Chapter 1: Part 1
It was roughly two months after the whole Armageddon ordeal and Aziraphale was enjoying a late afternoon tea when Crowley had shown up on his doorstep, the Bently parked not far behind him, a look of nervousness on his face.
“Crowley?” he asked, turning his head to the side slightly.
“Angel, are you free?” Crowley asked, glancing inside the bookshop to see if anyone was inside.
“Yes, I’m closed for the day. Why?” Aziraphale inquired, giving Crowley a look of confusion.
“S-So, would you mind joining me for dinner at the Ritz?” Crowley asked, leaning against the door frame of Aziraphale’s bookshop. “Not as friends though,” he quickly added.
“Crowley, what do you mean?” Aziraphale asked, giving him a quizzical look.
“Damn it, angel, I’m tryin’ to ask ya’ on a date, why do ya’ have to make it so damn hard?” Crowley grumbled, carding his hand through his hair nervously.
“I well… um…” Aziraphale stuttered, unsure of how to respond to such questions, a lump of anxiety and fear balling up in his stomach.
“Fine, alright, just forget it then,” Crowley grumbled, turning to go so that Aziraphale couldn’t see the hurt on his face.
“Crowley! Wait!” Aziraphale shouted suddenly, a hand reaching out and grabbing Crowley’s shoulder before he could set his foot down off the step of Aziraphale’s book shop.
Crowley flinched didn’t dare turn around and show Aziraphale his face, instead, he merely paused, waiting for Aziraphale to speak his mind.
“You startled me, Crowley, of course, I’d love to join you for dinner,” Aziraphale said, the words slipping out a little too easily, his hand shifting down and taking Crowley’s own, holding it gently, “That is if you still would like too.”
Crowley finally turned to Aziraphale, blinking behind his glasses. “Really?” he asked.
“Well yes, I suppose we can do whatever we want now that our respective offices aren't paying us much attention,” Aziraphale reasoned.
Before Aziraphale could change his mind, Crowley squeezed Aziraphale’s hand and stepped down the step with Aziraphale in tow, miracling the doors closed and locked behind them.
Crowley opened the door for Aziraphale before walking over to his side of the car and sitting down in the driver's seat.
Looking over at Aziraphale, Crowley opened his mouth and spoke, “Ready?”
Aziraphale nodded, putting a hand on the dashboard in preparation for the drive to start. Surprisingly, Crowley drove slower than he normally did, you could ask him if he did it to savour the moments with Aziraphale, but he would merely call you a liar and brush off the question like a moulted feather.
They reached the Ritz and had managed to get a table for two in their usual spot, perhaps thanks to an angel’s miracle. Crowley, not being one to eat that much, watched as Aziraphale ordered himself some food, and decided on just getting something to drink and stealing off of Azirapahle’s plate.
When the food sat down in front of them, it was obvious that the food that was ordered was meant for two, as if Aziraphale had anticipated Crowley’s plan and planned ahead himself. Crowley however, made no comment and went about sneaking bits of food when Aziraphale was distracted, and the two ate in relative silence.
After the meal was finished, and they had managed to get through two bottles of wine together, Crowley spoke up.
“Aziraphale, wouldyoumaybeliketocomebacktomyplace?” Crowley rushed through the question far too quickly.
Luckily though, Aziraphale had caught every word like it had been spoken with great length.
“Are you sure?” Aziraphale merely asked the demon.
“Yeah,” Crowley assured him, nodding as well to add to the affirmation.
“Well then, consider your invitation accepted,” Aziraphale smiled, standing up from the table.
The two walked from the table to Crowley’s Bently, a hand lightly resting on the small of Aziraphale’s back. Aziraphale made no move to brush off the hand, and in fact, missed it when he sat back down in the Bently. Thankfully, it was replaced with an arm running across his back and a hand resting on his shoulder as Crowley drove- well rather raced -from the Ritz towards his apartment.
When Crowley parked the car in his usual parking space near his apartment, both men stepped outside the car in a small hurry, Aziraphale anxious to see the inside of Crowley’s apartment, and Crowley anxious to see, well, something else.
Aziraphale stepped into Crowley’s apartment, taking in the minimalistic decor.
“I just realized, I’ve never actually been inside your apartment,” Aziraphale merely commented, closing the door behind himself.
“Well, it ain’t much,” Crowley commented, standing next to Aziraphale.
“No, not… Crowley are those plants?!” the angel asked in excitement, rushing forwards and gushing over how green they were and how gorgeous they looked. “So you’re the famous gardener of London!”
“Yeah, well, spent a bit too much time on ‘em,” Crowley grunted, leaning against the door frame of his ‘greenhouse’.
“They’re magnificent,” Aziraphale complimented him, turning his attention back to Crowley.
“Not as magnificent as you,” Crowley said before he was able to catch himself, and quickly clasped a hand over his mouth once the words left.
Aziraphale blushed, stepping forwards, and taking Crowley’s hand off of his mouth, and was a fraction of a second away from kissing him before he pulled away.
“Wine! We need wine!” Aziraphale announced, quickly walking off in search of Crowley’s wine collection.
“Great idea,” Crowley agreed, following after Aziraphale and getting out two wine-glasses.
Once they had the wine bottle and the glasses, the looked at each other, and you could cut the sexual and nervous tension in the air with a butter knife and it was only building.
“Do you have a couch?” Aziraphale asked.
“Erm, no, never had a use for it,” Crowley admitted, trying to think where they could go, only to have a terribly filthy thought pop into his head. Crowley brushed it away as quickly as it appeared.
“How about your bed then?” Aziraphale asked, fully aware of what he was implying.
Crowley gulped before answering with an ‘okay’ and lead Aziraphale through his apartment to his bedroom.
The room was also as minimalistic as the other rooms of Crowley’s apartment except that the bed, which was what looked to be a California King, had dark red sheets underneath the black comforter.
“It’s nice in here,” Aziraphale commented, flouncing across the room and gracefully plopping himself down in the middle of the bed, giving Crowley a look.
Crowley himself wasted no time sitting down across from him, and handing Aziraphale a glass of wine.
Once each of them had downed a full cup, they began to converse.
“So… is there someone you’re interested in?” Crowley asked, laying across the bed.
“Yeah, he’s quite the number, but I believe he’s a bit too oblivious,” Aziraphale hinted, taking a sip of his new, full wine-glass, “What about you?”
“Mm, ya’. He’s definitely a snatch if only he’d open his eyes,” Crowley teased, downing his wine like a shot, and setting the glass on the floor before grabbing the bottle and draining it half empty.
“Do I know this person?” both of them asked at the same time, their eyes widening from asking the question at the same time.
“You first,” Aziraphale said quickly, turning away bashfully.
“No, you firssst. I inssisst,” Crowley slurred, leaning forwards and snapping the bottle of wine out of existence.
Aziraphale rolled his eyes and snapped his own wine glass away after he drank the remains of it. Once the glass was away, he took both hands and tugged Crowley’s collar forwards, crashing his lips into the demon’s.
Crowley didn’t protest, instead, he pulled Aziraphale onto his lap, and rested both hands on Azirphales ample backside. As the kiss deepened, and dirtied, with both parties' lips parting, and tongues exploring each other’s mouths with centuries of pinning and bottled up passion, Crowley got a little adventurous. His hands moved from Aziraphales arse to the front buttons of his waistcoat, and undoing the buttons, discarding it behind them.
Aziraphale copied this action, removing Crowley’s jacket and working on the buttons of his shirt, slipping it down off his shoulders, exposing Crowley’s slim figure and prominent ‘V’ as Crowley removed Aziraphale's dress-shirt as well, discarding it behind them with the rest of the close. They broke from the kiss to admire each other’s bodies unhindered. Soft rolls of slight fat made Crowley blush and enticed him to lean down and mark up the pale skin.
Aziraphale's breath hitched as Crowley’s lips pressed against his skin and sucked hard, leaving a large, dark bruise on his neck, as long, nimble fingers glided down Aziraphale’s stomach towards his pants. As Aziraphale felt the button of his pants come undone, he became immediately alarmed and pulled back.
“Crowley please,” Aziraphale pleaded, trying to get him to stop for a moment.
Crowley immediately shot up and looked Aziraphale in the eyes, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just um… you might see something… different,” Aziraphale attempted to start explaining.
“Things like what exactly?” Crowley asked, looking Aziraphale in the eyes.
“Well, um… you see… I don’t have typical… parts, down there… it’s different…”
Crowley was lost, he blinked at Aziraphale, not quite getting what the angel was attempting to explain.
“What do you mean?” he asked bluntly, looking Aziraphale over.
“I have a, um, two sets of parts… for comfort and ahem, personal reasons,” Aziraphale attempted to explain, but Crowley didn’t catch on still.
“It’s better to show you,” Aziraphale huffed, starting to get off the bed, “Please don’t laugh, I’ll understand if you want me to leave afterwards though.” Aziraphale stumbled over his own words nervously.
Carefully, Aziraphale undid his fly and dropped his pants and boxers to reveal his slightly soft penis and balls. Everything looked normal to Crowley.
“I still don’t see what you mean,” Crowley commented.
Aziraphale sighed in frustration and lifted up his privates with a hand, showing... well, showing something unexpected.
“Oh! That’s what you mean! Why didn’t you just say so?” Crowley asked, turning his head slightly and hopping off the bed.
“Well… er… I didn’t think you’d understand,” Aziraphale stuttered, dropping his hand and reaching to pick up his pants again.
Crowley stopped him, cupping his jaw and lifting up his head.
“Stop that. I understand,” Crowley paused, looking Aziraphale over once more, “Is this how you feel comfortable?” Crowley said, and leaned forward.
“Yes,” Aziraphale admitted, a little to quickly than was expected.
Carefully, Crowley leaned forwards a tad bit more, and pressed a kiss to Aziraphale’s lips before the angel could protest.
Crowley placed both hands on Aziraphale’s arse once more, and lifted him up, setting the angel down on his back on the bed, the kiss breaking as Crowley sat back on his knees between Aziraphale’s thighs.
“Dear, what are you doing?” Aziraphale squeaked, covering his face with his hands, cracking his fingers apart to watch Crowley.
“Hush, I want to know exactly how to pleasure you properly,” Crowley mumbled, reaching downwards with his fingers.
“Oh well, I guess that’s okay,” Aziraphale mumbled.
Aziraphale shivered as long fingers ran down the length of his dick, and down across his vulva. When Crowley rubbed circles on one particular spot, Aziraphale let out a long, breathy moan. Crowley merely smirked, and ran another finger down, finding that Aziraphale was more than aroused, and pushed a singular finger inside of Aziraphale, earning another moan. Crowley added another, and then another until he had all his fingers, minus his thumb, in Aziraphale, each one had earned him another moan from the now flustered angel.
Crowley drew his fingers back, and wrapped them around Aziraphale’s dick, giving a slow pump before fully pulling back.
“May I ask about boundaries?” Crowley inquired, slightly startling Aziraphale with the question.
“Pardon?” Aziraphale blinked.
“Boundaries, what are you comfortable with? Like, what can I touch, what can I call you, if you enjoy anything particular, is there such thing as, too far?” Crowley asked.
Aziraphale picked up on something. There was heat behind this question, there was something Crowley wasn’t letting on, something Crowley needed to let on but couldn’t do it without prompting.
“Well, I don’t particularly want you in my, well um, arse. It’s uncomfortable,” Aziraphale said, “But there’s almost nothing that I’m not willing to try. What about you?”
“I like to… um, submit...” Crowley mumbled and immediately looked down in shame.
This news didn’t so even as much as ruffle Aziraphale’s feathers, he suspected as such. With a soft sigh, he reached forward and took Crowley’s hand in his own.
“I think we should talk about this before we do more,” Aziraphale stated, conjuring them up a blanket, and a pad of paper, as well as a pencil.
“Okay,” Crowley whispered, barely audible, wrapping himself up in the comforter as Aziraphale laid the blanket across both of their laps.
Noticing Crowley’s behaviour, Aziraphale attempted to comfort him. “Crowley dear, I have read up on this such thing as well as one can, it quiet intrigued me when I found it. I’ve known for a bit, you don’t really come across as someone who enjoys vanilla, or being a dom, even if you only show it to me.”
Crowley looked up at him, and leaned forward, embracing Aziraphale.
“Did you really know?” he asked quietly.
“After I read the first book, I had my suspicions on the subject,” Aziraphale established.
“I um, boundaries still though. There are things that need to be written down,” Crowley mumbled, sitting back up.
“That’s what the paper’s for,” Aziraphale agreed, picking up the pen. “Now, where shall we start?”
It took quite a while, and several drafts, and by the time they were done, morning light shown into the room. Many things were included, such as boundaries, a code of conduct (which covered things like behaviour together, how Aziraphale would go about ‘teaching’ Crowley, orgasm control, and punishments, they had agreed upon being much softer than most dynamics), a safe word (they went with the green, yellow, red method), and things they wanted to get out of the dynamic, such as pleasure, and control. They had also agreed upon three categories, ‘definitely’, ‘uncertain’, and ‘never’ of things they would do, and not do. The shortest column was never, the longest being uncertain. Aziraphale had the main focus on self-care due to the unfortunate fact that Crowley didn’t do it as much as he should be and he worried for him.
“Are you quite sure that’s all?” Aziraphale asked, looking at the very tired Crowley in front of him.
“Yeah,” Crowley mumbled, slumping against Aziraphale’s shoulder.
“Well then, we’ve wasted the whole night, it’s about time you get some rest,” Aziraphale stated, in a slightly authoritative voice.
“That’s the first command you’re doing?” Crowley yawned, raising an eyebrow at Aziraphale as he set the final draft they had settled upon on the nightstand.
“Yes. We agreed upon taking care of each other, you need sleep, therefore, my first order is to get rest. Disobey and pay,” Aziraphale said more sweetly than menacing but it got the point across to Crowley.
“Alright,” Crowley admitted defeat, and flopped down onto the bed, pulling Aziraphale down with him. “But can you sleep with me as well?”
Aziraphale paused and pressed his lips together in thought before answering. “Of course dear,” he finally hummed, laying down next to Crowley.
“Thank you,” Crowley mumbled, pulling Aziraphale close to his chest, wrapping the two of them in blankets.
“You’re welcome,” Aziraphale hummed, kissing Crowley’s forehead softly.
A small amount of blush spread on Crowley’s face, and Aziraphale watched and listened as his breathing started to slow and he was fast asleep next to him. Aziraphale himself didn’t sleep much, so he mostly sat awake and ran his fingers through Crowley’s hair.
However, even he needed sleep occasionally and he found himself drifting slowly into slumber.
Smut warning ahead... but why else would you be here?
When Aziraphale awoke, Crowley was gone. He sat up, rubbing his head as he scanned the apartment for any trace of the demon but found none.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale called out, stepping out of bed and miracaling himself up a robe so he wasn’t as exposed.
When there was no response, Aziraphale began exploring the apartment, looking for Crowley and letting out a call for the other man every now and again.
“Oh bother, I do believe I’ve scared him off,” Aziraphale sighed, carding his hand through his hair as he turned the doorknob to the bathroom.
When Aziraphale stepped into the bathroom, he was definitely not expecting what he found. On the floor, curled up next to the toilet and the tub was Crowley, curled into a ball and hyperventilating.
“Oh dear,” Aziraphale breathed, heading immediately over Crowley’s side, “Breathe Crowley, breathe.”
Crowley however, was terrible at taking directions in the first place, but at this particular moment, he was scared. Too scared to register anything but Aziraphale’s voice telling him to breathe.
Aziraphale reached forwards and gingerly drew Crowley into his arms, pulling the panicking demon close to his chest and calmly stroking his hand through his hair.
“Hush now Crowley, you’re alright,” Aziraphale murmured, attempting to get Crowley to calm down enough to tell him what’s wrong.
It took a while, but eventually, Crowley’s breathing settled into a steady rhythm, and he calmed down enough to talk.
“Aziraphale, I…” he started, the words getting caught in his throat and coming out mangled.
“Can you stand?” Aziraphale asked, Crowley, giving him a shaking nod and letting Aziraphale pull him to his feet.
Aziraphale assisted Crowley in going back to the bedroom, helping him to get back on the bed.
“There, now, why were you in the bathroom?” Aziraphale asked, giving Crowley a soft, worried smile.
“Too much… I woke up and you were there, and I remembered what happened last night and I got scared and started to panic. Didn’t want ya’ to see so I went to the bathroom,” Crowley explained slowly as if he was choosing his words carefully not to offend the angel.
“Crowley,” Aziraphale started, reaching forwards and taking Crowley’s shaking hand, “next time wake me, I don’t like to see you suffer.”
“Okay,” Crowley mumbled, looking down.
“I think there’s a bit more we should add to the agreement though,” Aziraphale stated, grabbing the pad of paper, and the pen from last night.
“Like what?” Crowley asked, looking at Aziraphale nervously.
“I think you let your thoughts get to you too much. You need someone else to take the reigns and give you a distraction from your mind instead of letting you dwell in your thoughts,” Aziraphale explained, giving Crowley a look of anticipation.
“Sure why not, it’s worth a shot,” Crowley muttered, picking at the hem of his boxers nervously.
“Is there anything you’d like to add?” Aziraphale asked, looking at Crowley kindly.
“Aftercare, we need to do aftercare,” he mumbled, pulling a loose string from the hem of his boxers.
“Alright then,” Aziraphale hummed, adding the two new points into the document.
They went over the document once more to make sure that they had put across what they needed, and spent to the better part of the morning making sure Crowley didn’t have another panic attack.
It had been two days since they had made the document and started their very odd relationship. They had gone about a daily routine of getting up around seven, eating breakfast, and going to Aziraphale’s book shop for the better part of the day before retiring back to Crowley’s apartment.
On the third day, however, Aziraphale had awoken to Crowley’s rapid breathing and Crowley curled into a ball on the bed.
“Oh dear,” Aziraphale mumbled, pulling Crowley in close. He brought his wings onto the same plane of existence they were on and opened them wide, wrapping him and Crowley in a dome of feathers, and protection. He ran his hand through Crowley’s hair and murmured comforting words to calm down Crowley.
When Crowley finally calmed down and was able to make a sentence properly, he spoke. “Your wings, you brought them out?”
“I did, there wasn’t much else I could do to calm you down,” Aziraphale explained as Crowley studied his wings with adoration. “Is there something you want to ask dear?”
“Can I preen them?” The words stumbled from Crowley’s lips before he could catch them.
Aziraphale gave a soft chuckle before answering. “If you’d like too.”
Crowley made a happy noise that caused Aziraphale’s face to flush, and he turned around on the bed -careful to not hit Crowley- so that he was sitting on the side of the bed, wings open.
Gingerly, Crowley made his way over to where Aziraphale was sitting and sat behind him. Aziraphale wasn’t nearly prepared for the light touch on his wings as Crowley placed his hand on the base where his feathers met his skin, and a small moan dribbled from his lips, causing Aziraphale’s face to go five shades of tomato red.
Crowley gave a soft laugh and continued his hands exploring Aziraphale’s wings. The soft feather’s underneath his fingertips drew him closer, and welcomed him. As promised, Crowley preened Aziraphale’s feathers, reaching all the places Aziraphale couldn’t on his own, as he did so, Crowley tucked a feather behind his ear, hoping Aziraphale wouldn’t notice.
Aziraphale sat still until Crowley sat back and declared himself done. Turning around, he noticed a small white feather tucked behind Crowley’s ear.
“That was nice of you to do for me,” Aziraphale hummed, stretching out his wings before tucking them away. “Would you allow me to do the same?”
“Alright,” Crowley said, sitting on the edge of the bed, and summoning his wings.
Aziraphale watched as a pair of black wings stretched out in front of him, gorgeously well-groomed, shiny and black, and when he reached out and touched them, they were softer than he thought.
“Dear, your feathers are so soft,” Aziraphale complimented, nuzzling his nose in between where the two wings meet on Crowley’s back.
“Azi, what are you-?” Crowley’s sentence was cut off by a loud moan leaving his lips as Aziraphale bit down on his skin and sucked, leaving a dark purple hickey.
“What was that for?!” Crowley yelped, turning around to meet Aziraphale’s gaze.
And then Aziraphale noticed Crowley’s eyes. The pupils had gone wide and circular, taking up the majority of his eyes, and there was a soft dusting of blush across his face. Aziraphale had managed to take down some of Crowley’s walls that guarded the demon’s heart.
“Can we try a session?” Aziraphale asked quickly, knowing he wouldn’t get Crowley this vulnerable for a while.
Crowley looked at him for a brief moment and then agreed.
