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"You should probably give it up."

... What?

Shocked by those words, my All Might figure fell unceremoniously onto the floor. I felt tears prickle at the corner of my eyes and turned to look at my mother, who was in turn looking in disbelief at the doctor.Time seemed to slow down and I vaguely even registered the continuing of the conversation.

"Oh dear, so you really think there's something wrong with him? Most of the kindergardeners have begun to show signs already." 

"Excuse me, but you're forth generation, right, ma'am? What quirk's do you and your husband have?"

My mother removed her hand from my back- when had she put it there- and let an object float in front of her. 

It only made me feel worse. I had one wish, only one wish, and that was to become a hero. Couldn't god have mercy? 

"Oh, nothing too special, I can float small objects towards me and my husband eats fire. They're useful enough I think."

The doctor sighed, casting a pitiful glance at Izuku before continuing.

"Izuku should have already manifested one of the quirks or a combination of the both, but after viewing his x-ray I don't think he's going to...You see, when superpowers first began appearing there were many research studies conducted and doctors discovered a link between the bones in a person's foot and their likelihood to develop a quirk. People with a quirk have only one joint in their pinkie toes, their bodies having evolved into a more streamlined version of the human form."

He pointed at the x-ray, which showed Izuku's foot. 

" You can see here that Izuku has two joints in his pinkie like roughly twenty percent of the population.Based on the research that's available it's safe to say that your son isn't going to develop a quirk." 

°-°

I was sitting in my room at the desk, watching the same video I watched every evening, but I couldn't focus on anything. I distantly heard the rain falling outside and the thunder rumbling. 

I don't have a quirk, I am the only one in my kindergarden who doesn't have a quirk. My eyes were glistening with unshed tears, but it was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my chest. I was suffocating in despair and the video was making everything even more realistic, which made me even sadder.

"Fear not, citizens, hope has arrived!"

I looked up, just in time to see All Might flash one of his fearless smiles.

"Because I am here!"

I stopped breathing for a moment, my eyes widening as a sudden thought crossed my mind. Maybe if I worked hard enough, I could still become a hero, no matter if I have a quirk or not! 

"See that, mom?" I started, turning to look at my mother, unsure of how to continue. "There's always a smile on his face, no matter how bad things get. Even when things seem impossible, he never gives up."

My eyes filled with tears again. Please... Say yes, tell me I can...

"Do you think... I can be a hero too?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, the tears on my mother's eyes started rolling down her face. That's when I knew... She had given up on me.

The hug she crushed me in felt like salt on a bleeding wound as I cried silently in her hold, my world crumbling before me. That's-That's not what I wanted to hear, couldn't you see... mom?

After what seemed like a little eternity, my mother let me go and ushered me to go get ready to bed.I felt nothing. Her words registered somewhere in the back of my mind and I went to the bathroom, hearing the front door open before I closed the door.

Ah... Dad is home...

I went to bed without any hugs or goodnight kisses. Shouts where echoing through the house, followed by even more shouting. I plopped down lifelessly onto my bed and closed my eyes, drifting off into an uneasy sleep. 

I was a happy child with a happy life... I didn't think it would all fall apart so fast...

°-°

Dad left us. Roughly two weeks after I was pronounced quirkless, Dad packed his things, saying he didn't want to be related to that disgrace of a son. It took a great toll on my mother.Father was always her strength pillar and with him gone, she wasn't the same.

For the most part, she ignored me and started taking more night shifts.

At the Kindergarden, Kacchan started bullying me. After I told him I was quirkless, at first nothing changed. I still followed and admired him. But after I tried to help Kacchan when he fell into the river, his demeanour completely changed. The smiles turned into glares and the protective hands turned into heated fists.

The one person I always felt safe with, became the source of danger.

After about two weeks, everyone started calling me Deku.

"You can read the characters for 'Izuku' as 'Deku', you know."

That's how it all started.

At first I thought Kacchan was just joking, but with time, I understood why he called me that. I really did.

My father left my mother because of the failure I am.

My mother was disappointed in me and hated me because of how useless I am.

Kacchan made fun of me because I am a quirkless weakling.

Those thoughts occured more and more and I started believing everything everyone said.I started talking less, because my voice was annoying.I stopped fanboying over All Might.

This might be a shocking statement, but I lost my excitement completely. Everyday I woke up, everything I did seemed like such a hard thing to do. Even waking up. 

The posters and figures are partially gone, only a few of those standing on my desk.I stopped watching that one video of All Might I always watched. It reminded me of how much of a failure I was.

Not to mention that I smiled and ate less. 

But despite everything, I still had my wish to go to U.A. and become the number one hero, even without a quirk.

°-°

I got into elementary school. I thought that the bullying would finally stop, but... 

Everyone made fun of me. It's because Kacchan head on told everyone I was quirkless. I knew my life was in ruins the moment he told everyone. The other kids faces practically gleamed with sadistic smiles. 

Eventough Kacchan made my life hell, I couldn't bring myself to hate him, he was my first friend and I'll never forget that. Not to mention that I had a crush on him. 

Disgusting, right? 

Not only am I quirk less, but also a gay faggot AND in love with my bully. That fact haunted me ever since I realized it, made me more depressed. But I couldn't help it. Kacchan was amazing, because he was everything I was not. Strong, courageous, confident, he had a cool quirk... 

A quirk... something I'll never have... 

Right to my prediction, everyone started making fun of me. At first , it were only mean names and a few shoves here and there.  I was nine years old when it got physical. My classmates started pushing me, pulling at my hair, or hitting me.

It hurt.

But what hurt more was the fact that my mother didn't care.I came home with bruises and cuts everyday, sometimes even broken bones, but nobody cared. 

She didn't even look me in the eyes...

Seven years passed and nothing changed.

It got even worse if possible. 

My mother's sadness turned into fury and she would lash out one me if I even as much as casted a glance in her direction. Sometimes she would also hit me. Reminding me of how much of a failure I am, is something my mother has also constantly been doing over the past few years. 

I wonder how much longer I could take...

Sitting in my room, tears rolling down my face, I thought about tomorrow.It was my birthday.Nothing too special. We didn't celebrate it anymore, after all.

With a sigh, I turned on my back and blankly looked up at the ceiling, drowning in my thoughts. I fell asleep, not knowing that tomorrow something big would happen.

°-°

Today was another day of school. 

Sure, it was my birthday, but for me it's not a day we celebrate anymore. Since my father left us, our home has been cold and empty. Just like my mother's eyes that weren't looking at me anymore. 

At school, nobody knew my birthday except for Kacchan. But being who he is, he would just beat me up even more on that day. 

Wandering through the school's hallway, deep in thoughts, I didn't realise a presence behind me, grinning sadistically. Until that person clamped a hand over my mouth and dragged me away, that is. The person led me outside into the alley beside the school's building and threw me against the wall. My head hit the pavement as I fell onto the floor, followed by searing pain. 'Oww...' 

I hesitantly looked up, instantly greeted by the smirking face of Kacchan, who held his arms crossed over his chest in a smug way. My eyes widened in terror and I shrunk in on myself, willing to dissappear. My eyes found their way to the floor, which suddenly became so much more interesting than anything else, and stayed like that. I decided to stay quiet, or instead of going home with a few broken bones and bruised I wouldn't come home at all. 

"Aw, is little worthless Deku afraid? Hahahaha! You haven't even gotten your birthday present from me yet!" 

With those words said, Bakugou took out and punched me square in the face. It didn't stop there, Kacchan didn't leave me alone until I lost  consciousness, bleeding heavily. 

°-°

When Midoryia woke up, school had already ended. Covered in blood and with silent tears streaming down his face, the poor boy tried to stand up. At first, he fell down again, due to the immense pain he felt everywhere. After a few more attempts, and with the help of the wall, Izuku managed to stand up. 

Talking slow steps, each step causing him agonizing pain, Deku walked into the school building. He passed many empty rooms, but stopped in front of one particular room. 

Inside this room, there was a mahogany piano in the middle and a chair in front of it. Nothing else. Contrary to the occupation of the room, the room itself was very big. 

Izuku made his way over to the piano and sat down, memories flooding his mind. How he fell in love with Kacchan and how he lost him, only because he was quirkless. He really did ruin everything.

A new wave of agony washed over him and Deku didn't stop the heart wrenching sobs he let out. Midoriya slowly let his fingers brush over the piano tiles, before beginning to play a sad melody. Soon after that, he started singing. 

How can I say this

Without breaking

How can I say this

Without taking over

How can I put it down

Into words

When it's almost too much 

For my soul alone

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

And it hurts like hell

Yeah, it hurts like hell

As he was singing, Deku didn't notice the way his eyes started glowing light purple or the way he got surrounded by purple light. 

I don't want them to know 

the secrets

I don't want them to know 

The way I loved you

I don't think

They'd understand it, no

I don't think 

They would accept me, no

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

And it hurts like hell

Yeah, it hurts like hell

Dreams fight with machines

Inside my head like adversaries

Come wrestle me free

Clean from the war

Your heart fits like a key

Into the lock on the wall

By now, small, glowing notes began appearing out of nowhere. The notes were floating softly in the air in what seemed like a bubble, moving to the rythm of the song. The whole room was being illuminated by warm purple light, but Deku was oblivious to it all, his eyes closed and leaking tears. 

Midoriya opened his eyes slightly when he felt a strange, warm feeling in his chest. Seeing the purple light and the notes, he gasped, eyes wide and disbelieving. 

I turn it over

I turn it over

But I can't escape

I turn it over

I turn it over

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

I loved, and I loved 

And I lost you

And it hurts like hell.

After he ended singing, Izuku took a look at the scenario around him. The bubbles stopped moving and were just floating in the air. 

He stood up as fast as he could, just in time for a note to float up in front of him. Fascinated, Izuku moved his hand in a circle like motion, his disbelief growing by the second when he saw the bubble circling around his hand. Could it be... 

Concentrating on the warm feeling in his chest, Deku stretched his hand out and moved his hand to the left. His thoughts were confirmed when the notes also moved to the left. I have a quirk! 

Not being able to contain his happiness, Deku smiled brightly for the first time in six years. He quickly took his bag and ran out of the room, ignoring his muscles screaming in protest at the sudden movements. All the boy could think about was that he finally had a quirk. 

Now I can make mom proud, and dad will come back too... 

Upon arriving at the house, he threw open the door and called out for his mother, eyes sparkling with life. However, his moment of euphoria quickly ended when he saw how empty and dull everything looked. The curtains were gone, the kitchen was empty and the table with the chairs were also gone. What happened... 

Izuku moved to look at the living room, his heart sinking further when he saw that all the photographs were gone, the curtains were gone in the living room as well, the couch lacked pillows and blankets and the tv was also gone. No..., the boy thought. She wouldn't... 

Dread settled in the pit of his stomach, his vision became blurry from the tears that prickled in the corner of his eyes as he ran as fast as he could towards his mother's room.Throwing open the door, Izuku looked around and screamed. "NO, NO YOU CAN'T!" 

The room was completely empty, nothing was there. No table, no bed, no closet. The only thing there was a note lying on the ground. 

Midoryia took the note in his shaking hands and looked over it. 

Dear Izuku, 

I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore. I'm tired of everything, that's why I'm moving back in with your father in America. 

Sorry

That day, his world completely fell apart. 

Instead of crying or shouting, maybe even screaming in anger, the boy felt nothing. 

Oh... right. Nobody cares.... 

His joy over having a quirk was replaced with heartbreaking acceptance as Deku dried his tears, his mind falling into a dark abyss of depression. His eyes grew could and lifeless and his body became numb. 

That's right, nobody would care... Even if I got a quirk now, it wouldn't change anything...  Better pretend I didn't get one. After all, this will only get me in trouble... 

That was the day he started building barriers in his mind to seclude his emotional mask from the pieces, broken and shattered all over again, he really consisted of. 

Izuku fell into the dark abyss of depression and it would be impossible for anyone to pull him out of it. 

After all, 

You can't save what's already dead.

 

Chapter Text

Katsuki grew up surrounded by people who were always following him out of amazement. At first it was Izuku. The small, green haired boy was afraid of everything, no matter how harmless it was. That's why he followed Katsuki wherever he went whilst wearing that expression of complete awe as if Katsuki was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. And for him, that was right. For Izuku, Katsuki was like a role model, because Katsuki was everything Izuku wasn't. Strong, courageous, confident. Wherever Katsuki went, he didn't have to turn around to know that his friend was following him.

