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7 Sins for 7 Virtues

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Chapter 1


It wasn’t that Aziraphale didn’t try to loose the weight. God herself knows he had tried. He just couldn’t seem to keep it off. He would like to blame it on 6,000 years of being on earth and eating to fit in with the humans. That anyone in his position would have ended up in the same state as him after so much time. But simply put, that just wasn’t true. Crowley was as slim as ever. Not that heaven needed to know that, and thank goodness- or rather evil, that they didn’t know what the demon looked like.


Aziraphale sighed as he put three sugars into his tea. Sure, it could be consumed without sugar, but the bitterness of it straight was pure torture and at that rate he might as well be drinking water. Which wasn’t the same at all. Still, he was cutting back after all. No matter how sorely he wanted to put in that fourth sugar, he would resist. Had to resist. He couldn’t bare the thought of what the other angels were most likely saying behind his back. He already knew what they would say to his face, after all.


He stirred and sipped. It was still a bit bitter.


His fingers twitched a bit. There was a fourth sugar just there, reaching distance from him. No one would know. The tea would be sweeter. This could be the last time and he could start using only three sugars the next time he had tea. His fingers withdrew into a fist at his side.


“Oh jussst do it, angel. It’s only one sugar.” Crowley opened one eye to watch him as he sprawled out over Aziraphale’s couch.


“Serpent.” Aziraphale tisked, which only garnered him a serpentine smile from his demon. “You can’t tempt me.” He inhaled, putting his nose up and refusing to take the fourth sugar.


Crowley shrugged. He wasn’t actually trying to tempt him this time. He just didn’t think one measly packet of sugar was enough to get so worked up about. Besides, three sugars wasn’t exactly dieting anyway.


“I don’t see why it even matters,” Crowley let out a small yawn and stretched his back as he began to sit up. “Its not like you can get diabetes or something.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “I know that.” His eyes drifted back to the sugar.


“Do you remember,” Crowley started, and somehow Aziraphale knew deep inside exactly what the demon was going to say. “Our first deal we made?”

“We decided to end that deal, if I must remind you.” Azirphale closed his eyes for a moment, Crowley was really trying his patience today.

“But you didn’t want to. I know you didn’t want to.” He was standing now and started sauntering closer. “and it was fun, wasn’t it?”


That was the worst part. It had been fun. Even more so for the angel.


Aziraphale bit his lower lip. “I… I’ve had a hard enough time recovering from last time.” He admitted softly.


“Then there you go. You have nothing to loose by playing with me again. Only… something to gain.” Crowley didn’t like that part as much, but angels were rather difficult to tempt, so he had to have something on the line to offer him back.


“Same rules?” Aziraphale questioned. “You wont be able to cheat, after all.”


“I wouldn’t dream of it. And yes. I’ll follow one of the seven virtues for every deadly sin you act upon.” He grinned, knowing he had already won if Azira was checking the rules. “We both pick the one we feel like following, of course.”


“You’re just trying to trick me.” But his heart had given in. It would be amusing to make Crowley virtuous after all… and all he had to do was something he wanted anyway. But probably shouldn’t.


Crowley had stepped behind the angel’s chair and picked up the sugar packet, placing it in Aziraphale’s hand. “We can always start slow.” He whispered softly against his ear. “Just eat how you want to, really want to, for now.”


There was a second catch with the game. Any sin Aziraphale was engaging in, meant he couldn’t persuade a human to follow the opposing virtue. Likewise, Crowley couldn’t tempt a human with the opposing sin to any virtue he was engaged in. They had discovered the draw back the last time.


“And you?” Aziraphale hummed, already opening the sugar. It was so very easy to give in. “You’re tempting me with gluttony, what shall I charge you with?”


Crowley blinked, “We’re suppose to choose our own-”


“Ah, but you cheated. You picked my sin for me. It’s only fair that I pick your first virtue.”


Crowley clenched his jaw, “Sounds like you’re the one trying to cheat.”

“You’re starting easy with me,” He sipped his tea, noting how much sweeter it was now. “So I’ll go easy on you.”

Crowley shifted uneasily where he stood. “Very kind of you,” he responded sarcastically.


“No, very kind of you, Crowley.” The angel smiled. To someone less trained it would seem like an innocent honest smile, but the demon knew far better then that. “I shall charge you with Kindness.” Today was feeling better all ready for him.

Crowley felt like gagging. “Ugh, you can’t be serious.” He felt disgusted.


“Oh come now, you are kind sometimes,” Aziraphale chided.


“You take that back!”


“Especially to me.” He smiled brighter behind his tea mug.


Crowley had in fact given in a few times after their last iteration of this game to ‘kindness.’ He hated it just as much as Aziraphale hated that he occasionally gave into gluttony. But like the angel, once the habit had started, it was extremely difficult to break, no matter how hard they had both tried to.





The First Temptation


“Well allow me to tempt you,” Aziraphale sing songed. “Oh wait, that’s your job.”


Crowley couldn’t believe this cheeky bastard. First he gives away, just gives away!!!, a sword the ALMIGHT HERSELF gave to him. Now he’s jesting about tempting a demon! An angel tempting someone! He was fairly certain that other angels had fallen for lesser crimes.


Crowley was mad. He was resentful, wrathful even. Towards, towards… well, someone. But not the angel in question. Azirphale was, honestly, rather amusing. He didn’t question if it was right or wrong in the moment that he gave his sword away. He simply did it because it felt right. Now here he was, tempting a demon. And the demon was, quite tempted.


“Oysters?” He mused, “What will these humans think of next.” It sounded pretty disgusting, actually. Oysters. They might as well think of a dish that involved snails. But allowing the angel to ‘tempt’ him was rather beneficial to him. He easily saw how he might gain something from this. “Shall we then?”


“Ha- ah, oh, OH.” Aziraphale’s eyes widened just a bit. Crowley had actually accepted? This was exceptionally unexpected. Really, it had just been an off-handed joke, nothing more. He wished in this moment that he could curse, even just internally. “Ah- you, actually want to-” His words were now falling out in a jumbled up nervous mess.

Crowley merely smiled and nodded. “I whole heartedly accept your invitation.” Oh he was a wily serpent.


“Ah, right… right.” Aziraphale looked around nervously. He truly hoped that upstairs hadn’t heard that he had just invited a demon out to lunch, however accidental. But, it would be rude to retract the offer now. He literally had to go through with it.


Crowley looked at him expectantly.


Aziraphale let out an internal sigh. It was just lunch. Once. No one had to know and then it would be over and they would never eat out again. It was fine. He would just have to be more careful with his words next time. “Right. Its um, just a few streets over.”

The demon stood. “We could walk.” He noticed a small crease on the angel’s forehead at that. “Or we could take a carriage.”


“Oh that would be nice.” Aziraphale was a bit relieved by the prospect of not walking.

A small smile played over Crowley’s features. He had never once considered tempting an angel, let alone Aziraphale. But he was beginning to see it would be far easier then he ever imagined. “Carriage it is, then.”




The pair had finished off the plate of oysters and Crowley couldn’t help but notice the delight in which Aziraphale had with each and every bite. He had enjoyed the oysters most reverently. The poor angel had given himself away so quickly.


All good demons knew that not everyone could be successfully tempted, especially on their first attempt. But all humans, each and every one had their weakness. There was at least one of the seven deadly sins that applied to any given person. Demons were naturally riddled with far more. But Angels, well, that was an unknown. The trick with tempting a human was finding which sin they were most likely to give in to. Some foolish demons would try anything, putting absolutely no thought into it at all. But others, like himself, occasionally researched just what made a person tick.


But Aziraphale, dear sweet Aziraphale, was already so very close to the edge already. The poor fool.


A waiter was walking around with a large pitcher of wine. Crowley signaled for him to fill their glasses. He was delighted when the angel accepted, no coaxing needed.


“They were quite good.” Crowley praised. People gave in easier when they were praised through their sins.


Aziraphale beamed. “Rather scrumptious weren’t they?” His nose scrunched up a bit as he spoke.


Crowley eyed another waiter, this time with expensive looking bread and he waved him over. “Would you like some?”

The angel’s eyes glazed over for a moment before looking down. “I probably shouldn’t.”


“Oh but it’s a thank you.”


“A- a thank you?” He was more then a little surprised to hear that from his enemy.


“In thanks for introducing me to oysters, of course.”


“Oh,” He went a tad pink. “You’re quite welcome dear boy.” He smiled very brightly. It couldn’t be, could it? That being nice to this demon was somehow bringing him closer to the light? Was that even possible? Well, if making a human virtuous was good, making a demon good would be simply marvelous. “There’s really no need to thank me.” He gave him the brightest of smiles.


“Oh but I insist-” Crowley was thrown for just a moment as he caught sight of that smile. It was so- so- genuine? The other angels had always had such tight forced smiles. He hadn’t even known the word ‘sincere’ until the humans had come up with it. Aziraphale was actually, genuinely, pleased?


“Well if you insist,” His eyes lit up again as the server placed the food down. He had given Crowley the first bite.


Crowley made sure Aziraphale had the last bite and he told himself it was all part of his plan to tempt the angel and not because he wanted him to have it because it made the angel happy.


Aziraphale couldn’t believe it. Just a bit of chivalry and compassion towards him and the demon was well on his way to being good. He wasn’t going to waste this golden opportunity. “Thank you Crowley, that was most delectable.”


The angel was thanking him for leading him into temptation. Oh this was too good to be true. Plus he was, frankly, rather cute. But one sin at a time.


Crowley gestured for more wine to be brought to them as he surveyed the room for other food options.


“Thank you dear, but I should really stop.”


Dear? Crowley blinked. The angel had just called him ‘dear’ so casually? “Surely you’re not full yet, are you?” Though in truth, the serpent was starting to feel rather full himself. He didn’t typically consume food regularly.


“I suppose I could eat more. Its just- well, I shouldn’t.” He folded his hands in front of himself.


Crowley was actually surprised he was in fact still hungry, why wasn’t he still eating? He hadn’t even honestly tempted him yet. “…and why is that?”

“I-” His eyes dipped down, as if being caught being naughty. “I don’t want to be greedy.” His voice was barely above a whisper.


Crowley was mystified. That’s what the angel cared about? They had barley eaten. “Honestly, angel, I think you’re fine. Look around, everyone’s eating. There’s more then enough to go around. Its not greedy at all.” He would know if it was, given his disposition.


Aziraphale’s eyes lifted up, his lips pressing together. “You’re sure?”




A waiter placed down another platter of food for them. Crowley had started to eat less and less, feeling fuller and fuller. The plates however continued to come and with his silver tongue, the demon had carefully coaxed most of it into Aziraphale.


Finally, Crowley couldn’t fathom the thought of another bite. The bloody angel had him beat. Aziraphale leaned back in his seat.




“Full already?” Seriously this should have taken place several plates ago.


Azirphale let out a sigh of relief. “I- I don’t think I’ve ever actually been full before. I mean, I’ve eaten and stopped being hungry but… well, I don’t think I ever realized this is what it means to be full.”


“A few more wont hurt,” He lifted one of the cheese covered meat bites for Aziraphale.


“No really, this has been too much.” He had never eaten so much in one sitting before. He had only justified it because the demon was being so pleasant. His breath suddenly hitched as a small cramp hit him. But never having been full before, he wasn’t sure what to do as the sharp pain hit him.


Crowley froze. “Zira? Are you- ssshit are you alright??”


The angel’s eyes closed tightly, not sure what had come over him. “Its- ah Crowley, dear- it hurts.” He gripped his chair, knuckles starting to go white.


This was going terribly. Crowley subtly scooted his seat closer and with just a bit of hesitation, he reached his hand out and ran a few soothing circles over the angel’s stuffed stomach. Aziraphal lessened his grip on the chair and after a few rubs his eyes fluttered open. This was impossible. Simply impossible. He looked at Crowley incredulously.


“You… you’re healing me??” Clearly Crowley had already risen back to being an angel and was using a miracle on him.


“Healing? You think I’m… oh angel, you really haven’t been full before, have you?” He let out a small laugh. This was obscenely cute. Fuck, he could probably be kicked out of hell for even thinking that. “No- I’m not- I’m a demon, did you really think I was using magic to heal you?” He almost felt guilty for leading him into temptation now. Almost. “You’re just stuffed.” His lips lifted into a smirk. “I’m just soothing the food down is all. Helps people feel better and even eat a bit more.”


Aziraphale furrowed his brow at that. “Why would someone want to eat more after they’re already in pain from eating so much?”


Normally even Crowley would have been inclined to agree. But this was Rome and it seemed to be all the rage at the moment. “It can be nice too. Full. Overly full.” He was still soothing the angel’s stomach and edging in closer as he spoke. “You’ve never tried it?”


“Heavens no, its sound, well… Gluttonous?” He did hope that didn’t offend the demon.


“Only a little bit.” He held the morsel to Aziraphale’s lips, but the angel looked away, turning his mouth from him.


“Crowley… I caaant.” He whined. “Its… that’s a sin.” He whispered.


He had already put so much effort into this temptation. He wasn’t going to fail now. He took his hand away from the angel’s belly.


“Ahh, C-crowley…” Aziraphale was fully aware of how pathetically needy he had just sounded, but he really was in a bit of pain.


