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Whats your sign

Chapter Text

Tohru created “what’s ur sign” 

Tohru-> to -> what’s ur sign


Tohru: guys I made us a gc!!

Momiji: omg

Rin: this is a terrible idea tohru 

Tohru: what??? No it’s not! 

Kisa: I think this a great idea tohru! 

Tohru: thanks kisa <3 

Momiji: I’m gonna send so many memes just you wait,,,, 

Hatsuharu: look what you’ve done tohru 

Tohru: o no 

Rin: see what I mean 

Yuki: momiji has sent me the meme “who can forget about dear rat boy” everyday for the past month 

Momiji: I luv u yuki 

Yuki: bitch you’re lucky I live half an hour away 

Hatsuharu: I can get him to stop 

Yuki: that’s okay haru 

Tohru: plz do not 

Rin: it has been ten minutes and there’s already been a fight iconic 

Kagura: omg hi guys!! 

Kisa: hahaha omg momiji

Momiji: see? don’t act like it’s not funny yuki :p 

Yuki: I- 

Rin: use that emoticon one more time and I will end you 

Momiji: u gonna stomp me to death with your hooves? 

Momiji: :P 

Rin: i- 

Hatsuharu: lmao 

Hiro: Thank you for adding me tohru, can you please remove me now? 

Rin: bitch why the frick are you using punctuation 

Hatsuharu: are you censoring yourself because of kisa 

Rin: frick yeah I am

Rin: also hiro is like 12 

Hiro: I AM FIFTEEN! And kisa is even older! 

Rin: babey

Tohru: that’s sweet rin! 

Rin: no it’s not 

Kisa: yea it is 

Rin: fuck 


Rin: there :) 

Kagura: I don’t like that smiley face 

Momiji: wow rin u can use emoticons but i can't ? Smh

Hiro: so passive aggressive. 

Rin: ya bet i am 

Yuki: who else is in this gc? 

Tohru: uhhh me, Kyo, yuki, rin,kagura, momiji, haru, hiro, and kisa 

Tohru: that’s it :-) 

Yuki: sweet no Ayame 

Rin: ^ 

Hiro: good line up. 

Hiro: can I leave? 

Tohru: Hiro why??? It’s fam bonding time 

Kisa: yeah Hiro!! It’s the fam! 

Hiro: hmmmdmdmnf……...

Momiji: it’s ThE FaM Hiro 

Hiro: momiji I hate you. 

Momiji: no you don’t :,) 

Kagura: why isn’t Kyo texting us ? 

Kisa: good question 

Yuki: Kyo has a phone? 

Tohru: yea! Idk his phone is next to me but he’s not here rn 

Kagura: where’d he go? 

Tohru: we r remodeling this house and we ran out of primer for the walls so he went to get some more

Yuki: how is that going anyway 

Rin: you are too obsessed with htv 

Tohru: it’s actually really good it looks much better than last time u came 

Tohru:shhdjdn yeah I made u watch htv with me I remember 

Yuki: last time I came y’all literally didn’t have a roof 

Momiji: lollll 

Tohru: we were fixing all the pipes/vents and redoing the shingles it was temporary!! 

Rin: rip the tent tarp roof 

Hatsuharu: Sure it was 

Momiji: tohru just really likes living in tents huh 

Tohru: THAT WAS ONE TIME handjdndjf 

Kagura: aren’t you about to gut your whole kitchen how is that going?? 

Tohru: lots of take out and sandwiches shhdjdnf 

Yuki: tohru? Getting take out?? 

Rin: no NO 

Momiji: i- 

Kisa: me and Hiro will come help you fix your kitchen immediately!!! This can not stay like this 

Kisa: the earth might collapse 

Hiro: why did you volunteer me ??? But okay sure i’m in. 

Tohru: omg u dont have too! 

Yuki: I would also like to help when are we meeting? 

Momiji: count me in babey 

Rin: i suppose i can help 

Hatsuharu: I will bring snacks 

Momiji: oh same!!! 

Tohru: I love u guys!!!! :D okay!!! Let’s do this!! 

Tohru: how’s tomorrow since it’s a Sunday? 

Rin: I’m good with that 

Hatsuharu: same 

Momiji: I would cancel all of my plans for you 

Kagura: ^ 

Yuki: same 

Kisa: me and hiro will b there!!! 

Chapter Text

Rin-> to -> what’s ur sign 


Rin: that was so much more work than I thought wtf 

Kisa: it looks great though!!! 

Momiji: facts kisa 

Yuki: even tho Kyo was there it was kinda fun 

Hatsuharu: savage 

Momiji: shhdjdjfjfj just dudes being guys :,) 

Kagura: that was super fun! I love ikea and their cabinets 

Tohru: THNKS SM GUYS!!! <3 

Tohru: ahhsjjd yeah even though it took us an hour to figure out the instructions 

Momiji: it’s cuz we share three brain cells 

Rin: yeah and kisa borrows two of them and hiro has one and refuses to share 

Momiji: wtf why does hiro have one 

Rin: because he uses punctuation unlike us heathens who have given up 

Momiji: oh facts 

Kagura: facts? 

Momiji: rip I forgot how old you are 

Rin: i- 

Kyo-> to -> what’s ur sign 



Kyo: hey they’re gone now?? 

Momiji: kyo- 

Momiji: do you….. know how to use a phone??? 

Kyo: not really no

Yuki: Kyo lived in the woods for a year of his youth it made him physically incapable of using technology 

Kyo: I hat you 

Rin: lmao 

Kyo: I mean hat

Kyo: HATE 

Kyo: there 

Yuki: I’m sorry you hat me? 

Momiji: ajndjdjdn 

Kyo: I’m just not gonna answer that 

Yuki: coward 

Kyo: maybe so 

Momiji: kyo uses a meme!! Everyone come look!!! 

Rin: Im back and wtf 

Kyo: what meme 

Momiji: of course he didn’t even know it 

Hatsuharu: life imitates art 

Yuki: you know what Kyo I respect that you owned up to it let’s settle our dispute once and for all and become best friends forever 

Kyo: yuki why must you patronize me 

Yuki: it’s fun idk 

Hiro: you guys need to grow up. 

Hiro: And just send eachother dms instead of flooding the chat. 

Kyo: well Hiro you need to grow 

Yuki: hahha good one Kyo 

Kyo: thanks 

Momiji: a common enemy never fails to settle disputes between two 

Rin: momiji wtf 

Hatsuharu: we are reading fucking Shakespeare in class right now 

Momiji: watch your language 

Hatsuharu: watchist thou language good sir *

Momiji: you rouge! You rascal! Thou bite thy thumb AT ME?????? 

Rin: that was basically gibberish 

Momiji: don’t call me out like that,,,, rin

Kyo: why are you guys texting when you’re in class send 

Rin: why does it say send 

Kyo: I’m trying the voice command send message 

Kyo: it’s not very good 

Momiji: ahdjdjkfnfkfkff 

Momiji: that might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen 

Yuki: hahahhahaha 

Kyo: what? 

Hatsuharu: I love this 

Rin: i just- why is Kyo a grumpy old man who doesn’t know how to use a phone 

Yuki: someone get him a jitterbug 

Kisa: what is a jitterbug?? 

Tohru: u kno I was thinking of getting him a flip phone too 

Yuki: it’s a phone with three buttons for old people kisa 

Kisa: oh omg perfect for Kyo 

Momiji: skskkskwjdjjd

Hatsuharu: kisa omg 

Tohru: ahhshdj that is funny ngl 

Yuki: tohru admitted a joke about Kyo was funny? Good heavens 

Kyo: you guys seriously need to get a life 

Hiro: you seriously need to get. 

Kisa: Hiro that made no sense…

Hiro: I was trying to - never mind. 

Yuki: Hiro you cant roast Kyo 

Yuki: Hes been roasted so much hes unroastable basically ash 

Kyo: did you just say I WAS CREMATED 

momiji: sjjdjd jdjdjdnf KYO NO 

Yuki: bitch do you understand how burning things work 

Kisa: to be fair you did say ash

Hatsuharu: ash as in he has been burnt so much (by the respected roasts) that he has turned into a crisp and cannot be lit on fire again 

Rin: that was actually beautiful haru 

Hatsuharu: thank you 

Kyo: well I’ll rise out of the ashes like a Phoenix 

Momiji: good comeback Kyo ten points to Kyo minus five from yuki because it was confusing 

Yuki: it’s not confusing if your smart :) 

Rin: i cant get over yukis passive aggression nothing makes me laugh more 

Hatsuharu: lowkey same 

Kagura-> to -> what’s ur sign


Kagura: are you kidding me??