When they where children, Katsuki still considered Izuku his best friend. They did everything together, just like their parents, who were best friends. Katsuki himself found comfort in the smaller boy. His hair reminded him of the forest they always played in. So did the green eyes. Katsuki loved the forest, therefore Izuku was one of the few people that Katsuki liked. The other ones being Inko and his own parents. All of those other children that started following him later on were just insignificant existences that stuck to him. The nickname 'Kacchan' was also something Katsuki only tolerated because it was Izuku calling him that. And after all, he did get to call Izuku 'Zu-chan' in return. Then there were also the many childish promises they told each other with an honest expression on their face.

"When we grow up, we're going to be the coolest hero team! Right, Kacchan?"

"Hey Zu-chan, when we're old enough, we're going to get married and live in a big house, 'kay?"

Their parents thought that the two were perfect for each other. With Katsuki allowing Izuku to befriend him in the first place, it almost seemed as if fate itself brought them together and Inko and Mitsuki were so happy watching them play together. 

Their relationship proved to be something special indeed, when Mitsuki, Masaru and Inko noticed that those two had some sort of connection with each other. 

"Mum, Mum!" Katsuki came running towards his mother on his small feet. Mitsuki turned around in surprise, Katsuki had been sleeping only moments ago, hasn't he? 

The blonde haired woman smiled and crouched down, taking her son in her arms. Masaru was sitting at the kitchen tabke eyes as wide in surprise as his wife's, but with a glint of amusement in them. "What is it, little one?" 

Katsuki seemed to be worrying over something, his brows furrowed and fists gripping the hem of his small, red t-shirt. "Is Zu-chan ok? Mum, did Zu-can get hurt?" 

Now it was Mitsuki's turn to worry, glancing over to her husband to see him looking at his son with confusion written all over his face, the mug of coffee having been put down. Mitsuki looked back at the boy in her arms and finally asked." Why would you think that?" Inko and him were on vacation right now, because Hisashi was home from work and they wanted to take a week off. Of course Katsuki was lonely, without the freckle faced boy he had nobody he wanted to play with, but to think that he was hurt? Maybe it was a nightmare? 

"Katsuki, did you have a nightmare?" The married couple grew even more worried when Katsuki shook his head vigorously. "Mommy, can you ask Auntie Inko if Zu-chan is okay?" 

Mitsuki nodded mutely and turned around in search for her phone, sending a grateful look Masaru's way when he handed it to her with a loving smile. Searching through her contacts, she pressed call when she found Inko's number. After a few rings, her best friend picked up. "Hey, Mitsuki-chan, is everything okay?" Her voice sounded strained and worried, which confused the blonde haired woman. "Actually- no. Katsuki is asking if Izuku-kun is okay." Looking at her son, who was leaning closer to the phone, she waited for Inko to answer. 

"Well- He fell off the bed and hurt his foot. We were at the doctor just now. He said it's nothing too serious, but he'll have to avoid straining his leg for a week." 

At that statement, the blonde boy let go of his shirt and asked Inko if he could talk to Izuku. "Of course, wait a moment-Izuku, baby, Katsuki-kun wants to talk to you. " A happy squeal was heard on the other side of the phone as Mitsuki handed her son the phone, putting it on speaker. 

"Why are you so clumsy Zu-chan? You can't be hurt when I'm not there to protect you." Listening to the adorable little talk the two boys were having, Mitsuki giggled whilst Masaru was looking at him with clear amusement in his eyes. 

"When you come back, where gonna play heroes again, 'kay? Bye Zu-chan?" 

"Bye Kacchan, I love you! " Katsuki went completely still while his face went from a natural, slightly pale skincolor to a deep red blush. Mitsuki laughed quietly and looked at her husband, who smiled back. On the other line, they heard Inko snicker too. 

After Mitsuki and Masaru put Katsuki to bed again, they sat down on the couch in the living room. "What the fuck?" Was the first thing the blonde haired woman said. "I swear this is not an accident. How could our boy possibly have guessed that Izuku-kun is hurt?" Masaru seemed to think for a while before answering. "Well... I'm not sure, but maybe they have some sort of connection. I red about that not too long ago. I mean, I can't say for sure, maybe Katsuki just thought he was hurt and he had thought right, but I think it's not that." 

Mitsuki stared at her husband, before she smiled widely. "I think that it's fate that brought them together and I think this connection could be true. I just put Katsuki to bed and asked if he just thought that Izuku was hurt. But you know what he said. 'No mommy I felt a bad feeling in here.' And he pointed at his chest. This is most certainly not just a guess. Oh my god! I have to tell Inko about it! " She shot up from her seat and went to the kitchen to retrieve her phone. Masaru shook his head and smiled fondly at the thought of Izuku and Katsuki. 'Maybe it really is fate.' 

It wasn't the last time that happened. There were a other similar incidents that proved that whatever Masaru said was right. Katsuki and Izuku did have a much deeper relationship than other friends. They hoped it stayed that way. Knowing Katsuki and his arrogant behaviour, Mitsuki and Masaru hoped he wouldn't become someone to hurt his best friend. 

Time flew by and nothing changed. 

But then Katsuki got his quirk. His confidence and self worth skyrocketed and seeing as he was always praised by everyone, told how strong he was and that he'll be a wonderful hero one day, he started believing that he was above everyone. Wherever he went, other kids always followed him as if it was a natural thing to do. Katsuki and Izuku still played with each other, but Izuku did see how all the attention was affecting his childhood friend. And not in a good way. 

When mostly everyone of the kids had gotten a quirk except Izuku, Katsuki became mostly confused and disappointed. Izuku might just be a late bloomer he kept thinking, but after Izuku came to him the day after they had an appointment with a quirk specialist, looking heartbroken -was that fear too? - he knew something wasn't right. 

"Kacchan", the boy started, looking anywhere but him. "I-I.... I was at the do-doctor yesterday, and h-he told me I'll..." 

"Told you what?" Katsuki asked impatiently. 

"I-I'm sorry, Kacchan... T-The doctor said I w-won't ever have a q-quirk..." The boy flinched at the words himself, the reality of everything crashing down on him. 

But Katsuki was silent, his eyes were wide and he didn't move at all.  ... quirkless? 

"... so you really are useless, eh Izuku?" 

Those were the words that left the ash blonde boy's mouth first after he recollected himself from the shock of those words.

For Bakugou, Izuku being quirkless felt like the ultimate betrayal. All the promises they made shattered the moment those words came out. He was so angry... Angry at the green haired boy in front of him. He was the one who broke their promise, because he was QUIRKLESS. He was already pretty much useless when nobody had a quirk so he had to protect the smaller boy, but being useless when even all the other extras got a shitty quirk? 

"W-What are you saying, K-Kacchan? We can s-still be friends, r-right?" The boy's voice pulled Katsuki out of his thoughts, but the anger remained. Still, he tried to calm himself because after all, he hated seeing Izuku cry and the boy looked like he would start crying any second. " Y-Yeah... " The ash blonde replied, not looking at the child in front of him. It's not like they were enemies now, but.... friends? With a quirkless kid? When Katsuki was supposed to be surrounded by strong people with quirks, not some crybaby?

...We'll see..., was what he told himself and since that day, things started to change between them. 

°-°

"You can read the characters for 'Izuku' as 'Deku', you know."

They were playing at the playground, him, Izuku and a few other children that followed Katsuki. The boys had stars in their eyes, looking in awe at the ash blonde boy who was still holding the small bucket with Izuku's name on it. He was clearly enjoying the attention, proudly declaring the others that he can read.

"And Deku means someone who is useless!" At that, everyone laughed except for Katsuki and Izuku. Katsuki had a smug grin on his face, looking at his childhood friend who had tears in his eyes. He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach he got when looking at the freckled faced boy. He is useless, Katsuki told himself. You don't care about weak people... 

Since then, it was a normal thing for Katsuki to call Izuku 'Deku'. The cute childhood name he made for the boy became only a bittersweet memory, as well as all the promises that were left broken and forgotten. 

Izuku still followed him and watched him from a distance, but since Katsuki started calling him Deku, the boy distanced himself from the ash blonde, seeing how he was changing for the worse. 

At the Kindergarten, Katsuki was showered with praise at his amazing quirk and looked upon in awe and with stars in everyone's eyes. If that wasn't a boost to an already inflated ego. 

Izuku however, was reprimanded for his lack thereof, making Katsuki think that his childhood friend should only follow him around like those other kids and not dare play with him. After all, Katsuki was strong and courageous, whereas Izuku, no, Deku was a useless crybaby. 

Everything escalated on that one day. 

Katsuki fell from the tree trunk he was walking on just seconds ago. Landing in the water, the ash blonde boy quickly recollected himself and was just about to come out of the river when he saw a hand being stretched out towards him. "Are you okay, Kacchan?" Nobody of the boys who had followed him had dared to move and ask if he was okay. Nobody but Deku. Kacchan's expression darkened and he slapped the other boy's hand away. Who does he think he is?! 

He was okay, Katsuki didn't need anyone's help, especially from a quirkless loser like Deku! He was stronger than any of them, but apparently that damn green haired boy thought of himself so highly that he dared to look down on him. Someone who had a strong quirk and wasn't pathetic and afraid of everything. 

After that day, the feeling of Deku looking down on him only increased. Everything the boy did, no matter if it got something to do with katsuki or not, pissed the boy off. Especially his hair and eyes. That shitty green color reminded him of the forest, at the place where Katsuki's hate for Deku started. Katsuki started doing everything so Deku remembered his place.

Below everyone.

But when Deku still wanted to be a hero and kept on dreaming, Katsuki exploded. He wanted to do anything so that smaller boy would give up. He was too weak and useless, not to mention the lack of his quirk, to be a hero. That coward would get himself killed on the entrance exam. 

When they got into elementary school, the first thing Katsuki did when he saw a few extras trying to make friends with Deku was telling everyone about that bastard's disease. 

"Hey, what's your name?" 

Katsuki had watched from a distance how two boys approached Deku and tried to start a conversation. It pissed him off to no end. Dekus don't have friends and he would make sure it stayed that way. Katsuki just had to wait for the right moment. 

" What's your quirk, Izuku?" Perfect. A devious smirk stretched across his face and he called out for the whole class to hear. "Don't even bother to ask, that loser is quirkless, you know!" 

The reactions were even better than the boy had hoped them to be. 

"Oh, umm, I-I should, umm, go..." 

"Y-Yeah, me t-too..." 

"A quirkless boy...?" 

"What if he is gonna infect us with his quirklessness?" 

"Isn't it some kind of disease?" 

"My mom told me to stay away from them..." 

Katsuki looked at his ex childhood friend in amusement. His face was a dark shade of red, a clear sign of humiliation and shame. Katsuki loughed at the boy, smirking brightly. "Now you understand, right? A quirkless nobody like could never have friends!" 

He knew that with those words he had yelled out, the green haired boy's life was in ruins. Deku clenched his fists tightly and refused to cry, blinking his eyes repeatedly. But it didn't help, because one by one, they started to slide down his face, leaving bitter tear tracks carved on his cheeks. 

It left a pang in Katsuki's chest, which he tried to ignore, because he was better than anyone else and shouldn't care about a failure like the freckled boy.

The feeling of guilt never really went away, seeing how everyone started making fun if him. Even the teachers. 

Would it have been another kid that would have been bullied, someone with a quirk, the teachers would have intervened immediately. But with Izuku, the teacher said that bullying was not tolerated in their school and that he had no proof he was being bullied. At first, Katsuki and the class only bullied him by calling him names and a few shoves here and there. And Katsuki was planning to keep it at that. He didn't plan on doing anything else. 

At home, Mitsuki started wondering why Izuku never visited them anymore. 

"We kinda grew apart and he has other friends now", was what Katsuki told his parents, not looking them in the eyes. After Izuku was pronounced quirkless, he remembered Mitsuki and Masaru telling him that he shouldn't make fun of Deku, because apparently, his father had left him and it was really hard for both the boy and his mother. They really liked Izuku and if someone found out what he did to him... Well, he would be in deep shit. 

Then things started getting physical. 