There was a flicker in that old serpent’s eye. “You tempted me firssst.” He looked the angel up and down where he was beginning to squirm in his seat. “Now, let me tempt you?” He placed his hand back on him, but it was still. An unspoken promise that he would continue the soothing administrations if the angel would just give in. His other hand still offering the bite.


“You… you tricked me?” There was a bit of confused hurt in his voice. “I thought I could make you virtuous again.”


Crowley’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m a demon?” It felt like it was going against his temptation to point this fact out, but seriously, what was the angel even thinking?


“You were being so nice to me though.” He did wish Crowley would keep rubbing his poor abused stomach though. “It was just to- to-” It was sort of a weird temptation though. “feed me?”


“Its symbolic.” Now Crowley was looking away, feeling like he had been caught slacking on the job a bit.


Another cramp hit and Aziraphale let out a small grunt in protest at the pain. He wasn’t sure how to get that rubbing healing affect that Crowley was performing on him. But it didn’t matter, Crowley’s hand was pressing slow circles into him yet again, easing the pain away. He had a subtle smile at this. Somewhere deep inside of the demon, there was a bit of hope. He was sure of that now. Besides, it was just one more bite of food. Was that really such a sin?


Aziraphale leaned forward and nibbled at the morsel Crowley was holding, unprompted. Crowley’s breath hitched a bit. Had that even counted as a temptation? He quickly fumbled to feed the angel a bit more. They both believed they were wining.


Crowley held another piece this time directly to Aziraphale’s lips, looking more invested then ever and still dutifully rubbing him.


“I thought you already accomplished your temptation? Aren’t you done with me yet, foul beast?” He probably didn’t need to add that last part, but it was fun.


“Just a bit more? You’ve already committed to this temptation, you can’t be double tempted.” Probably. He’d have to check the rules on that one.


“I’ll eat as much as you wish me to-”


Crowley lit up at that, showing his hand a tad too fast. His expression fell as he saw the angel was smiling.


“But I have conditions.” He licked his lips. Crowley’s soothing circles were somehow making him hungry again.


It wasn’t unheard of and as long as it secured a temptation, it was occasionally allowed to give in to the requests of those being tempted. “And what are those?”


“Well,” And the demon knew something was amiss by how confident the angel sounded now. “I want you to join me in finishing this plate.”


“But- I’m full?” That was probably the lamest excuse there was. “Fine, done.” He would just have to regret the indigestion later.


“And, I’m going to ‘tempt’ you again.”


Perhaps Crowley was mistaken and he was just dealing with another demon all along. “Sorry, what?”


“Well, tempt isn’t quite the right word. But I want you to do something. I promise to give in all you want and be fully tempted by you if-”


Crowley was truly hanging onto the angel’s every word now, this was utterly unprecedented. Somehow he wanted this temptation to hold. He wanted it so much more then all his other temptations he had ever performed. This was the big one, he just knew it.


“If I charge you with a virtue.”


Crowley was dumbfounded for a moment. What. The. Fuck. “Are you serious?”


“As serious as you want to feed me that whole plate and probably more, I suspect. On multiple occasions.”


There were hopes of repeat angelic sins at stakes here. This was serious indeed. But a virtue?? He had to wonder if he would go up in flames just for trying it.


“Which virtue?” Only a bit of venom in his words.


Ah, but he had asked, and the angel knew he had won with that. Asking rules was only a step away from consenting. “That’s the beauty in it. I’ll even let you choose.” And before he could say no, Aziraphale so delicately took the new morsel in, his tongue dancing over Crowley’s fingers for just a moment.


Crowley was breathless. He had tempted the angel of the Eastern Gate into a most heinous sin. Eating a bit much. He didn’t make the rules on what was sinning, odd, sure. But then Adam and Eve were kicked out of Eden for just one apple. He fed Aziraphale a lot more then that. The hand that had been at the angel’s lips dropped down to join his other in rubbing that growing bulge of his stomach. He could feel just how taut he had become from the over indulgence.


Aziraphale let out a little hum at that. Crowley was really making him feel rather nice. Besides, Crowley had said it himself all those years ago, he wasn’t sure that an angel even could sin. Besides, this was the Lord’s work, bringing back one of the fallen into the light. “Don’t forget your end of the bargain.” Both hands on him now felt too nice to interrupt. He grabbed one of the scrumptious treats himself and held it up to Crowley’s mouth.


Crowley knew it was a bad idea, in his case a particularly bad one in fact, but a deal was a deal and he immediately ate it with great enthusiasm. The first one is always the easiest. But Aziraphale would feed him a bite for each one he took and the plate wasn’t emptying fast enough. The angel quickly noticed Crowley’s movement’s slowing down with each bite. Which was rather funny. His eyes began drooping shut and eventually he was more so laying against the angel more then anything else, somewhat unaware.


“No more…” Crowley breathed, his eyes only open by a thin slit.


“Just a bite.” Azira was having a tad too much fun now. But fair was fair. “You can surely manage one bite.”


When Crowley didn’t answer, the angel gently pressed it to his lips, and watched with great satisfaction as he sleepily opened his mouth and swallowed. He promptly passed out immediately.


“Oh dear…” It was a strange sort of reaction, but one that made him feel responsible for the exhausted demon. “Well, we did agree.” He finished the plate off as promised.


Aziraphale attempted to pull Crowley closer and stand, but found with his stomach freshly stuffed, he simply couldn’t manage both. “Crowley…. Crowley! Please, I can’t lift you up.” He didn’t think it was safe to just leave him about while unconscious either.


“Hmmm?” He didn’t open his eyes and barely stirred. “Oh, sorry.” He nestled a bit more against him, beginning to get on Azirphale’s nerves when suddenly he was becoming lighter and lighter, much to the angel’s amazement.

“Crowley? Crowley! We’re still in public! You cant- not here!” He tried shielding the sleeping demon as he shrank down, skin giving way to scales. Soon enough he was holding a rather impressive looking snake. At least he was more manageable like this.




Azirphale was frantic. This was an absolute nightmare. Crowley had been out cold for four whole days. But what could he do? He couldn’t just call a doctor for him! Nor could he get celestial aid who would probably tell him to get rid of the demon in a rather permanent manner, or contact demons who would do the same to him.


“Oh dear boy, what have I done?” He smoothed some soft red curls down on the side of Crowley’s head and began dabbing him delicately with a damp cloth. He still needed to be taken care of after all. He had no idea what to do with the sleeping snake those few days ago and so he simply placed the serpent in his bed. It hadn’t been long before he shifted back to his human form in a curled up position. “Oh do wake up my dear. You are giving me such a fright…”


Finally, Crowley began to stir. A low hissing alerting Aziraphale first. He immediately went to gently rubbing his back.


“That’s it, that’s right.” He had never been so nervous. Not when he gave away his sword, not even when he gave into Crowley’s temptation.


“Mhmmm…” Cowley’s yellow eyes cracked open. There was far too much light in the room. “Where…” He was vaguely aware that someone was muttering something beside him and doing a rather nice job of rubbing his back. He shut his eyes again just for a moment to appreciate it. “Ah, that’s nice.”


“CROWLEY!” The demon was suddenly being crushed by a hugging angel.

“Less nice!! That’s much less nice!”


It was too late, Azirphale was desperately preening over him. “My dear!! You were out for so long- and I had no idea why or what to do or what-” He was rambling at great speed.


Crowley sat up a bit more and closed his eyes. “The temptation,” He murmured, his hand going to rub his own stomach. He felt much better now, only a bit of food still left inside him.


Aziraphale was finally quiet for a moment, still worried and yet so relieved at the same time. “You just… passed out.”


The serpent sighed. “I should have held back more, but demons aren’t built for temperance.” He opened his eyes again and found those watery blue ones peering at him with all the worry in the world. “I’m not exactly built the same as people.”


Azira’s gaze quickly shifted as he nodded, “Yes, I mean, I noticed that.”


Crowley furrowed his brow for a moment before looking down at himself and finding his tunic gone. He had been sleeping under a blanket to protect his ‘modesty’ but was otherwise nude.


“Having a peak? Naughty angel.” His voice only faltered a bit as he moved to cover himself up more. All he could do now was joke about it and hope the angel left it at that.


He had known, of course, about the eyes. Aziraphale could hardly not notice such unusual eyes. They had been later gifted to the snakes and a few other reptiles as well, he suspected. But they were Crowley’s first. Of course he knew the demon could shift his shape into that of a snake’s as well. He had first met him in that serpentine form in the garden. The wily snake had spent seven whole days pretending he was just some animal incapable of speech. Tricking, well, alright, persuading the angel into petting him all the while. Which they had both enjoyed. Aziraphale had even praised his glistening scales back then, which is why the serpent had taken so long in his task to actually get anything done.


But his human form, typically covered in some sort of clothing, was rather unexpected.


He did pass for human at first, perhaps even second glance. But to someone really looking, he wasn’t quite right. His spine consisted of too many bones, for starts. Ones far smaller then a human’s. His numerous ribs were plentiful and small as well. It was difficult to tell just what his shoulder bone and pelvis situation was, but it was different to say the least. Then there were the muscles. Appearing apparently at will wherever they felt the need to be. He was, in a word, snake-like. Like someone had taken the two creatures and attempted to meld them together somehow.


Well that was that. The angel knew.


“I wasn’t peaking,” Azira protested. “I merely needed to take your tunic off and make sure you weren’t injured.”



“You passed out for four days! For all I knew someone had gotten you with a poisoned dart!”


“You took care of me for four days?” Crowley tilted his head, feeling rather stupefied.


“It was the right thing to do.”


Crowely smiled. “Again angel, I’m a demon. The right thing to do would have been leaving me for dead.”


“Don’t say that.” Azira quickly whipped his head around to face him, his voice serious. Crowley pulled the blanket tighter around his form to hide it from view. “Don’t you ever say that. You are a living creature, Crowley. No one has a right to leave you for, for- you have every right to be here.” He couldn’t even bring himself to say the word.


“But I’m-”


“No. Crowley,” Aziraphale caught his eyes with his own. “God made you herself. She doesn’t make mistakes.” He could see the demon begin to protest at that, “AH! She doesn’t. Maybe some angels do, but not her.”


Crowley wanted to protest that obviously She had. That he shouldn’t have been kicked out of heaven just for hanging around the wrong people, but this didn’t seem like the right moment for it.


“Her plans are ineffable- don’t you roll those pretty eyes at me- for all we know you’re still part of Her plans.”


Crowley shrank back even more. He had never wanted to hide so much in all his life.


“Please Crowley, why were you asleep for so long? I was so worried.” He didn’t like how Crowley shrank back, seemed nervous in his own skin.


“Snakes don’t eat like humans do.” He admitted softly. “They- we- eat once and depending on the size of the meal, fall asleep. Sssometimes hibernate.” It had been a rather big meal for him.


The angel felt so relieved. It was just natural for him then.


“Now,” Aziraphale took in a slow breath. “I gave into your temptation. So now I shall charge you with a virtue.” He smiled, genuinely smiled. He was going to do everything in his power to make Crowley good again.


He would of course fail. But as the almighty would say, climb every mountain.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2


As far as demons go, Crowley was by far one of the better ones, or worse ones, depending on how you looked at it. Simply put, he just wasn’t evil enough compared to most demons.


Any sin was worth tempting a human into, but the seven deadly sins were always the best. But where one demon might tempt a person with lust, Crowley would do so in a more morally ambiguous manor. Another demon might tempt a man to cheat on his wife, perhaps with someone else’s wife at that. Two birds one stone after all. But Crowley might merely tempt someone into looking at pornography. In his defense, he tempted them with the really weird stuff, but still.


The problem with sins is that they were invented rather a long time ago, time being a relative thing and all that. There was once a time where good was good and evil was very obviously not good. Murder. Now there was a decent sin everyone could agree upon. But then someone went and had the first instance of ‘self defense.’ Which doesn’t sound all that bad, most angels and coincidentally humans had decided. But this gave way to Moral Ambiguity. Something Crowley relished in. The rules had been written with no room for updates or changes. Crowley had seen right away that this was a glaring problem, and as marvelous as the written word was, the demon often wondered if the humans were really making a mistake with this new invention. But there is was, the space between the line, a world not made of black and white but rather many shades of grey. Demons couldn’t accuse him of not doing his job and Aziraphale couldn’t be too cross with him.

This gave way for humans to choose if they wanted to go further down the road of sinning or take it back a few steps. Crowley was all for choice.


It wasn’t that he liked humans or anything. Lets not be ridiculous, they were vermin after all. But rather, he didn’t exactly hate them. Some people don’t like dogs, but that doesn’t mean they want to kill them all or even wish harm on them. It was just that they are loud, messy creatures that crave attention and don’t clean up after themselves. Dogs aren’t much better either, Crowley figured.


But mostly, he just liked pissing them off. He was quite talented at that.


Which was why as he passed down the street, No Parking signs tended to shift where they were placed and show up near parked cars, red painted curbs extending just a bit further, and parking meters sped up. Some demons saw this as petty nonsense, but after all, wrath was a sin too and he was certainly leading people into it.


“Aziiiraaa,” He called out as he slipped into the bookshop, a large and carefully packaged parcel under his arm.


The angel had checked the shop moments earlier and found it empty. It really was a bother to bring over the ladder whenever he needed to file a book away on a high shelf and so he took the opportunity to hover up higher and put the book away. This was of course when the serpent, ever reeking havoc for him, struck again.