Within seconds, Crowley was on his back (wings put away) and watching as Aziraphale miracled up a pair of handcuffs, with velvet on the cuff part so it was softer on Crowley’s wrists. Aziraphale sat on Crowley’s hips, putting just enough pressure on his crotch to be noticeable, but not enough to hurt. Reaching forwards, Aziraphale brought Crowley’s wrists upwards and crossed them over each other once before cuffing them to the headboard of the bed.
“Colour?” Aziraphale asked, looking down at his lover.
“Green, you?” Crowley replied with a soft voice.
Aziraphale smiled before replying, “Green.”
Aziraphale leaned down, and pressed a heated kiss to Crowley’s lips, rolling his hips slightly to put friction against Crowley’s crotch, and running his fingers through Crowley’s hair. Just as Crowley was starting to get explorative with the kiss, Aziraphale broke the kiss, moving his lips down to Crowley’s jaw, biting and sucking on the skin as he went.
Aziraphale could feel Crowley’s dick hardening underneath of him, and he lifted his hips slightly, taking more pressure off of Crowley’s crotch, making the other man whine.
Crowley let out a slightly breathless moan at the sensation as Aziraphale moved down his to his neck, leaving small hickeys and bruises as he did so, and continued down Crowley’s clavicle. He left a large, purply pink hickey on the skin against Crowley's bone. Moving down lower as Crowley squirmed and moaned underneath him, rutting his hips up against Aziraphale’s.
With a small chuckle, Aziraphale placed a hand over Crowley’s crotch.
“Buck your hips again, and you’re getting a punishment,” Aziraphale stated sternly.
Looking Aziraphale in the eyes, he replied, “Okay.”
“‘Okay’ what?” Aziraphale asked, pressing his hand down harder.
“Okay Master,” Crowley groaned as the pressure on his groin increased.
“Good pet,” Aziraphale purred, lifting his hand off of Crowley’s crotch and moving to sit between his legs.
Crowley whined as Aziraphale’s hand left his crotch, and Aziraphale’s waist didn’t replace it. He continued to whine as Aziraphale’s mouth dropped to his chest, and Aziraphale painted a heart of hickey’s with his lips on Crowley’s pec, terribly close to Crowley’s nipple.
“Colour?” Aziraphale asked, looking up at Crowley.
“Green,” Crowley groaned, trying so hard to keep his hips down on the bed.
“Okay good,” Aziraphale mumbled.
Aziraphale then opened his mouth, and licked across Crowley’s nipple, pinching the other one with his free hand. This action caused Crowley to call his name out into the infinite silence of the apartment that had been now filled by Crowley’s moans and gasps. Aziraphale sucked and played with Crowley’s nipple’s while the man underneath him, and the suddenly, Crowley’s hips bucked upwards.
Aziraphale sat up with a ‘tut-tut’.
“Fuck,” Crowley mumbled, as Aziraphale gazed down at him.
Aziraphale first noted a few things, Crowley’s eyes were wide and his pupils had dilated, his mouth was hanging open, and the snake tongue was hanging out, and Crowley’s usually smug face carried an expression of euphoria, with bright red cheeks.
“Dear pet, did you disobey me just now?” Aziraphale asked, a calm and collected tone in his voice.
“No…” Crowley lied, looking away from Aziraphale with his eyes.
“Don’t lie to me,” Aziraphale said softly, grabbing Crowley’s jaw.
“Fine, I did,” Crowley grumbled.
“I guess I’ll have to teach you how to have more control of your body,” Aziraphale tutted, reaching down and tugging off Crowley’s boxers, discarding them behind him.
Crowley watched as Aziraphale miracled an odd-shaped toy.
“Y-yellow!” Crowley yelped in surprise.
Aziraphale stopped, shifting looking down at Crowley. “What’s the matter dear?” he asked, his voice strained with worry.
“What, what is that?” Crowley asked nervously, staring at the the toy.
“Oh! Here, this part,” Aziraphale pointed to the part shaped like an odd dildo, “goes in here,” a finger pressed a finger to Crowley’s arsehole, “and these,” Aziraphale pointed to the two circular holes on the front of the toy, “go around your cock and balls.”
Crowley blinked, taking in the information. “Okay, Green,” he nodded, sucking on his bottom lip.
“Okay,” Aziraphale nodded, getting into a comfortable position. “Dear, pull your legs up slightly.”
Crowley hummed, bending his knees so they were level with Aziraphale’s shoulders. Aziraphale hummed, leaning forwards and giving Crowley a kiss, before straightening up.
“Okay breath for me Crowley,” Aziraphale instructed as he pressed a lubed finger against Crowley’s ‘hole’.
Crowley took a small breathe in, and let it go as Aziraphale pushed a finger into him. A small jolt ran through his spine as he adjusted to the invasion before Aziraphale pushed yet another finger into his arse. Crowley thought he could handle this without making noise until Aziraphale pushed his two fingers apart, and slipped in a third, making a small noise slip from Crowley’s lips.
When Aziraphale had four fingers in him and had deemed Crowley prepped enough (frankly he wanted to do more prep but Crowley was growing impatient, Aziraphale could tell). Carefully, he lined up the toy with Crowley and pressed it inside. A long, loud moan escaped Crowley’s lips and filled Aziraphale’s ears.
Aziraphale hummed as he looked up at Crowley, who’s head was all the way back, and was staring up at the ceiling. Smiling, Aziraphale tugged Crowley’s balls and dick through the two holes, and pushed the toy in all the way, earning another moan from Crowley’s lips as it nudged against his prostate.
“I’m going to turn it on now,” Aziraphale warned Crowley, picking up the remote with one hand.
A small murmur came from Crowley, but nothing more. When Aziraphale turned on the toy to the lowest setting, Crowley started mewling and ground back on the toy. Aziraphale then caught on that he’d lost his lover to sub-space, and truly nothing he said would get through to him.
He turned up the setting on the toy, watching as Crowley squirmed on the bed in front of him. Aziraphale bit his lip and sat back, enjoying the sight of Crowley squirming and making all sorts of lewd noises on the bed in front of him.
Crowley started moaning harder, and small word fragments that resembled Aziraphale’s voice started slipping out and before Aziraphale could catch on, there was cum all over Crowley’s stomach.
“Oh no!” Aziraphale panicked, shutting off the toy, and shifting over to where Crowley’s head was. “Crowley, dear,” Azirpahel murmered, unlocking the handcuffs at the top of the bed, easing Crowley’s arms down, “Crowley, focus on my voice, come on dear.”
Aziraphale repeated himself, his voice getting louder and louder, but not enough to count as a shout, until eventually Crowley groaned, and sat up, rubbing his wrists.
It took him all of five seconds to come fully out of sub-space and start panicking.
“Aziraphale,” he cried, his voice quivering as he collapsed in on himself.
“Oh dear!” Aziraphale was quick to catch Crowley and holding him in his arms, miracling the mess he had made away, and a soft hand reaching down to Crowley’s arse. “Deep breathes for me dear,” he murmured, sliding the toy out and poofing it out of existence.
“What was that? I couldn’t speak!” Crowley sobbed, startling Aziraphale greatly.
Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley, stroking his hair, and holding him close.
“Ssh, that was sub-space, love, I thought you knew,” Aziraphale explained, attempting to calm Crowley down and remembering his earlier comment about aftercare.
“No, I didn’t know,” Crowley informed Aziraphale with a shaking voice.
“It’s okay. Next time it happens, just know I have you. I’m sorry you got scared,” Aziraphale murmured, trying to think about the best next action.
“Okay,” Crowley whispered, clinging onto Aziraphale tightly.
“I’m going to pick you up now,” Aziraphale told Crowley, after a brief period of silence.
Crowley made a noise of acknowledgement and held onto Aziraphale tighter as the angel rose from his feet and walked from the bedroom to the bathroom, setting Crowley down on the toilet.
Crowley watched Aziraphale closley as he turned the tap on the tub, and miracled himself some bubble bath, pouring it into the tub. The smell of lavender filled Crowley’s senses as Aziraphale placed the closed bottle behind him on the sink.
Once the tub had filled up, Aziraphale lifted Crowley up in his arms and set him down inside the tub. Warm water surrounded Crowley on all sides, and he could feel the tense muscles in his arms relaxing.
Aziraphale stepped in behind him, pulling Crowley onto his lap. The demon immediately stretched out onto Aziraphale’s stomach, Aziraphale’s half-hard cock pressing against his thigh.
“Do you feel better, dear?” Aziraphale asked, grabbing himself some shampoo from the bottle and rubbing it into Crowley’s sweaty hair.
“Mhm,” Crowley mumbled, staring up into Aziraphale’s eyes. His pupils had shrunk, but only slightly.
“Good,” Aziraphale smiled, leaning down and kissing Crowley softly.
Once Aziraphale had rinsed Crowley’s hair off, Crowley grabbed some shampoo as well, and had washed the angel’s hair clean, taking the time to meticulously run his fingers through the soft locks.
They each took turns scrubbing the other’s back and cleaning off until the bubbles in the tub were nearly gone and the water was colder than before.
Once they were all clean, Aziraphale helped Crowley out of the tub and back to the bed (once dry), instructing him to lay down on his back. Crowley gave him an odd look before complying and lay down on the bed, he closed his eyes and waited, until they immediatly shot open once more as cold ointment was rubbed onto his skin.
“JESUS FUCK!” Crowley yelped, sitting upwards and nearly knocking Aziraphale off balance.
“Crowley, dear, relax, it’s just ointment,” Aziraphale explained calmly, showing Crowley the jar of mint smelling ointment.
“It’s bloody cold,” Crowley grumbled, flopping back down on the bed.
As Aziraphale went about working the ointment onto the bite marks and bruises on Crowley’s skin, Crowley couldn’t help but flinch each time new ointment was applied, the cold cream making the snake inside him coil together.
When Aziraphale had finished, Crowley found himself miraculously in a loose black shirt and boxers.
“There, all done,” Aziraphale announced, with a pleased smile on his face.
“Leave it to you to scare me shitless with that cold-ass ointment. Warn me next time,” Crowley grumbled, sitting up and pulling Aziraphale into a hug.
Crowley’s hands started to wander during the embrace and had managed to tilt Aziraphale’s chin upwards as he leaned down, locking their lips together. When Aziraphale leaned into the kiss, Crowley found himself on his back with the stout man on top of him, passion passing through the kiss and calling to ‘certain parts’.
“Azira, stop,” Crowley grumbled through kisses.
Aziraphale pulled back, staying on top of him. “Why?” he asked with a furrowed brow.
“Because I want to do this,” Crowley smirked, and successfully flipped the pair of them so that he was on top.
“Oh,” Aziraphale blushed. “Crowley, are you sure?” They hadn’t discussed this.
“Well yeah, there’s no rule that says I can’t top if the moods right,” Crowley explained rather awkwardly.
“Az, do you not want me too?” Crowley asked, ready to get up if Aziraphale didn’t feel comfortable with this.
“No! I didn’t mean it like that, I just… well… what are you planning to do?” Aziraphale questioned him, with a look that was a mix of scared, intrigued, and firey.
“You, ahem, demonstrated that you enjoy having both parts, so I was going to use this one.” Crowley pressed a slim finger to the entrance of Aziraphale’s female parts through his pants.
“Oh! Sure, I never really…” Aziraphale stuttered.
“Good,” Crowley growled, making short work of Aziraphale’s pants by pulling them off his round hips and tossing them behind the pair. Crowley had to laugh after this though. The sneaky angel wasn’t wearing any undergarments!
“A little exposed, are we?”
Aziraphale went red, his hands shooting to cover himself from embarrassment.
“Oh, there’s no need for that,” Crowley smiled, his boxers miraculously disappearing from hugging his thighs.
Carefully, he lifted Aziraphale’s hands off of his crotch and placed them at his sides, taking his legs instead and placing them on his shoulders.
A small moan left Aziraphale’s lips when Crowley slipped a finger inside of his heat, he had to bite back another went a second finger joined the first. Crowley gave him a smirk and spoke a few words of encouragement that fell on deaf ears as Aziraphale was to distracted to hear them.
After a few more fingers, Crowley deemed Aziraphale properly stretched out and pulled his fingers out gracefully, a small, needy whimper leaving Aziraphale’s lips.
“Oh hush now, it’ll be back soon enough,” Crowley hushed, squirting a few drops of lube onto his fingers and slicking up his cock.
Biting his lip was all Aziraphale could do from moaning so loud the neighbours would hear as Crowley’s cock slipped inside him, the head resting inside him before the demon started to slowly pump his hips back and forth, slowly pushing more of his cock inside Aziraphale until he was resting fully inside the angel.
“Damn Az, you feel really good,” Crowley slurred, reaching forwards, and grabbing Aziraphale’s hand, lacing their fingers together.
“Feels good, don’t stop,” Aziraphale mumbled sloppily, squeezing Crowley’s hand.
“Don’t plan too,” Crowley replied, resuming his previous movements, and slowly pumping his hips back and forth.
It didn’t take long for Crowley and Aziraphale to reach their limits. Crowley had been mid-thrust when Aziraphale let out a shaking moan without warning and created a sticky mess across their stomachs, and the muscles around Crowley squeezed and Crowley joined Aziraphale in bliss.
Only when Crowley pulled out and flopped down next to Aziraphale and pulled him close did it dawn on Crowley what he just did.
“Aziraphale, please tell me I didn’t just do what I did,” he grumbled, running his hand through his hair and sitting up.
Aziraphale sat up as well, giving Crowley a confused look. “What do you mean?”
“I didn’t use a condom,” Crowley whispered, waiting for the look of betrayal to show up on Aziraphale’s face.
Instead, Aziraphale had a gentle, unwavering smile on his face. “Dear, it was one time. There’s no hard done.”
“But there’s still a chance,” Crowley glanced down at Aziraphale’s stomach.
“Oh hush, that’s ridculous,” Aziraphale waved his hand, “It’ll be fine.”
Some parts of Crowley really didn’t trust Aziraphale
Chapter 3: Slight Trigger Warning Ahead
I do not take comfort in writing this chapter, it was very hard to do, and so most of it is skipped through, for my sake and yours...
The next couple of days it stayed as tickety-boo as it had previously, well, minus the panic attacks, thankfully for Crowley and Aziraphale’s sake, those had been less frequent. Aziraphale had even brought a few books from his shop to Crowley’s place. Oh and the sex, the sex was heavenly, so many positions, ‘part’ combinations, and senses that Aziraphale feared the neighbours could hear them every time.
One night, Crowley had even gone over to the book shop and passed out on the couch while Aziraphale worked.
When Aziraphale found him, he tut-tutted, and picked up the sleeping demon in his arms, carrying him upstairs bridal style. Gently, he laid Crowley down in the old-fashioned bed and changed himself and his lover out of their everyday clothes and into nightwear with a snap of his fingers.
Carefully to not disturb Crowley, Aziraphale lifted the sheets behind him and snuggled up behind Crowley, wrapping his arms around the skinnier man and pressing a light kiss to the back of his head.
“Goodnight dear,” Aziraphale mumbled before closing his eyes with a soft smile on his face.
Aziraphale swore that Crowley snuggled closer to him, but he could never say for certain.
After Aziraphale had gotten thoroughly frustrated with the fact that he had to go from the apartment, to the shop, and back, most days, he began to look for a house big enough for the two of them, and all their books, and plants.
It had taken him quite a while to find them a suitable house that wasn’t too terribly far from London but also wasn’t too small, and had a garage for the Bently.
However, he ended up finding a house fit for them, and their crazy antics. It came with a greenhouse, a large library, and two bedrooms, the main one, and another they could use as a spare room, it was also close to the beach and had a lovely backyard in case Crowley wanted some outdoor plants.
Aziraphale had made up his mind to buy this house, and after talking with the seller, all he had to do was pitch the idea to Crowley. This was in hindsight, easier said than done. Crowley loved London, and this house was in Worthing, which was a roughly two-hour drive from London (however, it’s one hour with Crowley’s driving).
Taking a deep breath as Aziraphale stepped into Crowley’s apartment. He had decided walked home instead of having Crowley pick him up because the weather today was absolutely perfect.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale called, hanging his jacket by the door.
When there wasn’t a response, Aziraphale stepped further inside the apartment. He had barely set his foot down inside the main-room when he found Crowley. The lanky demon on the ground, clutching his eyes, blood pooling on the floor around him.
“CROWLEY!!” Aziraphale exclaimed with a pained shriek, rushing immediately to his demon’s side.
Two Hours Earlier…
Crowley had been busy minding his own business in the apartment (mostly ‘talking’ to his plants) when someone stepped inside his apartment.
Assuming Aziraphale had come home early, he called out for him.
Aziraphale however, wasn’t the one to step into the room, instead in stepped a very mad Hastur stepped, a crowbar in one hand and the nastiest look on his face.
“You’re going to wish you had died in that tub,” Hastur growled as he walked up to Crowley.
“Hastur, let’s talk about this,” Crowley replied in a calm tone, backing up and eyeing the crowbar warningly.
“Oh? Like how you killed my most dependable friend?” Hastur asked a snarl curling onto his face.
“I didn’t kill him, he did that to himself,” Crowley argued, feeling the desk press into the back of his legs.
“Face it, Crowley, you killed him. And now,” Hastur paused, smiling a smile that sent chills down Crowley’s spine, “I’m here to kill you.”
“But you can’t, I’m immune to Holy Water,” Crowley argued.
“Then I’ll make you wish you weren’t,” Hastur stated flatly, the smile brightening on his face as he raised the crowbar and hit it with gusto against Crowley’s stomach.
“Damn this mortal vessel,” Crowley muttered, clutching his stomach in pain.
While Crowley was distracted Hastur stepped forward and pressed his fingers Crowley’s eyes through the glasses, shattering the glasses and digging shards of glass from them into Crowley’s eyes by pressing his thumbs harder and twisting them. Once Crowley was howling from the pain, Hastur let go of Crowley’s eyes and slammed the crowbar against Crowley’s knees, breaking them and making him topple over and crumple in a ball on the floor. Hastur took swing after swing at Crowley, crushing his organs, and shattering his knees as blood pooled from Crowley’s eyes on the floor. There was a deafening blow to Crowley’s head and the whole world went silent. Crowley couldn’t tell if he was asleep or awake, surrounded in darkness and silence. After what felt like hours of pain and torture, Hastur departed, leaving Crowley on his floor.
One Hour Later…
Crowley had been on the floor for what felt like days before Aziraphale had found him.
He could feel Aziraphale holding him, but if he said anything, Crowley wouldn’t know. He felt wings wrap around him and ran his fingers through the soft feathers, taking comfort in the one thing he knew true.
Aziraphale held Crowley in his arms, trying to form a plan and getting blood and tears all over his attire. When he had formed a plan, he snapped his fingers, sending them to Azirapahel’s home, the apartment above the book shop.
Soft sheets pressed against Crowley’s skin as tears and blood streamed from his face and other places, letting him know he was in Aziraphale’s bed.
Aziraphale gathered everything he needed, several towels, plaster, braces, bandages, and the like. They couldn’t take Crowley to a doctor, it would alert both Heaven and Hell, especially since Aziraphale took him there, and Crowley had snake eyes, and several things about him that would get him placed in scientific research studies. So Aziraphale had to do his best at helping Crowley.
Aziraphale mumbled some words of comfort to Crowley before beginning.
He did his best to miracle away the blood, but he couldn’t do much for the broken bones unless he knew exactly what was broken and he didn’t. He could take the pain away though, and so he did.
With a snap of his fingers, Crowley was down to his boxers, his bloody clothes in the washer down the hall. Gently, he picked up a towel and made it wet with warm water. He carefully removed Crowley’s hands from his face, taking in a short breath at the sight, but holding back from letting on how bad it was.
“Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale breathed softly, rubbing Crowley’s hands softly with his thumbs.
Crowley let out a pained whimper as Aziraphale softly cleaned the blood off of his face and removed the broken frames, setting them on the bed beside him.
“I’m going to remove the glass now,” Aziraphale told him before blowing softly and making the glass shards turn to dust and disappear.
There wasn’t a response, which worried Aziraphale greatly.
After a long pause, Aziraphale spoke. “Can you see?”
A pause again, and Aziraphale’s worry grew.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked, waiting for a response. “Crowley, squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”
When Crowley didn’t squeeze his hand, Aziraphale blew gently on Crowley’s ears, removing the damage.
Crowley was thrown back into a world of sound, he could hear Aziraphale ask him if he could hear him.
“Y-yes,” Crowley whispered, grabbing onto Aziraphale’s jacket.
“Crowley, oh thank go-, sa-, thank somebody!” Aziraphale exclaimed, pressing a chaste kiss to Crowley’s forehead. “Can you see anything?”
Crowley opened his eyes, and Aziraphale watched as Crowley’s pupils searched the room.
“No…” Crowley admitted softly, a pained look on his face.