Rin: what 

Kagura: the one time I’m not here Kyo makes an appearance 

Kagura: he has left me on read for two months 

Momiji: omg 

Momiji: how did Kyo figure out to turn on read receipts wtf 

Hatsuharu: that’s the only issue with that 

Momiji: ,,,,, yes 

Hiro: you didn’t miss anything special kagura don’t worry. 

Chapter Text

Momiji-> to -> what’s ur sign 


Momiji: someone here (not naming names) has been keeping something (i know what) from us 

Hiro: why were you being so ominous? 

Hatsuharu: momiji just wants to stir up drama 

Rin: it’s yuki isn’t it 

Yuki: why do you assume it’s me 

Yuki: it’s probably Kyo 

Tohru: no it’s not we all kno he can’t lie 

Momiji: facts 

Momiji: it’s not Kyo 

Yuki: are you sure 

Momiji: yea I know who it is :))))) 

Rin: was it yuki 

Hatsuharu: why would it be yuki 

Hiro: momiji, why would you bring this up? 

Momiji: omg I cant keep this up can I  just say who 

Kagura: wait I just got here let me read before you say it 

Momiji: fair

Hiro: can we wait for kisa too? 

Hatsuharu: @kisa 

Kisa: sorry I was finishing my homework I read all of it…. OMG I’m excited 

Hiro: why are you excited? 

Tohru: oh yeah i nvr thought it would b good news!! It’s probably good news right momiji? :D 

Momiji: it is 

Yuki: why didn’t you say that earlier 

Rin: momiji why do you do the things you do 

Momiji: wait someone get Kyo 

Tohru: I got it hes outside hold on 

Hatsuharu: yeah Kyo doesn’t know how to use the Internet 

Yuki: facts 

Tohru: k he’s with me now :D 

Rin: okay momiji spill it 

Momiji: okay so 

Momiji: yuki,,,, has a girlfriend and didn’t tell us!!!  The audacity 

Hatsuharu: I need names, addresses, birthdate, blood type, 

Hiro: cool? This wasn’t as important as you think it is momiji. 

Kisa: PICS???? 

Kagura: finally!! Omg I wanna meet her 

Tohru: o I knew 

Yuki: I’m gonna kill you momiji 

Rin: who is she 

Tohru: yuki u should add her to the group chat 

Yuki: hell no 

Kisa: pleaseeeeeeee

Kagura: please!!

Hatsuharu: i need to know who this person is 

Momiji: you know her already 

Hatsuharu: excuse me 

Hiro: this really isn’t that big of a deal but go off i guess… 

Yuki: im with hiro for the first time ever.

Rin: she’s probably delusional if she wants to date yuki 

Yuki: dont drag her/me like that only i get to do that 


Yuki: no. 

Momiji: plz 

Yuki: i hate all of you 

Momiji: i’ll go get her number and add her myself. 

Yuki: how did you even find out 

Momiji: we got paired for a chem project 

Momiji: and she saw my last name and asked if we were related

Momiji: and i was like not really but yes why 

Momiji: and she was like oh i know him 

Momiji: and i was like hm???? 

Momiji: but she didnt say anything after that 

Yuki: so how did you find out we were dating 


Momiji: also i saw her texting you today cuz i sit behind her now and i read it :-) 


Yuki: I- im coming to kick your ass dont move 

Hatsuharu: want me to do it for you 

Yuki: actually yeah go ahead 

Hatsuharu: i won’t take my bipolar medicine and just go off 

Rin: terrible idea haru 

Tohru: omg haru noooooo

Momiji: please do not 

Momiji: i just thought we should all know you have a gf 

Kisa: momiji you didnt have to read over her shoulder thats mean!
Hiro: that is a violation of privacy.
Yuki: again somehow i agree with hiro 

Tohru: i mean he had good intentions right momiji???

Momiji: tohru i love you and only you 

Kagura: heheh 

Kisa: whats she like???

Momiji: idk yet shes really quiet 

Tohru: i think she was asking yuki 

Hatsuharu: lmao 

Yuki: she puts up with me what more do you need to know 

Hatsuharu: i still need more details 

Rin: is she emotionally scarred like all of us 

Yuki: lol 

Yuki:... but yea 

Rin: k we kin her 

Rin: is it serious tho 

Yuki: my relationship or ? 

Rin: relationship 

Yuki: yes. 

Rin: maybe you should add her then 

Tohru: yeah!! 

Kagura: are you gonna add her or what 

Yuki: ill see if she wants to or not 

Yuki: she said no 


Tohru: yuki pleasssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Hatsuharu: yeah add her 

Momiji: plzzzzzzzzzzz

Hiro: i’m not gonna lie, im curious. 

Kisa: dont mess with her like you did to tohru 

Hiro: i…. Fine. 

Rin: i think you should hiro 

Hatsuharu: rin no 

Momiji: rin,,, yes
Tohru: i have only met her once,very briefly  but she seemed sweet :-) 

Rin: yeah but you like everyone 

Tohru: people are wonderful! 

Hatsuharu: where’d yuki go 

Momiji: he dipped 

Hatsuharu-> to -> what’s ur sign 


Hatsuharu: I asked her if she was dating yuki 

Momiji: ahhdjdjf this was really funny actually 

Yuki: haru why 

Rin: what happened 

Hatsuharu: immediately like five girls pounced on the question 

Momiji: yeah they were like “omg machi????” “Whatttt??!!” 

Momiji: then machi gave haru a death glare it was so funny 

Hatsuharu: I felt kinda bad afterwards because they kept asking her stuff 

Yuki: what did she even say? 

Hatsuharu: lol I’m getting there 

Yuki: what does that mean 

Hatsuharu: she didn’t really answer any of them and then one of them was like you’re so lucky and she said 

Hatsuharu: sorry I- momiji Can you 

Momiji: iM HAPPY TO 

Momiji: She looked at them deadass in the eyes and said “not really.” and then put her earbuds back in ICONIC 

Rin: oh my god 

Kagura: ahhahaha 

Yuki: Classic machi :,) 

Hatsuharu: she’s so chill I don’t understand 

Momiji: facts

Tohru: lol u guys 

Tohru: also when u gonna add her huh??? 

Kisa: ^^^ 

Yuki: never 

Kagura: you’re no fun yuki! 

Kisa: plz 

Hiro: you guys gotta quit pestering him about it. 

Yuki: hiro stop making me agree with you 

Hiro: if you drop it he’ll consider it more. 

Yuki: never mind you mastermind child 

Tohru: okay we will drop it 

Chapter Text

Hatsuharu-> to -> what’s ur sign 


Hatsuharu: day five of pestering yuki into adding his secret girlfriend commence 

Yuki: I- 

Momiji: please I keep talking to her in chem and she just keeps nodding 

Yuki: she probably doesn’t like you then huh 

Rin: lmao yuki 

Hatsuharu: to be fair miji you sang the German alphabet to her like twice 

Momiji: she had earbuds in I think for that 

Tohru: please yuki add herrrrrrrr 

Yuki: no. 

Kisa: please 

Kisa: I wanna meet her 

Yuki: you guys are just getting your hopes up 

Rin: to be fair the stories I’ve heard make her sound savage 

Yuki: not gonna lie she kinda is 

Rin: lit add her 

Rin: i need more people to roast everyone 

Kagura: yuki add her y’all are in loveeeeee 

Yuki: woah chill we’ve been dating for like 8 months and twenty days or something 

Kagura: is that the exact number 

Yuki: no…. 

tohru: omg that’s so sweet!!!! 


yuki: nah 

Tohru-> to -> yuki 

Tohru: pleaseeee 

Yuki: tohru why 

Tohru please ? For me? 

Yuki: I- 

Yuki: fine. 

Yuki-> to -> machi 


Yuki: hey my family wants me to add you to the group chat

Machi: what do you mean 

Yuki: idk they just really want to meet you I guess 

Machi: do I really wanna do that tho 

Yuki: I’ve been saying no this whole time for you 

Yuki: and me but mostly you but...

Machi: but? 

Yuki: tohru asked me to 

Machi: awe u gotta listen to your mom yuki 

Yuki: I hate you omg 

Machi: lol

Yuki: also I heard what happened with the girls at school 

Machi: oh yeah. They’re so annoying idk how you put up with it 

Machi: they were like yuki has beautiful hair blah blah no offense your hair is literally the same color as a grandpa 

Yuki: you said it was nice three nights ago…… 

machi: I was being nice!

