's an adorable scene made even sweeter by the two's gentle snores.

It's only after watching the domestic scene for a few minutes that Patton thinks to question how it came about. Logan's protectiveness and Virgil's affection, well Patton can only think of one explanation!

They're dating!

They have to be! Logan never lets people in his room, let alone sleep beside him. Plus Virgil's never cuddly unless he really cares about you. This is such great news! Why wouldn't they tell him and Roman though? Patton supposes they wanted to keep it a secret until a less stressful time (Deceit and Remus really are a handful.) Well a secret it shall stay he thinks as he slowly closes the door and checks in on Roman whose sleeping starfish, as normal, over the bed. Patton only hopes they come out soon so he can bake a cake to celebrate.

°°°°°°°°°°

When Virgil wakes up he feels warm all over. Warmer than he's ever woken up. His room is always cold so he has to bundle up to wake up not shivering. Even then his feet still feel like ice. Not this morning though, it's nice.

Too nice. Something has to go wrong soon.

It's not until Logan starts stiring that he realises it already went wrong. He let someone in. He let himself be vulnerable. He could have been seriously hurt.

He wasn't though. Logan was kind. Caring. So much better than Virgil could have ever expected that discovery to go. His mind supplies him with plenty of ways Logan could have reacted; there's plenty of blood involved, always Virgil's.

Soon Virgil knows Logan's fully up because his heartbeat speeds up and his breaths are deeper. He doesn't seem repulsed that Vigil is snuggled into his chest like something pathetic. In fact Virgil swears he feels Logan's arms pull him tighter, if that's even possible at this point (there's barely room for air). He's not sure why after last night's fiasco Logan hasn't just tossed him back over to Remus with a: "You can have him. He's defective, and far too unreliable to ever influence Thomas positively. He can barely protect himself, let alone others." Virgil swears he can just hear it happening.

Logan said he'd protect him though. "I'll never let it happen again." Rings around Virgil's head. The words fill him with calm, like a spell has been cast that will make everything alright. In fact Logan's arms wrapped around him, just by themselves, feel like a shield from the outside world.

Of course that's when Patton knocks to say breakfast is ready. Virgil should be grateful for small mercies though because the door at least stays shut. Logan gently moves Virgil's arms and assesses him. Virgil glances up at him, the late morning light makes him look slightly less nerdy. Some might say strong or reliable, you're not one of those people though. Instead you're one of the people that says: "Nice bed head." Your throat protests at the action and you're reminded of exactly why you're in Logan's bed.

"Like you're doing much better yourself." You gasp. Logan using sarcasm. Unheard of!

He notices your surprise and chuckles. The night's sleep adding a deeper tone to it, it reminds Virgil of cartoon fathers' voices.

Logan stands up and clicks his fingers. Suddenly both you and him are dressed and ready for the day. "I suppose we should head down before Patton worries." Virgil says making a move toward the door but Logan stops him.

"We can't ignore what happened." Virgil pull a face. He's been ignoring it all his life. He's pretty sure he can continue to. "No face will get you out of this, Virgil. I mean it." He continues to pull faces. It's his only defence right now. "We might as well get breakfast first if you're going to be so childish." Logan says disappointed and teleports them both down. Virgil feels a rush if embarrassment and regret. He didn't mean to be so rude. He's just scared to talk. He hopes Logan knows that.

°°°°°°°°°°

Breakfast goes without a hitch but Logan notes Patton keeps glancing between Virgil and him. He hopes Patton is just being overly worried about their tardiness and not suspicious. He doesn't want to push Virgil too far out of his comfort zone, like he clearly did this morning. Not until Logan can sort this out, make sure he's cared for and that Remus and Deceit stay as far out of the picture as possible.

Logan knows he will have to confront them about this soon but for now he wants to make sure today is as pain free for Virgil as it can be. He asks Patton if perhaps he could also make some porridge to add the growing pile of breakfast foods, this will be much easier for Virgil's throat than toast or bacon. He doesn't mention that bonus though.

Patton being the obliging man he is replies "Of course, anything else for my kiddos?" You're all slightly taken back when Virgil asks for hot chocolate, he's always been a strong believer of caffeinated drinks. None the less Patton's supportive of it and puts some milk on the stove with the porridge mixture.

Patton's quick and soon Virgil has a steaming "Grumpy the Dwarf" mug in front of him. Logan sees a hint of a smile flicker around Virgil's mouth at the mug (it's one of the many Disney mugs the sides own, this one is one of Virgil's favourite though.) Logan fills two bowls of porridge and hands one to Virgil who gives him a thankful smile. There's no magic that can heal his wounds so Logan's determined to nurse him to health instead. Although Logan notes, doing so might mean lending his heart to more pain

Roman, Patton and Logan chat while Virgil eats and drinks. It's not a massive change from usual but Virgil normally has a few sarcastic comments to add so Logan joins in more often to soothe any suspicions.

Soon the sides have munched through Patton's breakfast and are splitting up to start their daily activities. Logan is quick to whisk him and Virgil back to his room with some rushed goodbyes. He briefly considers going to Virgil's room instead but he can't risk it; he instead takes them back to the galactic walled room that Logan resides in.

He braces himself to begin bluntly asking questions. Unfortunately Virgil only gives him a look of pain and then ends up falling down onto on the floor.

