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Jared, From Boy to Man

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The Supernatural writers, Eric and Sara, agreed that Jared brought exuberance to the character of Sam. He bounced off the walls with his energy. A self-conscious, boy, who just turned 22 in July, Jared was as insecure about his body as a teenager. Yet in spite of his inhibitions, Jared was nonetheless himself. He lived out loud, unable to suppress his personality.

Jensen was slightly older, and a more experienced actor. Elder than Jared by four years, Jensen's maturity level exceeded Jared’s. Acting and modeling since childhood, Jensen behaved professionally. He was serious for his age, in part from acting on a soap opera with an older cast. He never initiated pranks. Generally, he ran his lines and got into character while waiting to film his scenes.

Initially, working with Jared exhausted everyone. He was so talkative, and needed constant verbal engagement with others. He gave voice to every thought in his head. He was a great actor, and his dailies looked really good. The director, Bob Singer, felt Jared was emotionally high maintenance, but he was young, and would grow out of it. Plus, the results on film were worth it.

The writers and director Eric, Sara and Philip, saw the toll Jared’s needs took on Jensen, how exhausted Jensen was at the end of each day’s filming. They discussed it among themselves. They knew the boys would find a balance, Jensen engaging more, and Jared calming himself. It would take time for them to find a norm that was comfortable for them. The director and writers agreed to keep a close eye on the dynamic to ensure balance and avoid burn out.  

“The boys”, as they were called on set, were equally enthusiastic about co-starring in a new show. Being a co-lead in a new show could make an actor’s career. Jensen tended to be subdued about showing his emotions. Rather than jumping up and down, he might say, “I’m honored to be cast in this role, and to have the opportunity to play Dean Winchester on Supernatural,” whereas Jared demonstrated his enthusiasm by bounding around the set gleefully, jumping, and touching, engaging, warmly smiling with his mouth and twinkling eyes, and talking to everyone in his vicinity. Both boys were well liked.    

In the hair and makeup trailer, Jared would talk incessantly as his hair was styled. Tricia did makeup and Jeannie did hair. He talked about his folks, his brother, Jeff, the orthopedic surgeon, his sister in high school, Megan, his home state of Texas, and his 2 dogs, Sadie and Harley.

Jensen, on the other hand, was calm in the mornings, content to relax quietly in the chair while his makeup was applied, his scalp massaged, and his hair styled. He made a good audience for Jared.

Jared was a big eater. At 6’4”, he consumed a lot of calories every day in the form of both food and sweets. He loved candy, both chocolate and the junky kind. It’s a wonder he maintains such beautiful, straight, white teeth, Jensen thought.

There was a little awkwardness between Jared and Jensen naturally when they first started filming together. They were cast as brothers, but as humans who were just getting acquainted, it could be awkward to maintain the constant eye contact required during some of the brothers’ scenes. The dialogue was intense. Also, some of the dialogue Dean delivered was stern. After the scenes Jensen would check in with Jared, just to make sure Jared was not taking anything personally.

“I apologize for some of the lines I have to deliver” Jensen said to Jared. “Dean sometimes barks orders and takes a hard line with Sam. It can feel awkward to me because I like you Jared, and I would never speak that harshly to you if not in character.”

“I understand” replied Jared. “I know what you mean. I feel it a little too. There is an intimacy in the dialogue since we are playing brothers, yet we hardly know each other.”

“I’m sure we will move past this stage eventually. I just wanted you to know. Nothing personal.”

“Gotcha.” Jared replied.

 __

Jared loved the intimacy of the dialogue on set. He loved having a fake brother. Set could be lonely, and Jared got a built-in best friend in this job.  Off set, they had not gotten close yet, but they were constant companions during the long workday.

Jensen learned from the crew that Jared was an early bird, he arose from bed without hitting snooze. He would take his dogs out for a morning jog before the day began. Whereas, Jensen was grumpy in the morning and a sleepy head. He hated to leave his bed in the morning. Nonetheless, he was a disciplined professional, and arrived on set on time.

The network arranged for press to come to set to interview the male leads to create publicity for the show during the final month of filming. It was April, the last month of filming season one.

“Jensen, tell us a little-known fact about your costar” the reporter asked.

“Why does Jared sweat so much? That is what I want to know.”

Stung by Jensen’s question, Jared’s jaw dropped. His eyes widened in surprise and watered slightly. He fought back tears at the unflattering observation Jensen announced on national television.

When the reporter turned to ask Jared the same question, Jared was tongue tied.

“I want to know how many hours a day Jensen spends in front of the mirror practicing his model face.” Jared sucked in his cheeks and puckered his lips while gazing into the camera with sultry eyes in imitation of Jensen’s model face. This was the meanest thing Jared could think of to say. 

Thinking it hilarious, Jensen’s face lit up and his head tilted back. He released a hearty laugh.

Pain. Jared felt pain in his heart. His feelings were hurt. His coworker’s view of him was that he sweated a lot. That was harsh to hear. Jared had an affection for Jensen. He also respected Jensen, and looked up to him as an older, more experienced actor. Jared had a high opinion of Jensen, and concluded from Jensen’s remark that his high opinion was not reciprocated.

How could he offer that observation about me? Is that the only characteristic of me worth noting? Is that what stands out about me after 9 months of working together?

Jared replayed it in his mind. He felt humiliated and hurt. He ruminated and ruminated about it, causing him to feel badly about himself, and sending him into a mild depression.

---

The next morning, Jared called in sick to the set. Phil, the Director went to Jared’s trailer to check on him. He found Jared laying on his bed in his trailer brooding. 

"You sick?"

"No?"

"What’s the matter then?"

"I’m feeling down."

"You want to talk to someone? A professional?"

"Yes."

---

The psychologist, Dr. Cheryl Mack, visited Jared in his trailer. He related the interview to her.

“I want to know why he sweats so much was Jensen’s burning question about me after 9 months of working together. I feel hurt. I feel embarrassed. I like Jensen and care what he thinks of me. How could I have made that impression? That is not the impression I was hoping to leave on Jensen. Am I a joke? a freak? I’m super tall, and I sweat a lot. Maybe my physique comes across well on camera, but in real life I’m very skinny and freakishly tall. I’m not 100% comfortable with my body. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t feel lovable. I don’t feel like leaving my trailer.”

“Is your relationship with Jensen important to you?” asked Dr Mack.

"Yes"

"Important enough that you would rather work through a rough patch than walk away from it entirely?"

"Yes"

"Do you think Jensen knows how you feel about what he said?"

"No"

"Do you think Jensen would care if he knew your feelings were hurt by his disclosure?"

"Yes"

"Would you feel better if you worked out an understanding with Jensen about what personal information it is okay for you to share about each other with the national media?"

"Yes"

"Do you think you can have a conversation with Jensen about this?"

"It will be awkward and uncomfortable. But I think I can do it."

"Do you think he will incorporate the feedback and be more sensitive about his disclosures in the future?"

"Yes"

"Do you think he meant to hurt you?"

"No"

"Do you think he cares about you?"

"Yes"

"Why is Jensen’s opinion so important to you?"

"I love Jensen."

"You love Jensen."

"Yes, I love Jensen."

"So the man you love told the world you sweat a lot?"

"Yes"

"Tell me more about your feelings about Jensen."

“It really hurt my feelings. I took it as a dis-affirmation. I mean I love him. I have not told him in any words, but I definitely radiate love to him every day. There is no way I don’t because I feel it every minute, and I am so happy to be around him every minute. His statement about my sweating, I took it as a rejection of me, as if I confessed my feelings to him and he rejected me. That’s how I feel, rejected by Jensen.”

"Do you think saying “you sweat a lot” is equal to saying “I don’t love you?”

"No"

"Do you think saying “Jared sweats a lot” is equal to saying “Jared is not lovable?”

"No"

"Is it possible for someone who sweats a lot to be lovable?"

"I guess..."

"Do you even sweat a lot?"

"I’m always moving and sometimes we wear heavy costumes in the warm weather, and work under hot lights. Plus I'm a pretty big guy, I generate a lot of body heat."

"Do you think you can talk to wardrobe about that?"

"Yes"

"Okay good I think we are getting somewhere." 

"Anything else you want to get off your chest?"

"I’m gay."

"Does Jensen know?"

"I never told him. I’m not hiding it. I just don’t bring it up."

"How do you feel about coming out to Jensen?"

"I wouldn’t want him to feel awkward around me or pressured in his workplace.  I’m not embarrassed by it. We have not talked about dating and relationships so I just keep it to myself. It’s not like I’m hiding it, but I would rather wait until he brings up the subject."

"How do you feel about confessing your love to Jensen?"

"I feel like he is not going to return my affections, and I am going to be crushed when I hear the No. So I would rather put it off."

"Do you think if Jensen does not love you romantically that your world will go on?"

"Yes"

"Do you think you will fall in love with someone who loves you in return one day?"

"Yes"

"Do you think you’re lovable?"

"I guess so."

"Jared, First love yourself. Then you can love others. Feeling worthy is crucial to your happiness. That’s what we will work on next time.

"How about we do this once a week?" Dr Mack suggested.

"Yeah"

"OK see you next week. And I recommend you speak to someone once a week while you're on hiatus in Austin." 

"It's a deal. Thanks Dr. Mack"

"My pleasure Jared."

Chapter Text

Jared roused himself the next day and arrived at the makeup trailer at his 5 am call time. They filmed the second to last episode of season one over the next 8 days. Jared was very matter of fact all week.  He looked down a lot and said little between takes and scenes. The director noticed Jared was reserved, but his work did not suffer. His scenes were emotional, adding depth to Sam’s character.

After takes, Jared would walk off the set, sit in his cast chair and play Solitaire or Words with Friends on his phone, keeping to himself. By this time, Jensen was accustomed to Jared’s sociability, and could not help but notice that Jared was not socializing with him, and made little to no eye contact with him outside their scenes. Candidly, Jensen felt hurt. He knew there must be an issue, but he was clueless as to what it could be, however, he was resolved to get to the bottom of it.  

Jensen approached Jared as he was leaning against the Impala engaged with his phone, and stood in front of him, “You’re quiet this week.”

“You’re very observant” Jared replied, not so nicely without looking up.

“Is something the matter, Jared? Are you mad at me?”

“Maybe”

“Do you want to talk about it? I mean I won’t press you if you’re not comfortable. But I can tell something is bothering you. You’re not making eye contact with me unless we’re in a scene together.”

“You said I sweat a lot on national television.” Jared blurted out while looking directly into Jensen’s eyes. “It hurt my feelings, and I felt embarrassed.” Tears started streaming down Jared’s face on both sides, like waterworks.

“Oh God. I’m an idiot.” Jensen’s heart rose to his throat creating an aching lump. His mouth went dry. He couldn’t swallow. He looked into Jared’s face. It pained him to see Jared crying because of him. He took a deep breath “I’m sorry Jared. I was remiss. I should have used the opportunity to compliment you. I made a mistake, please forgive me.”

With all the crying Jensen felt inclined to hug Jared, but he didn’t think that would be manly. So he moved to stand next to Jared, and he put his right arm around Jared’s shoulders, and pulled him in.

This was an unexpectedly positive outcome! thought Jared. He has his arm around me!  

Jared mellowed immediately at the feel of Jensen's arm around him. They touched a lot on set, because of the scenes' choreography, but pretty rarely touched off set.

Jensen was immediately forgiven in Jared's mind and heart. That was never really in question. 

“I forgive you Jensen. What hurts is that I hoped you had a higher opinion of me.”

“Jared, I am so fortunate to be working with you. You’re so talented. You're so generous to me with your kindness and friendship.  Your enthusiasm lifts me up. I look forward to coming to the set every day. I smile when I see your face, and you know I’m not a big smiler!" Jensen said trying to inject a little lightness and humor. "I’m so grateful for you, and I was wrong to say anything not consistent with that.” 

“I want you to like me,” Jared replied.

Another knife to the gut. Jensen’s eyes bulged open. He felt a rush of tears behind his own eyes, which he held back. It moved Jensen deeply that Jared was showing so much vulnerability to him. 

“You don’t think I like you? Oh my God, I am an idiot. It can’t be possible that I caused you to think I don’t like you. That is the opposite of how I feel. You’re like a best friend to me, Jared. I like you, a lot. I say so many great things about you all the time to all my friends and family. They tease me for talking about you so much. I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings Jared. It was the last thing in the world I would ever want to do. Seriously, I was an ass.”

Jared managed a little smile at that. After all it was kind of funny that Jensen called himself an ass, and he was genuinely sorry. 

"You talk about me to your family? What do you say about me?"

"I tell them about our experiences each day. How your pants split and you thought it was hilarious. All the times you crack me up on set and I have to control myself to stop laughing. How much you love eating candy! How tall you are. How good looking and photogenic you are. How great your hair is. What a fantastic actor you are and how you surprise me by your acting choices in a lot of scenes. How hard you work and how prepared you are. How smart and well read you are. How articulate and talkative you are."

Jared was definitely softening upon hearing all these compliments. And he was equally enjoying the fact that as Jensen spoke, he unconsciously rubbed Jared's upper arm with the hand attached to the arm he had wrapped around Jared's shoulders. Jared liked feeling the weight of Jensen's arm around him. He liked pretending that he was Jensen's, and that was why Jensen had his arm around him. He liked the coverage, the feeling of being protected by Jensen through this gesture. And also he liked the way his slack left arm was touching Jensen's side. I could stay right here forever, he thought.    

They stood together leaning on the Impala having their moment, Jared looked down, but hid a secret grin, tears dry.  Neither spoke for a while. They just leaned against the car silently. Jared’s breathing eventually evened out and started feeling better.

Jensen stayed by Jared's side with his arm around Jared as long as Jared needed him to. Jared was such and emotional creature. The words Jensen used to verbally affirm Jared him went a long way with Jared. But it was the physical love Jensen bestowed on Jared with his touch that enabled Jared to intuit that Jensen did sincerely care for him. 

"Want to head back to our trailers now?" Jared proposed, because if he stayed there any longer he risked laying his head on Jensen's shoulder and he was sure that would totally freak Jensen out. 

"Friends?" Jensen wanted confirmation. 

"Friends" Jared replied. 

They slowly walked back to their trailers.

"Well, Goodnight Jensen."

"Goodnight Jared. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." 

They retired to their own trailers.

Chapter Text

 

Jared’s testosterone caught up with his height during the hiatus between Seasons 1 and 2 in San Antonio, Texas.

He continued to see a therapist in Texas and they worked on Jared’s self-esteem. The mantra, “I’m in charge” worked for Jared. Instead of lamenting his hurt feelings or ruminating on his perceived flaws, Jared decided to take control of his internal dialogue. He replaced the negative self-talk with a new, self-affirming internal dialogue.

With the support of his brother Jeff, the doctor, a good therapist, a personal trainer, and a nutritionist, Jared put together a plan for physical fitness, mental health, and personal well-being.

“Empowerment starts in the muscles” according to Men’s Fitness Magazine, so Jared swapped some of his candy consumption for more protein like chicken, steak, fish, pork, nuts, peanut butter and protein shakes. He didn’t have to watch his carbs since he had a metabolism that burned calories like a furnace. He loaded up on sweet potatoes, brown rice, and other healthy carbs. He made sure to get enough fiber in the form of fruits and vegetables, as well as fats like avocado.

Jared hit the gym to work out with weights three days a week. He did yoga one day a week for flexibility. A long muscle is a strong muscle, his trainer said. On the other days Jared did 45 minutes of cardio plus abs.    

Over the hiatus, from March 23rd to July 23rd, Jared gained 30 pounds of pure muscle. His shoulders and back got huge, as did his arms and biceps. He gained definition all over. His legs beefed up, his quadriceps, hamstrings and calves were all well-defined, and his abs and butt turned to steel.

Jared’s self-esteem soared as his body felt stronger, bigger, and more attractive. He sauntered around happily. Resulting from his new nutritional program and frequent exercise, Jared felt energized. He loved the affirmation he got from onlookers when he went out. He got a lot of eyeball love. And he felt in the mood for love. The exercise was making him downright frisky. His personal trainer and doctor assured him that an increased sex drive was a common side effect, a very positive one, of a new exercise routine, improved health, and the healthy diet was also a contributor to those feelings.  

Jared was thankful to Dr. Mack for starting him off on the right foot in Vancouver. He communicated his progress to her during the hiatus, texting her photos of the new Jared with the caption “First love yourself.”

Jared relished shopping for a new sexy wardrobe consisting of tight V neck T-shirts that showed off his mountainous pectoral muscles, his bulging biceps, his nipples, and his flat as a board stomach. He liked soft colors like light grey, pale lilac, faded blue, sage green, and also navy and black for drama. These shades complimented his chestnut hair color, as everyone called it, brown with red undertones.

Deciding it was sexier, Jared let his hair grow in a bit and lost the bangs, too youthful and innocent, in favor of an edgier side part.  Remarkably, Jared was a bit of a late bloomer. At 22, he still had very boyish looks, but the extra weight and the new hairstyle helped him project an older, more masculine image.

Jared’s narrow waist drew the eye to his midsection. Sometimes his shirt rode up and onlookers could glimpse the flesh of his six pack abs. At times, if he was reaching overhead, or wearing a swimsuit, you could glimpse the V of his sculpted stomach that pointed downward toward his precious jewels. Yum.

Jared was a sight in his cowboy boots and denim jeans. He had a swagger like never before and he was workin’ it. He loved the newly found attention, and gave himself credit for the changes he made inside and out. He was lovin’ on himself and looking for someone to love on him.   

Meanwhile the show was renewed for Season 2. He received a text from Jensen with a huge thumbs up that exploded into fireworks when he tapped on it.

Jensen, oh Jensen, you don’t stand a chance of resisting me when I get back to Vancouver , Jared thought.  

He texted Jensen back a thumbs up emoji. He decided to go with understated. He was expanding his style. It was so much more alluring that way, he thought.

Jared missed Jensen but he thought it best to branch out. His infatuation with Jensen was unlikely to be requited. Jared was gay and Jensen was not. Jared like all humans, especially healthy 22-year-old males, needed love and physical affection, and sex! He knew he was sexy by all the looks he was getting, and he was heartily enjoying it. It was time to get a little love.

His therapist in Texas concurred that Jared should not put all his eggs in one basket pining away for Jensen, a man who was a known heterosexual. It could only benefit Jared to get more experience dating. Plus, sex could be healthy and fun as long as everyone was up front about their expectations.

Jared found that gay men tended to be transaction oriented, liked to have sex now, and get to know each other later, if ever. He learned that in the gay community, sex did not necessarily mean the person was looking for a relationship. Sometimes they were just filling urges, and seeking a physical release. Gay guys could be pretty slutty he found. Jared decided to try out his new body on the Texas population.

Jared, Taylor, and Dennis, his gay buddies from high school, (they were all in the closet in high school, but out to each other), planned to go to a gay bar in Austin called The Color Bar, a not so subtle reference to the rainbow flag. They were good at being wing men for each other, which they had been doing since high school.

Jared found there were plenty of places to meet gay men in Austin, but you had to be cruising basically all the time, in the park, in the bookstore, in the coffee shop, in the gym, in the department store. It would start with a look, as a person was wiping his brow of sweat for example, or looking up from his phone while waiting for his latte. Then eye contact would follow. If it was held for several seconds, that was the signal of interest. Then a guy had to approach the other on the spot to meet. That was the convention.

It was an hour and a half drive from San Antonio to Austin, so they planned to stay overnight at the Hilton downtown. After checking into their hotel, they got some dinner together at a hip restaurant in downtown Austin with a lively social scene. Then, they eagerly proceeded to The Color Bar.    

Jared was largely unrecognized among the gay 20 something demographic in Texas, which was helpful in keeping things less complicated at this stage of his career.

As handsome as Jared was, he didn’t even need a face since his 6’4” killer body seemed to be more than enough to attract ample attention in the bar. Of course, his smiling face with the deep dimples and shiny white teeth was the piece de resistance. He attracted suitors like honey attracted bees. He was swarmed, and enjoyed every glorious minute of it.

Jared dressed simply in blue jeans and a V neck t shirt that was somewhere between the color of grey and lilac. He had on a thick brown belt with a Texas belt buckle, and of course cowboy boots, which made him even taller. His chestnut hair, a little long just over his ears, shone, and he carried those white teeth and dimples around everywhere slaying everyone who looked in his direction.  

Leslie sat at the bar sipping his bourbon, and occasionally glanced at Jared and smiled flirtatiously. Leslie was a tad older, Jared would guess about 30, with fair skin and blue eyes, soft pretty features, and silky blond hair. His build was lean and muscular, 6 feet tall, athletic, narrow waist, solid, like a soccer player.

Leslie wore his hair parted on the side, and slightly long. Most people would cut it at his length, but he liked carrying that extra two inches.  It was sexy the way he kept moving it out of his eyes. His silky, blond hair was one of his prettiest features, messy and sexy.

Leslie had a great body, Jared noticed when Leslie got up to use the men’s room. He wore faded, light-wash blue jeans complimented by cowboy boots, and a sea blue t-shirt that brought out his blue eyes and blond hair.

Jared played pool with his buddies and some other guys who they met at the bar. When Jared bent over the table to make his shots, he prompted more than a few guys to check out his ass, which Jared was proud to display tonight. He was feelin’ the love.

A parade of men hit on Jared, crowding around him all night, buying him drinks, trying to get close to him, trying to touch him and proposition him.

Some guys were pretty forward, Jared laughed to himself, sex is pretty easy to get, he thought.

He knew the gay culture was pretty promiscuous but he wasn’t. He was up for some fun tonight but he wanted to avoid the sleaze factor. He wanted to meet someone more like him, not quite as young and inexperienced, maybe a little older and somewhat experienced, but not a slut.

Leslie sat at the bar on a stool. He had his share of suitors, but his eyes were locked on Jared. All night they exchanged glances across the room. When Jared’s eyes locked with Leslie’s and held them, it was on.

When Leslie finished his drink, he approached Jared who had the pool stick in his hand.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Sure”

“Meet me out back in 5?”

“Okay”

Jared went out to the parking lot, and grinned when he saw Leslie sitting on a motorcycle in a black leather jacket, and holding an extra helmet in his hand.  

“Extra helmet?”