Katsuki was not a heartless bastard and knew that it was wrong. Not to mention that if someone found out about it, he would be rejected from UA Highschool because of their intolerance to bullies. But at the time, he was an agressive asshole, thought that he would still be accepted in that school and on top of that, the green haired boy really pissed him off. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Katsuki shouted annoyed when he saw a few extras beating Deku up, while the latter was curled up on himself, whimpering slightly. One of the extras, seemingly the leader whose name Katsuki didn't even bother to remember, scoffed and turned to look at the ash blonde. "Yo Bakugou, you defending that disgrace or what? Aren't you doing the same we do?"

Now it was Bakugou's turn to scoff. "Listen here you dipshit. If he tells the teachers we're dead!"  Katsuki was fuming with anger at seeing how beaten up that worthless Deku was. That bastard was so weak he couldn't even defend himself... And he still wants to be a hero?! 

The three boys that were towering over Izuku laughed. Katsuki only glared at them and tried to remember if they were in his class or not. Then the leader spoke up again. "You think that abomination will tell someone? He isn't fighting against us, so he clearly enjoys it, isn't that right?"

Kicking the boy as hard as he could in the manhood, the boy let out a small, suppressed scream of pain. Katsuki took the time to look at Deku.

His hair was bloody and dirty, the green color faded to a grayer shade of it's original color. His face was also covered in blood and he had a big bruise on his left eye. blood was still trickling down the side of his face down to his chin. The once white button up shirt was covered in big, red stains. Overall, the messy boy was shaking hard and would not look up from the floor. When he heard Katsuki's voice, he visibly flinched but did nothing to get away from the beating. His books were scattered across the floor with his yellow backbag, now dirty and battered, lying not so far away from them. "This reminds me.... Bakugou, you're one of his main bullies, aren't you? You always insult him, but.... Do you really hate him? You're standing here, alone, defending that trash..."

"What are you implying?" Katsuki scowled, not liking where this was going. The innocent smile on that extra's face turned into a devious smirk as he spoke uo again.

"If you hate him so much, why don't you beat him up too? Surely you have a lot of pent up anger inside of you, amd that thing here would gladly take it all! Am I right, Izuku~?" He asked in a sickeningly sweet voice. The boy, who had tensed visibly at the words, didn't answer to the question directed at him, making the boy towering over him scowl and kick him in the face." Am I right, Izuku~?? "

Flinching hard, Katsuki saw Izuku nod slightly. It was barely visible, but the amswer was still enough for the three bullies. The leader, Yuri Takahiro, Katsuki faintly remembered, had a sadistic gleam in his eyes as he looked wryly at the ash blonde boy, as if challenging him to do it.

"And what if I won't do it?" He asked through gritted teeth, wanting to wipe that disgusting smile off those extras faces and burn them from the inside out for challening someone as mighty as Katsuki Bakugou. "Well~" Yuri answered, the smirk never leaving his face. "Then I guess everyone will have to find out that you have a crush on the quirkless deformity!"

Katsuki's anger skyrocketed.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY, YOU SICK FUCK?! I'D NEVER EVER HAVE A CRUSH ON SUCH A WORTHLESS MISTAKE OF LIFE!!"

He really felt like punching something, rather someone, right now. The smirk on the leader's face still remained, not in the least intimidated at Katsuki's outburst. He had his arms crossed over his chest as if daring him to try and do it. Taking a deep breath, Ktasuki made his decision.

"Fine."

Izuku's eyes widened and he began trembling even more than before, curling in on himself. "That's right! I knew you were a real man!"

Walking up to the trio, Katsuki took out. For a fleeting moment, an expression somewhat resembling guilt crossed the blonde's face, dissappearing as quickly as it came. The fist made contact with Izuku's already bruised cheek, followed by many more.

When everyone left, Katsuki didn't even turn around to look at his unconscious ex childhood friend, blood pooling underneath him.

That was how the physical abuse started, Izuku becoming Katsuki's punching bag for every little occasion. 

°-°

It was Izuku's birthday.

The day a worthless abomination had been born into the world. And Katsuki planned to remind Izuku of where he exactly stood in society.

Seeing Izuku wander through the school's hallway, deep in thoughts, Katsuki hid behind a locker, waiting for the opportunity to drag Deku away. The boy was alone, which was no surprise, and there were no teachers and students in sight. Not that anyone would have cared. When he felt it was the right moment, the ash blonde clamped a hand over Izuku's mouth and made his way to the alleyway beside the school. Throwing him against the wall, Katsuki grinned sadisitcally as Izuku's head hit the pavement as he fell onto the floor. 

The green haired boy hesitantly looked up, instantly greeted by the smirking face of Kacchan, who held his arms crossed over his chest in a smug way. Katsuki saw Deku's eyes widen in terror as he shrunk in on himself, willing to dissappear. It made Bakugou even more thrilled. The freckle faced boy decided to stay quiet and continued looking at the floor, which aggravated Katsuki only more than he already was.

"Aw, is little worthless Deku afraid? Hahahaha! You haven't even gotten your birthday present from me yet!" 

With those words said, Bakugou took out and punched him square in the face. It didn't stop there, Katsuki didn't leave his ex childhood friend alone until he lost consciousness, bleeding heavily. 

" Tche, weakling. " 

Katsuki didn't even spare the boy a second glance, he simply took his own school bag and walked away to clean his hands from the blood. 

After he washed his hands in the bathroom, actually feeling calmer after taking all his anger out, Katsuki made his way home. 'Huh?' 

Passing by all the houses in his neighborhood, he saw a big car, clearly made to transport furniture, beside that Deku's house. His brows furrowed whhen he saw Inko's bed being loaded into the car. "Are they moving or what?" Was what Katsuki thought, but shook his head. If they would move, his mother would have known and that bastard Deku would also have said something. Scoffing, Katsuki resumed his way home. Why did he even care about that fucker? It wasn't his family, therefor it weren't his problems what happened in their household. 

°-°

"I saw Izuku-kun today." 

Katsuki stopped eating his ramen to look at his mother, who had a frown on her face. Masaru looked at her in surprise. "Yeah? Did you talk to him? How is he?" 

Katsuki continued eating and tried to look like he didn't care, but he was secretly listening to the conversation. After all, if his oarents found out what he did... They would put him up for adoption right away... 

His mother sighed and looked at Masaru. "He seemed really bad. We talked a little bit and he smiled and all, but... He seemed so off. Well, obviously something happened because he had a black eye and was covered in blood. Either he got into a fight or was being bullied. But... His eyes are what seem so off. They just seem so lifeless and dull. "

Masaru thought for a moment, looking at Katsuki, before he turned at Mitsuki again. "Come to think of it... We haven't seen Inko in quite a while, I'm sure it was hard for both of them since Hisashi just left. I just hope everything's going well with them. Inko is still like a sister to us and Izuku and Katsuki were always together when they were children. " Mitsuki nodded and stared at Katsuki. At first, he tried to ignore it, but the stares were annoying him to no end." What is it, old hag?" The woman gave her son a slap on his head before turning serious once more. 

" Oi brat, is Izuku being bullied at school?" Without thinking, Katsuki shook his head and denied it, the lie slipping easily from his tongue. The married couple exchanged looks before Masaru spoke up. "Son, there isn't anything happening between Izuku and you, right? You're still nice to him?" 

Shit. The one question he didn't want to be asked. "What the hell does that mean?! Are you doubting me?? I said there is nothing going on between us, we just don't talk anymore!!" 

Mitsuki, who wasn't fazed by Katsuki's outburst at all, smiled with a reliefed look on her face. "It's okay, brat. We believe you. You are a good kid, despite your personality. I just worry for Izuku-kun's wellbeing, that's all." 

Those words felt like a punch in the face. Despite his attitude, he still loved his parents and he wanted to be a hero to make them proud. But if they were to find out, they would never be proud of him... 

After they finished eating dinner, Katsuki went upstairs and threw himself on his bed. The feeling of guilt at having lied to his parents just wouldn't get away. "SHIT!!" In his state if anger, the boy threw a pillow against the wall and screamed into his blanket. 

After a while, the ash blonde had calmed down and was staring at the ceiling. 

Suddenly, he felt a pang in his chest and tears slid down his cheeks. He wiped confused at them, only for new ones to roll down. 'What the fuck?!' 

He trued to calm down and took out a bottle of water to drink a bit. Then the pain abrubtly disappeared. Confused, Katsuki stared out of the window, a sudden person coming into his mind. 'Deku...?' 

 

What the hell happened... 

 

 

Chapter Text

"You can't become a hero."

I was looking in shock at my mother, her sadistic smile and flaring eyes piercing my soul.  Standing in my room that was filled with All Might figures and posters, tears were falling down my eyes as I watched my mother laugh cruelly at me. Then she turned her back at me and walked towards a white blinding light, dissappearing and leaving me in the darkness. "No... mom, mom! MOM!"

The scene changed to my father. I couldn't see him clearly, but the scoff and disgust written across his face was unmistakable. "You are a disgrace to this family, you'd be better off dead."  Father turned his back on me too, leaving me behind. Just like my mother.  "NO, WAIT FATHER!"

But nobody listened.

I was left behind again and again. 

The room turned pitch black, I only saw red, glowing eyes and deviously smirking mouths laughing at me.

"Stop... Stop..."  I tried to hide from those stares, but they were everywhere.  On the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. I couldn't escape. I was suffocating. "Help, someone please stop this!"

Then suddenly, everything stopped.  The laughter stopped, the faces dissappeared and I was left alone in a completely white room. I  heard a little child laugh.

"Kacchan, you're so cool!"

I stiffened at those words and slowly turned around. The white room turned into the forest me and Kacchan were always playing in when we were children.  I was greeted by the sight of Kacchan and my smaller self playing hide and seek.  "When we grow up, we're going to be the coolest heroes! Right, Kacchan?"

The ash blonde bobbed his head in agreement, eyes sparkling with excitement. "We're gonna be better than All Might, we're gonna be the Number One team and kill all of those villains!" 

"But Kacchan", I heard myself say.  "I'm not strong enough and I don't want to kill anyone." Ka cchan flashed one of his beautiful smiles at me. The smiles I fell in love with.My eyes were tearing up again, knowing what I was going to say. I wished this moment would never end. I wished that at this moment, time would stop forever.

"Don't worry, Izuku! I'm gonna protect you from everyone until you're strong enough to kick asses yourself!"  An involuntary sob escaped my throat.  I remember those times well enough.  Kacchan telling me he would protect me until I got stronger.

I remember we even promised each other to get married once we're older.

All of a sudden, I was thrown to the ground, my eyes closing shut.  When I slowly opened them again, Kacchan was standing in front of me, small explosions coming from his hands. "You really are a crybaby you worthless Deku!"

I was in my elementary school with  everyone laughing at me. Of course I was crying again,my cheeks burning red from shame.  Oh god, please let me dissappear from here.

But the voices didn't stop. They only got louder. And all at once, I saw my father again, leaving me behind. Then my mother. And then Kacchan. The only difference was that Kacchan held his fist out and hit me square in the face. "Please, stop... Kacchan, stop..."

"What was that, you worthless piece of shit?" 

Black hands were grabbing me and squeezing my throat and pulling me into a dark abyss, simultaneously suffocating me.  "NO! STOP, HELP ME, PLEASE SOMEOME HELP!"

"HELP!"

I shot up from my bed, chest heaving irraticaly. I repeatedly blinked my eyelids, trying to adapt to the dark room I was in. It was still dark outside. I heard the rain hitting my window, the room got illuminated every now and then by lightning, flollowed by the occasional rumbles of thunder.  looked at my clock. 

3:40 am.

With a sigh, I let myself fall back on the bed and breathed in deeply. It was only a nightmare...

A shiver ran up my spine as I thought back to the dream and my mother.

What had happened, was three years ago. I'm 14 now and next year I'll be going to highschool. I don't really care in which Highschool I'll be going, either way, I don't plan on becoming a hero. After all, everyone made crystal clear that I can't become one. Especially Kacchan. I don't even know if I want to live that long. Maybe I'll die before I do. Doesn't sound too bad. 

The only problem was that my teachers still thought I wanted to apply to U.A. They thought I was so naive to become a hero, even without a quirk. Well, at least everyone thought I'm still quirkless. And even if I told someone, who would believe that a boy got his quirk at the age of eleven? 