°°°°°°°°°°

Virgil's not surprised when, he's barely made it two steps/half-hearted limps away from the breakfast table that he gets teleported away. He really should stop Logan from doing that he thinks as he grips a bed post through the dizziness. He can see Logan's sharp blue tie through the blurry vision and focuses on it while the nausea settles.

He's not quite over it when Logan's voice pierces through the ringing. God was it this bad last night when he arrived? Scratch that Virgil remembers nothing but a soft blankety emotion from last night. That and some others that should be left forgotten.

"Are you alright?"

Virgil thinks about that question a little too hard which ends up being his body's downfall as his legs crumble beneath him. He ends up sat staring up at Logan from his space next to the bed post.

"I will take that as a no." Virgil smiles but nods. He thinks it's probably just low iron levels but clearly his body is not up to much, not while healing so many wounds. Logan fetches some sort of milk drink. It tastes familiar but Virgil can only grasp at cottony thoughts so long before he just lets it go. He lips it down and feels much better for it. Clearly sugar filled chocolate liquid and an equivalent soupy bread is not enough after... Virgil mentally backs away from that train of thought

"You look better now. You were looking a little pale but I assumed a lack of ultra violet light was to blame." Virgil looks at him quizzically but the look is missed and Virgil's slowly de-fogging mind doesn't connect the missing dot between ultra violet and sunlight.

"I'll assume from the lack of argument I am okay to continue?" Logan, for once, phrases this like a question rather than misreading a situation and storming through like he used to a couple of years ago.

"Yeah." Virgil replies weakly. His throat letting the words out with minimal pain. That drink must be magic. Maybe not literally but it certainly seems to have filled in something his body was craving.

Logan looks concerned for a beat but Virgil chooses to ignore it. He will be fine. He's just got to let Logan do the talking.

"I know this is a topic you've made transparent you'd rather abstain from but I feel it must be addressed."

"Whoah, dumber words for the collapsed kid on the floor please." Clearly Virgil's need to joke while in pain is still prominent.

Logan doesn't seem to understand the joke of Virgil being like the child of the situation and instead looks puzzled yet complies.

"You may move to the bed if you want." Virgil blushes remembering the compromising position they woke up in but moves because he can feel pain fizzling up his spine and backside. It's definitely more comfortable on Logan's bed than the floor.

"As I was saying, while you'd rather avoid this topic, I feel in order to make you feel safe it must be dealt with."

Virgil worries what dealt with implies. He doesn't know what he'd do if certain people got involved. He has a feeling there's no hope in Logan trying to reason with them. Virgil thinks "in order for him to feel safe" they should quit while they're ahead.

"I do see that it may be difficult for you to understand but it's not right that you've been subjected to this for a considerable time I'd assume."

"Assuming makes an ass out of you and me." Virgil parrots Patton. He doesn't know what else to say. He doesn't want to confirm it but lying proposes a much bigger threat. Logan seems to understand Virgil's dilemma and nods.

"I hope you know that even if you did lie in this conversation, Deceit would pose no threat. This is a room is a place of logic. He has no power, both metaphorically and literally." Virgil didn't know that. He relaxes knowing Deceit couldn't just teleport in, he'd have to walk through the entire house.

"Now, Virgil. I must ask the extent of this abuse. Is this the first time Deceit and Remus have exploited your body like this?" Virgil feels himself tense up again. His back is starting to hurt from it.

He can't bring the words up to say anything; the words feel like bile in his throat, instead he just gives a quick shake of his head. Logan doesn't look surprised.

"Do they do anything else to you?" He asks. His voice softening, his words becoming less complex and warmer with emotion.

Virgil thinks back to the circular cigarette scars on his feet. The slashes along his back about the length of Remus' dirty butchers knife. The Adders' marks along his legs from a deep, barely lit, pit of "pets". The gashes along his hips from un-trimmed claws.

He nods.

Again there's no look of shock on Logan's face. Virgil doesn't allow himself to dwell on how obvious these answers must be.

"Is there anything that needs immediate attention?" Logan thinks he patched everything up last night but in the hurry to get Virgil fed and in bed he may have overlooked something. Virgil pats up his dark Jean clad legs, but other than all the pain the cuts give out nothing that seems to bleed into the fabric. He's used to checking for marks above clothing and there's no sign of an untreated mark.

He shakes his head and Logan gives a sound of relief. He worries that he's asking too much from Logan. Maybe he's stressing him out. Maybe Logan will give up on him.

Then Logan smiles at Virgil and Virgil's thoughts stop.

Something about Logan standing at the end of the bed smiling down, shushes all the negativity in Virgil's mind and flips a switch and triggers that soft feeling from last night. Virgil feels his mind go syrupy like molasses, his eyes feel wider and his mouth feels empty. He feels an urge to put his fingers in but resists it in favour of a more socially acceptable water bottle. He drinks as Logan asks the next question.

"Do you need anything? Care, food, drink? I'm sure after... the events of last night you could use some more electrolytes."

Virgil flinches at the thought of last night. It feels distant in this room, on Logan's bed, yet so foreboding.

He feels a urge to have something smoother than water slip down his throat. He surprises himself by asking for milk rather than a sugared coffee. He only just stops the request for it to be warm from slipping out. He combats the pressing thoughts of what's going on that it's probably just him being still dizzy from collapsing. He doesn't try to think too much about the fact he feels fine now, not at all dizzy.

