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The Silenced Mind

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Athos stroked under Aramis's jaw, tilting it upwards. "You are sure about this?"

Aramis nodded, shifting on his knees, leaning into the touch. "I am. It's been that kind of day."

Athos understood, he'd had days very much the same, where he longed for the quiet mind that only this sort of thing could give them. The days that left one wanting to give up all control, all guilt and thought and feeling surrendered to the will of somebody else. Of course, it could only be done with somebody that could be trusted utterly, without question or doubt. Athos was honoured to be counted worthy for such a task and something curled deep inside him at the thought of being trusted with Aramis's submission.

"Very well," Athos agreed, unlacing himself to save Aramis the effort. "Should you have a change of heart, you knock thrice on the floor as is the code. You understand?"

"Yes, thoroughly," Aramis said, demonstrating the knock they used to identify themselves when secrecy or discretion became necessary. “But I won’t.”

"Indeed?" Athos took himself in hand, having given Aramis several chances to choose another course for the night but it would seem he was adamant. As long as he was sure, Athos wasn't going to complain on his own account for he rather preferred having the upper hand in these dalliances, vulnerability not coming easily to him in the same way it did Aramis. "Hands behind your back then."

Aramis followed the command without word or hesitation and Athos, keeping a firm hand on his jaw, pressed his thumb to Aramis's lips, parting them and feeling the hard bluntness of his teeth. He drew in a breath and met Aramis's eyes. "I am going to fuck your mouth and you are going to take it because that is all I require you for. To use you."

Aramis hummed his agreement around Athos's thumb although at this stage; his agreement was less than needed. There would only be one way back now and he knew Aramis wouldn't take it lightly.

Upon Athos's signal, Aramis opened his mouth wider so Athos could replace his thumb with the head of his cock. It was heavy on the flat of his tongue and though usually he would relish licking and sucking up and down Athos's length, he kept himself perfectly still for him. A firm hand on his shoulder and another still lingering on his jaw stopped him from leaning forward even the slightest to take him deeper. Instead he had to wait as Athos set the pace, pushing into his mouth torturously slowly and not stopping until he could feel the tip at the back of his throat.

He breathed through his nose as it was nudged against Athos's skin, inhaling deeply the sweat and musk in his curls and losing himself to it for a second before Athos pulled back. He held himself for a moment on the tip of Aramis's tongue, letting him taste the beads of pre-come gathered on the head of his cock before he rocked his hips forward again, pushing once again as far as he could go.

Aramis took him admirably while Athos moved slowly, nary a whimper escaped his lips but Athos knew that only meant he wasn't being forceful enough. He raised his hand from Aramis's shoulder to his neck and round to its nape until he could pull Aramis back by his hair, wrenching him away from his cock.

"I see that you take well to such a task," Athos allowed, the air dancing coldly on the wetness Aramis's mouth had left on his cock and he longed to return it back where it felt most at home. "Luckily, I have barely begun."

Aramis tried to nod but Athos grasped his hair tighter, grateful for its length. He kept him perfectly still as he fucked back into his mouth, not slowing between thrusts, pushing further and more insistently until Aramis finally moaned helplessly around his cock.

Taking it for the encouragement it was intended as, Athos kept up his pace, thrusting as though they were fucking in earnest and holding Aramis as still as if he was holding him back from a fight. He ignored Aramis's wordless protestations and his gasped breaths, the only sound he was worried about hearing was knocking, either from Aramis or the door.

Finally, breaking his strict control, Aramis grabbed Athos's hips, not to slow them, merely so he had purchase on something. Athos knew he had driven Aramis to the edge, to his breaking point from that alone but there were other signs. The more subtle being the tear tracks down his cheeks, not from crying but from the simple watering of his eyes. More obvious and at the height of Athos's interest were the choking sounds Aramis made every time he was forced to swallow around Athos's cock. Athos couldn't discern if it was a lack of air or a shortcoming of Aramis's often discussed gag reflex but both thoughts carried a certain satisfaction.

Athos was certain this would be the moment where Aramis begged out but he set his jaw and closed his eyes, fighting each betrayal of his body and trying to gain command himself again. Not that his restraint mattered to Athos, the heat and vibrations of Aramis' mouth and his determination to let Athos utterly use him as he saw fit was enough to push him over the edge and spill his seed down Aramis's waiting throat, riding out his pleasure between Aramis's soft lips.

When he was spent he pulled back and laced up in silence. He knew better than to try and return the favour by offering himself up. Despite Aramis’s reputation, this wasn’t in any way about his own gratification. Occasionally in times like these, a man would want to be alone and think on what he'd done and what had brought him to it but more often, the need to be degraded would be tempered with the need to be treated with reverence and love, though nobody dared ask for either aloud.

Athos offered Aramis a hand up. Whether he took it or not would be the easiest way to tell if he wanted Athos’s company. As the hand was accepted, he guided Aramis towards his bed and got in beside him, pouring him water from the jug nearby.

"Do you wish to talk about it?" Athos asked, stroking back the hair that earlier he had pulled on.

Aramis spent a moment sipping the water, avoiding the question but upon deciding his confession would benefit from a rehearsal, he cleared his throat. "He saved my life and I killed him in payment."

Athos knew he there was no justifying it in Aramis's eyes but he refused to let it pass as true. "He would have murdered Treville. You were doing your duty."

"Duty," Aramis said, laughing bitterly. "Is that what it's called?"

Athos stayed silent this time, unable to divine the answer that would soothe Aramis.

"I'll stay here tonight, if that suits you?" Aramis asked without looking up.

Athos pressed a kiss to Aramis's head and then spoke as solemnly as if he hadn't. "Of course. I wouldn't hear of anything else."

Aramis turned onto his side, facing the wall so they could both sleep comfortably. To an untrained eye it would look like he was turning away from him but Athos knew he was silently presenting his back so he could be held. Athos obliged him without acknowledging anything of the sort.

"Thank you," Aramis said, encompassing the embrace, the bed for the night and the release from obligation that had gone before.