They'd think I'm delusional or some weird freak. 

But you are a freak, aren't you?

My whole body stiffened at the words.

Admit it, after all you're a psycho! Always mumbling to yourself and speaking with a nonexistent voice is something only freaks do!

Stop this, not today...

I see. You really think You can get rid of me? I'm a part of you, only without those shitty emotional masks. Seriously, do you think someone would actually care how you're doing?

No... 

Killing yourself doesn't sound too bad, does it? How about hanging yourself, or drowning or-

Shut up... 

-Slicing your throat, or maybe poisoning, or how about-

Shut Up! 

-maybe dehydration would be a good way, or also drug overdose, or-

SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE! 

How about jumping off a building? 

The voice didn't stop, so I ran into the bathroom, pulling out my pocket knife. The sharp edges were tempting, telling me to do it. Only a few cuts and the voice would stop. Temporary. 

I put the knife on my wrist and made the first cut.

°-°

It was 6 am now.

I was laying in my bed, bandages wrapped around my wrists, a few patches tainted a deep red. I liked the color. It reminded me that I was still alive and not six feet under. The voice also stopped. I could lay in silence, if only for a little moment. 

I knew I needed to see a doctor and get medication. I knew I had schizophrenia. If I hadn't put on a mask, the changes would be clear. I had become like a doll. Lifeless and fake. But I didn't really care, after all, nobody else did. Ever since my mother left, she would send me barely enough money to hang on for a month. I only got enough of it to pay for food and for the house. Due to the house being so old, it's not like it was overly expensive or something.

And I didn't really eat anything, four or five times a week, I lost my appetite after everything that happened. Sometimes I could afford a few pieces of clothes. All of that All Might merchandise certainly helped get me a bit more money. I got rid of every single piece of the merchandise. It certainly left a hole in my heart, I still admired him, but somehow I also had to live.

But that's already it. I couldn't pay for the electricity costs, for the heating costs or even warm water. Everything was cold and dull. How ironic. Cold and dull, just like my life.

*beep beep beep*

The sound of my alarm clock pulled me out of my thoughts. With a sigh, I dragged my body down to the bathroom. I closed the door and turned to look at my reflection in the mirror. Well, good to know that I looked as ugly as ever.

My unbrushed hair stood in all directions, and the color was just a faded tone of the once healthy forest green hair color. My eyes were almost grey, I wondered how nobody noticed the dead look in them. Guess I was that good of an actor. Dark, purple eyebags decorated my skin and even my skin was as pale as snow white sheet.

I took out my concealer and applied it to my eyebags with skill, which pointed out that it was not my first time doing this.

After I was finished, I put on my school uniform, which was crumpled. Taking my house keys, I closed the door and made my way to hell.

°-°

"If you want a quirk that badly, pray you'll get one in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof!"

Izuku froze at the words, his mind blank. He knew Kacchan could be cruel, but he never thought his childhood friend hated him THAT much. Guess he was wrong. 

Izuku felt tears well up in his eyes again, afraid to turn around and say something. He refused to cry either, or else his consealer would wash off. However, he managed to turn to look at his ex-childhood friend with a hateful glare, to which the blonde contered by making small explosions in his hand, a silent threat to close his mouth shut, or else. "Something wrong?" 

The demonstration played its role, seeing as all the anger and hate quickly left the green haired boy, replaced by fear and sadness. With a laugh, Kacchan and his two extras left the room, leaving Izuku alone. With all the noise gone, his mind was completely at the voices mercy which returned not too long ago. 

Didn't I tell you? Killing yourself is such a good idea, isn't it? 

Stop it. 

Oh but where would be the fun in stopping? Just imagine the happy look in dearest Kacchan's face! 

Shut up! 

Like always, the voice didn't stop, but he wasn't really listening. Kacchan's words were ringing in his ears, feeling like a stab in the heart. 

If you want a quirk that badly, pray you'll get one in your next life...

Pray you'll get one in your next life... 

Take a swan dive off the roof... 

Like on autopilot, Izuku took his old, yellow bagpack and throwed it over his shoulder. The impact hurt his right shoulder, Kacchan having burned that place with his explosion. Still, Midoriya didn't even wince, the nagging pain effectively distracting him from his negative thoughts. 

He didn't cast the room a second glance, exiting it and closing the door in one swift motion. 

°-°

Izuku was walking towards the place where Katsuki threw his burnt notebook at. "Idiot, you can't go around telling people to kill themselves. If I would really jump, what would he do then?" 

Well, it certainly wouldn't be giving two shits about you and asking for forgiveness. After all, your definitely not worth it, HahahAhaHAha! 

Shut Up! 

I passed by the small, old pond near our school and saw my book being nibbled at by three red and white colored koi fishes. "My dreams turned into fishfood..." Quite literally... 

Haven't they always been fishfood? 

Izuku clenched his fists as a new wave of anger overcame him. Actually, the idea of suicide didn't seem that bad to him. Reflecting on his life, he figured that he had nothing to loose. With his mother and father having abandoned him and him being bullied by literally everyone, suicide was a really good way to end everything. And most importantly, Kacchan would be happy, after all he suggested that idea himself, didn't he? 

Izuku shook his head quickly and tried to get his notebook back before people would deem him weird for standing in front of a pond without any reason whatsoever. Society was a cruel place, full of prejudices. Do something that seems weird in public, people would judge them, instead of trying to find out why they're doing it. 

"That's enough, give it back." Midoriya yanked his burnt book out of the fishes mouths and looked carefully at it. Sadness and depression consumed him as a whole, his eyebrows furrowed together and lips trembling. "Stupid J-Jerk..."

Wow, look at this, I'm crying again...

Oh you're such a crybaby! Kacchan is right, isn't he? Go take a swan dive off the roof and it would all end! You would get rid of me too! 

Shut up... 

Izuku carefully packed away his hero analysis book and slowly made his way home. At the underpass, where the words 'Watch your head' were written in bold letters, Deku stopped for a moment, looking at the ground.

For what seemed like the 100th time that day, Deku sighed wistfully and resumed to trudging home. Halfway through the underpass, Midoriya heard a strange noise behind him. Shifting to get a better look at what's behind him, the boy shrieked in fright at what he saw.

A monstrous sized green sludge villain was towering over him for just a moment, before attacking him. The slime around his body felt disgusting, but Izuku didn't struggle as the villain spoke up. 

"Dont worry, I'm just taking over your body, it'll be over soon!"

He most likely would die by suffocating due to the slime being stuffed in his mouth. It hurt, that was a fact, but to be honest, if he'd die from this then it was worth it.

You're finally getting what you wanted, isn't that right?

Izuku ignored the voice for now, too caught up in the moment to care. He was getting weaker by the second, his body struggling for air. Black dots appeared in his vision and the last thing he heard before going unconscious was the sound of the manhole cover being thrown open. Then everything went black.

This is the end... finally...

 

The disappointment was big when Izuku woke up to someone repeatedly slapping his left cheek. "Hey, wake up!Hey!" Is that...

Deku slowly opened his eyes and blinked several times before fully comprehending what was going on. The muscular man with blonde hair smiled at him. "Thought we lost you there!"

AHHHHH!

Izuku scrambled away, not believing his eyes. He wasn't that much of a fanboy anymore but still, it was his favourite hero of all times and still was. To see him right in front of his eyes was a big honour. Besides, Izuku had one question he wanted to ask the Number One Hero personally. Everyone may have given up on him, even he himself, but maybe All Might could give him hope again.

You really think that? wow, I knew you were dense but this is just too much! 

Leave me alone then if you think I'm dumb! 

Ahahhaah, you know I won't! 

And the voice disappeared. Izuku sighed in relief. He could get a few minutes without the voice reminding him of how much of a failure he was. He knew that well enough. 

"Well, looks like you're moving around all right. Sorry about that back there, I didn't mean to get you caught up in my work! Usually I pay more attention to keeping bystanders safe, but turns out this city's system is difficult to navigate!"

At the end of the speech, All Might flashed him his signature smile, bringing Deku out of his shock. Scrambling around, Izuku tried to find his notebook to get a signature of the man standing before him. If I already met him, an autograph would be nice. It would be the only evidence that I still admired him, crushed dreams or not.

When he found the notebook laying not to far away from him, Deku quickly opened a new page, only to find that All Might already signed it.

"Ahhhh, thank you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Izuku bowed his head, thanking his idol profusely. The other male laughed it off and prepared to leave, catching Izuku off guard. "You're already leaving?" The unspoken words of wait, I want to ask you something, hung in the air.

"Stand back, I'm taking off!" Izuku however didn't listen to the instruction, latching onto All Might's leg before he jumped off.

"Eh?" 

All might noticed a sudden weight on his leg and turned around, only to see Izuku holding tightly onto it. "Hey, hey, hey, what do you think you're doing? Let go, I love my fans but this is too much!" 

"If I let go now, I'll die!" 

With those words, All Might stoped struggling, as if he only now realised that they were flying in the air. "I still have something I wanted to ask you!" 

"Okay, I get it! Just keep your eyes and mouth closed!" Izuku pressed his face into All Mights leg to shield himself from the wind, allowing himself to relax just slightly. 

He had shown so much emotion in ten minutes than he had in ten years. And the one person that triggered this was his childhood hero. Well, I guess no matter how much I wanted to forget my obsession, it always finds a way back...

Meanwhile, All Might was holding the green haired boy's back to secure him so he wouldn't fall down. As they landed on the roof, Midoriya, shaking like a leaf, had to take a deep breath to steady his heartbeat after experiencing something like that. "M-My whole while life just flashed before my eyes..." 

While Izuku was trying to calm himself, the hero turned around and walked towards the edge of the building. "Not a very smart move. Bang on the door for a while, someone will let you in. Now, I have to go!"

Izuku quickly collected himself and turned to look at his idol. "Wait, not yet, one second!" But All Might wouldn't listen. He was ready to take off again, leaving the boy alone. Abandoned. It all felt like some sort of sick dejavu. His father left him like that. His mother left him like that. Kacchan left him like that. And now All Might. He couldn't let that happen. One Answer, one answer was all he wanted. One answer to know if he could...

"Sorry kid, it's not going to happen."

"I'm sorry Izuku, I'm sorry!"

"You are a disgrace to this family, you'd be better off dead."

"Take a swan dive off the roof!"

"You think you can become a hero, worthless Deku?"

 

"Is it possible to become a hero even if I don't have a quirk?"

°-°

Izuku was standing on the roof, completely alone.

"It's good to have a dream, but you have to consider what's realistic, young man."

His idol, the Number One hero in the world told him he couldn't become a hero. But what did he expect? For him to smile at him and tell me that yes, of course you can become a hero, just work hard and you'll be like me? Life hated me, why would it give me such a luxury?

In that split second, the edge of the roof seemed a lot more tempting.

Come on, do it! Everyone will feel a lot better without you there to ruin it! 

Izuku took a small step towards the edge, but flinched and stopped when he heard the sound of an explosion. Maybe that's a villains attack, I wonder what kind of... heroes there... would be.......oh...

He forgot.

After all, he didn't need to take notes if he wasn't going to become a hero. He didn't plan on doing that, but he suddenly got that pang of hope when he saw All Might. 

Well, now that this hope of yours is crushed, why don't we go home and find a way to kill ourselves? You wouldn't want to make a big commotion by jumping off that building, would you? 

You're right... let's go... 

That's how Izuku found himself going home, alone, with his dreams crushed and why? Because he was quirkless. 

And when he'll open his door and step into his house he'll be greeted by loneliness and coldness, because his parents left him. Why? Because. He. Was. Quirkless.

So you understand, right? NOBODY GIVES A DAMN ABOUT YOU OR YOUR FOOLISH CHILDHOOD DREAMS, HAHAHAHA!

SHUT UP! Shut up, I get it. I know I'm a weak coward who is depressed but too scared too die even if he knows that it would make everyone happy, I don't need you to remind me of it! 

Well, I'm gonna do it anyway, so have fun!

Well, I'm gonna ignore you then, so have fun! 

Izuku continued his walk home, ignoring the voice in his head completely. The boy only stopped when he saw the cause of the explosion in front of him....