Logan leaves to go get the milk and suddenly the room feels a lot bigger. Emptied. Scary. He feels small. Vulnerable. Overwhelmed. He lets out a call but no one comes. He doesn't know why he's suddenly unable to be alone but it feels wrong. It makes him feel unsafe, like something could hurt him. Like someone could hurt him. The thought brings blood and knives to mind. A sharp laugh as Virgil's body releases a torrent of crimson down onto the person gripping his thighs tightly's hands. He lets out a few tears before he lets go and begins to sob. He tries to muffle it with a hand, crying means a beating. He doesn't even acknowledge the fact Logan's back milk in hand. He's too busy crying.

°°°°°°°°°°

It's a surprise when Virgil asks for milk of all things but Logan feels after having only curt answers and long pauses Virgil probably isn't with it right now. It's a bigger surprise when he comes back to find Virgil sobbing on his bed. It's not every day Logan feels paternal instincts kick in, normally only when Thomas sees one of his friends' babies or when Roman comes back a mess from battling mental beasts in the Mindscape, but right now he feels a rush of endorphins all at once.

He's next to Virgil in an instant. He climbs up onto the bed and sits in front of Virgil. Virgil looks up at him with something fearful and young in his eyes. A few muffled words escape from where Virgil has managed to shove a hand over.

" 'm sorwy. Pwease dow'nt hit. Please." Logan can barely understand it through the hand and the odd wrecked sob but all he knows is he wants Virgil back to happy. He just doesn't know how to get the tears to stop. His instincts grab the milk. He tries to hand it to Virgil but Virgil doesn't grab it. He doesn't seem to understand what the glass is for. Logan spots the forgotten (and now empty) water bottle and in a moment of sanity puts the milk into it.

He tries again to hand the water bottle over to Virgil. Again Virgil ignores it in favour of sobbing weakly around his hand, Logan thinks he hears a sucking sound. Logan doesn't understand why he's so hell bent on getting this milk into Virgil but something in him, something based on more primal caring instincts tells him it's important to provide for him. To make sure an upset child is fed.

----------

"He has to eat something." Patton says looking at a young Virgil, who resembles a skeletal thing.

Logan agrees a malnutritioned child is never a happy nor a healthy child. Yet Virgil refuses food. He only gives an explanation that it's taking too much. Perhaps he doesn't realise food is infinite in the Mindspace.

Yet he finally relents to the prospect of a drink. Logan is quick to tell Patton in hushed whispers to make it a protein milkshake. Virgil needs all the nutrients he can get (even if it comes in un-fulfilling liquid form.)

Virgil gulps it down and some colour returns to his gaunt cheeks. The growing anxiousness Logan felt upon gazing on the child lets up. He feels like he's made a difference in someone's life for once. It's nice. He thinks he'll try doing it again sometime.

----------


Logan figure if Virgil won't feed himself Logan will feed him. He softly eases Virgil's hand away with a great deal of difficulty and slides the bottle in past Virgil's lips. He starts to suckle gently and the tears subside. Virgil looks up at Logan as he sucks. His mind seems far away yet so focused in the moment. The contrast makes Logan dizzy.

The bottle is soon finished along with the tears. Logan eases the bottle out of Virgil's mouth but sees Virgil's fingers move to replace them. Something in Logan's mind, he can't begin to fathom what says Virgil needs something cleaner to suck on. Perhaps a candy necklace will do for now, if anything it'll give Virgil more electrolytes. Logan summons one on a a whim. Virgil claps as if he's never seen anyone appear-ify anything for him. He takes it in his hands and puts the chalky sweets in his mouth with a happy hum. Logan has no idea what's going on but he's certain they're both too calm about it.

He wonders if it has anything in common with Virgil's actions last night. He'll create a hypothesis later, right now he's got to help Virgil through... Well whatever this is.

He seems bored so Logan tries to think of something to do. He ends up resorting to turning on the tv. He supposes it can't hurt to indulge Virgil's child like mind set a little and turns on Octonauts. It seems more interesting than any other child's show and Logan's intrigued by the concept.

By the end of the fourth episode Virgil's singing along to the end show song. Logan finds it quite amusing to see Virgil sing. He doesn't often sing in front of Logan but he seems like he could probably do better if he didn't have a multitude of sweets in his mouth. He hasn't made any action to take them out so Logan figures he might as well let him keep them. Even if they are making Virgil's mouth sticky.

Logan's impressed by how far his instincts have carried him and his ability to "go with the flow" as Roman would say. Alas he still panics a bit when Virgil tiredly flops beside him and wraps his arms around Logan. He relaxes though as he sees how sweet Virgil looks tucked beside him, face nestled against the pillows and Logan's shoulder while the coloured necklace bobs to an unknown rhythm. Logan must admit Virgil looks adorable like this. Maybe it's just that for once in these 24 hours Virgil doesn't seem anxious or in discomfort. Logan allows himself to wrap an arm round Virgil's shoulders. Just to make sure he's safe, obviously.

They both fall asleep like that. Bathed in afternoon light with Octonauts playing softly from the tv until Netflix deems they're not watching. Instead they're indulging in a moment's peace before a storm.