Yuki: really? It didn’t seem that way………. ;) 

Machi: STOP I-

machi: whatever oldman 

Yuki: ITS silvER

Machi: gray. 

Yuki: I’m adding you to the group chat final decision 

Machi: what no


yuki-> to -> whats ur sign 


Yuki: my girlfriend made fun of me so im adding her to drive her insane :) 

Momiji: oMG 


Machi: hi 

Rin: please tell me how you insulted him to make him want to torture you like this 

Momiji: ^ 

Kisa: hi machi! 

Kagura: nice to meet you 

Hatsuharu: whats your starsign, blood type, myer briggs type 

Machi: uh 

Yuki: hahahha 

Machi: i hate you yuki


Rin: what did you say

Momiji: this was my idea btw machi 

Machi: I just made fun of his hair 


Machi: its gray 

Rin: lmao 

Hatsuharu: hes a silver fox 

Machi: no hes a grandpa 

Momiji: omg he is like a grandpa 

Yuki: i- 

Rin: this was a terrible idea yuki on your part 

Kyo: tohru said we were making fun of yuki IM HERE MOTHERFUCKERS 

Kisa: kyo language 

Kyo: oh sorry 

Kyo: mother truckers * 

Kyo: anyway yeah yuki sucks 


Momiji: mother trucker that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick 

Rin: momiji wtf 

Momiji: its a vine you uncultured swine 

Momiji: omg that ryhmed :D 

Hiro: you all really need to stop spamming me. 

Rin: yeah go get a life 

Hiro: you are not allowed to say that. Rin. 

Hatsuharu: dang dragged by a 12 year old 


Rin: I- 

Tohru: hahahha 

Kyo: youre a little shit thats what you are 

Hiro: kyo you can read? Since when? 

Rin: damn

Kisa: omg 

Momiji: omg hiro dont expose him like that 

Yuki: hiro i love you

Kyo: i can fucking read stfu hiro 

Tohru: kyo can read i have seen it 

Kyo: thanks TOHRU 

Kagura: kyo cant read 


Rin: iconic 

Kagura: remember when you left me on read for a month 

Kyo: yea…. My bad

Tohru: kyo just never has his phone on him 

Momiji: he is a man of nature

Kyo: exactly! 

Hiro: pretty sure momiji was making fun of you 

Kyo: oh

Yuki: HAHHA 

Kisa: its okay kyo we know you live in the woods :) 

Rin: damn even kisa 

Kyo: I dont live in the woods! Just near it

Hatsuharu: kyo uses smoke signals to contact people 

Yuki: hahahah yes 

Kyo: stfu 

Momiji: whoa wait kyo knows how to use internet lingo

Yuki: woah wait kyo knows how to use the internet 

Tohru: okay i think thats good 

Tohru: kyo ur doing amazing sweetie 

Kyo: this is why Tohru is the only person on my will 

Rin: thats so intense 

Hatsuharu: damn. 


Chapter Text

Grl pwr: 


Uo: just stopped myself from throwing hands with a customer I deserve a reward 

Hana: do you though? 

Uo: yes 

Tohru: hey uo everyone dragged kyo today, thought u should kno 

Uo: I’ve never been happier in my entire life 

Hana: why did they do that 

Tohru: cuz he never uses his phone :,( 

Uo: pretty sure he lives in a cave 

Tohru: we don’t live in a cave!! 

Hana: hm my waves think otherwise 

Tohru: omg no 

Uo: can’t believe I confirmed they live in a cave I mean it’s better than a tent right Tohru 

Tohru: hahdjdjjfkf omg uo that was one time 

Hana: hahaha 

Tohru-> to -> kyo 


Tohru: can u plz tell uo we don’t live in a cave 

Kyo: yea 

Tohru: u answered! :D a genuine miracle 

Kyo: I have a different ringtone for you 

Tohru: omg hold on I’ll make for you too! 

Kyo: it’s okay you don’t have to 

Tohru: no it’ll b cute! 

Kyo: haha okay 

Tohru: okay I’m done! 

Kyo: oh shoot I gotta tell uo we don’t live in a cave 


Kyo-> to -> fab five 


Kyo: uo we don’t live in a fucking cave 

Uo: yea sure Kyon Kyon 

Yuki: what you’re making Tohru live in a cave?? 


Tohru: there’s a porch and everything! 

Hana: Tohru lives in the House and a few feet away from it there’s a cave 

Hana: that’s where Kyo lives 

Tohru: Hana no! 

Uo: lol 

Yuki: I can see that 

Kyo: I don’t, have not, will not, LIVE IN A FUCKING CAVE 

Kyo: too dark 

Yuki: okay valid 

Uo: that’s why you have fire n fucking torches 

Hana: an outhouse 

Yuki: no a bucket 

Uo: lmao yea 

Tohru: I have evidence he lives with me in our home 

Tohru: \image\ 

Uo: awe he seems so harmless when he’s asleep 

Hana: cute 

Yuki: hes drooling ha 

Tohru: that’s the cute part! 

Uo: debatable 

Yuki: I disagree 

Hana: where did he even go 

Uo: kyo dipped 

Yuki: haha 

Tohru: you guys r meanies 

Uo: oh I’m sorry 



Hana: Tohru I didn’t know you had that in you 

Uo: she’s been around Kyo too much 

Tohru: :,) 

Chapter Text

Tohru-> to -> what’s ur sign 

Tohru: hey guys just saw a really cute squirrel but i couldn’t get a pic :,( 

Rin: just google squirrels 

Momiji: ITs not the same! 

Tohru Honda: mhm that squirrel was special! 

Momiji: it wasn’t some google stock photo squirrel 

Hatsuharu: is that even a thing momiji? 

Momiji: I hope so 

Yuki: shouldn’t you two be in school 

Rin: ^

Momiji: bold of you to assume I’m paying attention 

Hatsuharu: yeah I’m skipping class right now

Rin: no you’re not 

Hatsuharu: yeah I’m actually just in the bathroom 

Tohru Honda: how the heck r u getting away with texting in class? 

Momiji: used my charm obvi 

Hatsuharu: I’m in the same class, can confirm 

Yuki: kids these days… 

Rin: i- 

Hatsuharu: you’re a year older than us yuki 

Yuki: did I stutter 

Tohru Honda: yuki shdnkdjd 

Kagura: where is Kyo? 

Tohru: u kno he has a general distaste for technology 


Momiji: is it from google?? 

Kagura: no i took it MYSELF thank you very much 

Rin: send it coward 

Kagura: \image\ 

Tohru: :,) so cuteeeeee 

Momiji: hes just a little creature… 

hatsuharu: sorry guys i got caught 

Momiji: yea now he’s texting in class 

Tohru: how’d u get away with that?? 

Hatsuharu: told her it was a family matter :) 

Rin: you aint even slick 

Hatsuharu: I mean I’m not lying… 

yuki: hm inch resting 


Momiji: yo it’s lunch and some random guy just got rejected by a straight 6

Hatsuharu: eh 5.8

Momiji: really? Harsh haru

Hatsuharu: it be like that 

Yuki: is machi there 

Momiji: hold on I think that was machi 

Yuki: what 

Hatsuharu: hes just messing with you yuki. 

Yuki: okay I was gonna say she’s at least a 7 

Tohru: YUKI! 

Yuki: I’m kidding

Rin: savage 

Kagura: I was gonna say don’t treat your lady like that even if she’s never on the group chat 

Yuki: you guys probably annoy her 

Momiji: @machi defend yourself girl 

Machi: nah I’m good 

Momiji: understandable have a nice day 

Rin: iconic I love how she doesn’t give a fuck 

Machi: I do sometimes 

Yuki: When 

Machi: I dunno let me think about it 

Rin: love that for you 

Tohru: u all should be enjoying ur lunch instead of texting us! 

Momiji: I can multitask it’s the cafeteria no one cares if we text 

Hatsuharu: machi I can see you from across the cafeteria 

Machi: k stalker 

Yuki: HAHA

Momji: skksksk 

Tohru: lol 

Momiji: we are sitting next to her now :D 

Rin: Im quoting that k stalker forever now 

Kisa: that’s a really cute squirrel kagura! <3 

Kisa: I just got out of school :-) 

Tohru: how was ur day?? 

Hiro: not great, I’ll tell you that. 

Kisa: hiro walked into a door 

Hiro: ON accident 

Kisa: on accident yea……...

Momiji: sureeeeee hiro 

Hiro: I despise you, momiji. 

Rin: i know i already asked but why do you use punctuation 

Hiro: because, unlike you, I am not a fool who uses a coma for “emphasis”. I’m looking at you momiji. 