Excellent, his feet still managed to bring him here. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had to be here, as if he had to do something, no matter how weird it sounded. He looked through the mass of people surrounding the explosion and made out a massive, green mass with eyes and a disgustingly big grin. Isn't that the one who attacked me? 

Izuku thought about how he talked to All Might on the roof and remembered that no, the bottles weren't there anymore! Connecting the dots, Deku's face fell as he realised that the hero lost them when he grabbed onto that leg. Guilt and self-hatred were eating him alive and he felt himself tear up at the revelation. Distantly, he overheard two young man talk about what happened, his nerve-wracking train of thoughts stopping as he heard the words hostage.

He tried to calm his nerves and look closely enough to see any indication that there could be a hostage that sludge villain wad holding. Then he saw it. Spiky blond hair struggling against the monster's fierce grip.It can't be...

The hostage opened his eyes and Izuku gasped quietly at the sight of ruby red eyes, shining like brilliants in defiance, refusing to give in to that villain.

And suddenly he was running. He was running, but not away from the scene, no, he was running towards the source of danger and fuck what am I doing, he should stay out of this and stop running and turn around but FUCK KACCHAN WAS IN DANGER AND HE COULDN'T DIE.

And he realised that this was the feeling he felt, some sort of weird connection to his childhood friend. They always had something like that, but nobody knew why. One time, Izuku got hurt during his vacation and suddenly his mother got a text from Mizuki, saying that Kacchan was asking if Izuku was alright. 

But that didn't matter right now. Right now, he was saving his childhood-friend-turned-into-a-bully. 

No matter how bad he was hurt by those same hands, he couldn't stop loving that young man, no matter how much he wanted to forget him.

When Katsuki heard the shouts of the pro heroes, he turned with much effort to look at what was causing those shouts. He froze when he saw a green mob of hair with freckles running towards him. Deku...?

Said green mob of hair flung his backbag with full force at the villain, effectively catching him off guard. Izuku started digging his hands into the green beast, desperately trying to save his ¿friend/bully?. "What the hell are you doing?"

Deku looked up at Kacchan with tear filled eyes and responded. "I don't know, you just looked like you needed help!"

This simple statement made Katsuki's anger skyrocket. He made even more explosions to try and free himself from that bastard. Why aren't the heroes doing anything?

Izuku was dumbfounded when he saw that five pro heroes were doing nothing to help them. What the hell were they waiting for?! Suddenly, the villain threw Izuku to the ground and took out. The green haired boy closed his eyes and waited for the impact that would, hopefully, end his life (again). Only that it never came.

"I am here!"

°-°

Like always, it was me who got scolded by the pro heroes. "How could you be so reckless! You could have died!"

I know I could have died, but Kacchan was my childhood friend and while the pro heroes, may I empathise, PRO HEROES, were doing absolutely NOTHING, which is ridiculous because there were FIVE of them, I tried to save Kacchan. And then they dare to scold ME about being reckless?! Someone should teach them about the values a great hero should have.

I casted a glance at Kacchan. Of course, the pro heroes were fawning over him with stars in their eyes, telling him how strong and amazing he was, how powerful his quirk was and how he was going to become a great hero. I knew that it was true, but it it still left a big hole in my heart. Why couldn't life be fair for once?

When everyone was done telling me how stupid I am, I silently packed my things and left, eyes casted downwards. In the end, it was All Might who saved us, which caused him more trouble because he reached his limit of how long he could be in that strong form. And if I hadn't been there, it would have been so much more easier for everyone.

How about we jump off that roof right now? There aren't many people around and it's still high enough to die on impact!

I ignored the voice and continued my way home, thinking how I could apologize to All Might. I wanted to do it right there, but he got surrounded by dozens of reporters. Well, I'll leave him a message on his website.

"Deku!"

I turned around in surprise to see Kacchan following me. I sighed inwardly, I could already tell that he was going to scream at me that I did nothing and I should have left him alone. 

"Listen, I would never ask for a weakling like you to help me! Don't think you can look down on me! You hear that? I was fine by myself! You're just a quirkless failure who...." 

Ah, I know.... I am a quirkless failure, worthless, a disgrace to my family, better off dead, weak, a coward... 

 I wasn't really listening anymore. He could have said kill yourself to me in the face instead of preparing that speech. I mean, he already told me that today, it wouldn't hurt to hear it a second time. 

I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw Kacchan stomp into the opposite direction. Oh well, let's go home and die. I resumed to walking home, but stopped when I heard footsteps running towards me.

"I am here!"

I frantically looked up to see All Might standing in front of me. What the hell? He was surrounded by a bunch of reporters like five minutes ago! "Ah, All Might, what are you doing here? How did you get rid of all the reporters?" All Might laughed again. How can he laugh so carefree....

He began praising himself about how strong and amazing he was, but stopped when he abrubtly transformed into his weak form, caughing up blood. When he stopped coughing, there was a serious tension in the air. "Young man, I cam here with thanks, a correction and a suggestion." What is he saying? I was useless, I did absolutely nothing! 

"If you hadn't been there... If you hadn't told me about your life... I would've turned into a guy with a bodysuit who was all talk. Thank you."

Why was he telling me that, I should be apologizing to him for causing him problems....

"That can't be... It was my fault in the first place...I got in your way, and I said all those impertinent things even though I'm quirkless..." Saying this out loud made me realise just how MUCH of a failure I really was...

"That's right."

... What?

"Because it was none other than the timid, quirkless You at the scene that I was able to act."

No, no, that's not right, I was a burden and I did nothing, I didn't help anyone...

"Top heroes have stories from their school days. Most of their stories have on thing in common: Their bodies moved before they had a chance to think."

What was he saying? How could he say something like that to me. Tears were forming in my eyes again, I was unable to believe the things my hero was saying to me.

" I'm sorry Izuku! "

For some reason, I remembered my mother's words from back then. My heart was beating so wild in my chest it almost hurt, but I couldn't even think straight. My dreams have always been crushed, I was born with broken dreams. Abandoned because I was quirkless. Nothing. A pile of dirt in the way. And everyone was making it clear to me every, single day. So why was he saying those things to someone like me? It didn't make sense.

It was getting hard to breathe and I slowly crumbled to the ground on my knees, hands over my heart.

"That was true for you too, wasn't it?"

I was crying now, something I've done everyday, but this weren't tears of sadness, no, how could they? I was crying out of happiness and disbelief because fuck, this was too much. For the first time in my life, someone gave me a little bit of hope, I was feeling something, other than sadness and fear. And everything seemed like a dream because this was my childhood hero.

He was practically a stranger who I met only today.

It wasn't my mother, or father, or teacher, or even Kacchan saying this.

This was THE Number One Hero in the world.

"Yeah..." I nodded my head, clenching my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut.

That's not what I wanted to hear, mom. Back then, I wanted you to say... The words I wanted to hear were...

"You can become a hero." 

Chapter Text

Approximately ten months have passed since All Might told Izuku he could become a hero. Everything changed from then on.

All Might started training with the boy, with the intention that he'd inherit his quirk. At first, that goal seemed too far away from him. Izuku was a scrawny, little kid without any muscles whatsoever. But over the ten months of excessive training, he got really strong. Since the incident with the sludge villain, Katsuki hasn't been bothering him. While he's glad about it, he wondered what changed his mind.

Izuku's been feeling a little bit better himself too. Not much, but enough to stop thinking about suicide all the time. The voices weren't bothering him so much anymore. Sometimes, he would still get really depressed, the voices would come back and he'd still cut. But right now, he was enjoying his life as much as his situation allowed him. 

Due to the cuts he occasionally made, he had to bandage his arms. During summer, it would get really bothersome because while he would train in a sleeveless shirt, his bandages remained wrapped around his arms. The one time All Might asked about it, he nearly fucked everything up.

"Young Midoriya", All Might started, seemingly looking a little nervous.  Izuku stopped what he was doing to turn and look at his idol, the nervousness effecting Izuku too and making him instantly nervous too. "Y-Yes?" 

"Why do you wear bandages, my boy? Is everything okay?" Izuku's eyes widened a bit and his cheeks flared up. Shit, shit, shit, what do I say? 

He was internally panicking to get out a decent excuse. "W-Well, you see, I, uhm, I, y-you know I just, er, I, i-its like a, uhm, fa-fashion thing?" 

All Might eyed him sceptically, a hint of worry still seen in his eyes. "Are you sure?"

Midoriya shook his head vigorously. "Y-Yeah! You know, I saw Eraserhead on TV once and thought that the, er, bandages looked cool, so I thought I would try something like that too!"

"Hahaha, ok young Midoriya, You had me worrying about you for a bit!" And the tension dissapeared, Izuku laughing awkwardly beside All Might. He wanted to tell All Might, he really did. But he would get disappointed again at the fact that All Might was just another adult who didn't care. 

After all, nobody had cared ever before. Why would someone care now? 

Right now, it's only been a day since the attack at USJ and Izuku felt like a complete failure. All that little self confidence and self worth he has built over the last 10 months vanished along with the villains. He was so stupid. After they had been attacked, he had to be saved TWICE because he tried to help. It made Izuku feel so ashamed of hinself. He really did make a fool out if himself, no matter what All Might said about buying him time or shit. And now the voice was back and he felt like a piece of garbage again. He didn't show it though, because now there were people who, for a change, weren't bullying him,which meant that he couldn't allow his mask to slip and let everyone see the real him. 

They would just leave you again, like our dearest Kacchan, isn't that so? 

Leave me alone...

You really need to listen to me sometimes. I already told you I won't, hahaha!

Izuku was trying his hardest to distract himself from the voice, but it just wouldn't stop. It kept talking and talking.

"Deku, are you ok?"

Izuku looked uo to see the worried faces of lida and Uraraka. He didn't understand why they looked like that, had he said something out loud?

It wasn't until he looked at his hands did he understood their worry.

He snapped his chopsticks in half while trying to eat the rice. Oh shit, shit, shit!

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm alright! I've just been thinking about the attack yesterday!"

Liar

"Oh yeah, that was so scary! But Asui said you were really good out there!"

Liar

"It is good to have someone like you in our class, Midoriya-kun!"

Liar

Shut up!

But I'm right, aren't I? Face it, they don't care about you at all, it's all fake! It's just pity fir a worthless piece of shit like you!

Izuku abrubtly stood up and bowed his head slightly, which confused Uraraka and lida greatly. 

" Deku, what are y-" 

"I'm going to use the bathroom for a bit. Please don't wait for me, I'll see you later." Before anyone could say anything else, Midoriya was already gone. 

You're a weakling, aren't you? Can't even cope with an imaginary voice, hahaha! 

Shut up, shut up! 

He ran through the hallway to the bathroom as fast as possible, the walls closing up on him, suffocating him. When he reached the bathroom door, he threw it hastily open and locked himself in one of the stalls. Breathing irratically, Izuku sank to the floor, choking due to the lack of air he was getting. His mind felt hazy and the voice in his head became louder and louder. 

You can kill yourself right now! Nobody would care! 

You are such a worthless piece of shit, you know that? 

Kacchan was right, go take a swan dive off the roof, youbwould make everyone so happy! 

"You are a disgrace to this family, you'd be better off dead."

"I'm sorry, I just cant do it anymore." 

"Worthless Deku, can't do anything right, can you?" 

"Take swan dive off the roof!" 

Silence. 

Izuku's mind cleared and his breathing finally slowed. His eyes, wet from tears, were closed and he tried taking deep breaths.   The voice was finally gone. 

When Izuku had completely calmed down, he noticed a sting on his arms. He slowly opened his eyes and looked down. Shit... 

His bandages were ripped off and many new cuts littered his arms. The floor beneath his hands was red from all the blood and he still held the razor in his hand. When did I take it out?

He completely blacked out, something that has been happening more often recently. That was not good. If something like that were to happen during class or somewhere where he wasn't alone... Well, the outcome would be horrible. He could already imagine those eyes, judging him, those smiles, laughing at him.

Luckily, the bandages were still clean, which meant that he could still bandage his arms with it. His uniform was also clean, he was holding his hands so nothing except the floor would get bloody. 

Only now remembering where he was, Izuku panicked and took out his phone to look at the time. He breathed a sigh of relief. Lunch was going to end in five minutes, so he had to hurry up a little.