“Oh dear, I’m sure it’ll come back,” Aziraphale said worriedly, rubbing Crowley’s head before laying him back down. “I’m afraid I still have more to patch up though.”
Crowley gave him his best understanding look and made a noise before laying back down slowly.
Aziraphale got to work on Crowley’s knees, ignoring the large, multi-coloured bruises on Crowley’s stomach briefly. He set each knee with a miracle and wrapped them in plaster after placing a knee brace so that they didn’t move (Azirpahale was far from a doctor, but he was doing his best). Thankfully, the rest of his legs weren’t damaged and it let Aziraphale direct all his attention to the bruises on Crowley’s stomach.
Unlike bones, organs were easy to heal, annoying, he knew. Aziraphale placed a hand gingerly on Crowley’s stomach, healing any internal bleeding or organ damage that was there. Once finished, he produced the same cold ointment they used for aftercare and began to spread it across Crowley’s stomach, making the demon hiss from the cold and the pain.
“I know, I know Crowley,” Aziraphale repeated to comfort him, carding his hand through Crowley’s hair with his spare hand.
Once all the ointment was spread across any and all bruises that Aziraphale could find, he turned his attention back to Crowley’s eyes.
“Can you see?” he asked a twinge of sadness in his voice on having to ask again about the demon’s eyesight.
Crowley paused, opening and closing his eyes. “N-no,” he admitted.
“Crowley, dear, I’m going to have to put some bandages on them then,” Aziraphale admitted, squeezing Crowley’s hand.
“Okay…” Crowley whispered softly, using his hands to move his head onto Aziraphale’s lap for comfort.
Being extra careful, Aziraphale took some gauze and placed it over Crowley’s eyes, sealing it there with three layers of bandages. It put some pressure on Crowley’s eyes and made the demon flinch under the Angle’s touch.
“It’s okay, I’m done,” Aziraphale mumbled, shifting Crowley so that he was laying down next to him before stretching out and pulling the demon close, running his fingers through the red hair.
“I can’t see,” Crowley whispered as if he didn’t believe it himself.
“I know Crowley. Eyes and bones are some of the things that take the longest to heal, even with miracles.” Aziraphale comforted him, running his fingers through Crowley’s hair.
“I can’t believe he did this,” Crowley mumbled into Aziraphale’s chest.
“Who?” Aziraphale asked softly, his hand pausing in Crowley’s hair.
“Hastur,” Crowley hissed. “It’s not safe here, they know our exact locations. How long will it be before Gabriel comes after you?”
“I didn’t kill anyone Crowley. But, you’re right, it isn’t safe here,” Aziraphale agreed, directing the conversation towards the topic of moving.
“We need to move angel,” Crowley admitted, sighing a little.
“I might’ve been meaning to talk to you about that today,” Aziraphale admitted.
“What do you mean?” Crowley asked, his hand wandering up to cup Aziraphale’s jaw. He may be blind but it doesn’t mean he didn’t remember every little detail about his love.
“I found a place in Worthing that I was going to show you when I got home. I have already talked to the owner and was going to give her an answer tomorrow,” Aziraphale explained, his hand resting ideally on Crowley’s jaw as well.
There was a pause in the conversation before it started back up again.
“Well, can you describe it for me?” Crowley asked, moving his thumb up and down against Aziraphale’s skin.
“Well, she gave me a tour of the house with a video. So, you park your car, and there’s a nice deck where we can put a swinging bench and watch the view if we wanted, when you step inside it’s a large sitting room with bookshelves and an open-concept that has the kitchen right there, with an island and a lovely view, and, oh! There’s also a fireplace in the sitting room! If you go down the hallway there are two bedrooms, the first with soundproofed walls and with a lovely view that could be our bedroom, and another we could use as a spare room, there’s also a washroom down the hall, with a large bathtub we can soak in together. Upstairs, there’s a loft that was accessible from the hallway of the master bedroom and another washroom. Let’s see, what else…”
“Oh, I haven’t told you the best parts! There’s a library down the hall with the bedrooms that’s big enough to house all my books and anymore I’d need. And, the kitchen has a door next to the pantry that leads to a greenhouse for your plants! It also comes with a lovely backyard for plants that leads off onto a beach where you can go right up to the ocean,” Aziraphale described, and even though Crowley couldn’t see it, he knew the angel had the brightest smile on his face.
And truth be told, he was smiling too. “It sounds lovely, love,” Crowley whispered without even thinking.
“You called me love,” Aziraphale commented, a soft blush hinted to in his voice.
“Yeah? Not many people would have fixed me up like you did,” Crowley gave a half-baked reason to the new pet name.
“Well, alright then. Do you truly like the house?” Aziraphale asked.
“Well yeah, it sounds the perfect place to settle down in. And you’re sure it’s not too soon for you?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
It took them all of three days to pack up every book in the store, and miracle everything from Crowley and Aziraphale’s respective homes, as well as choosing what to give away or throw out, and safely make sure all the plants got to the new home (they got a moving van).
When they were going through the houses, Crowley was sat on a couch, chair, or bed, and Aziraphale would talk to him, asking him about this and that, and describing things for him. It hurt both of them that Crowley couldn’t really help, but he helped best he could and that’s what counted.
On the final day, Crowley and Aziraphale got into the car, the last of the boxes of books and clothes pilled into the Bentley.
“Ready?” Aziraphale asked, resting a hand on Crowley’s leg.
“Yeah,” Crowley sighed, giving a smile in Aziraphale’s general direction. His knees had healed slightly, but it would take roughly another week and a half form them to fully heal. However, his eyes were another story.
They had both agreed that Aziraphale would drive them to the house in the Bently since Crowley couldn’t see.
With the confidence of both the angel and demon, they pulled out of the parking space, giving a final wave to the book-shop. Aziraphale had bought the shop a decade or two and fully owned it now, and there were a few things he left behind in case they made the trip back to London any time. Crowley’s apartment, on the other hand, had been sold. They needed no ties to the place that held those memories for Crowley.
Crowley and Aziraphale had arrived in Worthing after two and a half hours (Aziraphale drove slower than Crowley). They had exchanged idle chat on what Crowley was going to grow and how Aziraphale was going to organize his books.
Deep down though, Crowley still missed his sight and wished that he could see how happy Azirphale was right now. He missed that smile, the soft blond locks messed up in the morning and the way he always poured himself over a good book, and especially the way he looked during and after sex.
When the car pulled into the drive of their new house, Azirphale let out a small gasp. The house was perfect, it was a small, quaint little thing, that was surrounded by trees and other assorted plants.
“Oh Crowley, you’d love this,” Aziraphale whispered, running a hand over Crowley’s as he parked the Bently in the garage to the side of the house.
Snapping his fingers, Aziraphale sent the boxes inside the house to their respective rooms and focused on getting Crowley inside. He opened his side of the Bentley and stepped out, walking all the way around and opening the door to Crowley’s side, carefully sliding an arm under Crowley’s legs and another behind his head.
“Angel, what are you doing?” Crowley asked, putting an arm around Aziraphale’s neck.
“I wanted to give you the effect of walking into the house with me,” Aziraphale explained, and as he began walking, Crowley understood his words.
The gentle steps of Aziraphale’s feet bounced him slightly as if he was walking the path himself. When Aziraphale opened the door, he spoke a soft ‘after you,’ before stepping inside as if he was letting Crowley inside.
“Where would you like to sit dear?” Aziraphale asked, waiting at the door for a response.
“How about the bedroom? It’s rather late,” Crowley said, nuzzling his nose against Aziraphale’s neck.
“Alright dear,” Aziraphale chirped happily, walking down the hall to their bedroom.
Aziraphale pushed open the french doors and took in the room. The bed had four posts on it and had Crowley’s favourite red comforter on top of it. Their clothes were neatly put away in the closet off to the side, and the view of the backroom was wonderful. He set Crowley down in the middle of the bed and created them a tray of biscuits, sandwiches, and some tea.
Aziraphale settled himself down next to Crowley, and picked up a sandwich, offering it to Crowley, who took it gingerly.
“You put my comforter on the bed,” Crowley whispered, running his hands all over the blanket below him after finish his sandwich.
They had taken the bandages off of Crowley’s eyes today, and he had them open. The sight of them smiling at Azirphale hurt. His eyes were duller than they usually were, and the pupils were small slits like they had been frozen from fear.
Aziraphale desperately wished for Crowley’s eyes to shine brightly once again.
“It’s starting to become my favourite, and it mixes nicely with the rest of the sheets,” Aziraphale told him, blowing gently on his cup of tea.
“Thank you,” Crowley said in a hushed voice, leaning his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder.
“Of course dear,” Aziraphale replied, carding his hand through Crowley’s hair ideally.
They ate their tea and snacks in comfortable silence, Aziraphale trying hard to stay happy and bright every time he looked at Crowley's eyes. Once they had finished, the tray and dishes miraculously disappeared from the bed, and Aziraphale settled with his back against the pillows and Crowley in his arms.
“I wish my legs could bend,” Crowley muttered, breaking the silence of the room.
“You shouldn’t rush their healing Crowley. You risk making them worse,” Aziraphale fretted, holding Crowley’s hand gently.
“I know, I know. But when my legs heal I can get around, and help with unpacking, and we can make love.” Crowley wiggled his eyebrows at Aziraphale, making the angel flush bright red.
“Crowley!” Aziraphale squeaked, accidentally squeezing Crowley’s hand.
“Oh admit it, angel, you miss feeling my dick in your arse,” Crowley teased, poking Aziraphale’s rear testingly.
“You are cruel, you know that?” Aziraphale huffed, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to Crowley’s lips.
“Yeah, but admit it, you like it,” Crowley teased, sticking out his tongue and flicking it a bit.
“Maybe just a little bit, but it doesn't mean you should say it out loud,” Aziraphale huffed, shaking his head.
“I just like how it makes you sound,” Crowley admitted, motioning for Aziraphale to lean down and kissing him softly on the cheek.
“Well alright then. Now get some sleep, your bones won’t heal themselves without rest, and it’s getting late,” Aziraphale instructed, moving to get up and let Crowley sleep.
Until he felt a hand on his jacket.
“Can you stay?” Crowley asked, his voice softer than before.
“Oh, alright,” Aziraphale mumbled, snapping his fingers and changing both of them into pyjamas.
“Thank you,” Crowley whispered, snuggling close to Aziraphale and resting his head on his chest.
“Of course dear,” Aziraphale whispered back, staring up at the ceiling, and rubbing circles into Crowley’s back absentmindedly.
Smut warning ahead, but that's why you're here, so I guess, extreme smut warning ahead ;3 and some UwU's.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
When Crowley got up that morning, Aziraphale wasn’t at his side. He opened his eyes to look around and sighed. Admitting defeat to no one in particular, he called out Aziraphale’s name, hoping to someone that his angel was in the house.
“Yes, dear?” Aziraphale answered, popping his head back into the bedroom.
“There you are,” Crowley breathed out in a sigh of relief, “Where were you?”
“Oh, I was busying myself,” Aziraphale mumbled in reply, “How’d you sleep?” he asked in an effort to change the subject.
“Eh, about as well as I can I guess,” Crowley shrugged, his eyes directed in the general direction of Aziraphale, not really sure where to look.
“Well that’s good,” Aziraphale said sweetly.
“Do you think my legs are healed yet?” Crowley inquired once more.
“Crowley, we’ve been over this, your legs won’t heal for another week,” Aziraphale sighed, resting a soft hand on Crowley’s leg.
“What about my eyes?” Crowley whispered softly.
Aziraphale swallowed hard enough you could hear the click in his throat. “I don’t know Crowley,” he admitted.
“Oh…” Crowley whimpered sadly, dropping his head.
“Hey, cheer up,” Aziraphale said softly, lifting Crowley’s jaw upwards, “your legs will be healed soon and you can move around then.”
“Yeah, I know. I just wanna see you though,” Crowley admitted, resting his hand on Aziraphale’s.
Aziraphale let out a sigh. “How about we get you a change of scenery?”
“How?” Crowley raised his eyebrow at him.
“You’ll see,” Aziraphale informed him, standing up and picking Crowley up like he was a feather
Crowley let Aziraphale carry him through the house. When Aziraphale sat him down, he felt the plush couch that Aziraphale had in the book shop underneath him.
“Well, we can do two things at once. You can talk with me and I can put away some of my books,” Aziraphale finally revealed in a triumphant sounding voice.
“I don’t want to intrude on your private book time,” Crowley mumbled sadly.
“Oh dear… You’re not intruding, I’m inviting you to stay with me,” Aziraphale told him with a soft voice and pressing a chaste kiss to Crowley’s cheek.
“Okay,” Crowley murmured, leaning back on the couch and listening as Aziraphale rustled around him, muttering to himself as he picked up books and filed them away.
After a long pause of silence where neither knew what to say, accompanied by a shorter pause, Crowley finally found words tumbling from his lips without restraint.
“Describe it to me,” he demanded in the soft tone of someone who finally admitted to a guilty pleasure.
“Describe what, dear?” Aziraphale asked, picking up yet another book and going to check it off.
“The books you’re putting away, what are they about? What're your favourite parts? Who’s your favourite character?” Crowley asked rather politely in a very un-Crowley like fashion.
Aziraphale wanted to inquire why Crowley asked this, but he decided not to press the subject further, instead, he complied.
“Well, I have Alice in Wonderland’s first edition in my hand currently. It’s not as old as some of my books and a very untraditional book for me to own, but I like it none the less. It’s about a girl who falls asleep under a tree and manages to find herself going down a rabbit hole and…”
Aziraphale's little appetizers of each of his books went on for quite a while. Days actually. Since neither demon, nor angel needs sleep, they spent quite a while in the library, Crowley just listening to Aziraphale’s voice while his legs healed and Aziraphale sorted, and re-sorted his books away on the shelves. Neither of them really kept track of how many days had passed by, but if they had to guess it was roughly nine or ten days, given the fact that Aziraphale’s book collection was rather large.
“Well, that’s the last one,” Aziraphale announced happily, snapping closed the book in his hands and guiding it onto the shelf.
“You have a lot of books angel,” Crowley concluded, getting up from the couch and waltzing over to where Aziraphale was standing.
When Crowley put his arms around Aziraphale’s waist, Aziraphale jumped, spinning around.
“You’re walking!” he blurted out, both happy and startled.
“Oh, it appears I am,” Crowley mumbled, moving his legs as the plaster cracked around his knees.
“How long were we at this?” Aziraphale asked, a confused look creeping onto his face.
“Clearly more than a week,” Crowley mused the same puzzled look on his face as Aziraphales.
“Well that much is obvious,” Aziraphale said with a click of his fingers, the plaster and braces disappearing from around Crowley’s knees. “Can you see?” Aziraphale asked gingerly.
“Kinda? I can’t see much but there are small shapes I can make out if I focus hard enough,” Crowley said, a hint of excitement in his voice.
“That’s great!” Azirpahel cheered, scooping Crowley up, and hugging him tightly.
“Yeah, it’s nice to see things, sorta,” Crowley said calmly.
There was a soft pause before Crowley broke it with his mouth.
“You know angel, you certainly have a lot of dirty books,” Crowley commented with a Crowley-like smirk on his face.
“Well, when you spend as much time on Earth as I do you find yourself with an interesting collection, to say the least,” Aziraphale defended himself, snapping his fingers and making the cardboard boxes that had held his books disappear from the floor, clearing up space.
Crowley hummed in response. “Sure angel… was there ever a scene you wanted to do?” Crowley purred, nipping at Aziraphale’s neck.
Aziraphale turned sharply, stepping them backwards and pressing Crowley up against the wall of the library, trapped between his body and the wall. “That depends on you.”
Crowley could hear the smirk in Aziraphale’s voice as his words purred out in an immoral whisp that certainly didn’t fit Aziraphale as a character. A small shudder rolled down his spine.
“What were you thinking?” Crowley asked, far too deep into this.
“Well it’s not really a scene, but I wanted to try something that has black lights, and film it,” Aziraphale told him, his confident persona slipping away to reveal the shy man underneath.
“Well, I always wanted to try getting fucked in a black room by someone in all black leather,” Crowley continued, “You’re going to have to take pictures though. I’ll wanna see later.” Crowley attempted his best wink.
“Really?!” Aziraphale exclaimed as if someone told him he could pick any candy he wanted in a candy shop.
“Yeah, also the filming part sounds really hot,” Crowley added, a little bit stirring inside him, “I wanna see that how you look from another angel, angle.”
At a loss for words, Aziraphale pulled Crolwy to his lips by his collar, making Crowley squeak in surprise before sinking into the kiss.
Sometime during the kiss, Aziraphale snapped his fingers and Crowley found himself on their bed, at least he thought so, the material underneath him was more slippery and soft than their comforter. Crowley couldn’t make anything out in the room.
Crowley moved to sit up but found himself unable to, being restrained by the wrists and ankles in a starfish position. “Angel?” he called out.
“Here!” came the reply, he was close by at least.
What Crowley couldn’t see was that he was laying on top of the bed, a black sheet with a large pair of wings printed around him that had many neon colours ranging from pink to green, all mixed perfectly. Crowley himself was dressed in plain black boxers with a large, neon yellow snake curling up his torso in paint. Had his eyes been able to see better than he could currently, he would’ve noticed that Aziraphale was dressed in a tight black leather jacket and pants, and he’d fiddled with his body and made it slimmer and more muscly than he usually had it.
“You look gorgeous love, I’m going to take some pictures,” Aziraphale told him, and Crowley heard snaps and there were bursts of bright light in his vision when the camera clicked, “Okay, now with the lights off,” Aziraphale mumbled, the lights clicking off and more pictures were taken, this time without the flash. “There, done.”
“Are you ready to do this finally?” Crowley asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes,” Aziraphale stated confidently, “Can you see the colours though?”
“I can see vague blobs of neon if that’s what you’re asking,” Crowley supplied, his eyes dragging slowly across the room.
“Okay, wonderful! I have a camera set up, and recording, you wanna start?” Aziraphale asked, waiting for consent.
“Yes, of course, angel, get over here,” Crowley gestured as best he could with his hands so that Aziraphale would venture towards him.
“Aren’t I supposed to be giving the orders?” Aziraphale inquired, stalking forwards to Crowley.
“Well yeah, but I wanted to give you some encouragement… also, angle?” Crowley’s voice squeaked at the end of his sentence.
“Hm?” Aziraphale hummed, sinking down onto the bed next to Crowley.
“Can we try, maybe, you inside me today?” Crowley asked timidly.
“Of course, why?” Aziraphale was slightly stunned at the question, but he was always open to trying something new with Crowley.
“I just... wanted to know how it would feel,” Crowley supplied, trying to keep it casual.
“Well, be prepared then,” Aziraphale laughed, leaning down and kissing his lover.
“Will do,” Crowley whispered breathlessly through kisses.
As Aziraphale moved from next to him on top of him, he finally noticed that Aziraphale changed his body, large muscled thighs were next to his chest, and the same hands he was used to were on his chest, only slightly stronger.
When Aziraphale leaned down and started to nip and kiss at Crowley’s neck, a shiver ran down Crowley’s spine as he got lower and lower down on Crowley’s body, soft nips and large hickeys on Crowley’s chest made him squirm. Aziraphale’s hands suddenly got cold against Crowley’s hot skin when he miracled neon body paint onto them, that he read also doubled as lube (he made sure to be rather specific with the fact that it was safe to be lube).
Their play tonight wasn’t necessarily hardcore or something as such, it was softer with different unorthodox items and play. Crowley squirmed as the angel touched him all over, rubbing his sensitive nipples, leaving bites and hickeys ranging in size and shape -as well as shade- all over his skin, and painting him all sorts of different magnificent colours that lit up his eyes with odd shapes and designs.
By the time that Aziraphale’s hands made their way underneath Crowley’s boxers, his cock was straining and twitching, begging for attention. Aziraphale's hands slipped past the straining member and teased playfully at the tight, puckered hole below.
“Angel, please,” Crowley whined, trying to move his hips against Aziraphale’s fingers.
“Hush pet,” Aziraphale whispered softly, pressing a finger inside of Crowley, wiggling in slowly until it bottomed out.
He repeated this action with the next three of his fingers making Crowley turn into a begging mess underneath of him, squirming back and bucking his hips best he could with the restraints.
Aziraphale pulled his fingers out, giving Crowley an empty feeling and making him whine.
“What would you like, pet? Use your words,” Aziraphale purred, teasing Crowley with his lips against his inner thighs.
“Angel, please, fuck me,” Crowley managed to get out, a soft whimper leaving his lips for effect.
Within moments, Aziraphale’s fingers snapped and Crowley found himself restrained with his arse in the air and his chest pressed against the bed, arms folded underneath his head, and legs spread wide thanks to his legs tied to the bed.
“Angel, what are you-?”
