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Not An Angel

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Aziraphale had gone to bed with pleasant thoughts on his mind. The date had been so wonderful and every moment with Crowley had him happy as could be. He slept peacefully, entirely at ease until something began to rouse him. A smell. 

 

The man shot up from his bed to a sitting position. It was a dream? No. No he could smell it and it was getting stronger and by God he couldn't mistake that smell for anything else! Dogs came close but a true wolf- they smelled rancid. 

 

His fight or flight sense was kicking in full force, terror coursing through his veins. And then there came a knock at his front door. A harsh knock, loud and accompanied by- 

 

"Aziraphale! Open up, it's me!" 

 

Before Crowley could hit the door again, it was swinging open. Aziraphale's eyes were wide with fear and a protective fury that anyone in their right mind would be terrified of. 

 

He couldn't even get a word in before the pajama clad vampire was ushering him inside, locking the door, and bringing him to the couch. Crowley kept his mouth shut as Aziraphale began fretting over him, looking at the gash on his face. A hand trailed over the fabric covering the one on his chest- he must be able to sense it. 

 

"Don't move, I'll be right back."

 

With that he ran off upstairs to grab what he could to help with the still bleeding wounds. He smelled so horrible, those marks were clearly from a werewolf, and he was alive from an attack! But why had he been attack- his own scent! But that had never happened before! 

 

Aziraphale made his way back to Crowley who had removed his shirt. He put some bandages on it as best he could but the blood was still leaking through. 

 

He moved back over and shifted a stool to sit on, beginning to ever so gently dab a cloth at Crowley's clawed face. 

 

Crowley's eyes were shut as Aziraphale worked, thankful that his boyfriend was unaffected by the bloodshed. He had control, he had love, and Crowley was terrified as to what could be found out now. It would be so simple. 

 

"Crowley, how did this happen..? Where did you go- what did you do?"

 

Crowley let out a long sigh, his glasses being slipped off to better get at those gashes. 

 

"I went home. I was attacked in my own home…"

 

He hissed when Aziraphale put a bit of something in the wound on his face. It was cold and stung, but he knew it would help. 

 

"Ran them off. Got what I could from-"

 

"You ran them off?! How? And you should be dead- how many were there?"

 

Crowley took in a deep breath before slowly letting it out in a hiss. The bandages on his chest were really starting to sting as that adrenaline wore off. 

 

"Two."

 

Aziraphale dabbed the medicine in those wounds until he was satisfied, not wanting to see how bad that chest wound was. 

 

"Why didn't you go to a hospital?"

 

Crowley swallowed thickly, feeling tears well up. He grit his teeth as Aziraphale began gently removing the bandages. 

 

"Trust you more." 

 

He hissed through his teeth, jaw clenching harder as Aziraphale pulled the cloth away. 

 

"My God, how are you even-" 

 

Aziraphale glanced at his face before putting a hand over the wounds. He shut his eyes tightly, beginning to softly murmur as he'd done before. Crowley slowly opened his eyes, stealing a peek at what Aziraphale was doing. He couldn't help but stare as he saw his flesh literally shutting before him. 

 

Aziraphale stopped once the wounds stopped bleeding, hand dropping as his head drooped. He swallowed thickly, keeping his eyes shut as he tried to regain himself. His head was spinning from the effort of doing something so grand and he was so out of practice with large acts of magic.

 

Crowley slowly moved a hand up to touch his chest. It still ached but it wasn't bleeding and open and… wow… 

 

"Give me a moment, I can't… world is spinning."

 

Crowley shut his eyes and leaned back in his spot. The pain was so much less now, he felt at ease almost. He might even be able to get some rest now. 

 

Aziraphale took his time before he opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, rubbing at his face. He felt absolutely drained now, not in a physical sense, but he would be alright. He looked up at Crowley, watching as his chest slowly rose and fell. 

 

Aziraphale picked the medicine back up, spread it on a cloth, and moved forward. 

 

"Crowley? A-Are you awake, my dear?"

 

"Yes…"

 

"I'm going to put new bandages on your chest, dear. But I need to put medicine on your cuts."

 

Crowley took in a deep breath and slowly let it out, bracing himself for the sting. Aziraphale furrowed his brows, bracing himself for the inevitable. He gently touched the cloth to the top wound, Crowley slowly hissing through his teeth.

 

"It's alright my dear. I'll take care of you.." 

 

Crowley let out a slight whine as the pain got to be nearly too much. Aziraphale took a pause, running a hand gently down Crowley's arm. 

 

"Breathe for me. I have to put this on so you don't catch an infection."