Cleaning up as fast as he could, Izuku wiped the floor clean from the small puddle of blood and carefully bandaged his arms after stopping the bleeding. Izuku was just about to run out of the bathroom, when his vision suddenly turned black for a second and he stumbled backwards. Lately, he has been feeling exhausted as if he pulled all-nighters without getting even an few minutes of sleep. While he did sleep bad, his sleep always preoccupied by nightmares, he did get a full half an hour of sleep, which is, in fact, worse than a month ago where he got a total of two hours. Not to mention that he couldn't control his emotions anymore and blacked out more often than usual.

But what bothered him was the fact that he didn't know why he became like this. Sure, he had depression, schizophrenia and insomnia, but during his days in middle school, he always managed to be fit for the lessons, even when he sometimes didn't even get an hour of sleep. But now, it was hard keeping his eyes open and simple things like eating or even listening to the teacher was as hard for him as running a marathon. Picking up his chopsticks or keeping his eyed open seemed almost impossible with the state he was in, that was how bad his exhaustion has gotten. But now wasn't the time to worry about that, after all, he was running late to the afternoon classeswhere theywould train for the upcoming UA Sports Festival.

And to be honest, he wasn't looking forward to it.

°-°

Chapter Text

It's been two months since the U.A. Sports Festival. Class 1-A has gotten to know each other better. Literally everyone has taken a liking to Izuku. Especially to Izuku. He was like a strong thread that kept everyone together. But those who were attached to him the most were namely Uraraka, lida, Todoroki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero and Asui. All of them loved how Izuku was just an adorable, polite and innocent person. Always in to help someone and never thinking about himself.

Even Shinsou from Class 1-B got attached to the freckle faced boy. After the Sports Festival, they became really good friends and started hanging out together. 

And Izuku... Izuku himself was a completely another issue. He tried hiding his real self better, because he noticed Kacchan has been looking at him closer lately. He tried to smile a little wider everyday, pay more attention to his surroundings and try to analyze other people's behaviour. His plan seemed to have worked out, because he didn't feel those eyes on him anymore. On the other side, Izuku felt worse everyday. He couldn't even sleep anymore, Izuku would simply collapse out of exhaustion when he came back to the dorms. Which was another problem. Everyone lived in a dorm now. The boys on one side of the dorms, the girls on the other one. That's why Izuku tried even harder to hide the whole situation from everyone.

Every time he'd cut in the bathroom, he actually panicked a little because he feared someone might notice his absence, but... they didn't notice and maybe they didn't care. He knew it was the latter, but desperately hoped it wasn't.

Throughout the day he would always drink at least five energy drinks to keep himself awake. But lately, it seemed that they've lost their effect since the boy was tired, even when drinking those energy drinks. Izuku made sure that he wouldn't fall asleep in front of everyone again. What happened two weeks ago was already enough for him. 

"Finally we're here!" Ashido shouted, her muscles aching from the training they did.

"Yah, let's watch a movie or something together!"

Izuku stayed silent they whole time, his body exhausted and aching. He already drank six energy drinks throughout the day and at this point, his body wouldn't react to them anymore.

"Yo, Midoriya, you okay there?" It was Kaminari who asked this, smiling but with a hint of worry in his eyes. "I-" Izuku couldn't finish his sentence as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body gave in.

Just as he was about to crash onto the floor, a pair of warm hands caught him and carefully lowered the green haired boy to the floor. "Midoriya?"

It was Kirishima. His soft red eyes were looking worriedly at him, eyes checking for any unseen injuries. "Hey, Midoriya, buddy, open your eyes!" Midoriya slowly blinked his eyelids before closing them. His breath evened out and he fell asleep."Izuku?"

Kirishima poked Izuku's cheek and watched the smaller boys head loll to the side. At first, everyone started panicking because it looked like Izuku fainted, but once Kirishima heard the soft snores coming from the smaller boy, he snickered. "Hey Kirishima, what's so funny about it?" Uraraka asked with a glint of anger in her eyes. "Nothing, it's just... It seems like Midoriya fell asleep,hahaha!"

At that statement, the whole class burst into laughter. "This", Kaminari laughed. "Is priceless! Man, he must have been very exhausted!"

"Hey guys," Hagakure shyly said, but was ignored because of how loud everyone was being.

"Guys."

"Guys!"

"..."

"GUYS!!"

That got everyone's attention. In a calmer tone, Hagakure continued. "I think we should move Midoriya-kun to the couch so he could sleep a little more comfortable. We can watch a movie together too."

"Seems like a plan. I'll take Midoriya, you guys take some food with you!" Everyone agreed and left to go to the kitchen and living room. Kirishima gently swooped Izuku up, alarmed by how light he was. That wasn't even the right term, the boy was dead weight in his arms!

What the hell...

Ignoring that thought for now, Kirishima brought Izuku over to the couch and layed him down so that his head was laying on the armrest and covered him with a blanket. Kirishima sat down next to the sleeping boy, Kaminari and, surprisingly, Katsuki beside him. Everyone else sat down too and together they watched a movie.

Izuku woke up somewhere in the middle of the movie. "Whaa...?"

Kirishima noticed that Izuku was awake and smiled at him. "Hey buddy, you fell asleep earlier. Had us all worried. You can go back to sleep if you want, we're just watching a movie." The red haired boy's words registered somewhere in the back of Midoriya's head and he layed down again. He looked around and suddenly jolted up again." Oh my god guys, I'm so sorry I fell asleep! I seriously didn't think I was that tired, oh my god, I'm so sorry guys, seriously, I shouldn't have fell asleep like that, god I'm so stupid I worried you all and you brought me here, I'm so sorry I-"

"Woah, woah, calm down, buddy, everything's okay. It's not like you hurt someone, you just fell asleep." Everyone agreed at that, the movie paused and all eyes on the green haired boy, who was a red, blushing mess. "Midoriya-kun, you have to take care of yourself better, sleep is very important, especially for such a young body like yours!"

"Yeah, I'm so sorry lida, I'm going to sleep better, I promise, I'll go to bed earlier, I'm sorry for worrying you." Izuku looked down at his bandaged arms, relief flooding him when he saw that the bandages were still on him.After everything was settled, the class finished the movie and went to sleep.

In the end, Kirishima forgot to talk with Izuku about his weight.

Since then, Izuku settled to drinking energy drinks, along with coffee and other drinks that contained much caffeine. Izuku knew it wasn't healthy at all, but he couldn't take on any more risks. His thoughts became darker everyday, suicide actually seemed like a very good idea, no one would miss him after all. 

Right now, Izuku was sitting in the cafeteria, along with Uraraka, lida, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, Todoroki and Bakugou. Well, Kirishima forced Katsuki to come, that is. Despite Izuku's seemingly carefree attitude, he felt completely uncomfortable sitting there. He didn't have any appetite, again, and was staring into nothingness, eyes tiredly blinking. Yesterday had been another sleepless night, he couldn't close his eyes without suffocating in dark thoughts,which meant that he was up and cutting the whole time. His arms were already full of cuts, so he continued slitting his tights and stomach. It hurt, but the pain actually felt good. 

Izuku was so caught up in thoughts that he completely missed the suspicious looks he was getting from a certain blonde boy. 

Bakugou had trouble not thinking about his ex childhood friend. Sometimes, he would wake up at night to get a glass of water or shit and see that the lights in the bathroom were turned on and Deku's door slightly opened. It happened not one time, or he would have let that thought go, but since Katsuki woke up almost every night, he couldn't forget about it. And what was weird was that it was always Izuku who went to the bathroom. Just what was that shitnerd doing in there that required waking up every damn night?! 

Though Katsuki wouldn't admit, he was worried out of his mind and also furious over the fact that he couldn't find out what was going on with the nerd. His mind wandered back to when he followed Deku to the bathroom a few months ago. That time he heard him crying... Maybe he was crying in the bathroom every night? But why would he do that? He was a ball of sunshine, why would someone like him cry? And more importantly, over what? 

"Guys, I'll be right back. I'm going to use the bathroom." 

Katsuki looked up with a frown, eyeing Izuku up and down. Again?

He noticed how Izuku was slightly trembling, his left hand was gripping his right wrist tightly and his eyes seemed completely dead. Without waiting for answer, Izuku ran out of the cafeteria.

Katsuki had enough. Slamming his hands on the the table, the ash blonde boy followed Deku to the bathroom. " Yo shitnerd, stop running!"

He heard the freckle faced boy's breath hitch and he stopped running, frozen in place. Katsuki walked up to him. "Turn around so I can see you, I'm not gonna talk to myself."

Slowly, as if trying to buy himself time, Izuku turned around, eyes glued to the floor. With a sigh and a much calmer voice, Bakugou continued. "What the hell is going on with you? You run into the bathroom every. single. night. You think nobody noticed? Well, I did. So? Care to explain? "

Izuku still had his head down, looking anywhere but the person in front of him. He couldn't believe someone noticed. Moreso, after he was especially careful to his surroundings. " N-Nothing is wrong."

Wrong thing to say. Katsuki grabbed his shoulders in a tight grip and shaked him slightly. "Don't give me that bullshit! What's your problem, huh? You think you're so mighty that you don't have to tell me anything? You're always looking down on me you fucker, so quit that crap and talk to me!"

It was as if something inside Izuku snapped, because he abrubtly slapped Bakugou's hands away and glared at him with the most hateful glare he had ever seen on the small boy's face. The temperature seemed to have dropped several degrees, because suddenly, Katsuki felt coldness wrap around him.

"What does it matter to You! You never cared before, why care now? I don't know what to think of you anymore, Kacchan!" And just like that, he wasn't glaring at him anymore, instead looking at the floor again, a depressing aura surrounding him.

"First, you bully me, make it clear that I am unwanted in your presence, and then you suddenly ask me what's wrong with me? I'm telling you that nothing. is. wrong. with. me. You can go back now, I'm using the bathroom like any other human being!" Stomping off, Izuku left Katsuki completely dumbfounded in the hallway. Katsuki sighed and pinched his nose. Way to go, Bakufuck. God, how can I mess this up so bad! What the fuck were you doing just now, mouth?

Bakugou ran a hand through his hair in distress, before huffing and turning around to go back to the cafeteria, but not before glancing back to the spot where Izuku dissappeared.

°-°

Izuku locked himself in one of the stalls and sank to the floor. He just snapped at Kacchan! How could he let that happen?

Way to go, you sick fuck. Seriously, how can someone mess this up so bad? Now he'll definitely destroy you, hahaha!

Shut up, I know that...

His head felt like it would split in half at how bad it hurt. He already drank four energy drinks and three cups of coffe, but he was still tired as hell, something inside of him was constantly causing him pain, he had a massive migraine and that voice WASN'T HELPING AT ALL!

Aw, nice of you to appreciate me like that! 'wasn't helping at all!' Technically, I am helping you find the best way to end your pain, but you wouldn't listen, what a shame!

Can't you be quiet for now, please...

Well, well only since we don't want to be late for training, do we?

Oh. He forgot. Today it was supposed to be a free afternoon, but everyone wanted to train at USJ and Aizawa-sensei said he and Nemuri-sensei would watch over them. Ectoplasm would be there too to make some clones for them to train on. They even said they could turn on some music.

Exiting the bathroom in a hurry, Izuku ran to his classroom, seeing Shinsou on his way there. "Hey Midoriya." The purple haired boy greeted him. He even had a small smile on his face. "Hey, Shinsou-san!" Deku greeted back, quickly putting on his tough facade.

"Didn't I tell you to just call me Shinsou?"

"Ah, yeah, sorry!" Izuku rubbed the back of his head whilst smiling sheepishly. As if remembering something, the green haired boy spoke up. "Oh yeah, Shinsou, do you want to go train with us at USJ?" Said boy thought for a moment, before agreeing and following the smaller boy towards his class.

"Oh look, it's Shinsou! Hey man, you coming with us?" Kaminari shouted, followed by a calm 'yeah' from the other boy. Everyone else also greeted the purple haired boy. Izuku looked around his class with a fake smile on his face. Everyone was chatting happily and even Shinsou went to talk to the others.

Everyone but one.

Izuku's smile fell a little when he noticed Kacchan looking at him with a serious expression. He didn't want to talk to him. Not yet. Katsuki stood up and made his way over to the frozen green haired boy, who looked like he would start crying any second. Shit, shit, shit, please, someone save me from this...