Momiji: don’t out me like that, hiro. 

Tohru: lol u guys :,) 

Hatsuharu: momiji is hip with the internet lingo ig 

Momiji: you know who isn’t 

Hatsuharu: kyo 

Yuki: kyo 

Hiro: kyo 

Momiji: hiro 

Momiji: oh dang wrong direction. 

Momiji: don’t drag kyo he’s not here to defend himself

Yuki: pretty sure he doesn’t know how to use a phone 

Hatsuharu: he uses messenger birds 

Yuki: that’s implying he’s literate, which I can not confirm. 

Kagura: guys that’s so mean kyo knows how to read! 

Kagura: right Tohru! 

Tohru: I’ve nvr seen him do it 

Yuki: confirmed kyo can’t read 

Tohru: because he hasn't answered my texts today :,(

Momiji: I’ll kill him 

Kagura: don’t do that 

Yuki: yeah that’s my job momiji 

Rin: i leave for an hour and you guys are plotting Kyos murder 

Hiro: I know. Absolutely barbaric. 

Hatsuharu: I mean he won’t see it coming since he doesn’t read texts 

Kisa: omg haru

Yuki: Ha 

Rin: savage 

Tohru: okee I’m done dragging him I’ll just go tell kyo to read his texts now...

Tohru: he lost his phone in our house plz drag him his ringer is off we will never find it 

Yuki: I’ve waited my entire life for this 

Hiro: how irresponsible. 

Rin: you’re like 13 

Hiro: I’m fifteen. 

Momiji: babey 

Kisa: lol 

Hiro: I hate this family. 

Hatsuharu: stop being emo and help us drag kyo 

Hiro: I literally already did haru. 

Kagura: kyo sucks because I called him three times and he still haven’t answered!!!! 

Yuki: love it keep this up @machi come support me on my big day 

Machi: I’ve never met him 

Yuki: is that your drag 

Machi: yea 

Yuki: okay fair sucks to not have met you 

Machi: I- 

Hatsuharu: comedy genius yuki 

Rin: kyos a ginger that alone is enough 

Momiji: roasted 

Momiji: kyo still wears cargo pants even in the year 2019 

Yuki: dang okay that’s pretty intense idk who can top that 

Tohru: we still haven’t found it :,(

Kisa: uh kyo once tried to fight a 12 year old 

Kisa: that 12 year old was hiro 

Hiro: kisa why?

Momiji: ahhsjsjd nearly three hands with a 13 year old 

Yuki: kisa I love you

Kagura: I’m screen shooting ALL OF THESE then I’m gonna print them out and mail them to kyo so he can finally read them! 

Rin: we confirmed earlier he can’t read 

Yuki: yeah 

Tohru: GUYS stop he found it!! 

Tohru: it’s dead. 


Momiji: sjjdjdjd 

Hiro: what an idiot! 


Kagura: you left me on read for a month. 

Kyo: I didn’t know what to say???? 

Hatsuharu: I can’t believe it a once in a lifetime experience 

Hatsuharu: kyo texting 

Kyo: shit up haru 

Hatsuharu: shit up 

Kyo: oh no 

Yuki: shit up 

Momiji: shit up 

Kisa: sh*t up 

Hiro: shit up 

Rin: lmao kyo you can read ? 

Kyo: yes I can fucking read 

Yuki: color me surprised 


Yuki: are you sure about that 

Momiji: I gotta take kyos side on this one 

Tohru: I have nvr heard that saying before 

Yuki: really??? 

Tohru: yea it’s cute tho 

Tohru: color me surprised! 

Kyo: Tohru why 

Tohru: it’s cute! >:) 

Kyo: >:)? 

Tohru: it’s mischievous 

Kyo: ooohhhh ok

Rin: kyo doesn’t know what emoticons are 

Yuki: loser 

Kyo: Tohru how do I block people? 

Momiji: Tohru isn’t Alexa or Siri kyo 

Hatsuharu: Tohru play despacito 

Rin: I- 

Kagura: despacito? 

Momiji: oh kagura my sweet, sweet girl 

Kagura: what????


Kagura: I don’t like that song 

Hiro: me neither. 

Kyo: that’s because you listen to mcr 

Hiro: don’t act like you don’t. 

Kyo: I like neck deep now. 

Hatsuharu: I love them my fave song is gold steps

Kyo: I like that one too. I think mine is kali Ma 

Rin: facts those are both really good 

Yuki: you guys are emo 

Kisa: I like some danger day songs by

Mcr  gold steps is okay. I like the message 

Yuki: you’re an exception always 

Momiji: I- danger days is good actually I can’t say anything 

Chapter Text

Machi-> to -> yuki 

Machi: \image\ 

Machi: I got you this because it reminded me of you 

Yuki: it’s basil?

Machi: you said you were going to grow little herbs/plants in your apartment. 

Yuki: :-) yeah I am 

Yuki: I’ll put it out in my balcony! 

Machi: awe cute it can be with its little plant friends 

Yuki: exactly

Yuki: why are we both so easily amused 

Machi: mostly you but idk 

Yuki: mmm pretty sure you too 

Machi: no you 

Yuki: woah dial that sass back 

Machi: nah 

Yuki: haha anyway I’ll see you Sunday :-) 

Machi: mhm! Mr.basil is coming 

Yuki: that’s a terrible name 

Machi: it’s simple yet complex 

Yuki: no it’s not you just named it after the plant 

Machi: basil is it’s last name 

Yuki: what’s its first name 

Machi: you’re not on first name terms with him yet slow down 

Yuki: HAHAH okay okay I have to go 

Machi: see ya 

Yuki: :-) 

Kakeru-> to -> student council bitchesss 


Kakeru: y’all we gotta have a reunion 

Kimi: omg yessss!!! 

Kimi: I’ll bring refreshments 

Yuki: where n when 

Kakeru: oh yuki always actually planing 

Yuki: it’s not my fault I do all the work around here 

Kakeru: please I (as in me, as in Kakeru)  came up with the idea 

Kimi: guys omg lets just meet at a restaurant 

Yuki: okay yeah sounds good 

Yuki: minus Kakeru 


Kakeru: alone** 

Yuki: akone what does that mean 

Kakeru: you know what I meant!!! 

Kimi: what restaurant though??? 

Yuki: uh 

Kakeru: Korean bbq!

Kimi: okay ?? You guys good with that? 

Machi: I don’t really have a preference 

Kimi: machi omg you finally answered 

Machi: yea sorry 

Kakeru: don’t you really like kimchi 

Machi: yea

Yuki: anything spicy really 

Machi: I like it so spicy it hurts 

Kakeru: kinky 

Machi: I hate you 


Kakeru: what ??? 

Yuki: anyway what day can you guys meet up for this I’m good either this Thursday or next Saturday 

Machi: I can’t Thursday 

Kimi: oh? 

Kakeru: I can both days as well but also machi what you have plans? 

Machi: yea 

Kimi: ??????? Oh????? 

Yuki: OOohh 

Kakeru: tell us?!!!!!?? 

Machi: nah it’s not really important I can cancel if Thursday works better 


Kakeru: same ????!!!! 

Yuki: no it’s okay you don’t have cancel we can do next Saturday

Kimi: yeah okay sounds good kimi will be there 

Kimi: we are doing the one by the ikea right? 

Kakeru: across from it yea!!! 

Kimi: I still wanna know machis plans……

Kakeru: ….. me too…….. 

yuki: lowkey me as well…..

Machi: too bad 


kimi: a hint????? 

Kakeru: yeah a clue ???? Please I’m your brother! 

Machi: and I hate you 

Kakeru: you hurt me machi you hurt me so 

Yuki-> to -> machi 


Yuki: are you gonna tell me 

Machi: maybe what’s in it for me 

Yuki: oh my god machi 

Yuki: I’ll get you a mogeta keychain 

Machi: hm I’ll think about it 

Yuki: MAchi pleaseeee 

Machi: maybe 


Machi: I’m gonna tell you 

Yuki: okay should I sit down 

Machi: yeah 

Yuki: okay 

Machi: I’m… 

Machi: … 

Machi: gonna get a haircut 

Yuki: you suck are you serious 

Machi: I mean kinda 

Yuki: what do you mean kinda 

Machi: I am getting a haircut that day 

Yuki: but 

Machi: I’ve got an art show at 6 

Yuki: what 

Yuki: what why didn’t you say anything 

Machi: didn’t think it was too important 

Yuki: I i need to go to it 

Machi: okay 

Yuki: you should tell the group chat 

Machi: k 

Machi-> to -> student council bitchessss 


Machi: I have an art show at 6 at the event center on Thursday 

Machi: there

Kimi: omg !?? Kimi will be there!!! 

