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not about love

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The first time Yoongi saw Taehyung was at a frat party. For some reason he agreed to go with Jungkook to a frat party.

Jungkook, who doesn't even like all that shit. Jungkook, who is a fucking unsociable loser who only cares about anime and shitty misanthropic philosophers. He's a wholeass existentialist nerd, but he's also too beautiful for his own good. And that's exactly why he's been hanging out with the frats; he started dating Park Jimin last semester.

Jimin is not a frat boy, but he's friends with a bunch of those dickheads, and he's very popular for some reason. Yes, apparently the whole 'popularity' thing is not something you forget about when you graduate high school. Yoongi wouldn't know, because he doesn't necessarily keep up with those kind of things. He just knows that Jimin is Jungkook's new boyfriend, that's it.

And now his roommate and only friend hangs out with the popular kids. Nice. Yoongi doesn't even know how they started dating, or talking, for that matter. Maybe Jimin likes anime too, or he's shallow and he's only dating Jungkook for his looks, who knows.


When he got there, Jimin ran into his arms enthusiastically, he kissed his cheek and led him to where Jungkook was with a group of people. Yoongi knows some of them from classes they probably don't know they share.

He tried to be positive, maybe he could meet a nice guy at the party, or make some friends.

Good expectations.

But in reality, the party would suck like all the parties he's ever attended, Yoongi knows. People too loud, too drunk.

"Hey guys, this is my friend Yoongi," Jungkook introduced him to the group. Thankfully, Jimin was holding his hand and Yoongi felt safe, somehow; not too exposed. Jimin does that a lot, he's clingy, always holding his hand or hugging him or fixing his hair, and they have met like three times.

"Yoongi, these are Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok Taemin, Taehyung and Baekhyun. They're all in the football team so you probably have heard of them, or not because football is boring as fuck," he jokes, he jokes. Jungkook. Jokes. Who is this person?

"And the ladies; Jennie and Rosé," Jimin adds, pointing at each one of them.

They all greeted him. Seokjin hugged him, actually, because he was very drunk, and Jennie recognized him from Sociology class, so maybe he's not so invisible after all.

They all looked like people who belong to fraternities, even Jungkook, which is not something very interesting, in Yoongi's opinion. They also looked like they're too cool to want to befriend someone like Yoongi. Whatever.

And after that, all Yoongi did was basically stare at them while they got drunk and had fun.

He went outside for a smoke at least three times. And then he decided it was time to go home; he was tired and he was feeling like a loser. He went to the kitchen for a glass of water. He only found a red plastic cup, whatever, he filled the cup and drank.

When he was ready to go, he accidentally ran into some dude who was pouring himself a drink. "Shit, sorry," Yoongi said.

"No worries," said the guy, offering a bright smile. And Yoongi recognized him. He's one of Jungkook's new friends; Taehyung.

Yoongi apologized again and then he noticed how Taehyung shamelessly eyed him from head to toe, licking his lower lip and all. It did make him feel a bit nervous and self-conscious, but definitely not especial; Yoongi had seen him earlier dancing with a guy, and then making out with a different guy. Proper slut, Yoongi supposes.

Taehyung's very handsome though; ridiculously attractive, but he gives off such a douchy energy that Yoongi knew the dude must be full of himself. He's probably one of those guys who always get what they want; that's why he's so confident, that's why he was looking at Yoongi like that.

He looks like a straight guy, and that doesn't make sense, Yoongi knows, because one shouldn't assume those kind of things. In fact, straight people do that all the time; they assume people's sexuality, and it's just ignorant. But Yoongi can't explain this thing about Taehyung, he just looks like a straight guy, so it was a bit surprising when Yoongi saw him earlier with those guys. Maybe he used to act very manly before he came out or something, which, again, it's a very dumb thought because it's not like gay guys should act in a certain way, it's not even about that, it's just something about Taehyung and all the frat boys Yoongi has ever met; they're just homophobic assholes. But Yoongi shouldn't stereotype them, that's ignorant too, and unfair.