“I like to be prepared. Hop on”

“I’m here with friends. We are staying at the downtown Hilton just visiting for the weekend. We can go to my hotel.”

“Or you can come to my place.”

“Hmmm…”

“Tell you what, here’s my card…give it to your buddies. Tell them you’re going home with me. That should make you feel safe.”

“Okay. Be right back”

Jared took the card and went inside to give it to his buddies. He read it first:

Leslie King, Creative Director
King & Stone Digital Media
One Metro Plaza, Suite 1401
Austin, Texas
Tel. 512-819-6835
Email: Leslie@KingStoneDM.com


That should work Jared thought.

Taylor and Dennis were supportive. They took the card and wished Jared good luck. They were pursuing their own hook ups successfully. Jared would Uber back to the hotel presumably later or in the morning. He promised to text his friends to let them know he was safe if he stayed out all night.

The motorcycle ride through Austin at night was exhilarating. The city lights shined and twinkled. Jared enjoyed the hot night air blowing in his face. He loved the feeling of having his arms wrapped around Leslie’s waist, holding on during the ride. He allowed his chest to be flush with Leslie’s back the whole way. Jared never felt so alive. He hadn’t felt this excited in as long as he could remember. He was having fun!

Leslie pulled the bike into the garage at his downtown Loft. Jared got off first, allowing Leslie the space to dismount from the bike, and remove his helmet. Jared also removed his. Jared beamed a smile at Leslie.

“That was fun! Wow!”

 “I love the way you were holding me the whole ride home.” Leslie said and took his right hand and moved Jared’s hair behind his right ear. Jared got a shiver from Leslie’s fingers grazing on his neck.

“C’mon, Let’s go inside”

“Lead the way”

Leslie’s loft was super cool. It was tri-level and ultra-modern. It was an old canning factory that fell into disuse until it was bought by a real estate developer and converted into loft condominiums.

They entered through the garage to a lower level that housed a room, which Leslie used as a home office, with a spare bathroom.

They climbed a flight of stairs that seemed to be floating in midair. The handrail was matte, black iron, and panes of glass flanked the staircase adding to the open look. 

Leslie switched on a light with a dimmer and turned on his wireless speaker playing café jazz music.

“What are you drinking?” Leslie asked as he walked over to a built-in wet bar.

”I’ll have what you’re having”

“That would be bourbon”

“Alright then”

The loft was open, there was really no separation between the rooms, but it was very spacious, modern and had a very cool vibe. There was weathered wood on the walls, and there were industrial features like large exposed HVAC pipes up high near the 17 foot high ceiling. 

 

 

The rich wood floors added warmth to the modern loft. Leslie decorated the walls with striking abstract art in bright colors, and covered the floors in lush area rugs in neutral shades for texture and warmth.

The kitchen, just beyond the living room was sleek and modern with grey high gloss cabinets, silver hardware, stainless steel appliances, and a marble counter top.

 

The sofa was mid-century modern in a deep blue tufted velvet, that was plush and generously sized.

The coffee table was a giant rectangle featuring steel legs and a white marble top. Leslie had good taste, and an excellent sense of style.

Leslie poured the golden-brown nectar into the rocks glasses and dropped in a glacial ice cube in each glass. It was an elegant touch. It melted slowly in the glass keeping the beverage ice cold and not diluting the drink.

“Have a seat” he pointed to the sofa.

They sat on the sofa in front of a fireplace.

“No need to turn that on tonight” said Jared, his heart beating fast with excitement.

“Yeah you’re all the heat I need tonight,” Leslie smiled, and placed a hand on Jared’s knee. To Jared, Leslie's hand felt like a sizzling hot iron. 

Jared smiled. His energy level went from a 7 to an 11 on a scale of 10 since Leslie's hand was on his upper leg.  

“So, Leslie, that’s an interesting name. Is there a story behind it?” With his index finger, Jared delicately stroked each finger of Leslie's hand that rested on Jared's leg. 

“It’s a somewhat common boy’s name in Scotland, Ireland and in the UK. It was my uncle’s name too, my mother’s brother. We’re Scottish, Irish and English. Why don’t you tell me about you……”

“…..Oh, Jared, my name is Jared.”

“Jared. You know my last name; I gave you my card,” Leslie smiled, teasing a little at Jared’s nervousness.

“Of course, Padelecki, I’m Jared Padelecki.”

“You’re very cute Jared Padelecki. It’s the dimples when you smile, the white teeth, the boyish charm.”

“Cute? That’s not the look I’m going for lately.”

“No? What are you going for?”

“Well I’ve been bulking up at the gym, I’m trying to lose the boyishness, to transform into man-ish-ness.”

“Ha” Leslie chuckled, “It’s ironic coming from a guy your size”

“I know. I have a youthfulness in my face and personality, but I’m working on my gravitas.”

“Oh, your gravitas" answered Leslie, kindly mocking Jared for his surprising vocabulary. "I prefer levity myself,” Leslie said grinning. “Sounds like there’s more to the story. Has someone told you that you lack gravitas?"

“No, I arrived at it on my own. I've been reflecting more these past few months and making changes in myself that are helping me to be more confident, to change my body in a way that supports my confidence and self love, and to move confidently in the direction of my goals and dreams."

"well it's definitely working, you are sounding quite serious at this moment." 

"Sorry, didn't mean to bring down the mood." Jared paused and changed topic. “So your card said you’re in digital media?”

“Don't be sorry. I appreciate your sharing. I know it's personal stuff." Leslie squeezed Jared's knee to show support. "Yes, I’m in digital media. I'm a partner in an agency. Been at this a while. We have the Nieman Marcus account, and others, mostly fashion. Keeps me busy. Pays some bills.”

“No kidding. This is a nice place you’ve got. Neiman Marcus, they’ve gotta have a pretty big ad budget.”

“They spend millions every year on digital media. I’m a creative director so I create content, video, photos, graphics, I’m the visual guy.”

“I can tell you have an eye for aesthetics from your beautiful home. You must be very talented at your job.”

“Thank you. And you Jared, I’m guessing  you’re a recent college grad?”

“No, I planned on going to college. I had good grades in high school, my Mom is a teacher, but I decided to pursue an acting career. So far, it has worked out. I’ve had steady work since high school.”

“Well Jared, with your stunning looks, you’re bound to be successful. You must be talented if you’ve worked steadily since high school. I imagine it’s pretty competitive to get acting jobs.”

“Thanks. Yeah, it’s nerve racking when I’m between jobs. It’s a pretty insecure feeling. Right now, I’m on a new series. We just finished filming the first season in Vancouver, and I'm on a three month break. We've been renewed for a 2nd season, so we are all thrilled."

"Can I watch it on TV now?"

"It aired from September to May. So usually they release the full season on DVD in September."

"So your job is in Vancouver?"

"Yes, it's on the WB network and they film most of their shows in Vancouver, Canada."

"And how are you liking that?"

"I like it. Vancouver is an awesome city, mountains, parks, sea, snow. I miss my family and friends. That's the downside, but in this business, I'm really happy to have a steady job."

"Living away from home 9 months of the year is not for the faint of heart I imagine?"

"No, and we work long days, 100 hour weeks. Watching the show is not for the faint of heart either. It's a sci-fi slash horror genre TV show. The main characters, 2 brothers, hunt supernatural phenomena, like ghosts and spirits, and kill them. It can get violent and gory, lots of blood."  

Leslie chuckled, "Two young, very good-looking brothers, no doubt! That's exciting Jared."

Leslie looked in Jared’s eyes, and moved stray locks of hair behind Jared's ear, then outlined Jared’s ear with his finger, and traced his finger down Jared’s neck, along his clavicle bone, to his Adam’s apple, up to his chin and to his lips. He traced Jared’s lips, lower and upper with his finger.  

Jared, warmed by the touching and attention, took Leslie’s hand from his lips, and pulled him in.

Leslie met Jared’s lips, and they kissed gently. Jared closed his eyes and felt the sensation of Leslie's lips on his. The kiss was exhilarating. At once he felt his heart jump, his body warm, and his spirit ignite.

Jared reclined on the couch making room for Leslie to lay alongside him on the wide, luxurious sofa. They kissed and pecked at each other’s lips, staring into each other’s eyes, and smiling shyly.

Jared nosed Leslie’s neck, inhaling deeply, taking in Leslie’s subtle scent of designer cologne. He licked Leslie’s neck and nibbled, and worked his way to Leslie’s ear lobe, nibbling it, pulling it with his lips, sucking it, and breathing into Leslie’s ear.

“Ah”, Leslie shivered, “That feels good.”

He turned his lips to meet Jared’s and they kissed more deeply.

Leslie opened his mouth and met Jared’s open mouth, and their tongues met and explored each other’s mouths.

Leslie wanted to feel Jared’s body, unable to resist his arms. He rubbed his hands over Jared’s arms while they kissed, feeling Jared’s large biceps.   

Jared in turn, eagerly rubbed his hands over Leslie’s back and shoulders, and then put his hands under Leslie’s shirt, surveying Leslie’s back with his large, firm palms.

Leslie took it as permission to put his hand up Jared’s shirt, over his stomach, firm and taut, and onto his giant pectoral muscles. Finding his nipples, Leslie rubbed over them with open palms feeling the whole of Jared’s chest.

Laying side by side on the sofa, kissing passionately, feeling each other’s chest and back, it wasn’t long before their bodies were flush against each other. They found themselves pressing their hips together looking for contact.

“Jared” Leslie said breathlessly.

“Yes?"

“Would you like to go upstairs to the bedroom? You might be more comfortable?”

“Yes.”

 

Chapter Text

They climbed another flight to get to the loft’s bedroom. Leslie led Jared upstairs by his hand.

“Get comfortable Jared, take off your boots.”

Downtown  Austin looked spectacular from the third story of Leslie’s loft. The lights of the city illuminated the night sky, and Jared felt a rush of excitement to be a part of it.

Jared sat on a grey upholstered ottoman and removed his boots and socks, smiling at the decor that was Leslie's designer bedroom. The walls were exposed brick on one side, and wood plank on the opposing wall, that brought in an element of nature to the room..The windows stretched from floor to ceiling revealing the expansive sky beyond the windows. Leslie's giant bed sat on a cushioned platform of grey upholstery.  The sheets were white and the blankets were grey, and the night tables were lack.  

"I like your bedroom, very Nieman Marcus, metro chic!."

"Thank you"

Leslie proceeded to turn on some soft, background music, and some dim, romantic lighting.  

“You like jazz” Jared noted by Leslie’s music selection.

"Love jazz"

Leslie sat on the edge of the bed removing his own boots and socks.

Jared approached the bed where Leslie was sitting and stood in front of him.

Leslie stood. “I’ve been dying to see what’s under this t-shirt all night,” and lifted Jared’s t-shirt over his head. Jared put his arms up  to help, revealing his massive upper body.

Leslie surveyed Jared’s chest and arms with his hands, and placed kisses on Jared’s huge shoulders.

“My God,” Leslie breathed “you are beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Jared whispered shyly, and feeling happily affirmed.

“My turn,” Jared said pulling off Leslie's t-shirt.

Jared took in the view of Leslie’s upper body. He was solid and lean without all the bulk. Jared polled Leslie's arms and chest with his hands, then moved them over Leslie's back, and pulling Leslie in toward him. 

They stood by the bed hungrily kissing, enjoying the touch of each others bare chest. As they kissed and felt each other's warmth, their breathing hastened, became shallow; their hands moved more urgently, cheating lower, down over each other's ass; and soon they were a tangle of heat, panting, arms and hands seeking.

Locked in a kiss, Jared took his open palm and rubbed it over Leslie’s bulge. Jared's other hand went to Leslie’s ass, and began squeezing his cheeks through his jeans.

Leslie continued investigating Jared's chest, biceps, back and shoulders. Upon Jared's touch to his manhood, Leslie's breathing quit and re-started. His knees weakened. 

Jared pushed Leslie onto his back on the bed, and climbed over him, lowering himself over Leslie's hips.  

Leslie rubbed his hand over the swell in Jared's jeans, prompting a deep moan from Jared; and Jared pressed himself hard into Leslie's open palm.

Jared pinned Leslie's wrists over his head on the bed, and ground his pelvis hard against Leslie's while scraping his teeth along Leslie's neck. 

Freeing his hands, Leslie unbuttoned Jared's jeans, unzipped his fly, and reached his hands down into Jared's boxer shorts, releasing Jared’s impressive cock from its constriction.  Jared helped Leslie push Jared's jeans and boxers down and off, and Jared willingly spread his knees apart, at Leslie's nudging so Leslie could easily access  Jared’s balls. Balls in one hand, cock in the other, Leslie smoothed his hand over Jared from top to bottom, relishing his size, his shape, his heat, his texture, his beauty. 

Jared moaned, and his body quaked at Leslie’s long awaited touch. He bucked his hips up into Leslie's grip. 

Leslie regarded Jared's face, body and phallus, finding him exquisite. 

Jared sucked at Leslie’s neck and jutted his hips forward into Leslie’s grip eagerly.

Jared reached down into Leslie's jeans and freed him grabbing his cock in his sizable hand. 

"Pull these down," he told Leslie, helping him pull off his jeans and boxers. 

Jared pushed apart Leslie's knees so he could have better access to Leslie's cock so he could pump it. 

"Lube" Leslie said reaching for the nightstand.

He poured some into his palm, and returned his two handed grip to Jared’s beautiful, long, hard cock, and pumped his closed hands up and down over Jared’s comely length, celebrating his head with each and every stroke. Leslie squeezed some lube onto his own cock that Jared was gripping since Jared was too dreamily distracted to take the bottle.

As they pumped each other’s lubed cocks, they fell into a simultaneous rhythm. Leslie mirrored Jared’s pressure and speed interpreting Jared's movements as a proxy for what Jared desired from Leslie.

Jared bucked his hips hard into Leslie’s hands, once, twice, three times, and then his body seized, and he emitted a labored cry. Jared looked so hot when he climaxed, and sounded even hotter. 

Leslie took his fist and pumped himself hard to his own release, shooting cum into the air, onto Jared, on both their chests and stomachs.

Leslie lay stomach to stomach with Jared, their sticky cum coating their stomachs, their chests heaving up and down from the exertion, and they lay there until their breaths became even, and fell asleep.

***

A few hours later, Leslie was awakened by a very horny Jared, grinding against him, and kissing his shoulder.

"Jared?" Leslie asked groggily but sweetly.

"Leslie," Jared climbed on top of him and began kissing him and grinding against his leg.

"I cant sleep next to you if your naked and I'm naked. It's too exciting. It's been so long for me," he said as he aggressively kissed Leslie's neck and ear. 

Leslie was surprised at Jared’s appetite, and attributed it to his extreme youth, hormones, and level of physical fitness. There wasn’t really a question, Leslie observed, Jared was intent. I guess we're doing this.

"Okay baby," Leslie responded nurturingly. "Kneel facing me"

Jared did.

Leslie knelt facing Jared, their cocks touching.

Leslie picked up the lube and squeezed some into his hand and then circled his hand around Jared's aroused member. 

"Uuuhhh" Jared exhaled in happy torment as Leslie touched him. 

"How about I join our cocks together like this?" Leslie spoke breathily into Jared's ear and licked his neck and he gripped both cocks within his lubed hands, and began stroking them.

Jared placed his hands on Leslie's shoulders for support, and tilted his head back indulgently while Leslie powered away stroking and pumping their cocks, slippery with lube. 

While Jared was transported by physical pleasure, Leslie moved one hand to stimulate Jared by playing with his balls, and used his mouth to suck on Jared’s nipples. 

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, just like that" Jared rocked his hips up to meet Leslie's down strokes. 

Leslie knew to continue just as he was doing but just added the slightest increase in speed and pressure. The stimulation was almost too much for Jared to bear. Jared clutched his hefty hand around both their cocks, over Leslie's hand and powerfully yanked, and pressed, building a fury of desire until a final, "Oh yeah" spilled from Jared’s mouth. His head fell back, untethered, and cum shot from his cock. Jared shuddered, and Leslie found his release seconds later brought over the edge by the sight and sound of Jared cumming.

They lay next to each other, Leslie spooning Jared, a light sheet over them, and they fell back into slumber. 

***

Leslie awoke in the morning, and grinned as he gazed down at Jared sleeping like a baby, more like comatose. Oh youth, he thought. Leslie was used to getting up early. May as well make breakfast.

Jared joined Leslie in the kitchen about a half an hour later, and was greeted with homemade buttered biscuits - it was Texas after all - dark brewed coffee, and fresh OJ. 

"I was about to scramble some eggs, you game?" offered Leslie.

"Damn right! I’m starving." 

"Should be after your workout last night." Leslie commented smiling. 

Jared blushed, grinning widely, eating a biscuit. 

They ate their breakfast. Jared was talkative, relaxed, smiling. Leslie was feeling good too, happy. He noted he should make Jared a larger portion next time. 

After breakfast, Leslie stood by Jared and ran his fingers through Jared's lush hair, held him by the nape of his neck, and kissed him.

"Shower?" Leslie suggested.

"Definitely!"

Of course, Leslie, a gay art director, had a great shower, Jared observed. 

More than large enough for 2 men their size, it featured a huge rainfall shower head, and three shower heads on the wall propelling streams of water on them, plus a handheld shower head. 

The rainfall shower head soaked Jared’s long hair, and he pushed it off his face as Leslie drenched himself under multiple streaming jets.

Leslie met Jared’s mouth in a kiss. His  slick, soapy hands traveled down Jared’s muscular back, and down to his ass cheeks, gripping them, and squeezing them while nuzzling Jared's neck, and sucking on his skin.

Jared's hands firmly caressed Leslie's back, moving urgently down to his ass, and gripped it hard.

Their breaths were fast and urgent. Jared squeezed Leslie in a passionate hug, then turned him around swiftly, and leaned Leslie against the tile wall. Jared grabbed his own dick with his soapy hand, and stroked it a few times, getting himself super hard. He slid himself between  Leslie’s butt cheeks, not penetrating him, just sliding his cock up and down the cleavage of Leslie’s ass.

He soaped Leslie's crack, and tickled and held Leslie's ball sack. He kept gently sliding his cock up and down Leslie's butt crack, which Leslie really seemed to be enjoying judging by the fact that he was leaning all his weight against the tile wall, resting his head on his fore arm, his legs spread wide for Jared. 

Jared stood behind Leslie, his chest against Leslie's back, and reaching around he stroked Leslie's cock using his right hand, lightly and loosely to start. Leslie melted like butter into Jared’s slick hand. His legs weakened, causing him to lean further against the tile wall for support.

Leslie turned to face Jared, his arms around Jared's neck. 

Jared leaned Leslie's back against the tile wall. He stimulated Leslie's balls with a soapy left hand, and worked Leslie’s cock with his massive right hand, arm muscles straining. He moved his left hand from Leslie's balls, to Leslie's ass. He began stroking Leslie's beautiful crack with his soapy finger. When he slipped his middle finger up Leslie’s hole, Leslie came in Jared’s hand, fell forward onto Jared's chest, his heart beating hard, his breath releasing a loud clamor, his chest heaving for air.

He sucked on Jared’s mouth as if for oxygen, his body weight leaning onto Jared; and Jared finished himself off coming on Leslie’s stomach, as the warm water washed over them, washing their hot, white cum down their trembling bodies.

They stood for a few moments holding each other up, and shared some tender kisses, both out of breath from their violent orgasms, until they were ready to get out of the shower and dry off.

"Can we just lay together for a while?" Jared asked.

It was Sunday, and they did just have shower sex, so a little basking in afterglow seemed appropriate. 

Jared dozed off for an hour holding Leslie tightly.

Leslie was in and out of sleep, stroking Jared's hair affectionately. 
***

Jared and Leslie kissed sweetly when Leslie dropped off Jared at the downtown Hilton. Taylor and Dennis were waiting at the hotel to drive back to San Antonio with Jared. Jared gave Leslie his contact info. Jared didn’t want to wait a whole week to see Leslie again, so they agreed to go out to dinner Wednesday night in Austin. Jared would drive in from San Antonio in his own vehicle, and bring an overnight bag so he could stay as long as they liked.  

Chapter Text

"How would you describe him?" Leslie’s two friends, David and Jordan asked at lunch on Monday.

"Jared is absolutely splendid" Leslie replied.  

"We want details", said Jordan.

"Don’t be crass."

"We’re gay remember? It’s our job, to be crass. Now spill," said David.

"Well he’s young and sweet, but also, very, uh well, he’s 6’4”, so young but kind of giant."

"Ooh girl is he giant everywhere?" Jordan asked.

"You’re a pig and I'm not going to answer that."

"Okay well give us something," David pleaded. 

"Well okay, but I'm not describing his exquisite body, but I will tell you about his personality and how I experienced him."

"Okay bitch, and a little bit about the sex," added Jordan.

"We fooled around, but we did not have full on sex, so get your head out of the gutter."

"Oh so tell us about his personality…yawn," said David.

"Jared has a gigantic persona. He is more than a serving; he’s a full course meal."

"Ooh honey," injected Jordan.

"Don’t interrupt this is getting good," added David.

"He’s like a fucking planet. He’s like uncorking a bottle of champagne. He’s all life force. He’s fucking irresistible."

"My God!" David opined while chomping on a carrot stick.

"Wow! Bring me a fan," Jordan fake fanned himself with his napkin.

 __________

 

"So Jared, how are you feeling this week?"

"Awesome Dr. Howell."

"Awesome! That’s great to hear Jared! You look fantastic. So tell me what has got you feeling awesome?"

"I met someone!"

"Ah, do tell!"

"Well, we kinda picked each other up at a gay bar in Austin."

"Go on"

"Well I went with my gay buddies from high school. You know, we’re each other’s wing men. And I was really enjoying myself, playing pool and getting hit on all night. It was very affirming!"

"Go on…."

"And this guy was sitting at the bar, and you know we did the eyeball thing, looking over at each other all night, and then we locked eyes, we went home together to his place."

"I don’t have to give you a safety lecture do I Jared?"

"No, he gave me his card. I gave it to my buddies, I was specifically looking for someone a little more respectable, no bad boys. And my instincts were right because it turned out he owns his own digital media company with a partner, and their big client is Nieman Marcus. So, he’s your basic respectable citizen."

"Successful even," added Dr. H.

"Yeah and he’s hot."

"Oh hot to boot!" 

