Actions

Work Header

Friends

Chapter Text

Sherry created the group Friends

Sherry added Jake, Leon, Helena, Chris, Piers and Ada to the group

Ada: sherry dear

Sherry: yeah

Ada: these people are not my friends

Leon: what about me

Ada: these people are not my friends

Leon: :<

Helena: yeah you really should change the group name

Sherry: but

Chris: call it six people plus bitch no one invited

Ada: mature

Sherry: but i did invite her

Piers: why

Sherry: she saved me

Jake: sorta

Sherry: what do you mean sorta

Jake: well i did most of the saving you thing

Sherry: i mean that one time in china

Sherry: you know what im talking about

Jake: when were we in china

Piers: you even know where china is

Jake: im still debating kicking your ass lapdog

Piers: at least let me buy you a map first so you can find china

Ada: are you selling tickets

Chris changed Ada to bitch

bitch: love you too

Leon: i can smell your scowl from here chris

Chris: wat

Helena: wat

Sherry: no

Sherry: no fighting here

Sherry: i made this group so we can all be friends

Sherry: and god damn it we are all going to be friends

Chris: no

Sherry: what do you mean no

Leon: uh oh

Jake: assholes about to be pouted to death

Helena: by a pixie

Sherry: im not a pixie

Helena: youre like one of santas little helpers

Sherry: take that back

Leon: you sorta are

Jake: cute

Piers: you are so messed up

Jake: says mutant boy

Piers: kiss my ass

Jake: youd like that wouldnt you

Chris: you wanna kiss his ass youll have to go through mine first

Leon: wat

Helena: wat

Sherry: wat

bitch: wat

Jake: dafuq

Piers: the fuck does that even mean chris

Piers: i am so confused

Jake: what else is new

Piers: go fuck yourself or your pixie friend

Sherry kicked Piers from the group

Chris: bring him back

Sherry: no not until he apologises

Jake: thanks sweetie

Sherry: he called me a pixie

Jake: wow okay

Helena: so did i

Sherry kicked Helena from the group

Leon: sherry

Sherry: i want apologies from every one of you

Chris: the hell did i do

bitch: me too

Sherry: okay chris ada and jake can stay

Jake: mwah

Leon: and me

Sherry: okay i forgive you

Chris: wait why him

Sherry: cause he was just following the crowd

Leon: yay

Sherry added Helena to the group

Helena: oh yay i live

bitch: lucky you

Leon: what about piers

Chris: add him back

Sherry: okay fine

Jake: fuckin dont

Jake: we can do without asshole junior

Sherry added Piers to the group

Piers: why

Jake changed Piers to mutant lapdog

mutant lapdog: i ask again why

Chris: why mutant

mutant lapdog: thats the bit you have a problem with

Chris: but the other bit is accurate

Chris: sorta

mutant lapdog changed Chris to asshole amnesiac

asshole amnesiac: that hurts

mutant lapdog: good

Jake: lovers spat

Helena: you sound jealous jake

bitch: pfft

Jake: the hell is wrong with you

Jake: sherry stop laughing

Sherry: sorry

Leon: but jake loves sherry right

Helena: thanks leon for the freakin obvious

Jake: i do not love sherry

mutant lapdog: denial

Jake: stfu

asshole amnesiac: denial

Jake: i dont

Helena: denial

Jake: stop

bitch: denial

Jake: not you too

Leon: sounds like denial

Jake: fuckin kick me

Sherry: i just spat my drink all over my keyboard

Jake has left the group

Chapter Text

asshole amnesiac: Chris

mutant lapdog: Piers

bitch: Ada

 

Sherry added Jake to the group

Jake: no

Sherry: cmon

Jake: not doin it

Sherry: pleeeeeeeeeeeeease

bitch: is the big baby still sulking

Jake: mot

mutant lapdog: the fuck is mot

Jake: rypo

asshole amnesiac: is he making typos cause hes crying

bitch: yes

Leon: making rypos

Jake: fuck off

Leon: mot

Jake: i hate you all

Sherry: cept me

Jake: cept you

Helena: can i apologise for leon being a giant manchild wholl imitate anything

mutant lapdog: but we all knew that already

Helena: true but im still apologising

mutant lapdog: apology accepted

Helena: seriously though im tired of babysitting him

Helena: take him off my hands

Leon: :<

asshole amnesiac: give him to bitch

bitch: how dare you assume i dont have a life

mutant lapdog: you dont

asshole amnesiac: cause you died

Leon: you died

bitch: yes i am a ghost

Sherry: shes not a ghost stop being idiots

Leon: you sure

Helena: yes leon

mutant lapdog: howd you get stuck with him

Helena: i wouldnt point fingers

mutant lapdog: point taken

asshole amnesiac: take that fuckin back i am amazing

mutant lapdog: skilled rockpuncher

Sherry: you seriously punched a rock

mutant lapdog: in a volcano and everything

mutant lapdog: it was incredible

asshole amnesiac: i did it to save a partner

asshole amnesiac: she was gonna fall

bitch: managed to save that one then

asshole amnesiac changed bitch to fucking bitch

fucking bitch: love you more

asshole amnesiac: go to hell

fucking bitch: already there sweetheart

Sherry: piers im changing your name

mutant lapdog: finally

mutant lapdog: make it something good

Jake: like head up captains ass

mutant lapdog: fuck off

Sherry: no i got something better

Jake: even better than that

Sherry changed mutant lapdog to BorkSAA

BorkSAA: god why

Jake: hahaha thats my girl

Helena: bork bork

BorkSAA: stop

asshole amnesiac: more accurate

BorkSAA: chris sometimes youre such an ass

asshole amnesiac: amazing ass

Sherry: got the most adorable puppo face

Jake: wait what

fucking bitch: youre worrying the baby

Sherry: just cause i wanna play with piers face doesnt mean i wanna sleep with him

BorkSAA: wow well okay

asshole amnesiac: this got weird fast

Leon: youre closer to piers age than jakes

Jake: stfu

asshole amnesiac: way to make it weirder

fucking bitch: we should get back to jakes love for sherry

Jake: god damn it no

Sherry: anything to unweird this

Jake: not that though

BorkSAA: yes that

Leon: please that

fucking bitch: were all dying to hear about you two lovebirds

Helena changed Jake to pixie lover

pixie lover: change it back

Sherry: helena im warning you

Sherry: three strikes and youre out

Helena: totally worth it

pixie lover: how is this fair

asshole amnesiac: punishment for fuckin off

fucking bitch: true

pixie lover: fuck you ghost

Leon: so she is a ghost

Helena: im getting tranqs

pixie lover: screw the tranq

pixie lover: chanfe me back right now

Sherry: what is chanfe

Leon: chanfe

asshole amnesiac: still crying

fucking bitch: big baby

pixie lover: sherry your keyboard fuckin sucks

Sherry: sorry its still sticky from before

fucking bitch: sticky you say

Sherry: oh my god

asshole amnesiac: why you using sherrys keyboard

Helena: what are you two doing over there

asshole amnesiac: jake you there

asshole amnesiac: taking silence as no

BorkSAA: helena did you tranq jake too

Helena: i wish

Sherry: you mean you really tranqd leon

Helena: sure did

Chapter Text

pixie lover: Jake

asshole amnesiac: Chris

BorkSAA: Piers

fucking bitch: Ada

 

Helena: tell us more about your rock

asshole amnesiac: seriously

fucking bitch: was it a pet rock

Leon: with a face

pixie lover: fuck hes awake

pixie lover: use another tranq he woke up

Helena: cant its too soon

asshole amnesiac: it wasnt a rock it was a boulder

Leon: but did it have a face

asshole amnesiac: no face

Helena: is that why you cant remember anything

asshole amnesiac: my memorys fine

BorkSAA: keep telling yourself that

Sherry: seriously what happened

Sherry: whod you try to save

asshole amnesiac: my partner i told you

Helena: was it the bork bork

BorkSAA: stop

pixie lover: is that why asshole junior types one handed

fucking bitch: one handed you say

Sherry: ada

Helena: jerking off

Sherry: helena

asshole amnesiac: can an octopus jerk off

fucking bitch: probably an expert

BorkSAA: im not an octopus you bunch of dicks

Leon: jellyfish

BorkSAA: not a jellyfish

Leon: squid

BorkSAA: enough

pixie lover: you didnt say no to jerkin off

Sherry: can we get back to the rock

Sherry: wanna hear

asshole amnesiac: it happened four years ago

BorkSAA: in the depths of africa where deals were going down for selling bows on the black market captain boulderfield and his partner busty were sent in to investigate

pixie lover: boulderfield and busty

asshole amnesiac: wait a sec

Leon: as busty as helena

Helena: shut up leon

BorkSAA: they chased ricardo montalban all the way into a marsh where they boxed crocs but ricardo managed to escape to the mines which were pitch black

