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Escape the Nations

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Good day, my readers. You may be wondering why the hell I am starting yet another fanfic, but this is for a reason - an odd crossover from two fandoms which have likely never interacted before this fic.


I first heard of EtN from the comments section of a Minecraft: Story Mode playthrough (Season 1 Episode 6 - A Portal to Mystery, to be exact), and eventually read Leah's novelizations (before watching the show!), then joined the fandom in late January 2018.

About three months later, a friend of mine introduced me to an anime/manga series, Axis Powers: Hetalia. This is a series where Nations are Personified and historical and/or cross-cultural hijinks ensue, and things get crazier by the fact that one, there are dozens of characters and a thousand times more OCs; and two, the sheer amount of homoerotic subtext (so much that it practically spilled into the text, at a couple of points).

After creating our Fandom-tan, a plot bunny began hopping around in my head - what if the Nations went through the arm-wrestling matches of Season 3 Episode 5? It would be the Cold War 2.0!

Needless to say, a while later, I posted the idea on Discord, and the conversation afterwards escalated into far too many ideas to keep around in my head. So basically, this fic is the pen for containing those hyperactive plot bunnies running amok in my brain.


These fanfics centre on what the Nations' possible actions and reactions would be if they were placed into EtN, but with their immortality, abnormally fast healing rate and other "powers" in place. Essentially, they participate as Nations, not humans, and things obviously escalate from there.

Remember that there may not be a particular timeline in this fic - it is mostly inconsistent, and timelines may overlap. Just unconnected drabbles, though more on a particular drabble and what happens in the same universe may be elaborated upon by request.

Messages to the Readers Unfamiliar With One or More of the Fandoms

Unfamiliar With Hetalia: You need not know the Hetalia plot/characters to read this fic (there isn't much of a plot anyway), but reference for the characters/APH canon may be found at this site:

Unfamiliar With EtN: It is highly recommended that you watch the series on YouTube Premium (or Rulu if you do not fear doing so illegally - it's free there, not on the original site, other than the free trial) before venturing into the depths of my odd mind.


Sadly, I do not plan on posting this fic on FFN due to the stricter regulations there - and the fact that this chapter "does not contain content" would render me unable to post for several days over there, and receive my second warning for rulebreaking. Moreover, the very fact that I am allowing suggestions for this fic shows that, according to FFN rules, this work is "interactive" and is at least another rule broken over there.

Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this series of AU fic-lets, and sincerely wish you a pleasant day.

Chapter Text

When it was time for the guests to choose their teams, it was decided that the Nations and YouTubers would be chosen separately. On the Nations' end, America was voicing out his desire to lead the Dark Army, Russia had managed to intimidate everyone else into letting him become one of the Captains (regardless of allegiance), and everyone else was arguing. Because of course this was the case, as it was always.

In the end, however, England was selected as the opposing leader to Russia, mainly due to the American's supposed immaturity. Said American, though, was uncharacteristically quiet as the YouTubers chose which Nation captain to side with.

Noting on the other Nation captain's violet aura, Team Dark Army chose England. The Confederates, whom America was eying rather strangely, were stuck with Russia and his childishly violent tendencies - and did I mention that he, in fact, supported the Union back then? Joy.

England had the honour of choosing first. "Japan."

"Thank you, Igirisu-san."

"Hmm… France, join me." France flashed a smile at his once-fanboy and made a rude hand gesture at England (whom Japan had to physically restrain), before joining Russia at DeStorm's side. He smiled flirtatiously at the girls on the team. They ignored him, or simply didn't notice. Or were guarded by a protective boyfriend. Who knows.

England then opted with China, to Russia's disappointment. The oldest of the Nations grumbled about drugs and exploitation, then struck up a conversation with Liza and Tyler about his voyages during the fifteenth century and snacks.

"Germaniya, we've been allies before. I'll give you one last chance - betray me again and I will destroy you. Painfully. Ufufufufu~"

Germany shook his head, muttering about how it was his Bruder who had come up with Operation Barbarossa, in an attempt to crush the once-boy he had bullied in his childhood, as well as his long-time rival (whose childhood he had completely ruined). Ah, history, such a complex subject.

With that, the only two yet to be chosen by a side were the two perceived as airheads - (North) Italy and America. The latter of whom seemed to be reading the atmosphere for once - and appeared to be trying to get his (former?) adopted brother's attention.

England, though, was having none of it. Strategically speaking, Italy was the better option, of the two 'unsorted' Nations before them. Russia was still somewhat bitter about the Cold War, which meant that he could take the opposing side down from within rather easily. More importantly, though, Germany was a highly competent individual and with Italy on the Dark Army side, he might be able to provide a decent distraction…

"Italy." A single name that sealed fates.

