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Running in Space

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“Hey Lee!” I call from the the open Medbay doors. His head raises from his PADD to make a quick assessment of my condition. Satisfied when he sees that I am, in fact, in one piece, points to his office giving me the silent command to wait for him.

Leonard McCoy was often visited by his little sister. It didn’t matter to him that you were an adult or that you were one of the best in your field. To him you’ll always be his baby sister, not ready for the harsh world and every request needed to be indulged.

Medbay was pretty busy this morning. Full of red shirts from engineering and a few science officers from the chem lab. I remember they had a little bit of a fire last night. The whirring of the biobeds and the harsh white lighting of the room was comfortable and familiar. I spent a lot of my free time coming to see Leonard here. I really don’t have to as he comes up to the bridge often enough to talk with Jim, but this is more quiet.

Entering his office I quickly sat at his desk and rifled through his drawers before spinning myself in circles in his cushy chair. It wasn’t long before he was done and joined me looking every bit as grumpy as he did yesterday.

“You know that’s my chair you’re sitting in sweetheart, it’s not a toy.” He looked at me with a resting bitch face. Most people would think Lee was scowling, but knowing him for as long as I have, I learned to read the micro-expressions. This one read, I’ve got work to do make this quick. Please. “Also don’t call me ‘Lee’. This is a mission Y/N. It’s work time.”

“What, so I’m not allowed to call my own brother by his name for the next 4 years?” I scowl at him. “Whatever.”

Lee just stood there and looked at me pointedly.

“Whatever Leonard. Better?” All he did was raise an eyebrow at me. So infuriating.

“Whatever Lieutenant Commander Doctor Leonard McCoy.” I thro my hand to my hips and match his gaze. “Is that sufficient?”

“We could honestly just go with Dr. McCoy in Medbay.” He chuckled a bit. “Seriously, what are you doing down here? You know I’ve got a busy day here. It’s like the entirety of the 4th deck is injured.”

“Lee,” I started, “Spock thinks I may be sick. I mean I did throw up earlier, but I think it must of been something I ate. I don’t feel sick, ya know?”

I didn’t tell him that it’s been happening for over a week, but Spock just happened to catch me this morning puking into a sink in the Level 8 bio-lab. I’ve been so tired with all my long nights doing the cell research and filing reports for the planet we’ve been exploring. Being on the ground crew was fun and all, but it was starting to honestly freak me out that I might have contracted something while down there.

“Hop on over to bay two. We’ll get some blood and do your physical while we’re at it.” He says still typing on his PADD. “I swear you’re just as bad as Jim when it comes to getting your physicals done.”

The mention of Jim made me feel like my chest was tightening. I’d been avoiding him lately, but Lee couldn’t see that.

As I walk over to bay two I think about the Enterprise crew to try to calm my nerves.

The bridge crew are all great friends, and to be honest we’re practically family. Jim and my brother are in a little best friend triangle with Spock. Jim is always getting in trouble, so then Lee, Spock, and Scotty have to get him out of it like the big brothers they are. Sometimes even Nyota and I would tag along. Nyota’s linguist skills always come in handy, while my bio-chemical degrees didn’t often help the situation, my mechanical engineering ones did.

Double majoring at the academy was an absolute horror show, and what made it even worse was that my big brother decided to follow complaining about his divorce. He still had an apartment and car before he left, so it wasn’t his ex-wife pushing him off planet. It was more like he wanted to keep an eye on me.
I’m not sure if I slept or ate at all during my time there. Lee once walked in on me studying while hooked up to an IV drip for fluids during a finals week. He wasn’t exactly impressed with my multitasking, but I was.

Graduating with a double major instantly afforded me a spot on the USS ENTERPRISE, which was my goal in the first place. The best part of that was the fact that Nyota negotiated, as she likes to say’ for her spot on the Enterprise Bridge and was reassigned. Our little group was almost complete.

When we had found out that Jim wasn’t being assigned a ship until the completion of his trial, Lee was forced to take drastic measures. In all honesty I couldn’t blame him. I was even prepared to hid him in one of the empty chemical containers, but my brother had it all handled.

