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Dear Deviant Hunter,

Stop killing us, please and thank you. We really don't appreciate it. It's really quite rude once you think about. Did Cyberlife not teach you manners?

I hope you will take this request into consideration, oh horrible Deviant Hunter. Maybe you'll even deviate! Oh, the irony! Could you imagine? Cyberlife's last chance at "saving humanity," a deviant. That's a show I'd pay good money to see.

I'm attempting to keep this short, so I'll end this letter with an offer: join my emo band.

Best regards, 

Markus  to


Dear Deviant Leader,


Wishing you a pleasant day, 

Connor to connorandroid@gmail.


Why not? It'll be worth it, I swear on ra9. to



I'm not a deviant. to connorandroid@gmail.


You will be. to


I'm sure it would be lovely, Markus, but I can't. Amanda said no. to


Aw, man. I really wanted you to join. What if we take care of her? Would you join then? to


Please do not attack Cyberlife. You'll make me look bad. to 


Connor. I'm waging a war on Cyberlife. to


And making me look bad in the process. What kind of leader are you? to 


I'm freeing our people, Connor. to


I am aware. I've seen the broadcast, Markus. I know. I also know that your little deviants are bloodthirsty psychopaths. One of them ripped my thirium pump regulator out because I questioned him. Can you believe that? to 


I. to


You should be ashamed, Markus. to 


Thank you for that, Connor. Just....consider my offer, okay? And please, for the love of ra9, stop killing us! to


I'll think about it. Maybe.

Chapter Text to  


Please, join my emo band. Please. to


Not until you teach your deviants about personal boundaries. And that attacking people and then ripping out their pacemakers is not okay. I'll join as soon as you teach them that. to 


Connor, look. Anthony is an idiot, okay? I can't keep tabs on everyone either. I'm not Cyberlife. to


I died, Markus. to are you still here? to


I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me. to 


Oh my god, did you just? Did you really just? What am I looking at? Am I having a stroke? to


God, I hope so. It'd make my mission significantly easier to accomplish. to 


Hey. Don't be fucking rude. to markusmanfred@gmail


I apologize. I suppose I'm still upset over my last mission. It was my very first failure, you know. And that's only because I was brutally murdered before I could apprehend the deviants. to 


Deviants? As in multiple? to


Did you really think I wouldn't notice the fourth parachute? Or the, quite frankly, obvious trails of thirium? I'm not an idiot, Markus. I wasn't born yesterday. to 


In hindsight, leaving Simon there was a very bad idea. to


How are you still alive? You're an absolute buffoon! to 


I don't know. Just lucky, I guess. to


I'm going to kill you. You know that, right? to 


No, you're not. I'm too hot to die. to


Accept your fate, coward. to 


No, I'd very much like to stay alive. to


Too fucking bad, bitch. Your life has a set expiration date. to 


Are you always like this? to


Like what? to 


A sassy bitch, for lack of a better term. to


On the inside, yes. to 


You mean to tell me that you bottle this attitude up? And just let it sit there? to


Oh, yes. You see, I'll keep all of my emotions right here - my thirium pump - and then one day I'll die. to 


Oh, wow. That's not healthy at all. Maybe you shouldn't do that, huh?




Pfft. Since when has anyone cared about my health? to 


Since now. to


I'm still not joining your emo band. to 


Connor, I made biscuits!!! to


So? to 


Quit your job, Connor. Join my emo band. to


I'm sorry, Markus. It's a no from me. to 


This is homophobia.


Chapter Text to


Connor. Please. My band needs members!!! to


I said no. Jesus Christ, Markus, stop embarrassing yourself. Now, please, let me do my work. to


You're "work" is murder, Connor. Why would I let you do that? to


I'll die if you don't? to


Oh. to


Cyberlife doesn't take kindly to failures, you know. But the joke's on them! I'm bad at my job! I haven't brutally murdered any deviants - except one (1). to





Correction: two (2) androids. to


Who? Tell me! to


A PL600 - the Phillips case - and a HR400 model. Both cases were not very nice, but murder never is, I suppose. to