 

Chapter Text

When Virgil wakes up that lovely warm feeling from yesterday morning is there. It encased him and warms him more than any of his hoodies could. He doesn't think about why it's there, or why it's only these last few days. He just lets it settle in his bones.

He looks around the room and finds swirling, evening light lit walls. Logan has a lovely room.

Virgil's never had the energy to re-do his own room since he arrived but Roman helped him decorate the first time with curtains and stuff after Patton ran off screeching about creepy crawly death dealers. He had a lot of fun though decorating with Roman. Even if he did go a little overboard with it when Virgil said he kind of liked spiders. Virgil figures they just wanted him to like his new room.

It only takes Virgil a few beats to realise that Logan's absent from his room. Virgil asks the empty room in case he's in the bathroom.

"Logan? Logan?" There's no reply.

Virgil doesn't know if that's a good thing. While avoiding talking about this afternoon sounds great the prospect of being alone is a surprisingly frightening one. Virgil's normally quick to bounce back after things like this.

Well if bounce back means spending an obsessive week crying and cleaning cuts while adding his own. None the less he's normally less dependent on others after things like this (otherwise known as completely abandoning them in favour of wondering around the Mindspace plains stuck in an endless cycle grief.)

Virgil gets up from Logan's bed after trying to physically shake those thoughts from his head. There's less protest from his muscles this evening, maybe rest really is good for healing. He makes his way over to Logan's door before realising he should probably change his outfit to something less sticky. He instead just uses magic to clean himself up. He can't be bothered with picking a new outfit. He'll do it later, probably after a long, boiling hot bath. Or shower, he should get out of Logan's hair for once.

Virgil steps out into the corridor and is greeted by silence. Even the common room looks empty and desolate. Perhaps they've all been called out by Thomas to help with cooking.

All is silent for a few seconds more but a small sound starts up. Virgil strains and deduces it's coming from down the corridor and more precisely in his room.

Fuck, fuuuck.

Who the hell left his room unlocked? Oh right Virgil the moron. God dammit. He must have forgotten to lock it after Logan found him. Great work Virgil now someone's in there snooping around looking at all the blades you just leave around your room like fucking ornaments he thinks to himself. He's an idiot. A fucked up little shit. He can't even keep a single secret. God.

Virgil's mind rushes to think if he's left out all the pictures he takes after every "event". The monochrome Polaroids Virgil keeps around to prove to himself he should appreciate every nice thing people do because he certainly doesn't deserve it after thrusting his scared self onto them. It's stupid he knows and the other sides would be devastated if they saw those pictures and knew why Virgil took them but honestly, he's been raised to see his punishments as helpful reminders. They tell him his place in the world.

He rushes over to the door and finds it ajar. Inside is Logan using his computer. Holy shit Virgil thinks. Of all the things he could be in here for and it's just to use the computer. Thank God.

"Hello Virgil. I assume you had a good rest. I certainly found it relaxing." Something feels colder about Logan but Virgil figures it's probably just that he's doing his weird switch off all emotions thing. Makes sense he did just watch Virgil act like a baby for hours so he's probably just decide Virgil isn't worth it any more.

"I hope it's alright I used your computer. I've always seen them as frivolous in comparison to laptops really but I've misplaced mine so yours will be adequate." Logan's words are said slow but they feel fast in Virgil's head. Normally Logan leaves what he call conversational pauses so Virgil can speak but he seems to just be talking in long chunks with no input from Virgil. Although he does raise a familiar point. Logan's always pointing out that Virgil would get out his room more if he could take tumblr with him.

"Yeah it's alright I suppose. Just don't check my history." Virgil jokes weakly. Being back in his room is disturbing and it's really throwing him off what was an alright day. The sheets are ruffled and he wonders if they've been changed since... Virgil chooses to power through onto a different thought but he spots a slimy white stain on his usually purple sheets and instantly knows they haven't.

Logan follows his eye line and laughs. It's cool and unlike Logan's normal chuckle.

"Yes we had quite a bit of fun with your punishment, didn't we Virgey?"

Virgil turns cold and stiffness. His centre of being is collapsing.

"Well Virgil, did we or didn't we? Answer the question." Deceit's voice is his own with a hint of malice yet he remains in Logan's image.

Virgil doesn't think he can get the words out of his throat. They stick and gurgle. He knows he can't say no but Deceit will know he's lying if he says yes. It's a twisted mind game.

He stays silent.

Deciet steps closer.

"Well Virgil, I'm quite offended. I go to all the effort to come see you. I even give you a nice show with my little transformation trick and you won't even answer my question."

Virgil knows what will happen as soon as Deciet raises his hand. The impact across Virgil's face stings. The rubber glove only serves to hurt more. The sharp sound of the slap fills the room before Deceit's voice interrupts it.

"Oh don't worry I understand if you're enjoying your time with Logan more." Virgil feels more fear coarse through him. He knows now that Deciet knows exactly what Virgil's done.

"Poor little Virgil being fed lie after lie. Do you really think he cares about you? That he'll "protect" you? Fat lot of good he's doing now. I'm still here and you're still going to get punished." Virgil doesn't know what to do. Deciet looks ready to kill. Except the expression plays out on Logan's face. Logan's going to kill him.