Kakeru: wtf why didn’t you say anything 

Yuki: we should all go 

Kimi: yes!!!


Kimi: YESSS!! 

Yuki: hahah okay your caffeine addiction is getting out of hand Kakeru 



machi: okay just don’t act like that there 


Kakeru-> to -> machi 


Kakeru: does your mom know? 

Kakeru: does dad know? 

Machi: no 

Kakeru: why? 

Machi: idk 

Machi: didn’t feel like telling them 

Kakeru: okay why 

Machi: idk 

Kakeru: machi… 

Kakeru: I didn’t even know you did art 

Machi: I didn’t really until recently to be fair 

Kakeru: you shoulda told us 

Machi: nah it’s really not a big deal it’s not like I’m good or anything 

Kakeru: still ?!

Chapter Text

Momiji-> to -> what’s ur sign 


Momiji: yo you guys remember how me and yuki’s girlfriend got assigned as partners in chem 

Hatsuharu: yeah and I got stuck with some random person i don’t know 

Momiji: yeah and how you won’t stop complaining about it 

Rin: rip 

Tohru: I’ve only met her once!! U get to see her everyday not fair

Yuki: not fair indeed

Rin: we love you miji but i dont know how you havent  scared her off yet

Momiji: YET? 

Yuki: I’m surprised too 

Momiji: I’ll tell her u say hi 

Machi: I’m in this group chat 

Momiji: oh yeah 

Rin: lol 

Kagura: you guys are on your phones during class again?? 

Hatsuharu:it’s for research. 

Kyo: bull shit 

Momiji: kyos here!!! 

Momiji: I gotta go rip me 

Hatsuharu: they’re actually working huh would you look at that 

Rin: pics or it didn’t happen 

Yuki: I- 

Hatsuharu: \image\ there

Hatsuharu: I’m so bored 

Kyo: aren’t you supposed to be doing shit for class 

Hatsuharu: uh yeah 

Hatsuharu: I’ll do it the last day 

Tohru: omg haru u shouldn’t procrastinate so much! 

Rin: do your work 

Hatsuharu: ughhhhhg 

Yuki: yeah 

Hatsuharu: fine 

Rin: why does he listen to yuki over me 

Tohru: and me?? 

Rin: rip us huh Tohru 

Kyo: hey I have a question 

Kagura: what is it? 

Kyo: how do I mute this 

Rin: you’re so fucking stupid 


Yuki: why do you wnat to mute us so badly huh 

Kagura: YEAH 

Tohru: yeah! 

Rin: i get why i mean i have y’all on mute 

Kagura: but you still text us all the time 

Rin: it’s not like I have anything better to do 

Kyo: see, I do have shit to do 

Rin: like what 

Kyo: nunya business 

Tohru: hes helping me put frames up also we r doing the flooring rn it’s wood babeyyyy 

Yuki: okay he’s helping Tohru I will give him a pass 

Rin: okay fine 

Kagura: kyos a good boyfriend 


Tohru: it’s loving Kyo hours 

Yuki: no thanks 

Rin: lol 

Hatsuharu: I’ll participate Tohru 

Tohru: yay! 

Yuki: go back to work haru 

Hatsuharu: we had to evacuate because someone …. set a fire 

Momiji: yeah me and machi accidentally set a table on fire 

Momiji: no regrets

Rin: wtf how 

Momiji: well they gave US benson burners 

Hatsuharu: that’s fair they’re my hero’s I didn’t want to do work 

Yuki: oh my god 

Tohru: r u okay?? 

Machi: yea  it was “lit” -momiji 

Momiji: literally 

Hatsuharu: I still don’t understand how it happened 

Machi: me neither 

Momiji: ahejjdjdjdkd yes you do omg 

Machi: I don’t know what you’re talking about 

Hatsuharu: I- hold on where are you guys I’m by the track still 

Hatsuharu: nvm I found u 

Yuki: I honestly don’t know who’s the bad influence between those three 

Tohru: omg I wonder what happened D: 

Kyo: they set something on fire? that’s so fucking metal 

Rin: lowkey i agree with Kyo 

Hatsuharu-> to -> rin 

Hatsuharu: the pic of the burnt desks reminds me of u 

Rin: wtf why 

Hatsuharu: \image\ 

Rin: oh okay nvm i see it 

Hatsuharu: see 

Rin: True Love is sending pics of burnt desks 

Hatsuharu: yep it smells good too 

Rin: that’s weird haru 

Hatsuharu: not in that way it smells like a campfire 

Rin: we should go camping 

Hatsuharu: yea! 

Rin: woah I haven’t seen you use an exclamation mark in so long


Rin: stop please 

Momiji -> to -> yuki 


Momiji: it has been five weeks and machi has finally warmed up to me :D 

Yuki: what that was fast 

Momiji: the fire reallly bonded us 

Yuki: oh my god 

Momiji: anywya i will keep you updated 

Yuki: it’s okay you do not 

Momiji: here’s a pic you would have gotten if you follow me on snap 

Momiji: /image/ 

Yuki: hhhhhh 

Yuki: cute 

Momiji: :D you can see some of the fire getting on her hair 

Yuki: oh. 

Chapter Text


Momiji-> to -> arsonists 


Momiji: I made us a group chat 

Hatsuharu: sweet 

Machi: this is a mistake 

Momiji: lolllll 

Momiji: I still can’t get over how we got out of being suspended 

Machi: it wasn’t really our faults … maybe a little

Momiji: lol it totally was I asked if you wanted to set our work on fire to get out of it and you said yes and threw it 

Machi: you asked me


Machi: your handwriting is too neat but yea I did do that 

Hatsuharu: machi you’re an enabler you know that 

Momiji: lollll 

Machi: I’m certified in enabling  yes

Hatsuharu: I- 

Momiji: hatsuharu you should just ditch your chem partner and join us 

Machi: yea we need supervision

Momijj: whjdjdjd yea 

Hatsuharu: I will ask our teacher actually sounds lit 

Hatsuharu: I’ll add the supervision part 


Hatsuharu: she said yes omg we are great at manipulating the system 

Machi: fuck authority

Hatsuharu: fuck yeahh 



momiji: just kidding that is illegal 

Hatsuharu: May I repeat: fuck authority

Machi: may I repeat: illegal 

Momiji: skjdjdjjdd yea I don’t wanna got to jail 

Hatsuharu: true you know what they’ll do to guys like you in prison?

Momiji: HARU WTF 

Machi: lol 

Momiji: I would have thought you do the hahahas like yuki 

Machi: only old people do that 

Momiji: I- 

Hatsuharu: lol

Hatsuharu -> to -> yuki 


Hatsuharu: your girlfriend is approved by me 

Yuki: haha okay? 

Yuki what is with you and momiji 

Yuki: what makes you say that 

Hatsuharu: she’s cool 

Yuki: because she set a fire? 

Hatsuharu: she technically did do that but to be fair it was momijis idea 

Yuki: elaborate 

Hatsuharu: it’s a long story anyway the three of us are buddies now :) 

Yuki: that smile is very unnerving 

Yuki-> to -> machi


Yuki: why does hatsuharu admire you all the sudden 

Yuki: what happened??

Machi: what 

Machi: I don’t think I would say admire but I think we’re friends now? 

Machi: I can’t really tell tho you know me 

Yuki: yeah I understand what you mean 

Yuki: also I hope you didn’t take that the wrong way I’m happy you get along 

Machi: I didn’t I knew what you meant you’re just confused because all the sudden your whole family is in on this other thing they didn’t know about or were part of 

Yuki: that’s exactly it 

Yuki: hold on I’m gonna call you 

Machi: kk 

Tohru-> to -> Kyo 


Tohru: i have two things 

Tohru: one: I miss u 

Tohru: two plzzzz bring me back chicken nuggets 

Kyo: okay I’ve been gone for three hours 

Kyo: also what sauces 

Tohru: omg yayyy uh honey mustard and ketchup 

Kyo: frys? 