Crowley’s words were cut short as a loud smack rang through the air as Aziraphale’s hand collided with his arse. Crowley’s vocal cords let out a loud, sultry moan from the contact.
“Angel, whatever you did, do it again,” Crowley told him, revelling in the sensation when Aziraphale repeated the action.
After a few smacks, and Crowley’s arse being pained with neon colours showing up lovely under the blacklight, Aziraphale unzipped his fly.
“Crowley, I’m going to enter you now,” Aziraphale told him, pressing the tip to Crowley’s twitching arse.
“O-okay,” Crowley mumbled, focusing on feeling it rather than not being able to see it.
Aziraphale as pushed inside him, Crowley gasped, Aziraphale granted didn’t have much length, and he bottomed out easily, but what he lacked in length, he made up in girth. Crowley found himself biting his lip and holding back a moan from leaving his lips to preserve his dignity.
Crowley waited patiently, letting his body adjust before nodding to let Aziraphale know he could move once more. Aziraphale went slow, his movements drawing out sultry moans from Crowley's lips, and he started to quicken his pace as Crowley’s hips moved back and forth to meet each of his thrusts.
Aziraphale’s hands dug into Crowley’s hips, holding him still-ish as he started going faster, praise and moans leaving his lips before his grip tightened with one hand and the other let go, swinging back and striking Crowley’s backside with a rhythm in time with his thrusts.
“Aziraphale… gonna… gonna cum,” Crowley moaned, clutching the sheets tightly.
“Chase it pet,” was all Aziraphale had to say to get Crowley over the edge and whining underneath him.
He gently stroked his fingers through his lover’s hair as his thrusts became more rapid and uneven, Aziraphale chasing his own orgasm rather than Crowley’s now but still hitting Crowley in all the right places.
Aziraphale finally found the cliff edge and skydived off the top, crashing down after Crowley. Aziraphale found it in himself to snap a few pictures before the restraints around Crowley disappeared, and they toppled down onto the soft, angel wing print blanket underneath them, the mess they had made, gone, and they were back in their regular clothes, except for the fact that Aziraphale was still in Crowley.
“That was…” Crowley started. “Fantastic,” Aziraphale finished.
“Let’s do that again, but first, I’m sleeping,” Crowley grumbled, closing his eyes and letting Aziraphale spoon him from behind.
“I might just join you, dear,” Aziraphale admitted, closing his own eyes and kissing the back of Crowley’s head.
Crowley was stretched out across the lawn, soaking up the sun’s rays while Aziraphale sat quietly on the lawnchair nearby, reading a book. They had decided to stay in today, much like every day, and that they’d go to the shop later in the week and let Aziraphale pick up a few packages that had arrived before they changed their addresses. Today, they were just going to enjoy the solitude, and maybe go for a walk on the beach later.
At some point, Crowley hoisted himself from where he laid and managed to carefully shuffle his way over to Aziraphale.
“Hello dear,” Aziraphale smiled as Crowley bent down and kissed his forehead.
“Azira, don’t feel so good,” Crowley mumbled, giving Aziraphale a look.
“Oh dear, come on, let’s get you in...side.”
The reason Aziraphale’s last word was cut in half was that Crowley had leaned over and spewed any food he had in his stomach out onto the lawn.
“Crowley!” Aziraphale shouted in shock, snapping his fingers to clean up the mess before turning his attention to Crowley. “What’s wrong?!”
“Don’t know… just don’t feel well,” Crowley grumbled, wiping off his mouth.
“Let’s get you inside,” Aziraphale told him, picking up Crowley and walking inside the house.
He walked down the hallway to the bedroom and set Crowley down gently in the middle of the bed, propped up by pillows, a garbage can next to the bed.
“There, I’m going to go make some tea,” Aziraphale told him, moving to leave the room. Aziraphale had found it much more satisfying to make his own tea than using frivolous miracles to do it for him, and he thought Crowley might want some space as well.
“Can you stay instead?” Crowley asked quietly from the bed.
“Oh, of course, dear,” Aziraphale said, turning back.
Tea could wait, Crowley could not.
Aziraphale settled himself on the opposite side he had placed the garbage can and Crowley practically melted onto him, curling up and resting his head on Aziraphale’s lap defeatedly.
Humming, Aziraphale reached for Crowley’s phone carefully and turned on some music for the two of them, letting it softly play in the background for them as he combed through Crowley’s hair (it had begun to grow out again and was just barely getting past his ears).
Since time didn’t quite matter to either entity, they didn’t really care how long they stayed there. Time had passed and they acknowledged it, yet it was surprisingly calming for both parties, to brush Crowley’s hair.
At some point, Crowley had sat up, his back to Aziraphale, when his phone started playing a song both of them recognized, From Eden by Hozier. Soon enough, Crowley began singing along, he must’ve become so calm and at peace by the song and just purely being in Aziraphale’s company that his wings came out of hiding, nearly knocking Aziraphale in the face.
“Crowley dear, your wings are out,” Aziraphale commented, not really protesting, instead, changing his position to get at Crowley’s wings to groom them.
“Are they?” Crowley asked, having no real way of telling if they were there or not, and instead reached back, feeling the soft feathers in between his fingers. “I guess they are,” he mused.
“Can I?” Aziraphale asked, his fingers ghosting over the black feathers.
“Go for it,” Crowley granted Aziraphale permission, shifting to sit comfortably.
“Thank you, love,” Aziraphale murmured, kissing the skin between Crowley’s wings, making Crowley shiver in a good way.
Aziraphale sat quietly, grooming the soft feathers of Crowley’s wings, letting loose ones fall away and straightening crooked ones. At several points during their time on the bed, Crowley leaned over and vomited into the garbage can next to the bed (it disappeared immediately afterwards).
One particular moment made Aziraphale frett over him and causing his own wings to come out to wrap around Crowley protectively.
“Your wings are soft angel,” Crowley commented, running his hands through Aziraphale’s feathers.
“I um… thank you,” Aziraphale whispered, kissing Crowley on the cheek the best he could.
Crowley sighed and leaned against Aziraphale’s wings, letting the soft feathers stroke his skin.
“Can we stay like this forever?” Crowley asked, catching Aziraphale off guard.
“If you would like, but I may need more books if we’re going to do this forever,” Aziraphale chuckled lightly, happy at the soft mood they had lulled themselves into.
“Really? Well maybe not forever, forever. But really?!” Crowley asked enthusiastically, turning around and letting Aziraphale see the bright smile across his face.
Even though Crowley couldn’t see very much, only really bright colours and objects, for now, he managed to find Aziraphale’s lips pretty well, connecting them in a soft kiss.
Hands went flying, wings wrapped around each other, and clothes were lost to the floor as the kiss heated and the two men created frivolous miracles to get closer to each other as fast as possible.
They were moments away from having Aziraphale nestled deeply inside Crowley when there was a loud cough from in front of the bed.
Aziraphale opened his wings slightly, showing just their heads (the bottoms were mostly open but all you could see was Aziraphale’s legs and the toes of Crowley’s feet if you weren’t looking close enough) and there before them, stood Gabriel.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” both angle and demon screeched at the same time.
“Oh God, give me strength,” Gabriel grumbled, rubbing his temples.
Okay, so the scene in this chapter may or may not be influenced by a Buzzfeed article which I'll link below... it's a combination of number 13, and 11, which you can easily guess...
This author's note is encase you were wondering how I get my inspiration for scenes...
1) from my own mind (it's pretty rotten up there)
2) from personal experiences... (don't ask)
3) articles and items I find, as seen above
4) other stories and works! Everyone has such creative ideas and I'll draw inspiration (not take the whole scene, that's plagiarizing)
5) Mood Music!! I find this the most helpful, it gives you the right space and the rest just follows
And that's about it! I encourage you strongly to write your own or even keep a record of what you wanna try.
Chapter 5: Even Demons have their demons
Okay so there is a bit, you know, just a smidge of angst in this chapter... you've been warned... so yeah, proceed with tissues if you're easily prone to crying I guess...
Also, this is so hard to do while Crowley is blind, if there's something I messed up, let me know, I keep forgetting, but we'll get there people!
Previously on Bound…
Aziraphale opened his wings slightly, showing just their heads (the bottoms were mostly open but all you could see was Aziraphale’s legs and the toes of Crowley’s feet if you weren’t looking close enough) and there before them, stood Gabriel.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” both angle and demon screeched at the same time.
“Oh God, give me strength,” Gabriel grumbled, rubbing his temples.
“Answer the question,” Crowley growled, brandishing his teeth at Gabriel.
“I am not here to harm you, you especially. And I’m certainly not here for,” he gestured broadly, “whatever this is,” he stated pointedly to Crowley, “I’m merely here to inform you. Bear in mind that I don’t want to do this, but she made told me to do this.”
“Get to the point,” Crowley growled again, glaring in Gabriel’s general direction, he didn’t know Crowley was blind, what did it hurt?
“Congratulations Crowley, the Almighty has deemed you worthy to carry fledglings for the angel Aziraphale,” Gabriel stated, straightening his tie around his neck and adverting his gaze from the (now) gawking, naked pair on the bed.
“He’s what now?!” “I’m what?!” Crowley and Aziraphale half shouted, half asked at the same time.
“Oh bother.. Look, apparently when you finally bonded your souls with physical intimacy, your two souls combined and created another. It just so happens that Crowley’s body took on the role of host to the child. It’s essentially like carrying a human child,” Gabriel informed the pair on the bed in front of him without dry heaving.
Crowley merely flopped onto Aziraphale’s chest with what sounded like a groan, Aziraphale’s wings wrapped around them. The two of them were clothed with a snap of Aziraphale’s fingers, except Crowley was now wearing black sweat-pants that had ‘ hotter than hell’ written up the pant leg.
“Why are you still here?” Aziraphale asked softly, rubbing circles on Crowley’s back.
Gabriel sighed, every fucking bone in his body despised that he had to say this. “I have to inform you that you two are now under Heaven and Hell’s protection thanks to both Satan and God gracing your child. No one can touch you. That said, Hastur is being sentenced as we speak,” this was the only thing he relished in, at least someone was getting punished because of this... this disgrace… “ and… if you need anything such as advice or help, you can call on God herself, especially if it comes to the fledgelings… as an added bonus, she has added books written on human children, and pregnancy as well as demonic and angelic additions to your library that you can read,” Gabriel informed them in the most mono-toned voice to hide the clear annoyance in his voice.
“Tell her thank you,” Aziraphale smiled, “Can you please go now though? I have to comfort my lover.”
“Finally,” Gabriel muttered as he disappeared from their bedroom.
Aziraphale’s attention went immediately to Crowley, who was curled up on Aziraphale’s chest, his wings away, and was clinging to Aziraphale like a drowning man to an inflated tube.
“Sssh, it’s okay Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered, running his hand through Crowley’s hair, wait, had it gotten longer? He took a better look and found that Crowley’s hair was now almost past his shoulder blades. Had Crowley done that?
When Crowley continued to sniffle and cry into Aziraphale’s sweater, Aziraphale brought out a hairbrush, running it down through Crowley’s hair in an attempt to comfort him.
“Dear, you have to let me know sometime,” Aziraphale told him, yet Crowley continued to cry on his chest.
After roughly a thousand strokes, Aziraphale huffed. He was in shock with the news as well, but when Aziraphale was in shock, he read and learned, not cry. Crowley rarely cried, he either drank or ran from it. But now he could do neither. Yet, Aziraphale still couldn’t wrap his head around exactly why Crowley was crying.
Kissing Crowley’s head, he stood up, carrying Crowley in his arms down the stairs and into the library. He snapped his fingers and created a pit in the floor in front of the lit fireplace filled with pillows and blankets, as well as the comforter and the angel wing blanket from their bed. Gently, he set Crowley down in the middle of the bed and picked up the books specifically on Angelic and Demonic pregnancies and fledglings (he’d read books on human’s already. You mostly read everything there is when you’ve been on Earth for six thousand years).
Crowley clung to his side as he slowly stopped crying and just listened to the sound of Aziraphale flipping pages as he powered through every book in the stack and reading facts and tidbits out to him as he did so.
“Listen to this,” Aziraphale started, finishing the first book, “apparently the hair of those carrying the fledglings will rapidly grow longer and more lush to distinguish those who have fledglings and those who do not.”
Crowley made a muffled noise on his chest and a soft sweater appeared from Aziraphale’s wardrobe onto his body.
Aziraphale hummed, returning to his books.
When he finished all the books in the stacks after hours, and it had turned into mid-day of the next day, he turned his attention to Crowley with all the information he needed in his head.
“Okay, here’s the deal. For pregnancy, it’s rather easy. You will have tendencies to nest, like creating large piles of blankets and pillows that have smells that comfort you, so we’ll keep the library with this pit, and have a similar one in the loft that has remained untouched above us. You can decorate the loft upstairs when you can see again,” Aziraphale started with the first idea, hoping Crowley would think it was alright.
Crowley made a soft noise he hadn’t heard before and Aziraphale swore he saw the demon’s smile return.
“Next, the spare room across from ours can be turned into a nursery. We’ll get some things when we go into town or London and decorate however you wish.”
This was the idea that Aziraphale thought would have less traction with Crowley, yet, he surprised him and gave a small nod of approval.
“But I have to ask, do you want this? Do you need help? Should we seek someone out to stop this for you?” Aziraphale asked, trying his best to look his lover in the eyes. Aziraphale knew what he wanted, even though this was pushed on him so soon, but he would be okay with anything Crowley wanted to do.
Crowley’s eyes went wide at Aziraphale, he glanced from Aziraphale to his stomach where his hands had been resting, and back to Aziraphale. Crowley then darted from the room, and before Aziraphale could follow after him, a door slammed in the house and Aziraphale was left alone in the library.
“Fuck,” Aziraphale swore.
Aziraphale was on his feet faster than he thought possible. He grabbed the blanket that Crowley had been clutching that fell on the floor as he ran, and carefully walked as fast as possible to the room Crowley hid in.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale asked, knocking on the door before trying the door handle.
It was Locked.
Aziraphale started to panic.
“Crowley please, open the door,” Aziraphale asked with a strained voice.
No response. There was only silence in the house.
“Crowley, dear, please, you have to open the door,” Aziraphale said, his voice getting more and more close to a cry.
When no response came, he got even closer.
“I’m not going to hurt you. Oh, Crowley please, open the door, I’m worried love,” Aziraphale pleaded, trying the door handle once more.
“Go away,” came from inside. It was so soft and so very quiet that Aziraphale nearly missed it.
“Crowley… I can’t go away, not while you’re inside here. I know you like my own mind, I know you're scared, I know you think I don’t want this… Please just let me in,” Aziraphale pleaded once more
“I’M GIVING YOU AN OUT AZIRAPHALE!! TAKE IT!!” Crowley shouted from inside, his voice echoing in Aziraphale’s mind over and over, the words stinging his soul like a million daggers.
Aziraphale chocked back a sob and slid down the door. “I’m not asking for an out Crowley.”
“You don’t want this, I know you Aziraphale,” Crowley whispered, and then Aziraphale realized it.
Crowley was crying. Not the graceful tears you cry when you’re hiding it, the dirty sobs that poured down your cheeks un-relentlessly when you’re grieving for something you lost. He could hear it in Crowley’s voice, and he could hear the soft sobs. As he set his hand down on the ground next to him, his fingers brushed accidentally against Crowley’s on the other side of the door.
“Crowley. My demon, my dearest, my love. I know what I want, and I want you, as well as everything that comes with it. I want to be in your life, not as a friend, but as your lover. I want to grow old together, and I most importantly want you to be happy. If having these fledglings makes you happy, then it makes me happy as well,” Aziraphale told him, looking up to the ceiling. He wanted the fledglings a little more than that, but he couldn’t say so until he was certain Crowley wanted them as well so he didn’t influence his decision. “I’ve known this for quite some time.”
There was a long pause between the two of them, and Aziraphale swore that Crowley moved his hand next to his.
“For how long?” he whispered, his voice shook like a leaf.
“Always. Ever since I laid my eyes on you in Eden,” Aziraphale assured him.
He heard Crowley moving inside until the door opened behind him. There stood Crowley, Aziraphale’s sweater wrapped around him, the bed’s comforter on his shoulders, and his face sticky and wet with tears and snot, his eyes puffy and red and his hair matted and knotted. To anyone else, Crowley would’ve looked awful, but to Aziraphale, he was the most beautiful person to ever live.
Aziraphale stood up and hugged Crowley tightly.
“Thank you,” Crowley whispered into Aziraphale’s chest.
“For what?” Aziraphale asked him.
“For staying,” Crowley clarified, his voice quiet.
“There’s no need to thank me, I’ll always stay with you, even in death,” Aziraphale assured him, attempting to card through his hair but getting his fingers tangled. “However, it looks like someone needs some aftercare,” Aziraphale stated, scooping up his still blind, snotty boyfriend and carrying him off towards the bathroom, leaving the blankets on the floor.
Crowley sank into the warm water, and Aziraphale carefully sank down behind him, pulling Crowley between his legs. When they were naked, the bump of Crowley’s stomach was barely noticeable, yet there it was.
Aziraphale caught Crowley staring at the bump and decided to draw his attention elsewhere.
“Here, wash your face dear,” Aziraphale cooed, handing Crowley a damp face cloth.
“Okay…” Crowley whispered, washing off his face.
“You know, I think you’d make a great mother, if you want,” Aziraphale whispered, kissing the side of Crowley’s neck.
“You really think so?” Crowley asked, hanging the used cloth on the side of the tub.
“If that’s what you want,” Aziraphale hummed, running water on Crowley’s hair.
“Yeah, I think I want this,” Crowley mumbled, leaning against the side of the tub slightly.
“Are you sure?” Aziraphale had to ask him, just to make sure, even though a little happiness bubbled in his voice.
“I’m sure,” Crowley told him, turning around to look at Aziraphale.
Aziraphale beamed, pulling him gently into a kiss. Crowley didn’t protest, he leaned into it, and when they were done, he rested his head in his arms on Aziraphale’s stomach, gazing up at him while Aziraphale washed his hair.
“I quite like your hair, it suits you long,” Aziraphale cooed, smiling as the mood lifted off of them.
“You like my hair every time I change it,” Crowley laughed, “Now turn around so I can wash yours.”
“I can’t help it if you’re always gorgeous.” Aziraphale chuckled when Crowley blushed at his comment, and turned around and letting Crowley wash his blond locks.
“I’m not gorgeous, you’re gorgeous,” Crowley murmured, rinsing the soap out of Aziraphale’s hair.
“Aw, thank you dear, but you're also gorgeous,” Aziraphale complimented him, turning back around when Crowley finished his hair so that they were face to face with each other.
“No, I’m not. I have this thing in my body,” Crowley mumbled, averting his gaze.
Aziraphale reached out and cupped Crowley’s jaw with his hands, gently drawing his gaze upwards.
“Crowley, dearest, you are gorgeous. No matter what you think or who tells you otherwise, you’ll always be gorgeous to me,” he told him confidentially, giving Crowley a reassuring smile.
Crowley seemed to brighten a little at the words and managed to crack a small smile.
“Really?” he asked softly.
Aziraphale pulled him close so that he was laying on top of him.
“Of course,” Aziraphale murmured, kissing the top of Crowley's head. “But let’s get out of this bath before we prune up,” Aziraphale chuckled.
Crowley gave a soft snort and allowed Aziraphale to help him up and wrap a towel around him as the water drained from the tub. Angels and demons don't’ really need to bathe, they could just miracle themselves clean, so Aziraphale did so, just to be sure.
Afterwards, he leads Crowley back to the bedroom, he let him ease down onto the bed.
“Are you hungry dear?” Aziraphale asked softly, not yet sitting down next to the demon.
“Sorta…” Crowley mumbled. He didn’t like admitting he was actually hungry, it wasn’t something he allowed himself to feel, but he felt comfortable enough at the moment to at least admit to Aziraphale he was, even if he wasn’t admitting it to himself.
“Well, what would you like?” Aziraphale asked, beaming at Crowley. A little part of him was glad that Crowley trusted him enough to let him know this.
“Um… cannelloni’s?” Crowley asked, looking up at Aziraphale hopefully.
What he saw was enough to put a smile on his face. He could faintly see blocks of colour, the angel’s eyes were sparkling and the brightest smile was upon his face and atop his head was a large halo of light that brightened the room.
“Do you think, we could make them together?” Aziraphale asked gingerly, rubbing the back
“Of course!” Crowley agreed quickly, standing up and letting Aziraphale hold his hand to guide him.
“Really?” Aziraphale’s voice was happy and bubbly and Crowley grinned.
“Yeah, why not,” Crowley said.