It was a mere moment later (too late to turn back) when he realized several important factors that he had forgotten to take into consideration:

  1. Italy could - and possibly would - help Germany, even when they were supposed to be on opposing teams;
  2. Germany was not the kind of man to be easily distracted;
  3. Russia and his little brother had been allies during the 19th century, which they were technically in at the moment;
  4. He assigned his brother - by default, no less! - to his Civil War's losing side.

As America was mentally transported back a hundred and fifty-something years, to one of the most painful times of his life, only one thought was echoing in the Gentleman's mind - bloody hell, I f**ked up.

Blood. Smoke. Gunpowder. Screams. Explosions. Pain. Death.

Both sides were his.

Not again notagain notagainnotagain…

Please, someone stop this -

Everything was a blur.

He wasn't thinking. He couldn't think. He couldn't head the screaming anymore, just stopthepain stopthepain stopthepainstopthepain -

He had a gun.

He couldn't hear anything. The exclamations of shock were left in vain, shielded by near deafness.

"Aiya! Put down that gun! What the hell are you doing??"

"Listen to me, you dummkopf, PUT YOUR GUN DOWN!"

"Arufureddo-kun, STOP!"

"Don't do it!"



Pure, blissful silence, or was it tense and filled with undiluted, unexpected shock?

"DID HE JUST SHOOT HIMSELF?!!?" one of the YouTubers bellowed, but just before the grounds of the Victorian mansion could descend into chaos, Cash remarked, "He's going into the final challenge."

Two seconds later, he was bludgeoned into unconsciousness by the Magic Metal Pipe of Pain.

Chapter Text

"The Investor."

A gasp echoed throughout the crowd. Whomever that had thought to vote the sweet, polite young lady into the challenge must be a sick and twisted person, they decided unanimously. (At the back of the lounge, one of the YouTubers guiltily shifted in their seat.) Even Greece, who somehow remained asleep through the whole ordeal, knew better than to mess with the Alpine Micro-state.

The Nations glanced at Switzerland immediately. The moron who put his schwester into the challenge was either ignorant of - or had the pure, undiluted guts (which wasn't always a good thing) to face - his wrath. Shockingly, the Watchmaker appeared to be restraining his fury in… at least, for the time being.

"Vhich soiniggel… voted in… my sister?" It was considered a miracle by the Nations present that the man had managed to rein in his temper as someone forced his beloved adopted sister to compete in a challenge that could result in death.

Every single person - even the most oblivious members of the group - could tell that he would absolutely annihilate the voter(s) with his Nobel Peace Prize (how he got it in the first place is a story for another time).

A hand was raised meekly, as though in a one-armed surrender pose.

Thankfully, Calliope intervened before any parties involved (or anyone present, for the matter) could receive grievous injuries from either firearms or being bludgeoned with an expensive plaque of irony, or be more mentally traumatized than they already were from watching a town's population almost get entirely wiped out by evil clowns… and the near-death experiences, how could one forget those.

"The Parachutist."

No one was at all surprised that the Australian was chosen, as he was put in in Roi's place. Only the older Oceania brother showed much concern for the continent-Nation, as all older brothers should, but if all else failed, Australia still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

After changing from a crisp business suit and skydiving getup into the 'protection suits' (which didn't look quite good on them, but oh well), the duo were sent into the challenge as Switzerland kept watch on the outskirts, hands itching to pull his gun out to kill somebody until they were dead… and then some, if even a single hair on Liechtenstein had been harmed.

"Shout if that serpent tries to kill you, okay, Erika? Don't forget what I've taught you either."

A tinkling giggle, hopefully not the last, one that would not be extinguished by darkness and venom. "Yes, Bruder, I know. I'll be perfectly fine, I promise."

As the challenge progressed, though, it was clear that the little Principality's green eyes were as sharp as her brother's aim; and even if Australia was in his Focus phase in ADHD, he was no match for the European girl.

Just while Australia began to look for the fifth mosaic piece required, the little Investor had finished - and thus won - the challenge, and was able to retrieve the giant heart needed by the group. She sent her Bruder a victorious smile, and the Swiss man's heart swelled with pride.

However, as the Snake Woman attempted to wrestle down the larger Nation and sink down her fangs into his throat, all she felt was… traces of snake venom far more powerful than her own coursing through the bloodstream, and oh sh!t, this dude is immune to venom?!

But I have to kill someone - that's what my orders are!

Right as she moved away from the now-triumphant Australian and towards the rightful winner of the challenge, rounds and rounds of ammunition pierced through her. She collapsed, moving no more, as the Alpine siblings put down their rifles, smoke emerging from the muzzles of the firearms - and bullet chambers completely emptied (they'd have to re-load later).

"Zhat'll teach her," snapped the Watchmaker.

Liechtenstein ran over to her competitor, trying to help him to his feet. "Are you alright, Herr Australien?"

The man in question nodded and pressed a hand to the already-closing wound, looking back at the Investor (and hiding a slight shudder). "It could'a been worse. She could'a been an Ee-myu Woman, ay?"