"Do you want a drink?" Taehyung asked then, interrupting Yoongi' inner monologue.

"No, thanks. I'm- I'm leaving, actually." Yoongi said, nervously fixing his hair.

"Really?" Taehyung frowned. "It's early." His voice deep and sexy, and he wasn't even saying something sexual.

It was actually 2 AM; definitely not early according to Yoongi, but it probably was early for the rest.

"Yeah, I- I'm not feeling very well, so yeah." He felt like a loser, Taehyung probably saw him alone all night, the rest of the group probably noticed too. Yoongi was sure they all thought the same; that he lacks social skills or some shit, and maybe they'll talk about it later and Jungkook would say something like, when you get to know him you realize he's just shy and he's not a weirdo. It's even embarrassing to imagine Jungkook, out of all people, saying that.

"Okay. See you around, I guess," Taehyung said unconcerned.

Yoongi nodded and walked pass him, feeling Taehyung's eyes glued to his back, or probably to his ass.


Yoongi woke up the next morning thanks to a phone call at 9 AM. Naturally, Jungkook woke up too. He grunted.

"I got the job," Yoongi told him, after finishing the call.

He has to thank Jungkook for this job, actually. The 'squad', as Jungkook calls his new group of popular friends, usually hangs out there and that's how Jungkook found out they were hiring. Apparently, they really need people because he starts that same day, if it's okay with you, of course we will pay you extra hours for starting with such short time notice, the manager told him.


"Yeah, thanks," Yoongi sighs, "I can't wait to go and cry during my lunch breaks."

"So dramatic," Jungkook chuckles.


Later that day, the squad hangs out at Pizza Planet, as usual.

That's the second time Yoongi sees Taehyung.

Yoongi takes their orders and then goes to clean the tables and busy himself until the food is ready. The guys greeted him cheerfully, and Jimin kissed him on the cheek as always. And, not that he cares, but Taehyung barely even looked at him. Yoongi feels stupid because it was kind of exciting last night, the way Taehyung looked at him.

Now, Taehyung probably doesn't even remember that they talked for like two seconds last night.

Whatever. Honestly, Yoongi doesn't care, it's just the way Taehyung looked at him last night made him feel... wanted, or something. Yoongi is not sure what it is. He's just way too sexually frustrated and even a tiny bit of attention makes him go all crazy. Whatever.


"So what's the deal with Nice Ass over there?" Taehyung asks, pointing at Yoongi. All the group looks at the same time, not subtle at all. Luckily, Yoongi is not facing them.

"What d'you mean?" Jungkook questions, genuinely confused.

"I don't know. He's your roommate, isn't he?"

"And what about it? What d'you mean 'his deal'?" Jungkook asks, air quoting.

"Like, he- I don't know. He's not like your other friends, he- I don't know, man," Taehyung shrugs.

"He's actually my only friend, so I really don't get your point."

"What's his name again?" Namjoon asks. "He left early last night."

"Yoongi," Jungkook tells him, then turns and looks at Taehyung again, "what about him?"

Taehyung seems frustrated, and he doesn't really know what he's asking. "I don't know, like, he was obviously not having fun at all last night," he says as Jimin takes his place on Jungkook's lap again. "He was, like, he left early like he's too cool for that shit, I don't know," he snorts, "I bet he's a pretentious bitch."

"Who's a pretentious bitch?" Jimin asks, joining the conversation.

"Nice Ass, over there," Taehyung says, just as Yoongi conveniently bends over the table he's cleaning; proving Taehyung's point about his ass. It's not a big ass, per se, it's just a nice ass.

"Oh, Yoongi? What? No! He's the sweetest angel!" Jimin says, with literal heart eyes. "What are you talking about? He's an angel, you're a dumb bitch," he jokes.

"Let me guess," Jungkook smirks, "you tried to hit on him and he rejected you or something."

"I didn't," Taehyung laughs, "I tried to be friendly, I guess."

"Yeah, sure," Seokjin says knowingly, and the rest laugh.

"Anyway, he's a nice guy," Jungkook says.

