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Kung Fu Spider

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"He makes you wear a collar?!" Wade gasped "And you let him?!" His face was a picture of disbelief as he stamped round the room hollering at Peter.

Peter sighed "Stop being so dramatic, it's an inhibitor collar designed to control my Spider Powers otherwise he can't teach me properly."

Wade sulked "Does he have to teach you with your shirt off?"

Peter rolled his eyes "Yes! Now for god's sake Wade get a grip!"

But this being Wade he didn't know how to. All he knew was that another man was spending too much time with his Peter and worse he was touching him. The other man was younger, fitter and in Wade's eyes far too pretty to be anywhere near his Spider. He hated that Peter was spending so much time with him. He hated that Peter was allowing him to take control of his body and mind every afternoon. Most of all he hated that Peter had forbidden him from being anywhere near these meetings.

He's ashamed of me.

He's going to sail off into the sunset with Mr fucking wonderful and his collar.

Peter grabbed his bag and scowled at Wade "Remember what I told you! Do not follow me today and if I even sense that you are in the vicinity I will be extremely pissed off! This is serious, I need to focus."

Wade snapped back "Ha! You won't be able to sense shit if you're wearing His Majesty's stupid collar!" Wade was pleased with his reply.

"Don't push me Deadpool or I will be enjoying that big bed of ours all to myself for the rest of the the month!! Just be reasonable okay, stop acting like a spoilt kid and let me have something just for myself for once. You will be impressed when I show you my techniques, I'll be twice as agile." Peter winked and flashed Wade his killer smile as he walked out the door.

Wade threw himself on the floor and howled. This was all so unfair.


Peter walked out on to the roof terrace at Avengers Tower with butterflies in his stomach as he saw his trainer waiting. Shang-Chi was an old acquaintance of Steve's who was spending a few months in NYC training some of the younger Avengers. He was a picture of prime physical fitness, his body was ripped in a tight sinewy way. Every time Peter saw him with his shirt off he caught his breath. He'd met him a couple of times over the years, but never this close and personal. When he agreed to take some Kung Fu lessons he had no idea just how attractive Shang-Chi was. Peter was only too happy to take off his shirt and obey every instruction he was given.

The addition of the collar had been Shang-Chi's idea in order to stop Peter from always falling back on his Spider Powers. He felt they had made Peter a little lazy in his fighting techniques. "You must listen to your body Peter, you must learn to fight as the man not as the spider." Peter hung on his every word. "Focus is essential, keep control of your mind, don't be distracted by what is around you. Concentration is the key Peter. Now look directly at me!" The Web Shooter had no problem focussing on Shang-Chi.

Peter hadn't meant to be so harsh towards Wade, but sometimes he needed a little space from his clingy ways. Also he had forbidden Wade from watching the sessions because he knew he wouldn't be able to keep still or quiet and every time Shang-Chi got near him Wade would have been making comments or worse trying to jump in between them. He loved his boyfriend dearly but sometimes he was so embarrassing. Peter smiled to himself thinking about Wade's ridiculous displays of affection for him, it was cute and he loved him so much.

"Peter! Focus! This is no time for daydreaming, even if it is something happy!" Shang-Chi grabbed Peter's chin and stared straight into his eyes. Peter felt a twitch in his pants and his face turned a deep red.

Oh boy, he really shouldn't do that to me.

Shang-Chi noticed Peter's blush and smirked. "Peter maybe you need to cool off." He laughed mockingly at Peter's obvious discomfort. "If you are ready to proceed we can resume the training." Peter nodded and positioned his limbs ready for the next moves. Shang-Chi curved slowly behind him and smoothed his hand along Peter's arm "Too high Peter, lower slightly and try and breath. Remember you are learning an art form, be graceful, but don't allow yourself to be too exposed." Peter swallowed, he could feel the heat coming off Shang-Chi's body behind him and he had a sweet scent that made Peter feel light headed.

Have a fucking word with yourself Parker, cool down!

Peter managed to block his thoughts and regroup his mind. The rest of the session had gone much smoother and he felt good about his efforts. He was enjoying pushing his body in a new way without being able to use his powers. He had already been feeling the benefits physically. Shang-Chi was a strict tutor and kept things formal in training, but he was also very patient with Peter as he appreciated the young man's desire to learn. As soon as their session ended their interaction became casual and relaxed. Peter liked him a lot, he felt very at ease in his company.