Leon: were there ghosts

Helena: what is it with you and ghosts

Sherry: leon are you afraid of ghosts

Leon: no

fucking bitch: lies

Leon: okay im afraid of ghosts

asshole amnesiac: what is this alcoholics anonymous

BorkSAA: you would know

Leon: ghosts anonymous

Sherry: continue adventure

BorkSAA: so the chase continued through oil fields and on a big boat where ricardo turned into a wiggly whale until boulderfield and busty blew it up with guns

Leon: how do you blow up with guns

Helena: finally some sense from him

fucking bitch: itll pass soon enough

Helena: anything we can do to stretch it out

Leon: we talking about stretching

Helena: aaaand were back

Sherry: piers

BorkSAA: right

BorkSAA: boulderfield and busty win the fight and end up on a set from the lion king then venture deeper into a not umbrella lab and fight strawb jello with claws

Leon: strawb jello

Leon: can i have jello

Helena: god damn it look what you did

BorkSAA: not my problem

Helena: he wont stop until i get him something

fucking bitch: ill handle it for you

Helena: im sceptical

fucking bitch: i promise

Helena: well see

BorkSAA: after fighting lots of different flavoured jello they ended up facing off against crazy sunglasses and his barbie in a maze

asshole amnesiac: it wasnt a maze

pixie lover: crazy sunglasses

BorkSAA: also known as where is china senior

pixie lover: oh fuck you i know where china is

Sherry: he knows now i bought him a map

pixie lover: ugh

BorkSAA: barbie got saved but sunglasses walked away so slow that boulderfield coulda caught up

asshole amnesiac: i was pinned

BorkSAA: by barbie

asshole amnesiac: shes not barbie

asshole amnesiac: but yeah

fucking bitch: youre a bottom

Sherry: ada stop making this creepy

fucking bitch: nope

asshole amnesiac: how am i creepy

Sherry: i dont wanna think about claires bro bottoming

fucking bitch: yes you do

BorkSAA: then there was a boat

fucking bitch: with bottoming

BorkSAA: no just a boat

BorkSAA: i dont wanna think about it either

fucking bitch: yes you do

pixie lover: prob does

BorkSAA: im gonna think about your girlfriend bottoming instead

pixie lover: lets go asshole

Sherry: oh god why me piers

Leon: why not helena

BorkSAA: cause it doesnt piss jake off

Leon: ohhhhhhh

Helena: should i be offended

fucking bitch: yes

Helena: then i am offended

Sherry: please pick on helena instead

BorkSAA: if itll make you feel better

fucking bitch: helena stop being offended he chose you

Helena: my life is complete

asshole amnesiac: i dont bottom

fucking bitch: you do

fucking bitch: you go on top and youll crush with your muscles

Helena: rock hard muscles

fucking bitch: hurhurhur

asshole amnesiac changed fucking bitch to fucking fucking bitch

fucking fucking bitch: disappointed by your lack of originality

asshole amnesiac: i fuckin hate you

Leon: wait a rock got punched

BorkSAA: to save busty from falling into fire yep

BorkSAA: thats how he got the name boulderfield

Sherry changed asshole amnesiac to Boulderfield

Boulderfield: ugh fine i accept

fucking fucking bitch: could be worse

Leon: so they won

BorkSAA: they won

Leon: yay

Sherry: howd they get away

BorkSAA: teleportation

asshole amnesiac: are you fuckin serious

Helena: im pretty sure half this story is missing piers

fucking fucking bitch: no it was perfect

pixie lover: lost ten minutes of my life that coulda been spent on better things

fucking fucking bitch: nuzzling your little blonde friend

pixie lover: im makin a hit list

Sherry: you can nuzzle me anytime but piers story i might never hear again

Boulderfield: fuckin right about that

BorkSAA: whatd i do

Boulderfield: you totally storyblocked me

BorkSAA: i what

Boulderfield: i was gonna tell them what really happened

BorkSAA: but i made it more exciting

Boulderfield: you made it stupider

BorkSAA: i spiced up your boring ass version

Boulderfield: fuck you you werent even there

pixie lover: whyd you even try to save him

pixie lover: shoulda left him in the ocean

Sherry: no thats mean

Boulderfield: i dunno im starting to regret my decision

BorkSAA: you douchebag i only got this wiggly arm because of your fuck ups

Leon: wiggly arm like a squid

Helena changed BorkSAA to Squidward

Squidward: what the actual fuck

Chapter Text

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada

 

pixie lover changed the group Friends to Fronds

Squidward: i swear to god

Boulderfield: swear to poseidon

Boulderfield: dont you start roid ragin in your seat

Leon: raging squid

Helena: ohhhhh thats a much better name

Helena: i shouldve made it that

Squidward: i thought we were friends

Helena: you thought wrong

fucking fucking bitch: who gave jake power

Sherry: yeeaaaah that was my fault

Sherry: i made him mod and now i regret my life

pixie lover: mwah

fucking fucking bitch: least you know for next time

Sherry: i do

fucking fucking bitch: there will be many next times

pixie lover: up yours

Sherry: play nice jakey jake

pixie lover: dont wanna

Boulderfield: cmon jakey jake

pixie lover: stfu

fucking fucking bitch: you have pet names for each other

Helena: how pwecious

Leon: so whats yours sherry

Sherry: i dunno i think mine are pretty regular

Sherry: blondie

Sherry: goldilocks

Sherry: that kind of thing

Sherry: aw i want a better pet name jake

fucking fucking bitch: you make her cry

pixie lover: okay okay what would you like

Sherry: not pixie or santas little helper

Leon: wittle golden fluff

Sherry: yeah something like that

pixie lover: you shittin me

Helena: how about sherry werry

Sherry: that works too

fucking fucking bitch: jakes seducer

Sherry: ada

pixie lover: stop suggestin shit like that

Squidward: how about woman whos too good for you

pixie lover: fuck

pixie lover: and

pixie lover: you

Boulderfield: how bout national security but make it all caps

Sherry: thats so uncute not that please

pixie lover: lemme find something

pixie lover: you gotta stop squintin over my shoulder though

Sherry: okay

pixie lover: sit back down and ill do it

pixie lover: want it to be a surprise

Sherry: just show me now

pixie lover: sit

Sherry: im going im going

fucking fucking bitch: ;)

Sherry: stop

Helena: are you blushing

pixie lover: yeh

Sherry: i am not blushing

Boulderfield: back in denial land

Leon: where is denial land

Squidward: in the sky apparently

Sherry: im not blushing

pixie lover: like a tomato

Sherry: i will take away your privileges

pixie lover: shes not blushing

fucking fucking bitch: whipped

Sherry: its not denial land

pixie lover: im not whipped

Helena: this chat is denial land

Boulderfield: accurate

Leon: tomato

Leon: i am very hungry

Helena: shut up i know already

Helena: the food is coming

Boulderfield: youre like the king and queen of denial land

Sherry: only thing im queen of is this chat and i have kicking power

Squidward: of maybe a foot in front of you

Sherry: god damn it piers

pixie lover: everybody calm the fuck down

pixie lover changed Sherry to babydoll

babydoll: gasp

babydoll: i love it

fucking fucking bitch: congratulations jake

pixie lover: what

fucking fucking bitch: youre going to lose your virginity tonight

pixie lover: i dont even

Squidward: adorable

Helena: daw

Leon: its magical

pixie lover: ugh

fucking fucking bitch: remember to use protection

pixie lover: fuckin

pixie lover kicked fucking fucking bitch from the group

babydoll: thats it im taking your power away

pixie lover: im sorry ill stop i swear

babydoll: too late

pixie lover: noooooooooooooo

Helena: get rekt

babydoll added fucking fucking bitch to the group

fucking fucking bitch: i live again

Leon: yay no more ghost

Helena: someone speed up time

Squidward: you run out of tranqs again ill lend you some

babydoll: piers why do you have tranqs

fucking fucking bitch: you really have to ask

Boulderfield: fuck you piers

Boulderfield: you try that shit on me again i will throw you against the wall and watch you sticky roll your way down