"And he's so beautiful! Oh my god, I would totally fuck him," Jimin says, "I mean like, invite him to have sex with us," he adds, and they all laugh.

"That sounds hot, babe," Jungkook says.

"You horny fuckers!" Namjoon shouts, shaking his head, "you guys are so sex-obsessed. All of you."

"Oh c'mon! He's gorgeous, so delicate. Look at him," Jimin pouts, "you're lying if you say you wouldn't fuck him," he says looking at Jungkook like it's something they had talked about before, and that's kinda hot, Taehyung must admit. Jimin and Jungkook are really horny bastards and Taehyung's pretty sure that's the only thing they have in common.

"What about you?" Jimin asks then, looking at Taehyung challenging, "you already said  that you think he's got a nice bum."

Taehyung just smirks and sips his drink.


The third time Yoongi sees Taehyung is a week later at the frat house once again.

This time, he's all spread and moaning while Taehyung pounds into him, groaning and sucking desperately on his neck. Yoongi is pinned on Taehyung's bed while he fucks him roughly.

How did that even happen?

Somehow he ended up at the frat house again, not because Jungkook casually mentioned that Taehyung thinks he's got a nice ass, though. That's unrelated.

He was kinda drunk this time, maybe he drank because he was nervous; he's the kind of person that gains confidence when drunk. So, this time he ended up spinning the bottle and making out with a random girl, a random boy and with Hoseok. Then it was Taehyung's turn and the bottle pointed at Yoongi. That's how it all started.

Taehyung kissed him filthy and hot, firmly cupping his face with big, strong hands; his tongue literally inside of Yoongi's mouth, insistent and arousing, until a moan escaped Yoongi's mouth. In front of everybody. Taehyung sucked Yoongi's lower lip and bit it lightly one more time before pulling away smirking. Yoongi was blushing, he was breathless and he had to excuse himself and go to the bathroom. He stayed there until his heartbeats went back to normal, and when he came out, Taehyung was there waiting for him.

And Yoongi saw it in his eyes before Taehyung asked, and he knew he was going to say yes.

Taehyung looked at him, "wanna go upstairs?"

Yoongi just nodded and followed him.


And now he's naked on Taehyung's bed, with drying come on his stomach, feeling used and pathetic.

Taehyung made him come less than five minutes ago and left him there. He just picked up his clothes and went to the bathroom. Yoongi didn't even notice there was a bathroom in here, and that's because Taehyung was on him as soon as he closed the door, kissing him and grabbing his ass. He got him naked and fingered him until he came. Then he fucked him and made him come again.

When Taehyung came out of the bathroom, dressed and clean, he barely looked at Yoongi when he said, see you downstairs. And that was it. Like nothing.

Now Yoongi feels like crying. And it's stupid because he knew what this meant to Taehyung before he had his cock in him. He knew it was just a quick fuck to Taehyung. But he never thought he would feel so small, so humiliated.

Now he's walking downstairs, limping, for fuck's sake, and the first thing he sees is Taehyung drinking and laughing. Like nothing. Kissing a girl, like nothing. And that's new; he didn't know Taehyung was into girls too. Maybe he should have guessed though. Those were the straight vibes he gave off when Yoongi first met him, Yoongi thinks bitterly.

He's there having fun, and Yoongi wants to cry because it was so good and it meant nothing to Taehyung. Yoongi is probably gonna feel him for a week and to Taehyung was just a quick fuck.

Fuck. It's been a while since last time Yoongi had sex, he didn't even mentioned that to Taehyung, he just let him fuck him hard. And it kinda hurt but he was so horny, so needy that he didn't care. It hurt so good.


"As your friend I feel compelled to tell you that Taehyung is an absolute whore, so don't get your hopes up," Jungkook tells him next morning.

Great, they all know, of course they all know. They weren't even subtle, it was so obvious they were going to fuck when they went upstairs. Yoongi was too horny to care in that moment, and Taehyung probably doesn't care at all. But right now, sober Yoongi cares, because he's gonna have to see them at Pizza Planet almost everyday.