"Yeah, he has an athletic build like a soccer player, not a football player, you know, leaner, lighter. He has blond hair and blue eyes, and his name is Leslie."

"Leslie"

"Yeah, it’s Scottish."

"Well Jared this is exciting news."

"Yeah, and he’s 30, so a little older and more mature, and more experienced than I am, but I like it. And he’s nice. You know, he’s not an alpha. He’s considerate."

"Well that’s really good to hear Jared. Do you plan to see him again?"

"Yes. I’m going to Austin to meet him for dinner at a restaurant on Wednesday night. Gonna pack my overnight bag."

"Okay, so you two have been intimate?"

"Well, we have shared some intimacy, touching, but we didn’t have intercourse, or even oral, we just kept it to touching, but it was pretty hot."

"Hot is good! And this Wednesday, have you thought about what you want to do from a physical standpoint?"

"I want to take it further. I like him, he is sexy, he is tuned in to my preference to take it slowly, he was letting me set the pace. I mean I’m 22, he’s 30. He was sensitive to that, not exploiting me only for his pleasure."

"Sounds good so far. Please practice safe sex Jared."

"We will use condoms. I want to do more with him. I feel safe with him. I want to take it further."

"Okay. Let’s talk about it a little more. Have you thought about how your job in Canada might affect the relationship?"

"I just want to have fun. It’s summer. I feel great. I’m happy with my body. I’m not in my room alone at night pining away for Jensen Ackles and feeling depressed."

"Yes, you are looking good, feeling good, and enjoying Leslie’s companionship. Have you told Leslie you go back to Canada on July 23?"

"Yes, I told him. I will get to be with him for my birthday July 19th. I’m looking forward to that."

"And Canada, what does Leslie have to say about that?"

"Nothing really. I told him my love language was verbal affirmation, and he told me his was quality time, so there's that. But it’s too soon to even discuss it. I just want to have fun. I’m so tired of responsibility."

"Fun is good to have Jared, important to have fun. Yeah, the quality time thing could be a challenge with you living in Canada. I would like to discuss you being a gay man and having fun in public in Austin."

"Why?"

"Jared, you chose me in part because I am a gay therapist. My job is to prepare you. I want it to be your decision when you come out. By discussing this we can avoid any inadvertent reckless behavior that might get us outed by a third party."

"By us you mean me. Leslie is not going to out me and I am not being reckless."

"You are not being reckless, of course not. I didn’t say you were. I'm only saying if you dine out in Austin, have a few drinks, hold hands, then all of a sudden, a fan is there with a cell phone, and next thing you know you're on TMZ!"

"Well I’m definitely not ready to come out because of my acting career. I play hetero. Hollywood wants hetero leading men."

"So how do you feel about living as a hetero male?"

"I mean, I’m repressing my sexuality, and hiding who I am."

"Yes, you are"

"This conversation is a downer. Why do we have to go through this now? Why are you tormenting me by bringing this up today?"

"I know, I'm sorry Jared. What's the saying you young people are using? Sorry not sorry! That's it! It's not that I don't have compassion for you Jared. However, this is the place where we face our problems so that when we are doing life, we don’t fall into the ditch. It’s called preparing. Plus you're paying me. This is where we workout, like at the gym, but our mental health muscles."

Jared grimaced.

"The day you missed shooting on set. You were sad, down. Tell me again why."

"Jensen said I sweat a lot to a TV reporter, and it hurt my feelings."

"Right, I recall. Is there another layer possibly?"

"You mean I’m gay and hot for him, and he doesn’t know my secret, so I got depressed."

"Precisely. Tell me, why were you keeping this secret?"

"From Hollywood?"

"No, I know why you’re keeping it secret from Hollywood. Why from Jensen?"

"Fear of rejection?"

"Yes, along those lines, any other reason you can think of? Maybe the same reason you kept it from people you loved who were closer to you, like your Father?"

"You mean embarrassment?"

"Another word, more internal, stronger."

"Because I felt ashamed?"

"Precisely. And when we feel shame, we feel unlovable."

"Unlovable. Okay now I feel like there's a dresser on my chest."

"Have you experienced feeling shame and unlovable?"

"Fucking Yes, Dammit! I'm so fucking mad right now!" Jared stood up and paced a lap around the couch.

"Tell me more" 

"Yes, I have experienced shame and feeling unlovable." Jared clenched his fists and looked up to the heavens. "It has been a problem, my main problem, depression stemming from feelings of being unlovable. Feeling like I disappointed my parents. Feeling like my peers in high school rejected me. Depression from feeling lonely and unloved. Needing to take medication for depression." 

"We are making progress Jared. We are getting to the root of the problem Jared. Let’s define the problem so we can do some analysis and improve the situation.  These are the steps. I am taking you through them. Stick with me." 

"Okay, my problem is that I'm gay; I'm hiding it; I'm in love with my straight co-star. So what, am I doomed to be depressed?"

"No, you're not doomed to be depressed if you share your secrets.  What happens when we hide ourselves from our loved ones?"

"What?"

"We are as sick as our secrets. We tell the secret, we release the shame. We can feel lovable. We can receive love."

"I’m not following. You said I don’t have to tell the world my sexuality."

"That is correct. Let’s consider the people you love. Take Jensen. If Jensen is straight, and you could never have a romance with him, what are our possible scenarios?"

"Well one is status quo." Jared answered. "I keep my sexuality hidden, suppress myself, keep my secret, feel ashamed and unloved and become depressed on set." 

"And how's that been working for ya?" asked the Doc.  

"Obviously it's not an option."

"Okay Jared give me an alternate scenario."

"I tell Jensen that I’m gay. By sharing my secret, I release my shame, and can now feel lovable. And then Jensen loves me back, said Jared." 

"Brilliant and close. You get liberated by releasing the secret with the shame. You get the benefit of being able to receive love."

"Yeah, and what does Jensen do?"

"Ah well, there’s the rub?"

"What’s the fucking rub Shakespeare? Why does there have to be a rub?" Jared asked petulantly. 

"We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves. You tell me, how could Jensen respond?"

"Well he could say me too, I’m gay and I'm hot for you, and we could live happily ever after."

"Is that likely? asked Dr. H.

"He could say I'm not gay, but I like you and want to be friends with you. That's likely, I think" Jared offered. 

"And any other scenarios?" asked Dr Howell. 

"He could say you’re a fucking freak, and I'm a homophobe. Stay far away from me!"

"You pretty much nailed the possible scenarios," Dr Howell told Jared. 

"I didn’t want to work this hard today. I did not want to go there," Jared complained.

"Jared, the work we are doing here is important. You are gaining the tools you need to navigate life more successfully. Bear with me another minute."

"There's more? What now?"

"About Jensen and you"

"What?"

"You say you love Jensen."

"Yeah"

 "I experience you as a big-hearted person, and a pretty nice guy."

"Thanks," Jared answered grimly. 

"Well I’m thinking, if you like Jensen he must be a pretty nice guy too."

"He’s a great guy. He’s caring. It's just that he might be a bit homophobic. I mean he was raised in Texas."

"So it’s risky."

"A little risky," Jared replied.

"A risk worth taking?"

"I think so."

"Why do you say that?"

"I think Jensen cares about me, to the point that even if he is homophobic, maybe he would still be willing to have me as a friend. I mean, in all honesty, he’s already gotten to know me and like me."

"Well that’s perfect Jared. I like to hear your reasoning. You will risk your heart, which is what we do when we are in love. But you are taking a calculated risk. And you have good judgement."

"Thanks," Jared said but feeling dejected and deflated from when he arrived in the office.

"I don’t like to say I'm proud of you Jared because it sounds condescending. But I will say I'm proud ON you. It means I confer pride on you. I hope you feel deserving of it, and confer it on yourself. You did some hard, great work here today. And remember what I always say,

“hard work pays off” they said aloud at the same time.

Jared chuckled. "What about Leslie?"

"What about him?" asked the doc. 

"What am I supposed to do about him? We talked about Jensen most of the session."

"Well you’re going to go out and have fun with Leslie just as you planned. But be aware of whether you can grow to have real love with Leslie, or if he is a band-aid. I hope it is the former. You also have the long-distance relationship thing to deal with. But it’s still a good thing. Experiencing love and safe sex with Leslie, trying out a new relationship, going out on a limb for love for Leslie, for Jensen, for safe people, who care about our feelings, people you can express your emotions with safely, that is what makes life worth living. Heartbreak is real Jared. But it's bittersweet. Not all bitter. It’s beautiful in its own way."

"See you next week, Jared?"

"Yeah, yeah…I don’t always like these session, but I know they help me, a lot, and I appreciate it."

"You’re welcome Jared. I'm proud ON you. You’re doing great. Keep up the good work!" 

 _____

"Hey Jeff" Jared greeted his brother, and took a seat in the booth across from him at Benjamin's Steakhouse. 

"Hey Jared"

"Thanks for meeting me for dinner."

"Of course, I love having you around bro. I wish I could have you all year round. The kids love having you home. And so do I"

"I saw my gay therapist today," Jared shared as he buttered himself a dinner roll. 

"Yeah how did it go?"

"Well kinda brutal. We talked about having secrets, like being gay, and being as sick as your secrets because you’re ashamed. But by telling your secrets, you can begin to feel lovable. Whereas, if you feel shame you don’t feel lovable, and you can't receive love from others. It was all pretty heavy, and all the stuff I struggle with."

"Sounds like you talked about some big issues there. Was there a resolution? Or did you just stir a lot of stuff up?"

"We stirred the shit basically."

"But did you discuss this all in the abstract?" asked Jeff.

"What do you mean? I'm not following," replied Jared.

"Well, I mean surely we don’t have to broadcast our secrets. What was the context? Is there someone you want to be out to, to receive love from, and you are hindered because you're keeping your sexuality a secret?"

"I mean... I guess... well kinda...." Jared hemmed.

"…..avoiding much?"

"Well I met a guy, and went into therapy really gung-ho and pumped up, but Dr. H saw through it. He saw I was happy, but in a temporal way."

"So????and???"

"So, and, well, Jensen....." Jared paused.

"Jensen….Ackles? Jeff inquired.

"Yeah Ackles"

"What about Jensen Ackles?"

"Well I'm kinda, sorta, well you know, in love with him." Jared released a deep breath and looked down at the table, unable to look Jeff in the eyes. 

Boom, yikes geez, Jeff thought to himself, eyes widened. "Any chance he’s keeping the same secret?" Jeff asked.

"Nah."

"I mean so what is the therapist proposing? A witch’s spell, eye of newt, leg of frog?"

"No, of course not. He says that in a scenario where I keep my sexuality a secret, I risk my self-esteem and mental health, because I carry the shame, and the feelings of being unlovable. But if I share my secret with Jensen, I can likely receive human love, brotherly love, platonic love from Jensen, true acceptance, and it won’t be harmful to my mental health."

"Well it’s a lot to think about Jared."

"Yeah, good thing I don’t have to decide today."

"Good thing. You can take your time and reflect on it."

"It's good advice in general. I’m glad I learned about it today. Essentially, not to keep secrets from the people you love and want to receive love from."

"You know I love ya to pieces Jared"

"I know. I love you too. I'm so lucky to have you as my brother."

"Thank you Jared. How about we order some steaks now? I’m starving."

"Good idea, I'm hungry too."

Chapter Text

Jared drove his Ford F-250 truck to Austin enjoying the ride in the summer weather. He  shook his head in time with the beats of Florida Georgia Line sometimes singing along loudly. He felt so free behind the wheel of his vehicle. It felt like flying. In this moment he did not have a care in the world, and what was more, he looked forward to the future, the immediate future with Leslie, and the near future in Vancouver with his Supernatural family. He felt hope and optimism. He thanked God for this beautiful day and all his blessings, his health, his truck, Texas, Leslie, his job, Jensen, his family and the dogs…..

The plan was to drop off his overnight bag at Leslie’s loft, and then Leslie would take them out to dinner on the motorcycle to a restaurant/bar with outdoor space so they could have the option of eating outside.

“Hi Babe,” Leslie kissed Jared on the lips to greet him. Jared wanted another, and they kissed a few times for a few minutes, and Jared eagerly placed his big hands on Leslie’s chest, feeling up his pecs while kissing him hello. 

“Mmmm” Jared released a deep breath unconsciously.

“You get me so excited,” Leslie said grinning. “Come in.”

They dropped Jared’s things in Leslie’s bedroom, and were on their way to experience dinner and nightlife, albeit on a school night, at least for Leslie, in Austin.

Jared loved Ernesto’s, the restaurant Leslie picked. They entered a large open space where all the sliding glass doors opened to the outside. The bar was modern and sleek, the wood, a medium shade of maple finished in a high gloss. Everywhere you looked there was glass, or gleaming maple colored wood. The ceilings were soaring, and the DJ beat filled the air. The Texas summer air filled everyone’s lungs with happy, and the sun’s rays still gleamed outside. Beautiful people sipped cocktails in martini glasses and wore chic clothes.

“What a scene” Jared observed excitedly.

“Come this way,” spoken ever so gently. Leslie led Jared to the bar.

Leslie looked and smelled good. Tonight, he was wearing a Fratello dress shirt in cornflower purple. Jared could see the cuffs and collar underside were the same shade of purple and white plaid. He recognized it as designer.

The French blue, aka cornflower, was a purple blue, and striking with Leslie’s soft blond hair and blue eyes. Leslie paired the shirt with summer weight light grey dress slacks, which fit his ass exquisitely, and black Gucci loafers. He looked nothing like the denim and leather cowboy Jared picked up in the gay bar.

Though Jared was casual, in faded light wash jeans, cowboy boots, and a navy V-neck T-shirt, he was sexy, his main accessory being his fucking gorgeous body.

“What can I order you to drink Jared?”

Jared felt eyes on him, checking him out, sizing him up, and checking out Leslie too. Aggressive eyes met his and he got encouraging nods along with the looks. He couldn’t help but smile while being looked over in that way. He felt at once embarrassed and affirmed. He giggled aloud.

“Jesus Leslie, this place is, wow…we’re like fresh meat in a shark feeding frenzy.”

“It’s your body Jared, and your stature. And your hair, and your face, and your youth, and your beauty. You’re a looker. But I know heteros can be worse than gays. These women are savages. You don’t like it?”

“I do, I do like it. I don’t think I would be in show biz if I didn’t like the attention, getting up performing in front of a crowd. But I feel kind of naked here, no script, costume, make up, just Jared.”

“You naked is a good thing.”

“Thank you” Jared spoke softly like a prayer with a shy, reddening face.

“Jared that shy boyishness you’ve got going it makes me want to attack you. I feel like a predator.”

“And I’m the prey?”

“Willing prey I hope because I have a theory that I would not come out on top if I tried to overpower you.”

“I might let you win, but I’d make you fight for it.”

“Anything worth having is worth fighting for,” Leslie added provocatively.

“You think I’m worth fighting for?”

“Yes, Jared, you are worthy.”

Jared beamed. He was proud to be out in Austin with Leslie. “It feels good to be out in the city” Jared scanned the room. “This is a real beautiful people crowd.”

“You fit right in,” Leslie leaned in stopping short of a kiss.

“Thank you. Thank you for inviting me, showing me around Austin.”

“My pleasure Jared. Here I ordered us two of the house special cocktails. It’s called a Machete: Tequila, fresh lime juice, fresh orange juice, orange liqueur, muddled mint, simple syrup, lots of ice.”

“Delicious”

“Would you like to dine outside, inside, or eat at the bar?”

“I like it in here, but when we’re ready, eating outside would be nice.”

The energy of peoples’ conversations bolstered by cocktails, pounding musical beats, and tanned skin showing on scantily clothed people made the landscape seem ripe and delicious.

“This place is just sexy,” Jared said.

“Sexy, new, and hot. It has the largest outdoor dining patio in Austin. It’s only been open since June.”

“Leslie!”

“Hey, Ernesto! This is my friend Jared.”

“Jared this is Ernesto, he is the majority owner of this restaurant.”

“Jared, pleased to meet you,” Ernesto said, extending a hand to shake.

“You have a fantastic place here. I love the space, soaring ceilings, lots of glass, openness to the outside. Its breathtaking.”

“Thank you, Jared. I hope you’ll taste our food. We have an executive chef who trained in Europe, California and south of the border. He brings a lot of creativity to the cuisine. Of course, we have some traditional plates for our Texas die-hards.”

“Of course, we plan to eat dinner, Jared glanced toward Leslie.

“We’ll be dining outside tonight Ernesto.”

“I will take care of it,” replied Ernesto. “Just tell AnnMarie when you’re ready to be seated. And Jared, it is a pleasure to meet you. Please enjoy your dinner with us.”

“Thank you,” Jared said extending his hand again in a goodbye handshake. Jared turned to Leslie, “I didn’t realize I was with a celebrity.”

“I handle their social media. He’s pleased.”

“I should say so…Look at this crowd. I love that you’re so successful, and recognized as an expert in your field. It’s such a turn on! I feel like kissing you and roaming my hands all over your chest right now. You’re so talented.”

“Thank you, I enjoy my work.” Leslie leaned close to Jared without actually touching him.  “Just hold on to that excitement. You will get a chance to kiss and touch me later, back at the loft.”

Seated at a table outside that offered some privacy, Leslie was able to place his hand on Jared’s knee under the table occasionally during dinner. Jared reciprocated too.

Across from Leslie, in the lowering sunlight, and throughout their dinner, Jared visually appreciated the contours of Leslie’s muscular physique showing through the thin fabric of his summer-weight, designer clothes.

 

“You look sexy in those designer clothes” Jared offered.

“Thank you, Jared. Nieman Marcus. It’s good for business, plus I get a discount because I’m an influencer,” air quotes around influencer.   

“Oh, do you have a lot of Instagram followers?”

“Cute, not quite as many of you…not in the 7 figures, but yes, I do have followers in the fashion and hospitality industries.”  

“You know I have a million followers on Instagram?”

“Apparently, you have quite a presence on YouTube. I might be your newest STAN.”

“What’s a Stan?”

“Oh, you never heard that expression? It’s a contraction of Stalker and Fan.”

“I take that as a huge compliment”

“That is exactly how it was intended.”

Jared squeezed Leslie’s knee under the table.

“Wow, that’s sexy, a successful man in the digital media business. Sounds like something I would be proud to tell my folks.”

“Jared, I could just suck your lips off your face right now for saying that.”

“I’m looking forward to that later, lots of sucking,” Jared grinned naughtily.

The dinner was on the house.

Back at the loft, they stopped in the kitchen for waters and made their way upstairs to the bedroom. Leslie wanted to make sure Jared was comfortable.

On Jared’s “side” of the bed he found a medium sized duffel bag in navy canvas with his name JARED embroidered on the side in white thread. He walked over to it and unzipped it and starting taking out its contents.

“Oh my God, presents.”  

It contained goodies selected just for him, small sized bottles of designer soaps and lotions, small sized toiletries like shampoo and conditioner, body lotion, a razor, shaving cream, facial moisturizer, sunscreen, a toothbrush, toothpaste, mini packets of Advil, Tums, condoms, a small bottle of KY lubricant, a mini mouthwash, Verbena scented soap and after shave, Q-tips, cotton balls, witch hazel, alcohol wipes, dental floss, a packet of tissues, deodorant, a comb, 2 bottled waters, a Swiss dark chocolate bar, Twizzlers, a small bag of smoked almonds, a Kind bar, a mini bag of pretzels, and an apple. 

Leslie stood in the doorway of the bathroom in his pajama bottoms and a clean white V-neck undershirt brushing his teeth and looking on while Jared opened his goodie bag. He smiled to see the delight on Jared’s face.

“That was so sweet of you. Thank you. I get to keep the bag?” Jared approached Leslie putting his arms around Leslie’s neck.

“It has your name on it, so yeah.”

Jared tried kissing Leslie.

“Wait a sec, I’m brushing my teeth, hang on.” Leslie went to the sink and rinsed his mouth, drying his mouth on a towel.

“God you’re so thoughtful,” Jared replaced his arms around Leslie’s broad hunky shoulders, kissing his cheek and lips while looking into his eyes.

“You’re my guest I want you to feel really welcome and pampered.” Leslie told Jared smiling. “I emptied the dresser on your side of the bed. You can put any stuff in there you want.”

Rather than small nightstands, Leslie had small dressers on either side of the bed with three drawers, and a generous surface area on top. He found them much more useful than little night tables that never had enough space for a lamp, books, water, tissues, a clock, and all the other things he liked to have by his bedside.

Jared proceeded to the bedside dresser and emptied his clothes into the drawers, placing his shoes under his side of the bed.

This is “my side?”

“Yes, that’s your side.”

“I have a side”, Jared walked around to Leslie’s side of the bed, he sort of skipped really, and he enthusiastically wrapped his long arms around Leslie, squeezing him tightly, and burrowing his face in Leslie’s neck, taking a deep inhale through his nose. Leslie always smelled so good, both his natural smell and the subtle cologne he wore. Jared looked up at Leslie and kissed him on the lips. “I like dating an older rich guy.”

“Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah,” Leslie let out a roaring laugh hearing himself referred to as old and rich.

“I don’t know if I’m either old or rich, but I guess I’m older than you, and I might call myself established, comfortable, doing okay, I’m not sure rich is the right word.”

“I just love the way you’re taking care of me, providing nice things for me, and being so thoughtful of me. It’s a new experience for me. I never dated anyone mature before, only guys my own age, immature guys. You’re turning me onto to new things, restaurants, the scene in Austin, design, good taste.”

“Jared, thank you. I have no doubt you will surpass me in the wealth by age 30. I hope to bring you enjoyment and turn you on to new things in the time we have to spend together.”

“Yeah, I know it’s a bit if a ticking clock, isn’t it.”

“Canada? Yes it is. What’s the exact date?”

“July 23rd. The 19th is my birthday. I was hoping we could spend it together.”

“Absolutely. I would be honored. I turned 30 on June 26th. I’m a cancer too.” Leslie placed his hand on Jared’s right shoulder, slid it down his arm, and placed a kiss on Jared’s lips.”

“Happy Birthday,” Jared kissed Leslie.

Leslie enjoyed Jared’s large hands touching him over his thin t shirt and pajamas. He hardened.