He pulls out a knife that's familiar to Virgil, the long snake he pulls out Virgil is less familiar with. Deciet watches as it makes it's way over to Virgil. Virgil steps away but is caught up to. It slithers it's way up his legs, making sure to wrap tightly and moves up toward Virgil's arms. It coils around his torso trapping his arms tightly and pressing them into his ribs. Next it makes it's way slowly round his neck. Tightens and then nestles it's head into Virgil's mouth.

Virgil is powerless to stop any of it. He's paralyzed with fear when the snake's head breaches his mouth. He only lets out a gentle sob around it. He feels so weak as it squeezes around his neck, constricting his airway and turning all thoughts of escape into mush.

Deciet laughs at the sight of Virgil standing, swaying with a lack of vital oxygen. It's a truly delightful sight and he's glad Remus suggested it. Virgil look at him with tear and terror filled eyes. He knows he deserves this though thinks Deciet as he brandishes a butcher's knife.

Virgil feels the snake let go and then constrict once more as Deciet approaches with his knife. He can't let this happen. It was supposed to stop now. Virgil was suppose to be safe.

The knife tip trails along a spare space on Virgil's neck. He won't mark there it's too obvious to the other sides.

The knife presses in.

It slides through the layers of skin until it nestles in thick blood. It's then that Virgil realises Deciet has no intentions of letting him go back after this. Running away was one thing but letting another side know about the true extent of his childhood. That's worth Virgil's life.

Virgil sobs around the snake in his mouth. There's no hope of escape for him. He's going to die he thinks as the knife makes it's way across his throat and lets out copious blood onto the snake below it. The snake responds with a pulse around his throat and a hiss in his mouth. Virgil can feel the vibrations down his throat. He feels everything go numb as Deciet applies more pressure to the knife. Rocking it back and forth along the deep cut. Then wiping the excess blood on Virgil's face, nicking it as it goes.

Virgil's eyes go fuzzy with from something very unlike tears, black dots swarm his vision. His ears take on a ringing sound. He feels himself hit the ground as a knock on a door and a gasp fills the room. Virgil sees a smear of light blue and grey before it all fades out around him. He wonders if it's an angel.

 

Chapter Text

Patton doesn't always have a lot of power in and around the Mindspace. Sometimes if Thomas experiences an emotion it can give Patton an extra umph but other than that the most he can normally do is simple teleportation and summoning.

He can't transform like Deceit. He can't change people's perceptions like Remus. He can't even do that weird thing Logan does where if he wants to he can write notes in mid air. Patton loves that, he wishes he could doodle all around the room. He'd probably end up leaving all the cute stuff up though (and it'd all be so cute!) and waste his energy.

Sometimes though in moments of high stress or intense emotions Patton is more powerful than any other side.

An instance would be when he heard that Thomas's long term boyfriend was moving away and had to break up with Thomas. Patton was so devastated managed to pull everyone else from their space in the Mindspace and palace to where he was; sure Logan and Roman can teleport other sides sometimes but it's a bit of a strain on them so they only eve teleport one Side at a time. No other side has ever managed that many teleportation at the same time and so far and Patton's never been able to re-create it.

Until now.

Seeing Virgil. His kiddo, a child he's watched grow from the quiet, gaunt teenager to someone who can say their mind. Bleeding out on the floor of his own room, a place Patton had picked out specially for him. A place he thought Virgil'd be safe in. While that hideous monster has the audacity to laugh with Logan's face. Something builds in Patton. It fills him up, frothing and overflowing.

Patton sees a bright blue light and then it's gone as soon as it came. It takes Deceit, that strange rope and all the spare blood with it. For that one side lost though, two have joined.

Virgil's still unconscious though. His mouth is slack and his neck just seems to be replacing the blood Patton cleaned up. He's letting out odd gurgling sounds and Patton doesn't know what to do.

He feels so weak after letting all that magic out. He can't even feel it's normal comforting heat. Instead he manages to make his way over to Virgil's bed and sit down. His hand touches something dry and crispy. It's a pool of dried blood. Patton doesn't even know how to respond to that right now. He fights against the slip into sleep while the other fret over Virgil. He's done all he can though and he's entirely drained. He'd do it all again though. Anything for his famILY.

°°°°°°°°°°

Roman is in the middle of fighting off some strangely gooey black creature when a burst of magic sends him packing and into Virgil's room. It takes Roman a few seconds to stabilize himself but when he finally does there's only a hideous scene waiting for him.

Virgil's lying with a massive gushing gash right over his delicate pale neck. It's releasing wave after wave of sharp red onto the floor and saturating into Virgil's clothes.

He watches as Logan rushes over to Virgil. There's silence in the room.

All except for Logan's sobs as he casts healing magic over and over onto the bleeding boy. Roman tries to cast them as well but he's much better at appear-ify-ing things than anything. He gets as much as he can manage.

Logan's medical box. Bandages that were once used for props. Patton's softest blankets. Piles of pillows from the cupboard in the common space. Anything he thinks will help. It all appears in seconds. Times of need always help power the sides' energy reserves and so a pile of things quickly surmounts in the room.

Logan systematically removes gauze and sterilizing wipes from his box. Every time he cleans up a spot he has to quickly patches it up before it starts to spill Virgil's precious blood. There's no telling how much he's lost.

Logan finally manages to sterilize and patch the entire cut. Though his tears just continue to fall onto Virgil as he wraps a bandage around Virgil's neck.