And that’s how Crowley found himself sitting at the island in the kitchen, watching the shapes of Aziraphale move around the kitchen while he cooked. Crowley wasn’t much help, but he did some taste testing and provided light conversation with Aziraphale, as well as listening for the beeps of the stove.
Somehow, his hand had found it’s way down to his stomach and was rubbing it, his mind off in space, wondering what they’d be like, how’d they look, you know, the usual things that would be on your mind… or at least that’s what Crowley thought would be the usual thoughts, he didn’t really know though.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale called, drawing him out of his own thoughts.
“Hm?” Crowley hummed, letting Aziraphale know he was listening.
“What’s on your mind love?” Aziraphale asked him, setting a plate of cannelloni's in front of him and taking a seat next to him.
“It’s nothin’, just thinking,” Crowley mumbled, picking up a whole cannelloni with his fork and shoving it into his mouth.
“Well it’s obviously not nothing, you were immersed in thought,” Aziraphale pointed out, cutting himself a more sensible piece before eating it as well, a soft moan of happiness that always snuck past Aziraphale’s lips when he tasted something really good slipped into the air.
Crowley coughed, swallowing his mouthful and clutching his chest.
“Give me some warning before you do that!” he exclaimed, face beat red.
“Crowley! Are you okay?” Aziraphale squeaked in concern, looking at his lover.
“Yeah, I’m good ‘Zira,” Crowley brushed off the question quickly.
Aziraphale huffed. “Seriously dear, what is on your mind?”
“Told you, it’s nothing,” Crowley muttered, eating more food to avoid Aziraphale’s pestering.
“If you say so. However, if there ever is something on your mind, you can let me know,” Aziraphale assured him, eating the resting of his pasta.
“Okay,” Crowley said through a mouthful of food.
One day he’d tell Aziraphale about his thoughts when his mind wandered, but for now, he’d keep them to himself.
Chapter 6: Angst warning
Okay so, this has some pretty odd stuff in it. It's shorter than most chapters, which I apologize for but I had to end it where I did because I couldn't write more for this chapter.
A little explanation for the in the past story, Crowley is called Raphael, and Crawley, yet the story refers to him as Crowley, this is because Crowley is telling it about himself to Aziraphale and he's talking about himself, so of course he's going to refer to himself with the correct name.
Read with caution.
Aziraphale had been watching Crowley pace back and forth in the loft for forty-five minutes now. He’d watched the demon carefully examine every nook and cranny, from the bookshelves built into the wall to the placement of a window with a seat, yet Crowley had yet to even so much as change the colour of the paint.
When the time was thirty minutes Aziraphale grabbed himself a chair from downstairs but that was the only piece of furniture that adorned the room.
With a sudden movement and a happy noise, Crowley’s fingers snapped. The aesthetic in the room changed to a wooden cabin, giving off a homey feel. Above Aziraphale, there was a large window that looked up at the sky and fairy lights hanging all around the room, behind him was a railing made of wood and wire that looked across the open concept of the house from above. With another snap of his fingers, a large bed/couch hybrid was in front of the window seat, the ledge just high enough so that the mattress of the hybrid was in line with the base, there were blankets and all sorts of things scattered across the bed that upon further inspection, Aziraphale realized was a nest.
In another snap, the corner that Aziraphale had been sitting in on his chair was transformed into a little nook with a loveseat couch and a round chair that dipped low towards the floor, a round coffee table made of medium toned wood sat in the middle atop a beige coloured rug.
Crowley then turned to Aziraphale with a content smile, making Aziraphale’s heart soar.
“Do you like it?” Crowley asked, his eyes sparkling from happiness and his hair all over his face.
Aziraphale let out a small, breathy chuckle at the sight of his adorable lover, and rose to his feet, walking towards Crowley.
“I more than like it, I love it,” Aziraphale answered, brushing some strands back from Crowley’s face.
“Good. You want to try the bed?” Crowley proposed cockily, dipping his hands down onto the small of Aziraphale’s back.
“Crowley dear, we both know it’s like this,” Aziraphale teased, and before Crowley could ask, he found himself on his back on the bed, pinned down carefully by Aziraphale.
“Zira?!” Crowley squeaked in happy surprise.
Aziraphale let out another breathy laugh before bending down and kissing Crowley softly, the demon’s hands running over his form, reaching the front of his shirt and undoing the buttons. As the kiss deepened, Aziraphale helped shrug off his shirt, holding Crowley’s face gently, and staying off of his stomach so he didn’t hurt him.
When Crowley went for his pants, Aziraphale broke the kiss, giving him a playful smile when Crowley let’s out a whimper. With a click of fingers, Crowley found himself de-robbed and sitting propped up by the pillows of the nest.
“Your nest is very nice love,” Aziraphale praise, his lips travelling down Crowley’s chest, kissing softly against the skin as he went.
Crowley watched as Aziraphale settled between his thighs, his fingers running through the coarse hair that trailed down from his belly button. His hands trailed lower until they were resting just above his half-hard dick, Crowley’s eyes trained on his every move.
With far too much grace, Aziraphale wrapped his lips around the head of Crowley’s dick, gently sucking as his mouth bobbed lower and lower. Crowley gripped at the blankets beneath him, stifling a moan before it poured from his lips.
Aziraphale’s hands danced around his skin, playing in the coarse hair, and squeezing and teasing at Crowley’s balls, making him squirm and groan from pleasure underneath him. Each time Aziraphale’s head rose up and Crowley’s dick slipped from his lips, small words of praise and enamourment fell from Aziraphale’s lips and Crowley found himself biting his lip, and the slight sting of tears twinging in the corner of his eyes.
Soft words of praise kept filling his ears and mixed with the warmth of Aziraphale’s mouth and breath, drawing him to the edge. In a final act of desperation, Crowley grabbed at Aziraphale’s hair, resting his hand at the back of his head to indicate what he couldn’t convey in words. It seemed to work though, and Aziraphale’s head dipped as low as it could go, Crowley finishing down Aziraphale’s throat, the angel waiting patiently for the demon to finish before popping off.
Once Aziraphale cleaned up any mess with a little miracle, and got Crowley back to being clothed, they settled in the middle of the nest, Aziraphale holding Crowley in his arms.
“That was nice,” Crowley mumbled into Aiziraphale’s chest.
“Hm?” Aziraphale hummed, his hands carding loosely through Crowley’s hair.
“The praise I mean, it was nice to hear,” Crowley admitted, his voice barely a whisper.
“I’ll keep that in mind… but Crowley?”
“Everything I said was true, you really are the most lovely demon,” Aziraphale whispered, giving Crowley a smile when he looked up at him.
“Thanks, angel,” Crowley mumbled, pecking Aziraphale on the lips.
“You’re welcome,” Aziraphale beamed, pecking him back.
They returned to their silence, and Aziraphale resumed running his hand through Crowley’s hair.
“Angel?” Crowley asked, breaking the silence once more.
“Yes, dear?” Aziraphale answered, his mind wandering back to the conversation.
“Can you braid my hair?” Crowley whispered quietly.
Aziraphale’s hand stilled in Crowley’s hair. Yes, not long ago he brushed Crowley’s hair and had washed it, but that was because Crowley himself still couldn’t see and take care of it properly. He hadn’t actually expected to be asked to do more than that.
“Crowley dear, are you sure?” Aziraphale asked softly, sitting up to look at Crowley better.
“Yeah… I just… wanted to… there was something you asked a long time ago, that I wanted to explain…” Crowley stammered, trying to explain himself.
Aziraphale sat cross-legged in the nest and patted the spot in front of him. Next to him lay a hairbrush, comb, some elastics, and a bow.
“Well come on then, I can’t braid your hair while you’re laying down,” Aziraphale said warmly, trying to be as inviting as he could be.
Crowley pushed himself up and sat in front of Aziraphale, sinking into the feeling of Aziraphale brushing his hair out, and separating it into parts.
“You asked me a very long time ago what it was liked to fall,” Crowley started, a deep breath filling his lungs.
Aziraphale was a little taken aback at this. Crowley had never said anything about his falling more than that he just sauntered vaguely downwards, yet here he was, willingly spilling his guts onto the floor.
“Don’t… talk until I’m finished, okay?” Crowley requested.
“Okay,” Aziraphale agreed, sitting back and carefully braiding Crowley’s hair together.
“I didn’t fall because of the usual reasons someone falls. It all happened one sunny Sunday, which is why I don’t like Sundays, I was working on a new nebula, watching it form in my hands when…”
Stars glowed in his eyes as he watched the baby nebula start to grow from his tiny power. Three large sets of wings rested close to his back, framing his immortal body. But his eyes weren’t on the baby nebula, oh no, they were trained on one man, and one man only.
A white-haired, blue-eyed, golden haloed angel that had a heart of gold. Crowley watched as he played with the fledglings, none of them were his own, Crowley knew this, they were all the fledglings of the archangels that had managed to find their souls true mates, their other halves, their missing piece and in some cases, pieces.
Crowley had yet to find his own. But this man, the white-haired angel who was charged with watching the fledglings, came pretty damn close. His heart swelled with joy as he watched the angel play.
All too suddenly, the nebula snapped and sparked him, as he nearly dropped it. Gently, Crowley pushed it towards the sky and watched as it took its place amongst the stars.
And then his gaze dropped down to Earth, the barren landscape where God herself was working, building a large and caged in garden.
Crowley wanted nothing more than to go down to Earth and bask in the world that she had created, but he knew more than anything that he wasn’t allowed to do so, although he didn’t understand why.
“Raphael!” an obnoxious voice called in a sickeningly sweet tone from behind him.
“I told you, my name is Crawley, Gabriel, what do you want,” Crowley demanded in a dead tone of voice, glaring through the sky before turning to face his fellow Archangel.
“God has summoned you,” Gabriel told him in a hushed voice, a look of fear spreading on his face.
Crowley felt his stomach drop, his face paling, and the stars around him diming.
“No… you’re joking,” Crowley whispered, looking at Gabriel with disbelief.
“I wish I was brother, I wish I was,” Gabriel admitted sadly, offering his hand to Crowley.
Crowley took it silently, letting Gabriel pull him into hug quickly before, flying off with him, leading him towards her.
When Crowley landed, Gabriel flew off, unable to watch his brother during this.
Crowley looked up towards the large throne in the middle of the coliseum where God sat, her gaze staring down at him angerly.
“Raphael,” she started, “You have constantly tested and defied me. You refuse to carry out orders or have any part in anything but building the stars that light our Heavens. While that is respectable, you have also backed up those who choose to defy what we do such as Lucifer himself, and Beezlebub, which goes far above any other offence you have committed. For these blasphemies, you have been banished from Heaven, unless you can prove otherwise.”
“God! I refuse to do anything but play with the stars because you refuse to assign me to Earth. I don’t want to run those who go to Earth, I want to be someone who gets to experience the world and secure souls for Heaven,” Crowley told her, arguing his point.
“HOW DARE YOU!? YOU SNAKE!!” God shouted, the sound rumbling through the coliseum.
Crowley tried to back away, to run, to fly but he was frozen in place. The ground around him sank and swallowed him whole and he fell through thousands and thousands of miles of darkness where his only light was his own burning feathers.
He could feel the feathers burn away, and scorch, staining them black and charred. If angels could feel pain, that’s what he would be feeling right now, but all he could feel was emptiness. Just a sudden emptiness that nothing filled, and only grew as he fell further and further from Heaven.
As he fell, a new sensation ran over his body. He pulled his arms up to his face, and small black scales covered his skin and he watched as his once golden freckles slowly dulled and faded on his skin until they were nearly gone from his skin.
Tears fell after him as he cried until his back crashed against the stone of the ground below.
He laid there for what felt like ages, not even flinching when he heard footsteps approach him.
“Crawley?!” a shocked voice asked as memories from Heaven slowly began to slip from his mind, the only thing remaining was his stars.
Crowley knew who he was talking too before he even looked up, the stout demon with matted black hair and a large fly on their head, hand outstretched towards him was Beezlebub, one of the few who had ever listened to him about wanting to change his name.
“Beezlebub?” Crowley’s own voice betrayed him as he took their hand.
“What are you doing here?” Beezlebub asked.
“What does it look like? I fell,” the words tasted sour on Crowley’s tongue as the once human-shaped tongue clicked and hissed inside his mouth as he tried to speak.
“Well, welcome to Hell, where she has no power,” Beezlebub greeted him solemnly, “I’ll show you to your domain.”
“Okay,” Crowley breathed, walking next to Beezlebub into the depths of Hell.
“...and, that’s all I remember,” Crowley finished.
Crowley nor Aziraphlae would ever tell a soul what happened after Crowley had confessed his story to Aziraphale, neither of them said much, it was more comfortable for the other, than words.
It would stay private till the end of time.
Chapter 7: Tooth rotting fluff ahead
So I figured we could all use some wholesome fluff after that last chapter. So, fluff chapter, grab your toothbrushes so you don't get cavities!
And for all you nerds out there (though I doubt you paid this much attention) it has been thirty-one days since their first date (their time, not irl)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The next morning, Crowley woke up still in the nest. He glanced around as his eyes adjusted to the light and realized that Aziraphale wasn’t next to him.
“Aziraphale?” Crowley called out into morning silence.
He waited a bit and then there were footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Oh dear, sorry, I was just making some tea. I didn’t think I’d take too long,” Aziraphale yammered, coming up the stairs in white and blue striped pyjamas and carrying a tray with scones and two teacups.
Crowley’s face fell into a soft smile as the other man sat down next to him.
“Sorry, got a little worried,” he grumbled, kissing Aziraphale on the cheek.
“I assumed as much,” Aziraphale commented, kissing his cheek in return, “It’s a lovely morning outside, isn’t it.”
Crowley glanced out the window to his right, staring off at the trees, the grass, and the calm sea that was just outside their backdoor.
“Yeah, it is,” he confirmed, picking up a scone and trying a small piece of it before finding out he quite enjoyed the mix of chocolaty sweetness and the way it crumbled in his mouth.
“Wait, Crowley, can you see outside?” Aziraphale asked cautiously, trying to see if the demon was joking or not.
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I… AZIRAPHALE!!” Crowley’s sentence was disturbed halfway when he came to the realization that he could see properly once more.
“You can see again,” Aziraphale half whispered half sang, holding Crowley’s hand gently.
“I can see you again,” Crowley whispered back and promptly kissed Aziraphale’s lips.
A short, chaste, morning kiss was shared between the two men before they pulled back.
“You should eat your scone, you’re going to need the energy. We’re going to London today,” Aziraphale instructed him, picking up his own scone.
“What are we going in for?” Crowley asked, trying to get more information out of his partner.
“You’ll see,” Aziraphale merely hummed, admiring the braid in Crowley’s hair that had stayed intact over the night.
After Aziraphale and Crowley had finished their maybe breakfast, Aziraphale showed Crowley around the little house, letting him marvel at the place he’d been staying in for the past twenty-three days without ever actually seeing it properly with his own eyes.
When Aziraphale showed him the bedroom so they could “get dressed” he was actually kind of in love with the room, but don’t tell Aziraphale that.
That day, Crowley had decided to wear something more feminine and had gone with a yellow summer dress that had a dark brown belt that sat just under the growing baby belly, and paired it with a pair of yellow framed sunglasses, if you looked close enough, you could see the small, light brown dots scattered across his face like tiny stars, but he doubted anyone would pay that much attention.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, went with a baby blue button-up and a beige sweater that matched the slightly darker pants he was wearing. His outfit was much more his usual style but with a small twist, something a bit lighter for summer.
Crowley had insisted on driving to London, on the position that Aziraphale drove to slow, even though they still didn’t fully trust his eyesight. And Aziraphale had to admit that the drive was fairly pleasant and a better experience than the one he had driving out to the cottage.
Once they reached London, Crowley parked the Bentley next to Aziraphale’s shop and they went inside to check and see how the shop was faring. It was doing quite well if anyone was wondering. The few packages that sat just inside were put inside the Bentley to be taken back home before Aziraphale announced that they were going on an adventure and lead Crowley out of the shop by his hand.
“Where are we going ‘Zira?” Crowley asked, feeling everyone’s eyes on him despite his belly being very unnoticeable it still ate away at his subconscious unlike nothing had before.
Aziraphale could sense the discomfort of his partner, and looked over to give him a reassuring look. “Don’t worry dear, you’ll like it.”
“It doesn’t change the fact I don’t know where we’re going,” Crowley protested, giving him a look that Aziraphale definitely realized as distress.
Looking for a quick escape, Aziraphale froze time around them.
“Crowley, do you really want to know?” He had to ask, although he wasn’t against telling his partner, he really hoped it was going to be a surprise.
“I’m just worried, I feel people staring and I don’t want to walk very far in public,” Crowley admitted, slightly glad that the world was frozen around them.
“Dear, no one is looking at you, and if they were, all they would see is a perfectly gorgeous woman and her lover walking down the street, nothing more, this…” Aziraphale cautiously placed his hand on Crowley’s stomach and was thankful when he didn’t flinch away, “Is our little secret for now.”
Crowley breathed a sigh of relief. “This place, is it far from here?”
“No, just another block, don’t worry love,” Aziraphale promised with a smile, turning time back on.
“Alright,” Crowley said with a smile, letting Aziraphale lead on.
They walked for the next block and as Aziraphale had promised, they reached their destination. In front of them was a very adorable looking white shop that had little baby books and onesies on display in the front window.
“Angel, a baby shop? What will people think if they see us? Are you sure?” Crowley panicked, holding his lover’s arm tightly.
“Oh dear,” Aziraphale snapped his fingers, freezing time once more, “it’s okay love, no one’s going to think less of us, they might actually be happy for us, and both our respective bosses have given us their blessings, you can go into a shop. You might actually find something you like.”
“But, we don’t have money Angel, how do we pay?” Crowley asked, and Aziraphale realized he should’ve explained before going here.
“We do, God sent us a credit card with unlimited credit as long as we spend it responsibly,” Aziraphale explained, taking out the card and showing it to Crowley.
There was a soft pause before Crowley wiped his face, looking up at Aziraphale. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
The question broke Aziraphale’s heart, nearly tearing him in two. “Of course I want to do this. A little family with the love of my life? Why wouldn’t I want that?”
Something must’ve clicked inside Crowley, I wouldn’t say it was the final click, but it was pretty close. He stood up and kissed Aziraphale softly.
“And you’re sure?” he double-checked once more.
“Always,” Aziraphale smiled reassuringly.
“Okay, then let’s do this,” Crowley announced with a big smile, replaying time with a click of his fingers.
Together, they stepped inside and had barely glanced around before a cheerful young human with pink hair that just went past their ears held up in a short ponytail.
“Good evening,” they smiled, “Is there anything I can help the two of you with today?”
Aziraphale blinked, it wasn’t evening, it was still bright out. “It’s not evening,” he politely pointed out.
“Oh sorry, I say that to everyone I greet, helps lighten the mood when someone else has no clue about something and makes my customers more open to asking me questions,” they explained, laughing awkwardly.
“Ah, that’s actually remarkably smart,” he commented, “I do believe we need a bit of help, but my partner’s better off answering that one, he’s the one we’re shopping for.”
Now at this point, the thought process of the shopping assistant was actually quite pleasant. The supposedly male partner has given the proper pronoun to his counterpart and eluded on who was most likely going to be picking out the items for their visit today and this might actually turn out to be a rather cute pair to help as the one in the dress was clinging quite close to his partner and looking rather like a fish out of water as opposed to his very calm partner.
“I see, well, would you like some help then?” they repeated the question at Crowley.
“I… erm… yes?” Crowley stuttered, getting really flustered all of a sudden.
“Alright then, my name is A, feel free to ask any questions that come to mind today. What is it that you’re looking for today?” they asked happily, introducing themself.
“We…” Crowley’s gaze dropped to Aziraphale for help.
“I’m Aziraphale,” Aziraphale said, holding out his hand that A shook, “We haven’t gotten anything as of late. We were waiting to make sure nothing would happen to the little bundle, so we don’t have anything yet,” Aziraphale explained.
“I see, well let’s start with furniture then?” A suggested, waiting for them to say anything. When they got a nod from the red-head, they motioned for them to follow them.
They walked to the back of the shop where furniture sat.
“Alright, so usually your typical nursery has a crib of course, with that you need a mattress, waterproof cover, and crib sheets, we have a special on that gives you a set of all three for a deal of eight hundred and fifty pounds,” A explained, showing off the section of cribs that were part of that deal. “But you don’t always need to have that deal, some parents want special cribs or have their own and just want sheets, this back corner of the store is for cribs, sheets, and covers.” A showed the other cribs off to Crowley and Aziraphale.
“I see. Are there any you like dear?” Aziraphale asked, looking at his lover.
“Um, I like that one.” Crowley pointed to the crib that had stars in constellations on the front and back panels, either panel was white or black and the middle rails of the crib matched that theme in the form of painted wood.