Leslie stood making out with Jared, which caused the temperature of Leslie’s body to rise. He loved feeling Jared’s body becoming warmer against his,  and hearing Jared’s breaths become faster. Talkative Jared was now focused on connecting his lips with Leslie’s, and his hands roamed all over Leslie’s body. He loved the firm coverage of Jared’s strong hands, and the heat they transmitted to his body.

They kissed on the mouth, their tongues together. Leslie pulled Jared’s t-shirt off over his head, throwing it on the floor.

Next he placed his palm over Jared’s dick and rubbed lightly to awaken the serpent…..oh already wide awake….He opened Jared’s belt, unbuttoned his jeans, and unzipped his fly.

Leslie put his hand inside Jared’s boxers allowing Jared’s substantial cock to spring out. As he pulled down Jared’s jeans, he lowered himself onto his knees to breathe the scent of Jared’s manhood. He took his balls in both hands. He rubbed Jared’s cock against his cheek, feeling its warmth and texture. He rubbed his nose on Jared’s shaft smelling his smell, and he kissed Jared’s head, tasting a tiny drop of Jared’s love juice on his tip.

Taking his time, Leslie rubbed Jared’s shaft against his face loving the feeling of his hot meat stick against his skin. And he couldn’t get enough of Jared’s scent. He liked the searing hot feel of Jared’s dick on his skin, and rubbed him against his ear and neck, and rubbed the head over his closed eyes.

Slowly, Leslie rose again to kiss Jared on the lips while he palmed his dick. He wanted Jared’s face and mouth, and to see his expression while he held Jared’s cock, and to look at his face hearing his breaths hasten, feeling his mouth seeking roughly and eagerly, and watching the excitement rise in Jared’s chest as his heart beat sped up.

Unable to control his desire, Jared’s hands wandered to Leslie’s ass, squeezing. He found Leslie’s dick through pajamas with his open palm.

Jared pushed them toward the bed, and unceremoniously pulled Leslie’s pajama bottoms off and threw them on the floor. Then he kissed Leslie’s belly button and lifted Leslie's t-shirt off over his head, tossing it to the floor. Jared flattened his body over Leslie’s on the bed and kissed his mouth hard.

Leslie positioned himself more comfortably on the bed, Jared staying close over Leslie, feeling Leslie’s cock, rubbing it with his hand,

Leslie passionately kissing Jared back, also rubbing Jared’s cock.

“Oh” it was less of a word than a noise, “I need you,” Jared said.

Leslie flipped Jared over so Jared was on the bottom and Leslie was on top. He kissed Jared on the mouth, then started his journey down Jared’s body, the chest, the ribs, the stomach, the belly button, the sharp hip bones. He licked the long muscles that formed an arrow pointing down to Jared’s beautiful jewels. He used one finger to stroke the line of Jared’s hair that trailed from his belly button to his beckoning manhood.

Jared’s tensed as Leslie traveled lower down his body especially when he got to Jared’s stomach, belly button, and below. Jared’s head went from thrown back while taking a deep breath, to looking down at Leslie as he made his way down Jared’s anterior, stopping to lick and kiss every muscle on the way.

As Leslie neared Jared’s cock, Jared groaned with anticipation and desire. His long, erect cock, engorged with red blood, furiously waited, until finally Leslie took Jared’s cock into his mouth. He closed his mouth around Jared’s head, gently at first, wetting Jared’s head with his tongue, and feeling the sensation of Jared’s hot mushroom top in his mouth. Jared was considerable in size and filled Leslie’s mouth substantially.

The heat from Jared’s cock was delightful on Leslie’s tongue. He closed his eyes to experience the sensation, the heat, the size, the shape, the texture. He loved his nose so close to Jared’s skin and body hair. He loved inhaling his scent and burying his nose in Jared’s leg crease. Leslie took Jared deep into his throat, sucking him all the way down in a tight suction grip.

Jared lay on the bed, eyes closed palms facing down on the bed next to him, bracing himself, immobilized by Leslie deep throating him. As Leslie pulled up and placed his grip around the lower part of Jared’s cock, while keeping Jared’s head sucked firmly in his mouth, Jared’s giant body writhed wildly under Leslie. He bucked his hips up off the bed. His hands sought Leslie’s head. Aware never to push Leslie’s head down, Jared used his fingertips to massage Leslie’s scalp vigorously and an outlet for his building excitement, and Jared wiggled his toes so as not to explode.

Leslie’s saliva juiced up Jared’s cock. He took his mouth off momentarily to slide his hand over Jared’s head, getting his other hand slick with saliva so he could palm and fondle Jared’s balls. Then he replaced Jared into his mouth, pumping his shaft, and sucking his head, and now fondling his balls.

“I won’t last long like this,” Jared managed to eek out.

“Oh my god, I’m close,” Jared warned.

Leslie sucked Jared hard, pumped his cock vigorously, and fondled Jared’s dripping wet balls with his left hand.

“Leslie”

“Come baby”

With that, Jared exploded into his orgasm, his body writhing left and right and left again. All the while Leslie watched Jared’s angelic face as he came. Leslie continued to suck and guide Jared through his spasms until Jared was completely finished.

“uh…..uh…..uh…..” was all Jared could manage, eyes closed, lying flat on his back on the bed, as if glued there.

Jared was spent. Leslie lay next to him, staring at Jared’s placid face, eyes closed, breathing still faster and deeper than normal. His breathing starting to recover from its peak. Leslie placed a soft kiss on Jared’s cheek.

Jared felt Leslie lying on his side to his left. Not really able to move yet, Jared reached his right hand across his body and rested it on Leslie’s left arm, wanting to touch him and feel him near.

Leslie smiled. God spent extra time crafting you, Leslie thought.  Though turned on, Leslie preferred to let Jared relax and enjoy the full effects of his post orgasmic bliss. He knew Jared would awaken him during the night for round 2, especially if they were both sleeping naked.

Chapter Text

Jensen strummed away at his guitar singing Sweet Home Alabama with “Band of Fools” as they called themselves at the Fat Cat Club in downtown Dallas. He was on stage singing his heart out and playing his guitar with his buddies. Life was good!

“And that’s a set, Ladies and Gents. We’ll will be on a short break and back in 15 minutes. Y'all remember to take good care of your waiters, waitresses and and bartenders!”

“Hi-ya Jensen, brought cha a beer,” Katie the cocktail waitress said as soon as Jensen descended the few steps from the stage.

“Thanks Katie, that hits the spot. It’s awful hot under those lights tonight.”

“Dallas summuh temperatures sho don’t help mattahs. S’crowded too. They’re here to hear you Jennie” Katie drawled.

“Aw Katie, you’re a doll. I’m gonna use the bathroom in the manager’s office and cool off in the air conditioning in there during the break sweetie.”

“A’right Jennie, see ya lat-uh then.”

Jensen entered the ice-cold manager’s office and felt the cold air hit his steaming, hot skin. He swore he could see steam rising off his body. He felt sweaty, hot, wet and uncomfortable, but he was doing what he loved. He would rather not be anywhere but here.   

Since getting the word that Supernatural was picked up for a 2nd season, Jensen was psyched. It’s was 9 month season, with 22 episodes, a paycheck for almost a full calendar year. Jensen was stoked. Plus, the show seemed to be getting traction with fans, and the role was fun to play. Aside from being away from his friends and family in Texas, there was little downside. Vancouver could get cold in the winter months, but it was a worthwhile trade off Jensen thought.

Jensen felt lucky that he and Jared were cast in the leading roles. Jen believed they had pretty good on screen chemistry, and viewers seemed to like them, especially girls. They were getting positive reviews from critics too, for what it was, it didn’t aspire to be Jean Paul Sartre; and the young male demographic liked the show too. 

Summer could not have been more fun! Jensen played in the band every weekend and some weeknights with his buddies. During the day, they took the jet skis and speedboat out on the lake. Nights brought barbecues, buddies and beers.

Of course, having Jensen’s pick of girls was a definite perk of being on Supernatural. He’d been on prior shows, and his name and face were getting more recognizable, so he always had a girlfriend when he wanted one.

He wished he could meet someone in Vancouver though. The winters got pretty long up there, and he felt lonely at the peak of the cold weather season, when the days were shortest, and the darkness was longest, and they filmed 16 hours a day.

This year they were all getting apartments in a new high-rise luxury building that was supposed to be finished last year, but wasn’t. Instead they lived in super luxe trailers, but it would be much better this year.  

A new, luxury, residential apartment building was constructed by a large developer and the network was taking a block of apartments for the cast and crew. They were supposed to have them the prior year, but the construction was behind schedule. There would be a pool, gym, outdoor grills and other amenities. It would be much better if Jensen wanted to have visitors from home. He looked forward to the new living arrangements.

Last winter, he wished there could be a warm body waiting for him some nights when he got back to the trailer.

He realized he didn’t have much to offer, that his scheduled sucked for any partner. Still, if he could have had a warm body to hold as he slipped into bed at night, it would have comforted him, and helped him get through the long days. He remembered last winter when he felt lonely at times. He longed to have someone to come home to, a warm embrace, a smile, a companion, a lover, a confidante. Jared was the closest companion Jensen had in Vancouver. He wondered how Jared’s summer was going. He was surprised they hadn’t been in touch more. Soon, he thought. It's just a few more weeks.

Jensen sat in the over sized leather desk chair behind the manager’s desk, cooling off when Katie walked in, locking the door behind her.

“Jensen” she spoke in the most breathy southern voice.

She approached him, slotting herself between his legs in front of his chair, her ass seated on the desk. She leaned forward exposing her cleavage,

“C’mere handsome.”

“Wipe off your lipstick.” She did so using a cocktail napkin from her small drink tray.

She wiped her lips on a napkin smearing the red lipstick on it, and turned to find Jensen’s lips meeting hers. She took his hand in hers and placed it over her breast, over the skimpy, low cut waitress uniform that pushed her tits up and left little to the imagination. She leaned back on the desk spreading her legs to Jensen, exposing her inner thighs, barely hidden by a tiny mini skirt, and her warm, moist strip of hotness concealed only by a small strip of fabric of her panties. 

"Come hither darlin."

Jensen hooked his arms under her legs, lifting her hips off the desk. He pressed his nose to her center sniffing her heat through her panties. He stuck his nose in her hole through her panties. he licked her clit from outside her panties, pressing his tongue flat against her clit and wagging it side to side. He used his chin to apply pressure to her clit, stroking her up and down through her panties.

“You creaming your panties for me honey?”

“There is a fire down below Jensen that needs you to put it out.”

“No time baby”

“We can have a quickie”

 “I don’t think I have any protection.”

“Yeah you do in your wallet.”

“Maybe I do,” checking he found one pre-lubricated condom.

She wasted no time unzipping and unbelting him, getting his cock out, pulling off her panties, laying herself back on the desk, ass hanging off, legs spread apart, head back.

“I want your hot mouth for a minute,” Jensen sat back on the desk chair. Katie fell to her knees taking Jensen’s cock in her mouth, slicking him up, and sucking him to an iron hard on.

“Oh yeah, suck it baby,” he ordered, holding a fist full of her wild blond curls. “Get up. I want to fuck you now.”

She hopped back up on the desk, legs spread and knees bent, ass hanging off, waiting for Jensen’s cock.

He rolled on the pre-lubricated condom, and took his dick to her fiery entry where she waited, hot, wet, her pulse beating like a drum in her hot canal, pulsing, throbbing, summoning Jensen's hot cock. She leaned her head back waiting to feel his steel rod push through her warm, wet flesh.

“C’mon Jennie,” she begged. Katie hoped he would be rough, even hurt her a little so she would come really hard.

He took his cock and probed her opening teasing her, but not entering. He slid his shaft up over her clit rubbing her. She was so warmed up that she could take him rubbing his dick hard against her clit.

“You’re so fucking wet on my fingers baby”

She rutted her clit down on his shaft trying to jerk herself off on his cock like a dog in heat.

He probed her hole and rubbed his shaft over her clit, over and over.

“Fuck me now Jensen”

“No I’m gonna tease you, not going inside you till I rub my cock against you 100 times…”

“You fucking cocktease”

“Ha,” he laughed, enjoying the tease, and her pleading.

“twenty one, twenty two,” and he slammed his cock inside her.  Through the condom he could feel her volcanic heat and her inner walls pressing around him in a conspiracy to squeeze out his beautiful seed.    

“Oh you fucker!”

“I’m fucking you baby.”

“Jensen, you're so dirty….fuck me.”

“That’s right honey, you like me dirty because you’re a bad girl aren’t you?

Ung” he grunted with exertion as he pushed inside her, “you like it rough baby?”

He pulled out, “turn over baby” he smacked her ass.

He flipped her over by her hips and lay her face down on the desk. He took his dick in his hand and drilled it into her from behind. 

He fucked her slamming his cock inside her, one hand on her hip and one hand flat on her back, holding her down over the desk.

“Yeah you like how I fuck you, don't you baby" Jensen taunted.

Katie lived for Jensen’s cock. She loved it from behind. She rubbed her clit as he went deep inside her.

"Fuck me Jensen" she mumbled, touching herself, and feeling the ecstasy of Jensen's cock hitting her in all the right places. 

He had a good angle and could go deep and pull out most of the way, and go deep again, past the tightest part of her canal, one third of the way in, her tight muscles squeezed his head with each thrust.

“Sit on my cock baby,” Jensen said with urgency.

He pulled her down on top of him, facing him on the chair, his hot cock poking her as she slid down on top of him, engulfing him in her tight muscular chamber.

"Ugh girl you feel so good."  He used his strong arms to help her bounce up and down on his cock, while he grabbed her by the hips, operating her. He placed one hand on her tit and squeezed it, and he kissed her roughly on her mouth, teeth pressing on her lips, crushing her lips.

Then, he pressed the pad of his right thumb against her clit as she bobbed up and down on his cock.

"Jensen."

“That’s right baby come for me.”

She fell apart on him, going loose, unable to sit up straight. He supported her back with one hand.

He watched her face as she fell apart, and her fucking muscles clenched his cock, spasming around him like a pulsing grip, and

“Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum” he plunged into her hard while she continued to spasm around him, a few good final pumps and he was coming too, his face ethereal, his stomach clenched, his cock in spasms, shooting out white gold.

“Oh, oh, oh” he let it all out.

Chapter Text

 

 

 

Jared woke up sweating in the middle of the night. He wandered into the bathroom, peed, then turned on the shower faucet, closing the bathroom door to avoid waking up Leslie. Jared stepped into the cool shower, dousing himself to bring down his body temperature.

Leslie, heard the shower and got out of bed to investigate. 

“Jared?”

“Yeah”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I got really hot and felt sweaty, so I wanted to take a shower and cool myself off.”

“I can pump up the AC to 68. It’s at 70 now. 68 will make the loft nice and cold for you.”

68 is good. That’s what I set mine to at home. Once I start sweating, I don’t stop, so I needed to cool off in the shower.”

“Want company?”

“Always”

“It may defeat the purpose. I will just come in, rinse off and go back to bed. I promise I won’t get you overheated,” Leslie said stepping into the glass shower stall.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t count on me mauling you,” Jared said as he wrapped his mighty arms around Leslie from behind.

“Jared, you actually make me feel small, and that’s hard to do.”

Jared rubbed his soapy cock against Leslie’s fine, muscular ass, finding the cleft between his cheeks and riling himself up.

“Yeah, not cooling you off.”

“I’ve had a change of objective now that you’re in the shower with me. Oh my God, I love your naked body," Jared was rock hard in seconds flat.  

Jared took the bar of soap and started washing Leslie’s back getting it nice and soapy, taking his time. Then he moved down to Leslie’s ass, lathering his butt, his crack, his thighs, his inner thighs. Placing the soap down, Jared used his lathered hands to stroke Leslie’s cock from behind, and lather his balls while sliding his cock between Leslie's thighs.

“Keep your legs together” Jared told Leslie. Jared pumped his cock between Leslie’s soapy thighs. He placed a hand on Leslie’s hip, fucked into Leslie’s hard thighs.

“Let’s get out. I want you in bed,” Jared whispered in Leslie’s ear.

“While you dry off Jared, I’ll go lower the thermostat temperature.”

Jared, feeling cooler from the water, dried off and went to the bedroom. He pulled all the covers and pillows off the bed and threw them on the floor. He heard the air conditioner kick on.

Leslie returned from adjusting the thermostat.

“You got something against my sheets and blankets?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I don’t need any covers. Lay down on the bed on your side. get in the middle,” Jared said to Leslie.

Leslie lay naked on his side in the middle of the bed.

“What are you up to Jared?”

"Touch yourself for me"

Leslie bent his knees and let them fall open. He looked up at Jared, into his eyes, as he grabbed his cock, and began stroking himself. 

"Is that how you touch yourself when you're alone?

"Yes Jared, when I'm alone, and thinking of you"

Jared lay down on the bed next to Leslie, placing his face in Leslie’s crotch, and lining up his own crotch with Leslie’s mouth, in a 69 position.

“I want to taste you,” Jared said.

Jared faced Leslie’s crotch and put Leslie’s cock in his mouth for the first time.

Leslie dreamed of Jared taking him in his mouth, pictured it many times, but he never pressed Jared. He waited for Jared to lead the way because Jared was only 22. Leslie didn’t want to be pig-ish, pushing a young Jared to have tons of sex with a 30 year old before he was ready.

The reality of Jared’s mouth on Leslie’s cock, in Leslie’s bed, with Jared’s hair falling over his eyes, the feel of his hot mouth, his hot saliva, the movement of his tongue, the deepening of his coverage from head to shaft, the stimulation of his cock, the sensitive places, the head, under the head, it exceeded all expectation or fantasy. 

“Jared!” Leslie moaned.

Leslie reciprocated eagerly taking Jared’s cock in his mouth.

Jared waited until they were both sucking each other pretty hard. Then he took Leslie by the hips, rolled him on top of Jared, as Jared rolled onto his back.

He hoisted up Leslie's hips above his face, Leslie’s cock hanging down into Jared’s mouth at the perfect angle. He pressed Leslie’s hips up, as if bench pressing him, and lowered him down, his beautiful cock  entering Jared’s mouth, and he sucked hard. His biceps bulged and his stomach tensed displaying his strength and Greek God-like sculpted physique.

Leslie was like a cotton ball in Jared’s arms. Jared was that strong. He never was lifted like that by any man and doubted he would ever be again.

Jared lifted him like a plaything sucking his cock.

Leslie faced down into Jared’s crotch and took Jared’s impressive size in his mouth and between his two hands. He sucked and rubbed Jared’s beautiful cock.

The pleasure Jared was giving Leslie was so intense. He shivered as euphoric sensations traveled from the center of his body to his very toes and fingertips.

He sucked Jared harder and harder and squeezed his cock tightly. The more Jared sucked Leslie’s cock, the more intensely Leslie gripped Jared’s cock and sucked him harder. Leslie rested on his elbows, his hips in the air, his head bobbing over Jared’s beautiful engorged muscle.

Leslie never had anyone suck him so beautifully and forcefully, never had anyone lift him before, with such ease you would think his bones were made of air.

Jared pumped Leslie’s hips causing Leslie’s cock to dip in and out of his tightly suctioning mouth.

Leslie never experienced anything like it, he surrendered his body to Jared. His excitement was rapidly rising. As he got close to his climax, he squeezed Jared’s thigh very hard with one hand indicating to Jared that he was about to blow. Leslie sucked Jared hard with all his might to mirror Jared’s suction. He sucked and sucked and sucked and sucked.

“Oh Jared, I'm gonna come baby…Oh my God, baby, oh my God,”

Leslie’s hips squirmed. His whole body rippled as his orgasm gained strength like a twister, and tore through his body.

Jared held Leslie’s hips as Leslie squeezed Jared’s thigh two times to signal for him to stop sucking when he couldn’t take it anymore. At Leslie’s tapping, Jared felt Leslie’s body tense, and then completely release, as the white, hot, love juice spurted from Leslie’s cock. Beautiful, Jared thought.

And then Leslie surprised Jared with his super sucking, mouth grip, and he slid a sopping wet finger up Jared’s ass that arrested Jared's sucking, and Jared blew his load.

“Holy shiiiiiit” Jared moaned, pumping his cock and his hot jism into Leslie’s mouth.

The two of them spasmed into eternity. Leslie fell to Jared’s side, clinging to his rib cage.

No one moved for a while.

Jared’s body was like a hot volcano, but Leslie felt the cold AC blowing on him. They were wet and sticky. Leslie decided he wanted to get up, use the bathroom, and clean up. He returned to bed with a warm, wet washcloth, and they cleaned up a bit.

Laying alongside Jared Leslie confided, “Jared, no one’s ever done anything like that to me before. That was the greatest blow job of my life.”

Jared grinned, his face and body so relaxed, unburdened. He reached for Leslie.

They lay next to each other now, both with their heads at the head of the bed.

“Just a sheet” Leslie said as he pulled the sheet over them that Jared threw off earlier, “and a few pillows.”

Leslie gathered them from the floor at foot of the bed. He popped over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table.

Jared was practically asleep by the time Leslie placed a pillow under his head. He liked to sleep close, and pulled Leslie in so Leslie was the little spoon.

“There now, its 68 degrees in here you should sleep comfortably.”

69, Jared thought to himself, making a little mental pun, but he was too tired to speak.

Leslie kissed Jared’s forearm that was wrapped around him, and they went to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next morning over coffee, eggs, toast and OJ in Leslie's kitchen Jared said “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay another night.”

"Stay…as long as you like. It’s a school day for me…What will you do today while I’m working?"

"It’s Austin Texas, I can go shopping, work out, be a tourist."

"You’re welcome to stay as long as you like."

"I never want to go."

"Oh Canada," Leslie sang, smiling.

Jared kissed Leslie lovingly. He felt closer to Leslie now, after their night together. More connected. Their kiss felt more intimate. Jared breathed deeply after the kiss looking intently at Leslie’s blue blue eyes, beautiful eyes, so blue so rare.

"If it were not my company Jared I would call in sick, but I need to work today. I have deliverables that only I can edit and approve. How about we meet for dinner at 6?"

"Yes" Jared said standing leaning against Leslie, kissing him, moving his hair off his forehead, one arm around Leslie holding him near for body contact.

"Jared this could heat up real fast. There is nothing I would like more than to stay with you and take this into the shower right now, but I promise I will see you tonight for dinner and look forward to having you in my arms again tonight."