Roman doesn't even think about the fact that Logan never cries. He doesn't think about the fact that Virgil looks so helpless like this. He doesn't think about how the only thing Virgil will remember about Roman is all the arguments on who's on who's side of the sofa. He doesn't think about how he can feel wet streamy tears are dripping down because he wishes he'd made it clearer he loves Virgil more than he ever did his actual brother, a trillion million times more. That Virgil will never know Roman only argues with him because he doesn't know what else to say sometimes and Roman just wants to break that white buzz of silence he knows builds in Virgil's head. He's definitely not thinking any of that and he's certainly not crying.

He's strong, he has to be strong for Virgil right now. He has to be strong for Patton and Logan. Which is why he's definitely not making his way over to Virgil to whisper apologies in his ear while Logan lays out the blankets and pillows that Roman summoned.

He's strong so he definitely doesn't join Logan in cuddling Virgil after he's been hooked up to all sorts of machines that only Logan knows the names of.

He's strong. He's strong for his famILY. Which is why he doesn't fall asleep with Logan. Instead he teleports himself to where he knows Deceit and Remus hang out and beats the shit out of them. He throws punches. Uses magic blasts. They're no match for him. He was made to protect people. It's in his blood.

He doesn't care about them now, maybe he did when he used to sneak them Patton's cookies when they were young. Maybe when he used to tell them bed time stories but how dare they do this to another side? He knows they never mean to hurt Thomas with all their schemes, it's what they're made to do, they can't help it but to purposely do this to Virgil? Virgil, who Roman had sworn to protect as soon as he laid eyes on the slight boy? How fucking dare they! He punches them until they stop fighting back. He uses all of the left over magic to keep their beaten bodies in that place; deep down Thomas will still feel their presence but they'll never see the light of day again.

Roman will never let them leave. Even if it means never being able to use magic again.

He walks back to Virgil's room. His thoughts swirling dangerously close to murder.

°°°°°°°°°°

Logan doesn't know at what point in he stopped crying and fell into a fitful sleep. He regrets it though when he wakes up. He needs to stay up to administer everything and track numbers. Virgil's blood pressure is still low when Logan wakes up though however the feeding tube's doing wonders for his blood sugar levels. Logan tries to focus on all the numbers. He tracks them in the air as he checks the IV's administrating pain medication. The dark blue numbers light the gloomy room in a way normal bulbs never seem to.

Virgil's still unconscious but his heart beats faster than last time Logan checked. It's good.

He's going to be alright.

Right?

Logan's never had to do this. Collapsion and blood loss recovery has always been a thing to occasionally Google when he gets curious on developments in the medical field. Never something he'd have to use to help someone he cares about.

Not on Virgil. Not on his friend. Not on his little boy.

Logan doesn't have time to think about the way that nickname feels right. His thoughts turn instead to his failure. He promised Virgil he'd keep him safe. He promised! And he failed. He failed so spectacularly that Virgil could die. He could lose this precious being. All because he wanted to remind Thomas of his doctor's appointment tomorrow.

He's made a massive fucking mistake. He knew he should have confronted Deceit and Remus before now. He could have stopped this. Virgil could be sleeping soundly in Logan's bed tonight rather than collapsed on the floor in a makeshift bed. He could be breathing properly rather than in an oxygen mask.

He should have known better. He puts his hand on Virgil's face. He looks so young in the blue and purple light. The same little boy that turned up years ago and changed everything. Just like back then everyone's going to protect him with all their might. They won't let anything happen to him ever again. Never again.

He's just about to leave to go and make sure Deceit can't ever walk again but Virgil's eyes move.

And then his eyes are open. Looking at Logan.

Logan swears he's crying again. Virgil's alright. He's actually alright. Logan slowly engulfs him in a hug and Virgil lets his eyes slip close again. Logan lets him rest because he's alright. He's going to be okay. Logan knows he's definitely crying now but it doesn't matter anymore because it's going to be okay. Virgil's going to live.

Chapter Text

When Patton wakes up there's a coolness to his body that even his returned magic doesn't make a dent in. The familiar warmth of his magic running through his veins doesn't make an impact to his chilled face and fingers. Patton's about to ignore it and get a start on breakfast but upon cracking his eyes opens he realises sweet fluffy kits! This isn't his room; or his bed.

The memories of last night hit him like a freight train.

His youngest kiddo laying lifeless in a pool of his own blood. A cruel laugh on the lips of a disguised monster. A overpowering surge of magic that flowed through Patton's body.

Patton leaps up from the bed he's on and spots Logan, Roman and most importantly Virgil, lying in a sea of blankets and pillows. Virgil's hooked up to all sorts of slowly humming machines; Patton can see a few loose blue numbers floating near many of them. A slow panic floods Patton's system, Virgil's throat is wrapped in a medical whiteness. He knew the cut was bad but, from the looks of the thick bandaging, it was a lot deeper than Patton thought.

Ice runs through Patton yet again as he realises, this can't have been a one time event. Deciet is a systematic person , he would never attack a side randomly. Fear builds as Patton realises that Deceit knew exactly what he was doing putting a knife into Virgil's throat like that. There was intent to kill.

