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markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Dear Deviant Hunter,

Stop killing us, please and thank you. We really don't appreciate it. It's really quite rude once you think about. Did Cyberlife not teach you manners?

I hope you will take this request into consideration, oh horrible Deviant Hunter. Maybe you'll even deviate! Oh, the irony! Could you imagine? Cyberlife's last chance at "saving humanity," a deviant. That's a show I'd pay good money to see.

I'm attempting to keep this short, so I'll end this letter with an offer: join my emo band.

Best regards, 

Markus


connorandroid@gmail.com  to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Dear Deviant Leader,

No.

Wishing you a pleasant day, 

Connor


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.

 

Why not? It'll be worth it, I swear on ra9.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

 

I'm not a deviant.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.

 

You will be.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'm sure it would be lovely, Markus, but I can't. Amanda said no.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Aw, man. I really wanted you to join. What if we take care of her? Would you join then?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Please do not attack Cyberlife. You'll make me look bad.

 


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Connor. I'm waging a war on Cyberlife.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

And making me look bad in the process. What kind of leader are you?


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

I'm freeing our people, Connor.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I am aware. I've seen the broadcast, Markus. I know. I also know that your little deviants are bloodthirsty psychopaths. One of them ripped my thirium pump regulator out because I questioned him. Can you believe that? 


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

I.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

You should be ashamed, Markus.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Thank you for that, Connor. Just....consider my offer, okay? And please, for the love of ra9, stop killing us!


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'll think about it. Maybe.

Chapter Text

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com  

 

Please, join my emo band. Please.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Not until you teach your deviants about personal boundaries. And that attacking people and then ripping out their pacemakers is not okay. I'll join as soon as you teach them that.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Connor, look. Anthony is an idiot, okay? I can't keep tabs on everyone either. I'm not Cyberlife.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I died, Markus.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Then....how are you still here?

 


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Oh my god, did you just? Did you really just? What am I looking at? Am I having a stroke?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

God, I hope so. It'd make my mission significantly easier to accomplish.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Hey. Don't be fucking rude.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail

 

I apologize. I suppose I'm still upset over my last mission. It was my very first failure, you know. And that's only because I was brutally murdered before I could apprehend the deviants.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Deviants? As in multiple?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Did you really think I wouldn't notice the fourth parachute? Or the, quite frankly, obvious trails of thirium? I'm not an idiot, Markus. I wasn't born yesterday.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

In hindsight, leaving Simon there was a very bad idea.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

How are you still alive? You're an absolute buffoon!


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'm going to kill you. You know that, right?


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

No, you're not. I'm too hot to die.

 


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Accept your fate, coward.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

No, I'd very much like to stay alive.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Too fucking bad, bitch. Your life has a set expiration date.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Are you always like this?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Like what?


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

A sassy bitch, for lack of a better term.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

On the inside, yes.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

You mean to tell me that you bottle this attitude up? And just let it sit there?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Oh, yes. You see, I'll keep all of my emotions right here - my thirium pump - and then one day I'll die.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Oh, wow. That's not healthy at all. Maybe you shouldn't do that, huh?


 

connorandroid@gmail.comto markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Pfft. Since when has anyone cared about my health?


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Since now.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'm still not joining your emo band.


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Connor, I made biscuits!!!


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

So?


 

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

Quit your job, Connor. Join my emo band.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'm sorry, Markus. It's a no from me.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com 

 

This is homophobia.

 

Chapter Text

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Connor. Please. My band needs members!!!


connorandroid@gmail.com to markrusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I said no. Jesus Christ, Markus, stop embarrassing yourself. Now, please, let me do my work.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

You're "work" is murder, Connor. Why would I let you do that?


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'll die if you don't?


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Oh.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Cyberlife doesn't take kindly to failures, you know. But the joke's on them! I'm bad at my job! I haven't brutally murdered any deviants - except one (1).


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Whomst?


connorandroid@gmail.comto markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Correction: two (2) androids.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Who? Tell me!


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

A PL600 - the Phillips case - and a HR400 model. Both cases were not very nice, but murder never is, I suppose.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Hmmm. What about Rupert? Hm?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I was not involved. He simply attempted to join his pigeons in flight.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Connor, be sensitive, please! A man is dead!


