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Meme Queen

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Peter was practically vibrating with excitement, bouncing in his seat. He was in the Avengers Quinjet, on his way to Wakanda. He was going to Wakanda! “Kiddo, chill. You’re gonna vibrate through the floor if you’re not careful and if we lose you in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean we’re not going back for you, so you’ll be left for the sharks.” He looked at Tony with a deadpan look and poked his tongue out. “You’re a meanie.”


“That’s a lie and we both know it, Stark. You’d try to fight sharks with your bare fists if Peter was in danger. Also, we’re not over the ocean any more.” Bucky chimed in from where he was sitting in one of the further back seats. Tony turned to him with a bitter glare and Peter couldn’t help but giggle at the interaction. Thinking of something randomly, he gasped in shock “Bucky, if you’re my brother figure, and Mr Stark is my father figure does that mean that by default, Mr Stark is also your father figure?” The individual looks of horror on their faces said it all. Steve burst out laughing from in the cockpit without even seeing their reactions and Peter cackled alongside him. It took a while for them to calm down and while they were doing so, Bucky wearily walked up to Tony, who just looked confused now, and poked him, which made Peter laugh harder for some reason.


“God, that was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. Okay, we’re approaching the city.” Hearing that, Peter shot up and moved as fast as possible – without running – to look out of the glass. “But it’s just trees and mountains? Oh, wait! What if-“ he didn’t even need to continue his idea of an invisible barrier, when the trees that they had been headed for shimmered and then a city was visible. “Holy shit.” He gasped, unable to form any other words to describe Wakanda. “Holy shit.” Tony echoed, sounding just as awestruck.


“Yeah, Wakanda gives you that impression.” Bucky said, sounding almost smug as the Quinjet started its descent onto a landing pad. Standing by the landing pad in front of what clearly was the Wakandan palace was T’Challa, an older woman with an intricate headdress and a teenage girl who looked to be the same age as Peter himself, maybe a year or two older. Behind them was an assorted guard of fierce-looking women dressed in an intricate red and gold uniform, holding wicked looking spears.


“Wow. This is too cool... wow.” He gaped as the doors of the Quinjet opened and followed Bucky and Steve out. He barely paid attention to the teen shouting “White Wolf!” And certainly didn’t notice her tackle Bucky in a hug to his left as he instead watched Tony try to wander off towards the right. The head guard, who was straight ahead of Peter, rolled her eyes at Tony’s antics and walked after him, grabbing the neckline of his t-shirt and dragging him back over to beside Peter. “Well done Mr Stark, we’ve just landed and you’ve already gotten in trouble.” Peter sarcastically commended his father figure, who seemed to be almost pouting, “I think that might be a new record.” He grinned as Tony, being the ever responsible adult that he is, stuck his tongue out at him.


“I will get a suit to dump you in the Atlantic. I won’t hesitate bitch.” Peter stifled a giggle at the vine reference. Whether it was on purpose or not, Peter wouldn’t know because Tony would probably be a mysterious little shit about it if he asked. Instead of asking, he simply said “No you won’t Mr Stark.” And when Tony sighed, he smiled smugly.


“No, I won’t.” Tony sounded defeated. “Oh, and by the way, I can’t believe that the first time you admit to me being a father figure to you, you mention it in such a weird context and insinuate that I am also Barnes’ parental figure because he’s the big brother you always tell me you never had. I’m not sure who was more grossed out, me, or that one.” He flicked his head and Peter looked in that direction to see Bucky standing by T’Challa, and the women who, by now, Peter would have to assume are T’Challa’s mother and sister. The teen wasn’t participating in the conversation with the super soldiers, instead seemingly listening in to Peter and Tony’s conversation.


When Peter’s gaze landed on her, she hastily averted her eyes. “I’ve heard that her lab is so advanced it could potentially put mine to shame despite being smaller in size.” Peter rose an eyebrow disbelievingly at Tony’s words. “No way, who said that?” He didn’t have to think for a second before saying. “Ross.” He paused but at Peter’s incredulous look, hurried to clarify, “The nice one. Everett Ross. You haven’t met him, but I’ve told you about him.” Peter nodded in an affirmative, recalling the stories told about the man. “Now come on Underoos, let’s introduce ourselves to the Wakandan royalty.”