Squidward: only do it cause you give me reasons

pixie lover: film this

fucking fucking bitch: yes you film this and i will be nice to you forever

Leon: i wanna see

Helena: everyone wants to see this masterpiece

babydoll: so many images in my head right now

Squidward: its not as funny as it looks

Boulderfield: it fuckin is

Boulderfield: im filming this and selling it worldwide

Squidward: christ practically all of the bsaas seen it already

Squidward: is that not enough

Boulderfield: i just like tormenting you

fucking fucking bitch: what the bsaa is all about

Boulderfield: you being nice was a lie

fucking fucking bitch: you havent filmed it yet

Boulderfield: touche

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada

 

Helena: he did it i cant even

babydoll: did what

Helena: leon

Squidward: need a bit more info

Helena: leon

Boulderfield: more specific

pixie lover: pretty wide area of stupid shit

fucking fucking bitch: tell us all your woes helena

Helena: he gets bored on the plane

Helena: specially when hes hungry

Helena: so i put on the tv for him

Helena: how was i to know it was disney singalong

Squidward: hes leaving you alone though

Helena: like hell he is

Helena: he wants me to join in

babydoll: what movie is it

Helena: what

babydoll: which disney movie

Helena: how should i know

Helena: why does that even matter

fucking fucking bitch: helena dear you need to cope with this the adult way

Helena: whats that

Boulderfield: whoring

fucking fucking bitch: ooh you got me there

pixie lover: seriously tell us

pixie lover: we all might need it

fucking fucking bitch: i think youd all benefit from whoring yes

Helena: i beg you share your knowledge

babydoll: be nice ada she begged

fucking fucking bitch: im always nice

fucking fucking bitch: but you did beg and i like that

pixie lover: she a dom

Boulderfield: prob

Squidward: images

Boulderfield: im changing seats

fucking fucking bitch: you have a hard on for me boy

pixie lover: jerkin off and now a hard on

Squidward: boy

pixie lover: you didnt say no to hard on

pixie lover: he got hard on

Squidward: i do not

babydoll: would telling leon that calm him down

fucking fucking bitch: about the boys hard on

babydoll: dammit no

babydoll: god dammit you all know what i meant

Helena: we really dont

babydoll: oh my god

babydoll: i was talking about leon and ada being a dom

babydoll: youre all so shitty sometimes

Helena: back to advice i need it

Helena: i must know

fucking fucking bitch: okay its alcoholism

Squidward: seriously

Boulderfield: wait it does work

babydoll: no dont turn her into a hobo

Helena: temp hobo

Helena: have to do something before i go insane and out the airlock

Boulderfield: to the bar

Squidward: thats not good advice

Boulderfield: sounds good advice to me

Squidward: you would say that

pixie lover: you got any more sleeping pills or tranqs

Helena: no

babydoll: please what film is it i have to know

pixie lover: youre a fuckin disney dork

babydoll: damn right its the best

fucking fucking bitch: whats your favourite film sweetie

babydoll: little mermaid

Helena: oh shit thats what leons watching

pixie lover: that asshat singin under the fuckin sea

Squidward: this is a witch hunt

Boulderfield: no it fuckin isnt

fucking fucking bitch: nobody really likes you

fucking fucking bitch: youre an egomaniac

Squidward: coming from you

fucking fucking bitch: im liked

pixie lover: nope

Squidward: see

pixie lover: hate you both

babydoll: dont worry i like you ada

Boulderfield: leon really likes you

fucking fucking bitch: dont remind me

Boulderfield: he wants you ada

fucking fucking bitch: for the love of javo

pixie lover: he wanna tap dat

fucking fucking bitch: i refuse to be tapped

Boulderfield: its gonna happen whether you like it or not

fucking fucking bitch: is not

pixie lover: inevitable

babydoll: wait everyone

babydoll: helenas been quiet for ages

fucking fucking bitch: is she drinking

Boulderfield: hopefully

Squidward: this is a bad idea

pixie lover: youre a bad idea

fucking fucking bitch: ooh burn

Squidward: oh no my feelings are hurt

Squidward: dick

pixie lover: asshole

Squidward: shrimp fucker

pixie lover: er no thats you

Boulderfield: accurate

fucking fucking bitch: this feels more like word association than verbal sparring

babydoll: piers i resent that

babydoll: but more importantly is helena okay

babydoll: we should ask leon if shes okay

fucking fucking bitch: please dont

babydoll: im gonna go get leon

babydoll: dont do any stupid shit when im gone

pixie lover: we wont

babydoll: jake im looking at you

fucking fucking bitch: you seriously want him in charge again

babydoll: hes in charge so you all be good

pixie lover: hell ye privileges

Squidward: mutiny

fucking fucking bitch: mutiny

Boulderfield: cant be assed

Squidward: traitor

pixie lover: 8)

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada

 

pixie lover: so basically the only people i liked are gone

Boulderfield: i saved you

fucking fucking bitch: because leon said so

Squidward: true

pixie lover: very true

Boulderfield: coulda left you there

Boulderfield: but i didnt and that means something

Squidward: you hate me and still you tried to make me leave

Boulderfield: that was different

Squidward: how

Boulderfield: cause

fucking fucking bitch: can you feel the love

pixie lover: are you drunk

fucking fucking bitch: god i hope so

Squidward: hope helenas okay

fucking fucking bitch: do you love her

Squidward: why does me caring about anything mean i want its ass

pixie lover: cause it usually does

Boulderfield: hurhurhur

fucking fucking bitch: hurhurhur

Boulderfield: we have some kinda respect going on ada and do i like it

fucking fucking bitch: yes

pixie lover: weird

fucking fucking bitch: yes

Squidward: are you automated

Squidward: youre like a robot

pixie lover: automated bitch

fucking fucking bitch: yes

fucking fucking bitch: yes to everything

Boulderfield: told you shes a whore

pixie lover: ada island

Squidward: god no we had enough of that before

fucking fucking island: ada island does have a good ring to it

Squidward: stop her

Boulderfield: nah

babydoll: okay im back

babydoll: ada pls no cloning

fucking fucking bitch: ugh fine

babydoll: wow

babydoll: no fights im amazed

fucking fucking bitch: we only fight when youre babysitting

babydoll: hey

pixie lover: its only cause we dont want you to miss out

babydoll: oh

babydoll: <3

pixie lover: <3

fucking fucking bitch: now take him in the bathroom and do things to him

babydoll: oh my god

pixie lover: dont you have an off switch

fucking fucking bitch: never ;)