"Okay, whatever," Yoongi acts nonchalant, "it was a one time thing. I don't know him, I'm not interested."

"I'm just saying. Like, he's kind of a douche when it comes to that."

"Uh, okay, Jungkook. I don't like him, he has an ugly Spider-Man tattoo on his stomach, huge turn off," Yoongi says and cringes at his own words. That's such a random, fucking stupid thing to say. He just lives to embarrass himself.

"Huh?" Jungkook snorts. "Ok, I'm just saying."


The fourth time Yoongi sees Taehyung is at Pizza Planet, as predicted. It's 9 PM and the squad is here. Taehyung looks different, he looks sleepy and soft, he's wearing a hoodie that looks kind of big on him. He looks like a boyfriend. Like boyfriend material.

Fuck, this is why Yoongi can't have casual sex; he just doesn't know how to keep it casual. It's embarrassing, he wants to hide in his bedroom forever. Besides, he knows damn well that Taehyung isn't boyfriend material; Taehyung's quite literally the opposite of boyfriend material.

"Lisa, would you do me a favor?" He asks to his coworker. "Can you please take that order?" He says pointing at the table.

"Isn't he your friend?" She frowns, "Jimin's boyfriend? Joonhyun?"

"Jungkook," he corrects. "Yeah, he's my friend." Fuck it, he thinks. "It's just- There's a guy I slept with there, y'know, I don't want him to see me."

"Really? Who was it?" She asks way too excited, "tell me who and I'll go."

Yoongi sighs. "The tall one, black hoodie."

"Taehyung? No way! Did you actually?"

Of course she knows him. "Ugh, can you please go and take the order?"

"Okay, but you have to tell me everything. I want details, like, dick-size details," she says grinning. "Jisoo will die when I tell her!"

"Why? Don't tell her, I'm new here, I want to make a good impression with my coworkers. I don't even know her, I don't even know you that much."

"She had a crush on Tae, but don't worry, she's over that now. But tell her he's got a small dick anyway, to make her feel better."

"He doesn't," Yoongi sighs, reminiscing.

"I knew it! I can see it in your face Min Yoongi, I can see-"

"Can you please go!"


"I honestly can't believe this! He's such a fuckboy though." Jisoo says. "That's why I decided to get over him without even trying."

"That's what I've heard." Yoongi says, pouting.

"Wait, do you like him?" Lisa asks with wide eyes.

"Eh- I- no, no. It was a one time thing."

"That's not what I asked."

"That's not what she asked." Jisoo adds too.

"Jesus," Yoongi sighs, "I don't know, I don't really know him."

"You do like him!" Lisa accuses.

"Listen, I haven't even- I don't know, we- we haven't even had, like, a proper conversation."

"Was it good?" Jisoo asks, conversationally.

"Jisoo! Don't ask him that! That's private, what the fuck."

"You wanted to know too," Yoongi points out.

"I'm sure it was good," Jisoo wiggles her brows and laughs.

Yoongi doesn't even know why she talks about it so lightly, like they're close friends. This is Yoongi's second week working here; she probably doesn't even know his full name and she's asking about how good was getting fucked by a fratboy.

But that's actually a good thing, Yoongi thinks. Jisoo and Lisa are super sweet and funny, and it feels good to have other people to talk to; he doesn't have any friends, only Jungkook, which is fucking depressing.

"Anyway, I heard them talking about a party at the frat, tomorrow. Are you going? Can Jisoo and I go with you?"

No way. "No way!"

"What? C'mon! Please, Yoongi," she pouts, "let's have fun! We're fucking stressed."


And here he is, once again at the frat house.

This time, he's soaked in beer since the lovely girl Taehyung's been making out with all night accidentally spilled her cup on him and Seokjin. Of course Seokjin didn't care and he just took off his t-shirt. Taehyung didn't notice the other soaked in beer was Yoongi, he probably didn't even know Yoongi was at the party, so when he saw him, his worried face changed to a smirk.