 

Crowley groaned and put a hand to his face. He wanted so badly to just touch, to slam it against his face, to have something covering it.

 

"Just do it!"

 

Crowley snapped, Aziraphale biting his bottom lip. He took in a shuddering breath before quickly spreading the medicine over the other wounds. Crowley's hands gripped tight enough to destroy the plush fabric of Aziraphale's couch, the man letting out pained groans and whines as his Angel did his best. 

 

Crowley didn't even know when he was moved forward, bandages being wrapped around his chest. He only noticed something was different when he was carefully picked up from his spot, being carried upstairs. 

 

He couldn't even hear Aziraphale's soft murmurs and reassurances. Before long he found himself unconscious from the stress and pain, a limp thing in Aziraphale's grasp. 

 

 __________

 

Aziraphale had made sure to clean Crowley up the best he could. The wounds were bandaged on his face, his clothing removed and his body cleaned. Aziraphale put some of his own pajamas on Crowley, thankful for the drawstrings on the pants. Without them Crowley would have to hold them up. 

 

He remained next to Crowley as he rested, fear still coursing through him. That scent wasn't going away. He knew it was coming from Crowley but it had to be from that attack. And now there was the possibility of Crowley turning. He wasn't sure on how exactly it worked but he was petrified at the idea. 

 

"Ngl…"

 

Crowley's soft groan had Aziraphale quickly moving closer, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Hush, I'm here."

 

Crowley opened his eyes the slightest bit to look up at his Angel only to shut them and groan, curling into himself more. Aziraphale shushed him again, petting sweetly down his arm. 

 

"Not safe."

 

Crowley huffed, attempting to move. Aziraphale was quick to guide him back down, even going so far as to shift his eyes red and focus if someone were to steal a peek again. He might actually be able to do something while his love was weak. 

 

"You are safe with me, dear. I promise. I won't- this is my fault and I won't let it happen again. I promise you."

 

Crowley opened his eyes again, only for his body to go slack. His focus was entirely on Aziraphale the second they'd made eye contact and the vampire could finally see those eyes in the light. 

 

That was not what he wanted to see. Aziraphale's breath hitched as he looked deeply into those golden eyes. Crowley managed to blink away that control, burying his face in the pillow even if it stung. 

 

Aziraphale slowly let out his breath, beginning to tremble as he looked Crowley over. That smell hadn't gone away. It wasn't even dissipating! And his eyes !

 

He felt something warm slip down his cheek, vision getting cloudy. This was all his fault. This was entirely his fault and Crowley was one of them now! He swallowed thickly, hesitantly moving a hand back to pet over Crowley's shoulder and side. 

 

To say he was terrified was an understatement but this was Crowley ! He would never try and hurt him! And it was his fault, he couldn't just abandon him! 

 

Aziraphale shut his eyes, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop flowing. Even if he was scared, even if Crowley was going to shift into an abomination every full moon, he would still love the man. Or die trying. 

 

With that solidified in his mind, he opened his eyes. He looked exactly the same. 

 

"... I love you, Crowley."

 

And I'm so sorry.

 

He wiped his eyes again, able to sense when his boyfriend slipped back into a much needed rest. He was glad that bit of control worked. Crowley needed as much sleep as he could get. 

 

___________

 

When morning came around, Aziraphale was in awe. The wounds on Crowley's face were nothing more than scratches and the ones in his chest, even with his help, he could sense they were the same. The blood didn't flow as closely to the surface and it was an incredible sight to see him heal so much through the night hours. 

 

When Crowley shifted for the first time that morning, he curled up on his side and pulled a pillow closer to his face. He seemed to like hiding his face when he was uncomfortable. 

 

"Hush, it's quite alright now."

 

Aziraphale's voice was gentle as he pet through Crowley's hair. The man let out a sleepy humm, nuzzling down into his pillow. It was cute. 

 

"Good morning, my dear." 

 

He leaned down and gave Crowley a small kiss on the cheek. He made sure to hold his breath when he got that close, though. He couldn't stand that smell. 

 

"Are you feeling better?"

 

Crowley slowly came to his senses at that question, the memories of last night flowing back. His body went rigid before he sat straight up. Aziraphale jumped back, eyes wide as Crowley blindly felt around for his glasses. When he found them he slipped them on, gaze settling on a terrified Aziraphale. 

 

He was sitting at the edge of the bed, trembling the slightest bit as he stared Crowley down. Crowley met eyes with him, holding his breath. 

 

He knew. He was scared and he knew! 

 

"Crowley, I-I'll be honest with you. I'm absolutely terrified but I will help you as best I can."