Tohru: yes plz 

Kyo: I’m gonna get us a McFlurry too 

Tohru: omg yes  the m&m one 

Kyo: duh 

Tohru: u kno me so well :,) 

Kyo: yea ig 

Kyo: k I’ll be back soon I don’t wanna text n drive 

Tohru: k good I’m in our bed but I’ll get plates n water tho 

Kyo: dinner in bed hell yes 

Kyo: can you turn Htv on too please 


Kyo: I fucking love you 

Tohru: <3

Chapter Text


Momiji-> to -> what’s your sign


Momiji: haru is a cow. And a boy. Therefore ,,,,, cowboy 

Rin: momiji wtf it’s 2am 

Momiji: I had what I thought was decaf green tea 

Momiji: ‘‘twas not decaf 

Rin: k but your right we need to start calling him  cowboy haru 

Yuki: hahhahahah 

Rin: why the fuck are you up 

Yuki: I’m just generally a disaster 

Rin: okay valid 

Momiji: yo nocturnal squad 

Yuki: you turn everything into a squad 

Momiji: you bet I do 

Rin: i just changed every contact name of harus to cowboy 

Yuki: lol I’m gonna photoshop his face over Clint Eastwood hold on 

Momiji: 2am yuki is the best yuki 

Rin: Im so ready 

Yuki: /image/ 

Momiji: this town ain’t big enough for the two of us 

Rin: LMAO 

Yuki: I can not say I’m proud of that on a clear conscience 

Momiji: Wait rin why r you up 

Yuki: yeah 

Rin: ya girl ate some gluten on accident 

Yuki: bitch you’re a celiac 


Momiji: oh celiac rin :,) so careless 

Rin: listen how tf am I supposed to know tortilla chips have gluten 


Rin: CORN 

Yuki: you- 

Yuki: flour tortillas rin. Flour. 

Rin: Wait i thought tortilla chips were all corn chips 

Momiji: RIN OH MY GOD 

Rin: wtf why WASNT i aware of this 

Yuki: celiac rin suffers from dumb bitch disease like the rest of us 

Momiji: again we collectively share three brain cells and Hiro hogs two of them 

Rin: brb throwing out my non corn chips 


Yuki: okay I need to go to bed I have class at 8:30 

Yuki: good night celiac rin and momiji 

Momiji: that boy is a disaster isnt he celiac rin

Rin: aren’t we all 

Tohru-> to -> what’s ur sign 


Tohru: omg I enjoyed reading thru that ahhshsbbd 

Kisa: me too lol 

Hatsuharu: I can’t believe I’m cowboy haru now what 

Momiji: can i get a yee haw ?! 

Kisa: yee haw!!!! 

Tohru: yee haw!

Hatsuharu: no 

Tohru: yes!

Kisa: oh!!! Guys!!  me and Hiro just watched detective pikachu 

Hatsuharu: was it good

Kisa: surprisingly yes

Hiro: it was alright, the ending was strange. I really liked the Pokémon though. 

Kisa: me too! 

Hiro: I want. A bulbasaur. 

Rin: nah charmander 

Kisa: I gotta go with Hiro I like bulbasaur but growlith thoooooo

Hatsuharu: throw back to watching Pokémon on YouTube in 140p 

Rin: don’t forget the episode is in three parts 

Kisa: the audio is off by a little bit too 

Hiro: I love jelly donuts! 

Rin: lmao 

Kisa: highkey team rocket was my fave 

Kisa: meaowth was so funny!! 

Hiro: I remember their backstories being really sad though… 

Rin: they fuckin were meowth learned to speak English cuz he got stuck in a vent at a school 

Hatsuharu: what the hell 

Kisa: oh and Jesse was poor and ate snow and soy sauce when she was hungry!! 

Rin: that shit was harsh I forgot about that 

Hatsuharu: pokemon ain’t playing 

Hiro: even though it’s literally playing a game. 

Kagura: omg I have the first movies on vhs 

Hiro: kagura you’re so old. 

Kisa: respect your elders 

Kagura: I’m really not!!! 

Rin: do you need help crossing the street grandma kagura 

Hatsuharu: lmao let me get a walker for you 


Rin: wait shit you have a grey hair omg 

Machi: yuki alrwady went grey poor guy 

Hatsuharu: HAHSHHAH

Kisa: old man yuki and grandma kagura 

Hiro: bonus caveman Kyo! 

Rin: don’t forget 12 year old Hiro :) 

Hiro: and celiac rin. :)

Kisa: kakdkndndn oh and cowboy haru

Hatsuharu: where is momiji he usually is always on 

Machi: I made him finish his work for the project so we can actually be done 

Rin: smart

Machi: my back hurts from carrying our group 

Hatsuharu: omg stop you fuckin set a fire and ripped like two pieces of paper 

Yuki: machi is a chaotic neutral 

Yuki: also stop slandering me It’s silver 

Rin: grey 

Hiro: grey, 

Kisa: grey

Hatsuharu: grey 

Machi: lol get him 

Yuki: I- 

Kagura: how does it feel being called old huh yuki 

Yuki: shut up grandma kagura knit me a sweater 

Rin: damn 


Momiji: May i just say, I love all of you 

Momiji: oldman yuki, 12 year old Hiro, grandma kagura, chaotic neutral machi, cowboy haru, celiac rin, caveman Kyo, tent dweller tohru, and roast queen kisa. 

Machi: thanks label maker momiji 

Yuki: I- 

Tohru: that’s so cute momiji 

Kagura: I think me and yuki got the worst ones...

Rin: Kyo is literally a caveman but go off 

Hiro: I think mines the worst 

Kagura: nvm it is 

Kisa: it is 

Yuki: yeah 

Momiji: ‘‘tis the worst 


Kyo: I actually laughed at those nicknames not gonna lie 

Tohru: even tho they called u caveman 

Kyo: whatever tent dweller 

Yuki: hahhahahah 

Momiji: omg Kyo made a joke! Everyone come back 

Rin: Im gonna take a fat nap but I appreciate that joke 

Hatsuharu: I wanna cuddle 

Rin: drive over here then 

Hatsuharu: ok 

Momiji: first ew get a room 

Momiji: second don’t get lost haru 

Hatsuharu: bitch it’s a mile away 

Hatsuharu: and my car has navigation 

Tohru: anjdjdnjdjd stay safe haru 

Yuki: tohru shoulda been mom tohru instead of tent dweller 

Tohru: thanks son, 

Yuki: np mom 

Kyo: does that make me dad Kyo 


Kyo: do you talk to your dad that way 

Yuki: I hate myself 

Kyo: come on sport let’s go play a game of catch 



Hiro: show your parents some respect yuki! 

Yuki: I- 

Kisa: Im crying from laughing omg 

Tohru: be home for dinner yuki 

Kyo: go study hard at school champ 

Tohru: we will put ur grades on the fridge 

Kisa: family meeting at 6! 

Hiro: don’t forget to do your chores young man. 

Tohru: yeah! clean ur room young man! 

Momiji: sometimes a family is a tent dweller, a caveman and their grey haired son. 

Tohru: jsjdmfnmfnf 

Kisa: he isn’t answering oof 

Kyo: I think we broke him 

Kagura: I don’t think I have laughed this much in a long time 

Hiro: me neither! 

Yuki: I genuinely want to disappear 

Tohru: sorry did we go too far? 

Tohru: omg yuki im so sorry! Please forgive me!! 


Machi: yuki was just being dramatic 

Yuki: machi you didn’t defend me smh 

Machi: I didn’t because I want your parents to like me 


Tohru: oh okay good I was scared 

Kyo: you’re grounded for making your mother worry 

Kisa: Kyo omg !! 

Yuki: honestly I agree with that punishment 

Momiji: yuki Can you come hang out oh wait 


Rin: fuck I missed the funniest thing that has happened on here wtf 

Hatsuharu: lmao rip yuki 

Chapter Text

Kagura -> to -> what’s your sign


Kagura: how are all of you on this lovely Thursday we haven’t chatted in the group chat for a while 

Hiro: it’s been a day. One day  of sweet, sweet silence. 

Momiji: me haru and machi finished our project today :-) 

Hatsuharu: oh yeah we also didn’t commit arson this time so that’s a bonus 

Rin: lmao 

Rin: how did it turn out 

Momiji: ⅓ of our group is smart so it’s pretty good 

Rin: is it machi 

Momiji: I- 

Yuki: probably tbh 

Hatsuharu: yuki how could you 

Hatsuharu: you’re right tho no offense momiji 

Momiji: none taken 

Momiji: I know three languages so you know chem isn’t my thang and that’s okay 

Hatsuharu: trilingual king 

Momiji: lajsjkdkd 

Tohru: hey guys!! 

Tohru: me and Kyo are almost done with redoing the floors :-) 

Kagura: oh yeah I totally forgot you were remodeling the whole house 

Rin: kagura we spent a whole fucking day knocking down walls and ripping out cabinets in their kitchen together the other day

Hatsuharu: it was como se dice lit 

Momiji: oh lol yeah that was like a week ago huh? 