Crowley was only aware of a sharp and sudden yelp followed by the sound of several books and perhaps a person falling to the ground.

“ZIRA!” He rushed to the source of the sound, finding the angel buried in a small pile of books. Aziraphale had panicked at the sound of someone entering and forgot to float for a moment, grabbing a shelf in his haste.


Crowley sighed and shook his head, setting the ornately decorated take away box down. “You’re utterly helpless, you know that?” He helped neatly stack the books and miracle a few torn pages back into place.


“Oh Crowley, you gave me such a start.” He brushed his cream coat off. “Sneaking up on me like that.”

Crowley huffed, “I did nothing of the sort. Maybe you shouldn’t be doing magic where anyone might see.” He helped the angel up. “Just miracle the book up next time.”

“You know very well there’s a system and they need to be filed accordingly. I can’t very well miracle it up there unless I know its right where its suppose to be.” Really, what an absurd suggestion.


Crowley was on his best behavior as he nodded, pretending that Aziraphale was right. “Of course.” There was only a hint of sarcasm.


“I’ve really made quite the mess.” Aziraphale sighed as he looked around, now several books needed putting away. His eyes caught sight of the box Crowley had brought him. Perhaps he could pretend he hadn’t noticed it.


But it was too late, Crowley had followed his line of sight. “See something you like?”


“You’re a foul and dastardly demon.” His stomach gave a pitiful small growl.


Crowley picked up the box and opened the lid just enough to let the sweet warm aromas escape. “I brought several of your favorites.” He purred.


Aziraphale let his tongue jet out just a bit to swipe tantalizingly at his lower lip. “There isn’t an éclair in there, is there?”


“Not just any éclair, the finest any mortal pastry chef can craft. Covered in Teuscher chocolate,” He extenuated the word for emphasis, “From Zurich, Switzerland.”


“Ah…” Aziraphale was biting at his lip.


“And the filling- Oh Aziraphale- the filing is simply divine. Melts in your mouth like creamy sweet lava.”


“Crowleeey…” He wanted to tear his gaze away from the box, truly he did. But it just sounded so lush.


“Would you like to see it?” Crowley teased, knowing just what he was doing.


“N-no… no, I… I shouldn’t.”


“Just a peak? It can’t hurt to peak.” He looked in himself and had a devilish smile. “Oh what’s this? A Scharffen Berger, ooh a Jacques Torres. My goodness, is this from Valrhona-”


“Serpent…” The word came out as suspiciously moan like. “You must have been all over the city tracking all those down.”


“Much further then that, angel.” He delighted in Aziraphale’s surprise. “And that’s just the chocolates. The breads, the creams, warm and filling. Buuut, if you really don’t want them I can just toss them out.”


“AH!” Azira lurched forward at that, concern written all over his face that the demon might really commit such horrors. “I don’t think that’s really necessary.”


“Oh?” Crowley stepped closer with the parcel, holding it up closer for Azira to smell. “Feeling peckish?”


It was one thing that Crowely was tempting him like this, but why did he have to drag it out so much? “Just a bite.”

“Just a bite?” Crowley smiled and dug out the éclair, holding it up to Aziraphale’s lips.


Aziraphale hated that. Hated that Crowley was always trying to feed him himself instead of letting Aziraphale eat on his own. Hated how embarrassing it was and how it gave the demon the power to control if he was offered more or not. Hated how much he loved it. He let out a hot breath as he opened his lips for the demon. Crowley held the éclair closer, his eyes gleaming behind his sunglasses as he watched.


The angel let out a muffled moan as he let it fill his mouth. It was as rich and decadent as Crowley had promised. The warmth of it filled him, swarmed his senses. He could feel a dab of that exquisite cream was still on his lips as he swallowed.


“Ah, here.” Crowley gently swiped the cream with his thumb before consuming it.


Aziraphale leaned closer, lips parting again for him.

“So wanton.” Crowley teased, pulling the pastry back. That little whine the angel made sent a thrill through him. “Oh dear, it would be so wrong of me to let you have more. You did say only a bite, didn’t you?”


“Crowley please…” His face was burning. Just one more, maybe two. That was all he needed.


“Such a naughty angel, where’s your self restraint?” He held the pastry up for him again but as Azirphale went to sink his teeth in, he pulled it just out of reach.


Aziraphale huffed, “Just feed me already.” He was practically pleading.


And the angel loved this part too.


“But my angel, wouldn’t you be more comfortable sitting down?”


“You’re tricking me into temptation…” He had the starting of a pout as he moved towards the chair at his desk.


“Of course I am.” Crowley knew this wouldn’t stop him. “Perhapsss-” he stopped Azirphale, standing in his path. “Laying down is better?”


“You’re trying my patience…” He whined, just wanting his treats already.


“Patience is a virtue though, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.”


“That’s just an expression,” Azira mumbled as he was sheparded off to his bedroom. With a flick of his wrist the bookshop door locked, the sign flipping over by a miraculous interior breeze to read ‘Closed.’




“This is weird.” Aziraphale was propped up against a few pillows lying across his bed. “Why can’t I sit in a chair?” His coat had been hung up and his shoes neatly put aside.


“This is cozier.” Crowley was sitting up on the bed looming just above him. “Much more comfortable.” He held the éclair just above his mostly reclined angel.


Azira craned his neck up but couldn’t quite reach it.


“Ah you’re so close.” Crowley teased.


Aziraphale, feeling a tad annoyed, lifted himself up a bit more to take a bite. As soon as that flaky, buttery bread hit his tongue, his eyes closed in bliss. All previous concerns melting away with the creamy interior and chocolate exterior.


Crowley lowered the dessert as the angel ate, allowing him to lay back a bit more.


“How is it?”


Ooooh Crowley…” He tried to think of the words but they didn’t come. He was far too occupied with eating it.


Crowley’s features softened as he smiled down at him. “That good, huh?” His mouth was starting to water a bit. He told himself it was because Azira made the éclair look so tasty. “There you are. You must be ssso hungry.” He praised as the treat disappeared.


Azira had finished it off before he knew it, his tongue reaching out for more as it neatly cleaned the excess from Crowley’s fingers.




“Always,” Azira let out a shuddering breath.


Crowley pressed a small chocolate to those cherub lips, delighting in their soft touch. Azira purred around the bite, hard outer shell splitting between his teeth as the caramel flowed out thick and salty over his tongue.


“You’re quite the sight,” The words were low and went unnoticed, the demon’s hands gliding down to gently massage at Azira’s stomach.


“AH!” Aziraphale squirmed away from the touch. “What are you-”


Crowley blinked, “I’m just- but, you like it when I do that. You use to love it.” He was a bit hurt. Aziraphale had never stopped him the last time, though that had been a long time ago.


“That was before,” He swallowed the chocolate awkwardly.


“I thought you liked it…” He was trying very hard not to pout. He was only trying to help Aziraphale not get cramps.


“I do,” The angel admitted softly. “But that was then… things are different now.” His eyes looked away. “I’m different now.”


Crowley tilted his head, trying to find some sort of meaning in this.

“Its not you, dear boy… its… its me. I’m soft.” There was a slight wine to his voice.

Crowley’s brow scrunched in confused understanding. “You mean… you’re a bit bigger now?”


“Its more then a bit, dear.” He wanted to curl up into a ball, pull a sheet over himself and hide from those ever watching yellow eyes. At least he hadn’t been cruel about it like Gabriel had. Which was a bit surprising given the demon’s disposition to constant teasing.


Crowley took in a thoughtful breath, his gaze never leaving Aziraphale’s form. “Perhaps.” He slid a hand over Azira’s velvety vest buttons, ignoring a protesting shout of his name as he did so. He even liked how the angel tried squirming a bit from that. He pushed down harder, pining the angel there till he went still. “Its not bad though.” He drew closer. “It suits you, Zira. Being… plush.”


Aziraphale wondered if he could be discorporated from embarrassment alone, but given that he was still there, he figured it wasn’t possible. He had been trying his hardest to ‘suck it in’ as it were, as Crowley pinned him. “You’re just saying that…” He whispered.


“You can have me sooth your stomach now or wait till I’ve stuffed you so much that your buttons pop off and you’re begging for it.” Crowley shrugged. “Its up to you. But really, Azira,” He spread his palm over his stomach, almost possessively. “I don’t care if you’ve developed a bit of chub. Besides, it suits you.”


Aziraphale was burning red at those words.


Crowley brought out a small silver fork and pierced it through a morsel of crème brulee then up to Aziraphale’s mouth. “So, what will it be, angel?”


Azira looked at him nervously, “You wouldn’t really let my buttons pop off my waistcoat, would you?” He finally risked a peak at where Crowley was still holding him down.


“Not if you didn’t want it.”

“Make sure they don’t then.” He enclosed his mouth around the edge of the fork, his tongue sliding excitedly over the caramelized hard top of the tart with great satisfaction. Every bite was a new delight that let his worries slip away a little bit more. “You can do it, Crowley… sooth me there.”


A smile splayed over the demon’s face as he slowly started.


“But,” The angel hadn’t finished, “Only if you take off your sunglasses.”


Crowley stopped for a moment. He really didn’t like taking them off, but finally he folded them up to stash on the nightstand beside them. “Why?” He couldn’t help but wonder.


Aziraphale was just finishing the crème brulee off and took a moment to respond. “I like your eyes.”


“They’re ridiculous.” God’s other mistake, he often thought.


“They’re beautiful- mmph!” Azira was cut off by a raspberry ganache being pressed into his mouth, he had hardly finished it when it was quickly followed by a passion fruit curd and the softest milk tea cake he’d ever had the pleasure of tasting, which elicited a very exquisite moan from him. “Slow down!” He could hardly keep up with it all, his head was swimming in so many fine flavors. “These are too rich for me.”


“Back to complaining now?” Crowley tisked, noticing already how much rounder Azira was already feeling under his hand. “Don’t you dare pretend you don’t love this.” He was holding a mango glazed treat just out of rich for him.


“There’s just so many sweets.” Azira tried catching it with his teeth but missed.


“It’s your just desserts.” Crowley grinned. He waited for Aziraphale to give up, lean back against the bed and open his mouth as he waited for Crowley to place it gently on his tongue.


“Very clever,” Aziraphale rolled his eyes at the jest. “What else is in there?” He tried peaking in the box but Crowley pressed him back down into the mattress.


“You greedy thing.” He pulled out a cream stuffed cannoncini to distract him with.


Aziraphale was half way through the spiraled cinnamon treat when his eyes clenched shut in pain, a dreadful sound escaping him.


“Shhh, I have you. Shhh.” He could feel how stretched the angel’s vest had become. “Keep going, just a few more bites, that’s right.” The buttons were already so close to being done for. It was a shame he had promised not to let them pop off. But still, this was going to be fun.


“It’s too tight,” Aziraphale’s breaths were struggling. His hands feebly went to undo the waistcoat but they were shoed away quickly.


“I have you.” The fabric was too taught against him now. A serpentine smile came over Crowley’s features. “Hold on, I’ll have to push a bit.” There was clearly amusement in his voice. He pressed down on Aziraphale’s stuffed belly, garnering him a deep groan from the angel as he tried undoing the buttons. “These fussy things.”


“Pleeease Crowley! Ahhh, it’s tooo much!” Why hadn’t he just taken it off before hand? He wouldn’t have put it past that old serpent that he had planned for this. “Ooooh…” The pressure was just so much.


“Almost have it.” He pressed as deep as he could into that wonderful expanse until he finally managed to free the angel of his bounds. He let it hang unceremoniously open, only his shirt covering him now, and that was beginning to look rather snug too. “Here,” He passed a glass of water to him, knowing he would foolishly accept it and drink as much as he could. “Better?” He could feel the volume of food resettling inside of Azira.


Aziraphale nodded, finally realizing the water only expanded him that much more. “Oh, you tricked me.”


“Hush, you needed it.” Crowley had a new mission now. One that wasn’t a possibility back in Rome. “You’re doing so well. Almost done now.”


Azira let out a hiccup. “You want me to eat more??” It was incredulous.

“Oh no, of course not. Its you that wants to eat more.” He flashed his best innocent smile.


“I’m already cramping…”


“Very well,” Crowley passed the box up to Aziraphale so he could use both his hands to gently rub that growing mound. “Sit up just a bit?”


Azira did as told, causing his shirt to tighten that much more against his chub.


“That’s ah, fuuck, that’s perfect Zira. Just like that.” With out realizing it, he had positioned himself right between the angel’s parted legs.


There was a scrumptious black berry pudding in a cup that Crowley noted made his shirt stretch that much more. He praised him reverently through it and several more confections. Finally Azira’s head lolled back, he was faintly aware that the painful tightness was back again. His bow tie had already been tossed to the side.


He let out a mournful moan. “I’m done. I just cant anymore.” Crowley’s massaging felt simply divine on his stuffed belly though.


“One more? Azira, for me? I can tempt you into one more thing you voluptuous angel.”


Azirphale’s head was spinning. He was only vaguely aware that Crowley was being some sort of overly invested tease. He checked the box one last time, fairly certain it would be the death of him. “I just caaaant.” He whined. “I’m so full Crowely. I’ve never been this full. Its worse now… being… softer. There’s so much more in me.”


“Allow me?” Crowley, who was practically pressed against him now, slithered back up. “Oh angel,” He purred, “This is the best one.”