“Listen up, fives, a ten is speaking!” Tony shouted as he walked over, effectively stopping the conversation and forcing Peter to try (and fail) to keep a straight face. “Oh my god Stark, you’re such a dramatic bitch. I love it.” The teenager laughed and Tony beamed at what he definitely would’ve considered to be a compliment. “I’m glad that I’ve already made a great impression, I’m aware you already know me, dear Princess Shuri.” She rolled her eyes, grinning cheekily, “This is Peter, my mentee, he’s not actually my son, but he may as well be, and he’s Spider-Man. He’s a nerd like us.” Shuri raised an eyebrow at some part of that introduction, but didn’t say anything more about it.


“It’s nice to meet you Peter, if you are unaware, I am Ramonda, the mother of these two troublemakers. I hope you will enjoy your stay here. And you,” she walked up to Tony and pinched his cheek, ignoring the protests of T’Challa, “Are too skinny, and you look so tired. Come, child. Let me treat you to some traditional food.” She insisted and Tony was in that much shock that he allowed her to drag him away. “Okay, while mother coddles Tony, I’m going to go with the soldiers to Bucky’s hut.” T’Challa informed them (mainly Shuri) and upon hearing that, Peter looked questioningly at Bucky, who only smiled mysteriously before walking away.


“Wanna come to my lab? It’s pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.” Peter grinned at the offer, excitement reaching a new level “Sure!” He chirped. Even as he was walking through the castle, Peter was looking around at everything in awe and Shuri kept on smirking knowingly at him, which was a little concerning, but he kept following. After a while, she stopped in front of a set of double doors. “Behold,” she announced, “My lab.” And pushed the doors open.


The space, albeit small (which he already knew) was just as amazing as Tony’s lab, if not better. He waited patiently (as patiently as he could when he was so excited to explore) for Shuri to lead him down. “You might just become my next favourite white boy. You’re not a broken one I’ve had to fix.” She said ominously as she started walking down the spiral ramp. When Peter didn’t respond, she turned to see him standing in the same spot, squinting as he proceeded the words. She laughed and explained how after the events of the ‘Civil War’, after Steve broke the rogues out of the Raft, he went to Wakanda with Bucky and Shuri was able to remove most of the trauma that’s associated with the Winter Soldier’s trigger words. Peter knew that after the return of the Rogues, Tony had completed the process Shuri had been working on (without knowing she had done most of the work). She told Peter how because she had to help Bucky, he was her broken white boy and when he started helping the natives and playing with the kids in the village he had lived by, he had become her favourite white boy.


She continued her walk down and once they’d reached the bottom, she showed Peter around. Peter’s jaw dropped at the Black Panther suit that seemed significantly better than the one he’d last seen at Leipzig. Shuri seemed just as excited to be showing off her tech as Peter was to be looking at her tech. At the end of the tour, she’d asked “So, what do you think?” with an overjoyed grin. Peter subconsciously knew he was about to embarrass himself as he tried to think of something to describe what he had just seen, but instead, all he said was, “Marry me.” Peter wanted to die, damn Parker luck. Or maybe that’s just Peter Parker luck.


Shuri was silent for a moment, Peter cringing as he thought of how he could excuse his lack of ability to speak like a normal person, but then, “Hey, I’m lesbian.” Peter, because he was a dumbass Gen Z, without even thinking, responded by saying “I thought you were American.” He instantly buried his face in his hands in shame.


“Aw fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this.” Peter’s head snapped up at the vine and when he saw Shuri grinning, he sighed in relief. “I love you bitch. I ain’t never gunna stop loving you... bitch.” Shuri snorted.


After they’d regrouped with the adults, Peter and Shuri were still exchanging vine references and the second that T’Challa heard them, he groaned and said “Oh no, not another one.”