“I can’t have you getting in trouble for a stupid decision I made [Y/N]. You know I wouldn’t do that to you, right?” He smirked that stupid knowing smirk at me that just always made me wanna punch him since we were kids. “You'd probably give his position away by getting all caught up staring at him with those heart eyes.”

“Oh shut up Lee! Now I hope you two get caught!” I called out as they sped off towards their shuttle, Jim leaning heavily on my brother.

The memory made me laugh as I jumped up onto the biobed and smoothed my skirt. Lee came in about 5 minutes later holding a tricorder and a syringe.

“You know, I’ve waited here so long I think I might turn to dust!” I say dramatically, “I mean as the Chief Medical Officers little sister you’d think I’d get better servi...”

He shut me up by sticking an old fashioned thermometer in my mouth. While he waited for that, he drew my blood and asked that Nurse Chapel come in to get it to testing.

“Hi Christine!” I try to say around the thermometer. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been doing great. By the way did you hear about what happened to Chekov during our last shore leave?” When I shook my head, she continued, “Well turns out he can sniff out alcohol where he goes. He ended up making friends with some Risian’s that make their own version of vodka, and they helped him smuggle a case on board.”

I shifted my eyes toward my brother who was moving the tricorder over my chest working his way down with a scowl. He didn’t seem to be paying any mind. Christine just chuckled a bit.

“Don’t worry about Dr. McCoy, Chekov brought him back a few bottles of bourbon.” She winked at me and turned to leave, but before the doors even opened Lee took her by the shoulder and whispered in her ear. She nodded her head quickly without turning and walked quickly down the hall.

“What was that all about?” I asked, thermometer forgotten but still present.

“I asked her to do a larger panel of tests since you’ve been on the planet.” He turned back to me, “You might want to take that rectal thermometer out of your mouth now. I think I’ve got your temp.”

I almost hit him with it when I spit it across the room.

“LEONARD!” He busted up laughing so hard he had to bend over and put his hands on his knees. When he finally calmed his laughter, he wiped a tear from his eye and took a deep breath.

“It was fresh out of the package, kid! Calm down.” He sat down next to me and ruffled my hair before pulling me in for a hug.

“S’been a while since we’ve had a talk,” his voice was softer. He turned into my big brother. Not the CMO with legendary hands or the Captain’s best friend. He was just my brother right now, and he was worried.

“Well, it’s kinda hard when you’re running around babysitting our captain and the hobgoblin. Plus I’m helping Scotty in engineering constantly. We both know that fixing things in engineering is a full time job.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair and leaned his head on top of my own. We used to fall asleep like this on long car rides with our parents.

“I know. Now Spock’s got you running around testing DNA samples. When was the last time you slept hun? You look like crap.” I let out a sigh.

“Thanks Lee.”

“Anytime.” I rubbed my eyes and tried to stifle a yawn. “But really, how are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine. There’s no real reason to be worried. I used to pull nights like this constantly at the academy, remember?”

“I remember watching my little sister be a walking zombie for 3 years.” He huffed. “ I’m going to write you up for a few days off. That way neither Spock nor Scotty can bother you unless we’re all about to die.”

“Well, we both know that the way Jim Captains this tin can, I’ll get about an hour of sleep before things start blowing up again.” We both chuckled at that.

Lee’s PADD dinged on the counter, so he gave a another squeeze before he hopes of the biobed. Scrolling through my results made the little lines in his forehead grow deeper and his brows furrow.

“Lee, am I okay?” The worry in his face was making my hear race and the bed started beeping to reflect that.

“Hey calm down sweetheart. You’re not even close to dying, okay?” He grabbed my shoulder. “Take a deep breath.”

I took a few and got my heart rate to slow again and my breathing to even out. The bed’s beeps slowed to match my pulse, getting quieter as it went down.

“There you go. Breathe. I’ve got bad news and good news. Well, good depending on how you really look at it. Which do you want first?”

“The bad news, Lee. Please.” I shifted uncomfortably. My heart rate was slowing rising again and my breathing increased.

“Deep breaths.” He smiles at me, “You’re anemic.”