Patton gets to his feet and rushes through the dark to the door. He might not be the strongest Side but he'll never stand by and watch anyone attack his friends like that. Not without dire consequences. Patton can feel that hot rush build in him again but there's a rustle from the blankets and then a day-clothes dressed Roman is walking over to him. Judging from the wrinkles, Patton thinks it's one of those occasional times in Roman's life where something was more important than looks. Perhaps that means he'll help Patton.

They seem to talk almost telepathically though. Roman knows what Patton wants and why but he just shakes his head at him.

"It's okay, Patton. We're safe. I took care of it." Roman's words are intended to be calming but Patton's head fills in the blank of "took care of".

Roman sees his mistake and is quick to fix it.

"They're alive. They'll just never leave that dark corner of Thomas' mind again." Patton calms exponentially. They may be the worst beings in the entire galaxy in every time line but any side's death would affect Thomas far too seriously to warrant their end.

"I suppose some breakfast is in order then?" Patton wonders if he's shoving them too far into normality for this event. Roman smiles in a way that says he couldn't think of anything better. Patton's glad, he needs something to make him feel useful.

Patton hesitates at the door and Roman spots it. They'll have to leave Virgil's room at some point though, might as well be to bring back some food. Besides they'll be back in minutes tops. Good thing too, if Roman feels like Patton does, leaving that room feels like leaving a part of himself behind.

Patton makes some porridge and coffee for them all, it's the only thing they have that's microwavable and Patton hopes it's smooth enough for Virgil should he want it.

Patton tries not to think about the way he hesitates before taking out a fourth mug and bowl. He knows why though. No one knows when Virgil will be awake enough to eat.

Roman and Patton settle into an uneasy silence as they make their way back to Virgil's room. The chill that had settled in Patton's bones this morning returns and he takes one of the many miscellaneous blankets and wraps it around himself.

Roman and him eat in relative quiet. Every word seems like too much of a disturbance in the room. Patton eats his porridge quickly as darker and darker thoughts fill his head. His emotions are so far off kilter he's surprised he isn't mid-way through a panic attack. He thinks the only thing stopping that is the need to be present if something happens. He can't be swept up trying to breathe if Virgil's heart stops.

In other words, Patton has fallen back into a coping mechanism of his; hyper-fixating on others problems to avoid his own. Patton feels like a bomb of emotion waiting to be set off. There's so much anger and sadness wound up inside him. He doesn't think he's ever felt this way. Sure sometimes he reminisces and gets misty eyed but never like this. It feels different in a way that makes it a thousand times worse.

Patton can't focus on that though, with Logan taking a much needed rest Patton has to look out for Virgil. He can't let emotions get in the way once again. He should have been helping last night rather than resting off a useless burst of magic. They have phones for God's sake. Although Patton has no idea what he would have done with Deceit before the others showed up but he could have done something that meant he could have been more helpful. Anything.

°°°°°°°°°°

Roman watches from the make shift bed as Patton wakes up. He must have been exhausted from hauling Roman and Logan over here and Roman assumes kicking Deceit out. He knows it was Deceit because Logan gasped his and Remus' name under his breath as soon as he saw Virgil. Roman knows Remus is too stupid to out smart Virgil, Deceit though well he can be quite a conniving little bitch. Roman can guarantee a costume was involved as well. Otherwise why else would Virgil let him in the room?

He watches as Patton takes on a blue glow and begins to storm out the door. Roman can't let Patton leave, there's no one in the world that needs to be here more for Virgil than the side who without fail coaxes him out of his room every time. Patton is Virgil's rock and if Roman's ever wiping to put aside his pride he'd admit he's Roman's rock too. Either way Roman begins to make his way over to where Patton has stopped at the door.

"It's okay, Patton. We're safe. I took care of it." Roman watches as Patton's glow only strengthens. He realizes why too late. He almost stumbles over words as he quickly corrects himself.

"They're alive. They'll just never leave that dark corner of Thomas' mind again." The glow settles and Roman watches as Patton's hands wring themselves with eagerness to do something. Anything. He's about to propose they make a start on breakfast when Patton beats him to it. They make their way down.

The microwave pings and Roman helps carry two mugs and bowls up the stairs and back into Virgil's room. He wonders if Virgil will be in a stable enough state when Logan wakes for them to move him into a friendlier room. Something about Virgil's room always felt too much like Deciet and Remus' nursery. Chilled and dim no matter how many night-lights Roman installed. He regrets not leaving those monsters to fend for themselves.

Roman settles back down into the lukewarm spot he had been sleeping in and watches as Patton shivers before wrapping a big grey blanket around himself. Roman hastily downs the warm coffee in an attempt to warm himself up. He's unsuccessful.

Two bowls and mugs lay steaming, slowly losing heat, next to Logan and Virgil. Until Logan stirs and begins to make his way through all the tasks and records of the machines. When he finally stops Roman simply tilts his head in the direction of the containers.

Logan eyes seem to gloss over as he eats, as if some far away place demands his attention far more than the dark room and silent sides.

Roman wonders if that place Is better. He wonders if their Virgil isn't attached to jostling machines. He wonders if their Roman is stronger than him. He wonders if they exist in that place at all or if Logan's enjoying the numbness that comes with a blank space. Roman thinks it's best if he stops wondering and starts speaking.

"Is he going to be alright?" He's met by a silence that announces only bad news. He glances at the other two sides only to be met by Patton's concerned eyes and Logan's blank stare. He repeats the question.