"I'm so sorry!" The girl says.

"Nah, don't worry, love," Seokjin says, "now I have an excuse to get naked in front of y'all."

Yoongi is making a face, he's seriously considering running out and never come back to this shit hole. Deep down he knows he came here for one reason. He probably has some kind of humiliation kink or some shit, or simply not dignity at all. What was he thinking coming here tonight?

"You can borrow one of my shirts, mate," Taehyung says, "you know where my room is," he adds, shamelessly smug. Yoongi blushes furiously. And the rest laugh.

What the fuck.

Taehyung obviously said that to brag, because all his friends here know that they fucked. That's so gross, so degrading.

But Yoongi goes upstairs anyway, because he's got no dignity, that's for sure now.

Taehyung's bedroom smells good, too good. Yoongi can't help but think about the last time he was in here. Like he hasn't been wanking to that memory for the past week. Like he hasn't been dreaming about Taehyung's cock when he fingers himself. About Taehyung on top of him, kissing him. About Taehyung's mouth on his neck. About Taehyung's deep voice grunting obscenely to his ear. About Taehyung's huge cock inside him. About Taehyung's skin covered in sweat, covered in ugly tattoos too, fuck, Yoongi doesn't even like tattoos. He feels so pathetic.


Yoongi is naked and panting on Taehyung's bed, again. Waiting for Taehyung to come out of the bathroom just like last time.

He wonders if Taehyung even knows his name, or if he's like this with every person he fucks.

Yoongi is so conflicted right now because, yes, Taehyung fucked him so good he's still buzzing and he still feels him everywhere; especially his ass, but he also feels so used, so disposable. Just like last time, although this time he was fucked from behind; face down, ass up.

He was trying on a black t-shirt when Taehyung came in.

"Sorry about that, my friend's a bit drunk," he said closing the door.

Yoongi knew he was fucked right in that moment. Taehyung came closer, he looked at Yoongi intensely. Yoongi wondered if that's all it takes for Taehyung to get laid; just that look. It certainly worked with him.

He swallowed dry, nervous as shit.

Then, Taehyung grabbed the hem of the t-shirt, "looks too big on you," he said, coming closer. And that was that.

He took Yoongi t-shirt off, well, his t-shirt, and then he kissed Yoongi down the neck. "Is this okay?" Taehyung asked, lips pressed lightly to Yoongi's skin. Yoongi nodded way too eagerly.

Taehyung was on top of him a second later, t-shirt off too, grinding their clothed cocks. He kissed and sucked Yoongi's neck, then his jaw. He was touching Yoongi everywhere, grabbing his ass and pulling him closer, so close.

Then they were both completely naked, lube and condoms on the bed. "Turn around," Taehyung whispered.


"Do you even know my name?" Yoongi asks when Taehyung is about to open the door.

"What?" Taehyung frowns and turns to look at him.

Yoongi looks down, he regrets this already. He's nervous all of the sudden. Maybe there's a reason why sex was good without the talking part, now he feels like an idiot, and he's still naked for fuck's sake. "I mean, you- eh, it's like- I feel like-" he sighs, "forget it."

"No. Tell me." Taehyung's still frowning. He sounds genuinely confused.

"Just that," Yoongi shrugs like it explains what he meant.


"That I feel like you don't even know my name, and we've fucked twice," he looks at Taehyung in the eyes now. "Unless you don't remember the first time, that is," he adds in a sarcastic tone. And he's just being a bitch because Taehyung obviously remembers, otherwise he wouldn't have suggestively mentioned that Yoongi knows where his room is in front of everybody downstairs.

"I thought we were on the same page," Taehyung says after a moment of uncomfortable silence and awkward staring. "I thought you were okay with it, y'know. I thought it was," he pauses, "fun."

"Yeah, I mean-"

"Your name is Yoongi," Taehyung interrupts him. He says it so firmly and serious, like he's annoyed. Yoongi nods and looks down, embarrassed. "You can still borrow that," Taehyung adds, pointing at the t-shirt. And then he leaves.