It's your fault in the first place for snapping like that, poor, little Izuku! 

He looked frantically around and spotted Uraraka, who was talking with Asui and Ashido. lida was scolding Aoyama, who was sitting on a desk and laughing. No one even noticed him and Katsuki was coming nearer. No, no, no...

"Alright class", came the voice of Aizawa from the door. Izuku breathed a sigh of relief. Perfect timing. Everyone turned to look at their homeroom teacher, who was standing at the door along with Nemuri, who had a smile on her face. "If everyone's ready, let's go. Shinsou, you'll be joining us?"

Said boy nodded briefly. Aizawa turned around and sighed. "Let's go, I want to go to sleep already." 

On their way to the bus, lida instructed everyone to stand in pairs while waving around with his hands. "lida-kun", Asui stated. "Everyone's already standing in pairs except for you."

"Oh."

After everyone was seated, they took off towards USJ. On the way, everyone was yelling again, much to Aizawa's dismay. He just wanted to sleep, but those little brats wouldn't stop yelling. "Cheer up!" Nemuri said, slapping a hand on the man's back. Aizawa only grunted in response, before growing serious again. "Have you noticed that Midoriya seemed kinda... off?"

Midnight stopped smiling, a frown replacing the smile. "Yeah, every emotion he displays seems so... fake, but I don't know why." Both adults casted a glance at the young boy, who was sitting beside Uraraka with his eyes closed, but not sleeping.

"Well, maybe we're just overthinking. I mean, he doesn't have a reason to fake his emotions, like Toshinori said, he is a very bright student." Aizawa agreed and the conversation ended on those words.

°-°

"We are here!" Ashido cheered, excited to be able to train there again.

Everyone gathered around Aizawa, who took out his sleeping bag again. "Okay, listen here. Ectoplasm is also gonna be here and make a few clones for you to train on. Midnight here's gonna turn on some music via the speakers of the hall and you train whatever you want. If you have questions, go bother those two", he pointed at Midnight and Ectoplasm. "because I am going to sleep. Okay? Okay."

Nemuri went to turn in the music, while Aizawa explained a few other things to his students, Ectoplasm standing beside him.

After everything was settled, the Class, plus Shinsou, went to train in different areas, Midoriya ahead of everyone, trying to escape the eyes of Bakugou. Suddenly, energetic music was heard through the speakers. "Woahh, I love this song! It gets me all hyped up!"

Everyone agreed to what Kaminari said, starting to sing along. However, that moment of joy didn't last long.

 

Because in that moment, Izuku screamed. 

Chapter Text

The scream was followed by a deafening boom so powerful, it actually knocked everyone, teachers and students alike, off their feet. 

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!" 

There wasn't a single person in the building that wasn't affected by those waves of power. Even the teachers, who tried to get a hold of themselves, were send crashing into a far wall, not too far away from the entrance of USJ.

Several people tried using their quirks, namely Katsuki, Kirishima, Todoroki and lida, but to no effort. Katsuki's explosions were immediately extinguished, Kirishima tried to activate his quirk, but the strong waves coming from sowhere were too powerful, resulting in him also crashing into a wall. Todoroki tried using his ice to shield himself from the unknown power, but was shocked when he saw the ice crack to a thousand pieces, and lida tried to run into the direction of the power's source to stop it, but was blown off into a wall, right next to Kirishima. All of the other students were also send crashing into one of the main sections of the facility. 

Everyone tried looking at the source of that power, but it was hard opening their eyes, because all they could see was whirled up sand, caused by the waves of sheer force, which were expanding in every direction. 

Aizawa, who was the first to get a hold of himself, tried opening his eyes, only to close them again due to the sand getting in them. The teacher sighed inwardly. Why couldn't they have one peaceful trip to USJ without any incidents?! 'What a drag...' 

The teacher figured that he had to wait a little for the power to die down, even if only a little. So he waited anxiously, not comprehending what was happening. After a few moments that seemed like an eternity, the powerful wave became weaker and the Erasure Hero managed to open his eyes a little. What he saw, made them widen noticeably. 

His problem child was standing with his hands clenched tightly around his ears. His mouth was opened as if screaming, but no sound came out. 

His eyes were opened wide and unseeing. 

But what made everything even stranger, was the fact that his eyes were glowing in a purple light, the same with which the boy was surrounded right now. Not to mention that HE, out of all people, was the source of that power. 

'What the hell is happening?' 

Shouta looked around and saw that the other teachers and students were still affected by the waves of power coming from Midoriya, so he tried crawling a little bit closer, which was harder than he let on. With how strong those waves were, he couldn't keep his eyes open long enough to focus on his student. So he had to crawl closer to activate his quirk, if only for a split second. And his mind wasn't focused enough to come up with another plan.

All he could see was his student. And something was happening to him. Whether it be his quirk going crazy, or him being affected by someone else's quirk, he didn't know. But even if his quirk was going crazy, that power could not possibly come from the quirk passed onto him by All Might. One for All did not work that way. And why would his quirk even go crazy in the first place? So what...

Eyes widening slightly, Aizawa felt like slapping himself in the face. He had to erase the quirk first and then access the damage. All the questions in his head weren't helping his colleagues and students. Closing his eyes for a moment to collect himself, the Eraser Hero took a deep breath, finally focused on Izuku and activated his quirk. 'Fuck!' Even if it wasn't as bad as it was before, the sand was still being wirled uo and now that he activated his quirk, his actually caught a decent amount of dirt. But that wasn't important right now. 

The effect of his quirk was instantaneous. The waves of power abruptly stopped and the purple light died down. The black haired hero closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting his tense muscles relax. When he opened them again, he decided to take a look around. The students were slowly getting up to their feet, some helping the ones who got hit harder. Then he saw Midoriya again. His eyes were half closed, looking dull and unseeing, so unlike the usual ones. The green haired boy staggered a few times and swayed dangerously. "Shit!" 

Shouta leapt forward to catch Izuku, who stumbled and fell forward. Wrapping his bandages around the tiny body, Aizawa slowly lowered him to the ground, kneeling beside him. His eyes roamed over the boy's body, taking in his unconscious form. 

His face was pale, almost like a sheet of paper which wasn't, in any way, healthy. His hair was a grey shade of its original colour, looking unkept and faded. But what alarmed him was his body itself. It was just skin and bones. His problem child looked impossibly small and vulnerable, laying on the ground with closed eyes. Aizwa noted that he'd have to talk about that later with him.

By now, the other students were slowly shuffling closer, still frightened about what happened. But upon seeing Izuku's still form, all signs of fright disappeared. 

"Is he okay?" 

"What the hell happened?" 

"Shit- was that Midoriya?" 

"Aizawa-sensei, is he gonna be alright?" 

"Why did he faint?" 

"Was that his quirk?" 

 

"Silence!"

Everyone stopped talking and looked at their teacher, who still didn't take his eyes off his problem child. Kirishima, being the closest to his teacher and friend of all the students, crouched down beside Izuku and frowned. Behind him, Uraraka, lida, Kaminari, Ashido, Shinsou and Todoroki also crept closer until they were standing right behind their red haired friend.

"Aizawa-sensei", Kirishima spoke up quietly, not taking his eyes off the freckle faced boy. "Was that his quirk?"

Carefully, Eijiro put his hand on the boys forehead, cursing when he felt how hot it was. He also noticed how tired and dead their friend looked, how could they not have payed attention to that... Kirishima felt like garbage, guilt wracking his mind as he closed his hand around the thin - too thin, to small- wrist. He remembered now, wanting to talk to Midoriya about his weight after the boy collapsed in their dorm. And he forgot, how could he forget something this important... 'How hadn't we noticed before that something wasn't right...?'

"Yes", Aizawa answered after a while of quietness. "I erased his quirk, but something is wrong. It couldn't be his quirk that did this."

"But", Uraraka chirped in. "He's gonna be alright, right?" Surpressing a tired sigh, the teacher finally looked up and locked eyes with everyone's worried gaze. "That problem child's gonna be just fine." A little bit further away, he saw Nemuri and Ectoplasm looking at him. A silent conversatiom seemed to pass through the trio, before Nemuri nodded. Aizawa gave a nod of acknowledgement back and stood up. 

"You brats will continue training with Midnight and Ectoplasm, I'm gonna bring problem child over here to the infirmary." With surprising gentleness, Aizawa took Izuku in his arms and took off, away from the protests of his students to let them come with him.

°-°

The walk to Recovery Girl was long and it gave Aizawa plenty of time to think as to what could have happened and why. But not only that. He was also very concerned for Izuku's well-being, even if he didn't show it. First of all, he was shocked by how little Midoriya seemed to weight. He was as light as a feather in the man's arms and while he knew that Izuku had a thin frame and was always scrawny-looking, this was clearly not normal with how tiny the boy looked. 

Secondly, he would have to have a talk with Midoriya about his well-being in general. Now that he thought about it, he cursed himself for failing to notice that something was wrong with his student from day one. He may only be the teacher of the boy, but he noticed so many things that had him questioning what had happened with the freckle faced boy. And no doubt the other's had noticed too. It were small things, really, may it be his personality, his habits or his behaviour, but they still noticed it. 

For example, there was the stuttering whenever he talked about something, looking so timid and unsure, but Aizawa didn't understand why. The boy talked as if he was afraid nobody would be willing to listen to him or just cut him off mid-sentence. 

Then it was the flinching. Whenever someone tried to hug him, Izuku would always flinch, stiffening immediately as if he expected to be hurt. Even when someone moved unexpectedly, for example if someone were to trip over something near Midoriya, or someone simply did something unexpected, the boy always flinched. 

The muttering was a habit similar to his stuttering. No doubt it had something to do with one another. Fear of not being listened to, but when they're listening, you want to say everything at once, because you think that they're gonna change their mind. The boy's timid nature itself was also something to worry aside. Let's cast aside the flinching and stuttering for now. 

Over the time they spend together as teacher and students, Aizawa tried to make out their personality and everything related to that. But whenever he came back to the topic Izuku Midoriya, he was left clueless. Some worrying things he noticed for sure. For example, how he would always apologize for everything, even if it wasn't his fault. Everyone kept telling him to stop doing it because most of the time, he wasn't at fault at all, but the green haired boy didn't listen. That his problem child had a too soft heart was clear after he first met him. The way he would always help everyone, never raise his voice at anyone, no matter how rude they were , heck, he even put up with Bakugou's attitude for fuck's sake. He was so selfless, but sometimes he had a feeling it had something much more darker to it. Shouta felt as if Izuku really didn't care about himself at all.

There were the tabu-topics, as Aizawa liked to call them, as well. It was not like his student would explode with anger, but you could clearly see how uncomfortable he was when that tabu-topic was brought up. The first tabu-topic was his family. Whenever someone asked him about his mother or father, he would simply say "My father works overseas, so me and my mother live alone." Shouta knew there was something to it, but they always dropped the topic. Midoriya was hardly uncomfortable with something, and when he was, they respected it. The other tabu-topic was his past in general. Thinking about everything that had happened since they met, Aizawa figured that he knew nearly nothing about his problem child. Whether it be about his school days, his realtionship with Katsuki or other friends, nobody knew anything. The only thing that everyond knew was Izuku's name, obviously, his age, his apparent relationship with his parents, and the fact that he and Bakugou were childhood friends. That's it. No favourite color, animal, movie, nothing. 'Maybe we should do a general get-to-know lesson...', the teacher thought tiredly.

When the Erasure Hero came to stand in front of Recovery Girl's office, Aizawa took a deep breath - because no matter how calm he looked on the outside, he was still worried for the problem child of class 1-A [even though he would never admit that willingly] - and slowly opened the door. In the room, Recovery Girl's head turned to look at him, sighing when she saw the small bundle in Aizawa's arms. 

"What happened this time? Broke his legs? Arms? Or something else?" 

The woman said as she turned away from them, typing something on the computer. 

"I don't know what happened." At that, she turned back to Aizawa and raised an eyebrow. "You don't know what happened? Wait, let's move him to the bed first, you can tell me everything later." 

Shouta carefully layed Izuku down on the bed and watched as Recovery Girl did her work. "This doesn't make any sense", Aizawa suddenly said. Recovery Girl didn't say anything, instead letting him continue. "There weren't any villains that could have used their quirk on him and what happened definitely wasn't because of his quirk."