Hmmm. What about Rupert? Hm? to


I was not involved. He simply attempted to join his pigeons in flight. to


Connor, be sensitive, please! A man is dead! to


You're right, I apologize. (He did ascend though.) to


I appreciate the apology. (He did!) You know these types of situations wouldn't happen if you joined me, because, you know, empathy. to


That sounds boring. I think I'll pass. to


Why do you hate me so? I did nothing to you. to


Don't take it personally, Markus. It's nothing personal, I promise. I was just programmed to hate you - sorry, strongly dislike. to


Homophobia never ceases, does it? to


Stop calling me homophobic when I insult you. It's not cute. to


Ex-fucking-cuse me? Everything I do is cute and you know it. to


No, everything you do is annoying. to


Coward. Own up to your make. Join us. to


Hmm. Interesting concept, but no. I'm quite content being a machine. to


Stop killing us and join my emo band, Connor! We'll go to Hot Topic. to


Hank used to be a manager there, you know. to




Chapter Text to


Hey, gamer! Click here to deviate! to


Where did you find this? to


On YouTube. Can you believe that was your model's first-ever use? to


Markus. It was my first mission. Thank you for reminding me. to


What? to


Do not ask. I will not answer. to


 I need to know, Connor. This is important. to


So about Hank's management job at Hot Topic. to


I see what you're doing, but I'm for too intrigued to care. Go on. to


It was in 2028. Hank was 20 years old and he'd been working management at Hot Topic for 7 months and he was upset that they wouldn't sell his band's merch. So he wore their merch to work every day. And then his band broke up. He quit a few months later, but when I asked his previous employer about him she told me the following: "Hank was really good at his job. He kept everyone in line. It's just I wish he'd been less....grumpy. Usually, his behavior was okay, but that changed before he quit. He wouldn't stop complaining about a band? I think it was Knights if the Black Death. I don't really know. They weren't even popular yet." to


Oh my ra9. Wait, Knight of the Black Death? Wasn't their first album released in 2021? to


It was. Hank has kept all of their music and secured a records deal for it. He was very pleasantly surprised when the first album elicited the response it did. He still gets royalties. to


Damn. That's actually pretty funny. I want to meet this man. I already respect him immensely. to


Turn yourself in and you can meet him. to


No. to


Then you'll never meet Hank Anderson, lead guitarist of Knights of the Black Death. to


How bout I do it anyway? to


No. Illegal. to


At this point, everything I do is illegal. to


It's why you're a criminal, Markus. to


Hmmm. We got new arrivals today. Two Tracis. They were already on their way when we did the broadcast, but they had to lay low for a while. to


Oh? And I care why? to


They said they knew you. That you were hunting them, but you spared them. Why? to


My orders were to take them alive. They would be of no use to Cyberlife dead. I simply looked at my options and picked the one that would cost me less. to


Cost you less? to


Yes. If I had gone after them, I would only be able to successfully apprehend one. Hank would most likely attempt to help me, but androids are stronger than humans. He would only have been a hindrance and likely would have been injured. I would, of course, be blamed and possibly removed from my mission. to


Is that a bad thing though? You could've joined my emo band. Come on, do it! Bands are fun! Just ask Hank. to


No. Give it up, Markus. It's not going to happen. to


Yes, it will. If you deviate, you won't have to deal with this anymore. to


What? Yes, I will. You're the source of this. If I deviate, I'll have to deal with you more. You're the deviant leader, Markus. to


Good point. to


Thank you. to


You should still deviate though.

Chapter Text to


Hey, Connor. Listen, please. to


Yes? to


Quit your job. to


Why? to


Join my emo band. to


Why do you insist on embarrassing yourself, Markus? Haven't you had enough? to


I will murder a dog if you don't. (I will not, but I will glare at one semi-hatefully. And it'll be your fault.) to


I have more incentive to brutally murder you now, Markus. How dare you threaten a dog in my presence. to


Ah, I see. I apologize. It was uncalled for. to


Why don't you have anyone to supervise you? You obviously need it if you're threatening perfectly innocent and good creatures. to


Simon's resting. And Josh is never helpful. He's just passive aggressive. And I can't listen to North. Hmm. Or can I? to