“It looks lovely,” Aziraphale complimented, making Crowley beam.
“So in this store, we do a baby list, essentially we write done everything you pick out and when we’re done, we give you the list so that you can decide what you wish to buy, and you can always come back and not forget what you picked out on your last visit,” A told them, taking out a pad of paper, “shall we start one for you two?”
“That sounds splendid,” Aziraphale agreed, and Crowley nodded.
“Alright, I’ll keep track for you so you can focus your attention on picking out things you like and not have to worry if it’s written down or not,” A informed them.
“Thank you,” Crowley said politely, starting to find his confidence again.
“Your welcome. There are also cribs you can buy that go next to your bed, for when you want to have your baby, or babies, close by while you sleep because let’s get real, separation anxiety is a real thing, expecially for… new parents,” A informed them. Now what A usually says for the last scentece was new mom’s, however, they couldn’t do so now, and it took them a while to find the sentence.
Aziraphale and Crowley hummed and hawed over the cribs before they added a simple wood one that matched their bed and made it clear they wanted to move on.
“And next, we have is nursing chairs. We like to have a large selection of ones that swivel, lean back, and rock so that you can choose from whatever you prefer for design and aesthetics as well as functionality,” A informed them, walking them over to the chairs sitting close by. “Feel free to try them out.”
Crowley finally left Aziraphale’s side, walking over to the chairs and trying each one out until one caught his attention. The particular chair was large black one with white pillows. It was rather good quality, and you could adjust the armrests. It was also one of their few chairs that also came with a footrest. Crowley sat it in a while, lost in thought, before motioning for Aziraphale to come over.
A watched as Aziraphale walked over to his lover and leaned on the back of the chair, head in folded arms on the top of the chair. They couldn’t hear what was being said, but eventually, they were motioned over to the incredibly cute couple who had just made their day.
“This one please,” Crowley told them, and A wrote it down.
“I’m glad you like it…” A proceeded to rattle off its functions, warrantee, and price.
They next moved onto dressers, drawers, and changing tables. The pair hummed and hawed over each before decided to get two dressers and decided on a changing pad they can put on top of one of the dressers.
Next was apparently sheets, towels, slings, and blankets, on which they were (almost) very sensible. They did splurge on a couple of items like a set of angel wing hooded towels, adorable snake scale print sheets, devil and angel print sheets, and star print blankets, as well as other items.
“...and this is a sling,” A stated, showing off a very odd fabric contraption.
“Hm?” Crowley hummed, tilting his head.
“It goes around you like this,” A referred to the mannequin nearby, “and you can carry your baby in it to have your hands free.”
“Oh dear, that’s perfect!” Aziraphale exclaimed, giving Crowley a happy look that he shared as well.
Crowley and Aziraphale then proceeded to pick out three slings, a black one, a beige one, and a white one (for backup) and add them to the basket they had gotten once they started looking at less heavy items.
Amongst other things, they also picked out a large diaper bag that was black with a little pair of golden wings embroidered on the side and far too many pockets. They weren’t sure if Crowley was going to lactate or not so they picked up a few things like a little contraption to catch drips, some pads, and a special shirt that had zippers on the sides.
They may have gone a little overboard on outfits and bibs, but could you blame them? Amongst the things, they bought a white onesie with Angel printed on the front and two golden angel wings on the back, a black onesie that read Demon in training , one that read My dad’s saved the world and all they got was me , but Crowley’s favourite was I’ve Fallen for you… wait I can’t get up, help! Aziraphale didn’t find the humour in it. They also purchased several patterned bibs and bandana bibs that had assorted patterns like flames, books, and stars.
Something helpful they found was a little book they could keep track of everything they did as well as the time so they didn’t get lost in the days with their little one. Another small splurge they bought with the book was a small little blue bunny that was holding a soft blanket.
They also picked up a couple of toys, as well as a snake plushy that was red and black like Crowley, a large mobile that had stars and clouds, and a couple of pacifiers that were simple colour combinations that had wing patterns as the rings.
Crowley and Aziraphale settled on the crib, chair, bed-side crib, and dressers they had picked out previously, and paid for everything at the counter of the shop as well as next-day delivery to their house since the Bentley could never fit all of the furniture.
As Aziraphale and Crowley stepped out of the shop after bidding their goodbyes, Aziraphale kissed Crowley’s cheek.
“There, was that alright?” Aziraphale asked him as the Bentley pulled up in front of them.
“Yeah, it wasn’t that bad. I can’t believe what we found though,” Crowley commented, a spark of happiness in his voice. “But, you planned the activity, at least allow me to take you to dinner, I believe a spot at the Ritz just opened up,” Crowley proposed, opening the car door for Aziraphale.
“That would be lovely,” Aziraphale smiled, getting into the car with him.
What Aziraphale didn’t know, was that Crowley had made an actual reservation at the Ritz, sort of, he made a few miracles while Aziraphale was talking with A on his phone and had his own surprise for the night.
With a snap of his fingers, Crowley was in black dress pants and a white button-up dress shirt so that he matched Aziraphale in terms of the level of dress.
When the Bentley pulled up to the Ritz, Crowley hopped out quickly and told Aziraphale to wait for a moment. He ran up to the main desk inside and double-checked his reservation before handing the staff a small item and exchanging a few words with them. Then he ran back to the car, which was rather difficult because the baby was draining his energy.
“Are you ready my dear?” Crowley asked, holding out his hand for Aziraphale to take.
“Of course angel,” Aziraphale giggled, taking Crowley’s hand.
Crowley walked proudly up to the desk, and the waitress showed them their table, right next to the window and handed them their menu’s.
This time, Crowley actually ordered himself food, he got lobster, Aziraphale got the lamb. Both enjoyed their meals and made light conversation over dinner while exchanging glances like two adorable teens in love for the first time.
“Are you sir’s ready for the desert?” the server asked them, topping up Aziraphale’s champagne and Crowley’s sparkling water.
“It’s already ordered?” Aziraphale asked, his brow furrowing.
“Angel, relax... Yes, I believe we are,” Crowley told the waiter, putting his hand over Aziraphale’s to calm the other man.
“Very well,” the waiter nodded, giving Crowley a look of support before stalking off.
“I ordered dessert before we got inside so you’d have some decent crepes,” Crowley explained to Aziraphale.
“Oh,” Aziraphale breathed, giving in to the soft smile tugging at his lips.
As if on cue, the waiter returned, setting a tray of Crepes for two set onto the plate in a heart shape down in front of them. In the center of the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle sat a small ring. It had two bands of metal -one black and the other white, or rather silver- that came together at a point weaved loosely around three white diamonds in the center of the ring.
Aziraphale’s eyes seemed to sparkle and soft pink blush had spread across his face.
“Aziraphale, you’re the love of my life, the only person I’ve ever been able to give my whole heart away too and have someone give theirs back. I met you in the garden of Eden and I damn well intend to hold onto the one fragment of light in my life who seems to always find the good in everything. Never in my six thousand years of walking this planet have I found a better friend, lover, or partner. I’ve been able to trust you more than I’ve ever trusted you, and I’ve loved you more than a person shuould be able to, so, I was wondering, will you marry me?”
There were no words left to describe them and if there were, Crowley would’ve used them. Aziraphale’s mind went fuzzy, and he leaned across the table, grabbing Crowley’s collar and pulling him in for a long kiss.
When they finally pulled back, both were at a loss for words.
“So is that a yes?” Crowley asked.
“Of course,” Aziraphale chuckled, picking up the ring and cleaning it off before putting it around his finger. “Actually, I was going to propose to you as well.” Aziraphale pulled out a little box, and opened it, showing off a small black band with a strip of silver running through the middle.
“Anthony J Crowley, will you marry me?” Aziraphale asked confidently.
“Of course,” Crowley whispered while taking the ring and putting it onto his won finger.
“I wish my proposal was a little more like yours, but you took the words from my mouth,” Aziraphale admitted.
“You sap,” Crowley mumbled.
“Yeah, but you love me. Now hurry up, these crepes are getting cold.”
Final notes: I'm sorry this chapter is later than usual, I'm preparing to start school again next week, and I may have gotten caught up in scrolling through baby stuff to make sure they get everything that is adorable in this chapter. I also realize that not everyone buys everything all in one trip, and mostly do it online, but they don't really have a computer, and Aziraphale is old fashioned so they went shopping (it also gives them fluff time).
Also, this is the ring I based off the one Crowley used
Aziraphale's doesn't have a base ring...
“Okay, but how do you have sex?” Beezlebub asked, very seriously to a very, very close to laughter Crowley as a very flustered Gabriel sat next to them.
Hello, my name’s Aziraphale and you’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well, it all started a couple of hours ago...
It had been a really late night for the two of them. They’d just gotten home when the delivery men were at their front door, Aziraphale answered and showed them the room where they could leave the items, letting Crowley rest in the bedroom. After everything was settled,
Aziraphale joined Crowley.
“How are you feeling?” Aziraphale asked, crawling into bed with Crowley.
“I’m alright, what about you?” Crowley returned the question, kissing Aziraphale’s forehead lightly.
“Better now that we’re home,” Aziraphale admitted, removing the hair elastic from Crowley’s braid and letting his hair fall out of form.
“Yeah, it’s quiet here,” Crowley mumbled, resting his head on Aziraphale’s chest.
They sat peacefully, Aziraphale running his hand through Crowley’s hair and Crowley drawing small circles on Aziraphale’s thigh. It was peaceful, almost too peaceful, but neither parties wanted to move or do anything for a few centuries and stay in this peaceful bliss.
That was until there was a large crash in the kitchen…
Aziraphale and Crowley exchanged glances and went to investigate, Aziraphale protectively standing in front of Crowley, slowly walking towards the kitchen. As they got closer, there was grumbling and some shuffling noises.
“Who’s there?” Aziraphale demanded, making the noises stop.
“Oi it’s just me,” a voice grumbled, making Crowley rush into the room in a very unlike-Crowley fashion.
“LoRd BeEzLEbuB?!” Crowley squeaked.
There, in the middle of the god damn kitchen, surrounded by pots and spoons was Beezlebub.
“I may need your help,” Beezlebub stated flatly.
“I thought you hated me,” Crowley retorted.
“I don’t… hate you that much…” Beezlebub said.
“You tried to kill me,” Crowley reminded them.
“What would you do? Lucifer was watching, he wanted a punishment!” Beezlebub argued.
Crowley paused when Aziraphale’s hand rested on his shoulder.
“What did you need help with?” Aziraphale urged the gremlin-like demon.
“So you know how you two traitors have this whole,” Beezlebub gestured vaguely, “thing, going on. Yeah well, I need advice on that.”
“On our relationship?” Crowley inquired, confused.
“No dumbarse. My own, with an angel, not your whatever-this-is-thing,” Beezlebub clarified in a very annoyed tone.
“Oh! Who’s the lucky angel?” Aziraphale questioned excitedly, smiling and clapping his hands together.
“I… well… you see… umm… it’s-” Beezlebub’s sentence (if you could even call it that) was cut in two by another loud crash from their bedroom.
You see, very nervous supernatural entities weren’t that good at teleporting when they found themselves flustered and confused.
“Aziraphale! Pornography!” Was all they heard from the bedroom. Crowley, who had been standing dumbfounded in the middle of the living room was now on the floor laughing his arse off, and Beezlebub looked far too confused and was staring at the red-faced angel in the middle of the room.
“I don’t suppose that’s who you were talking about?” Aziraphale inquired politely.
“That would be my dumbarse,” Beezlebub grumbled, pinching the bridge of their nose.
“Stay here,” Aziraphale instructed before walking off towards the bedroom.
Aziraphale opened the door to their bedroom to find Gabriel in the middle of the room. He just sighed.
“Is this about Beezlebub?” Aziraphale guessed.
Gabriel looked up at him with a ‘wtf how did you know’ look. “Yeah why?”
“Go to the living room,” Aziraphale simply instructed.
And that is how Azraphale found himself, sitting across from Archangel-fucking-Gabriel and Lord Beezlebub, trying to explain the ins and outs of a romantic relationship. This was not how Aziraphale had wanted to spend his Saturday.
“Okay, but how do you have sex?” Beezlebub asked, very seriously to a very, very close to laughter Crowley as a very flustered Gabriel sat next to them.
“Well you see… do you know how to manifest parts?” Aziraphale inquired gingerly, not really ready to give their superiors the ins and outs of their sex life.
Beezlebub just blinked at them. “What now?” they asked.
Gabriel who had been relatively reserved with questions shook his head.
Aziraphale let out a small groan. “Okay, well it’s like changing your hair or bring out your wings, so to speak. Just picture yourself having whatever part or parts you desire and make it be using your miracles,” Aziraphale attempted to explain with the least vulgar words he could find.
“Ah, simple,” Gabriel mused, moving to stand up.
“NOT HERE!!!” Crowley, Aziraphale, and Beezlebub all shouted in response.
“Fine,” Gabriel rolled his eyes and sat back down, “You would’ve been jealous though, my penis would’ve been bigger than yours.”
“Please… never say that again,” Aziraphale told him as politely as possible, cringing at the thought.
“And sex is…?” Beezlebub pressed, not getting the full answer.
“Simple, if you’re going straight up penetration, just stick whoever is topping’s shlong inside either the other’s arse or vulva, if you wanna do somethin’ else, try using your mouths, or if you’re really feeling kinky,” Crowley paused, two large boobs appearing on his chest and pushing them up, “your breasts,” Crowley winked, finishing his explanation.
Beezlebub made a face mixed with disgust, shock, and curiosity.
Gabriel just face-palmed.
“And if you want to try something else, you can always buy some books or visit some “adult” shops here on Earth,” Aziraphale supplied.
“Ah, about Earth, I have purchased a cottage nearby per god’s request,” Gabriel informed them.
“Of course you have,” Aziraphale muttered under his breath, “That sounds lovely, will you be around often?”
“Only once a couple of months, I still have a job in Heaven, but we have much more relaxed policies on demon and angel relationships now that the whole debacle with Armageddon,” Gabriel supplied helpfully, filling Aziraphale in.
“I see, that sounds heavenly. Is that why the two of you are…?” Aziraphale asked, leaving the ending vague.
“Yes, it’s why,” Gabriel confirmed, putting one leg over the other.
“Well you two make the cutest couple,” Crowley teased, dragging his words out.
“Watch it, Crowley, you’re still on thin ice,” Beezlebub warned him.
“I’m immune to Holy Water, what are you going to do to me?” Crowley retorted, picking up a biscuit and munching on it.
“Now now, there’s no time to fight, we have to start heading to Headquarters now,” Gabriel reminded Beezlebub.
“Right…” Beezlebub grumbled, “Come along then,” they motioned for Crowley and Aziraphale to follow them as they stood up.
“We’re going?” Aziraphale questioned, moving to stand up.
“Yes, orders from the Almighty and Satan themselves,” Gabriel told him, “Hurry, Crowley’s appointment is in ten minutes.”
Crowley seemed the most confused of all, but a reassuring hand on his back and his lover asking the questions made him feel slightly at ease.
“What appointment?” Aziraphale asked.
“We didn’t explain, fuck. Okay, Crowley has a monthly appointment at Headquarter’s Hospital for Ethereal Beings, yes you didn’t have one last month but you weren’t exactly aware of this situation,” Gabriel explained with a sigh.
“That’s preposterous, you can’t jus-” Aziraphale started, his sentence was stopped short when Crowley stood up.
“It’s okay Aziraphale, it’ll keep us from fretting over the fledgling’s health too much,” Crowley assured him.
“Fine,” Aziraphale sighed, giving in.
“There, now it’s all sorted out, let’s go, we’re going to be late,” Gabriel announced, clapping his hands together and sending the four of them far from the cottage.
When they arrived, they were in a large waiting room with a couple of other beings around them, which were strange-looking couples, two female angels, a straight couple of angels, three angels (two males, and a female) with the males fawning over the female, an odd male demon pair, and a single angel and demon dotting the room, each pair had at least one pregnant being.
Gabriel went up to the desk and said something to the receptionist, who in turn nodded and buzzed someone to the main room. Within a few seconds, a tall, lanky, Burnett angel with buzzed sides and a man bun approached them.
“Ah, hello, you two must be our miracle couple,” he chirped, greeting them with a smile and glancing quickly at Crowley’s semi-swelled stomach.
Aziraphale put his arm around Crowley, resting it on his hip and pulling his lover closer to him.
“We’re simply a couple expecting a fledgling, and we expect to be treated as such,” Aziraphale spat, puffing out his chest and letting his wings rest on the same plane, stretching them out in an act of dominance.
“Mr.Fell, there is no need for such demands, now settle down and put away your wings and fill out these,” the doctor glared, brandishing his own wings and thrusting some forms at him.
Aziraphale bared his teeth, and left his wings out but took the forms and, lead Crowley (who had been glancing around nervously) away to a corner, and turning his back from the rest of the room to help Crowley fill out the forms, his wings surrounding them.
“Are you okay?” Aziraphale asked him as Crowley filled out his form.
“Y-yeah I guess,” Crowley lied.
He had remembered how Dom Angels treated their Sub mates but didn’t think that those behaviours were still on-going. Subs got treated like property, expected to be quiet, tradeable, “fruitful”, and submissive, where Doms battled over them, swapped them around like toys, and lusted after them. When he was around, you were lucky to get a good Dom who actually loved you, protected you, and cared for you, whether you bore children or not.
Crowley quietly thought to himself if that had changed or not.
“It’s changed, but only slightly,” Aziraphale commented as if he read his mind, “Doms who treat their Subs poorly or like objects aren’t socially acceptable anymore, but besides that, not much has changed.”
“Oh,” Crowley sighed, a little crestfallen.
Aziraphale kissed the top of Crowley’s head, giving him a gentle sense of calm.
“Don’t worry, we won't be here long, and I’ll protect you,” Aziraphale told him, running his fingers through Crowley’s hair, “now finish filling out your forms, dear.”
Crowley let out a defeated sigh and did as he was told, finishing the forms and passing them to Aziraphale, letting him fill out his own. Essentially, it was just stating their general health, preferred names, preferred pronouns, relationship, past partners, and other things you’d find on a medical form, yet there was one more, for Aziraphale, Do you agree to have _____ carry your Fledglings or would you like us to terminate the pregnancy for you? I agree ⎸ Terminate ⎸.
Aziraphale nearly barfed in his own mouth. He quickly checked agree . Before Crowley noticed and put all the papers back in order.
“Stay here, I’m going to turn these in,” Aziraphale told Crowley, standing up.
“Okay,” Crowley muttered, moving so that he was man-spreading so that he’d look less submissive.
Aziraphale gave him a smile and walked over to the reception desk. Both Beezlebub and Gabriel had disappeared and Aziraphale was more than glad his boss and lover’s boss were gone from their presence for this.
“Am I to give these to you?” Aziraphale asked, speaking to the receptionist.
“Ah yes, thank you,” she smiled, taking the papers, “the doctor is waiting, I’ll have a nurse take you two to your room.”
“Thank you,” Aziraphale smiled, and turned around.
His happy attitude vanished instantly. Crowley was cowered in the corner with a very attractive male demon standing over him, taking about someone knows what.
Aziraphale strode over, catching a clip of the conversation.
“...I could treat you better than that angel, you’d make a lovely addition to my collection,” the demon was telling his mate.
Aziraphale stopped behind him.
“Excuse me?” he coughed, arms folded and waiting impatiently for the demon to turn around.
“Oh look, the nambie-pambie angel who just had to brandish his wings to a doctor because’s he’s-that-self-concious returns,” the demon chuckled, turning to face Aziraphale.
“I did that action to make my mate feel safer. You would know to do so if you paid yours any attention instead of leaving him alone to hit on other pregnant demons,” Aziraphale retorted, standing his ground. “You should be careful about who you hit on, we have both God and Satan’s blessings for this child. Now back away and return to your mate.”
“Jeez man, you don’t have to be so rude,” he snarled, turning and stalking over to the small, frail-looking man in the other corner of the room.
“Thanks,” Crowley said as Aziraphael sat down next to him.
“Of course, you’re my mate,” Aziraphale reminded him, giving Crowley a quick kiss on the cheek.
“And we’re also engaged,” Crowley added, showing the small ring on his finger.
“Mhm, it looks lovely on you as well,” Aziraphale complimented him, taking his hand in his own.
“Anthony?” the nurse called from the reception desk.
Aziraphale and Crowley got up and let her lead them down the hall to a room.
Just in here, the doctor will be in shortly, change into this,” she handed Crowley a white and blue spotted hospital gown and shut the door on them.
“Angel?” Crowley’s voice cut through the air in the room.
“Yes, dear?” Aziraphale replied, turning towards him.
“What are we doing?” Crowley asked, his voice cracking in the middle of his sentence.