Aziraphale groaned as Crowley pressed a spoonful of chocolate soufflé to him. “I… I… No. No Crowley. I cant. I wont.” His eyes were pressed closed.


“Its still so warm and gooey, angel.” He took a bite of it himself and made an exaggerated moan at the taste. “Oh you’re missing out, this really was the best one in there. Powdered sugar sprinkled over the top, I know how you love that.”


“Bastard.” Aziraphale clenched his jaw, shocked at himself for cursing.


“Its just a bite-” It was never just a bite. “Just one spoonful to try it, you really must.” He teased his hand down that expanse of midsection thoughtfully. “Please, my bountiful angel? You’re so pretty. So gorgeous.”


He lurched forward a tad and let Crowley feed him the spoonful. But that hadn’t been the end of it. He was the king of lies, of deception.


“My sweet angel, that’s right, almost done.” He was whispering the praises. “So close now. So- so- God, angel…”


Aziraphale choked down that last spoonful when the pain had become too much. In an instant Crowley was back to his methodic caresses but it had been a moment too late. The angel’s shirt buttons had popped off, scattering across the bed. His silken skin was exposed.


“Gluttonousss angel,” Crowley hissed. “Look what you’ve done.”


Aziraphale was mildly mortified. It would have been much worse though if it wasn’t for the fact that he could tell Crowley was very much enjoying this.


“You’ve made ssssuch a messs of yourself. But I’ll make it better.” He cooed, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt as he greedily coveted the sight. “You’re ssso packed, Zira.”


At least it was over, Azira sighed. He sank down into the bed, knowing standing would be too much of an effort now. Crowley, as strange as he was acting, would at least take care of him now. There was nothing more to worry ab- “OWW CROWLEY!!” He squirmed in desperation. “DEMON!”


Crowley was pressing down against him, desperately wanting to see how his angel would react to the pressure. “You’re sstill rather pliant.” He said rather dreamily. “Just look at thisss.” He cupped Azira’s sides which made his stomach feel like it was flopping inside.


“Stop Crowley… You’ve had your fun.” He groaned, starting to feel dreadful. “Just- just do that thing where you make it feel better. Please?”


“You’re so fussy.” Crowley cooed, his hands going back to their gentle massages. “You’re really big this time though. So overly pampered.”


Aziraphale would have protested that, tried to make himself feel better about the demon’s words, but there was such content in Crowley’s eyes. The demon, however strange as it seemed, sounded as if he were giving him a compliment.


“Lovely angel, lay back. Close your eyes.” He helped Aziraphale all the way down. “Go on, fall asleep. I’ll be here.”


Aziraphale was feeling rather exhausted from this. He didn’t think he’d even fall asleep feeling so disgustingly full, but no sooner had he closed his eyes, he was fast asleep.


Crowley occupied himself for a long time with caressing him, easing the pain out, and when he was certain the angel was out, pressing a few kisses to that beautifully voluptuous belly, still whispering his praises to him.




Aziraphale woke some time later to a rather painful bout of indigestion. For a brief moment he was wondering why Crowley wasn’t doing his job to make him feel better.


“Oh, poor dear.” He found his deceptively caring demon was curled up beside him on the bed, emitting a low and frequent hissing sound in lou of snoring. He couldn’t help but think the fallen angel had never looked so peaceful before. “Sweet thing.” He gently brushed a hand through Crowley’s hair.


Azirphale tried sitting up slowly as to not wake his friend. The dessert box was still beside them both but was now empty, despite there being a few items still in there when he first fell asleep. He smiled at the sleeping figure beside him. “You always liked milk tea cakes.” The sleepy serpent must have eaten them before passing out.


Another cramp was starting up. Azirphale moaned quietly and caressed his stomach gently. He had no idea how he had let Crowley trick him into this. It hurt, for one. But it wasn’t exactly fair to blame the demon entirely. It didn’t help that Crowley was so damn thin and beautiful. It made him wonder what the demon was up to in doing this to him.


“Don’t sleep for too long.” He whispered, his hand lingering down Crowley’s side till he finally tore himself away from the bed.


It was time to get dressed and probably open the bookshop back up. He let his newly ruined shirt fall to the floor as he took it off, deciding he would miracle it later, and found a new one to put on. “Cripes,” He went red at the discovery that this new shirt wasn’t going to fit. He had gotten it on but it wasn’t coming close to buttoning up. He bit at his lower lip and ran a hand down his gorged midsection. They really had over done it this time. He sighed as he caught a glimpse of himself in his mirror. He looked absurd. At least it was only because he hadn’t fully digested it all yet. Miracling his clothes to fit wasn’t ideal, but it had to be done.


Azirphale took another look at Crowley, who had used a pillow to curl against in his absence. He just looked so peaceful, he couldn’t disturb him. Still, there were things to be done. The angel scrawled out a note and left it beside the sleeping serpent to alleviate any concerns he might have upon awaking.


Chapter Text

Chapter 3


Crowley stirred in his sleep, feeling the soft plushness tucked tight against his lithe form. He let his hands sink in and let out a highly content sigh at the pillow like consistency. He was fairly certain he could even feel a few downy soft feathers against his fingers. Angel feathers, his mostly asleep mind supplied. “ ‘Feel so nice, Zira.” He murmured into the pillow he was clutching. Something told him that the texture wasn’t quite right somehow and he finally opened his eyes with a yawn. He huffed and tossed the pillow aside when he realized that was what he had been cuddled up to.


The emptiness of the bed was starting to loom over him now. Aziraphale must have gotten up. Crowley stretched his long spine and rolled his shoulders before the slits of his yellow eyes slid over. He stilled as he saw the note on the bed beside him, knowing Azirphale must have left it.


It said, something. Something important, he figured, or the angel wouldn’t have felt the need to leave it. His forehead creased as the thin slits of his eyes tried focusing on the long thin lines of ink. It was signed, he was certain, by Aziraphale. He recognized the general shape of the angel’s signature. The first word was definitely “I.” This didn’t leave him with much to go on. Though, it was probably his own fault, he realized. He had always nodded and pretended to understand as Aziraphale talked about books and plays and such things. He had gone along with it all as if he knew what the angel was talking about. For nearly 6,000 years it had hardly ever been a problem. When people would discover his secret, it was often covered with some good samaritan making excuses for him. “Most people cant read!” The world was vastly illiterate for so long that people simply never questioned it. But eventually, that caught up with him. Everyone, it seemed, could read. Even small children could read. Everything was on paper in print. Small print, at that. People always assumed that was the work of hell, but Crowley knew it wasn’t. As clever as it was, he couldn’t have invented the concept of ‘fine print.’ He simply didn’t have the eyes for it.


If the words weren’t big and bold, and preferably in comic sans- which the demon had in fact invented- he struggled like no other to read it. Snake eyes were a far cry from human’s.


He ran his fingers over the raised ink. Of course Aziraphale couldn’t have used a ballpoint pen like a normal person. No, he had to use some over the top quill of course. He hated to think what the letter might say. Telling him off for pushing Azira to far, telling him he had had enough and was returning to heaven- which didn’t seem likely. But it was the not knowing that ate away at him.


He clutched the letter tight in his hands. If Aziraphale wasn’t in the shop, perhaps he could find someone else to read it to him. Crowley crept down stairs and immediately heard voices.


“Gabriel! This is- well, this is very unexpected. Its um, been a while-” There was the sound of Aziraphale’s seat squeaking a bit.


“You’re still sitting?” There was a command of power in his voice that made Crowley’s blood boil.


Somehow he even preferred Beelzebub over this prick ‘angel.’ He didn’t even deserve to be described as that, he was nothing like Aziraphale. Crowley had grown accustomed to hiding from angels, especially in Azira’s presence. But now that the apocalypse had come and gone and the truth about their association was out, there seemed little point. He slipped down the stairs and into the backdrop of the book store. He had a much keener angle then Gabriel had, he immediately noticed.


“Ah- well,” Aziraphale was struggling to explain. “I- I would stand, of course, its, its just that-” He couldn’t very well lie to another angel, could he??


Crowley smirked, seeing the problem. Aziraphale was stuffed. Practically immobilized. Not that Gabriel could see that from in front of his desk. Crowley was beginning to wonder if his more then soft angel had even miracled his chair to wedge himself in. There was a nice thought. Feeding Azira until he was stuck in a chair.


“Well, Aziraphale?” Gabriel loomed closer, demanding an answer to Azira’s insubordination. His eyes began sizing the lesser angel up. “Have you gained weight again?”


“It’s just that he doesn’t want to, on account that you’re a giant prick, is all.” Crowley stepped forward, making his presence known. “And generally has a lack of respect for you.” He added for good measure. This was the scum that had told Aziraphale to ‘shut up and die already’ with a smirk. He wanted him dead.


Aziraphale was horrified on multiple accounts.


Gabriel’s glare turned to focusing on Crowley. “You’re that demon.” He didn’t say ‘demon’ in the way Aziraphale did. When Azira said ‘demon,’ his voice might go down an octave, sometimes it was even an insult, but never a serious one. There had always been an air of fondness, of jest. But when Gabriel said it, the word dripped with poison. As if the very word alone was damning in and of its self.


“I am.” Crowley placed his hands on his hips.


“Twice disgraced. No one’s fallen as far as you have.” Gabriel’s words were like daggers. “So far gone that you’re on no one’s side.”


Crowley’s teeth were clenching so hard he was afraid he might crack a tooth. “We’re on our side.” The winning side, the thought allowed him to have a slight serpent smile. They had won, after all.


Gabriel made a dismissive grunt at him before turning back to Aziraphale. “The council is willing to hear your side.” There was something about his words that seemed forced. “They believe that you were tricked, perhaps pushed against your will to act as you did. There’s never been a twice fallen before, so they are willing to accept that he was too much for one angel to handle.”


This was absurd, Crowley thought. You can’t fall twice. Hell was as low as it went. If anything he fell and then rose up half way. Hardly the same thing at all.


Azira cleared his throat. “Crowley is not too much for me to handle.”


“He’s been running amok causing havoc, tempting all sorts-”


Crowley nodded in agreement with the charges. All in a good day’s work. “He’s absolutely right you know.”


Aziraphale had to suppress a smile at Crowley’s words, especially as he noticed the demon had a slight case of bed hair on one side.


“Yes, but I’ve been handling him.” The angel replied cordially.


“I’m warning you, Aziraphale.” Gabriel’s words were sharp. He was done with these games. “You can come plead to the council and tell them what a stupid naïve angel you are for falling to that serpent’s whim, or you’ll be fallen and damned just like the rest of his lot. Just look at you, fat dumpy angel, they’ll believe you fell for all his praises. I’m giving you a chance. Take it.”


Crowley’s palms were starting to bleed from where his nails were fisted into them. He could feel his whole body trembling with rage. He would kill him. He would kill that disgusting disgrace of an angel.


Aziraphale stood, his hands holding the edge of his desk with white knuckles as he supported himself against it. “You and the council don’t decide who is fallen.” He reminded him. “Only God herself can decide that.” He knew he was on exceptionally thin ice here either way. There truly were angels that had fallen for less then what he had and currently was doing. “I’m-“ His voice trembled just a bit. “I’m not going back. I have no reason to speak to the council. Like Crowley said-” This was certainly sin.


“You’re turning your back on heaven?!” This was unheard of! “You’re not a demon, Aziraphale. You’re hardly even a soldier of heaven. They would eat you alive!”

“We’re on our own side. Not Hell’s. Not Heaven’s. So you may consider this as my resignation.”


“We’re not done here.”


Aziraphale wanted to dispute that but that was when Gabriel’s gaze finally dropped to Azira’s form. He was expecting some horrible cutting remark about his weight. That he was ‘as fat as he was stupid’ or some awful thing. But it was so much worse. Gabriel’s lips turned up in a smirk at him as he shook his head.


“I’ll be reporting to the council,” The amusement was still in his voice.


Crowley had found a knife and tossed it fiercely at Gabriel, but he was gone in a cloud of smoke before it reached him. The knife instead lodged its self in one of the bookcases. “I’ll get him next time.” He muttered.


That was when Crowley heard the single worst sound in the entire universe. A sound so utterly horrible that it threatened to destroy all of reality, or at least Crowley felt that way as he heard it, for it was a sound that should never exist. It was an angel crying.


He ran to him. Crowley quickly caught his angel from behind and eased him back into his wooden swivel chair and turned him around to face him. “No no no, angel. It’s ok. I’m here, I’m here.” He made several gentle shushing sounds as he pressed Azira against him. He could feel his shirt starting to soak through with the angel’s tears. It was a harrowing sound, a devastating one that might bring entire nations down. It sounded, at first, rather like a schoolgirl who had been dumped by the boy she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. The boy, in this case, being heaven.


“Hey, angel-”


“I’m not even sure if I am an angel anymore,” Aziraphale sobbed out, hardly able to breathe, not that he really needed to.


“You are though,” Crowley shut his eyes tight, one hand pressed firm to Azira’s back and the other gently on the back of his head against his hair. He had been an angel too, a long time ago. “You’re my angel. No matter what anyone else says. You’ll always be my angel.”


Aziraphale pressed closer against him.


“Heaven isn’t that great anyway. Too many bright lights. Shitty music. They don’t even have ducks! Can you imagine not going to feed the ducks anymore? Or waking up to a big breakfast?” Crowley gently stroked Azira’s hair.