Tohru: yeah well we got it really cheap so we could save money by renovating it ourselves 

Tohru: also me and Kyo r obsessed with property brothers 

Yuki: lol Kyo watches htv 

Rin: everyone loves htv yuki don’t lie 

Hatsuharu: facts 

Rin: it was on my hospital tv all the time and not gonna lie jonathan property is hot 

Tohru: their last name is property? 

Rin: oh i don’t know they’re the property brothers so John and drew property 

Kisa: using that method, Mario brothers: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. 

Hatsuharu: Lolllll 

Rin: omg kisa lmao 

Momiji: hahsjdjjddk 


Momiji: hey guys the culinary club I’m part of is serving cookies we made at the art show tonight y’all should come,,,,, 

Tohru: okay! Let me tell Kyo to come 

Yuki: I’ll be there already 

Kisa: oh yeah okay !!! 

Hiro: Is it at the event center? 

Momiji: correct 

Rin: i would but Im busy 

Hatsuharu: doing what 

Rin: appointment 

Kagura: I’ll try to make it!! What cookies did you make?

Momiji: I made the peanut butter ones :,) 

Hiro: so the easiest cookies? 


Momiji: but yeah 

Kagura: I have a question 

Hatsuharu: shoot 

Kagura: why don’t we have the rest of the zodiac squad 

Rin: because we strongly dislike them next question 

Rin: not Ritsu tho they’re cool 

Yuki: ^ 

Yuki: also Ritsu would freak out no offense 

Tohru: that’s very true 

Hatsuharu: the rest of them are too old 

Kagura: heh okay makes sense 

Yuki: yeah just think about it why on earth would you want Ayami here 

Tohru: No comment 

Momiji: even Tohru didn’t want to think about it ahdjjdjjj 

Machi: that would suck full offense to Ayame 

Machi: also why am I still here 

Momiji: lol that’s right you met him shhdjdjjdf 

Machi: yea it is a time I wish to forget

Kisa: you’re here because we begged yuki to add you to the chat 

Tohru: ur are one of us now! 

Hatsuharu: that’s vaguely threatening Tohru 

Tohru: oh oops shhdjjdjf 

Rin: i can feel machis overall distaste for human interactions from text 

Machi: just interacting with momiji really 


hatsuharu: lol earlier today- ah its a long story nvm 

Momiji: she broke my pencil 


machi: did you not provoke it 

Momiji: I- 

Hatsuharu: he absolutely did 

Machi: that’s what I thought

Yuki: wtf 

Rin: i like her 

Kisa: I wanna know ???!!!? 

Hiro: I’m not sure if I appreciate that she broke his pencil or if I should be scared… 

machi: why only one 

Yuki: scared 


Hatsuharu: repeatedly 

Momiji: then I stoped when she got up ???? 

Machi: bitch you flung it across the room at me after I got up 

Hatsuharu: LAMO OH YEAH 

Hiro: MOMIJI. 

Rin: LAMO lol haru 

Tohru: momiji why 

Momiji: haru and I had gotten iced coffee before hand and I think I had too much caffeine in my system 

Yuki: omg machi another Kakeru 

Machi: yea I know yuki I learned the hard way 

Kagura: who’s that 

Yuki: my best friend 

Machi: my annoying ass brother 

Momiji: are you calling me annoying machi???? Is that all I am to you 

Machi: You’re like the brother I never wanted 

Hatsuharu: don’t you have another brother 

Machi: yeah I don’t see him as much as I see momiji though which is a pity 

Rin: facts who would want to see miji everyday 


Tohru: I would miji!!! 


Momiji->to -> machi


Momiji: hey I have a little sister I never see too 

Machi: really? 

Momiji: yeah my dad doesn’t really want her to know we are related for whatever reason 

Momiji: that sucks. I’m sorry. 

Momiji: it’s okay! I sneak to see her sometimes 

Machi:  that’s good!  I don’t get to do that my mom is insane 

Momiji: really??

Machi: I was trying to put a blanket on my baby brother and she thought I was going to kill him 

Momiji: wtf????? 

Machi: yeah she’s crazy she thinks I’m jelaous or something so I live alone 

Machi: it’s kinda nice though 

Momiji: omg that sucks 

Machi: nah 

Momiji: I would send an angry email to your mom 

Machi: lol 

Momiji: thanks for trusting me enough to tell me that 

Machi: awe thanks for listening or reading rather

Momiji: I’m glad we became friends even though you broke my pencil in half and set my desk on fire 

Machi: same even though you told me to light the paper on fire and irritated me for a whole class period 

Momiji: <3 tru friendship 


Chapter Text

Machi-> to -> arsonists 


Machi: /image/ 

Momiji: omg you bought me new mechanical pencils they're so cute!

Hatsuharu: how come you didnt get me any 

Machi: dont be greedy I didnt break your pencil 

Momiji: LOLL hahahha 

Hatsuharu: :(

machi: they were from daiso ill get you some later you big baby

Momiji: ahhahahhah 

Hatsuharu: thanks :) 

Momiji: yall are coming tonight right?? 

Machi: yea i have an art piece there 

Momiji: exciting!!!

Hatsuharu: ill be there to eat all your cookies 

Momiji: plz do not 

Hanajima -> to -> grl Pwr 


Hana: hey I got a coupon for the ramen place near me would you two be interested in going? 

Uo: fuck yeah I am 

Tohru: I would also love to go! 

Hana: girls night 

Tohru: YES!! I will get sum face masks 

Uo: Im ready to watch terrible movies and cry into my chocolate peanut butter ice cream let’s go girlssssss

Hana: is that not what you do daily? 

Uo: bitch don’t expose me like that! 

Tohru: omg Uo 


Uo: you would know if you took a day for yourself crying and eating ice cream  and shit that it’s very relaxing 

Hana: I think I’m going to add that to my schedule thank you 


Tohru: me too! I’ll spend a afternoon eating ice cream and crying in solidarity with u 

Uo: you don’t have to do that lol I’m mostly joking 


Hana: same

Uo: you both have zero chill lollll

Tohru: But u do? 

Uo: damn. Tohru you’ve been hanging out with Kyo way too much wtf 

Hana: I for one am proud. 

hatsuharu->to -> whats your sign 


Hatsuharu: the art show is over for all of you who didnt show up. RIN.

Momiji: /image/ ya girl machi got second place 

Machi: yea 

Rin: woah thats sick 

Momiji: abstract expressionism bitch! 

Machi: ^ thanks 

Yuki: It shoulda gotten first in my opinion 

Hiro: really? I am not a fan of modern art too much abstract expressionism holds no substance to me. 

Rin: block him machi 

Machi: bold of you to assume I even have his number saved 

Machi: I didn’t know (813) 800 3344 was an art critic 

Rin: and i oop… 

Yuki: machi i love you so much omg 

Machi: none of you introduced yourselves so i have no idea whos who 


Tohru: also hiro! Rude! 

Kagura: lets all start signing off our texts then -kagura 

Tohru: cute idea! -tohru 

Kisa: hiro !!! rude! I liked your piece machi -kisa 

Rin: this is dumb -rin 

Kagura: whyd you do it then? -kagura 

Rin: idk -rin 

Hatsuharu: how long do we have to do this -haru 

Machi: i have your number already haru 

Rin: chem chat? -Rin 

Machi: yeah he got mad cuz i got momiji a pencil and not him 

Rin: lol -rin 

Kisa: ahahhaha -kisa 

Hiro: you guys are idiots. -hiro 

Machi: hold on youre the one whos 12 


Machi: makes sense 

Rin: dang roasted -Rin 

Yuki: I- -Yuki 

Machi: Yuki really 

Yuki: YES. -yuki 

Momiji: the other number should be kyo then! 

Machi: oh I realized that when he got excited about making fun of yuki 

Machi: plus you guys roast him a lot 

Tohru: YEah i know this kyo slander is terrible! -tohru 

Machi: i got everyone now you dont have to do it anymore thanks 

Tohru: oh okay !!! 

Tohru-> to -> yuki 


Tohru: omg she hates me 

Yuki: what who 

Tohru: MACHI 

Yuki: WHat?? Why do you think that? 

Tohru: Idk her tone in the texts 

Yuki: omg tohru no! Thats just how she always texts ! Even me. 

Tohru: really? 

Yuki: yes! 

Tohru: okay i just- I thought she was annoyed :-( 

Yuki: no!! Definitely not. Don’t worry ! 