Aziraphale lunged forwards as he watched Crowley fall over into a puddle on the floor, catching him before he hurt himself.
“What do you mean?” Aziraphale pressed, trying to get more information out of the silently crying man crumpled in his arms.
“We can’t have a baby, we’re not ready, I’m not ready,” Crowley finally admitted, the words leaving his mouth.
Okay, so if Beezlebub and Gabriel are well taken too by you all I might write a scene where it's just you two, but I don't promise anything.
FYI; the next chapter will be a quick guide to Doms, Subs and general information about them, so feel free to either read or disregard it, but it'll contain relevant information for this fic. I realize this isn't traditionally how someone would do this, but I didn't want to have the notes filled with it due to the length and wanted you (the reader) to be able to refer back to it if you wanted.
Chapter 9: The Dom and Sub Dynamics of Angels and Demons
This is a reference guide for Doms and Subs, you can use this chapter for reference for the next chapters, or not, it's just a helpful guide tbh.
If you want to use these Dynamics in your own Fics, please contact me (aka comment below) and link the Fic because I'd love to read it!
I feel like this has to be stated, these are my personal headcanons, and if you disagree with them, or don't like them, that's okay! It's just a fic, you don't have to read it if you want, just skip the chapter and move on.
That said, there will be some references to Omega's and Alpha's from the ABO/Omegaverse fandom, so please just skip if that makes you uncomfortable.
And finally, have fun! Enjoy the small guide! That you for reading my fic and for your support!
The Dom and Sub Dynamic's of Angels and Demons
Doms or Alphas - They’re the dominant “gender”. They’re often powerful, strong, possessive, and egotistical. They court Subs, take pride in their Subs and are extremely possessive of their Subs. They are the ones who father Fledglings.
- In the old days, they were collective of Subs and treated them as property, trading them and valuing them only by how much Fledglings they could bare them and how they looked/behaved.
Subs or Omegas - They’re the submissive “gender”. They’re often timid, sweet, caring, kind, gentle, and doormats. Doms court them, having a powerful Dom is a sign of honour (like a medal or being married to the president/prime minister). Something that’s a new occurrence is that Subs pick and choose which Doms they mate with instead of just spreading it for anyone who comes knocking. They’re treated with more respect than the old days.
- In the old days, they were treated as trading cards, valued by looks and how submissive they were as well as how many Fledglings they could produce for their mates.
Note; Doms and Subs don’t always have these personality traits and qualities, these are just the general traits that the majority of the population posses.
Fledglings - This is the term for children. Angels/Demons are called Fledglings until they are 14 years old, this is how long it takes for them to perfect their miracle magic and learn their role/job in Heaven/Hell. It also gives the parents enough time to bond with the Fledgling(s). Unlike human children, they have a four-year-long “teen” period where they gain independence from their parents and are children for the other ten years.
- Sub/Dom relationships are the most common but Sub/Sub/Dom or a Dom with multiple Subs are also common
- Sub/Dom/Dom or a Sub with multiple Doms are shamed and the Sub(s) is called greedy or a whore/slut no matter the circumstances
- Sometimes Sub/Sub relationships or Dom/Dom relationships are formed, but not often
- Harems aren’t as uncommon in Hell as they are in Heaven
- Fledglings are usually raised by the whole community, in the case, Fledglings have multiple communities, they’re raised in the one their role is in, for example; if a fledgling is born a Cherub, they will be raised as a Cherub
- Communities are the groups their parents live in, for example; Archangels are a community, Cherubs are another, and so on.
- Subs and Doms are inherently sexless and gender isn’t an inforced topic in either Heaven/Hell, which leads to so many different combinations of Subs and Doms
- Each “reborn” angel/demon (those who died and came to Heaven/Hell) are given a dynamic
- Doms are rather possessive (as stated prior) of their mate(s) and as a display of dominance over another Dom they will spread their wings wide to intimate other Doms
- Subs nest, whether they’re pregnant or not, they create huge piles of soft things that remind them of their Dom(s) like blankets, feathers, clothes, and pillows
Any new information we find out about in the book will be added above!
The chapters will be slowing down on how frequently they are updated from now on, I have less free time atm but I am in no means stopping this fic! Bear with me though as we're going to be going through a lot of different themes and ideas in this mish-mash of a fic, and for those wondering about the Omega/Alpha implement, I am an ABO writer at heart, but I tried to organize it in a way that the lore and the pre-existing world actually works with what I have in mind.
TL/DR; Chapter updates are gonna be slower, I'm not ending this, and I am an ABO writer but will try and minimize the aspects for those who don't like ABO.
And I've decided to start a new trend for this story, each chapter (hopefully) will have its own song that describes it's mood and tone and the song will be at the end of each chapter! If I get enough songs I'll eventually make a playlist for this story.
Thank you for your Kudo's and support! I always enjoy reading your comments!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Crowley, I’m ready if you are, you’d make a great parent, what do you mean?” Aziraphale inquired, rubbing his hands in circles on Crowley’s back.
“What if I’m a terrible parent though? What if I can’t raise them right? I’m not ready because what if they’ll hate me?” Crowley whispered quietly.
“Oh Crowley, that’s a normal feeling,” Aziraphale sighed, drawing Crowley in for a hug.
“Really?” Crowley inquired softly into Aziraphale’s sweater, the hospital gown still clutched in his hands.
“Of course, even I have those feelings,” Aziraphale assured him, pressing an angelic kiss to the top of his lover’s head.
“Oh… I want to go home,” Crowley grumbled, as he played with the strings on the gown.
“I know dear, so do I, but we can’t leave yet, you have to put this on,” Aziraphale reminded him, putting his hands over Crowley’s gown.
“Fine,” Crowley huffed, his shoulders slumping as he pulled away from Aziraphale.
Crowley dropped the gown on the paper sheet that lined the examination bed. He reached from the hem of his shirt and sighed.
“Do you want some help?” Aziraphale asked tentatively, taking a step forward.
Crowley looked down, and let out another sigh. “Yeah,” he admitted quietly, “I’m really fucking tired.”
“Alright, arms up,” Aziraphale instructed, waiting for Crowley to lift his arms above his head.
As Aziraphale lifted his shirt off, the cold hospital air hit him, making Crowley shiver. He must’ve noticed though, as the gown was around him before he knew it, and Aziraphale was tying it around his waist.
“There, feel better?” Aziraphale asked, sitting down on the exam bed.
Crowley climbed up onto the bed and curled up next to him, leaning his head onto Aziraphale’s shoulder and letting out a huff.
“No,” Crowley laughed, letting Aziraphale press fluttering kisses onto his face.
“Well how about I kiss you to death!” Aziraphale announced pressing more kisses onto Crowley’s skin until he developed into a puddle of laughter underneath him. They kept going as the smile on Crowley’s face broadened until the door clicked and in stepped an angel in a white lab coat.
“Let’s get this started!” she chirped, a large smile across her face and her hair pulled back into a bun.
This is California Joespheve, chief OB/GYN of the mini-hospital that heaven and hell share. Her plate is rather full, and that is why she couldn’t get here in time (as well as the fact that she had to lecture her staff about the gossip they were saying about her next appointment). God had chosen her for this for a very specific reason.
California walked over to the sink and washed her hands before putting on some gloves. “My name is Dr.Joespheve, I am the department head of the OB/GYN department here and I will be your doctor for your prenatal appointments and the delivery. Don’t worry, I’m not going to judge you and your relationship, you see, my enbyfriend’s a demon as well,” she smiled, sitting down on her stool.
Crowley and Aziraphale were stunned. Yes, they had met Beezlebub and Gabriel and their odd dynamic but here was this other angel who was willing to admit her relationship openly.
“I have to thank you two by the way. You two made it possible for me by showing that it’s possible and having the Almighty decree that it’s allowed,” California admitted, “But anyway, I’m here to check on how your little one is developing, so please answer these questions honestly.”
California took her pen from behind her ear and held it ready above the clipboard.
“Okay,” Aziraphale nodded, squeezing Crowley’s hand in reassurance.
“So, it says here that your name is Anthony J. Crowley, is that correct?” California asked, looking at Crowley.
“Yeah,” Crowley confirmed curtly, not making eye contact.
“And you’re Aziraphale?” California asked, looking at Aziraphale this time.
“Correct,” Aziraphale confirmed, more politely than Crowley.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you both. I like to start out every appointment by asking what your preferred pronouns are and if I should expect anyone else to come to visits with you,” California explained, waiting for a response.
Aziraphale was about to speak when Crowley spoke up beside him.
“They/them please,” he told her, shocking Aziraphale a fair bit more than expected.
“Very well,” California jotted it down, “And you?”
“He/him please, and no one else should be with us,” Aziraphale told her, deciding to ask Crowley about it later.
“And your ages are correct on here, Crowley being seven thousand and Aziraphale being six thousand and five hundred, as well as Crowley’s species, being a snake?” she asked.
“Yes, those are correct,” Aziraphale confirmed, adding in a nod as well.
“Have you been to a doctor recently?” California questioned, normally her patients haven’t and simply didn’t have the need to.
“No, ‘haven't been to one since the twenty-first century,” Crowley answered, fidgeting with the hem of the gown and how it laid overtop his pants.
“I see. Have you had health problems or anything major that required seeing a doctor in the past?” California questioned again, jotting something down on her list.
“Yeah, I um…” Crowley swallowed and squeezed Aziraphale’s hand harder than he ever had, “I had a miscarriage. That’s why I had to go see the doctor.”
Aziraphale’s eyes went wide, he looked over at Crowley as the final piece clicked in their little puzzle. Crowley wasn’t just scared about being a parent, he was… they were scared about losing the child, again.
He reached over, and pulled Crowley closer, rubbing his arm soothingly as the doctor continued.
“I’m very sorry… Have you been back to a doctor since then?” California asked him, giving Crowley a sympathetic look.
“No. Didn’t have to,” Crowley admitted.
“Okay. Well then, when did you first notice this pregnancy?” California inquired, making notes on her form.
“A couple of weeks ago,” Aziraphale supplied, wanting desperately to hug Crowley as tight as he could.
“Have you had alcohol recently?” California asked.
“No,” Crowley stated curtly.
“And are there any unusual symptoms I should know about?”
“No, not really, except that he’s hungry more than he usually is,” Aziraphale supplied
“Well, that’s normal, and answers my final question. Crowley will be more hungry because he’s growing another soul. Don’t worry about that, it’s only an issue if he’s not hungry at all,” California explained, setting the clipboard down on the counter next to her and standing up.
“That makes more sense, I’ll watch him in case he loses his appetite,” Aziraphale says, giving Crowley a little kiss on the cheek.
“Yes, please do that. If there are any changes don’t be afraid to book an appointment to make sure everything’s okay. Now, I’m going to need to examine you, Crowley, do you mind laying back,” California shot Aziraphale a look to get off and he moved to the chair next to the bed, holding his partner's hand as he laid back on the bed.
Crowley let out a soft whimper when Aziraphale left his side but let the doctor lift his shirt up and check his small, protruding stomach.
It was silent for a while as she checked his belly, Crowley laying still on the table and Aziraphale just thinking. Obviously he wanted to know what had happened in the last century and he was curious about the pronouns, but he didn’t want to push Crowley into a corner. So Aziraphale resolved to wait, and let Crowley tell him on his own and that he would support Crowley with whatever he told him.
After a while, California spoke, “Okay, well, you feel normal, but how about we get a look at who we’re feeling?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” Crowley mumbled, looking at his feet.
“Wait here,” she smiled, bustling out of the room.
Silence fell over the two of them. Aziraphale didn’t know what to say, or what he should say, so he just kept holding his lover’s hand, staring at the posters on the wall across from him and waiting for the words to come to mind.
But, Crowley beat him to finding the words.
“I know what you’re thinking, I’m too much of a hassle. First the break downs, then the fall story, and now this? You can leave if you want,” Crowley huffed, holding back tears.
“Oh Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed softly, turning towards them, “I don’t care how many times you break down in front of me, or how many horrible things happen to you. You are my Crowley, my best friend, my lover, and dare I say my soulmate. Nothing that you have gone through or that we will go through together will change that.”
His finger passed over the ring on Crowley’s, lingering there just briefly, the world around them falling away so it was just the two of them in eternal silence, together forever.
“I love you,” Crowley whispered, pressing his lips to Aziraphale’s.
“I love you too,” Aziraphale whispered back, enjoying the mood of their little world.
Eventually, California came back.
“Sorry to interrupt, but the sooner this is done, the sooner you can go home,” she apologized, wheeling an ultrasound over to Crowley.
“It’s quite alright,” Aziraphale smiled, sitting a bit closer to Crowley.
“Okay, this is going to be cold on your skin, I apologize in advance,” she admits, lifting Crowley’s shirt and squirting some gel onto his stomach.
Crowley hissed from the cold, but didn’t move away, letting her press the wand to his belly and move it around.
They waited for a while, as she watched the screen until California made a happy squeak of surprise.
“Okay, well, apparently you are fifteen weeks and along!” she announced happily, “that means your due date will be February second! However, twins are born typically four weeks early, so plan on it being around January second.”
“WAIT, TWINS?!” both Aziraphale and Crowley exclaimed looking at her in shock.
“Yes, congratulations, you’re having twins. And look! They’re half-bloods,” she told them, turning the monitor towards them, “I should've started with that.”
“Crowley look,” Aziraphale sighed, looking at the little twins on the monitor, they were small and slightly misshapen but they were adorable in his eyes, little wings and all.
“But how is it possible that they’re fifteen weeks? We didn’t even have sex until a month ago.”
“Well, angelic conception doesn’t necessarily involve sex, two souls can simply bond without having to have a physically intimate relationship,” California explained, pressing print on the screen and jotting down more notes.
“Oh.” Was all Crowley could say as they stared at the picture that was handed to them.
“So, I’m going to write you a script for some prenatal vitamins, take them as instructed on the bottle, and, well, that’s everything. Please talk to the receptionist about booking your next appointment and getting the script filled. Other than that, have a nice night, I’ll see you next time,” Calfornia told them, handing them a script, and bustling out of the room.
They got Crowley dressed and ready before leaving the room, Crowley hiding under Aziraphale’s wing as they left to avoid being hit on by any more Dom’s as they got them their vitamins and booked their next appointment.
“Alright, ready to go home?” Aziraphale asked, peering underneath his wing at Crowley.
“Yeah, let’s go home,” Crowley mumbled, clutching the plastic bag.
“Hold on, okay?” Aziraphale told him, clicking his fingers and sending them far away.
This chapter's song is; In my veins, by Andrew Belle
And bad jokes but, this just hit 69 pages ;)
Chapter 11: TRIGGER WARNING
Okay, so I have to put this in the summary because it's a warning...
Warning, there will be references to rape, and miscarriage in this chapter, if this is a sensitive topic for you to deal with, I've added trigger warnings so you can read it without being too affected.
Tired, I’m tired. So very tired, and sore and my mind keeps bouncing back to the realm of my tortures that eat away at my soul.
“Aziraphale, I’m going to the loft,” I mumble softly, stumbling over towards the stairs.
“Do you want me to join you?” Aziraphale asked tentatively, appearing at my side and helping me walk up the stairs.
“No, I need some time alone,” I admit when I reached the top of the stairs, “go read your books angel.”
Aziraphale nods, I can see he wants to say something else but he doesn’t, instead, he makes sure I got to the nest and leaves me with a plate of cookies and some vitamins.
And now I’m alone, up in the attic, the stale air around me and the cushy pillows underneath me doing nothing to comfort me like Aziraphale usually does.
Instead of falling asleep right away, I toss and turn in my bed, trying to cover myself with as many blankets as I can, my wings out and my day clothes still on my body. My mind is in constant turmoil with itself, I want to tell Aziraphale about so many things, about him, about the baby, about the pronouns, I want to tell him everything and anything but whenever I try too, the words are lost on my tongue.
I can’t tell him, what if I do and he truly wants to leave and does just that? What if when I tell him it’s too unbearable for him? I just want him to love me for me and to never have to remember those awful memories, but a part of me tells me I should. He deserves the truth, but am I really ready to admit the truth to myself…
My dreams aren’t much better. I’m tossed through various dreams with the same two constant themes, my now, and my past. I can see Aziraphale’s face in my now, but all I see is his, or darkness in my past… I wish I was numb, I wish my dreams were blank and unreal, I wish I didn’t feel how I feel.
When I awake, the room is dark, I have no idea how much time has passed but there’s a plate of untouched dinner on the table and more vitamins. I reach for the food, the cannelloni's that Aziraphale froze. He must’ve heated them up.
The food barley passes my lips when a wave of nausea hits me and the contents of my stomach are on the floor and the nest before I can close my mouth, it doesn’t stop for what feels like hours, I’m scared, and I can’t move.
I just want to eat… I just want to sleep… I just want… I just want Aziraphale.
A choked sob escapes my lips, and as if he was listening, Aziraphale comes rushing up the stairs.
“Crowley I’m sorry, I tried to give you space, but I can’t just sit by and ignore you. I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Aziraphale apologizes to me, through my tears I see him come closer and sit next to me.
“Please don’t do this, don’t act like you care, you’ll only hurt yourself,” I whisper, curling into a small ball.
“I… Crowley I’m not acting. I like you, and I care for you, nothing will change that,” Aziraphale assures me.
I can’t believe it, I want to, but my mind keeps doubting it. I want to tell him, I want to scream out that I love him, explain to the end of the Earth every little detail that I can remember, every last explanation that I have for exactly who I am.
But I can’t. It feels like he’s miles away from me like he was years ago, and my mind won’t let that thought go.
“Please, believe me… Crowley, I want you, I want to marry you, I want to be with you till the end of Heaven and Hell, let me in, tell me what’s on your mind. Nothing will ever change that, I want you to tell me the pronoun problem so that I can refer to you exactly how you would like, I want to understand as much of your past as you want to give to me, and I want to be as much of your future as you’ll let me,” Aziraphale confessed, pulling me in close.
My whole body slumps against him.
“I’m sorry… I’m a terrible person, I want that too, but you’ll hate me when I tell you and… and I threw up,” I manage to say through sobs.
“Sssh, it’s okay, tell me when you're ready, but in the meantime, let me help you how I can?” Aziraphale tells me, combing through my matted hair with one hand and snapping his fingers on the other.
In an instant, the vomits gone, and it’s just the four of us on the nest.
“Okay,” I say sheepishly.
“Good!” Aziraphale announces happily, “Come on, let’s get you a bath, that’s the first step in ‘Aziraphale’s Great Big Make Crowley Happy’ plan!”
Aziraphale stands, waiting for me to do the same. I shuffle to the side of the bed and put my legs over the edge of the bed, but I struggle to push myself up.
“I um.. Can you carry me?” I mumble quietly.
“Of course,” Aziraphale complies, scooping me up in his arms and carrying me down the stairs bridal style.
The bathwater is warm around Crowley’s skin, they’re curled up in front of Aziraphale as he washes their hair, their mind running laps as they stair between their legs.
“Aziraphale?” Crowley pipes up.
“Hm?” Aziraphale hums, running the water over Crowley’s hair.
“I think I’m genderfluid,” he admits, the room going silent for a brief moment.
Crowley and Aziraphale are both very versed in human terms, always learning the new ones, so it doesn’t take Aziraphale much to piece together the meaning of what Crowley’s saying.
Just as Crowley’s anxiety was building up to unstable levels, Aziraphale speaks up. “That’s wonderful dear! I’m glad you found something that fits you. Is there a preferred pronoun for me to use for you?” Aziraphale asks, pressing a gentle kiss to Crowley’s cheek.
“It varies each day,” Crowley confesses, hoping Aziraphale would understand.
“Okay, well how about you let me know when you need me to call you something different. Even if I’m in the middle of a sentence,” Aziraphale proposes, moving to grab the soap.
“Yeah, that might work,” Crowley agrees, leaning back and getting soap all over Aziraphale’s stomach.
“CROWLEY!” Aziraphale exclaimed in shock as his stomach was coated in soap bubbles.
“What?” Crowley asked, tipping his head back and looking up at Aziraphale.
“You’re mad as hops, I love you, come here,” Aziraphale smiled, cupping Crowley’s jaw.
Crowley snorted and turned around in the tub, his arms resting on either side of Aziraphale for balance and pressed his lips against Aziraphale’s. A small hum left Aziraphale’s throat and his lips vibrated against Crowley’s as his hands ran through the damp locks that clung to Crowley’s shoulders.
The kiss didn’t go far as the ones in the past had. Yes, they still had passion and lust, that hadn’t gone away, but with everything that has happened in the past few weeks, it had all be replaced with pure romantic passion and admiration for the other, as well as the two small beings that were joining their little world soon.
Moments later, they found themselves sitting on their bed, looking into each other’s eyes.