“I don’t even like heaven all that much.” Azira sniffled out pathetically.


“There you go! A bunch of right asses they are! Earth is much nicer, I always thought so.” He had ever since the Garden.


“He… he called me fat… and stupid.” Azira pressed into him again, eyes as tight as ever.


Crowley held him tighter. “He’s just a jerk.” He tucked a bit of hair behind Azira’s ear and gently fiddled with a few other curls. “He was just trying to upset you. You’re the smartest angel- smartest anything really- that I’ve ever known. You never ‘fell for my tricks’, if anything I fell for yours.”


But Azira was still crying. Crowley let out a breath. So it was the other thing then. “You’re not…” He pressed his cheek to the top of Aziraphale’s head and tucked him against his chest. “You’re not fat.” He could feel the angel going a bit still. “You need to digest, obviously.” He let the hand on Aziraphale’s back slip around to gently cup his mid section. “But honestly, angel. Its not that big a deal. You’re as pretty as the day you were created.”


Crowley’s heart was breaking as he heard the angel sniffling.


Aziraphale had fisted his hands in Crowley’s shirt and was having an impossible time regaining his composure. He knew he should stop. He wanted desperately to stop. But the tears kept coming, which led to his awful gasping sobs. He was an angel. He couldn’t just stop being one now. Plus he was sure he looked like a pathetic crying mess in front of Crowley.


“I don’t think,” He let out another gasp, “Anyone has ever looked so pathetic after leaving heaven.” Crowley was too good to him for still holding him, letting him get all his disgusting earth fluids on his nice shirt. “How did all those demons make it look so… so… cool?” He looked up at Crowley with his big tear filled blue eyes.


Crowley gave him a sad smile and pet his hair. “It wasn’t ‘cool,’ Zira. Hell, the way you did it, said it so calmly like your were quitting a job that was beneath you… that was cool.” He pressed a kiss to the top of the angel’s head. “I’ll bet he’ll be stewing about that for a long time.” He gently brushed away some of the tears on Azira’s cheek. “And no, angel. You’re far from the only one to cry after leaving. You should have seen Beelz… they were a mess.”


Aziraphale sniffled a bit more and scrunched his brow, “Beelzebub the demon? Cried?”


“Like a baby. And they’re the Lord of Hell now. Still a bit of crier sometimes…”


“I don’t want to be the Lord of Hell!” Aziraphale was trembling a bit at the thought.


Crowley couldn’t help but chuckle at the outburst. “Don’t worry, I don’t think you’ll be nominated.”


“Hell was horrible… all those people, demons, just… just… milling about! Absolutely crowded! And the walls! Crowley the walls! There were signs on them that said-”


“It was one time! You go and try to smell something and suddenly everyone thinks you’re the weird guy licking the walls!”


“I- what?” Azira had managed to pry one of his hands from Crowley’s shirt in order to rub at his eyes.


“N-nothing… snake thing, smell with our tongues. Look, my point is, neither of us are going to hell ever again. I’m going to protect you, Zira. I swear it. I’ll kill Gabriel for you next chance I get.”


“No Crowley,” His other hand dropped down as he blew into his sleeve a bit. “You don’t have to kill him. I-” He was going red again, but it was the mantra he often told himself. “I’m a big angel and I can take care of myself.”


Crowley smiled and pulled him into another hug. “I know you are. A big scary angel that once tried to fight Satan himself with a flaming sword. Outwitted the evil one at every opportunity, even dared to pet him in serpent form, and helped to bring down the antichrist and stop Armageddon. You are the scariest angel there ever was as well as the coolest to tell heaven to fuck off.”


Aziraphale had a small smile as he squirmed a bit in the embrace. “Crowleeey… that’s not exactly how that happened.”


“It is though, its all true, and that’s exactly how it will be remembered. Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, wielder of the flaming sword, booper of great snoots-”


Aziraphale giggled, “I don’t even know what that last one means.” How that dastardly demon ever thought he wasn’t also kind was beyond him.


“Come on Zira,” He offered the angel his hand to help him stand up. “Lets get you cleaned up.”




Crowley led Aziraphale by the hand into the small dim lit bathroom. It didn’t quite suit his tastes nor their current needs. The room stretched out around them, the linoleum floor turning into marble.

“I’m not sure that really fits, dear, and have you ever stepped on wet marble? Terribly slippery.”

Crowley grumbled something as the marble changed into tile.


Aziraphale shrugged off his coat and vest and began rolling up his sleeves as he stood in front of the sink.


“Nope,” Crowley gently took him by the shoulders to turn around.


“But I thought I was going to be washing up?”


“Yes, but it’s more then your hands and eyes that need washing. A claw-foot bath? Really?”

“Its classic.” Aziraphale pouted a bit, he thought Crowley of all people would have appreciated it.


“Yea but it’s got no you know- those fancy jet things?”


“You mean a hot tub? Those aren’t for indoors.”


“They have been for ages, angel.” He sighed, Aziraphale was never up with the times. “And don’t be so pouty, fine fine, claw feet look nice. Just, that’s better.” The bathtub suddenly had water jets in it, despite them not being attached to anything.


“That’s an antique, Crowley. Please leave at least a few of my things alone?”


Crowley rolled his eyes and the jets disappeared. “Fine, but you’re missing out.” He turned one of the handles on.


“Have I missed something? Am I taking a bath now?” He shifted a bit nervously.


“It will help relax you.” Crowley rifled through the cabinet and found several bath oils and salts. He wasn’t surprised in the least that his pampered angel was well stocked on those.


“Perhaps… but, well, I’m not sure I want to be alone right now is all.” He focused on the ground, pretending the new floor tiles were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

“That’s fine, I wasn’t planning on leaving anyway.” He put a small wooden bench by the bath and rolled his sleeves up.


Aziraphale was dumbfounded as he stared at him. “C-Crowley you can’t stay in here as I- You do understand how baths work, right?” He was already a little hot beneath the collar.


“You say that like you didn’t take a bath in front of all of hell a week ago.” Crowley smirked.


That was entirely different and you know it.” Aziraphale huffed.


“And how is that?”

“As if you don’t know- so petulant. First of all, I was wearing your body, not mine, if you’ve forgotten. Plus I was still wearing your under garments-”


Crowley snickered at the mention of Aziraphale wearing those.


Aziraphale was back to pouting. “And I was being forced to. It was a execution, I’m not some exploitive person who goes about doing that sort of thing normally.”


“No one said you couldn’t wear your own under things this time.” Crowley was still picturing Aziraphale in his under clothes, except this time in Azira’s own body.


“True, but it would still be in this body.” He sat on the edge of the tub and turned the faucet off, his face riddled with worry.


Crowley added some of the oils and salt to the bath, which caused a powerful aroma. “So? There aren’t any demons here to see you,” He caught the look Azira gave him at that, “Ok, just the one. But I saw you mostly shirtless last night anyway. Besides, I was in your body before and honestly, people all look generally the same anyway.”


“Just… avert your eyes if you will?” Aziraphale began removing his shoes and trousers.


“Fine, fine.” He threw his hands up. “Its not like you didn’t have your peak at me back in Rome.”


“We’ve been over this, it was for your safety.” He folded the article of clothing neatly and set it aside.


“I’m sso sssure.” Crowley lisped, forgetting himself for a moment as he opened his eyes, catching a very unexpected glance at Aziraphale’s sock garters. “Oh wow.”


“CROWLEY!” He was just about to unhook one of them.


Crowley quickly closed his eyes again and pointedly turned around, but there was still an air of amusement in his voice. “Sorry, just, yeow!”


“ ‘yee-ow’?” Not sure I’m following.” He finished off his socks and was folding his shirt up neatly to stash with his trousers.


Crowley shook his head fondly, “Of course you don’t follow, your legs look like the cover of some BDSM magazine.”


Aziraphale rolled his eyes, “There’s nothing BDS- S- oh whatever, about sock garters.” He carefully stepped into the tub. “Ahh hot! Very hot!”


“Go slowly. Here, can I get the cold water for you?” He’d be willing to bet those socks were pure silk too.


“Just a little, keep your eyes down?”


Crowley went to turn the cold water on, doing as he was told with keeping his eyes down when something brushed against his arm.



There was a sound of water splashing a bit before Crowley turned on the cold for a bit then quickly off again, trying to wrack his mind with what that had been, when it came into contact with him again.

He kept his eyes low as he tilted his head towards the water a bit. “What is- WHAT THE-” Crowley stumbled off his stool in a moment of mildly panicked confusion.


Aziraphale quickly submerged himself into the bath, even if it was still a bit too hot for him.


“THAT- That was a-” Crowley’s head was spinning.


“Oh dear… you weren’t supposed to see that. Its, well, its dreadfully embarrassing.”


“Embarrassing?? Aziraphale!! You have a tail!!” He righted himself and tried peaking into the water at it, causing the angel to shift awkwardly in attempts to hide the rest of him self. “There’s no way you had that before! I would have noticed that when we did the whole body swap thing!”


Aziraphale sighed, seeing his friend was not about to drop the topic. “If you must know, I’ve always had it. I just hid it before swapping with you. Angels… aren’t supposed to show any inhuman traits if it can be helped.” Sure there was the few odd angels with scales or other variant traits, but if it can be willed away for even a short period of time or hidden by their clothes, then it was expected of them. Demons on the other hand didn’t believe in such nonsense. They wore their animal traits like a badge of honor.


“You have a bloody tail…” Crowley was still in shock. How had he gone 6,000 years without ever discovering this.


“Yes. I do. Or did you think you were the only one that could change your form into an animals?” The angel smirked.


Crowley blinked his eyes in stunned amazement for a moment. “Well, can I see it? I mean, I already know now, you might as well show me.”


Aziraphale groaned, “Very well, but it’s not at its best now, its all wet.” The golden appendage lifted its self up from the bath for Crowley to see.


“OH.” He carefully took the soaked tip of it in his hand, vaguely aware that Aziraphale was looking away in embarrassment. “It’s a lion’s tail?” He smoothed out the little tuft of blond hair at the end of it.


“Of course it is. I’m a lion.”


“You’re- no, no no no no, this has to be some sort of prank- you? Aziraphale? A rare book dealer and completely pampered angel who wont curse and gets upset because there’s a stain on your coat, is a lion?” This was too unreal. “You could just turn into a lion and eat Gabriel!”


“Crowley that’s horrible, I don’t eat people!”


“Lions do!!” He was exasperated. “I know you don’t. I’m just… I cant believe you’re so mild mannered and a lion.”


“Animals get bad reputations all the time. Lots of misconceptions out there.” Aziraphale gave him a knowing look.


“Yea, that’s true…” He let out a small sigh and put his sunglasses off to the side. “It looks cute on you. A little blond lion tail. You should let it out more, when there’s no one else around, that is.” Crowley slowly slid his hand over the length of it before letting it drop back into the water.


“Now that I’m not going back to heaven, I suppose there’s no rule against it. You should wear your sunglasses less when it’s just me around too.”


“Alright, I’ll try.” Crowley grabbed a washcloth and dipped it into the water, his thin fingers working the fabric up against Aziraphale’s back.


Ahhh, what’s this now?” Aziraphale leaned forward a bit, giving the demon more surface to work with.


“I’m washing you,” Crowley purred, taking delight in the feel of his sudsy angel. The way his hands pressed into Azira’s soft flesh, working the cloth up over his shoulder blades and finally firmly ran up the back of his neck.


Mhmm Crowleeey, that is nice.” His tail flicked just beneath the water’s surface.


Crowley trailed the cloth back down, reaching into the tub this time as he did.


“Ah, that’s awfully low-” Azira nervously pointed out but his body betrayed him in lifting up a bit the follow the demon’s movements.


“I don’t mind,” He smiled


Aziraphale huffed, that wasn’t at all what he had meant by that.


Crowley trailed the cloth firmly over the lion tail, giving it the gentlest of tugs. It elicited a surprising moan from the now mortified angel. Aziraphale quickly pressed his lips shut, silently praying the demon hadn’t heard that. It was embarrassing enough to be nearly naked and on display in the bath for him.


“Oh, like that do we?” He teasingly stroked the fluffy end bit as he stored that tid bit of potentially useful information for later. Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably, not fully trusting his voice at the moment. “You’re such a fussy angel.” He began working on Azira’s shoulders, which helped calm him a bit. “Here I am, pampering you to your hearts content and you have to writhe beneath me.”


A pink flush was creeping over Aziraphale’s skin at that. “I’m not writhing… Crowley why do you always make it sounds so… so…”


“So what, angel?” Crowley gently pulled on his shoulders to pull Aziraphale back against the tub as he looked at him with an expectant grin. Those yellow eyes piercingly watch him squirm.


“It’s too much for me!” Aziraphale covered his eyes for the moment.


Crowley moved his position so he was washing Azira’s front now. Bringing the cloth over his chest and then down again into the water. He was far softer on that side. Positively plush, his mind supplied.


Azira brought his hands back down as he peaked at Crowley working away. “I uh, its still just the food, from last night, you know- I’m not actually- what I mean is- my, my stomach isn’t normally-”


“Plump?” Crowley idly ran his fingers over the swell of Aziraphale’s belly, delighting in how he trembled at it.


Azira wanted to drown himself in the water, so that was what Crowley really thought of him. That he was… plump.