Tohru: kk thank u for telling me that 

Yuki: of course :-) 

Tohru: :-)

Chapter Text

Tohru -> to -> kyo 


Tohru: hey, Did u put that picture frame up?

Kyo: yeah do you like it 

Tohru: I LOVE IT 

Kyo: awe i thought so 

Tohru: we should print more pictures 

Kyo: i can hang some of us 

Tohru: YEA

Kyo: youre so easily impressed hahhaha 

Tohru: no, im just always impressed by u :) 


Kyo: dont do that I am not strong enoughhhhh

Tohru: bby 

Kyo: did you just call me a baby 

Tohru: maybe so, 

Kyo: whatever youre the baby 

Tohru: no u

Kyo: YOU

Tohru: U 

Kyo: YOU 

Tohru: U 

Kyo: HAHAHHA okay maybe we are both babies 

Tohru: Youre def my baby 

Kyo: STOP 

Tohru: sweetheart 

Kyo: do not…

Tohru: sugarplum 

Kyo: that ones not real come on 

Tohru: pumpkin 

Tohru: sweet cheeks 

Kyo: these are all terrible oh my god 

Tohru: my little gumdrop 

Kyo: thats the worst one 

Tohru: Really? 

Kyo: Definitely. 

Kyo -> to -> what’s ur sign? 


Kyo: /image/ 

Kyo: it’s a group fam pic on our wall 

Kagura: omg this is so sweet 

Rin: lowkey Thats tight as fuck 

Momiji: finally a photo where Haru’s eyes aren’t closed 

Hatsuharu: I have sleepy eyes bitch leave me alone 

Rin: literally every photo I have with haru his eyes are closed 


Kyo: hahaha I remember that 

Yuki: can you send me the photo Kyo? 

Kyo: yeah sure 

Hiro: I love that photo! I’m honored I’m on your wall. Also that’s the most civil convo I’ve seen between them part 2. 

Rin: big facts Hiro 

Yuki: should I make fun of him to even it out 

Rin: yes 

Hatsuharu: rin your such an enabler 

Hatsuharu: But yeah do it 

Kyo: I hate all of you so muchhhhhhh 

Kagura: clearly you don’t because of the pic you sent 

Kisa: omg I love that!! Thanks for sharing Kyo! 

Kyo: yep! 

Tohru: we r almost done with the house! 

Kyo: Hell Yeah 

Kyo: I mean heck yeah sorry 

Tohru: Kyo ur being so pure 

Kyo: there’s twelve year olds on this chat 

Yuki: haha Hiro he called you 12 what you gonna do about it 


Kisa: I sweAR tO ThE LOrD 

Hatsuharu: LOL kisa get his ass 

Rin: i feel like kisa has been spending way too much time with tohru and Kyo because her roasts are so good it’s definitely kyos fault 

Kyo: that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me 

Rin: that your roasts are good 

Kyo: yeah 

Tohru: Kyo omg 

Yuki: are they though……….. 

kisa: I think yuki is better at it sorry Kyo 


yuki: omg o think he rage quit 



Hatsuharu: Wait that’s literally hilarious oh my god 


Kisa: where’s momiji 

Rin: true him and i always answer texts 

Hatsuharu: um…. 

Rin: haru. What. Did. You. Do. 

Hiro: holy cow (lol haru) rin used periods! 

Hatsuharu: first, why do you assume I did something 

Hatsuharu: second, I didn’t do anything don’t worry momiji is in witness protection program 

Tohru: omg what 

Momiji: haru stop 

Momiji: I mean he’s right skksjsksk 

Momiji: Im hiding and shhhh i wasn’t here 


Kisa: Im kinda scared 

Hiro: Same kisa. 

Hatsuharu: don’t worry guys 

Kisa: oof Okay haru 

Chapter Text


Machi -> to -> what’s ur sign


Machi: momiji I cant find you but when I do, I’m gonna rip the ears off your bunny backpack for your crimes

Machi: sorry wrong chat pls ignore that 

Rin: wait no what did he do 

Hatsuharu: LMAO MACHI NO 


Kisa: WHat did you do??? Is this why he was hiding??? 

Hiro: witness protection program makes sense now. Someone protect his mechanical pencils! 

Kagura: HAHAHAHHA omg Hiro 

Machi: My bad I didn’t mean to bring this into the chat 

Hatsuharu: don’t worry about it momiji does this kind of thing all the time 

Rin: please tell me what happened 

Hatsuharu: momiji saw her across campus screeched machi and fuckin tackled her to the ground 

Machi: everyone was staring 

Momiji: also we slipped in the mud too 

Hatsuharu: oh yeah they were muddy all of class 

Machi: that part rocked 

Momiji: yeahhhhhhh 

Yuki: momiji why’d you tackle my girlfriend 

Kagura: oooooOOhhhh 

Rin: lmao get em 

Momiji: i- 

Hatsuharu: lol yuki want me to fight him for your honor 

Machi: bitch I’m gonna fight him myself 

Machi: meet me behind the bike racks after school 

Machi: bring the backpack 

Momiji: NO NOT EURGAN !!! 

Yuki: again, why the fuck momiji 

Hatsuharu: oh lol I forgot you named it that 

Kisa: guys omg dont fight 

Rin: yeah i feel like machi would destroy you 

Momiji: SHE WILL 

Machi: i will i got brass knuckles 

Momiji: really?

Machi: no

Yuki: Can i get an answer or what 

Momiji: i got excited that is all 

Momiji: i don’t want anything to do with that strumpet 

Machi: momiji i will end you. 

Yuki: oh shit she used a period

Yuki: also what the hell don’t call her a strumpet I just googled that 

Hatsuharu: it’s a inside joke because of the Shakespeare unit he’s not actually calling her that 

Yuki: goOD. 

Kagura: I’ve never seen yuki this scary 

Rin: damn Im enjoying this lowkey 

Yuki: i am not. 

Kisa: i hope they are kidding 

Hiro: don’t worry they are. 

Rin: yeah they are kisa but machi might destroy his backpack 

Kisa: eurgan* 

Rin: lol sorry 

Tohru: omg sorry i was gone with Kyo at lunch what is going on??? 

Yuki: momiji tackled my girlfriend, insulted her honor and now she is going to murder eurgan 


tohru: noooo 

Tohru: but also momiji why?????? 

Yuki: cuz he’s a little shit that’s why 

Rin: damn yuki 

Kisa: omg yuki

Hatsuharu: hey uh I’m back want an update 

Yuki: yea 

Rin: yes please haru 

Hatsuharu: /image/ eurgan is deaf now rip 

Yuki: i- 

Kagura: no!!! 

Kisa: not eurgan!! 

Tohru: omg how did machi rip it with her bare hands 

Yuki: i- 

Hatsuharu: it was scary and cool at the same time

Rin: good for her 

Yuki: Thats my girlfriend :,) 

Hatsuharu: thank god she’s lit 

Hatsuharu: we got detention tho rip “I did what i set out to do” -machi 

Momiji: i hate you machi 

Machi: bitch me too  

Hiro: that you hate momiji or that you hate yourself? 

Machi: again Hiro, why only one? 

Kagura: snjdjkfkf 

Rin: finally someone to argue with hiro 

Hiro: i hate this family. 

Kisa -> to -> Hiro


Kisa: hey would you like to go watch the new dora movie with me for our tuesday movie? i heard its good 

Hiro: Are you serious? 

Hiro: DAMN. nevermind it got an 82 on rotten tomatoes. Yeah sure. 

Kisa: Omg really?? I didn’t know it scored that high

Hiro: I’m pretty surprised too. When I’m 17 we can finally go to rated R movies. 

Kisa: I dont know what kind of Rated R movies I would want to watch… 

Hiro: You love lady bird and its rated R. 

Kisa: thats an exception 

Hiro: what about Brooklyn? 

Kisa: I just like saoirse ronan a lot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hiro: Hahahha okay. But yeah I will see dora with you! 

Kisa: YAY 

Hiro: unrelated but do you want to come over today after school? 

Kisa: YEah omg can we play mario kart on your switch 

Hiro: DUH!

Hiro: im gonna beat you 

Kisa: you say that everytime and I ALWAYS win

Hiro: Ive been practicing with rin. 

Kisa: Rin isnt that good either tho noah fence to her 

Hiro: LOL 

Hiro: youre just the mario kart master, so we all look like mario kart plebeians...

Kisa: HAHHAHHA thats right 

Hiro: dont tell people I admitted Im worst at it 

Kisa: Its okay your dark, dark secret is safe with me :)