Leon: hey friends

fucking fucking bitch: we have been through this leon

fucking fucking bitch: these people are not friends

Leon: but theyre my friends

pixie lover: fuck me did you say his name too many times

Leon: wat

babydoll: never mind that

babydoll: is helena okay

babydoll: whats going on

Leon: this plane has a bar

Leon: she found it

Leon: then banned me from it

Boulderfield: you enjoy the movie

Leon: yaaaaaaaaaaas

babydoll: leon get helena here im worried

Leon: kay

Boulderfield: everyone pucker your asses

Squidward: what is it with you and asses

Boulderfield: i chose one as my partner didnt i

fucking fucking bitch: damn son

pixie lover: who needs enemies

Helena: heyyyyyyyyyy

pixie lover: uh oh

Leon: tada

fucking fucking bitch: get yourself some tissues boy

Squidward: stop with that

Squidward: i do not require wiping

Boulderfield: you will

babydoll: helena you doing okay

Helena: havn th best time o y life

Boulderfield: you sure thats helena and not leon or dildo brain

fucking fucking bitch: which one is dildo brain

Boulderfield: thought it was obvious

fucking fucking bitch: but there are too many

Boulderfield: true

pixie lover: fuck you

Boulderfield: eyyyy hole in one

pixie lover: youre the hole

Helena: we talk bout holes i like holes

fucking fucking bitch: told you itd work

Squidward: you are so wrong about that

fucking fucking bitch: keep drinking and all will be well

babydoll: okay i think youve gone too far

fucking fucking bitch: which one of us and which part

babydoll: all of it

babydoll: its time to stop

Leon: memes

babydoll: JAKE YOU LEAVE THAT GUN RIGHT THERE

pixie lover: aw

Boulderfield: dayum all caps she means business

pixie lover: sure does

Squidward: whipped

Leon: like ice cream

Leon: ooh can i have ice cream

Helena: you have any you want lee

fucking fucking bitch: you were right i went too far

babydoll: leon you got to get the alcohol away from her

Squidward: without dying okay

pixie lover: dont try an take it away near the airlock

Leon: gotcha

Boulderfield: he can be trained its a miracle

Squidward: you sound like a proud dad

Helena: id like to make a dad outta you

Squidward: wait what

Helena: mmm you heard

babydoll: er

fucking fucking bitch: shhh just let them work it out

babydoll: but

pixie lover: shh the crazy bitch is right

Helena: let me love you

Squidward: um

fucking fucking bitch: do it

Helena: come n be my personal post it

Squidward: help please maybe someone anyone

pixie lover changed Helena to lush squid lover

Squidward: thats not help

pixie lover: its helping me

Squidward: im actually really scared now

babydoll: dammit i spat drink again

pixie lover: fuck sake i spent hours cleaning that piece o shit

babydoll: sorry jake

fucking fucking bitch: just as well youve got cute going for you

babydoll: true

pixie lover: yeah i guess

Leon: this is like a disney romance

Boulderfield: you right

Boulderfield: you should double date

Leon: yeah double date

lush squid lover: dont you fuckin dare start with the disney again

pixie lover: o shit shes sobering up

Squidward: thank fucking god

Leon: lemme sing for you helena like before

Leon: help you sober up faster

lush squid lover: it fuckin wont

Leon: no seriously it works they did tests

fucking fucking bitch: they do tests on you leon

Leon: yeh but thats a story for another day

lush squid lover: get the fuck away from me

Leon: come here im not done

lush squid lover: nooooooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

fucking fucking bitch: Ada

lush squid lover: Helena

 

Leon: :<

Leon: that was uncalled for helena

Leon: i am very upset with you

pixie lover: what are you a fuckin teacher

pixie lover: with the finger wagglin an shit

fucking fucking bitch: how would you know

pixie lover: shut up i went to school

Boulderfield: between the murder or the family funeral

babydoll: oh my god chris thats not okay

Squidward: but everything else up to now is

babydoll: thats going too far though

fucking fucking bitch: theyre right

fucking fucking bitch: were so alike my rock loving sweetie

Boulderfield: fuck off we are not

lush squid lover: leon you started it okay

lush squid lover: pls somebody change this stupid name

pixie lover: nah it suits you

Squidward: im gonna need therapy

lush squid lover: hey its not like i was in my right mind

lush squid lover: and my god you really know how to compliment a woman

Squidward: i didnt mean it like that

Squidward: also you were drunk

Leon: shes still drunk

lush squid lover: not so much

lush squid lover: the buzz is going

lush squid lover: this is worse than that time at college

fucking fucking bitch: ooo more stories

lush squid lover: fuckin no more

pixie lover: booooooo gimme more dirt

babydoll: you starting a gossip lounge

Squidward: a wat

Boulderfield changed fucking fucking bitch to Carla Radames

lush squid lover: fuck you i meant my name

Carla Radames: hmmmmmmmmmmm

Boulderfield: you ponderin death bitch

Carla Radames: no murder

Leon: no murder <3

pixie lover: deffo wants you carla

Carla Radames: never

Leon: never <3

Squidward: keep putting hearts at the end of everything leon

Leon: kay <3

lush squid lover: pls no stop

Leon: <3

lush squid lover: pls leon

Leon: <3 <3

lush squid lover: pls i beg

Leon: <3 <3 <3

Boulderfield: motherfuckin manchild

Carla Radames: please make that his name

babydoll: nooooo be nice to him

lush squid lover: never <3

Carla Radames: never <3

Boulderfield: never <3

pixie lover: never <3

Squidward: just call this group <3 <3 <3 sherry

babydoll: gaspo

pixie lover: o shit we went too far

Carla Radames: theres no such thing ;)

Leon: <3

lush squid lover: stop

Carla Radames: wait sherry dear

babydoll: yeah

Carla Radames: did you return jakey jake his admin priviledges

pixie lover: god fuckin damn

babydoll: i did but now i regret

babydoll: cause i know whats coming

pixie lover changed Leon to motherfuckin manchild

motherfuckin manchild: im sad now

motherfuckin manchild: im gonna go watch more disney

babydoll: which one this time

lush squid lover: no stop him

lush squid lover: pls think of my liver

pixie lover: fuck you never

lush squid lover: to the airlock

motherfuckin manchild: its aladdin this time

Boulderfield: fuck me in the ass

Carla Radames: reverse that and yes

Boulderfield: ew

motherfuckin manchild: ada no

pixie lover: ada yes

babydoll: jake

Squidward: im still scared

lush squid lover: me too

Boulderfield: make it a triple airlock jump

motherfuckin manchild: can i jump too

lush squid lover: fuck you this is to fucking get away from your disney fuckin ass

pixie lover: dayum helena you know words

Carla Radames: a rare quality in this group

pixie lover: oh go suck boulders dick

Carla Radames: yes sir

Boulderfield: dont you even dare joke she probs could get on this plane

Carla Radames: you assume i haven’t already

Boulderfield: o shit

Squidward: ugh

motherfuckin manchild: wait are you ada or carla now

motherfuckin manchild: also are you still a ghost

Squidward: christ

lush squid lover: thats it everyone out the fucking airlock im done

babydoll: wait we didn’t establish why leons upset with helena

lush squid lover: DONE

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid lover: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

babydoll: everybody cooled off

babydoll: no more airlock attempts

pixie lover: nope

lush squid lover: no i promise

Squidward: ugh

Carla Radames: only for fun and not death

motherfuckin manchild: me too

babydoll: dammit ada sometimes

babydoll: leon no its bad for your health

motherfucking manchild: aw okay

Boulderfield: not interested no

pixie lover: your fat abs fit out the airlock bud

Boulderfield: shut the fuck up baldy

Boulderfield: im not fat

Squidward: yeah its pure muscle

Squidward: have you not been listening

Squidward: its how he punches boulders

motherfuckin manchild: you ever punched the moon

Boulderfield: asshole

Boulderfield: shut up leon

Carla Radames: asshole you say

Boulderfield: ill kill you same way as wesker

Squidward: nice chris

motherfuckin manchild: volcano

lush squid lover: yep

motherfuckin manchild: i dont want that

Boulderfield: then shut up about rocks

motherfucking manchild: all rocks or boulders or the moon

Boulderfield: all rocks

pixie lover: pretend i didnt hear any o that

pixie lover: okay so you aint fat

pixie lover: helenas the fat one

babydoll: jake

Carla Radames: ouch

lush squid lover: excuse

pixie lover: youre excused

pixie lover: hey leon you break your arms hurlin that fatass across gaps

motherfuckin manchild: no im strong

Carla Radames: big strong boy

motherfuckin manchild: :>

babydoll: stop encouraging him or hell start coming onto you

Carla Radames: youre right

lush squid lover: you get over fighting with squidward that you need to come at me