Jared had a rough time disconnecting himself from the pull of Leslie's body. "You're a cock magnet" Jared stayed on Leslie's lips, Jared's hands on Leslie's ass, his own heat grinding into Leslie, seeking Leslie’s neck with his nose and mouth and kissing up to his ear.

"Jared honey," Leslie gently pulled away looking in Jared's hazel eyes, "darling, you are so sweet and passionate."

Leslie stroked Jared’s hair off his forehead and swiped his thumb over Jared's cheekbone.

"Baby, I will see you at 6. I will text you the name of the restaurant. I'm so glad you're staying with me.  I want you here as long as you want to be. Okay?"

"Okay," Jared said reluctantly.

"C'mon now walk me to my car. No bike today I have meeting, need to take my car."

They walked to the garage. Of course Leslie drove a Porsche. It just suited him.

Designer clothes designer car. "It suits you" Jared said

They kissed one last time by the car.

"Here got something for you. You're gonna need it"

"What?"

"Spare Keys to the loft and a spare garage door opened. The garage door code is 52733. It spells Jared on the keypad, I reprogrammed it to make it easy for you to remember."

"That was sweet. I guess you're not worried I'm going to go all stalker on you?"

"No, not worried."

"Do you do this for all your boyfriends?"

"Are you my boyfriend now?"

"Yes"

"Good, and No, you're the first one to get the code or the keys, except relatives." 

"Thank you, I'm honored"

"See you at 6. I will text you the address. I’ll pick a place that I'm sure you will enjoy. Enough kisses I will never get out of here," Leslie jumped in his car and took off for the office.

Leslie drove off in his Porsche with the Austin sun gleaming in the sky feeling a little drunk in love, drunk on Jared, already looking forward to arranging dinner reservations, impatient to see Jared again after work, feeling the effect of that chemical glue released in the body after sex with a new lover, the glue that bonds, making one cling like adhesive to a new lover, making it painful to separate. That's why Leslie did not like to jump into bed with guys. He got attached.

Leslie was aware that dating Jared was not without risks. After all, Jared lived in Canada 9 months of the year. Leslie decided to push that down in his mind and be present to what was in front of him. Willful blindness, he thought to himself. He was well aware he could be left bereft when Jared returned to Canada, but decided to ignore it for now. Good move, he thought to himself in his sarcastic voice. 

Jared was special. He was sure that Jared was put on this earth for a special purpose. He had a special soul. He was so vulnerable and beautiful, a combination of physical strength and emotional fragility that was so alluring and impossible to resist. Jared didn't even realize how special he was. Leslie could see it because he was older. Leslie would not be the one to hold Jared back. Jared could fly, soar. Leslie wouldn't hinder Jared's dreams when the time came, and he was sure it would. 

***

At lunchtime Jordan and David met Leslie out on the plaza, at a table, under a large umbrella, surrounded by delis, food trucks, and the downtown Austin lunch crowd.

David and Jordan looked at Leslie expectantly.

Leslie looked at Jordan, looking at him, then looked at David, looking at him and sighed.

"Y'all are looking at me"

"Tru dat! You been holed up with that man o' yours. We're here for information. Now spill," Jordan pressed. 

Leslie breathed deeply and blew out through the mouth.

"Well he's special"

"Oh dear" from David. They just stared at Leslie's face.

"I think you got it bad," said Jordan

"Maybe…I'm definitely falling. I have feelings, and my stomach is fluttering thinking of him, seeing his image in my mind. God he's so well sexy for one thing, and exciting in general." 

"So he's sexy?" Jordan inquired

Yes, but don't get me wrong, we haven't even gone all the way."

"How can you be in love with a guy if you don't know how he fucks?"

"And there's the difference between you and me Jordan. I'm not going to detail my intimate moments with Jared, but I will say the intimacy is ... It's very powerful stuff to be intimate with Jared. He is real, unique, and open emotionally."

"I might puke" said David. "I think you're in love. Why do I sense danger?"

"You know why, he's only 22, he has a promising future in show business, and he lives in Canada 9 months a year filming a TV show." 

"I've looked him up on YouTube." Jordan interjected. "He’s cute, very cute, tall, lanky, lottsa hair, quite adorable."

"He could have a big future. I don’t want to hold him back with an attachment to me"

"But what are your feelings?" asked David

"I'm falling in love, I told you…I just think there's a risk here. He leaves July 23rd.   That's around the corner."

"Does he get vacations?" David inquired. 

"Yes, but we have not even discussed that, and do not I want a long distance relationship? Those never work out."

"Tru dat," said Jordan.

***

Jared spent the morning calling his mother, brother, sister and besties telling each in succession about Leslie, the creative director, who dressed in Armani, ran digital media marketing for Nieman’s, and was 6’ tall and 180 pounds of solid muscle, with silky blond hair and blue eyes, who was sexy, and had great taste in design, who knew all the hip restaurants, and was a great kisser, who lived in a great loft in Austin, and rode a cool motorcycle, and drove a Porsche and gave Jared a key to his loft and his garage door code.

Jared took a bath in Leslie's Jacuzzi tub and tried all Leslie’s soaps, shampoos, lotions, body products and scents, that smelled how Leslie smelled. He shaved with Leslie’s shaving cream and blow dried his hair out smooth since he was going on a date that night. He made himself at home in the bedroom, the kitchen, and the living room feeling like Leslie’s special person.

Later Jared drove his truck to Nieman’s where he asked to meet with the personal shopper. Jared explained to Gina that he was dining with Leslie that evening and needed a stylish outfit. Gina asked Jared all about himself, and was delighted to help him select an outfit.

"C’mon," she said. "We'll walk the floor, and you tell me when you see things that you like."

They went to men’s shirts first where Jared was attracted to blues, purples, pinks, periwinkles, sea blues, navy blues, and amethysts.

"What’s your shirt size?"

"Usually extra large. I have a 42 inch chest, so sometimes a large. But in a dress shirt I need tapered or slim cut because I have a narrow 32 inch waist, so a straight cut shirt is too baggy around my waist."

"Yes, designer, XL, tapered. Italian designers should fit you."

Gina pulled items form the hanging displays and sent them off with Minna, her assistant, to a private fitting room with her assistant.

"You know Jared we can offer you a 50%  discount if you let us photograph you in these clothes for our social media and digital advertising."

"Oh that would be so cool! Leslie handles your social media right?"

"Yes he does our digital media advertising, and he would get the photos."

"That would be a hoot"

"I am going to have our tailor Joseph, and our photographer, Alexander, meet us in the private fitting room when were ready to try on. Also we have a hair and a makeup professional to touch you up." 

"Awesome, but please don’t show Leslie the photos of me until tomorrow so I can surprise him tonight at dinner. I want him to see me in person in the clothes before he sees the photos."

"Absolutely, it will take us a day to get them over to Leslie anyway. Thank you Jared. This is so fun. You were born to model clothes with your tall stature and narrow waist. I cant wait to see some of these on you."

They walked the men's department, pulling items and sending them with Minna to the fitting room. Gina pulled some slacks. "Dress slacks give the butt a great look. If you have a great butt, nothing looks better than a light weight dress slack. It drapes the butt, and our tailor can fit you like a glove. It's very sexy. Jeans are fine, but they don’t really fit the butt the way a dress slacks do. Here are some white jeans that have a little stretch in them. They cup your butt pretty well. Let's try them on. To go with the white jeans, there is an orange dress shirt. It’s like your beautifully tanned skin, try it. "C’mon, shoe department, and belts….do you have a bit loafer?"

"A bit loafer?"

"A leather slip on Gucci or Ferragamo or Bali, with a little metal decoration on the front?"

"No, I think I noticed Leslie in a pair of Gucci loafers."

"Ok then I will grab the Ferragamos for you. Size?"

"Size 12, please no big hands and feet jokes, they get so old."

"I would never! I think we pulled enough for you for now. I have my assistant pulling socks, sunglasses, belts and accessories. C’mon, let's go to the fitting room."

"This is fun. I like shopping with your help. I put on some weight this summer, intentionally, and I can use some new clothes in my new size."

"Thank you Jared. It's fun for me too. Not all of my customers look as well as you in the clothes. You have a great body for modeling clothes." 

"Thank you"

"Alright Jared, you go into the fitting room and start trying things on, and come out when you have each outfit on. I grouped all the outfits together for you so you know which shirt goes with which pant and so on." 

Basically, Jared looked awesome in all of the clothes. He wanted all of them. Gina had such an eye. Every piece she pulled for him was fabulous. He liked the deeply jeweled, purple dress shirt with the charcoal dress slacks and the Ferragamo black bit loafer and Ferragamo black leather belt. The tailor, Joseph, started pinning the pant legs for length since most of the dress pants had an unfinished hem. 

They sent for a hair stylist from the store’s resident beauty salon and the makeup manager from the beauty department who touched up Jared’s hair and make up for the photos. When Jared'd hair and makeup were touched up, Alexander began photographing Jared in each outfit as he came out of the fitting room. Joseph concealed pins where necessary to perfect the fit of each garment, which would not show up in the photos. 

"Anything you decide to wear tonight we will tailor now. The rest we will send to Leslie's loft by tomorrow at 5 pm. Would that work for you? ?

"Yes, perfectly."

The next outfit was light tan summer weight slacks, with a light pink dress shirt, tan leather belt, and tan leather slip on Bally loafers.

"Oh Jared, be still my heart. Leslie is a dead man. You are stunning in that pink shirt, stunning."

"The tailor pinned Jared up and the photographer went to work using an adjacent dramatic staircase for background, as well as background drapes, a raised platform, a white background, even a green background."

“Leslie can change the background, so don’t be surprised if you’re in Rome in the photos when they come out” Alexander explained. 

"Cool"

Next Jared came out in the orange dress shirt and white jeans.

"That’s it Jared. That’s the date outfit. It's summer, you're tan, the shirt is sun kissed like your skin color. It's bold. I think you should go for it."

"You’re right. I never would have picked this out. I generally do not wear orange, but it's a statement piece, and I want to look smashing. This is like the new, confident Jared coming out celebration." 

"With the white jeans Jared, do it! It doesn't even need tailoring"

"I love it. Gina you are brilliant.  I feel really sexy and good in this."

"I’m so excited for you Jared. Can we do a few photos in this?"

"Yes, please don’t send them to Leslie yet. I want to surprise him tonight."

"Absolutely! I promise! Leslie is going to be very surprised. Try these Versace sunglasses with this outfit Jared."

"Oh my God, I look like a movie star."

"You are a movie star Jared. Own it!"

They all marveled at Jared’s 6’4” stature, and how he looked in the clothes. They promised to hold off sending Leslie the pictures until the next day so Jared could surprise Leslie, and Leslie could be the first to see Jared in the outfit.

***

Leslie texted Jared to meet him at Ciclo downtown at the Four Seasons because they offered outdoor dining. Leslie noticed Jared really enjoyed being outdoors, and spoke of the long, cold, dark winters in Vancouver being either cooped up indoors or outdoors freezing. 

Leslie was seated at a table outside when Jared made his entrance, and what an entrance it was. A 6”4” man in an orange dress shirt with white jeans stands out. The slim cut shirt emphasized Jared’s broad shoulders and narrow waist. The jeans were made to pay homage to Jared’s ass. He looked stunning. As he walked toward the table the sun’s rays spotlit him as if God himself was showing off his creation. Everyone turned to stare at Jared as he walked to his table, and proudly took a seat across from Leslie.

"You look stunning," Leslie said, extending a hand to cover Jared’s hand on the table and squeeze it lightly. "I could eat you like a creamsicle. You look fucking gorgeous. I would stand up and kiss you right now, but I am refraining because I know you prefer no PDA. But I want you to know that I would love to kiss you right now."

"Thank you" Jared beamed. I went to Nieman Marcus today and met Gina, and we shopped together. I got some new stuff. It was really fun!"

Leslie’s grin widened.

"I got a discount because I agreed to let them photograph me for their social media and digital advertising. They're sending you the photos tomorrow."

"Aren’t you a sneaky one? And Gina is in league with you to keep secrets from me. Hmm! I see how it is," Leslie teased, grinning.

"They wanted to text you, but I wanted you to be surprised."

"You succeeded. I am surprised! I’m sure there will be a few tongues wagging at Nieman’s about us having a dinner date."

"Are you mad, should I not have?"

"Oh God no! I’m proud to be your date and not just because of your beauty, your sex appeal, your hotness, how sexy you look in clothes, how you blew me last night." Leslie discreetly squeezed Jared’s hand on the table.  

"Please, go on"

Leslie leaned in and looked Jared in his brown green eyes, and spoke tenderly, “I love your tender heart Jared. You're a gentle soul Jared, and kind."

"Thank you."

***

Jared had taken an Uber to the restaurant so they would not have 2 cars to drive back to the loft after dinner. 

In the car ride home Jared was free to to hold Leslie's hand as he longed to during dinner. But since Leslie was driving Jared just rested his left hand on Leslie’s right knee.

"I would like to try lovemaking tonight," Jared said.

"It's a big step Jared. I think we should talk about it. Have you done this before?"

"Well, yeah, I mean I'm not a virgin but its been a while. I mean I was a horny teenager like everyone else but I mostly messed around with hand jobs and blow jobs. But yes I've done it but we were basically twinks. I've changed a lot since then."

"Well Jared, I view it as a pretty big commitment to make love to someone. I mean it's pretty serious for me."

"Well, I'm exclusively with you Leslie."

"And I with you Jared, but you're leaving for Canada in what 10-ish days?"

"We are going back to your loft to spend the night in bed together. What did you expect would happen?"

"Fair point Jared. I'm just feeling like I need to protect myself here a bit. I'm getting attached to you and it's going to be difficult for me when you leave for Canada. Lovemaking will make the separation that much harder. After sex I tend to get sticky and adhere to my mate like an animal species."

"Which animal species?"

"I don't remember. I saw it on National Geographic. But I think it happens to humans more than we like to admit."

"I like the idea of being a couple with you Leslie."

"What kind of lovemaking do you want to experience tonight Jared? In the opening game kick off, you win the coin toss, are you kicking or receiving?"

"Receiving. I want you to penetrate me."

Leslie pulled the sports car into into the garage at the loft. 

"Okay darling," Leslie said placing gentle kisses on Jared's face. "Let’s go to bed."

Naked in bed, kissing passionately, Jared’s appetite was hyped up. He was hungrier. He kissed Leslie and climbed on top of him grinding his cock against Leslie's pelvis.  He rolled him on top of him, grinding against Leslie's hip bone, He turned Leslie over, and slid the shaft of his cock up and down between Leslie’s butt cheeks. He knelt, legs spread apart above Leslie's face seeking Leslie’s mouth with his cock.  He went down on Leslie, mouthing his cock. 

When he was seriously turned on, red faced and panting, with Leslie's saliva dripping down his cock, down his ass crack, and down to his balls, he said, "Leslie I'm ready to make love now, for you to go inside me."

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes, please"

"I would love to Jared. No need to say please, Jay. I just want to be sure you’re ready." 

"I'm ready, I promise you" Jared kissed Leslie gently on his lips. 

Leslie proceeded to get the lube and a condom from the night table.

"Up on all fours will be most comfortable for you." 

Jared got up on all fours. Leslie lubed both hands and all his fingers generously and started to gently probe Jared’s hole with his right hand fingers.

Leslie’s stroked Jared’s cock slowly, with his left hand, to keep Jared aroused and distracted in the case of any discomfort. He lay his stomach over Jared’s back so Jared could feel safe and cocooned.

"I’m going to penetrate you with one lubed finger ok?"

"Yes"

Leslie gently slid his index finger in Jared’s hole, while continuing to stroke him.

"How does that feel?"

"It’s good, feels good. I like it," Jared said eyes closed, enjoying the sexual stimulation on his cock and the ass play.

"Okay just relax and focus on not clenching, be as relaxed as possible. Breathe. I’m going to put in two fingers now. Think about your cock and balls. How do they feel?"

"Fucking great!" 

"Okay good, I'm sliding in the second finger okay?

Leslie used a lot of lube and slid a 2nd finger inside Jared.

"How is that?"

"Still good, really good, I'm really turned on. I'm too turned on you're gonna make me come."

"Good you’re doing great. You’re nice and relaxed. Focus on the pleasure of your cock being jerked off. There are a lot of nerve endings at your rear entrance that heighten your pleasure when stimulated. I’m going to prepare you by adding a third finger and that will be the last, okay?" 

"Okay"

"I'm going to use plenty of lube."

Leslie added lube to his left hand first and continued stroking Jared’s cock, and even treated his balls to some playful pulling and massaging and returned to Jared’s large cock stroking him, not too fast and not too hard, but firmly enough to keep Jared in a highly stimulated state.

"That feels good," Jared said.

"Okay good, I’m adding the third finger now baby. Just take a deep breath now and relax"

Jared breathed in

"Wiggle your toes," Leslie said

Jared wiggled his toes to distract him from the third finger entering him, and to keep him from clenching.

Leslie, put three fingers in Jared's beautiful hole. The first two went in easily. It was a little tighter with the third finger added.

"How does that feel?"

"Tighter. Full. Less comfortable."

"Just rest there for a while baby until you grow accustomed to the feeling and it starts to feel pleasurable. Focus on your cock. I'm going to jerk you off a little harder now."

Leslie focused his free hand on stroking Jared’s lubed cock and playing with his sensitive balls. He kept his fingers that were inside Jared stationary.

Leslie kissed Jared’s back placing his right cheek against Jared’s back, holding Jared's cock in his left hand and stretching his anus with his right fingers.

"You’re doing great." Leslie was extremely turned from manipulating Jared's cock and balls, and penetrating Jared with his fingers knowing what that tight heat would soon be around him.  

Gently kissing Jared's back, Leslie observed that Jared seemed more relaxed and turned on by the manual stimulation of his cock.

Leslie asked, "do you want me inside you now?"

"Yes"

"Are you sure Jared? We can stop anytime"

"I want to. I want you"

"Okay sweetie I'm going to take my fingers out very, very slowly."

Leslie withdrew his fingers very slowly.

Jared took a deep breath in.

Leslie rested his hand that was pumping Jared's cock.

"Can I have a kiss please? Leslie asked, "C’mere"

Jared turned his face to and Leslie gave him a kiss on the lips. Jared was in a entranced by seduction, his facial expression other worldly.

"How are you? Leslie asked, stroking Jared's hair and face and looking directly into his eyes.

"I'm good. I want to keep going."

"Okay. I just wanted to see your face and eyes for a moment."

Leslie placed kisses on Jared’s forehead, lips and cheeks. Looking into his eyes, he raked Jared’s hair with his fingers. He assessed Jared’s face to make sure he truly wanted to proceed.

"Are you okay on all 4s?"

"Yes"

"Okay, I'm putting on a condom, and I'm going to lube myself up and rub myself against your beautiful entrance. Okay?"

"Yes"

"Play with your cock a little now to distract you from the pressure from behind."

Leslie probed Jared's entrance with his left thumb and lined up his cock with using his right hand, while Jared stroked himself. Leslie removed his thumb and pushed his lubed cock inside Jared’s entrance 2 inches deep, just past the head.

Jared wailed and writhed for a moment in pain and pulled away causing Leslie to come out of Jared.

"Oh my darling let me hold you" Leslie said. 

Jared turned on his back to face Leslie. Leslie embraced Jared kissing him on the face, and holding him tightly to his chest.

"Its okay, its okay, I have you. You're okay." Leslie showered Jared's forehead with kisses. 

"I don’t understand why that was so painful? I felt like I was getting stabbed by a knife."

"I'm sorry baby. It hurts the first time. That’s the worst of it. It won’t be so painful in the future. After a few times, I will just slide in and you will feel all pleasure and no pain."

He embraced Jared kissing his forehead holding him close.

"We can stop now Jared. We don’t have to do this now or ever."

"No, I want to try again"

"Jared are you sure?"

"Yes, I’m positive. I want to experience this with you. I want to enjoy full lovemaking with you. Experiencing this is important to me. And if this is part of the process, I’m willing to see it through."

"Jay, you’ve got me crazy with desire. Turn over, get on all 4s. I will be as gentle as possible."

Jared got on all fours and Leslie got the lube out again and a new condom. 

" Stroke yourself and relax. When I tell you I'm entering you, take a deep breath in and wiggle your toes, it will keep you from clenching."

"Okay"

"Okay darling that’s my cock probing your hole. I’m just getting in position, touch yourself baby. I'm just going in two inches and then I’m going to stop there and we are going to be very still okay?"

"Yes"

"Feel me on your entrance?"

"Yes"

"Deep breath now"

Leslie penetrated Jared by 2 inches , just enough to get his head inside and remained very still, he held Jared's hips. 

"You okay?"

"Yes."

"Did it hurt this time?"

"Not as bad, no sharp pain"

"Good baby, keep stroking your cock, and take deep breaths and relax your body."  

Jared was sweating. He felt the heat and sweat emerging from his pores on his face, on his chest on his ass, on his back. He felt hot all over.

"Tell me when you feel comfortable for me to move." Leslie caressed Jared’s sides, kissed his back, and lay his stomach flush against Jared’s back to keep as close to him as possible wanting him to feel safe, comfortable and protected.

"I feel very hot and sweaty, Other than that I'm okay, I'm not in any pain."

"Sweating a normal physiological reaction when you’re being penetrated like this. Be accepting of it. Try to enjoy all the sensations. Jay, I'm going to gently move in and out very slowly and not deeply. I will enter you about one inch more and come out 2 inches. We will keep the motion very shallow.  

"Okay" Jared said

Leslie began gently pumping in and out of Jared with the utmost care.

"How does it feel?"

"Full"

"Do you think you could cum with me inside you?"

"Probably not. Not tonight not the first time."

"Its okay baby"

"How are you? Jared asked.

"I’m fucking great, leslie said intoxicated by erotic passion. I'm so turned on by your tight, pretty ass. Your ass is a fucking national treasure. God jared you have a tight, sweet ass that I like to fuck. Oh Jay, I didn't want to cum inside you but I'm so turned on, your hole is so tight.  I'm gonna cum, Jared"

With that Leslie thrust inside Jared causing Jared's knees to collapse and Leslie to fall flat on top of Jared's back as Leslie shot his load.