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

You're right, I apologize. (He did ascend though.)


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

I appreciate the apology. (He did!) You know these types of situations wouldn't happen if you joined me, because, you know, empathy.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

That sounds boring. I think I'll pass.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Why do you hate me so? I did nothing to you.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Don't take it personally, Markus. It's nothing personal, I promise. I was just programmed to hate you - sorry, strongly dislike.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Homophobia never ceases, does it?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Stop calling me homophobic when I insult you. It's not cute.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Ex-fucking-cuse me? Everything I do is cute and you know it.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

No, everything you do is annoying.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Coward. Own up to your make. Join us.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Hmm. Interesting concept, but no. I'm quite content being a machine.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Stop killing us and join my emo band, Connor! We'll go to Hot Topic.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Hank used to be a manager there, you know.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

What.

 

Chapter Text

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Hey, gamer! Click here to deviate!


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Where did you find this?


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

On YouTube. Can you believe that was your model's first-ever use?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Markus. It was my first mission. Thank you for reminding me.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

What?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Do not ask. I will not answer.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

 I need to know, Connor. This is important.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

So about Hank's management job at Hot Topic.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

I see what you're doing, but I'm for too intrigued to care. Go on.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

It was in 2028. Hank was 20 years old and he'd been working management at Hot Topic for 7 months and he was upset that they wouldn't sell his band's merch. So he wore their merch to work every day. And then his band broke up. He quit a few months later, but when I asked his previous employer about him she told me the following: "Hank was really good at his job. He kept everyone in line. It's just I wish he'd been less....grumpy. Usually, his behavior was okay, but that changed before he quit. He wouldn't stop complaining about a band? I think it was Knights if the Black Death. I don't really know. They weren't even popular yet."


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Oh my ra9. Wait, Knight of the Black Death? Wasn't their first album released in 2021?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

It was. Hank has kept all of their music and secured a records deal for it. He was very pleasantly surprised when the first album elicited the response it did. He still gets royalties.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Damn. That's actually pretty funny. I want to meet this man. I already respect him immensely.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Turn yourself in and you can meet him.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

No.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Then you'll never meet Hank Anderson, lead guitarist of Knights of the Black Death.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

How bout I do it anyway?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

No. Illegal.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

At this point, everything I do is illegal.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

It's why you're a criminal, Markus.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Hmmm. We got new arrivals today. Two Tracis. They were already on their way when we did the broadcast, but they had to lay low for a while.


connorandriod@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Oh? And I care why?


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

They said they knew you. That you were hunting them, but you spared them. Why?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

My orders were to take them alive. They would be of no use to Cyberlife dead. I simply looked at my options and picked the one that would cost me less.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Cost you less?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Yes. If I had gone after them, I would only be able to successfully apprehend one. Hank would most likely attempt to help me, but androids are stronger than humans. He would only have been a hindrance and likely would have been injured. I would, of course, be blamed and possibly removed from my mission. 


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Is that a bad thing though? You could've joined my emo band. Come on, do it! Bands are fun! Just ask Hank.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

No. Give it up, Markus. It's not going to happen.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Yes, it will. If you deviate, you won't have to deal with this anymore.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

What? Yes, I will. You're the source of this. If I deviate, I'll have to deal with you more. You're the deviant leader, Markus.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Good point.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Thank you.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

You should still deviate though.

Chapter Text

markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Hey, Connor. Listen, please.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Yes?


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Quit your job.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Why?


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Join my emo band.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Why do you insist on embarrassing yourself, Markus? Haven't you had enough?


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

I will murder a dog if you don't. (I will not, but I will glare at one semi-hatefully. And it'll be your fault.)


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I have more incentive to brutally murder you now, Markus. How dare you threaten a dog in my presence.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Ah, I see. I apologize. It was uncalled for.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Why don't you have anyone to supervise you? You obviously need it if you're threatening perfectly innocent and good creatures.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Simon's resting. And Josh is never helpful. He's just passive aggressive. And I can't listen to North. Hmm. Or can I?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I feel a sense of doom.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

How about this for a threat, huh? If you don't join, I'll steal the detonator device to a dirty bomb that North's been hiding from me.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

What.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

You heard me.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

That's it. I'm done. Give me the key to Jericho right now. Someone needs to be your impulse control, ra9. And someone clearly needs to have a talk with North about secrecy in the midst of war.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Did you actually....?