Squidward: piers

lush squid lover: whatever

Carla Radames: this is what romance feels like piers so get used to it

Squidward: i wish i could disagree

pixie lover: yeh bitch i fight you

pixie lover: that jellyass is no challenge

Squidward: i could snipe your gm ass from fifty feet away

pixie lover: before the rubber arm douchebag maybe

motherfuckin manchild: is he like the wacky inflatable arm thing

babydoll: pffft

Squidward: i take back my airlock statement

babydoll: you cant you promised

Squidward: before you laughed

babydoll: i take back my laugh

Squidward: hmmm

babydoll: please dont airlock die on me

Boulderfield: you shoulda said that so long ago sherry

Squidward: you asked nicely so okay

babydoll: thank you

lush squid lover: huh i feel like my battle was too short lived

pixie lover: fatass

lush squid lover: there we go thank you

Boulderfield: why dont you grow your hair out baldy

lush squid lover: well okay never mind

pixie lover: fuck you i like it short

Carla Radames: as does sherry

pixie lover: yeah

pixie lover: i mean

pixie lover: fuckin goddammit woman

Carla Radames: ;)

babydoll: i do like it

babydoll: wonder how youd look with other styles though

pixie lover: what kinda styles

babydoll: like if you grew it out

babydoll: long sorta

pixie lover: wait thats the opposite of what i have now

pixie lover: you love me as i am or not

babydoll: i do but im curious jakey jake

pixie lover: fine

Boulderfield: yeah grow it out and look more like your dad

pixie lover: you piece o shit

Squidward: chris no thats just broadcasting the crazy

Boulderfield: true he doesnt need it

lush squid lover: too much context

motherfuckin manchild: afro

babydoll: oh my god yes

pixie lover: no

babydoll: pleeeeeeeeeease sweetie

pixie lover: fuck no

babydoll: ill do stuff for you

Carla Radames: atta girl

pixie lover: fine ill think about it

Carla Radames: excellent

lush squid lover: my god you are carla

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid lover: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

motherfuckin manchild: panda

pixie lover: the fuck you talkin about

motherfuckin manchild: we need a subject change

motherfuckin manchild: so changing subject

motherfuckin manchild: but also the panda

Boulderfield: wat

babydoll: please explain leon were all confused

Carla Radames: very

Squidward: wait you mean the one in china

Squidward: the kiddie ride

motherfuckin manchild: yeah that one

Boulderfield: oh

pixie lover: how dafuq you figure that out

Squidward: whale magic

motherfuckin manchild: whale magic

motherfuckin manchild: you know i speak whale

lush squid lover: knock it off quoting finding nemo

babydoll: oh my god thats such a good film

pixie lover: the first fifty times maybe

Squidward: that ride i couldnt get chris off

Boulderfield: shut the fuck up

Squidward: oh right we agreed not to talk about it

Boulderfield: i hate you

Carla Radames: why do you bring up the panda leon

motherfuckin manchild: wanna know if anyone else rides it

Squidward: huh

Squidward: thought it was just us

lush squid lover: nope unfortunately

lush squid lover: you have no idea how hard it was to get him off the damn thing

Carla Radames: thats what she said

pixie lover: same with sherry

babydoll: hey its fun

Boulderfield: can see why you and leon are friends

lush squid lover: they get along great and everyone suffers

babydoll: mean

pixie lover: everyone rode the stupid fuckin panda okay

Carla Radames: you ride it together boy

babydoll: we did

motherfuckin manchild: did you sing

pixie lover: no

babydoll: gasp

babydoll: we totally shouldve sung whole new world

motherfuckin manchild: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

Boulderfield: jesus christ

Squidward: are you two actually watching disney now

babydoll: no but i want to

motherfuckin manchild: i plan to

babydoll: streeeeeeeeeeam and invite meeeeeeeeeee

lush squid lover: are you high

lush squid lover: because ill go back to the bar

Boulderfield: you an me both

Squidward: alcohol is not the answer

Carla Radames: youre wrong

Squidward: and neither is disney

Carla Radames: youre wrong

Squidward: i give up

Carla Radames: wise

babydoll: what disney are you watching now

motherfuckin manchild: bolt

Boulderfield: oh yeah that looks like piers

Squidward: fuck you

pixie lover: you stick your head out the car window

babydoll: oh he kinda does

babydoll: thats adorable

pixie lover: sherry wat

Carla Radames: youre losing her boy

Carla Radames: get back on the rocking panda

babydoll: yessss

pixie lover: fuck no

pixie lover: thats not adorable sherry

pixie lover: so he looks kike a sog

Boulderfield: the fuck is kike a sog

lush squid lover: turn off the spellcheck

lush squid lover: turn off the autocorrect

pixie lover: i fuckin cant

lush squid lover: turn off everything

pixie lover: i caaaaaaaaaaaaaant

babydoll: keyboards not been right since the drink

Boulderfield: you already made it to the bar

lush squid lover: yep

Squidward: helena no

Carla Radames: youre scared of getting a hard on

Squidward: i am not

babydoll: lets invite claire

motherfuckin manchild: yas

Squidward: sounds good

Boulderfield: get the fuck away from my sis

Squidward: what

Boulderfield: fuckin creep i say no

Squidward: i just said it sounded good

Carla Radames: watch him hes trying for a threesome

Squidward: i am not i swear

lush squid lover: orgy sounds good right about now

babydoll: helena please get away from the bar

lush squid lover: no i want the good stuff

motherfuckin manchild: come watch bolt

motherfuckin manchild: that counts as an orgy right

Carla Radames: you are so precious sometimes

Boulderfield: wait you wanna get fucked by him or not

Carla Radames: my heart is torn

pixie lover: oh just get it over with ada

lush squid lover: distract him and get him away from the disney

lush squid lover: do this for me and ill stay away from the bar

Carla Radames: how much

lush squid lover: what

Carla Radames: how much to distract leon

babydoll: oh my god

motherfuckin manchild: whats happening to me

Carla Radames: its called manhood

Squidward: christmas is coming early

Carla Radames: and so are you

Squidward: sigh

Boulderfield: whatever the fuck you people are doing

Boulderfield: orgy and or disney

Boulderfield: you keep my sis outta it

Squidward: no promises

Boulderfield: FUCKIN

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

pixie lover: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid lover: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

babydoll: i made finger puppets

Squidward: is this for therapy

babydoll: mean

Squidward: im not being mean im genuinely curious

babydoll: oh okay

babydoll: its my desperate attempt to make you all get along

Carla Radames: only you and jake are capable of getting along

Carla Radames: if you know what i mean

Boulderfield: everybody knows

Boulderfield: everybody always knows

motherfuckin manchild: i dont

Squidward: is he finally self aware

lush squid lover: yes

lush squid lover: at least about this much

motherfuckin manchild: i am like skynet

pixie lover: good fuckin golly would you shut the fuck up

Boulderfield: good golly

motherfuckin manchild: miss molly

Boulderfield: the fuckety fuck

Squidward: helena can i call someone for your problem

lush squid lover: no one can help me

lush squid lover: you can stop all the viruses in the world but not leon

lush squid lover: the power of leon is unstoppable

motherfuckin manchild: true

Carla Radames: karaoke

babydoll: we should have a karaoke night

pixie lover: no

babydoll: aw

pixie lover: now gimme the puppet o you

babydoll: why me

Carla Radames: for the snuggles

pixie lover: yeah okay

pixie lover: i admit im going to snuggle the damn thing

lush squid lover: about time

babydoll: mwah

babydoll: okay here

babydoll: <3

pixie lover: <3

motherfuckin manchild: its beautiful

Carla Radames: with beautiful children

Boulderfield: cause we need more gm babies

Squidward: keep an eye on your kid

babydoll: babies

babydoll: oh god jake isnt breathing now

babydoll: you assholes

lush squid lover: jake have some drink

lush squid lover: drink problems away

motherfuckin manchild: heimlich

Carla Radames: mouth to mouth

Boulderfield: mouth to ass

Squidward: theres no mouth jake is just a giant ass

babydoll: stop pls all of you im worried about jake

Carla Radames: try mouth to mouth sweetie

babydoll: okay

motherfuckin manchild: you have a medic on the plane

Boulderfield: holy fuckin christ he had a moment of brilliance

Squidward: we should celebrate

lush squid lover: with drink

Squidward: in this case yes

Boulderfield: you fuckin asshole tellin me not to drink and then she can and being a goddamn hypocrite