After staying very still, Leslie came out of his orgasmic haze and regarded Jared.

"I'm going to pullout of you now okay?"

"Yes"

"Slowly now," Leslie pulled out of Jared.

He removed the condom, wrapped it in a Kleenex from the night stand, and dropped it in a wastebasket by the bed.

"Come here," Leslie held Jared close, spooning Jared's head into his chest so he could see his face and talk to him. He placed so many kisses on his face and scalp.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. I wanted to do this. I wanted to deepen our relationship. I want to keep doing it until we get good at it."

"Jared what you gave me tonight was very special, precious. I treasure you. I treasure this moment. I do not take this lightly. You've  honored me sharing your body with me in the most intimate way." Leslie kissed Jared’s forehead and lips.

Jared wanted to hold tight and be held tightly. 

They fell asleep in that position, Leslie spooning Jared with his head higher than Jared so he could surround and protect him. 

***

Leslie left Jared sleeping in the morning, and went to work. The note on the kitchen table read:

Precious Jared,
Thank you for your special gift last night. I will work a half day today.
I will come for you at noon, and we will spend a special afternoon together boating on Lake Travis. 
Love,
y our Leslie

After bathing in Leslie's lavish tub, Jared decided he needed swim trunks and boat shoes and wanted to pick up sandwiches and a cooler full of beverages if they were going to the lake. He texted Leslie…I’ll get the sandwiches and beverages. Then he texted Gina for the swim trunks and boat shoes.

At noon Leslie came home to get Jared. They took Jared's truck 20 miles north west to lake Travis where Leslie kept a 31 foot twin engine speedboat he used for motoring around the lake.

It was a weekday so the lake was less crowded than they would have found it on a weekend.

They boarded the boat and loaded it with their cooler of food and drinks.

 

Jared helped untie the lines, while Leslie navigated out of the boat slip. Jared jumped aboard after he untied the lines from the dock. 

Leslie captained the boat out to his favorite, quiet cove. The water was flat as glass, calm and sparkling with the reflection of the sun. It was a glorious day.

It was a 30 minute ride to the cove, 30 minutes of sheer pleasure, of sun, water and beauty of nature. Leslie dropped anchor when they arrived at the hidden, private cove.

Jared felt far away from the stressors of life, remote from other people, on the water with no one else in sight, and alone with his lover. It was paradise.

"Swim first or eat?"

“Swim” Jared answered.

“There’s a swimming platform off the stern. It’s safe to jump off from there. And there’s a little 3 step ladder into the water to help you climb back aboard.”

Leslie jumped in first and Jared followed. The water was clear and cold in the low 70s, but it felt a little warmer after a minute or two.

Jared refreshed himself dunking his head under the cold water, feeling his scalp cool off immediately and his body temperature cool off from the Texas summer heat.

Jared swam over to Leslie and kissed him on the lips.

“Happy?” Leslie asked

“Very,” Jared replied.

They ate sandwiches, drank beers and listened to old rock and roll music on the built in radio, sometimes singing along. They lounged on the bow, covered with a lots of sunscreen, and talked and laughed and sometimes kissed.

"Thank you for this quality time you’re giving me Jared Padelecki."

"Thank you for taking half a day off and entertaining me on your boat today Leslie King."

"Cant think of anywhere I would rather be."

"Me too"

They stared into each other’s eyes and kissed.

Chapter Text

 

The ten days passed with Jared diving head first into a sexual, romantic, and emotional relationship with Leslie that included a lot of sex and fun activities in Austin. They were so relaxed, beautifully tanned, and very physically connected, touching and kissing affectionately whenever they were within touching distance of each other.

Inevitably, the time neared when Jared would have to leave for Vancouver.

It would still be July when Jared returned to Vancouver, he explained to Leslie, good weather for visitors.  

Jared already persuaded Leslie to come up for a visit in 3 weeks, and Jared planned to come back to Austin for Labor Day weekend. They discussed the idea that they would see each other once every 3 weeks, and there was always Skype sex.  

...

Jared lay naked, flat on his stomach on the bed while Leslie sat up next to him, leaning on one hand and massaging Jared’s back with the other. Leslie admired Jared’s long tanned back. His ass was tanned from sun bathing naked on the motorboat.

Jared turned over, his fully naked body on display. Leslie was quiet, lightly coursing his fingers down Jared’s long side. Jared’s arms were extended overhead, elongating him further.

Leslie beheld his lover, “You are a wonderland Jared.”

Leslie began massaging Jared’s chest softly at first. He attended to Jared’s beautifully taut stomach ever so gently, not wanting to tickle, just to barely touch, like a whisper.

He leaned his mouth over Jared’s beautiful trail, following the line down to the treasure that was Jared’s precious manhood.

Jared was hard, his cock sensing the nearness of Leslie, Jared’s eyes closed meditatively.

At that moment, Leslie knew he was the luckiest man in the world, at least for a little while longer.

Leslie mouthed Jared’s cock, and licked his length from the bottom of his balls to his head. He sucked and sucked on his beautiful Jared.

He placed his face close to Jared’s and said, to himself I love you Jared.

They made beautiful love that night.

Jared entered Leslie from behind wrapped in a condom and lubed up for him. Jared never felt anything so pleasurable as the feeling of pumping his cock inside the hot, tight canal that was Leslie’s ass.

“Oh my God, you’re huge,” Leslie said as he grabbed his own cock with a lubed hand and stroked himself in time with Jared’s thrusts.

“Good Jared, just like that. Yes baby, fuck me, just like that. Oh, you fill me up so good honey. That’s right. I want you to come for me honey. Yeah just like that,” Leslie said as he rocked in time with Jared’s thrusts, “come inside me baby. Will you come for me?”

“Yes baby,” Jared replied, “I’m going to come for you baby.....

Leslie climaxed.

........I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come,” Jared said as he blasted off into weightlessness, zero gravity…floating…come spurting into his partner’s beautiful ass.

Jared conked out, his full weight on Leslie.

“Jared my sweet, we need to gently withdraw you, and clean up a little before we go to sleep. Nice and slow, Just like that, okay, I got you. I got the condom.”

 Leslie wiped them both off with a damp towel, and he and Jared fell into a deep slumber.

...

Jared spent every day at Leslie’s loft until he had to go back to San Antonio to pack for Vancouver. The plan was that Jared would pack, say goodbye to his family, then spend his last night in Austin with Leslie.

His brother Jeff agreed to drive him from San Antonio to Austin, so Jared wouldn’t have a vehicle to worry about leaving in Austin. Then Leslie would drive Jared to the airport to catch his flight to Vancouver.

 ...

“Jeff, I want you to meet Leslie when you drop me off. Enter his number in your phone contacts too, just in case.”

“A’right Jay” Jeff drawled like the Texan that he was.  

Jeff being an orthopedic surgeon with a wife and three kids, had little time for leisure. However, he wanted quality time with Jared before he left for Vancouver. 

“I’m happy for you Jay. You deserve love and happiness. It’s good to see you in such high spirits.”

“Leslie, this is my brother Jeff, he’s a doctor.”

“Hi Jeff, please come in and have a refreshing drink.”

“Sure, it would be my pleasure.”

“Every single time Jared mentions your name it’s followed by “the doctor.” He’s very enthusiastic about it.”

“Thank you for saying so. Jared is an all-around enthusiastic guy.”

“Tru-dat!”

“Okay you guys, stop talking about me as if I’m not in the room”

“But it’s so fun!” Leslie chirped.

“Jared brags about you as well Leslie. He says you’re in digital media. I’m not 100% sure what that is.”

“Yes, I am. Digital media marketing and advertising reflects the migration from print, newspapers, magazines to online. It represents all the places advertisers want to appear like Facebook, Instagram, Yahoo home page; and it includes creating ads which are frequently video. We even handle influencers and celeb-fluencers for clients.”

“What’s the name of the firm?”

“King and Stone Digital Media. My last name is King, and my business partner is Brian Stone. Hence the name.”

“That’s impressive Leslie, just as Jared described. Can we exchange contact info seeing you are a close friend to Jared?”

“Of course, here enter your contact info in my phone, and I will send you my info right now.”

“Done”

****

Leslie prepared a romantic dinner for Jared. He bought T-bone steaks, Jared’s favorite, baked potatoes, broccoli with lots of salt and butter and shredded cheese melted on it, Texas style, California red wine, and for dessert chocolate mousse, raspberry sorbet and gourmet coffee.

They enjoyed a quiet and romantic dinner at home in Leslie’s loft followed by a night of tender and passionate lovemaking.

 

The day of Jared’s departure, Jared was exuberant, happy and excited to go back to the Supernatural set for his 2nd season.

He was elated with his summer romance, being physically and verbally affirmed by this mature man who loved him.

Even though he hated to leave Leslie, he was overflowing with happiness.

He was going back with a new physique that he could show off, and new feelings of self-confidence.

 

They did most of their goodbye kissing in the car to avoid an embarrassing display of public affection.

Leslie said goodbye to Jared at the security checkpoint.

“Call and text me every day” Jared said.

“Until you get sick of me” Leslie feared.

“I’m looking forward to tons of Skype sex,” Jared said.

“I’m going to miss you,” Leslie was already feeling anxious and alone, losing his man to a big adventure.

“It was the best summer of my life,” Jared said.

And in spite of his feeling that he was losing Jared, Leslie planted a kiss on Jared’s forehead, and said, “Here I got you something.”

Leslie handed a small box to Jared.

Jared opened it. Inside was a narrow silver cuff bracelet engraved with “FLY”. Jared picked it up.

“It has a double meaning”, Leslie explained, F-L-Y for “First Love Yourself”, and the word FLY because I wish you soaring success!”

Jared put on the bracelet, and threw his arms around Leslie’s neck.

“Thank you, Leslie. I love it. I will treasure it and wear it every day.”

“Go get it Jared.”  

And with that, Jared set off to board his flight to Vancouver.

Chapter Text

-------------------------------------

 

St. Patrick Catholic Church, Dallas Texas

And the priest offered the Eucharistic prayer: “Behold the Lamb of God, behold him who takes away the sins of the world. Blessed are those called to the supper of the Lamb.”

Jensen and the congregants responded: “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.”

Jensen filed out of his pew to receive holy communion, followed by Katie, Jensen’s Mom, and Jensen’s Dad.

The priest dispensed “The Body of Christ.”

Jensen received “Amen”

After receiving communion, they filed back into their pew and knelt in contemplation.

After the final blessing “Go in Peace to love and serve the Lord,”  they all joined in singing How Great Thou Art.  Jensen didn’t make a move to leave until he finished singing all four verses, loudly:

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art

As soon as they got outside, Jensen said “Pancakes!” They walked to the parking lot where Jensen and Katie got into Jensen’s car, and Donna and Alan Ackles got into their car. “Meet you at Oddfellows on 7th”

“Copy that.”

Jensen drove with one hand on the wheel, and kept his right hand on Katie’s right knee. He hummed the hymn from church. Katie in turn kept one hand on Jensen’s knee.

“Jennie, I’m gonna miss ya.”

“I know Katie. I’m gonna miss you too. I wish you would come up for a visit before school starts.”

“Jennie, I need the tips. I can’t afford a day off.

“I know, but surely there must be some time you can get away. I would pay for the plane ticket, and you would stay with me, so the trip would be free”.

"I need the tips for my schoolbooks, food and gas. I can’t afford to take off right now. It’s the busy season."

"Try to look for an opening in your schedule. Vancouver is beautiful in the fall. You'll love it. I promise I'll show you a really good time."

"You know my scholarship and loans don’t cover the whole cost of this master's degree in education. SMU is expensive."

"I know, and I’m real proud of you for going to school Katie. You’re going to be an awesome teacher."

"Someone’s gonna have to support us, just in case this acting thing doesn’t work out."

"Ha....That’s the only reason I stay with you, because you’re going to support me one day."

After a farewell breakfast of pancakes and mimosas with Donna and Alan Ackles, Jensen and Katie went back to Jensen’s flat for one last round.

***

Katie was on top. Her pendulous breasts hung over his face, while his hard cock slicked in and out of her tight, wet pussy. His hands cupped her breasts and squeezed them. His mouth kissed her luscious lips. His hips rose, his cock perfectly angled to enter her beautiful pussy, just for him.

"Yes baby …so nice," he urged. 

Katie straddled Jensen, her torso leaning forward, her breasts swaying in front of his face and mouth. She lowered herself on Jensen’s big, beautiful, condom wrapped, cock, up, down, up, down.

Jensen moved his hands from her breasts to her hips, grabbing hold of her, holding her down, as he pumped his cock up into her. He needed it harder and faster. Katie could take it really hard.

He pumped up. She pushed down. His hands went up to her breasts squeezing harder, and his pace quickened.

She pounded hard. Then she took two wet fingers from her mouth, and moved them down to her clit. She rubbed herself in a circular motion. Each time Jensen’s cock entered her, Katie made one rotation around her clit. She found the perfect rhythm, sit and swirl, and Jensen was in tune with it.

Down, around, down, around, down, around…

They yielded to their rising orgasms like a huge ocean swell engulfing them. It washed over them sending them into another world where only pleasure and beauty existed. And Katie came down from her orgasmic perch, landing gently on Jensen, and they drifted off into the vast sea.  

***

Jared grinned the entire plane ride back to Canada. He felt so confident and lovable, thanks in part to Leslie and to his therapist. His mood and spirits were high, and of course, he could not wait to see Jensen. 

He wore his orange shirt with the white jeans, even though he knew he looked kind of gay in them, but Leslie told him he looked delicious in that outfit, and he wanted to look delicious for Jensen.

Jared arrived on set and went straight to his trailer, which was right next to Jensen’s, to drop off his stuff.  He threw his duffel down, and ran to Jensen’s trailer banging on the door.

“Jen?”

“He’s not in there! He went to the production office and picked up the script. Then he went over to the make-up trailer because Eric sent him for a shave.  He was looking for you.”

“Thanks Russ!”

Jared decided he would stop by the production office to get the script as well, and then go meet Jensen in the makeup trailer. Jared bounded into the office.

“Jared!” Eric greeted him. “Welcome back! You look tan and rested!”

“And bigger,” added Rich, “you filled out son.  Looks like wardrobe is going to have a heck of a  time fitting you into your clothes from last season!”

“I'm stronger too. I challenge anyone to an arm wrestle! May I have a script please? I’m off to find Jensen.” Jared said, bounding out of the office as fast as he entered.

Jared sprinted over to the makeup trailer and raced inside pushing the door open and yelling, “Jensen!”

Jensen’s face gleamed with delight. His eyes brightened, and mouth opened into a wide smile, boasting shiny white teeth. Jensen stood up from the grooming chair and embraced Jared. Jared and Jensen hugged heartily, maintaining a tight hug for several beats.

“You feel bigger.”

They pulled back to look at each, and both started speaking fast at the same time.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha,” Jared bellowed, his head thrown back and mouth agape, at their mutual eagerness to tell each other the story of their summer hiatus.

“You look good. You added 30 pounds of muscle at least.” Jensen placed a hand on Jared’s shoulder, squeezing it. “You’re like a rock. You got some serious definition, Jay. Look at your biceps bulging under your shirt.” Jensen felt Jared’s biceps through his shirt. “Holy shit dude, you’re gonna be auditioning for superman with these guns!”

Hearing these words, Jared felt like a girl rewarded for her primping before a date. 

“Thank you, Jensen,” Jared beamed with pride and happiness.

Jensen touched Jared here, and touched him there, sending little electric currents right to Jared’s loins. Jared actually flinched as Jensen touched each of his major muscle groups, arms, legs, back, even his stomach. He had to back away and cover his crotch. He was half expecting Jensen to touch him there.

“Jen…what are you doing? You’re feeling me up.” Jared took a step back and crossed his hands over his chest.

"I'm just looking at you man. Whoa, holy shit Jay, you got some muscles dude!"

"Yeah, I’ve been working out with a trainer. I gained 30 pounds. I’m not so skinny anymore."

"True that!"

“I’m gonna try to keep up my lifting and eating a high protein diet. I feel better about my body, and more confident in myself,” Jared said becoming emotional.

Jensen rested his hand on Jared’s back in support of Jared’s confiding in him.

“You look great, man. The jeans are a little tight, and the shirt is bright, but you look great!”

Jared laughed. “I know it looks a little bright. I was told that, but I like this outfit. I bought it for a date in Austin.”

“A date ey? I wanna hear all about it. Did she like it?”

“I got a thumbs up. You look good too, Jensen, healthy, tan, and freckled.”

“I know, I got a lot of sun jet skiing on the lake.”

As they walked from the makeup trailer to the main set, Jensen launched into the story of his summer in an uncharacteristically gregarious manner. “My band played every weekend in Dallas. We had so many gigs. I’m getting so much better on guitar and vocals, and I learned a lot of new songs. We posted some videos up on YouTube. You have to check us out. We sound amazing, really professional. Labor Day weekend we have a gig at a big venue in Dallas. You have to come. I’m going to be playing and singing that weekend.”

“I can’t wait to see the videos. Will you play guitar for me and sing me some of your new material?”

“Yes, I brought my new guitar. You’re tan too, you couldn’t have been spending all your time in the gym this summer.”

“I spent a lot of time in Austin. I made some new friends, and did some boating. I really like Austin. I may move there from San Antonio. It was a great summer.”

“What are you doing now? We have two hours before call time. I was gonna read the script. Why don’t we go to Stanley Park, sit by the lake and read the script together?”

***

Jensen drove. They borrowed a car from set. It felt like old times.

“You know I let  you drive because I know you like to drive.” Jared started in.

“You let me drive because I’m the guy in this relationship.”

“Oh Jesus, am I talking to Jensen or Dean?”

“I know I’m channeling Dean, but I missed this. I missed Dean, and I missed us!”

“I missed us too man.”

“Why didn’t you call me more this summer?” Jensen asked.

“Same reason you didn’t call me I guess, just being present where I was.”

“I’m just real glad to have you back Jay, real glad.”

“Same here buddy, same here.”

 ***

They sat by the lake sipping beer and eating take out hamburgers, reading the script once through, while the sun blazed down on them. All was right with the world.

When they got really hot, they stripped down to their underwear and jumped in the lake in a place hidden from view.

Jensen’s legs were muscular and lean. Jensen had a lean, flat stomach and hairless chest.

He probably waxed, Jared thought.

Jensen was fit but not ripped. When he turned his back, Jared observed that it was full of water droplets and freckles.

Jared wore boxer briefs, and Jensen could see that Jared, even soft, was packing some serious size.

“Wow, now I can really see your body since you’re in your underwear. Dude, you are packing Moby Dick!”

“Fucking Jensen! You’re making me self-conscious.”

“C’mon man it’s just us, locker room talk.”

“This was not the most brilliant idea Jensen. We should have swum naked. Now we have wet underwear.”

“Ah, who cares? We’ll just take off our underwear and go back to the set commando.”

With that Jensen took off his briefs right in front of Jared, grabbed his jeans, and began putting on one leg.

Jared was terror struck! Obviously, he wanted to look, but he didn’t think it was right on account of him being gay and all, and Jensen not knowing. It wasn’t really fair to Jensen if Jared looked.

Here I am, first day back in Vancouver, and Jensen is nude in front of me, and I didn’t even have to do anything to make it happen.

What the hell! Jared was not going to pass this up. He wasn’t stupid! He might not get this chance again. 

So, Jared looked at Jensen’s naked crotch.  

Jensen’s sack hung below a patch of dark blond hair, and from the hair, there issued a lovely soft penis. It was very pleasing, Jared thought. Soft, it was about five inches long, and showed promising girth.

Jared liked it right away, and his thoughts drifted off to having Jensen’s cock in his mouth, and it growing for him. He imagined himself experiencing Jensen’s intimate scent, and touching that patch of hair, and stroking Jensen’s balls with his fingers.

“Jared....... Jared”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing already? You’re gonna make us late. Get with it!”

“Yeah, right.”

Jared pulled down his own wet briefs and reached for his pants. Jensen quickly grabbed them, and pulled them out of Jared’s reach, laughing.

“You have got to be kidding me! No way is this happening right now!”

“You won’t be the one doing all the shenanigans this year. Ha, ha! I got your pants.”

“I know, give them back!”

“Nope!”

“I thought you said we were gonna be late?”

“Nice equipment you got there."  Jensen made no concealment of looking at Jared’s crotch.

“No fair, you have your pants on.”

“You looked at me."

Jared’s face flushed red with burning, hot blood.

“I swear Jensen Ackles, you are making me uncomfortable. Now please give me back my pants.”

“Okay here you go. You’re so serious. They got a little dirty though. I don’t know why you wore white jeans to set.”

“I had my reasons”

“C’mon pokey I’m getting hungry. Let’s get back to set and eat with everyone, do what we have to do. Then we can head over to see the new apartments. I can’t wait, I’m so excited. They are going to be so sweet!

As they walked to the car, Jensen talked more than his usual self. Typically, he passively let Jared do most of the talking, but not today. 

"I feel like it’s the night before the first day of school, you know? I never could sleep the night before first day of school. I was always too excited. You drive Jay, I’m actually feeling a little tired now. Maybe I will rest my head while you drive us back.”

“Please do, Jensen. You could use to settle down.”

“I missed you Jay. I’m really glad to see you.”

“Me too Jensen. Me too.”

***

The boys drove back to set in time for call. It was just a formality to arrive the night before filming in case of missed flights or unexpected surprises. Plus, it helped everyone relax, especially the guest stars, who tended to be more nervous.

Dinner was like a merry reunion. Jared received a lot of attention because of his new physique. His pectoral muscles bulged on his chest. His neck stuck out of his shirt collar so much thicker than it did last season. His biceps showed through the bright orange shirt, luring everyone’s eyes to him. 

Jared was so popular this evening, and Jensen acted so proud to be his best friend. It was like a scene from high school.

Jensen kept touching Jared, pointing out Jared’s enlarged deltoids, pectoral muscles, and biceps to everyone.

“I’m gonna start charging you if you keep touching me like that!” Jared warned Jensen. 

“Ahh, you!” Jensen said, and smacked Jared on the ass.

Jared eyes bulged. “C’mere, now!”

They walked out of the catering tent, and continued  for 10 to 20 feet out of earshot of the others.

“What is going on with you?” Jared asked.

“Too much?”