“Angel,” Crowley purred, gently rubbing a circle into that luxurious gut of his now, “I told you already, you’re as beautiful as ever. There’s just nothing wrong with being-” How had Azira worded it? “-soft.” He pressed down teasingly on the apex of the angel’s tum.


Azira squirmed a bit more at that. “It still wouldn’t be so bad if-”


“If you weren’t sssuch a gluttonoussss angel?” Crowley hissed, letting his free hand sink into the water as well now as it grabbed a bit at Aziraphale’s gut.


Aziraphale was stained red from his blush now. “CROWLEY!” A bit of the water splashed out. He wasn’t sure what to be more alarmed at, the way Crowley had grabbed him there, his most hated part of his body, or the way he was calling him gluttonous.


“I do like when you scream my name out.”


Aziraphale was still squirming beneath him, “I know you’re doing that on purpose now, making everything sound so- so-”


Crowley was listening was vested interest.


“Sound of ill repute.” Aziraphale finally settled on.


The demon let out a laugh at that, “Oh Zira, you’re such an angel.” He was still teasing his hand against Azirphale’s pudge, the other idly stroking down his chest. “And perhapsss I am. Would you let me disssgrace you like that?” The hand on his chest slid over to grab one of Aziraphale’s love handles.


The angel wiggled more, “Demon… stop that.” His eyes slid away from Crowley.


“Is that what you want? For me to sstop touching you and teasing you? Sstop tempting you?”


“Foul beast!” His hips jolted up just a bit, his eyes still not meeting Crowley’s.


“Oh sweet angel, that’s not an answer.” He let both hands slide over those gorgeously thick thighs. “Tell me you hate this. Loathe every minute of it.”


“S-stop, please Crowley…” Aziraphale swallowed, his legs parting.

Crowley’s hands stayed where they were but stopped their harassments. “Say ‘Apple Tree’ and I’ll stop. I’ll take my hands away and let you be.”


“N-nooo Crowley, stop that-” Aziraphale’s blue eyes slid back to watch Crowley’s face.


But the demon was unmoving as he smirked at the thrashing angel. “You know what to say if you want me to stop.”


“Serpent!” Azira let out a very shaky breath, “Evil incarnate, unhand me!” He let a small smile play over his otherwise worried features.


“Oh you sssinful thing.” Crowley hissed, repositioning himself so he was closer. He turned his hands to massaging at the unbearably soft insides of those perfect thighs, nails scraping just a bit at him.


Aziraphale let out a breathy gasp. “You’ll never get away with this,” His head lolled back as he was giving into the fantasy. “I’m an Angel! You’ll never have your way with me!”


“Oh but I will!” He pointedly let his hands twist over Aziraphale’s waist, squeezing that sublime arse of Aziraphale’s before teasing back over the swell of his inflated belly. “And do you know why, my stuffed angel?”


“W-why?” Aziraphale could feel himself shaking.


“Becaussse you want it.” The demon whispered. “You want me to tease you and prod at you, sssinful little angel.”


Ahh, nooo, never.” Aziraphale tried not to moan. “You can’t tempt me, serpent. With food or ooohhh, your body.” His mind was telling him what a foolish idiot he was being. That this was the rashest most absurd decision he had ever made in his life.


Crowley smirked, an eyebrow rising. His body? He let his outer clothes dematerialize away, the tub stretched out lengthwise as he kneeled at the edge between those parted legs. His hands flying back to assaulting the angel.


“No Crowley! Stop! Pleeease,” Aziraphale was biting hard at his lip. He let out a surprised yelp as Crowley suddenly grabbed his hips to pull him closer.

“Say it,” Crowley whispered again, “Say Apple Tree.” His hands wandered over that lovely expanse of chest.


“Torturous demon, you’ll never get away with this.” Aziraphale’s voice was soft and filled with pure bliss.


Crowley let his hands glide over the angel’s nipples, thumbs pressing circles into them as they swelled into rounded nubs. “So lussstful.” He pinched at them, pulling a particularly desirous moan from Azirphale. He grabbed at his mid section again. “Almost as much as you are gluttonous.”


Aziraphale’s face was burning. What on earth was he doing?? “N-not gluttonous-”


Crowley grinned. “But you are.” He purred. “The most gluttonous angel I’ve ever seen.” He rubbed fondly at Aziraphale’s middle.


“I-it’s not that bad… just a bit soft is all.” It was a challenge.


“Oh sweet naïve angel. You’re faaar more then simply soft. You’re luxuriously THICK.” The word came out hard. His hands cupped at Azira’s gut. “You’ve just been so indulgent. Making yourself so big.”


Now Azirphale really was writhing beneath him. “N-noo, just been peckish… I could loose it.”


Crowley shook his head fondly, “Naughty angel, you’re much too heavy. Besides, how will you ever hope to loose it when I plan to feed you up so much?”


“You wouldn’t dare,” Azira’s breaths were hot and heavy. “You wont stuff me full, make me indecently huge.”


“Oh but I will. I’ll feed you the most scrumptious things the world has to offer. They’ll be far too delicious for such a pudgy angel to resist. You’ll beg me for more.”


“No, stop, don’t describe them to me!”


“Chocolates that melt in your moth, savory thick cut juicy meats, and delectable sushi. I’ll have to take you to Japan just to stuff the finest cuts of fish there are into you. Smothered in soy sauce. Oh Azira, it will be dripping off your chin as you eat it and I’ll be there to rub your abused belly.”




Crowley’s cock jumped at the sound of his angel cursing, “And do you know what all these rich fine foods will do to you, Azira?”


“Tell me- I MEANT- D-don’t tell me…”


Crowley grinned at that, hardly stifling a small laugh, “All that rich food, caloric ridden food, its going to fill you up, angel. Its going to make this pudge right here,” He grabbed at Azira’s belly, feeling the glorious jiggle of it, “Its going to make it seem like nothing. Your belly will swell up so nice for me,” He pressed down upon it, loving how Aziraphale squirmed and finally releasing him. “Then, ooh angel, you’ll be so big. So… Fat. Just for me.”


Aziraphale’s breath hitched at that word, his chest heaving. Crowley gingerly slapped at the roundest part of his belly, appreciating the bounce to it.

“Oh you’re quite fat now, Zira. All covered in this delicious chub. But I’ll make you so much bigger, fuller, Fatter.”


Aziraphale quickly gripped the sides of the bathtub, his eyes pressing shut at such sinfully arousing talk.


“Would you like that, gorgeous? Being my stuffed pet, filled to the brim? You know I think you’re mistaken about what you are,” He could feel the angel thrusting up against him through their clothes, far too gone to control himself now. “You’re not a lion at all. You just a gluttonous fat cow.” He quickly tugged at Azira’s tail on his last word.


“CROWLEY!!” Aziraphale’s whole body jerked, back arching up out of the water and against the demon. The room was filled with a blinding light and for a moment Crowley could see Aziraphale’s striking white wings splayed out around them both.

“Aziraphale…” He rasped in quiet awe at the sheer beauty of it. His body reacted before his mind as he caught the angel before falling back into the water. The lights dimmed back down and the celestial visage faded out a moment later. “Oh Zira…” The angel was a being of pure light and love and the demon could feel it flowing out through him and through the room, even into himself. He could swear that in that moment, had he wanted to, he could have risen from the sheer purifying powers of it.


“Crowley…” The angel cupped the demon’s face- but no, he wasn’t a demon anymore, not truly. But it was what he had preferred to be known as, so the title stuck. “That was amazing.”


“Oh Zira...” The words couldn’t come to him. It was too radiant to describe. “You’re so perfect. You’re literally a perfect being, all of you.” He knew this to be true.


“So are you, dear.” Aziraphale’s eyes shut, exhaustion finally taking its final hold on him.

Crowley was trying very hard to hold onto this current rapture, but he finally became aware that Aziraphale had in fact, creamed his pants without being touched, and the demon lost him self to giggling.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4


Aziraphale had been sleeping deeply, feeling rather content when he woke up. There were four significant things that he had noticed upon waking. That he had been dried, his hair feeling especially poofy, he had been redressed into his pajamas that he seriously hoped was Crowley doing a miracle and that he didn’t really redress him. He was comfortably placed in his bed, and most notably, he was alone. It was around this time that he was starting to feel really quite embarrassed about the whole bath incident. After all, surely that had meant something, right? Crowley had tempted him with foods before, teased him a bit about it and a few names were strewn about but really, that had been wholly different.


“Crowley?” He wanted to call out but the name died softly on his tongue so that it was no more then a whisper. “A note! He wouldn’t have left without leaving me a note,” He thought, especially after the one he had left the demon that morning. He did hope Crowley had appreciated it too; he had put a great deal of thought into the letter.


Aziraphale looked about and saw a spare piece of paper laying beside the night stand lamp he often used for cuddling up to a good book at night. “Ah!” He knew the demon wouldn’t leave without a word. His eyes scrunched a bit when he saw it.


Watering Plants -C


It was in particularly bad handwriting as well as unnecessarily large, Aziraphale thought. Though come to think of it he had never actually seen Crowley’s handwriting, which honestly surprised him having known him for so long. The angel sighed. He rather wished that his friend had stayed there. Perhaps it was too much to hope to wake up to Crowley snuggled against his side again. That had been rather nice.


There was still a bookshop to maintain, and by Her Good Graces, he was going to do just that.




“Oh dear.” There was a customer. He could see the pair just outside the door and most unfortunately they had spotted him too. “Just a moment,” He tried giving his best smile, but really hoped they hadn’t come to actually buy something. “Ah!” Realization dawned on him as he unlocked the door and could see them better.


Anathema’s eyes lit up at the sight, “Oh! I had no idea- is this your shop? You’re Mr. Fell then?”


“The very one,” He smiled, realizing they hadn’t really spoken that much their previous two meetings, and he very much doubted the dear girl had remembered the second time well.


“Oh, yes? I think we’ve met?” Newt offered his hand to Aziraphale who promptly used both of his to shake it. “It’s a bit fuzzy actually.”


“Ah, no worries there. Oh what have we here?” Aziraphale’s eyes shot up as he saw The Book.


Anathema wondered if the ‘A’ of A. Z. Fell stood for ‘Angel’, it would make rather a lot of sense why the other more grim man kept calling him that. “Well, funny story that. We had actually tried to bur- get rid of it. But its rather indestructible it seems and, well, it might sound odd but I think it’s time has come and gone. I don’t suppose you buy books as well?”


A shop that buys books, now why hadn’t he thought of that? “Today I absolutely do.” The angel smiled longingly at the book of prophecies.


“Its well, a bit out dated now I think.” Newt chimed in, rubbing his arm a tad worriedly.


“All books are eventually. But there’s nothing wrong with that.” Azira smiled, excited to hold the green leather bound book again. It really would be a fantastic addition to his collection.


Anathema glanced around for a moment, which Aziraphale didn’t miss as he brought the heavy volume to his desk, prepared to offer a hefty sum for it.


“Looking for something else?” Oh he did hope she wasn’t looking to buy a book.


“Oh, no, it’s nothing.” She felt as if she had been caught and could still feel the odd man’s eyes on her. “Its just, I was wondering if, your um, the other gentlemen was here? The one in the dark glasses- I was just hoping to thank him for the ride he gave me that night.” She lied, she had simply been curious if such a man really worked in a bookshop too.


“Oh, he, ah, just left actually. But I will gladly tell him you stopped by.” Azira had a small grin, Crowley hated being thanked for good deeds. Really the girl was lucky he hadn’t been in.


“Oh, so he does work here?” She had the starting of a small smile, her suspicions growing more.


“Crowley? Oh ho! No, the dear thing, I sometimes suspect he hates books. Ah, but he’s helped saved mine more then a few times,” He smiled wistfully at the memories. “No, he just stays over sometimes- er- that is, he drops by rather. Yes. He’s a dear friend is all. Just comes by late at night.”


Newt’s eyebrows furrowed together, it was still before noon. “I thought you said he just left-” He was promptly elbowed in the ribs by Anathema.


Azira quickly turned back to the book at hand, “Oh, ahh, and your lovely book? I don’t suppose you already know what you would like for it?” Money might not be much of an object now that he didn’t have to report all his miracles to heaven.


“I have a few questions if you don’t mind.” Anathema was beginning to circle the messy desk. Her eyes noticing a white mug with angel wings on it, one of her eyebrows going up with amusement. Perhaps it was just a pet name between the two of them.


Aziraphale tried not to outwardly groan. “Oh? And what might that be about?”


“What happened exactly? That day at the air base?”


“Oh, that.” He almost sounded relieved. “Well… its all a bit blurry to tell you the truth.” He had never been good at lying, but if neither of them knew for sure what had happened, there was no reason not to believe that he had forgotten as well.


“You and the other fellow with the dark glasses, Crowley was it? How did you know to be there?”


“Oh, we’re always finding ourselves in the right places at the right moments.” Or was it the wrong places at the wrong moments? It was hard to say.


“A rare book shop owner and a- What does your boyfriend do?”

“He- well, he doesn’t really do much actually… AH- He’s not- er-”


“Book dealer and an unemployed man just happened to be there during the End of Days?”


“End of, haha, dear miss, I think you have been reading too many of Agnes’ prophecies.” Aziraphale did hope he sounded sincere.