Steve walked out on to the terrace and shook Shang-Chi's hand, he turned to Peter and patted him on the shoulder "How's our student doing today? I saw some if your session, looks like you're making progress." Shang-Chi smiled "He is an exceptionally quick learner, I don't think he will have any problems applying these techniques to his own skills." Steve looked happy at this news. It had been his idea for Spider-Man to train with the martial arts master as he felt Peter would benefit from enhancing his own abilities separate from his powers. He knew Peter had been in a position before where he temporarily lost his Spider powers and it had left him vulnerable and depressed. Steve wanted to show Peter there were other ways to defend himself and be a productive member of the team. Peter appreciated Cap's idea, but he was also mindful that he was still his own person and while he knew the team was ready to fully assimilate him into their ranks, Peter preferred to keep a distance, only assisting with bigger missions if needed. Cap respected this even if he slightly begrudged Peter's stubborn streak, but it didn't stop him from presenting the Web Shooter with opportunities, always hoping it would entice him into becoming a fully fledged Avenger.

Shang-Chi admired this independence in Peter, he felt it showed strength of character. He too was a lone wolf, always fighting his own battles, but never one to shy away from offering his help where needed. Mastering martial arts had helped him to harness his own ability of self-duplication and become a powerful fighter through his control of body and mind. Shang-Chi could fend off pain and resist any kind of poison or drug by entering into a meditative trance, elevating his consciousness so he was at one with his chi. He had a very strong spirit. He was also exceptional at reading people. This made him a useful and powerful ally.

Steve made his excuses and left Peter and Shang-Chi alone on the terrace, but before he left he requested Peter come in and see him before he went home. Peter agreed and wondered what Cap wanted. He thanked Shang-Chi and made plans to meet the following afternoon. As he handed him the inhibitor collar back he sensed something across from the tower. Peter moved like lightening and threw Shang-Chi to the ground thinking someone was going to attack them, but as they lay on the ground all was silent. Peter had covered Shang-Chi's body with his own and they were now in an awkward embrace. "What the hell Peter? I'm impressed with your reflexes but if you wanted to get to know me better you only had to ask." Peter's face burnt so hot he thought he was going to explode. He lifted himself up and apologised "I am so sorry when I removed the collar I suddenly sensed something across on that roof. I thought you...erm we... were in danger." Shang-Chi laughed at Peter's reaction, he thought it was both noble and adorable. He had never really noticed just how cute he was. "Peter if there had been any danger I would have picked up on it, you're not the only one with hyper-awareness, but I am grateful for your vigilance." Peter was glad Shang-Chi reacted in his usual dignified and calm way. Peter was anything but calm, his heart was racing and he needed to get out of there fast. "Ok well I'll see you tomorrow, thanks.....and sorry again." as Peter turned to leave Shang-Chi caught his arm and looked at him with a gentle smile "If you would like we could go for some food after training tomorrow, my shout." Peter hurriedly nodded "Ok yeah that would be nice thanks." blushing harder than ever he rushed away.

Shit! did he just ask me out on a date?

As he was walking through the corridor to the lift he heard Cap's voice behind him "Hey Pete can I see you for a second?" Peter's heart sank, he really wasn't in the mood for one of Steve's recruitment speeches disguised as a 'friendly pep-talk'. "Sure Steve, sorry I almost forgot." He faked a smile and Cap grunted at his sassy demeanor. Steve opened his laptop and planted it in front of Peter on the table. "I thought you might be interested to see this." Peter frowned as he looked at the screen. On it was what looked like footage of the terrace and surrounding buildings, this was from the security cameras. As he watched himself training with Shang-Chi the camera zoomed in on something on the roof opposite. Peter's frown turned to a glare when he saw what it was. There on the roof was Deadpool clearly spying on Peter and making a spectacle of himself. Every time Peter and Shang-chi connected in some way Wade would act enraged and stomp round the area he was watching from. At one point Peter could see he was punching himself in the face. Peter sighed deeply.

Cap raised his eyebrows at Peter "What the hell is he doing? Does he not realise he is drawing all kinds of attention to himself and us?!" Peter shook his head "I'm sorry I will speak to him, he can't help it Steve it's just how he is. I had a feeling he'd been following me, he means no harm really." Steve rolled his eyes "Peter when are you going to see him for what he is? He is a loose canon, a disaster waiting to happen. If he drags you down with him I will never forgive myself for not stepping in. He is unhinged and dangerous. You seem to be getting on well with Shang-Chi, you could do a lot worse than him. Don't let Wade prevent you from playing the field."