On the one hand, Jared didn’t want Jensen to stop touching him. On the other hand, Jared felt embarrassed that Jensen touched him so much in front of everybody! 

“Not necessarily too much Jensen, but I need to understand what is going on with you. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“No, nothing specific. I’m happy Jared, happy with our lives, our jobs. We're so lucky, and I feel really blessed Jay.”

“Yes Jensen, we are blessed, that we are.”

“And I’m really happy to see you. I guess I missed you more than I realized. I'm happy to be back with my best friend is all.”

“Me too, Jensen. Me too.”

Chapter Text

 

 

Jensen and Jared mostly hung out in Jared’s apartment because Jared wanted to keep the dogs company when he was home. Jared’s place was always a little messier for it, while Jensen’s place was pristine. Jensen made the short walk down the hallway to Jared’s place where the door was slightly ajar as Jared was expecting him.

“What are we watching tonight?” Jensen shouted to Jared who was in the bedroom post shower after his workout. Jensen helped himself to a beer from the refrigerator.

“You sure stocked up on food and booze. Expecting company?”

“What do you feel like watching?” Jared ignored Jensen’s second question.

“Have you seen Argo? It’s partly based in Canada and partly based in the U.S., and its suspenseful. Wanna watch that?”

“Sounds good I haven’t seen it in forever.” Jared entered the kitchen and got a beer from the fridge. “Want snacks?”

“Yes please”

“How about chips and guacamole?”

‘’Sounds awesome”

Jared brought snacks to the coffee table and took a seat next to Jensen on the sofa. Sadie and Harley made themselves comfortable at his feet.

Jensen got talkative during the movie. “So, I dated this girl Katie over hiatus”

“Yeah”

“She was hot and all but I wasn’t feelin’ the love, ya know?”

“What wasn’t right about it?”

“I think she was using me for sex and my looks.”

“Ew, doesn’t sound like true love. So why did you go out with her?”

“Lazy, I guess. I never had to work very hard when it came to women. I let them do all the work."

“Maybe you have to participate more actively in the selection process.”

“Katie seemed like a good choice at first. She was hot, and she was studying to be a teacher. But when I got to know her, I didn’t find much heart, just an empty space.”

"What's your primary love language?"

"What?"

"You know, the book, The 5 Love Languages?"

"Never heard of it."

"There's a quiz in the back. It tells you which your preferred method of receiving love is. Mine is verbal affirmation. There's also quality time, physical touch, acts of service, like driving you, cooking for you, taking you to the doctor etc, and gifts."

"I think I'm physical all the way. But sex is illusory. It makes you think you're in love"

"You sound like my therapist."

“Did you ever tell a girl you loved her?” Jensen asked.

“No, have you?”

“Possibly in the throes of passion, but I dont think I've ever really been in love. I've wanted to be in love. Have you, been in love?”

“I’ve been infatuated,"  Jared paused, "and I’ve experienced unrequited love.”

“Do you want to fall in love?”

“Yes, I've been in love. I want my love to be reciprocated. Unlike you Jensen, I haven't found it quite so easy to find people who want to be in a relationship with me. Since we’re on this topic of love and relationships Jensen, I’ve been wanting to share something with you, about me, …”

“Yeah what?”

“I’ve been with women......but I prefer men.”

“Come again?”

I’ve been trying to find a good time to tell you. I prefer men over women, romantically speaking.  

Whoa.

I know whoa.

Wow.

I know wow. It’s a big deal for you to hear this, but it’s a much bigger deal for me to tell you.

Jensen was astonished and still as a statue. He wore a surprised expression, as if replaying scenes in his head between Jared and him, but seeing them through a new lens. 

It was quiet for long a time, at least it seemed like a long time to Jared. He was tempted to say something but decided to wait for Jensen to speak first. That’s how he practiced it. He needed to see Jensen’s reaction and allow him the space to react.

“I don’t know what to say right now. I’m glad you shared with me. I know that must have been hard for you. Thank you.”

“That’s a good start.”

“Tell me what to do, what to say.”

“Say you’re my friend.”

“I am your friend. Nothing will ever change that.”

------

Jensen made his way through Vancouver airport on his way to Dallas to play with Band of Fools at the Fat Cat Club for a Saturday night gig. 

***

Katie found Jensen in the Manager’s Office between sets.

“Jennie”

Bristling at the intimate nickname, “What is it Katie?”

“You know what it is Jensen, what I like, what I want,” she said pawing him. 

“Katie, I’m not doing that anymore.”

“What? C’mon Jensen, stop playin’ hard to get now.”

“I’m not hard to get, Katie….We don’t love each other.”

“I’ll tell you that I love you Jensen, right before you cum if that's what you want to hear to get off, if it’ll make you have a better orgasm.”

“I don’t want you to say you love me. I’m looking for actual love.”

“You’ve never talked like this before Jensen. It always sounded to me like you were pretty into what we were doing.”

“Well not anymore. I’m done giving up little pieces of my soul every time we have meaningless sex.”

“Now it’s meaningless?”

“It’s pretty meaningless Katie, especially when I hear you’ve already found my replacement. Tom, the owner of the bar, seriously Katie?”

“Don’t tell me you’re staying home every night in Vancouver Jensen, because I call bullshit on that.”

“This is over Katie. Excuse me, I have to get back on stage.”

*****

Sunday morning Jensen went to St. Patrick’s Church with his folks. He gave thanks for his health, his parents and siblings, his God given talents, his job, his music, his friends, and Jared, especially for Jared.

The priest began the Eucharistic prayer:

Priest: The Lord be with you.

Congregation: And with your spirit.

Priest: Lift up your hearts.

Congregation: We lift them up to the Lord.

After receiving communion and the final blessing, the Priest said:  Go Forth, the Mass is ended.

Jensen sang wholeheartedly:

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me;

With God as our Father

Brothers all are we,

Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony.

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me.

***

“You seem melancholy today Jensen, is everything okay?” Jensen’s Mom, asked.

“Katie and I split up last night.”

“I’m sorry Jensen.”

“Don’t be. She wasn’t the right girl for me. Mom can I ask you a question? What does it mean in the Mass when the Priest says Lift up your hearts?”

“You first, tell me what you think it means Jensen. Then I will tell you what I think it means.”

“I think it means be happy, God wants us to be happy, our spirits to be high, to have joy in our hearts, be joyful.”

“That’s beautiful Jensen. It’s language, so it’s open to interpretation. Every interpretation is right.”

“What is your interpretation Mom?”

“To me it means that God gives us the desires of our hearts.”

“Do you mean he puts those desires in our hearts?”

“Yes Jensen"

"What if our desires are wrong or bad?"

"God loves you Jensen. You are faithful to Him. You are a good man with love in your heart. God gave you those desires. They are not wrong or bad. And God grants us our desires because He loves us.” 

“Thank you Mom. I needed to hear that. I love you.”

“I love you too Jensen. Breakfast today?”

“I think I have time for some pancakes.”

 ***

Jared was counting the days to see Leslie again. The apartment was fabulous and the perfect place for hosting Leslie.

Both Jared and Jensen received 2 bedroom penthouse apartments in the new luxury high rise called The Majestic. They were on the same floor but on opposite ends of the long hallway. It would be a trick to keep Jensen and Leslie apart, but luckily Jensen was going back to Texas this weekend.

Jared left the keys with the doorman as he was pretty certain that Leslie would arrive when he was still on set. He squeezed in trips to the liquor store, Whole Foods Market, and spent extra time straightening up since Leslie’s place was always immaculate. Come to think of it how did he do that? Jared was not the tidiest, but having two large dogs didn't help matters.

It was a good thing the apartment was furnished. At least that was one less thing for Jared to concern himself with.

Leslie was going to stay at Jared’s. He planned to bring his laptop because he was coming in Friday night and staying until Tuesday. Jared would be working some of the time, but Leslie planned to go sight-seeing and get some work done from Jared’s apartment. At least they would have the evenings together. It was better than Skype sex.

Oh no we are going to want to have sex the minute Leslie gets here. I better go to the late-night pharmacy and pick up some lube and condoms. I don’t have any in the apartment.

Jared jumped in the used Ford Expedition he bought for Vancouver and set out for the drug store. He was thinking of all the things he could pick up while was there, extra mouthwash, and deodorant would be a good idea, and gum.

***

Leslie arrived at the Majestic and picked up the keys from the doorman as Jared pre-arranged. He let himself up to the penthouse and met the dogs. Leslie felt really nervous to see Jared, excited and nervous at the same time.

He decided to take the dogs out for a walk to see the neighborhood since he had some time before Jared would be home.

***

Jared raced home from set after the shooting wrapped for the day eager to see Leslie.

"Yay!" Jared saw Leslie and rushed him as his dogs would. He tackled him onto the couch. "Leslie you’re here!!!"

They kissed, Jared crushing Leslie with the 50 pounds he had on him. Crush!!!!

"Jared you’re crushing the air out of me!"

They rolled on the floor. They kept kissing. And finally, Jared settled down and looked Leslie in the eyes and squeezed him tightly.

"I’m so happy you’re here. I missed you. I just want to hold you and never let you go. You feel so good in my arms."

Leslie focused on the feeling of Jared’s strong arms around him. It was what he’d been longing for. He felt a rush of warmth and a yearning in his stomach. His desire was almost painful in the way it overtook his body.

As they started kissing and shedding clothing, Leslie cried tears of joy as his starving need was met by Jared’s responsive, beautiful and strong body.

“Let’s go to the bedroom," Jared spoke softly in a lover’s tone.

Leslie lowered himself onto Jared. His body yielded to Jared as Jared entered him. Jared made love to Leslie looking at his face, touching and arousing him, and when they climaxed, their enraptured souls wept tears of joy.

 ***

"Let’s eat breakfast and then see Vancouver on bicycle. We can rent bikes and ride the sea wall that circles Stanley Park this morning. Its’ about six miles and is surrounded by beautiful views. Then this afternoon, we can cycle from Sunset Beach to Kitsilano Beach about 8 miles, and I can show you all the beaches.  We can swim before or after. 

"Do you want to do breakfast home or out?" asked Leslie. 

"I'm more of an eating out kinda guy. I don’t have your culinary skills or inclination, but I stocked up on food so we could have the option. What’s your preference?"

"I can’t stop touching you and kissing you. I think we better leave the apartment or I might decide I don’t want to go out at all," answered Leslie.

Jared’s heart was full when he kissed Leslie and broke out into loud singing of a Whitney Houston song in the kitchen,

Tonight is the night for feeling alright
We'll be making love the whole night through

Leslie laughed," Okay let’s get out of here! Now you remind me of my buddy Jordan. Why do all gay men love Whitney Houston?"

****

The August morning was a generous hostess, and the vistas along the sea wall proved spectacular. Jared and Leslie took their time and leisurely made their way to Sunset Beach Park, which was crowded with families. It was hot, so they decided to stop for a swim.

Jared’s Expedition was strategically parked in the parking lot where they changed back into their biking gear from their swimsuits and set off for part 2 of their bike ride.

“Jared, Lookout!”

As they slowly pedaled from the parking lot to the trail, an inattentive driver backed his car out of his parking spot, and hit Jared on his bike.

****

Leslie jumped off his bike throwing it to the ground. He ran to Jared, who was on the ground. Jared and the bike were thrown several feet away. Jared was unconscious and bleeding.

The driver who hit Jared called for emergency assistance.

“I'm at Sunset Beach Park, in the parking lot by English Bay. I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car backing out of my parking spot. He’s injured. We need an ambulance.”

“You must stay at the scene because you were involved in the accident. Please try to assist the victim if possible.”

"Do I need to stay on the line?"

"No we have your GPS coordinates"

Leslie extricated the bike from Jared. The driver went in his trunk for a beach towel and placed it under Jared’s head. Fortunately, Jared was wearing a helmet. 

Leslie spoke to Jared, “Jared, can you hear me? It’s going to be okay Jay, help is on the way.”

An emergency crew arrived after what felt like an eternity to Leslie.

“Sir, can you tell me your name?”

No response.

"His name is Jared Padalecki” Leslie offered.

“He’s breathing,” said one EMS worker to another. "Let’s get him on the stretcher. Age?"

"23," Leslie offered.

Leslie listened to the paramedics talking by radio. They were taking Jared to Vancouver General Hospital, 3.6 kilometers, ETA 7 minutes. "Male identified as Jared Padalecki age 23, head injury to cyclist resulting from impact due to impact by car, lacerations from contact with pavement, possible broken bones, breathing but unconscious, appears to have injuries to the head, was wearing a helmet" 

"You can follow us to Vancouver General Hospital in your vehicle." 

***

Jared was wheeled into the hospital and evaluated. His clothes had to be removed to assess his lacerations.

"Prepare him for a cat scan to determine extent of head injury. Prep him for x-rays to determine broken bones; Prep him for surgery. His blood pressure is low. We have to go into the abdominal cavity to check for internal bleeding."

***

Leslie didn’t know any of Jared’s friends or local contacts so he called Jeff, Jared’s brother, in San Antonio. 

“I’m on the next flight.” With just the clothes on his back, his car keys and wallet, Jeff hastened out of his house to the airport, asking his wife to book him on the next flight out, and text him with the airline and flight number. 

****

Leslie was alone until Jeff finally arrived at the hospital nine hours later just before midnight.  

"Leslie, thanks for being here."

"Thank you for coming Jeff. I didn’t know who else to call."

“Of course, you did the right thing to call me. Bring me up to date. How is Jared?”

"Jared was in surgery for 3 hours. Then he was in the recovery room. Then he was admitted to the hospital formally. They have him in ICU. I haven’t gotten to see him yet. No doctor has provided a recent update. I’m sure they would like more information about him. I couldn’t be very helpful when it came to insurance and stuff. I’m worried Jeff."

"I know, try to keep calm. Let me ask for access to the medical information and assess his condition."

Jeff made inquiries to the head nurse, explaining he was Jared’s brother and a physician.

"Your brother was here once before for a hand injury last year. So, he is in our system. His friend gave us an updated address for Jared. I will tell the doctors of your arrival and your status as a physician. Someone will come out to talk to you just as soon as possible."

"Thank you."

***

I’m going to have to call CW, Jared’s network and report his accident because he’s going to miss work.  I will tell them he is not awake and discourage visitors."

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

"I will have to call Jensen who is Jared’s costar and close buddy. He will undoubtedly come right over."

"Whatever you think is best."

It’s a balance, on the one hand I want to respect your and Jared’s privacy, but on the other hand I need to tell his closest friend.

"I doubt he knows about me. Jared has not mentioned telling anyone about me."

"Under the circumstances I’m trying to put myself in Jared’s shoes, and my best judgement is telling me to call Jensen."

"Well of course then." 

"I’ll wait til morning. I don't want to wake anyone up at this hour."

***

The Attending Physician came to out speak to Jeff.

"Our main worry is the head injury. We are monitoring him closely in the ICU. He has a concussion for sure. We did a cat scan. There is a lot of swelling. We are intentionally keeping him sedated, and hope to see the swelling go down over the next 24 hours. That is very important. We performed surgery to address possible internal bleeding because his blood pressure was low. There was bleeding which we arrested, and we are monitoring his condition in that regard. Luckily, he did not break any bones."

"That’s my specialty. I’m an orthopedic surgeon. I flew in from San Antonio, Texas when I got the call that my brother was injured. I would like to be actively involved in his care."

"We will keep you well informed Dr. Padalecki. He’s going to be very sore. He had skin lacerations from impact, but we cleaned him up, and are watching to ensure he doesn’t develop any infections."

"Can I see him?"

"Perhaps in the morning. He is stabilized for now. There is no point staying here tonight. I won’t be out with any further updates. Go home, get some sleep, and check back with me in the morning.”

Okay, thank you doctor."

***

“Jeff, the dogs, in all the commotion I forgot about them."

"Let’s go back to Jared’s apartment, take the dogs out, get some sleep, and come back in the morning."

"Yeah, sounds good."

***

At 8 am on Sunday morning, Jeff and Leslie already showered, ate breakfast, walked the dogs, and returned to the hospital.

They spoke to the doctor. He told them that Jared’s vitals improved overnight, and they were moving him to a private room. He would not be allowed visitors just yet, but it was progress.

"Do you think I could see him when you move him to the private room?"

"I will see if we can work something out."

"I would like to read his medical chart too, please…if it were your brother in there…"

"Okay, I’ll see what I can do."

****

At 8:30 am Jeff tried reaching Eric Kripke by phone. He didn’t leave a message. On his second call, Bob Singer picked up.

"Bob, Good Morning, it’s Jeff Padalecki.”

"Good Morning Jeff, What’s up?"

"I’m calling about Jared. He’s been in an accident, and he’s in the hospital.”

"Oh no, I knew when you said it was you calling that it was not a social call"

"Yeah I'm sorry to bring bad news."

"Please, I am sorry to hear this news. How is Jared?"

"What we know is that Jared was hit by a car while cycling. He has a head injury.  He’s not awake, and we can’t see him yet. So I prefer if people do not drop by the hospital. I’m here at Vancouver General, and I will call you with any updates."

"Jeff, thanks for the call. I’m terribly sorry to hear the news. If there is anything, I can do, do not hesitate to call me. I mean it."

"I know you do."

"When he wakes up, if you think he wants company call me." 

"I will. Bob, will you tell the others? You’re the first person I notified from Jared’s work."

"Did you call Jensen?"

"He's my next call. Please tell the others, on a need to know basis only."

"Of course. I will."

Jeff held out as long as he could. He didn’t want to introduce Leslie and Jensen, mainly to protect Jared’s privacy, but he couldn’t wait any longer. At this point, he risked Jensen hearing about Jared’s accident from one of the guys at the network. 

It was about 9 am local time when Jeff placed the call. It was 11 am in Dallas.

Jensen just finished his Sunday morning, post-church, pancake breakfast with his folks. His flight to Vancouver wasn't until later that day. He planned to go to the lake with friends for a few hours. 

******

"Hello?"

"Jensen?"

"Yeah."

"It’s Jeff Padalecki."

"Hey Jeff, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Jeff paused, breathed deeply and closed his eyes. "Well Jen, I'm here in Vancouver. There’s been an accident. Jared was hit by a car on his bike. The driver was backing out of a parking spot at Sunset Beach Park. He’s in Vancouver General Hospital."

"How is he? What's his condition?"

"He has a head injury; I don’t know how severe. He is making some progress because they are moving him from ICU to a private room. They repaired some internal bleeding in surgery. No broken bones. Some skin lacerations from scraping against the pavement. We can't see him yet."

"I’m in Dallas. I’m on the next plane."

***

 Jensen arrived at Vancouver General Hospital 7 hours later.

***

Chapter Text

 

“Jensen, thanks for coming man, it’s great to see you” Jeff hugged Jensen.

“How is he?”

“As of our last update from the doctors Jared is still unconscious and they won’t let us see him.”

“What do you know about the accident?”

“Leslie was with Jared at the time. He can tell you what happened better than I can.”

“Leslie?” Jensen repeated with surprise.

he’s right here, Leslie, I would like to introduce you to Jensen Ackles. Jensen please meet Leslie King, a friend of Jared’s visiting from Austin.”  

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Leslie extended a hand to Jensen to shake.

Jensen hesitated, then extended a hand to shake Leslie’s hand.

“Um…..” Jensen tried to compose his thoughts as he looked at Leslie, a very attractive man, a few years his senior, with model looks, almost pretty.

“Um, you were with Jared at the time of the accident?” Jensen inquired taken aback.

“Yes, we were cycling, and stopped for a swim at Sunset Beach Park.”

Jensen was putting 2 and 2 together Leslie a friend of Jared’s visiting from Austin.

“You stopped for a swim with Jared?”

“Yes, we cycled the sea wall around Stanley Park, then got a bite to eat; then since it was hot, we went for a swim before continuing on.”

“Are you staying at Jared’s?”

“Yes, I’m staying with Jared at his apartment at the Majestic.”

Jensen didn’t have to ask what the sleeping arrangements were. 

Jensen’s face suddenly looked as though he smelled something bad.

Leslie saw Jensen’s stinky expression. He had to be blind not to notice it.

So this was Jared’s boyfriend. He was great looking. Jensen could see what Jared liked about him. Jensen actually thought that Leslie looked a lot like him.

In a total non sequitur Jensen asked Leslie, “What’s your ancestry? “

“I’m Scottish, Irish and English.”

“So am I, but I’m also German.”

Jensen looked Leslie up and down.  Jensen thought Leslie had a slender waist, but was a muscular guy. Leslie appeared to be the same height as Jensen, but Jensen had a 20-pound weight advantage.

Jensen puffed out his chest and stood as tall as possible.

“I have an apartment on the same floor of the Majestic. Jay and I are really close,” he emphasized.

It was the most subtle dig Jensen could proffer without seeming outright rude to the man who was apparently JARED’S BOYFRIEND! using the familiar Jay when referring to Jared, and asserting his close relationship to Jared, on the same floor.

Jensen was in a body of water; it was cold and heavy pressing against his chest. He was treading water; he couldn’t see the shore. His clothes, shoes and socks felt wet and heavy; he felt the weight of his wet clothing pulling him under. He struggled to keep his head above water; his head bobbed under and he fought for air, tilting his head back to keep his mouth above water, kicking his legs hard, pushing his head above water to get air.

“How long have you known Jared?”

“A couple of months”

“How did you meet?”

“We met at a bar in Austin”

“Which bar?”

“I doubt you’ve heard of it”

“Try me, I know a lot of bars in Austin”

“I don’t remember the name of it”

“Somehow, I doubt that”

“Ask Jared if you want to know so badly.”

“You know Jared just turned 23 right?”

“Jensen,” Jeff interjected.

“I’m going for a walk,” Leslie went to get some cold, refreshing beverages from the vending machine.

 ** 

“Jeff, did you know?”

“What specifically?”

“About Jared and Leslie?”

“Yes, Jensen I knew.”

“And you allowed it?! Why didn’t anybody tell me? How long has he known this guy? What do we even know about him?”

“Jensen take it easy. It wasn’t anyone’s place to tell you. Only Jared could share that information.”

“Two things in one week. First Jared tells me he prefers men over women. And within a week I meet his….God Damnit!”

“Jensen, the only thing we need to know about him is that Jared likes him a lot. Jared’s an adult. He makes his own decisions.”