“And another thing,” She stepped closer, a bit more scrutinizing now. “Your aura. It’s all” She made a chaotic gesture with her hands. ”Wrong.”


“I beg your pardon, there is nothing wrong with my aura, thank you very much.” He straightened his coat a bit.


Newt was beginning to feel a bit self-conscious about his own aura.


“Alright- not wrong but… it’s not like anyone’s I’ve ever met. The only person who came close was that Crowley, but…” She tried to put her mind to it. “Reverse some how.”





Crowley didn’t want to leave Aziraphale after their bath together. He never wanted to leave his side again, in fact. But he was filled with a strange amount of hesitation. He wasn’t really sure what it was that Aziraphale wanted from him and it scared him. He was always so eager to give into the angel but at what cost? Did Aziraphale see him the same way Crowley saw him?


He gently sprayed his plants with his mister, cheapest one on the market. One of the plants had a leaf that curled its tip just so. Crowley’s eyes, concealed by his sunglasses, followed the curve, discovering a hidden brown spot. His jaw clenched a bit and the plants shook that much more. He hadn’t even been threatening them today, just silently spraying them. Just this once, he thought, he would pretend not to notice. But the plant better look greener next time.


The demon was beginning to feel claustrophobic in his own body.


Heaven had always been out and it wasn’t that he ever liked hell but, well, it had been somewhere he could go at least. Earth was, simply put, for humans. He didn’t belong. They didn’t belong. Crowley pressed his back against his hard white wall and slouched down against it. It was too much for him at times. Even in his apartment he felt he couldn’t be his real self. His true form. One never knew when someone might barge in or who was really watching. Every decade the world grew too. His confines getting closer. Had he been in England too long? Been in this apartment too long? It was hard to keep track. Sure the rent was always miraculously paid, noise was at a minimum when he was tending to his plants, and he was surprisingly a great tenant. But there were only so many years a person who didn’t age could live in one place. Even little miracles would add up. A few adjustments here and there. If the building didn’t have heating in the winter, no worries. Needed better infrastructure, not a problem. There was always a spot open for the Bentley and why should he need a job if he miracled his money?


But people asked questions. Some people noticed things. The way his accent slipped, having changed it frequently over six millennia.


England, born and raised.’


‘But where are you really from?’


‘It’ss just a lissp.’


‘How do you make a living?’


‘We’re inside, what’s with the sunglasses?’


‘Its nighttime!’


‘Don’t you ever eat?’


‘Did you see that!? That man’s tongue just now!’


‘Read this, sign here.’


‘Can’t you read?!’


Crowley pressed his back harder against the wall, the claustrophobia starting to get the better of him. His jaw clenched harder, eyes pressing shut as he rolled his shoulder blades backwards a few times. How long had it been since he was last in the air? That nonsense during Armagedidn’t was quite the same. His wings were out, sure, but it wasn’t the same. He thought he would die then. He didn’t want to go out without ever feeling them again. A small smile played over his features. He had seen Aziraphale’s wings then too after having not seen them in so long. Then again for just a moment this morning in the bath. Pure white wings. Beautiful wings.


Crowley took in a deep breath and let it fill him for a moment. He leaned forward against his knees as the space behind him filled, massive black wings pressed up against the wall and gave a nearly shuddering stretch. He wondered if Aziraphale ever stretched his out like this when he was alone.





What did the angel want from him? How much of himself could he offer before it was too much?


Crowley’s wings folded around himself.




Aziraphale was doing his best at trying to smile and brush the whole thing off, but his jaw was too tight and there was far too much worry in his eyes for it to be believable.


Anathema stepped closer, feeling like she was about to unravel this whole mystery.


“Really Miss, I’m afraid I just don’t have the answers you seek-”


Newt attempted to step in, “Maybe he really doesn’t- I mean, I was there too and I’m just, well, me!”


Anathema shook her head. If only Newt could see the man’s aura too. It was as if his body and his aura were one. Then when she scrunched her eyes she could almost see the most peculiar thing just above Mr. Fell’s head.


The bell over the shop door rang out and Anathema let out a small huff.


“He must!” She told Newt in a hushed yet drama filled tone. If she didn’t know any better, that pure white aura didn’t even seem to be human.


“Angel!” The singsong voice called out.


Aziraphale who was practically up against his desk to get away from the witch, immediately relaxed at the sound of Crowley’s voice.


“Threatening your customers again?” Crowley was a mask of all smiles as he set a particularly large canvas bag down beside the desk.


Aziraphale straightened his tie on instinct. “You know I would never-” His eyes naturally drifted down to the bag Crowley had brought with him.


“Uhuh, suuure angel.” He had to be doing something to keep shoppers out after all. Crowley gave Anathema and Newt a once over, only vaguely recognizing one of them. “Oh, you’re that witch? Huh.”


All three of them bristled at the word, not that they didn’t all know it to be true. But knowing something and saying it out loud so the cards were on the table were very different things. He would have normally known better then to have said it so casually, but he was having a rather off day so far.


Anathema had never told the pair that she was a witch. Though it could potentially be devised that the owner of a book of prophecies and descendent of the author was perhaps, a witch as well. Still, it didn’t sit well with her and her attention was now shifted entirely to Crowley.


“What is all this,” Aziraphale, no longer feeling as pressured now that Crowley was here to rescue him from another interrogation, had attempted to peak in the bag.


Crowley gently smacked his hands away. “Its not for prying angels.”


It was too late, Aziraphale had seen it was filled to the brim with Girl Scout cookies. As excited as he was, he was beyond nervous that the goods were stolen. “Crowley you didn’t!” He sidestepped Anathema to take his demon aside. It was only now that he could see there was something terribly off about Crowley.


“They were so close to reaching their next badge… yes, I bought them all. Its not like they’ll go to waste.”


The glasses may have been blocking his eyes, but Aziraphale could still see the pale outline of a tear stain on his cheek. “Crowley…” He had no idea what to say, and besides, there were these humans still in earshot he had to take care of. “You… have a canvas bag?” Somehow that surprised him.


Crowley shifted a bit. “You know angel, we really ought to be thinking about the future. About the next six thousand odd years on this planet-”


“You mean like the children and such?” Newt chimed in, feeling a tad awkward now that Anathema seemed to be quietly stewing as she watched the pair.


“What?” Crowley looked at him perplexed for a moment. “Oh right, y-yea, the kids.” He turned back to Aziraphale. “There’s fucking plastic everywhere! We gotta clean this place up or I don’t wanna be here in even one thousand years!”


Aziraphale took Crowley’s hands in his, “What is it, Crowley? What’s really happened?” It pained him when he saw his friend looking away, not able to face him.


Anathema couldn’t tear her eyes away. In an odd sense she almost felt bad for questioning Mr. Fell about his aura after getting a better look at Crowley’s. Fell’s was powerful, strong and so strangely inhuman, but it had an air of innocents to it as well. Purity. It was almost- no, she wouldn’t even think the word. She just had that dumb pet name on her mind. But still, if it had not been for that, there was something rather angelic about it.


Crowley was entirely different, and this frightened her. There was no odd flicker of light just above his head when she squinted her eyes like there was with Mr. Fell. His aura was far from pure. It was like a black smokey haze of nefarious intentions. As a rule of thumb, she didn’t strictly speaking believe in ‘good’ or ‘evil’ in general terms. The world was far more nuanced then that. But somehow this man’s aura was as if he was straight from hell its self.


Crowley’s carefully manufactured smile faltered, some of his pain starting to make its self known. “Not now, angel.” He whispered, bringing Aziraphale’s hands up and pressing a feather light kiss to them.


Aziraphale went a bit pink from the action. Something was terribly wrong with his demon. “My dear…” It wasn’t an entirely strange action from the demon, they use to touch frequently when that was the custom amongst humans. But as customs changed and touching like that fell out of fashion and eventually the connotations of it shifted, they had stopped touching so freely.


Anathema grabbed Newt’s arm to pull him back. “We have to go.”


Newt blinked in confusion, “But what about the book?”


“Now. I’ll explain later.” She wondered if Mr. Fell was aware that there was something frightfully demonic about this ‘Crowley’ fellow. But seeing how close they were, she figured he must.


Aziraphale had luckily caught sight of their departure. “Oh! Miss, your book?!” He regretfully pulled away from Crowley.


“Oh you two look like you have something on your minds, I’ll just be back to discuss the price later. Feel free to peruse it until then.” She was dragging Newt away with her.


“You’ll need a phone number, wont you?” Aziraphale began padding his pockets looking for a pen or card on him, which there didn’t appear to be.


Anathema stopped, he was right. Besides, she still wanted answers and now she was more sure then ever that the two strange men knew far more then they were claiming. “Right, of course.” She swallowed, stepping closer to him and doing her best to avoid Crowley. Agnes had been right about many things after all and even she believed in demons.


Aziraphale smiled nervously, “I’m sure I have a card somewhere.” He was now glancing over his desk.

“Here.” Crowley, as if doing the best version of the coin trick that Anathema had ever seen, snapped his fingers and was suddenly holding Mr. Fell’s business card out to her.


She reached out to take it, her eyes never leaving the mysterious dark sunglasses he wore. But right then, just as she grabbed it, she could swear the light glinted and behind the dark glass she could see a pair of serpentine eyes looking back at her.


“We really must go! So sorry!” Anathema practically sprinted out the door.


Crowley blinked, “What’s gotten into her?”


There was a distant shout of “I swear the curb wasn’t red when I parked it though!”


Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “Must you always do that?” He snapped his fingers.


“Oh thank god, it’s only a warning. They give warnings for this?”

“Just get in the car!” Anathema was not in the mood for anymore mysterious happening just now.


Aziraphale shrugged. “I’m just glad she left the book.” And didn’t discover any definitive proof of the divine. But humans were often easily fooled on that topic. “She may be on to us.” He was a tad put out that Crowley had used real magic to do his favorite coin trick.


Crowley nodded, “Hardly the first.”


“No, but its always good to be vigilant.” Aziraphale looked him over now. “Now, my dear, please tell me what’s wrong? Surely performing a kindness didn’t bring you to tears.”


“Performing a- how dare you!” He put his hand on his hips but saw that Aziraphale was looking pointedly at the canvas bag. “That hardly counts. It was an entirely selfish act I’ll have you know.”


“Oh, you’re a big fan of scout cookies? I had no idea.” The angel pursed his lips with amusement. At least Crowley was still able to joke with him no matter what was upsetting him so.


“You’re really asking for it, angel. I swear I’ll tie you up and force you to eat every last one of ‘em.” He went the faintest shade of pink as he saw what he could only describe as a desirous smile come over Aziraphale’s features at that threat. “Dirty minded angel…”


Aziraphale huffed, “There is nothing ‘dirty’ about enjoying a snack.”


“Yea well, you manage to find the dirtiest ways.”


“Crowley,” Aziraphale practically purred, the demon wasn’t entirely wrong after all. “We’re alone now.”


The sign flipped its self back to being closed as the angel advanced a step towards Crowley. How had he never noticed it before? Crowley stepped back and noted just how quiet the angel’s steps were when he wanted them to be. He could swear he saw a predatory look in those unassuming blue eyes. A lion ready to pounce.


“Azira…” Why was he backing away? It was only his friend. Crowley swallowed, surely he had the upper hand here. But suddenly he found himself backed against a bookshelf. “Angel?”


Aziraphale reached up to gently lift the offending sunglasses from Crowley’s face and folded them up neatly to place in the demon’s pocket. “You said you would wear them less when it was just us.” His suspicions were right. The small amount of white that normally appeared on the outskirts of Crowley’s eyes were red now. He had been crying, and quite possibly the angel feared, at great length.


Crowley’s eyes blinked rapidly, his eyes had stung earlier but he had never actually checked to see if they were red. Sunglasses made that entirely unnecessary. “And you said you would let certain appendages out more.”


The angel tutted a bit but as Crowley’s gaze dropped down he spied the blonde tail with the little fur tuft at the end peaking around his coat tails. It took everything in him not to reach out and stroke it.


“Please Crowley,” His voice was almost whisper soft and hung strangely in the air between them. “What’s happened?” Azira’s hand instinctually came up to smooth the traces of tears from Crowley’s cheek. “Did they visit you? Someone from,” He couldn’t say the word even now, ”Down there?” He hated to think that when Crowley had been there for him in his time of need that he had missed the moment to be by his friend’s side to shield and protect him. “Oh my dear boy, I should have been there.” He wrapped one of his soft hands around one of Crowley’s boney ones. “I’m here now, no matter what they said to you, threatened you with, I’ll protect you.”


Crowley’s heart melted at that. “You would protect me from the forces of hell?” He allowed his lips to lift a bit into a small. His prim little angel, the one that was all tears at the thought of going to even an accepting version of hell, was promising him this? And he knew the promise was a true one.


“If that’s what it takes. I wont let them have you!” Aziraphale was nearly pressing into him now.


“Angel…” He was afraid his eyes might get watery again. For a moment, the way the mid day light filtered through a mostly book covered window, Azirphale seemed to be bathed in a heavenly flame. He could swear he saw those pure white wings at his back again spreading out protectively as the angel fretted over him. “No, no… it wasn’t…” He could almost forget what it was that he had been so upset about as he looked at such a celestial sight. “No one visited me.” He was sure now if Aziraphale’s wings had been out, they would be furrowing back in now, satisfied with his safety and unsure of how to proceed.