Peter couldn't believe what he was hearing, the audacity and arrogance of Cap to stand in judgement of his personal choices when it came to Wade filled Peter with rage. "What?! You are so out of line right now. I am with Wade, I love Wade and I will stand by him no matter what. Yes he acts like an idiot and he is possessive and childish, but he is also kind and loving and he looks after me. he loves me Steve!  I am here to learn a skill from Shang-Chi not to hook up with him. I can't believe you just suggested there could be anything more than a professional interest." Steve raised his eyebrow and moved the footage along, there in full view was Peter throwing himself at Shang-Chi and the subsequent awkward embrace, but from a distance it looked quite different. Peter also saw Wade collapse to the floor and slump forward on the roof across. "That's really not what it looks like!! When the collar came off something set my Spidey sense off and I thought we were in danger." Steve looked at Peter incredulously "Looks pretty cosy to me Pete and I think your boyfriend may have got the message too." Peter hated how smug Cap was at that moment. He grabbed his bag and stormed out, not bothering with the lift he webbed his way out of the window and across the city.


Wade was in a state. He was sat on the sofa feeling heartbroken. He couldn't believe that Peter had quite literally jumped on top of Shang-Chi and held him down on the ground. He didn't understand what was happening.

Yes you do understand.

You knew this would happen.

Peter has fallen for Mr Perfect Pecs and his fancy moves.

I can't blame him.

Shang-Chi is just too pretty.

Wade saw his own reflection in the screen of the tv and winced.

Yeah much prettier than that shit show.

Wade felt tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't want to lose Peter, he loved him so much. He felt his sadness turn into annoyance. He knew Steve was behind the Kung Fu training and he also knew Steve hated him being with Peter. He was setting him up, Wade was sure of it and Peter was just too damned good hearted to see it. Wade wasn't going to give up without a fight.

Oh NO! Miss America's Ass I'm not going to let you take my spider away!


When Peter got home that evening he wasn't sure how he would find Wade after seeing him clearly upset on the security footage. Wade's self-destructive tendencies had calmed down considerably since they had started living together, but sometimes he still allowed his emotions to get the better of him, especially when he got the wrong end of the stick.

"Wade? You home sweetheart?" Peter looked round the door to see where he was. So far so good everything seemed okay.

"I'm in here Baby Boy." Wade's voice called out from the bedroom and Peter felt an anxious little stir in his belly. He pushed open the bedroom door and his face transformed into a wide smile. "Hey gorgeous looks like you were waiting for me."

Wade was lying on the bed in a lacy fluffy pink number with pink stockings purring at Peter. "Sure thing Sweet Buns. I'm all Pretty in Pink for your pleasure tonight." Peter walked over to Wade and ran his fingers up a stocking covered leg, the fabric was sleek and soft, Peter leant in and rubbed his cheek along it. "Mmm feels nice, where have you been hiding these?" Wade laughed in a fake coy way "Oh why sir I purchased them just this afternoon."

Yeah right after you jumped on Luscious Lord Kung Fu and his pretty pout.

Peter took his t-shirt off and kicked away his shoes. He slid onto the bed next to Wade and buried his face in the fluffy lace. Peter definitely had a weak spot for Wade dressed up in frilly sexy outfits, lucky for him Wade loved it. Their eyes met and they kissed passionately, their lips warm and wet, full of need for each other.

Peter knew this was all to do with Wade seeing him jump on Shang-Chi and he felt bad for the seductive thoughts he'd had about the martial arts master. Peter would never act on his thoughts, but he was worried he had given out the wrong signals. Now Shang-Chi had asked him out on a date and although Peter's interest was spiked he could never betray Wade, it would break his heart in a the most painful way. Peter felt flattered and he wasn't doing anything except harmless flirting. No he would explain tomorrow that he could only ever be 'just friends'.

"Peter sweetums what are you thinking about?" Wade's eyes looked worried. Peter stroked his face and kissed him softly "I'm thinking about you and how sexy you are and how I don't deserve such an attentive boyfriend." Wade loved it when Peter said stuff like that. He turned over on to his front and wiggled his ass in the air. Peter could see he was wearing cute see-through panties with little satin bows, he growled at Wade and bit his ass cheek through the fabric.