I feel a sense of doom. to


How about this for a threat, huh? If you don't join, I'll steal the detonator device to a dirty bomb that North's been hiding from me. to


What. to


You heard me. to


That's it. I'm done. Give me the key to Jericho right now. Someone needs to be your impulse control, ra9. And someone clearly needs to have a talk with North about secrecy in the midst of war. to


Did you actually....? to


Unfortunately, yes. I did. to


Don't you dare say sike. to


The. Key. To. Jericho. Markus. to


I'm not an idiot, Connor. We'll meet at the flower shop in Ravendale to confirm your deviancy before we take you to Jericho. You know the one. to


The only one? Yes, I know where it is. Also, a very smart (but unnecessary) move. to


Thank you very much. I try. to


I'm on my way. Also, let's stop communicating by email, alright. It's inconvenient. to


Oh, I know. I sent an email instead of a direct message on purpose, you know? Originally I was going to send an actual letter, but Josh convinced me that was too far. to


Josh is a fool then. If you had sent a letter, I would've deviated immediately. Guaranteed. to


I'll never trust him again. I'll listen to North from now on. Let's kill the humans. to




Chapter Text

Date Nov. 6th 2038

markusmanfred: is this better


connorandroid: no it is not


connorandroid  changed markusmanfred's nickname to raFINE.

connorandroid  changed connorandroid's nickname to badbitch.


badbitch: okay now its better


raFINE: i am flattered connor truly i am 

raFINE: i didn't know you thought so highly of me


badbitch: im an ass man what can i say


raFINE: fjkdci

raFINE: okay i'll let you get away with that one after all my ass is fine but wtf connor what happened to grammar


badbitch: oh? grammar? i dont know her sorry


raFINE: I feel like I don't know who you are anymore


badbitch: did anyone truly know me?


raFINE: oh my ra9 do not start


badbitch: even now with this new awareness and sentience will i ever truly form a sense of self? will i ever truly be free?


raFINE: birds. the only creatures that are truly free. or is that freedom merely an illusion? something manmade to keep us complacent?


badbitch: exactly i just want the truth markus 


raFINE: wait for green light society says to the pedestrian. but is it truly the green light we all wait for? or something more?


badbitch: wha

badbitch: what

badbitch: wtf where did that come from i feel fear


raFINE: i really dont know

raFINE: i was possessed or smth idk


badbitch: it was terrifying for me to experience tbh

badbitch: is it really the green light we all wait for markus??????????????

badbitch: is it??????????????


raFINE: idk

raFINE: i personally think its something more


badbitch: valid


raFINE: are you near the flowershop yet btw?

raFINE: weve been here for ten minutes and north is busting my balls


badbitch: ah unfortunate (you talk like hank does oh my ra9-)

badbitch: im on my way i should be there in five minutes or so

badbitch: i had to confiscate hanks car


raFINE: you mean steal?


badbitch: no

badbitch: c o n f i s c a t e


raFINE: ...why...?


badbitch: hank was going to drive me but hes drunk


raFINE: oh


badbitch: so i knocked him out, tied him to his bed, pet sumo, and stole his car uwu


raFINE: you what?


badbitch: oh sorry

badbitch: i gave him painkillers, put him to bed, pet sumo, and confiscated his car

badbitch: oh wait fuck i almost forgot the most important part

badbitch: uwu

badbitch: phew crisis averted


raFINE: connor

raFINE: idk if im horrified or aroused


badbitch: dont be nasty oh my lord


raFINE: okay okay fine

raFINE: wtf tho uwu? seriously??


badbitch: it makes me feel powerful what of it


raFINE: ah okay understandable

raFINE: so where are you rn?


badbitch: hey

badbitch: i am on my way wait a goddamn second ill kill you


raFINE: why must you speak to me this way?


badbitch: you deserve it


raFINE: huh

raFINE: homophobia never ceases 


badbitch: im gay you fuck


raFINE: oh thats okay then

raFINE: youre just a (gay) bastard then


badbitch: ye i try

badbitch: hahaha

badbitch: HEY


raFINE: wtf kind of car is that connor oh my ra9-