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Lincoln: the Loudest

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It seemed one moment, the family of thirteen (two parents and their eleven (!) children) were driving down a bumpy road, with a barely working air conditioner. There was the typical sibling bickering and demands for the best seat in Vanzilla (somehow, Lily ended up winning that spat), but that was all fairly normal.

Then Vanzilla ended up breaking down in the middle of the road. Again, fairly normal for the Loud family (Vanzilla wasn't exactly top of the line when it came to the standards of vehicles this day and age). It was also pretty par for the course to have all the kids hop out and push. 

"Little more, kids!" Father Lynn Senior cried out from the driver's seat. "Little more, that's it, little more..."

"How much of a little more?!" Pageant princess Lola cried out. "I'm getting sand in my hair, and there's a great big pebble in my shoe!" Her comedian sister Luan couldn't resist making one of her trademark cracks in regards to hearing that:

"That's too bad, Lola!" She quipped with a grin. "Personally, I think this rocks!" Luan then chuckled, before asking "Get it?"

Everyone else groaned in exasperation. 

Once Vanzilla was safely off the road (for a given value of safe, anyway), everyone proceeded to take a scope of the area, in the hopes of finding any locals that would lend a helping hand. As they did, brainy sister Lisa made one of her unnecessarily verbose and confusing comments.

"According to the nearest indicator sign," she told her family, "we are currently on the outskirts of the city known as 'Olathe'. Therefore, I determine that we are near the vicinity of the Kansas and Missouri border." She pushed up her large glasses before she kept going.

"In other words, we're quite a long ways away from our home in Royal Woods." Judging by the collective groan from the rest of the family, this wasn't exactly the news they wanted to hear.

That was about the last thing that only son Lincoln could remember vividly. Everything afterwards was hard to really comprehend. After more time on the lookout, there were indeed some locals that came by. They ended up being anything but helpful, though. Almost immediately after they showed up, everything went to hell.

It had started when one of the men pulled out a gun and blew the top of Lynn Senior's head off. Then came Lincoln's mother and sisters all being forcibly carried away. No matter how hard the girls all fought (star athlete Lynn Junior put up a heck of a fight especially), all of them were grabbed and thrown into the back of a gigantic truck. As the truck drove off, Lincoln could hear their screams of terror. 

Now he was left there, with only his father's headless corpse and the now demolished Vanzilla for company. 

This road trip was off to a wonderful start.