Aziraphale was looking at Crowley’s pale skin and the contrast his red hair made, and how lovely his eyes looked in the light… his eyes had just begun to wander across Crowley’s cheeks, he noticed soft brown dots that just barley showed up on his skin.
“Crowley?” Aziraphale whispered, his hand skimming across Crowley’s cheek.
Now, Aziraphale didn’t know this, but he had actually pulled Crowley out of one of his more darker moments and the sound of his voice calling his names snapped him back to reality.
“Y-yeah?” he stumbled over his words, coming back to the present.
“Do you have freckles?” Aziraphale asked tentatively, smiling at Crowley with his eyes.
“Oh, yeah… I thought I had those hidden,” Crowley mumbled, pressing his fingers together to snap them away.
Aziraphale rested his hand over Crowley’s. “There’s no need dear, can you un-hide them for now?”
Crowley was hesitant, his freckles were one of the more sensitive things he had and he didn’t know how Aziraphale would react to seeing him like that. However, this was Aziraphale, so maybe it would be okay.
His fingers snapped before he could finish worrying, the small freckles appearing across his face, spreading down his shoulders and his arms, and across his legs.
“Oh Crowley…” Aziraphale breathed, looking at him with total and complete admiration in his eyes.
“You don’t like them, do you?” Crowley mumbled, reaching to snap his fingers again.
“No, no! I love them! You’re gorgeous!” Aziraphale assured him, pressing a kiss to Crowley’s cheek. “I wish I could express just how much I love them too you, they’re a part of you, of course, I love them.”
Aziraphale’s hands glided gently down Crowley’s body, pausing briefly over the growing baby bump and resting there as he littered Crowley’s gorgeous skin with fluttering kisses.
Crowley’s words got caught in his throat as he watched Aziraphale happily until a thought popped into his mind.
“Hey, Aziraphale?” Crowley whispered, getting Aziraphale’s full attention. “Why don’t we go work on the nursery?”
“That’s a wonderful idea!” Aziraphale praised, rising to his feet and noticing their immodestly. He quickly snapped his fingers and Crowley found himself in a pair of red and black flannel pyjama pants and a loose grey t-shirt, and Aziraphale in grey sweatpants and a pink turtleneck sweater.
“Little hand here angel?” Crowley asked
“Oh Crowley, look at this adorable little snake! I forgot we bought him!” Aziraphale exclaimed happily, turning to Crowley with the snake resting around his neck.
Aziraphale and Crowley had made major progress with unpacking the furniture, assembling that that needed to be assembled, and going through the items they bought. It had been relatively fun, but some times Aziraphale would catch Crowley staring at his hands or at an object or his stomach when he thought he wasn’t looking. Now, was one of those moments.
“Oh, that’s great love,” Crowley mumbled, sitting on his knees, and staring at the little onesie with golden angel wings printed on it.
“Dear, I don’t mean to pry, but, what’s bothering you? I would like to help,” Aziraphale pleaded, sitting down across from Crowley.
“It’s nothing,” Crowley brushed off the question, continuing to stare at the onesie.
“It’s not nothing,” Aziraphale whispers, lifting Crowley’s head slightly. “You have that look in your eyes, you’ve had it all day.”
“Can I… can I tell you something without you hating me?” Crowley asked softly, looking Aziraphale in the eyes.
“Of course dear, anything. I could never hate you for something you tell me,” Aziraphale reassured him.
(( Trigger Warning ))
“Okay…” Crowley took a deep breath, “Years ago, they sent a new representative that day, from Hell that is, and he decided that since I was a single, alone and vulnerable demon who just happened to be in more comfortable pants without a shirt that I desired him to… he bred me. It was awful and horrible and I hate myself for enjoying it…”
Aziraphale swallowed, remembering how Crowley didn’t like people interrupting his stories and simply put his hand over Crowleys.
“...Over the next few days, I started feeling different, he would come by and use me every night… I willed myself so much for him to stop, for me to say something, for it to all be such a horrible dream, but it never was. After a while, I started thinking it was normal if that was what love really was and began to just accept whenever he came over. But then, I found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon with joy because I had always wanted kids, ever since I saw a handsome young angel watching the other archangel's fletchlings. I waited five days before I told him, I don’t know why I waited so long, but a part of me kept telling me to wait a little bit longer, so I did…”
Crowley paused and took a deep breath in and blew it out before continuing.
“...When he found out, he wasn’t as happy as I was. He… hurt me… punched me, kicked me, tore at me like I was a wild animal who had no more intelligence than your average rock… and then he left. After that, I never saw him again. He never came back for reports, or to use me, I didn’t even see him the last few times I’ve been down to Hell. He’s just gone… I ended up going to the doctor later that night because I was bleeding heavily, not a human’s doctor, the one they had for Hell back then. They treated me like dirt, but at least they treated me. The doctor pretty much spat in my face that I had miscarried, and at that moment it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but that moment was fleeting and not long I had gotten home, it all came crashing down on me…”
“...I know I should feel more guilty about losing the precious life that had chosen to live inside me for that brief time, but I can’t help but resent it and where it came from. I still miss the little one and wish I had known them, but a part of me pushes it down and locks it into a corner with the rest of the memories from then. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I had something and lost it, but there are some things I’ll never come to terms with… So angel please, please if you see me staring off, or just crying for no reason, it’s not your fault.”
(( You’re safe ))
“Crowley, dear, I may not have very much experience with something like this, but good heavens, I would never hate you for something like that. What you experienced was simply, oh how do I put this… human. You shouldn’t feel guilty over something that never should’ve occurred in the first place,” Aziraphale tried his best at reassuring him, pulling Crowley into a tight hug and letting his precious snake husband curl up in his lap.
There was such a long pause in their conversation, Aziraphale was half convinced that he had fallen asleep until Crowley spoke once more.
“Thanks, Angel,” Crowley whispered, letting a breath leave his lungs as the weight lifted from his shoulders. It was in no means a full magic potion that cleared his whole mind of grief, guilt and sadness, however, it felt nice for someone else to tell him that, and maybe he could let himself believe it.
“Of course,” Aziraphale replied, pressing a soft kiss to Crowley’s ear.
Crowley shuddered under Aziraphale, making him jolt away.
“That felt good,” Crowley mumbled out of shock, rubbing his ear.
“Do you… do you want me to do it again?” Aziraphale inquired, giving Crowley a deer in headlights.
“Maybe later, for now, let’s just finish the nursery,” Crowley gave him a soft smile, standing up and putting away the onesies in the dresser.
“Alright,” Aziraphale hummed, standing up next to Crowley and putting his hand around Crowley’s waist, drawing him in closer, Crowley’s small baby-bump pressing against his own soft stomach. “You know I love you, right?”
“Thank you,” Crowley whispered, kissing the knuckles of Aziraphale’s left hand, “For loving me.”
“Of course, I’ll love you till the end of time and then some more!” Aziraphale chuckled, lifting Crowley up and spinning him around the center of the room, making Crowley laugh with him.
“And so will I,” Crowley replied, as Aziraphale kissed his left hand.
They returned to unpacking the boxes and once they had finished, happily rested in the large chair, curled up underneath a mysterious black and white blanket that had somehow appeared in one of the boxes.
“Aziraphale, feel this,” Crowley breathed softly, taking Aziraphale’s hand and resting it over his bump.
Aziraphale paused his hand there, and his eyes sparkled as he felt a faint bit of movement underneath Crowley’s skin. He turned his head up to Crowley with a dopey smile on his face, making Crowley laugh softly and lean down to kiss his nose.
“You’re adorable, you know that, right?”
A hit to know what gender Crowley's identifying with is watching the pronouns in the chapter, they'll tell you what he's referring to himself as at that point in time. Also, I'm telling Crowley's gender from part of my own experience with gender, except he's quicker to let other's know his labels and what pronouns to use (for me I just don't mention it unless it's necessary or I'm asked).
Today's song... Lauren Aquilina's King! It came to me while writing this chapter when it started playing on my phone. It's in my mind a perfect representation of this chapter with all the ups and downs of the chapter and how much we get to look into Crowley's mindset and his own view on what has happened to him.
I am in no way perfect at writing rape, or miscarriage scenes, and tbh I don't really want to be because that would mean I'd have to put more characters through these horrible experiences. And for those wondering when/, if we're going to get an Aziraphale angst chapter the answer, is... maybe. I don't know what experiences he could have but I'm working on it, and maybe we might catch a glimpse of his past as well. Maybe. I make no promises.
Chapter 12: End of Part 1
Hey guys, it's been a while! I finally found the time to sit down and write this (the day after my birthday) because I got into a mood. I don't know if I hope you enjoy is the best to say for this though.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Crowley and Aziraphale had woken up in the armchair the next morning and had gone about their day, eating breakfast together, tending to Crowley’s plants, reorganizing Aziraphale’s books, and talking about anything and everything in between. It wasn’t until Crowley made a comment about how when they were in heaven all the other Archangels had mates and fledglings did the day escalate.
Aziraphale had shot up, wings opening wide in distress and staring at Crowley with a pained and disbelieving expression on his face.
“Do you honestly not remember?!” Aziraphale shouted, a pained look across his face as he looked at Crowley who was completely taken aback by the outburst.
“Remeber what?” Crowley spat, standing up in front of Aziraphale.
“HEAVEN!” Aziraphale roared with enough fury to set the heavens ablaze, tears pooling up in the corner of his eyes.
Crowley blinked, a breath catching in their lungs. They looked from the pained look on Aziraphale’s face to the widespread wings sprouting out from between his shoulder-blades and took a step back.
“No…? Should I?” Crowley floundered, desperately trying to remember.
Now, it was Aziraphale’s turn to blink and take a step back, well in his case, a step forward. He moved so fast and bundle Crowley up into a hug.
“I’m sorry my dear, I didn’t realize, I thought you were playing games with me,” Aziraphale apologized, hugging Crowley almost a little too tightly.
“Aziraphale, what do you remember from Heaven?” Crowley whispered, running a hand through the soft locks of Aziraphale’s hair that had started getting a little long.
Crowley could feel Aziraphale swallow from how close his neck was to their own, and they could hear the click it made as he did so.
“I um… I knew you in Heaven before you fell,” Aziraphale admitted, “Well, I knew you a bit more than that… we um, we were mates.”
In utter shock, Crowley put both hands on each of Aziraphale’s shoulders and pushed him back slightly so they could see Aziraphale’s eyes.
“We what?” they croaked, a small part of their heart twinging in pain and disbelief.
“I didn’t expect you to remember, but, it was a lovely spring day and Raguel had just had his first clutch of fledglings, I was in charge of watching over the archangel’s fledglings and I believe you were dragged along because he was bragging to you about how he found not one, but both of his mates before you had…”
Crowley was completely done with this conversation and wanted to go back to their stars, but alas they were holding a tiny fledgeling, cradled carefully in their arms and snuggled close to their chest that they had to help Raguel deliver to the fledgeling carer.
As the two rounded the corner, they came across the most gorgeous, radiant angel that Crowley had ever seen. Before him, a white-haired, blue-eyed, golden haloed angel stood, with the most heart-warming smile Crowley had ever seen, and all of a sudden, their mind was off of their stars.
She felt frozen in time until Raguel coughed beside them.
“Raphael, you have to pass him the fledgeling you know,” he commented with a knowing smirk.
“Oh right! Sorry,” Crowley apologized, passing the other angel the small fledgeling in his arms.
“It’s alright,” the angel smiled reassuringly, “I’m Aziraphale by the way.”
“I’m um… I’m Raphael,” Crowley stuttered, returning Aziraphale’s smile awkwardly.
“Well then, I assume my fledgelings will be in good care today? Mary will be picking them up later, so I’m going to be off. If you need a hand, call for Raphael, he’s always too busy with his stars anyways,” Raguel stated, turning and flying off.
“Well, um… it’s nice to meet you,” Aziraphale laughed nervously as the two fledgelings in his arms started to squirm and one nearly fell to the clouds below.
“I got her!” Crowley squeaked, scooping up the fledgeling before it fell onto the fluffy clouds.
“Oh, thank you,” Aziraphale sighed, “Do you… do you mind giving me a hand for to-”
“Yes!” Crowley agreed a little too fast.
“I um… thank you,” Aziraphale chuckled nervously, turning and motioning for them to follow him.
“And since that moment, you’d always come to give me a hand when you could, or if I was swamped. You were always so good with children,” Aziraphale sighed.
Somehow during Aziraphale’s story, they had found themselves sitting in the nest’s window sill, sitting across from each other.
“I didn’t remember that you should’ve told me sooner…” Crowley smiled, leaning forwards awkwardly thanks to his belly and kissing Aziraphale’s lips softly.
“I’m not finished,” Aziraphale chuckled, “After the first few times you helped me, the other Archangels kept getting you to take their kids to me for them. They knew that you and I got along so they hoped that something would start I guess… and in a way, something did. The night before you fell, we had spent the night under your stars and well… kissed… But, then you… you fell and I…”
“CRAWLEY!!!” Aziraphale shouted, tears streaming down his face as he watched Crawley tumble through the air, red hair coming undone from the braid that he’d put in last night.
It felt like the world had swallowed him up as well. All he could do was watch Crawley fall through the air with no aid and no one coming to his rescue.
He couldn’t take it anymore.
He ran backwards and ran as fast as he could forwards, spreading his wings. But before he could go over the edge, three sets of hands pulled him back.
“Aziraphale, you can’t. You’ll fall,” Gabriel warned him, trying his best to hide the sadness for the loss of his brother and stop himself from going over the edge to get him.
“He’s strong, don’t worry about him,” Mary assured him, pulling him into a hug.
“Trust me, we want nothing more than to go after him as well. But we’ll find him eventually. Maybe we’ll be able to turn him back,” Raguel suggested, joining the hug with Gabriel.
“But I… I can’t just let him fall… I love him!” Aziraphale sobbed, tears stinging his cheeks as he tried to move over to the edge again and jump off.
“We know. Trust us, we know,” Gabriel told him, letting out a sigh, “God better have some sort of a plan for this.”
Aziraphale didn’t answer. He was to busy watching the small figure fall farther and farther away, his red hair reaching upwards, knees tucked tightly to his body by his arms and his wings burning around him, turning black. Sobs ripped through Aziraphale in waves, and words caught in his throat. He’d never get his lover back. At least, not in a way he’d remember.
“Aziraphale, I…” Crowley started, losing the words before they left their lips as a sudden and small flood of memories came back to them like a light finally being turned on.
Memories of making stars, of opening their eyes for the first time, surrounded by other angels, when they first saw Aziraphale, of a time when the other archangels were nice to them, of helping Aziraphale with his charges, and… and the night they spent together before the fall. Aziraphale’s hands in their hair, the braid that he’d made, watching the stars, Aziraphale’s head on his chest, and their first kiss.
Tears pricked the corner of their eyes and Crowley moved forwards, wrapping their arms around Aziraphale, pulling him into a tight hug.
“I remember,” Crowley told him in a half-whisper.
“Crowley, don’t play games,” Aziraphale warned him, pulling him into a hug none-the-less.
“I’m serious Aziraphale. I remember I remember all of it. The night before the fall, the first time I opened my eyes in this world after God had created me, and our first kiss,” Crowley stated to him.
“You… You what? How?!” Aziraphale asked, lifting Crowley’s head up and looking him in the eyes.
“I don’t know, maybe it’s from you telling me about our past, maybe the almighty just thought I should get them back, maybe I always had them but they were so twisted and locked away that I couldn’t remember or force myself too,” Crowley rambled, trying to understand it himself.
“Crowley, Crowley look at me,” Aziraphale laughed, small tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. Crowley met Aziraphale’s gaze. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you remember.”
“Okay,” Crowley whispered, leaning forwards and pressing his theirs to Aziraphales.
Aziraphale took to the kiss like a fish to water, pulling Crowley onto his lap, and holding him by the waist gently. Crowley didn’t object, instead, putting their hands-on Aziraphale’s head, running their fingers through Aziraphale’s hair.
When they pulled back, they were beaming at each other.
“I don’t think we ever celebrated our engagement love,” Aziraphale whispered, getting a glint in his eyes.
Before Crowley could respond, Aziraphale lifted them by the hips and set them down with their back propped up by a bunch of pillows. Aziraphale settled nicely between their legs.
Crowley let a small smile creep onto their face, “What are you doing angel?”
“Well, I um, I wanted to maybe, eat-you-out, as they say nowadays,” Aziraphale admitted sheepishly.
A small laugh nearly escaped Crowley’s lips. With a flick of their wrist, their pants were gone and a pair of small lacy panties were the only thing (other than his t-shirt) that covered them.
“Go for it,” Crowley urged him, reaching down and ruffling Aziraphale’s hair.
Aziraphale smiled nervously at them. Carefully, he slipped off the fancy panties and tossed them behind them, blushing a little at Crowley’s vulva.
Swallowing back his nervousness, he leaned down, kissing his way down Crowley’s stomach towards their vulva. Gingerly, he pressed a soft kiss to Crowley’s clit.
“Come on angel, it doesn’t bite,” Crowley laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
A soft laugh escaped Aziraphale’s lips, hot air blowing against Crowley and making them shiver. Aziraphale ran his tongue up the entire length, and Crowley bit their lip. A small moan escaped their lips when Aziraphale took their clit into his mouth and sucked on it, their hand shooting down and resting on the back of Aziraphale’s head instinctively.
Another moan escaped his lips when Aziraphale pushed in two fingers, rubbing their clit with his thumb as he did so.
“Damnit Aziraphale, how’d you get this good?” Crowley teased, giving his partner a playful look.
“Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing,” Aziraphale chuckled, giving Crowley an apologetic look.
“Well, you’re doing a damn good job,” Crowley complimented, his voice squeaking at the end of his sentence when Aziraphale produced a small vibrator, turned it onto its first setting, and pressed it against their clit.
“Thank you dear,” Aziraphale smirked, bending back down and licking at Crowley’s vulva like a cat to milk.
He moved the vibrator down and replaced his fingers with the oval-like toy, turning it up to its middle setting and making Crowley squirm underneath him. He then took Crowley’s clit back in his mouth and sucked, gradually turning the vibrator up and pushing and pulling it in and out of Crowley, adding one or two fingers every now-and-again.
Crowley’s hands had Aziraphale’s hair pulled between each finger, pushing his head down.
“Aziraphale… if you keep that up… I’ll come,” Crowley managed between breathy moans.
“You can’t do that until I say so,” Aziraphale smirked, sitting up and turning the vibrator to it’s highest setting.
“Damnit Aziraphale,” Crowley grumbled, gripping the sheets underneath them, “Please.”
“Hm? Please, what?” Aziraphale hummed, sucking on Crowley’s clit a bit more before swirling his tongue in a downwards motion.
Aziraphale slipped the vibrator out and pressed it against Crowley’s abused clit, pushing his tongue inside, a now very wet, very close, Crowley.
“Please… please let me cum,” Crowley whined, pushing Aziraphale’s head down with a hand.
“Hm, only because you asked so nicely,” Aziraphale hummed.
That was all the permission Crowley needed. They pushed Aziraphale's head down with their legs as Aziraphale pushed his fingers back into them and came, right there. Soft pants escaping their lips.
“Thank you,” they whispered between pants.
“Of course,” Aziraphale replied, shutting off the vibrator and laying next to his partner.
“Want me to, you know, return the favour?” Crowley asked, nodding his head down to the tent pitched in Aziraphale’s pants.
“If you don’t mind,” Aziraphale admitted, his face going a little red.
“Don’t mind at all, it’s only fair,” Crowley smiled, shifting how they were sitting on the bed so that he was between Aziraphale’s legs.
For Crowley/Aziraphale's flashback, you might've noticed that Crowley was being referred to as she and then later a he, well this is partly to do with the fact that the first scene started with Crowley being a she and that in those particular flashbacks I referred to Crowley how they felt in those moments.
And this chapters song is; All I Want by Kodaline. Originally, it was going to be a song from the musical Dear Evan Hansen, but I thought that this one fit a bit more. I picture Aziraphale singing it to Crowley as an attempt to explain their shared past, or maybe it's Crowley after they remember. Who knows, it's up for interpretation.
Chapter 13: A message to all my readers
Dear lovely and sweet readers;
Bound, and with that the adventure of Aziraphale and Crowley through some very questionable shenanigans, will continue in a second book, Gifts. This book is yet to be released and is still in the planning stages, and may be pushed back for a while thanks to other projects, I’m working on a Fairytail book and my own original one, and personal life, however when it is it will be linked and this chapter will be deleted.
I know there are many questions left unanswered and certain things left unsaid, and those will be answered, hopefully. Keep your eyes peeled but your dinner reservations made, because I have no idea when this will be posted.
Sincerely the most procrastinating writer ever.