Peter stood up and took the rest of his clothes off. He looked down at his hard on and tapped the tip, a fine thread of pre-cum attached itself to his fingertip and he took a deep breath. Wade gazed hungrily at Peter's naked form and wiggled his hips at him to hurry him along. "Come and get your candyfloss Baby Boy." Peter grabbed the lube by the bed and started coating his cock with the slick substance, then he kneeled behind Wade and started digging his fingers into the meaty flesh of his thighs and ass cheeks. He loved the way the pink fluffy hem fell just around Wade's hips and he rubbed his cock up and down the surface of the panties, leaving wet streaks. He reached round and found Wade's erection poking out of the top of the panties, the elastic hem restraining his skin, pulling it tight. Peter let out a low growl and ripped the panties right off. He spread Wade's thighs further apart and gently stroked his finger along Wade's entrance. The Merc whimpered as Peter increased his touch, then he slowly inserted his fingers. Wade was pushing his ass right up, trying to get more of Peter inside of him. Peter teased him slightly by pulling his fingers out and letting Wade moan for more. "Oh you want me inside you? How do you want me Wade?" The Merc whispered to Peter "I want you hard and deep, please Peter, all the way inside me." Peter bent forward and ran his tongue along Wade's entrance curling it around the opening making Wade howl with every lick. Then he sat up and admired Wade's ass looking all inviting, he lined up his cock and entered him slowly. At first he just teased with his tip going in and out and Wade called out for more, so he got a good grip on Wade's hips and thrust inside him with one deep push. Wade was grinding upwards as Peter took him hard. He could feel himself edging further as he sank his cock into Wade's slick ass. All the while Wade was panting and crying out for Peter to fuck him every which way he could. The silky fabric of the stockings rubbing along Peter's legs turned him on even more and he started to feel himself come. He wrapped his arm around Wade's middle and lifted him in an upright position so he could really get in as deep as possible and with that Peter came hard. He had his hand round Wade's erection and was rubbing it roughly while he was still shooting his load inside him. It felt warm and satisfying and then when he felt Wade erupt in his hand it was all the more gratifying. Peter loved to get Wade so wrecked.

They both fell back down onto the bed, Peter released himself from Wade and both felt a little chill at being disconnected from each other. They were so in tune Wade never wanted them to be apart. Peter looked at his boyfriend's face "I love you Wade please don't ever doubt that. I'm sorry I've not been giving you as much attention this last week, but sometimes it's good to have a little space for ourselves, like to indulge in a new hobby or interest."

Wade pouted "But Peter you are my hobby. You are all I am interested in.....well apart from my beloved Bea and her Golden Girls. Seriously, I hate it when we are not together even just for a few moments. We belong together and I always think you are going to find someone more interesting and handsome than me. You won't leave me will you Peter?" Wade's face looked far too forlorn for somebody who'd just had great sex. "Wade I will never leave you and when I am not with you I think about you all the time. Don't be afraid, you are Deadpool you shouldn't be scared of anything, you're immortal!" Wade held Peter's face "Yeah I am but that doesn't mean I don't feel pain and the worst pain of all is a broken heart." Peter's eyes filled with tears at the thought of his beloved sweetheart in pain. He held Wade in his arms and together they drifted off to sleep.


Peter was already on the terrace ready for their next training session when Shang-Chi approached "Very punctual Mr Parker. Feeling good today? I have a new move we can try. I think you will like it." Shang-Chi looked Peter straight in the eye and grinned. Peter blushed instantly.

Oh shit, he's flirting with me.

Peter put the collar on and immediately felt vulnerable. He knew wearing the collar was for a good reason, but he felt incomplete without his Spider powers, like part of himself was missing. Shang-Chi stood in front of Peter with a stern look on his face, he placed his hand on Peter's shoulder and made a guttural sound and next thing Peter knew he was flat on his back with Shang-Chi kneeling over him. "Wow those are some fast moves!" Shang-Chi fixed Peter with a stare "Speed is everything, you always need to outmanoeuvre your opponent, catch them unaware. A little like you did with me yesterday." He winked and Peter felt his crotch burn.

Oh no this is bad news.

Peter got to his feet and resumed the position. He realised he had to be extra alert to avoid Shang-Chi's fast approach in today's session. "Yes Peter you need to learn about the element of surprise, always keep your opponent guessing." With that he lashed out with a kick and sent Peter flying across the terrace. "Seek out their weaknesses and use them, knowledge is power." Peter got straight back up and circled the martial arts master, observing his poised stance. Another kick shot out, but this time Peter swerved and managed to slide under and locked Shang-Chi's legs bringing him down on to his back. "I'm impressed Peter, you have been paying attention after all. Never underestimate the power of the unexpected move." Peter was lying over him pinning one of his hands above his head and for a split second the two men locked in a loaded gaze. Peter felt Shang-Chi stroke his face and he watched as he lifted his head up towards him, their lips almost meeting when he suddenly felt himself being yanked up from behind and thrown to the side.