Squidward: oh explode your biceps somewhere else

lush squid lover: pffft

Carla Radames: i would pay to see that

Boulderfield: you mean you spend your dollars on other stuff

Boulderfield: not just outfits

Squidward: food stamps

Carla Radames: i would not put it past my bosses to pay me in food stamps

Boulderfield: umbrella food stamps

Squidward: wasnt that what you used when you started the bsaa

Boulderfield: sounds bout right

Squidward: you and jill didnt even seem to pay me in that

Carla Radames: did jill pay you in sexual favours

Squidward: er

Boulderfield: BONER

Squidward: shut up

lush squid lover: is your boner blushing

Squidward: uggggh

lush squid lover: that is a yes

Boulderfield: second

pixie lover: shit fuck i am back

pixie lover: the fuck i got saved by sherry and leons advice

pixie lover: wat is logic

Carla Radames: kiss of life

babydoll: ada pls

Carla Radames changed pixie lover to Snow White

Snow White: you piece o shit

babydoll: pffft

Snow White: sherry

babydoll: sorry

motherfuckin manchild: are we the seven dwarves

lush squid lover: stop with all the disney

babydoll: we dont have seven

babydoll: whos our seventh

Squidward: claire

Boulderfield: i will melt your face off with the planes engines

Squidward: okay then jill

Boulderfield: you want to make love to fire cause ill arrange that

Carla Radames: we need to dig up wesker

motherfuckin manchild: i feel like hes never dead

lush squid lover: yes he is a ghost too

motherfuckin manchild: my god everyone is a ghost today

Boulderfield: the fuck you mean today

Squidward: temporary ghosts

motherfuckin manchild: yes

Carla Radames: we need to find the volcano

Carla Radames: bring back wesker as our seventh

Snow White: i fuckin hate living why did you save me sherry

babydoll: so you can snuggle my finger puppet

Snow White: oh yeah

Snow White: gimme

Snow White: <3

babydoll: <3

motherfuckin manchild: so children

babydoll: fuck not again

babydoll: dammit leon

motherfuckin manchild: :>

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

Snow White: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

lush squid lover: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

Carla Radames: is he breathing

babydoll: yeah

Squidward: unfortunately

Snow White: fuck you

Squidward: no u

Boulderfield: seriously

Boulderfield: i come back to this

Carla Radames: you knew itd be like this

Boulderfield: no

Snow White: denial

Squidward: youd know all about denial

Snow White: fuck you

Squidward: no u

babydoll: stop

lush squid lover: i have a request

babydoll: thank god

Carla Radames: do tell

lush squid lover: im not drunk anymore

lush squid lover: i want a name change

motherfuckin manchild: but helena is a beautiful name

Carla Radames: she means this chat dear

motherfuckin manchild: oh

Snow White: you fuckin moron

babydoll: jake no mean

Snow White: sherry yes mean

Squidward: i hope shes squinting

babydoll: you bet i am

babydoll: jake stop you cant defeat my squint

Boulderfield: talkin bout a man who always looks ready to take a dump

Snow White: the fuck

lush squid lover: getting off topic please

motherfuckin manchild: ill pick a name for you helena

Squidward: you sure thats a good idea

Carla Radames: nothing leon ever does is a good idea

motherfuckin manchild: true

Squidward: youre not supposed to agree

motherfuckin manchild: but its true

Boulderfield: most honest manchild in the world

Squidward: theres no reasoning with him

Snow White: you just figured that out

Squidward: fuck off

Snow White: no u

babydoll: stop

lush squid lover: im curious

Boulderfield: number one cause of death

babydoll: im curious too

Snow White: we really givin him that power

Carla Radames: could be worse

lush squid lover: if youre trying to put me off youre doing a shit job

babydoll: go for it leon

motherfuckin manchild: wait i need to think long and hard

Carla Radames: mmmmmm

babydoll: oh my god

Boulderfield: dammit woman that all you think about

Carla Radames: and more

Squidward: god

motherfuckin manchild: fish god

Boulderfield: poseidon

Squidward: really

lush squid lover: focus leon

motherfuckin manchild: kay

babydoll: how you doing leon

motherfuckin manchild: i made a list

lush squid lover: let me see

Snow White: share

Carla Radames: yes please share

lush squid lover: dont you fucking dare

motherfuckin manchild: um

Boulderfield: put this shit to a vote

Squidward: you comfortable doing that helena

Snow White: shes been drunk and come onto you

Snow White: so this is nothin

Carla Radames: his logic is sound

lush squid lover: oh fine fuck it whatever

motherfuckin manchild: i can share

lush squid lover: yes you can share

Snow White: get the fuck on with it

babydoll: jake

Snow White: what

babydoll: be

babydoll: nice

Carla Radames: show us your hard work leon

motherfuckin manchild: :> kay

Boulderfield: how many names you got

motherfuckin manchild: 6

motherfuckin manchild: 6 is a good number isnt it

Carla Radames: yes

Carla Radames: especially with the number 9

babydoll: oh my god stop with the corruption

Boulderfield: enough carla

Carla Radames: is carla a step up from bitch

Snow White: step down

Carla Radames: you wound me christopher

Boulderfield: fuck no its chris

Squidward: christopher

Boulderfield: fuckin stop this shit

lush squid lover: SHOW ME THE LIST

motherfuckin manchild: you like it

babydoll: share please

lush squid lover: okay put them out of their misery

motherfuckin manchild: like this

lush squid lover: my god not literally

lush squid lover: put the damn gun away

babydoll: the list leon

Carla Radames: disappointed

Squidward: enough with the murder ada

Carla Radames: isnt murder if it looks like an accident

Snow White: you learn that at umbrella

Squidward: no same place as your assassinating ass

Snow White: fuck off

Squidward: no u

babydoll: FOCUS

lush squid lover: thanks sherry

babydoll: no prob

motherfuckin manchild: so i got

motherfuckin manchild: hellypoo hell eeeeeena brownie

Boulderfield: fuckin what even

lush squid lover: wait read the others leon

Squidward: no don’t

lush squid lover: i have nothing to lose

motherfuckin manchild: i also got spongey and spongebobfan

Snow White: change it to fatass

lush squid lover: no leon dont

Squidward: too late

motherfuckin manchild changed lush squid lover to fatass

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

Snow White: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

fatass: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

Squidward: leon you mentioned tests

motherfuckin manchild: yes

Boulderfield: my fuckin god

Snow White: really

Snow White: we need to hear this shit

Squidward: im curious okay

Boulderfield: you nerdish squid bastard

fatass: im curious too

babydoll: you mean he never told you

fatass: no

Carla Radames: storytime seems a bit pointless

Squidward: how

Carla Radames: he took tests he failed

Carla Radames: end of story

Snow White: fuckin right

Snow White: can we move on

Squidward: but details

motherfuckin manchild: yes details

Carla Radames: we could talk more of your love story

babydoll: ada

Carla Radames: thats my name dont wear it out

motherfuckin manchild: thought you were carla

fatass: leon try to remember

fatass: you remember the little voice

motherfuckin manchild: yeh

Squidward: whats it saying

Boulderfield: could take a while

Snow White: tru

motherfuckin manchild: carla is ada

babydoll: leon try again youre almost there

Snow White: fuck no

motherfuckin manchild: ada is ada

babydoll: and

motherfuckin manchild: WAIT

motherfuckin manchild: carla is nickname

Boulderfield: tada

fatass: well done leon

motherfuckin manchild: do i get a cookie

fatass: raid the mini fridge for cookies

motherfuckin manchild: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

babydoll: hes never sounded happier

Carla Radames: easily pleased

Squidward: we ever going to get to the story

fatass: give him five

fatass: hes earned it

Squidward: fair enough

Boulderfield: who sent leon to tests by the way

fatass: hell tell us

babydoll: be patient

Boulderfield: why

babydoll: cause i said so

Snow White: kick

babydoll: no

Snow White: for me

babydoll: dammit jake no

Carla Radames: prove your love with kicking

Snow White: cant believe im sayin this but what she said

motherfuckin manchild: im back

babydoll: welcome back

motherfuckin manchild: thaaaanks

Boulderfield: you better not kick me now

Boulderfield: need to hear this

Snow White kicked Boulderfield from the group

babydoll added Boulderfield to the group

Boulderfield: fucker

babydoll: dont push it

Snow White: ooo im so scared

babydoll kicked Snow White from the group

Carla Radames: harsh

Carla Radames: i approve

fatass: wait add him back

Squidward: why

fatass: drive him crazy

babydoll: aw youre right

babydoll added Snow White to the group

Snow White: mean

babydoll: you were being mean

Snow White: no

babydoll: you were

Snow White: nope

Carla Radames: more denial boy

Snow White: no

fatass: just stop

Squidward: leon tell the story

Squidward: tell us what the test was for

motherfuckin manchild: my test was for rpd

motherfuckin manchild: coordination

fatass: you mean like puzzles

motherfuckin manchild: yeh

Snow White: you put square in the star hole