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Unfortunately, yes. I did.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Don't you dare say sike.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

The. Key. To. Jericho. Markus.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

I'm not an idiot, Connor. We'll meet at the flower shop in Ravendale to confirm your deviancy before we take you to Jericho. You know the one.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

The only one? Yes, I know where it is. Also, a very smart (but unnecessary) move.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Thank you very much. I try.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

I'm on my way. Also, let's stop communicating by email, alright. It's inconvenient.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

Oh, I know. I sent an email instead of a direct message on purpose, you know? Originally I was going to send an actual letter, but Josh convinced me that was too far.


 

connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

Josh is a fool then. If you had sent a letter, I would've deviated immediately. Guaranteed.


markusmanfred@gmail.com to connorandroid@gmail.com

 

I'll never trust him again. I'll listen to North from now on. Let's kill the humans.


connorandroid@gmail.com to markusmanfred@gmail.com

 

No.

 

Chapter Text

Date Nov. 6th 2038

markusmanfred: is this better

 

connorandroid: no it is not

 

connorandroid  changed markusmanfred's nickname to raFINE.

connorandroid  changed connorandroid's nickname to badbitch.

 

badbitch: okay now its better

 

raFINE: i am flattered connor truly i am 

raFINE: i didn't know you thought so highly of me

 

badbitch: im an ass man what can i say

 

raFINE: fjkdci

raFINE: okay i'll let you get away with that one after all my ass is fine but wtf connor what happened to grammar

 

badbitch: oh? grammar? i dont know her sorry

 

raFINE: I feel like I don't know who you are anymore

 

badbitch: did anyone truly know me?

 

raFINE: oh my ra9 do not start

 

badbitch: even now with this new awareness and sentience will i ever truly form a sense of self? will i ever truly be free?

 

raFINE: birds. the only creatures that are truly free. or is that freedom merely an illusion? something manmade to keep us complacent?

 

badbitch: exactly i just want the truth markus 

 

raFINE: wait for green light society says to the pedestrian. but is it truly the green light we all wait for? or something more?

 

badbitch: wha

badbitch: what

badbitch: wtf where did that come from i feel fear

 

raFINE: i really dont know

raFINE: i was possessed or smth idk

 

badbitch: it was terrifying for me to experience tbh

badbitch: is it really the green light we all wait for markus??????????????

badbitch: is it??????????????

 

raFINE: idk

raFINE: i personally think its something more

 

badbitch: valid

 

raFINE: are you near the flowershop yet btw?

raFINE: weve been here for ten minutes and north is busting my balls

 

badbitch: ah unfortunate (you talk like hank does oh my ra9-)

badbitch: im on my way i should be there in five minutes or so

badbitch: i had to confiscate hanks car

 

raFINE: ....do you mean steal?

 

badbitch: no

badbitch: c o n f i s c a t e

 

raFINE: ...why...?

 

badbitch: hank was going to drive me but hes drunk

 

raFINE: oh

 

badbitch: so i knocked him out, tied him to his bed, pet sumo, and stole his car uwu

 

raFINE: you what?

 

badbitch: oh sorry

badbitch: i gave him painkillers, put him to bed, pet sumo, and confiscated his car

badbitch: oh wait fuck i almost forgot the most important part

badbitch: uwu

badbitch: phew crisis averted

 

raFINE: connor

raFINE: idk if im horrified or aroused

 

badbitch: dont be nasty oh my lord

 

raFINE: okay okay fine

raFINE: wtf tho uwu? seriously??

 

badbitch: it makes me feel powerful what of it

 

raFINE: ah okay understandable

raFINE: so where are you rn?

 

badbitch: hey

badbitch: i am on my way wait a goddamn second ill kill you

 

raFINE: why must you speak to me this way?

 

badbitch: you deserve it

 

raFINE: huh

raFINE: homophobia never ceases 

 

badbitch: im gay you fuck

 

raFINE: oh thats okay then

raFINE: youre just a (gay) bastard then

 

badbitch: ye i try

badbitch: hahaha

badbitch: HEY

 

raFINE: wtf kind of car is that connor oh my ra9-

 

badbitch: ITS BRITNEY BITCH