"What happened?" While checking Izuku, Recovery Girl was at a loss of words. While the boy didn't have any injuries, he was extremely malnourished and sleep-deprived. She thought that Izuku was a very sweet boy, who had to carry a lot of problems with him. There were many things about him she didn't understand, but she tried to do everything she could to help him. And seeing him care so little for himself worried her. Didn't he kniw that eating and sleeping was essential for functioning during the day? 

"We went to USJ to train. Midnight and Ectoplasm went with us and when we got there, we turned on the music. After that, I really didn't understand what happened. There were powerful waves of sheer force expanding in every direction. It was Midoriya, but I don't understand how that could have happened. It definitely wasn't his quirk, and it definitely wasn't a villains quirk that affected him. "

" You stopped those waves with your quirk? " Recovery Girl interrupted. "Yes. That's what's weird about it all." There was silence after those words. "Maybe we should call a quirk specialist, he'll know what to do. So don't worry, because everything was going to be fine" Recovery Girl promised without a second thought. She didn't cast the Hero beside her even one glance, intending to finish what she was doing. 

Recovery Girl checked Izuku for any more injuries,frowning when she saw the bandages. Now that she thought about it, she had never seen him without those on. "Aizawa-kun, have you ever seen Midoriya-kun without those bandages?"

The Erasure hero put a hand to his chin and thought for a moment. "No. He said he didn't like to take them off, so we didn't."

"I think we should take them off." Shouta stared at the woman beside him, then averted his gaze to look at the boy in front of him. Reflecting on everything that involved talking to Izuku about his bandages, Aizawa took notice that the green haired boy always looked panicked when asked to remove them. By all means, he respected his student's privacy, but if taking them off meant that they could help him, he was ready to ignore his students pleas to let the subject go. "I think we should." Recovery Girl gave the man beside her a curt nod before slowly unwrapping his arms from the bandages.

They had expected anything, really. Tattoos, embarrassing injuries he tried to hide. Anything, really. 

But neither was prepared for what they saw. 

Aizawa's eyes widened in shock and disbelief, as did Recovery Girl's. 

Time seemed to slow down around the Erasure hero and the only thing he registered was his heart hammering wildly in his chest. 'Oh god, no...' 

Hidden behind bandages were self inflicted scars, all varying in size and depth,crisscrossing each other like a wild battlefield of cuts. 

 

 

The room was silent and neither of them spoke, wondering how they hadn't noticed before.

 

Chapter Text

Hello guys!

I need some help with choosing the next story I'm going to write after finishing this one. I have a few ideas in mind, so I want you to choose the one you would like for me to write first. They're all Boku No Hero Academia fanfictions, but I plan on writing others too, like Bungou Stray Dogs, Servamp or Haikyuu. So please read all the summaries and give me a review. Just comment the number below :)

Anyway, let's get it started:

 

Number 1:

Soulmate AU/Still with quirks and all

In this world, soulmates are connected with each other through a red string and a soul mark. The soulmark and string will both appear at the age of 10, and the two are fated to be with each other forever. However, if one of the two will abandon his soulmate, the abandoned soul will fall into an endless pit of darkness, which will slowly consume the abandoned soulmates whole mind until there is nothing left but a black void. The soulmark will start bleeding, before turning black - a sign of a broken fate. The red string will be cut off and the thin thread will slowly blacken, a sign of the abandoned soulmate dying, until the thread turns completely black and the person dies. The person who abandoned his soulmate will NOT feel any pain at first, he will see the cut off string but not feel the same pain as his soulmate. Realising his mistake and trying to fix it is going to be near impossible- the abandoned souls mind being nothing but broken pieces and darkness. In most cases, the soulmate will die during his soul mates attempt to fix him, fate trying to keep the two broken soulmates away from each other.

In a world like this, Katsuki and Izuku happened to be soulmates. Both were childhood friends from a young age on. Both got a quirk at the age of 4 and dreamed to be the best hero team in the world. Izuku's quirk was exactly like his mother's. He could let for example objects float towards him or control the direction in whuch they're floating. 

In school, Izuku was bullied for his weaker nature and kind soul, but even with Bakugou helping him get rid of them, he didn't always know what was going on. Izuku became depressed and tried to kill himself after a student told him to take a swan dive off the roof. Katsuki was able to save him, but even with that help, Izuku fell into a coma. Ten months passed and bakugou made it into u.a. He often visited Izuku and watched over him. But then things started to change when he made new friends. He visited less and started to forget about his childhood friend. After a few months at u.a., izuku finally woke up. At first Bakugou visited him the whole time, Deku having to stay in the hospital until all his wounds are healed, but when he noticed that Izuku seemed fine, he started to forget about the boy. He came less and less, until he stopped coming at all. At first, Izuku was confused and worried, which was why he immediately went to find him after he got released from the hospital. When they saw each other, Bakugou ignore him and turned back to talk with his new friends. 

Izuku couldn't believe it at first. He tried to reach him and talk to him, but was always disappointed. After coming to the conclusion that nobody needed him, he ran away. His mother had died a few days prior after a building collapsed. His trust in heroes failed completely when he saw that while there had been gunshots, hostages and bombs, there hadn't been any hero in sight.

After a month, Bakugou realised that his childhood friend was missing. To his horror, the ash blonde started realising just what he did to the boy, so he and everyone of his friends started searching for him. But to no avail. 

Two years later, a new villain called Deku appears with the league of villains, who apparently hates heroes and is out to destroy them. When Bakugou realises who DEKU is, can he save him from everything and build up his trust in heroes again? Moreso, what will happen with the blackening red string of fate? 

[ "What the hell?! Why are you fighting with them, why are you on their side?! "

"Well, hello. Long time no see, I guess." 

"Stop pretending and tell me you little shit! I searched for you, I thought you were gone!" 

"Oh, really now. You abandoned me remember? You don't really care." 

"Of course I care! We're..." 

"We're what? Friends? Sorry, but I can't recall being friends with a self centered asshole!" 

"What happened to you? The friend I knew would never say that to me!" 

"What happened... You ask...Well, my eyes have been opened and my mind cleaned of all the bullshit people were telling. I finally realised who spoke the truth! So I changed. I stopped pretending to be someone I am not and here we are! We are all there where we should be. You who believed all the lies society told you, are attending U.A. and I, who learned the truth is a villain!"] 

 

Number Two:

Slight ¿Horror? AU( not really sure about that story idea, it's kinda weird)

Class 1-A is having a vacation! After everything that happened, Aizawa decided to take his class to Kyoto, to relax and get their minds off of all the fighting and stress. Not to mention that our favourite green haired boy had, once again, broken his leg and needed a small break to recover from his injuries. Arriving in the city, they stayed in a normal looking hotel. Everyone who was working there, seemed pretty nice. But not everything is as it seems. 

After staying the night in the hotel, Class 1-A was getting ready to go to the beach to spend a day there. Unbeknownst to them, they were the only guests in the hotel, the service being villains that were out to take the hero and heroes in training down. One of the villains had a quirk to make exact copies of people, cloning they're appearances and quirks. Before leaving the hotel, a villain made a clone of Midoriya that left with the Class. Meanwhile, Midoriya was still asleep and alone in the hotel. But not for too long, because the villain made clones of everyone who was on this trip. 

They're goal: Break All Might's successor. Make him an emotionless puppet. And the villains the puppeteers. 

Midoriya wakes up long after the class is gone, and is faced with a game. A game of survival. 10 rooms. 19 friends. No way out of the hotel. Are you ready to play? 

["Hello Midoriya Izuku! What an honor to have you here! We have a little surprise for you, a little game we think you will like! How about it, are you ready to play? 

The rules are simple. You have to get out of this hotel, but on you're way there you have to pass ten rooms. Each room will have two of you're friends in there. One is dead, the other alive. There are two masks on each side of the bed. One red, the other blue. Put the red one on your friend and he'll instantly die. The blue mask is just a mask. You put it on the dead friend. However, if you put the blue mask over your friend that's alive, he'll attack you. Your goal: Kill him and put both masks on your friends. 

And in case you try to run away, the whole building is filled with bombs that are waiting to blow off this whole place. Now, you wouldn't want innocent people getting hurt, do you? 

The first room is marked with a 1,the second room with a 2 and so on. 

Without further ado, let the games begin!" ] 

 

Number Three:

Shigaraki is Izuku's brother

Two boys that have been born into a family of disaster. Midoriya Tenko and Midoriya Izuku. Since birth, everything was a catastrophe for the two. Abusive father, abusive mother and no one to turn to. They're family life has been a big secret since they were born, and zhey wanted nothing more but run away from that. But they couldn't, because they're parents had connections everywhere. Not to mention that both of them were looking exactly like they're parents. Tenko had the same black hair color and red eyes as his father, whilst Izuku looked like a replica of his mother. Both had curly hair, the only difference were their quirks. Whilst his father's quirk was All for One and his mother's quirk consisted of simply floating objects towards her, Tenko's quirk was called Decay. Izuku on the other side, became quirkless after his father stole his quirk. Tenko's quirk does NOT work on Izuku because they're brothers. 

Tenko was six years old when Izuku had been born, and when Izuku turned eight years old, his father left to become the Leader of the League of Villains. Tenko was forced to leave with him. 

7 years later, the brothers meet at USJ, during the League of Villain's first attack. Can both of them keep their relation to each other a secret? When the time comes, they have to choose sides to fight against their enemies, but who exactly is their enemy? 

["I-Izuku..." 

"Nii-san? What's happening? What-Why are you here?" 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had no other choice..."

"Stay away from Deku, villain!" 

"I have to go, I'm sorry, we'll meet again I promise."

"W-Wait, it's - I have so many questions, you-you don't have to go now, I'll talk to them, I'll tell them not to attack you, just- "

"I'll explain later, Izuku, I'll explain lat-"

"SEVEN YEARS!! S-seven y-years... Y-you left me with her... You told me you'd come back..."

"I'm sorry, goodbye..."

"WAIT!" ]

 

Number Four:

Izuku is psychometric

Izuku admired all kind of quirks. Wether it be a strong quirk, or a weaker one, he admired all of them. He himself, was quirkless. Well, except for the fact that he was a freak. 

He had a normal life. His mother and him were living peacefully together, his father working abroad to earn money for the family. At school he was getting bullied for being weird and quirkless. Especially his childhood friend Katsuki. Or Kacchan how he wouild call him. He didn't have any friends, but he was okay with that. After all, he was a quiet kid that enjoyed peace and silence. But he hated himself. He hated his fake looking blue-green eyes that had a tinge of pink in them. That's why he always wore green eye lenses. But most importantly, he hated his ability. It wasn't a quirk, but an abnormality only his mother and father knew about. 

Just by touching a person or an object with his bare skin, he could see the memories they held. He always wore gloves to stop things he didn't even want to see. 

Even after he met All Might and all his friends in U.A. he didn't tell anyone, too afraid how the others wouild react to that. But when suddenly, people were starting to get murdered, the killers never leaving a trace, and the pattern seemingly completely random, Izuku has to step up and overcome his self hatred and insecurities in order to help solve that big mystery. 

["Shimura... Tenko...?"

"What the hell? How do you know?!" 

"Oh...I-I didn't..." 

"How. Do. You. Know?" 

"I saw." 

"Huh?" 

"I saw a woman calling your name... She had black hair and blue ey-" 

"... Impossible... How did you saw? Nobody knew, nobody was there..." 

He contemplated for a moment, unsure of what to say. The man in front of him was his enemy and such information could get him in very big trouble. But he looked so... Sad right now. As if he saw something he wasn't supposed to see. 'Of course not. You're watching his memories, how can that be something you were was supposed to see?' 

No. He couldn't. He couldn't let anyone know his flaw. His abnormality. What made him a freak. 

Not now at least.] 

 

Yeah, so those were the ideas I had in mind. Not all, but the ones I really thought about. Please comment the number you want below. I will be doing all of these fanfiction ideas, I'm just not really sure what to start of. 

Furthermore, I wanted to hear if you guys would like me to write a fanfiction of another anime. For example:

Bungou Stray Dogs 

Blue Exorcist

Haikyuu

Servamp

Free

Kuroko No Basuke

Or something like that. Please let me know. Thank you and I'll be waiting for your comments!