motherfuckin manchild: no triangle

motherfuckin manchild: realised mistake too late

Boulderfield: they still let you in

motherfuckin manchild: zombies made them short of staff

Squidward: staff

Carla Radames: accurate

babydoll: everything there is accurate

fatass: can claire confirm

Squidward: lets ask

Boulderfield: dont you fuckin dare

Carla Radames: your hand is in your pants

Squidward: no

Snow White: helenas pants

fatass: excuuuuuuuuse me

Snow White: excused

motherfuckin manchild: :<

Squidward: continue story

Carla Radames: yes continue this epic

motherfuckin manchild: triangle jammed

Carla Radames: where

Boulderfield: not where youre thinkin

babydoll: then what

motherfuckin manchild: so i shook and shook too hard

motherfuckin manchild: explode

motherfuckin manchild: everywhere in peoples faces and mugs

Carla Radames: mmmmmmmmmmmm

Snow White: god

fatass: they still took you

motherfuckin manchild: zombies

Carla Radames: can confirm i was there

babydoll: me too

Squidward: now just claire

Boulderfield: you fuckin stalker youre not allowed to use the phone ever again

Squidward: aw

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

Snow White: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

fatass: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

babydoll: pick helly a decent name

babydoll: she deserves it

fatass: helly what even

Squidward: let me do it

fatass: sure

fatass: i mean you cant do worse

Squidward changed fatass to Sea Sponge

Sea Sponge: er okay

babydoll: thats adorable

Boulderfield: somethins brewin over there

Carla Radames: can you stand up

Squidward: yes

motherfuckin manchild: yes to what

Boulderfield: shit he knows logic now

Boulderfield: hes learnin

Snow White: stop comin onto her jello

Squidward: fuck you i was doing something nice

Squidward: she was upset

Snow White: what by fatass

Snow White: i say so much shit an thats a nono

babydoll: apologise

Carla Radames: better do what she says

Boulderfield: yeh shell kick your ass to the moon

Snow White: fine

Snow White: sorry helena

babydoll: for

Snow White: for callin you fatass which you totally arent

Sea Sponge: thank you

babydoll: good

Squidward: crisis averted

Squidward: can we move on now

Boulderfield: you gonna kiss n make up

Snow White: kiss my ass

Carla Radames: thats called cheating

babydoll: tru

motherfuckin manchild: now they match

Carla Radames: thats what you wanted right boy

Squidward: i dont even have words

Boulderfield: do we need more romance

babydoll: yes

motherfuckin manchild: more kids

Snow White: fuck off with that

motherfuckin manchild: jelly babies

Sea Sponge: okay hating this

Squidward: ugh now im sorry too

Sea Sponge: not your fault

Carla Radames: somebody else is going to lose their virginity tonight

Snow White: im gonna fuckin murder you

babydoll: no murdering the assassin

babydoll: we need her

Boulderfield: shes died so much already

Carla Radames: yes

Sea Sponge: never shoulda asked for help

Sea Sponge: lesson learned

Sea Sponge: new names cute tho

Squidward: :>

Boulderfield: youre in there helena

Boulderfield: thats fourth base for him

Squidward: you piece of shit sometimes i swear

Boulderfield: swear to poseidon

Sea Sponge: stop with the poseidon jokes

Squidward: finally someone on my side

Sea Sponge: be more original

Snow White: ha you fuckin dumbass

motherfuckin manchild: octopus jokes

Boulderfield: oh hell yes

Carla Radames: can i start

Snow White: no youll make it weird

Carla Radames: aw

babydoll: i shouldnt wanna but this sounds like fun

Boulderfield: what dyou call 2 octopi that look the same

Boulderfield: itenticle

Snow White: whyd the octopus beat the shark in a fight

Snow White: octopus was well armed

babydoll: what do you call the place where an octopus is sitting

babydoll: octopied

Carla Radames: why did the octopus blush

Carla Radames: he saw the bottom of the ocean

Boulderfield: knew youd make it weird

Carla Radames: yes

Sea Sponge: what do you call a pie made by an octopus

Sea Sponge: octopie

Squidward: not you too

Sea Sponge: fraid so

motherfuckin manchild: what do you call an octopus with a hat

motherfuckin manchild: octopus with a hat

Snow White: dafuq

Squidward: end me

Snow White: ill do it

babydoll: shut up

Squidward: no let him

Squidward: no more

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

Snow White: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

Squidward: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

Sea Sponge: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

Sea Sponge: rip piers

Boulderfield: again

Squidward: asshole

Snow White changed Squidward to deadjellowalkin

deadjellowalkin: FUCK

Sea Sponge: rip jake

Snow White: squid bitch wanted death

Snow White: hes not fuckin dead

Boulderfield: ill kill him again

deadjellowalkin: kiss my jello ass boulder boy

Sea Sponge: boulder boy

Snow White: more like the thing

motherfuckin manchild: which ones human torch

babydoll: prob jake

Sea Sponge: tru

motherfuckin manchild: what about the other two

Carla Radames: can i be invisible woman

Sea Sponge: no i took it

Sea Sponge: give anything to be invisible right now

motherfuckin manchild: you know octopus can go invisible

babydoll: thats camo not literally invisibility okay

motherfuckin manchild: ohhh

motherfuckin manchild: chris he ever vanished

Boulderfield: what who

motherfuckin manchild: piers

deadjellowalkin: dont tempt me

Snow White: just lemme kill your bitch ass already

deadjellowalkin: just my ass

deadjellowalkin: hes obsessed with my ass

Carla Radames: who isn’t

Sea Sponge: gotta admit its pretty tight

deadjellowalkin: you girls scare me

Snow White: yeah youre wastin your time

Snow White: hes not into you

deadjellowalkin: why dont you jump into the airplane engines spawn of fucking satan

Snow White: no u

deadjellowalkin: i swear ill go on a murder spree

motherfuckin manchild: who you killing

deadjellowalkin: not you

motherfuckin manchild: phew

Sea Sponge: can you not kill anybody but jake

Snow White: fatass

Sea Sponge: nah jokes old

Sea Sponge: gimme a new name

Snow White: how bout bitch

Boulderfield: its taken

Carla Radames: mmhmm

Snow White: dammit

deadjellowalking: dumbfuck

Snow White: asshole you wanna redeath

motherfuckin manchild: redeath

Sea Sponge: what is that

Boulderfield: the hell

babydoll: nani

Snow White: no memes

babydoll: you dont tell me what to do

Carla Radames: thats her job

babydoll: yeah

Snow White: but

babydoll: nuh uh

babydoll: you get rid of that pout mister

Sea Sponge: oh no you diunt

Boulderfield: fuck he is whipped

Carla Radames: like cream

babydoll: NANI

Snow White: no nani

babydoll: :P

babydoll: god ive got so many images tho

Carla Radames: im proud of you

babydoll: nooo im sat next to him

babydoll: i cant look at him now

Snow White: gee thanks

motherfuckin manchild: is this the reverse boner you mentioned

Sea Sponge: ohhhhkay who taught him this

babydoll: not me

Boulderfield: nope

Snow White: wasnt fuckin me

deadjellowalkin: not me either

Sea Sponge: shit ada some self control seriously

Carla Radames: overrated

babydoll: restraint pls for me

babydoll: this is me begging

Carla Radames: dear you know i dont make promises

Boulderfield: cause youre a betrayal whore

Carla Radames: precisely

Snow White: general whore

deadjellowalkin: multi purpose

Carla: i am all

motherfuckin manchild: like god

Sea Sponge: shit dont say that to her

Carla Radames: hmm i like this

Boulderfield: fuck not again

Boulderfield: hard as shit killin last god wannabe

deadjellowalkin: into the volcano

deadjellowalkin: make it family tradition

Snow White: suck your own dick jello

motherfuckin manchild: wat is dick jello

Sea Sponge: nggggghhhhhh

babydoll: okay seriously

babydoll: everybody

babydoll: why is this how every day starts

Carla Radames: yes

Boulderfield: thats not an answer

Carla Radames: you have to squint

Boulderfield: i accept your logic

Carla Radames: at last

Snow White: fuck it

Snow White: into the volcano with pa

Chapter Text

babydoll: Sherry

Snow White: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

deadjellowalkin: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

Sea Sponge: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

motherfuckin manchild: jake how old are you

Snow White: why

motherfuckin manchild: curious

Snow White: not sayin

babydoll: hes younger than me

Boulderfield: wait you got a toy boy

Sea Sponge: shell be a cougar soon enough

Carla Radames: sherry i have newfound respect for you

Boulderfield: you fuckin would

deadjellowalkin: cant even

Snow White: fuck sherry

Sea Sponge: i totally read that wrong

babydoll: oh my god

Snow White: stfu

Carla Radames: mwahaha

motherfuckin manchild: can i be a toy boy

Carla Radames: yes

Sea Sponge: no youre too delicate

deadjellowalkin: keep him pure

Carla Radames: i like the pure ones

Boulderfield: keep him a good boy

motherfuckin manchild: am i a good boy

babydoll: best boy

motherfuckin manchild: yay

Snow White: how dafuq this even happen

deadjellowalkin: you answer leons questions is how

deadjellowalkin: dumbass

Snow White: no i fuckin didnt

Sea Sponge: to be fair you asked why

Boulderfield: all he needs is an opening

Carla Radames: ;)