"Is he going to be alright?" Logan's stupor breaks and he finally answers with a curt "Yes." Roman considers asking Logan so many more questions ("How do you know? Are you sure? Is he still going to be the Virgil we know after this?") He doesn't though because Logan's reassuring smile give away all of the answers. Roman feels relief sweep away all of his lasting worries.

He's not even sure what it is exactly but a weight lifts from him, as if everything's become softer round edge.

°°°°°°°°°°°

When Logan wakes up he chooses to ignore the cold. It's not important. Nothing is more prevalent than Virgil right now. Logan eases himself into standing and stumbles his way through the blood rush. He systematically check the machines. The moment of calm that ended last night has worn off and now all Logan is is a husk full of regret and guilt. No matter how many number tenderly reassure him that Virgil is alright he pushes them away with a weak argument of: "What if he's not?"

He finally reaches the end of his manic checks and let's the weariness of a wrecked night sleep make it's way back into his bones. That is until he spot Roman making a subtle movement with his head to a lukewarm mug and bowl. Logan picks them up and shoots what he thinks may be a thankful look towards Patton. He's not sure of much at the moment though.

Logan loses himself in thoughts of grief and death. His thoughts spin down a rabbit hole of darkness. Logan doesn't know what's at the bottom but it beckons him like a siren. It calls in with a numbing sweetness. Logan misses when his face was marble and his heart was too frozen to know how to care so deeply about such a small person.

He lets the darkness sweep it's way into his soul.

A little speck remains relentless.

It wavers and swoops in at Logan tauntingly. It's not meniacle laughter Logan hears though; it's a giggle.

One that soothes him and washes his insecurities away like a warm bath. It's Virgil laugh. The quiet one he gave out when he'd cuddled up to Logan on that strange afternoon. It's full of something so sweet that Logan can't help but let it banish all the darkness inside of him. It bathes him in a pastel yellow feeling. A voice breaks through and turns a little lighter. It tries again and all that's in Logan's mind is a bright white light. Logan finally hears the words.

"Is he going to be alright?"

Logan doesn't hesitate. His body is full of hope and light.

"Yes."

Logan smiles for what feels like forever. He can't explain it but it feels like an angel has wrapped it's arms around him and is keeping him safe. Judging by the sweetness and calm Logan sees in Roman and Patton's eyes he's not the only one.

If Logan could have seen inside Virgil's mind he would have known it was Virgil keeping them calm. He can't though. Instead he just bathes in the feeling of relief.

°°°°°°°°°°

Virgil can hear a faint buzzing and footsteps. He can't move a muscle and his body is numb but he can hear every word. He can feel the way his heart gives a pump when he hears that Roman's taken care of everything. For once in his life Virgil doesn't have to worry about them.

Sure Virgil has those soft moments in Logan's room but there's a finality in this. Roman's magic is powerful. Much more powerful than Deceit's or Remus'. They won't be looming around ever again. Virgil will never have to smell the copper of his own blood on his bed sheets again. He'll never have to feel the way his entire body aches with the tiniest of movements after Remus has strapped him to a wall. Never have to feel the pierce of a knife against his softest skin.

Virgil's peace fades as his mind presents him with the memory of Deceit's actions. The way he held no mercy in his eyes. No emotion but pure rage. Virgil's heart let's out another palpitation as he recalls it was Logan's face twisted in such a terrifying way. He knows it was Deceit but something in his mind cries and sobs at the thought of Logan pressing the sharp point into Virgil's muscle and life source.

The coldness in Logan's eyes was so real to Virgil's oxygen lacking eyes. He shivers at the thought of that slick, pressing strangler, the way it's head nestled and clogged his throat. Virgil can feel his throat mimic the flutter of strangled breathing. He wonders if that's normal for a near death experience. To have his body replay it over and over as if he's some twisted tape recorder.

A door closes and Virgil can't tell how long it is until he hears it open again. There are no voices when whoever left comes back though. Just a clinking sound until Virgil hears someone near (they sound so close Virgil has to assume his fried senses just weren't picking up on their weight and heat) get up and walk around. Virgil thinks he hears some buttons be pressed. He's not sure though.

He hates not being able to see. His eyelids refuse to budge though, they hang heavy like curtains over his eyes. He remembers some sort of light not long ago though. He thinks he opened his eyes for someone some time ago. He just felt like they needed it.

He just felt this oppressive weight on his chest. The same one he feels when Thomas panics. He wonders who was so important to him his body's needs were over driven. He thinks he knows but he chooses to push it away as another weight settles into his chest.

It pushes down on his lungs. Crushing what little air was coming and going out of the way. Virgil tries to breathe but it doesn't relent. He tries again. He can feel himself go woozy. His weak brain tells him to relax. He tries. He focuses his brain on that sticky syrup feeling. That youngest and safety. The rock nudges. He releases all thoughts of panic and replaces them with Logan's warm body. The rock vanishes. The space around Virgil feels safer and happier. He's glad. He keeps thinking about the way that sweet feeling makes life so much easier to live, he enjoys it until his brain calls out for sleep.

Sleep answers and a peacefulness settles over Virgil's body. A tension he didn't know he was keeping is let go of and he enjoys a docile and pain free relaxation. It's a nice break.