“I see… no, I don’t- You’ve been crying!”


“AH-” Crowley quickly attempted to look away, hide the shame of his red puffy eyes he was now sure he must have. “No, I wasn’t- it’s nothing, angel.” The claustrophobia was back with the awful addition of being scrutinized now. Interrogated and judged. Not that Azira would ever actually do the latter, but somehow Crowley felt it all the same.


“Dear, I have known you since the dawn of man.” It was by no means the first time Crowley cried nor the first time Azirphale had seen it. But it had nearly always been hidden or had followed some horrendous event.


The day that young man in Jerusalem had been executed so publicly. Crowley had shed a few tears, though he tried to hide them, he had told Aziraphale how badly he had felt about the whole affair. He had seemed, Crowley explained, like a nice fellow, as well as the other men that had died that day. There had been wars, more common then peace really, and he had seen the humans die. Not just soldiers, but women and children too. Crowley had mourned them all. Aziraphale had always tried to look away, but despite the pain it brought him, Crowley could never ignore them. He had cradled a long lost child during the Black Death when neither of them had been able to stop the tragedy. Aziraphale had to drag him away from the quarantined village. They had both run out of miracles. The witch trials had not been much better, and nearly none of them were even witches, not that that was even a bad thing to be. Crowley had felt particularly regretful for them. Falsely accused by their fellow mortals.


But their interests in such incidents began to wan by the time the French Revolution rolled around. Crowley had been concerned, naturally, with Aziraphale’s safety. But at the end of the day they were both perfectly content with their plates of crepes. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. The angel had quite forgotten who exactly said that.


“It’s not like you to cry over nothing.” Aziraphale lightly ran his thumb over the back of Crowley’s hand as he held it. He had been crying that night the bookshop burned down as well. Not that Crowley cared much for books, he certainly didn’t feel as enraged as Aziraphale did when the Library of Alexandria burned down.


‘I lost my best friend’ The words rang out in the Angel’s ears. He had cried a lot that night.


Crowley let out a breath at that. “I’ve just been thinking is all. ‘Bout a lot of things, the last two days, the last few thousand years. About…” He ground his teeth together, his eyes shutting sharply for a moment. He felt pinned between the angel and the bookshelf. It was too much. “Don’t you ever feel claustrophobic?” It wasn’t what he was going to say a moment before.


The question threw Aziraphale for a moment, not particularly sure what he meant by that. “Well I supposed when I’m somewhere crowded I don’t particularly like-”


“No, no, not like that.” He took in a sharp breath and let it back out with a following sigh. “You, you. You know, your body?” He could tell by the angel’s expression that his friend wasn’t understanding. It was more then a physical sensation. It delved somewhere into the psyche, the way the world was closing in around people that didn’t fit the norm, people who weren’t exactly human. The way he had been closed off emotionally from everyone except Aziraphale- no, he was mostly closed off from him too. Heaven and Hell blocking him. But there was a physical part of it too. “These damn bodies!” It was easier to explain the physical aspects.


“Sorry…” Aziraphale looked at him in confusion, his eyes scanning over Crowley’s form as if he were injured somewhere and he needed to asses the damage. “You feel claustrophobic? In your… body?”


Crowley felt suddenly exhausted from too many thoughts. Too many emotions. He simply nodded in response.


“May I?” Aziraphale looked at Crowley’s shirt pointedly, his free hand lingering a bit at the buttons.

It wasn’t exactly what Crowley had meant. “I don’t think it will do any good,” He could see Aziraphale’s crest fallen face. “But if you’d like, yes.”


Aziraphale was always quick to show his emotions and he was quite pleased that Crowley was allowing this. He quickly guided his friend to the couch. Were they still friends now? Had this morning change things? The angel pushed those questions down.


Crowley was feeling a bit unsure of whatever Azira was planning.


The angel’s agile fingertips flew to Crowley’s shirt buttons and worked their way down. He was nervously biting at his lower lip without realizing it until his eyes went back up to meet Crowley’s. “You’re sure this is alright?”


“Of course,” There was a hint of nervousness in his voice.


Aziraphale parted the opening of Crowley’s shirt, his eyes swiftly taking in all that he could see. Not enough. He tugged the garment off Crowley’s shoulders, smiling a bit as he heard a small disgruntled sound at the sudden movement.


Crowley was certainly atypical looking by human standards. As if he simply had too many vertebrae lining his back, a snake disguised as human. Aziraphale gently pressed his torso down, forcing the demon into a reclined position on the couch as he slowly ran his hands over him. Appreciating every defining angle on his body. Crowley could swear he felt light sparks where the soft fingertips touched him.


“Are you in any pain?” Aziraphale asked thoughtfully, his eyes focused on Crowley’s form beneath him.


“N-no.” His muscles rippled a bit beyond his control at the touches. Skin too nervous to be touched but not wanting to pull away.


“And where is it, what was it? Claustrophobic? The discomfort?” He was trying to understand this as best he could.


“Er, my back, actually.” His wings to be precise, but the words weren’t coming.


“Ah,” Azirphale placed the palm of his hand on Crowley’s chest for a moment, his warmth radiating out around him. “You feel… alright?” He wasn’t sure. It wasn’t the same as sensing a human. “Turn over.” It wasn’t a request.


“Right, right,” Crowley did as he was told. As his splayed out legs adjust at the end of the couch, Aziraphale moved to sit between them. One at his back and the other on his lap.


The angel scooted closer still and placed both his hands on the lowest point of his exposed skin, slowly rising higher over the mound of his back. Crowley’s spine shifted several times in inhuman ways. The angel let his palms dig in a bit to his flesh.


“Ahh, what’s this then?” Crowley held a pillow beneath his chest and clutched it close. It felt like the beginnings of a great massage.


“Nothing feels amiss exactly.” He ran his hands up to Crowley’s shoulders, rubbing them there before carefully gripping the back of his neck and running his fingers down the length of it, silently counting the vertebrae there too. He could feel Crowley relaxing beneath him. His form slowly going lax under his touch.


“Sorry, I know I’m,” Crowley struggled to find the words, feeling the way Azira was touching all his many neck bones. “Monstrous.”


“You are nothing of the sort.” His words were closer to Crowley’s ear then he expected.


Aziraphale was leaning quite close now, his hands sliding back down as he performed massaging circles against him.


Demonic, then.” He countered.


Angelic.” Aziraphale felt at Crowley’s sides and was a bit dismayed with how thin he felt.


Crowley scoffed loudly, “Please-”


Aziraphale smiled, “Its true. Demon or not. You were made by Her.” He knew what Crowley and the other demons refused to admit. They were still angels, even if they were fallen ones. ‘Demon’ was merely a political term.


“You really know how to kill a mood.” Crowley grumbled, but a part of him preened at the praise. Just like their first meeting in the garden.


‘What a beautiful creature you are. Such a deep black and so slick. You must be quite a clever one, seeking me out all on your own.’


Crowley closed his eyes, remembering the way Azirphale had gently pet him back then. It wasn’t too different from now.


Aziraphale licked at his lips nervously. Crowley was beautiful. He had absent mindedly let his tail come to rest over the demon’s leg, which Crowley absolutely felt and relished the feeling of.


The angel’s hands couldn’t help themselves. They gripped at Crowley’s sides a bit, mourning how differently shaped he was from his lithe serpent. The grew bolder and rounded down to Crowley’s front where he was merely a tight form of various muscles.


“Find something you like?” Crowley teased, noticing how the hands seemed to be pausing around those spot.


Aziraphale let out a shaky sigh. ‘Or not,’ Crowley thought, feeling a bit dismayed.


“You’re quite lovely, dear.”


Crowley shifted a bit and looked over his shoulder at him with questioning golden eyes.

Aziraphale attempted to show him a smile but the sadness shone through.

“What’s wrong?” Crowley’s brows furrowed together a bit and he decided to turn back over so they were facing each other again, careful of his legs. He reached out to gently adjust Aziraphale’s tail so it was back in place. The angel’s cheeks went a light shade of pink at that.


“You’re just so,” It was hard to find the words. Beautiful. Perfect. Dazzling. ”Thin.” He wished he could eat his own words. That wasn’t at all what he had meant to say.


Crowley sat up at that. “Aziraphale-”


Oh dear, the angel thought. It wasn’t even a pet name this time.


“Why-” No, he knew why. It was written all over his angel’s face. “Do you even know how pretty you are?”


Aziraphale was like a wide eyed deer looking to leap away. “You don’t need to-”


“No, angel, really. You’re, ugh,” He groaned. “You’re fucking adorable. I hate it.”


Feeling a bit confused now, Aziraphale looked down and fiddled with his sleeves a bit.

“Look at me,” Crowley tilted Azira’s chin up to face him. “I mean it. This thin crap is- well its crap. You’re beautiful, angel. This isn’t me trying to cheer you up or get you to eat a bunch of food or- or- whatever the hell that bath stuff was. You’re gorgeous. You’re stupid tartan bow ties, your velvet waist coat, I have no idea what your hair is supposed to be, but all of it.”


His tail was curling in on its self. “But I’m-”




“Fat.” Aziraphale slouched a bit, which he immediately regretted knowing just how much worse that would make him look.


“Come here,” Crowley didn’t give him time respond before pulling him into his arms. “You’re perfect, Zira. I mean that.


Aziraphale attempted to squirm away a bit but it was no use, the demon’s grip tightened around him like a constricting snake.


“You are soft, angel.” Crowley felt him go still at that. “And I love it. I love how soft you are. How plush and comfortable.” He rested his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “You’re pretty and soft and, mhmmm, yea… this is a good one. You’re nice to hug, to hold. Just cuddle beside.”


“Crowley…” His voice was still sad but he let his arms loosely hold his friend back. “I’m rather over weight, don’t you think?”


Crowley gave a non-committal shrug. “I think you’re perfect. Besides, who cares? You a fucking angel, it’s not like it matters what shape you’re in.”


Aziraphale couldn’t deny that, “But… well, aesthetically speaking-”


“You’re a beautiful angel. The prettiest one I’ve seen, in fact.” Not that he cared for any of the others. “You’re gorgeous, stunning, handsome, whatever.” He was struggling to say anything that might help. “lovely, voluptuous, sexy-”


“Did you just call me sexy?” Aziraphale pulled back a bit, acutely aware that when they were that close his mid section was pressed a bit against Crowley, which only made him more self conscious.


“Well,” Crowley scrambled a bit. “You are.”


“and Voluptuous?” He raised an eyebrow.


“Hardly the first time I called you that.”


“No,” Aziraphale took a moment to think. Crowley had indeed called him that at least once or twice over the last two days. After starting their little game back up. “You like it?” All of the confusion stopped for one blissful moment as the pieces came together. Sure, Crowley had said it before, but somehow it just hadn’t quite clicked. “You like this.” His featured softened as he pressed closer to him.


“AH-” Crowley had a lap full of quite a lot of angel. “I have been saying that after all.” His breathing had quickened.


“You wily old serpent.” He purred, still a bit concerned with his weight, but his worries were quickly dying out with how interested Crowley seemed to be. “You really do like me soft.”


“There’s certainly nothing wrong with it.” Crowley was torn between fleeing from that predatory gaze now on him and reaching to grab more of his fluffed up house cat.


“That’s why you’ve been tempting me with food. Feeding me up.” He pressed flush against Crowley, letting his demon feel the labors of his hard work. “Always asking me out to dinner, lunch, anything I’ll agree to just to watch me eat.”


“You just seemed to enjoy it so much.” He protested, knowing he had been found out.


Azirphale was rather red now, “I have been.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I’ve enjoyed eating out with you, your company, our talks, the food.” Crowley swallowed. “Oooh the food! You always take me to such nice restaurants, Crowley. Letting me order whatever I want, as much as I want. Soo much.” He practically moaned. “Such decadent food, dear. All for me. I’ve enjoyed every moment of eating it. Letting you feed me by hand. Saying such lewd things to me about how gluttonous I’ve been.” His breath was ghosting across Crowley’s neck. “And I’ve been so nervous, so worried. But then there are times that I find myself liking it. Loving it even. The feeling of all this extra padding on myself. Its all your fault, dear. You did this to me. Fed me up until I was all soft for you and told me how beautiful I am.”


“Fuck, Azira…” He was squirming beneath the angel, trying to get closer and further all at once.


“I love all those awful things you said to me, those sweet compliments. I love the way you look at me like you’re sizing me up. The way you talk like I’m your angel. Only yours.” His own breathing was growing erratic now. “Yes Crowley, I’ve enjoyed it. Enjoyed letting you lead me to sin.” He didn’t actually consider sin, but he liked the way it sounded, truth be told. “But you’ve enjoyed it too.” He purred.


“Angel…” Crowley moaned, finally resigned his fate and letting Aziraphale push him back down into the couch. “Fuck.” He could see Azira’s tail swishing back and forth. Hunting.


“You like this, don’t you?” He pressed against him, noting how different it felt when he was the one leaning down on top of Crowley. “Like seeing me stuffed and full. Knowing you’re the one who did it.”


“Yes angel, fuck, yes. I do. You’re fucking beautiful. Sinfully lush.”


Aziraphale smiled, “Just for you.”


“Just for me. All mine.”


Azirphale gently brushed a bit of hair from Crowley’s face. “What do you want, my dear?”


“Everything. I want everything from you. All of you.”