babydoll: seriously ada

babydoll: ive been tomato all day cause of you

motherfuckin manchild: did you know tomatoes are a fruit

Boulderfield: christ

Sea Sponge: at least its sensible

deadjellowalkin: sensible

Snow White: you smokin the good stuff

Sea Sponge: i wish

babydoll: leon what else is a fruit

Boulderfield: sherry

Boulderfield: the hell you tryin to do to us

babydoll: but i wanna know

Snow White: fuckin nerd

babydoll: so what if i am

deadjellowalkin: you tell him

Snow White: fuck off to octopus hell

babydoll: leon please about the fruit

Snow White: fruit nerd

Carla Radames: sounds more like a piers thing

deadjellowalkin: hilarious

motherfuckin manchild: cucumbers a fruit too

Sea Sponge: it is not

deadjellowalkin: actually it is

Sea Sponge: youre telling me something that looks like dick is a fruit

Carla Radames: good fact

Boulderfield: you would say that

Sea Sponge: fruits are round

deadjellowalkin: helena sometimes i dont understand you

Snow White: wow i actually agree

deadjellowalkin: geefuckingwhizz lets start a club

Boulderfield: can i join

Sea Sponge: asshole

Boulderfield: cant help my condition

deadjellowalkin: what of being all ass and hole

Snow White: im agreeing with you again

Snow White: i dont fuckin like it its weird

Sea Sponge: backwards land

Boulderfield: i get the feeling you just called me fatass

deadjellowalkin: its both metaphorical and literal

Sea Sponge: college boy

Carla Radames: my best boy

Carla Radames: tell me what else is a fruit

babydoll: yesss more facts

motherfuckin manchild: you mean it

Carla Radames: mmm

motherfuckin manchild: that im your best boy

Carla Radames: mmhmm

motherfuckin manchild: yay

babydoll: faaaacts

Snow White: calm your tits supernerd

Sea Sponge changed babydoll to Supernerd

Snow White: fuck you dont change the name i gave her

Sea Sponge: possessive

Supernerd: im wearing my nerd with pride

Boulderfield: nerd pride

Supernerd: but yeah please jakey jake give me a good name again

Snow White: ughhhh okay

Boulderfield: like you need to be forced

Snow White: shut up

deadjellowalkin: are we going to learn more fruits or not

Carla Radames: only the dick ones

deadjellowalkin: no

motherfuckin manchild: avocado is a fruit

motherfuckin manchild: marrows a fruit too

Snow White: whats an avocado

deadjellowalkin: what the assassins guild didnt teach you that between making snow angels and killing innocents in edonia

Supernerd: god piers what

deadjellowalkin: what

Sea Sponge: heck of a list of assassin things you can fit between snow angels and killing innocents

Boulderfield: babysitting leon and disney singalongs for example

Sea Sponge: okay dont even joke about that

motherfuckin manchild: singalongs

Sea Sponge: here we go

Boulderfield: ignore him and itll go away

Sea Sponge: leon does not work that way

Supernerd: tru

motherfuckin manchild: singalong

Supernerd: later kay leon

motherfuckin manchild: kay

Snow White: you all suck

Snow White: i dont carry a fuckin pocket fruit book everywhere okay

Supernerd: but youve seriously never had an avocado

Snow White: no

Supernerd: ill give you one

Carla Radames: thats more like it

Supernerd: godammit ada

Boulderfield: hey you picked sherrys new name yet

Snow White: shit i got distracted

Snow White: fuckin leon

Sea Sponge: read that wrong

Carla Radames: thats my girl

Boulderfield: this is nerdville

Supernerd changed the group Fronds to Nerdville

Supernerd: hell yeah

Chapter Text

Supernerd: Sherry

Snow White: Jake

Boulderfield: Chris

deadjellowalkin: Piers

Carla Radames: Ada

Sea Sponge: Helena

motherfuckin manchild: Leon

 

Snow White: okay so

Snow White: i got a name now

Boulderfield: now youre no longer distracted by dick fruit

Sea Sponge: im never living dick fruit down

Carla Radames: never

motherfuckin manchild: never

Sea Sponge: leon i swear to god dont make me confiscate your pudding cup

motherfuckin manchild: noooooooo

Sea Sponge: then be a good boy

Carla Radames: best boy

motherfuckin manchild: i be good

Boulderfield: shit woman you told him

Supernerd: so whats my new name jakey jake jake jake

Boulderfield: too much jake

deadjellowalkin: one is one too many

Sea Sponge: piers you can be an ass sometimes

deadjellowalkin: yeah i know

motherfuckin manchild: if you know then why do you do it

Boulderfield: he had a moment again

Carla Radames: break out the champagne

Sea Sponge: dont give any to leon

Sea Sponge: ever

deadjellowalkin: im curious

Boulderfield: yeah lets do it

Carla Radames: you are both wise

Sea Sponge: when i say never i mean never

Boulderfield: killjoy

Snow White: okay here goes sherry

Snow White changed Supernerd to sweetiepie

Sea Sponge: awwww

sweetiepie: thats too cute

Boulderfield: tweetiepies more like it

motherfuckin manchild: is jake sylvester

deadjellowalkin: a stupid cat

deadjellowalkin: sounds about right

motherfuckin manchild: whos porky pig

Snow White: helena

Sea Sponge: wow a compliment

deadjellowalkin: weve been reduced to looney tunes

Boulderfield: not the worst thing in the world

deadjellowalkin: true

sweetiepie: stop please

sweetiepie: you know im a disney girl at heart

sweetiepie: dont make me a traitor

motherfuckin manchild: disney forever <3

sweetiepie: yessss <3

Sea Sponge: you doing this on purpose

sweetiepie: oops sorry helena

Snow White: i kinda want a name change

Carla Radames: say no dear

sweetiepie: hmm

Sea Sponge: youll always be our snow white

Snow White: fuck off fatass

Snow White: sherry please

Boulderfield: you know please

deadjellowalkin: full of surprises

Carla Radames: im shocked

sweetiepie: i am too

Snow White: i swear sometimes

motherfuckin manchild: its cause you love her

Carla Radames: love her long time

sweetiepie: i ask again stop

Snow White: im changing this fuckin convo

Sea Sponge: you can try

Boulderfield: cant stop hurricane leon

motherfuckin manchild: can i be a hurricane

deadjellowalkin: you mean hurricane singalong

motherfuckin manchild: gasp

Sea Sponge: i hate you all

Sea Sponge: hes bouncing in his seat now

Sea Sponge: im getting shockwaves

Carla Radames: tell me more

Snow White: let me fuckin change the subject god fucking damn it

Boulderfield: nah

sweetiepie: dont pout

sweetiepie: you dont look cute

Snow White: fine

Snow White: so how bout it sherry

sweetiepie: what

Snow White: name change

sweetiepie: nope

Snow White: please

Boulderfield: shit man he said it again

deadjellowalkin: sherrys rubbing off on him

Carla Radames: you bet she is

Sea Sponge: like a kitty cat

sweetiepie: you know youre our snow white

sweetiepie: it stays

Snow White: i fuckin hate disney

sweetiepie: jake youre such a liar

motherfuckin manchild: jake no

Sea Sponge: its okay leon jakes just lying

motherfuckin manchild: good

Carla Radames: he condones lying

Carla Radames: our boy is growing up

Sea Sponge: its just an illusion

Boulderfield: sherry ground jake

deadjellowalkin: on a plane

Boulderfield: yeah

deadjellowalkin: im taking your jd

Boulderfield: no its making me happy

Sea Sponge: that too is an illusion

sweetiepie: i could confine him to his room

Snow White: please no

deadjellowalkin: sherry did you teach him please

deadjellowalkin: cause i think hes overdoing it

Sea Sponge: jake could you swear to get things back to normal

Snow White: fuck you

Sea Sponge: ah thats better