“One hiatus and the world turns upside down! This won’t do. This won’t do at all. I don’t like him. He is an interloper. He doesn’t belong here.”

“Calm down Jensen, that ain’t so. He was invited by Jared. Jesus Jensen, it’s not a contest. We all care about Jared. Settle down.”

Jensen felt his chest tighten.

“No, I won’t settle down. Jared is my best friend, and I’m his, and there is no room for Leslie, or anyone else for that matter.”

“It’s you and only you? That’s not fair to Jared. And you’re not making sense!”

 **

Leslie came back with a selection of beverages from the vending machine, Coke water, iced tea, ginger ale, and a few crappy snacks, which was all they had to offer in the vending machine, pretzels, Fritos, Twizzlers, peanut butter cookies, trail mix.

“Just because I’m taking this soda doesn’t mean we’re friends,” Jensen announced as he took a Coke.  

“I don’t understand your hostility Jensen. Obviously, I care about Jared too.”

“You may be his friend, but I’m his best friend. We won’t have a problem as long as you understand that.”

“Okay, you out rank me on the friend hierarchy. I concede. I do not have an ego about that. My relationship with Jared is private. I don’t need others to know about me to feel like I am important to him.”

Jensen felt his hands form fists and the rage flare through his body like a sudden flame. “Are you saying I do have an ego?”

“I knew dating Jared would present challenges. I assumed that I would have rivals for his affection, but not you.”

“When he wakes up, I will be the first face he sees,” Jensen added.

As Jensen and Leslie bickered, Jared’s doctor came out to update them.

Thank God! thought Jeff. He was sure if uninterrupted, Jensen was liable to throw a punch at Leslie.

“He’s awake and he’s asking for you,” said the doctor.

“Hallelujah!" Jensen said

Leslie rolled his eyes at the religious reference, coming from a bully, he thought.

“He woke up just about 24 hours after the accident, which is what we hoped would happen.  Remaining unconscious more than 24 hours after being knocked out raises the possibility of permanent brain damage. Jared’s vision and speech are good so we are very pleased. Obviously, Jared’s brain is swollen, he has a concussion and a headache. He needs to rest for a few days. But we can let you see him now if you keep it short, don’t speak loudly or get him too excited.”

“Thank you doctor Jeff said, we will be calm and quiet and we won’t stay too long in his room.”

The three of them went to Jared’s room. When Jensen entered, he was hit with the smell of iodine first, and heard the beeps of the equipment monitoring Jared. The overhead light was off to prevent irritating Jared’s eyes, in favor of late afternoon natural light coming in the window.

They entered the room a bit further, Jensen stood at the foot of the bed. Leslie and Jeff stood on the side of the bed closest to the door, which was Jared’s left side. The monitoring equipment was on Jared’s right side.

Jensen looked at Jared lying in the hospital bed, bandages on his arm, his lower body covered by a sheet. Jared’s eyelids were heavy. He looked like he was just waking up from a knockout punch in a boxing match.

“Is it okay if I touch your foot?” Jensen asked in a quiet tone.

“Yeah my foot’s okay. Both feet are okay. I didn’t get any injuries to my feet,” Jared answered softly, smiling, obviously happy for the company.

Jensen pulled up a chair to the foot of Jared’s bed, sat on it, and began rubbing Jared’s left loot. He rubbed under Jared’s foot with his thumbs, and rubbed the top of Jared’s foot with his strong fingers. He kept doing that for the whole visit. At one point he switched feet and began rubbing Jared’s right foot.

Jensen said little. It was enough for him to see Jared and rub his feet. He was happy to be in his company touching him, physically connected to him. No words were needed.

“How ya feelin?” Jeff asked.

“I feel like I’ve been in a trash compacter everything hurts. My head hurts, and I’m hungry. I asked for pizza. They said they’re gonna bring it to me.”

“Should we send out for pizza Jeff? We can probably get better pizza and faster than the hospital can,” Jensen asked.

“No let them handle it. We want to be low key tonight so they let us visit tomorrow, but how about we bring you some of Vancouver’s best pizza tomorrow?”

“Sounds awesome,” Jared answered softly and weakly.

Leslie was the only one who hadn’t spoken yet. His gaze was fixed on Jared.

“Leslie” Jared whispered, smiling.

“Hi Jared” Leslie replied. Leslie gently touched Jared on his left upper arm with two fingers, afraid to touch Jared anywhere not knowing all his injuries and bruises.

“It’s not a very fun weekend for you,” Jared apologized to Leslie.

“Don’t worry about me. I have my laptop. I’ve been working remotely from the apartment. My business partner has the business covered.”

Jared extended the fingers on his left hand flexing them backward toward Leslie. Leslie took the signal, and let his fingers touch Jared’s.

Jensen’s eyes took in the touches between Jared and Leslie, and Jensen was not okay with Leslie touching Jared. As he watched their little encounter, his face scowled. Jensen squeezed down on Jared’s foot hard.

“Ow! Jensen are you trying to injure my foot?”

“Sorry that was an accident,” Jensen replied.

This was not okay. Jensen would make quick work of getting rid of Leslie.

 **

“You got banged up pretty good but your head is the main concern. They’re keeping a close eye on you. We’re happy you woke up, been waiting for you. We knew you could do it.” Jeff told Jared.

“What do you want me to have waiting for you when you get home Jay? I will get you anything you want.” Jensen added. He meant it wholeheartedly. He wasn’t trying to show up Leslie, at least not at the moment.

“I can’t think of anything now Jen. I really appreciate you being here, all of you. It’s really all I could ask for.”

Jensen beamed at the nickname. He called me Jen in front of Leslie!

“I’m never leaving your side,” Jensen replied.

Jensen Uber-ed from the airport to the hospital, but Leslie and Jeff came in Jared’s Expedition. It made sense to all drive back together in Jared’s vehicle.

“I’m driving,” Jensen said. “Gimme  the keys.”

Leslie handed the keys to Jensen.

 ** 

 “That guy is an asshole,” Leslie said to Jeff when they got back to Jared’s apartment.

“I’ve known Jensen a while, and I have to agree with you. Tonight he was acting like an asshole. I apologize. I’ve never seen him behave this way before.”

Chapter Text

 

 

Leslie and Jeff spent the night at Jared’s apartment and took care of the dogs.

**

On Monday morning, Leslie and Jeff took Jared’s car to the hospital. Jensen was already there, claiming his territory.

When they walked in, they found Jensen seated in a chair beside Jared’s bed, playing guitar and singing “You were always on my mind” by Willie Nelson.

“Jensen what a surprise. You’re here early” said Jeff.

Leslie frowned noting the romantic song choice by Jensen.

“Jared’s been wanting me to play guitar and sing for him since we got back from hiatus.”

“Good Morning Jared” Jeff greeted

“Morning Jared” said Leslie, positioning himself close to Jared’s bedside.

 “Good Morning,” Jared offered his finger tips to Leslie who took them in his with delight.

Jensen’s facial expression looked as though he sucked a lemon.

“Jared said he wants pizza today so I ordered it online from Luigi’s. It’ll be delivered at noon. Jared’s nurse Darlene said to order plain for Jared. His stomach is not 100% yet.”

“Thanks for being on top of that Jensen,” said Jeff.

“Thank you, Jensen,” Leslie said as a show of harmony for Jared’s benefit.

“Jared how are you feeling?” Jeff asked the patient they were all there to see.

“My head’s a little better. I’m improving I guess, maybe 20 to 30%. I think the pain meds are helping and whatever they’re giving me for the swelling. The scrapes hurt. I’m not sleeping that comfortably. When Darlene changes the dressing it’s painful.”

Jeff could barely listen – he wasn’t squeamish but the thought of his brother’s skin all scraped off gave him a chill.

“Oh bro, I hate to hear you’re in pain. I can’t even give you a love rub on the head because of your concussion. The new skin is going to grow under the abrasions and will be tender. You're just gonna have to wait for yourself to heal.”

“I'm not one for sitting still”

“I cant be much further use to you,Jay. I have to get home to my own patients in San Antonio. I’m leaving you in the capable hands of your doctors, and Leslie and Jensen.  I’ll call you everyday. Call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you for coming to me in my time of need. Give Jennie and the kids kisses for me.”

“I will. They send their love to Uncle Jared too. They’ve been asking about you constantly.”

“Love you brother”

“Love you brother”

Jeff kisses Jared on a left shoulder, a safe, non bruised area, and takes his leave of them.

“I’ll walk you out,” Leslie says to Jeff.

**

“You’re leaving me alone with that cra cra?”

“He’s harmless. He is not going to do anything in front of Jared because Jared wouldn’t like it. Don’t worry.”

**

When Leslie left the room Jared said to Jensen, “Since Leslie’s only here for today and is leaving tomorrow morning, will you give us a little time alone together? Maybe after the pizza in the afternoon when it’s time to walk the dogs”

“You want me to go home and walk the dogs while you spend time alone with Leslie?”

“Yes, would you do that for me?”

Before Jensen could answer Leslie came back in the room.

“Leslie, this afternoon after we eat pizza Jensen said he would take care of the dogs so we can spend some time alone together.”

“Thank you, Jensen,” Leslie said, surveying Jensen’s face for the real story.

Jensen’s mouth was a straight line, his eyes dark like tiny black bullets, his body stiff, and he was deadly silent.

They made nice throughout the morning while the doctors made their rounds through Jared’s room and Darlene came in multiple times with medication. She was okay with Leslie and Jensen staying while she changed Jared’s dressings, since he insisted he wanted them to stay in the room. She even gave Jared a more scaled down version of a sponge bath since he didn’t want Leslie or Jensen to have to leave the room.

And she knew while she was doing it Jensen or Leslie would have traded places with her in an instant.

Jensen steered the conversation to the topic of Supernatural because he wanted to exclude Leslie and show off, and remind Jared of all the good times they had together.

The pizza came which was a big treat for Jared.

After eating Jared looked at Jensen and gave him the signal to leave by shifting eyes and head toward the door.

Jensen was pissed.

“Leslie what time is your flight tomorrow?” Jensen asked.

“I have an early flight because we planned to have Monday night together and assumed Jared would be working Tuesday so I made it 9 am.”  

Backed into a corner, Jensen had to agree to Jared’s wishes. He would have Jared back to himself tomorrow.

“Okay then Jared if it’s your wish for me to go check on the dogs, I will gladly do it, anything you need.”

“Thanks Jen, you’re a life saver, what would I do without you?”

You’ll never have to know because you will always have me Jared, Jensen thought.

Good riddance, Leslie thought.

**

Jensen went home and got Sadie and Harley and took them for a walk. All the while he grumbled that he was on dog walking duty, while Leslie got to stay at Jared’s bedside touching fingers.

After the walk, Jensen brought the dogs back to Jared’s and fed them.

Then he snooped around Jared’s apartment.

He went in Jared’s bedroom and looked around. On the bed he saw a duffel bag with Leslie’s name embroidered on the side.

Jared had one just like it.

I bet Leslie bought it for him.

Next to the duffel were some of Leslie’s clothes. Jensen noticed the dress shirts looked fancy and expensive. One was salmon.

Who wears a salmon colored dress shirt?

Jensen recalled Jared in the orange shirt,

I bought it for a date…I got a thumbs up”

Blind with jealous rage, Jensen took Leslie's salmon  shirt and duffel bag full of clothing and threw it in the washing machine and turned on the water on the hot setting.

Then Jensen searched Jared’s closet and found the orange shirt, white jeans, and Jared’s duffel bag with his name embroidered on the side.

He threw them into the washing machine too. He  added detergent and a cup of liquid Clorox bleach and closed and ran the washer.

Then Jensen turned off his phone and went for a 5 mile run. He went home that night and read the 5 love languages, which he took from Jared’s apartment. He confirmed his primary love language was physical touch. He went to bed mad.

**

The next morning when Jensen knew Leslie would be boarding his plane, he went to the hospital to see Jared. Finally, alone at last. He couldn’t wait to have Jared to himself.

When Jensen entered Jared’s hospital room, Jared seethed at him.

“You asshole! How could you do that? What is wrong with you? Why? Tell me why? Why would you interfere with my chance for love and happiness?”

“You say you’re my best friend, who does that? You destroyed a precious gift I got from Leslie, and his clothes, and my orange shirt! It was more than just a shirt to me. I wore it the night Leslie and I first made love. it was a memory and had sentimental value and you’ve taken that away from me”

Jared was crying.

“You’re so selfish. You’ve ruined my happiness.”

“Jared please let me explain,” Jensen said placing a hand over Jared’s left hand

“Do not touch me! “Jared said pushing Jensen’s hand away.

Jensen felt like he was being hit by a hundred darts.

“I’m sorry Jared. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt  you.”

“Do you know Jensen how lonely I am? How I’ve longed for a lover? And finally I meet someone special, who cares about me, who loves me, and helps me first love myself, and wants me to soar, and you’ve tried to chase him away!”

Jared sobbed.

“Jared I’m sorry. Please give me a chance to explain.”

“No! Go! Leave. I don’t want to see you again!”

“Jared please let me make it up to you.”

“No! Get Out! Go! I hate you!”

**

Jensen was so upset when he went to his car that he didn’t trust himself to drive. He called Jeff at his medical office, and told the office staff it was an emergency.

Jeff, generous as always, came to the phone, and stayed on the phone with Jensen, even when he learned it was not a health emergency for Jared.

“What in the world is going on with you Jensen, what’s eating you?”

“Jeff I’m confused about my feelings for Jared.”

Jeff knew he was in over his head now.

“Jensen, you need to apologize to Jared and to Leslie. Then if he’ll listen, you need to express what you’re feeling to Jared. That’s my best advice.”

“Do you think you could get Jared to talk to me again?”

“I will feel him out when I talk to him later. In the meantime, don’t do anything crazy.” 

Jensen went to Jared’s and took the dogs out for a run, and fed them.

***

He really screwed up.

He looked at his phone…no messages

**

Jensen wanted to sleep in Jared’s bed, but he knew Leslie slept in it, so he changed the sheets. That night he slept in Jared’s bed.

The next morning, Jensen got up early after sleeping poorly. He looked at his phone. It was 4:45 am. Still no messages.

Jensen decided to get to the hospital early and be there when Jared woke up. Even better, he would bring the dogs. Jared would want to see Sadie and Harley, and couldn’t kick him out with the dogs there. It would give him a chance to talk Jared into giving him another chance.

Jensen got to the hospital at 5:30 am when there was still a skeleton crew. There was only one person at the reception desk, and the lobby was quiet. If Jensen could make it by reception, he could seek shelter in the stairwell. Then he could climb the 4 flights of stairs to get to Jared’s floor. Then he could run into Jared’s room, and lock the door behind him.

Jensen made a run for it. He was through the lobby so fast that the desk person, an older gentleman, didn’t have time to figure out what was happening. He was probably calling security but Jensen had a head start.

Jensen flew up the stairs. He knew Jared’s room was right by the stairwell on the 4th floor. If he could get in and lock the door, it would be a long time before security could determine his whereabouts.

Jensen flew through the door into the hospital hallway, and through the door of Jared’s room with the dogs in seconds. He tried to lock the door.

“Oh Shit! Damn, there’s no lock on the door!”

Jensen moved a chair against the door and tried to jam it under the door handle.

“Hmmm they must have thought of that too.”  

That didn’t really work either.

Jared was awake, the dogs were barking at Jared’s scent, circling his bed, and trying to jump up onto him, but he was too high. They were able to rest their front legs on the side of his bed, and he pet them with his good arm.

“Sadie girl, Harley, mm, mm, mm,” he kissed them.

Jared was happy to see the dogs. He was homesick and wanted to get out of this hospital.

“Jared, I came to apologize. I was selfish and immature. I was jealous, and I behaved badly. Please forgive me, I’m begging you.”

Jared was still sore at Jensen. He turned his face away.

Jensen got on his knees at the side of the bed and begged Jared.

“Jared, I know this doesn’t make sense to you now but I am begging you. Please give me another chance. Just take me back as a friend. Let me spend some time alone with you so I can explain.”

“No, I will not reward your behavior”

“I'm sorry Jared. I really, really am.”

“You punished me because I wanted to be alone with Leslie. That was vindictive.”

“No Jared. That’s not it. I did not want to punish you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was jealous of your relationship with Leslie, and I just acted stupid. Please Jared you have to forgive me. I will do anything.”

“You embarrassed me by being so immature. You owe Leslie an apology you can start with that.”

You can start with that. That sounded a little hopeful to Jensen.

“I will apologize to Leslie.”

“He thinks you’re a pretty big prick.”

“I was a prick, you’re right. Jared, I will apologize to him. I will write him an apology.”

“And mean it.”

“I will mean it, a sincere apology. I’m sorry I was a dick. Please give me a chance to explain.”

“You better have a really good explanation for ruining my life.”

“I will make it up to you. I promise.”

”Does this mean you’ll let me back in your life? I can stay?”

“I will give you a chance to make it up to me Jensen, but you better get the dogs home or they’ll ban you from the hospital.”

“You’re right, if they find out it was me, they will ban me from coming back.  I’ll take them home now and come right back”

“Bring me candy”

“Okay”

Jensen got the hell out of there with the dogs the same way he came in.

Security was looking for him. They were going from floor to floor. He moved fast, and before long he was in the car and driving away. It was worth it. Jared was taking him back.

**

Darlene went into Jared’s hospital room.

“Jared I told them my floor was all clear. They started looking for the dogs up here and I quickly got them off the floor”

“Thanks Darlene”

“Don’t do that again”

“Do you think I can control Jensen? He is completely out of control, and not his usual predictable self lately. In fact, he’s been acting outrageously.”

**

Jensen went home and dropped off the dogs. He stopped at the drugstore and bought a full size paper grocery bag of all kinds of candy and gum. Jared liked gum too. He also bought shampoo and conditioner. Because of Jared’s concussion, they hadn’t washed his hair, and Jensen knew Jared liked his hair to look good.

**

Jensen was back at the hospital in record time.

"Start making it up to me." 

"My feelings are foreign to me Jared. I'm having feelings I don't understand and do not know how to manage. I don't know how to act or express myself." 

***

When Darlene came in to bathe Jared she stopped midway through.

“Jensen, I have to get to a patient who really needs me. Want to take over for me here?”

Darlene left them alone on purpose.

***

Jensen lowered the bed so that Jared was lying flat. He helped Jared off with his hospital gown, covering Jared’s lower half with the gown and a sheet.

Jensen slowly began washing Jared under his arm, and down his side. He applied liquid soap with his hands, and rubbed it gently on Jared’s skin. Then, he dipped the washcloth in the warm steamy water, in the small tub Darlene filled to just the right temperature, and he rinsed Jared’s skin with it.

Jensen moved to Jared’s chest soaping him up with his hand. Jensen enjoyed rubbing the soap on Jared’s stomach, careful not to tickle him.

Jared would sometimes close his eyes and just focus on the sensation of Jensen’s hands touching him.

Jensen moved to Jared’s opposite side.

Jared was hard now, and it was going to be difficult to hide it from Jensen. He didn’t make a move to hide it.

Jensen was also hard, achingly hard.

Jensen left the sheet across Jared’s hips, and washed Jared’s legs one at a time. He focused on the tops of Jared’s thighs, knees and calves, until he was done washing Jared's front. 

“Okay we can gently flip you over now. Careful of the bandages. Good, easy now.”

Jensen started at Jared’s shoulders, and moved down to his upper back, washing Jared inch by inch. He massaged his back with soapy hands, turning the bath into a lengthy massage. Then Jensen rinsed Jared’s back with the warm water and washcloth.

Jensen washed Jared’s butt. He massaged the muscular globes with strong hands digging into the muscles.

“You’ve got kettle bells for butt cheeks now.”

“That’s from hundred of squats”

“I like it. You look great, Jared. Your hard work in the gym paid off.”

“Thank you.” Jared still loved verbal compliments, and was getting better at accepting them.

Jensen washed the back of Jared’s legs, and  Jared’s feet.

When he finished bathing Jared, he gingerly turned him back onto his back.

Jared’s arousal was impossible to overlook.

“Wash my face,” Jared asked Jensen softly.

Jensen dabbed the washcloth on Jared’s face. He leaned in close to Jared, looking at his face to wash it.

Jared took his hand, and placed it behind Jensen’s head, applying the most subtle pressure.

Jensen answered with a kiss on Jared’s lips.

As Jensen leaned in, Jared whispered to him, “touch me, please, Jensen.”

Jensen understood.

Jensen reached under Jared’s sheet and took Jared into his hands. As Jared’s excitement rose, Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared’s lips. Their lips were joined when Jared climaxed into Jensen’s fist.

Jared’s face, at the moment of climax, was seared into Jensen’s memory as the most beautiful and poignant moment of Jensen’s life.

Jared pulled Jensen close to his body.

“Jensen touch yourself for me. Let me watch you.”

Jensen didn’t need persuading.

Without words, Jensen opened his pants and revealed himself to Jared, his hand slick with Jared’s cum.

He was barely able to support his own weight as he leaned against Jared’s bed, touching himself. It only took a few strokes before he shuddered into Jared’s chest. He opened his mouth in search of Jared’s lips, kissing him and absorbing Jared’s mouth, as he quaked, spilling hot white lava into his hand. And he wept.

*****

They lay side by side in Jared’s hospital bed. The sun was setting and the light in the room was low.

“I understand now what I’ve been feeling Jared, love. I never conceived that this was possible, you and me.” 

“Neither did I, not really, but when you started touching me, I began to think it might be a possibility. And when you were washing me, I felt something coming through, strong emotion.”

”love Jared”

"Can I trust you Jensen? Is this love? Or is it a jealous and competitive nature?”

 “I may be those things Jared, but that’s not why I love you. I love you because you give my soul loft; You awaken my spirit; You make my heart feel. I’m not just going through the motions of sex anymore.”

”Jared, do you plan to give up Leslie for me?”

”Yes Jensen, because I love you. I’ve loved you since I met you. When I was with Leslie, I had no idea being with you was an option. I don’t feel good about hurting Leslie’s feelings.”

“I’m sorry if it's selfish Jared, but I want all of your sweat and bodily fluids to be mine and only mine.”

 “I don’t know whether to be happy or grossed out by that statement. I love you too Jensen.”

They kiss. 

 **

End of Part 1