"Oh HELL NO! Not on MY watch MOTHERFUCKER!" Deadpool stood over Shang-Chi pointing a katana directly at his face.

Peter's jaw was almost on the floor. "Wade no!"

Shang-Chi calmly stared at Deadpool "So we finally meet. I had hoped for better circumstances but all things considered I feel you are showing remarkable restraint."

"Wade please put your sword away. How the hell did you get up here anyway?" Peter gasped.

Sounds of shouting and running alerted them to Steve and two security guards. "Oh boy here comes the last person you needed to upset! Thanks a bunch Wade!"

Wade shook his head at Peter, still pointing the Katana, he stared at Shang-Chi angrily "I saw what you were doing, I'm not stupid, I could see your game. Peter is MINE you got that?! You don't get to lay your hands on him for ANY reason. He may have been seduced by your smooth moves and pretty face, but he has a pure heart. He thinks good of everybody and when I see someone taking advantage I exact my own special justice on those people."

People always made the mistake of underestimating Wade, but often he was astute in his observations, he studied people and their behaviour. Wade's two main weaknesses were Peter and his ego.

Steve waded in on the unfolding drama "Goddammit Deadpool put the Katana away and we can all go inside and sort this out. Nobody needs to get hurt."

Wade didn't move "Oh here he is Captain America himself, so righteous and virtuous! Yet if you are so upstanding then why have you been trying to convince MY boyfriend to stray? Where does breaking up two people in love fit into your precious morals? No Miss America just take your tight old ass and BUTT out!"

Shang-Chi smiled gently at Deadpool, he knew how to handle him. "I know you have been watching us training, I saw you across on the rooftop. I knew immediately who you were, you have a very distinctive look and your reputation precedes you. I am honoured to meet you Deadpool and if I have offended you then please believe me when I say it was entirely unintentional. I did not know of your connection to Peter, I had not been made aware that you are a couple. I apologise for my behaviour. Peter is a very attractive man and I was quite enamoured with him. He is very lucky to have such a strong vigilant man as his partner. Clearly your love is very true." 

Wade let out an almighty sob and fell to his knees "You see?? HE gets it!!" Wade flung his arms round Shang-Chi crying and spluttering his total devotion for the man.

Steve rolled his eyes so hard they almost disappeared.

Peter was shell shocked at what had just happened.

Wade sat sniffing next to Shang-Chi, he held his hand and rubbed his other hand over The Merc's back. "Come on I think we need to go inside. I am going to go and have some food would you like to join me?" Wade's eyes opened wide in his mask "You want to go for dinner with ME?!" Shang-Chi nodded "Yes of course, you are Deadpool the great immortal warrior." Wade jumped to his feet and stood in a proud pose "I really like him Peter, can we keep him?"

As Wade and Shang-Chi walked towards the doors to go inside Peter stood and stared at them in disbelief "What the hell just happened?!" Cap shrugged his shoulders "I told you he is a maniac, he could have killed you both! If it wasn't for Shang-Chi's calming technique that could have been a serious blood bath." Peter frowned "Technique?" Cap smiled at him "Yeah didn't you know he's the master of diffusing dangerous situations, he picks up on people's weaknesses and uses that to talk them down in a crisis situation. He knew Deadpool had been watching you because I showed him the footage. You didn't think I wasn't going to warn him did you?!" Peter's mouth fell open.

The element of surprise. Always keep your opponent guessing. Knowledge is power.

He sure as hell knew how to surprise me!

"Of course you do realise that Wade will be completely unbearable after this?" Cap gave Peter a look he'd seen all too often. "Yeah yeah I know, but I'd rather see him happy than a sad insecure mess." Peter thought about how much Wade loved him and a little spark lit up in his heart.

"Hey Peter, my little Kung Fu Spider are you coming? My friend Shang is taking us for Chinese food, apparently he knows ALL the BEST places!" Wade beamed and Peter just shook his head and laughed. What else could he do? As he walked towards the door he heard Shang-Chi's voice in his mind.

"Never underestimate the power of the unexpected move."

Shit, I think I just got played.