 

Crowley could only stare at him as he held his ground. He wasn't running. He could smell the pure fear in the air but Aziraphale was choosing him. Slowly, oh so slowly, he moved to lie back down.

 

He saw Aziraphale start to calm down, the tension in him lessening just the slightest bit. He ran a hand over his face, hissing through his teeth at the tenderness. Wounds were healing but they always got so tender. 

 

"I'm sorry, Angel…"

 

Crowley's voice was soft as he turned his head away. He took those glasses right back off, setting them aside. He should've said something earlier. 

 

"S-Sorry for what? My… I'm why they attacked you, right? Th-They smelled me." 

 

Crowley let out a long sigh, turning onto his side to look Aziraphale over. He was still on the edge of the bed, so close to falling off just to get away. It was a sad sight. 

 

"Yeah, my old pack is filled with idiots." 

 

Aziraphale's entire body froze. Old pack? 

 

"I'm sorry I never told you… I shouldn't have…"

 

Crowley took a breath, looking Aziraphale in the eyes now. 

 

"I should have been honest with you."

 

Aziraphale let out a shuddering breath, panic taking over as he realized he'd been so close to a werewolf this entire time. But this was Crowley ! He wasn't an abomination and- he disappeared on a full moon that night! Yes, that night they slept together had been a full moon! 

 

He remembered staring at the sky and feeling so broken after bedding him, not to mention the ache in his heart when Crowley ran away. Sure it had been for food but… They had quite a relationship going, that was for sure. 

 

"H-How long?" 

 

Crowley sighed, shutting his eyes. 

 

"Whole life, Angel. Mother had me on a full moon too."

 

He ran a hand over his face again, keeping it there this time. He didn't care if it stung he just needed something covering it. 

 

"Oh… well… I-I had no idea." 

 

Crowley turned away from him, pulling the blankets up. He winced as the motion ran fabric over his chest wounds. Those were very tender. 

 

"I know how to control it. I'm not some monster. I just need time alone on full moons. Not easy to control then."

 

He held a pillow close to himself, not caring that it pressed pain into his chest. 

 

"So I lock myself in my basement- or I used to. Can't anymore. They'll be hunting me." 

 

Aziraphale slowly, ever so slowly, found himself creeping on the bed towards Crowley. He paused a foot away, hand hovering over his boyfriend's shoulder. He took in a deep breath and gently set it down, giving him a soft squeeze. 

 

"I know you won't hurt me."

 

Aziraphale breathed, taking a moment to catch his breath. He'd just been breathing so shallowly, unable to really calm himself. 

 

"I trust you."

 

Crowley stayed motionless as he felt Aziraphale lie behind him, keeping that hand on his shoulder. He was still shaking, it was moving the bed for heaven's sake, but he was here. And he was trying. 

 

"Trust you too, Angel."

 

He found himself turning over to face Aziraphale, his love trying his best not to bolt. He stayed where he was though fear was still written all over his face. He couldn't help it. That smell kept sending him back to that horrid place, to the battlefield. 

 

"Think you can still love a mutt?"

 

He asked, giving the slightest if grins. He even opened his eyes, finally showing Aziraphale what true beauty his face held. 

 

Even if those eyes were the same, even if they haunted his worst nightmares, somehow they seemed so right on Crowley. Beautiful, gentle, filled with love and oh so much more. 

 

"Only if you can love a leech…"

 

Why they were using such derogatory terms for one another he didn't know but that was one of the common shorter ones. Usually it was a blood sucking parasite or something far more creative and vile. 

 

"Last I checked, you're an Angel."

 

Crowley inched closer, Aziraphale taking in a trembling breath. 

 

"And you, my dear, are the kindest man I have ever met. Nowhere near a mutt."

 

Crowley moved even closer, eyes peering so deeply into Aziraphale's own as if they could see his very soul. And then their lips were touching in one of the most tender kisses he had ever experienced. 

 

Aziraphale's stress finally began to melt away, his arm pulling Crowley the smallest bit closer as he deepened the kiss. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale, feeling him shiver in response. When he pulled from the kiss, his Angel was giving that half lidded gaze again. The one he always gave before showing Crowley just what he was capable of. 

 

"I love you."

 

Crowley breathed, Aziraphale closing the distance between them shortly after. Crowley gripped at Aziraphale's shirt as he felt hands roam his back, that tongue lick his lips, his own need beginning to grow. 

 

Aziraphale pulled away after a few seconds, tilting his head down. Crowley kissed his forehead, petting a hand through his hair. 

 

"I love you too, but you stink ."