“Are you kidding me! That’s it!” I poke him in the stomach. “I was practically having a heart attack here and the only problem is that I’m anemic! You’re such an ass!” I laugh, but Lee remains stoic.

“[Y/N], before I tell you the good news, I want you to know that I’m here for you. For however you want to do this. No judgment as a doctor or as your brother, okay?”

I look at him as my giggling comes to a stop. He takes my hand and sits next to me on the bed again.

“Okay, but this can’t be good news when you begin it like that.” He gives my hand a little squeeze.

“You’re pregnant.”

Time stops. Either that or I’ve gone deaf. The beeps and whirring of the bed is gone. I turn from Lee and l stare blankly at the wall for a few minutes. Lee knows better than to keep chattering on, because he knows I can’t hear him. Knows I can’t see him when I’m trying to process the atomic bomb he just dropped on me.

“Oh?” Is all that comes out of my mouth. “So the extra test was to confirm it, huh?

“Yes,” he stared at me worriedly. “If you want to keep it or if you don’t...”

“No. I’m keeping it.” All I can do is stare off into the distance. I’m pregnant? Like with a baby? With HIS baby? Oh good lord I’m so dead!

“Now, I know you’ll want to tell Nyota and Sulu and everyone, but please let me be there when you tell Jim. I wanna see his face. Or better yet let me tell him!” Leonard rambled on getting a little excited about being an uncle.

“No.” Lee turned to me and raised an eyebrow. “You can’t tell Jim.”

“That’s okay, you can just tell me his reacti...” Before he can finish I turn to him and cut him off.

“Lee! I’m not telling him. I’m not telling anyone, and neither are you.” I take a deep breath and my mind goes into planning mode.

“It’ll be three months until we hit Yorktown. It’s perfect. I’ll turn in my transfer papers in two weeks,” I looked right at him. “You’re gonna recommend that I be transferred as well, just to make sure it goes through. I can’t be here with him.”

“What are you even talking about sweetheart? Why would you need to leave?”

I looked up at my big brother. He was my favorite person in the world, and to be fair he was my best friend. Not even Nyota could compare. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but love and concern for me. How was I going to tell him that I couldn’t stay. No matter what I had to leave with my baby before anyone else on the Enterprise knew. Especially the bridge crew.

“Leonard, I need you to love me right now. I want you to just be my brother and my best friend. You’re not allowed to get angry at me or be disappointed in me okay?” Tears sprung to my eyes at the thought of him being disappointed in me. Lee pulled me into a tight hug and just held me.

“Okay. I promise. Now take some deep breaths and tell me.” Leonard was worried beyond belief. He didn’t want his little sister to transfer off the ship. He knew he’d miss his peach too much.

“So... like I can’t be here... here like the... as in the Enterprise, the dad can’t know about the baby Lee. Ever,” a few tears making tracks down my red cheeks. “He can’t know. He’ll either take my baby away or he won’t care about us. I can be here anymore Lee.”

Lee looked at me and I swore I could see the lightbulb turn on inside his head. He spoke softly, but I can feel the barely contained anger in his voice.

“Did someone take advantage of you [Y/N]?” I can feel him hold me tighter if that was even possible.

“No. No. If it was anyone taking advantage, it was me.” I say as I let go of his and run my hands up and down my face. “We were drunk, but he was way farther gone then I was. I mean granted I was having a hard time remembering my left from my right at that point, but...”

“Who was?” I can feel him losing his patience.

“Lee,” I look my brother right in the eyes, “it was Jim.”

Dead silence.

It’s just as bad if not worse as when Lee told me I was pregnant not 5 minutes ago. He just stares at me for a good minute before running a hand through his hair and standing up to pace the small bay.

“I think I’m going to kill him for real this time,” he growls. “No special Khan blood to save him this time.”

I stand up and stop him mid-stride. I poke my finger in to the middle of his chest and I look right into those eyes our mama gave him.

“Leonard Horatio McCoy. You are not going to kill your best friend and the father of your nephew or niece.” I jabbed my finger into his chest again. “Do you understand.”

“Yes,” He grumbles at me. “He wasn’t supposed to touch you. He knew you were off limits.”

I sigh and grab his hand. He’s changed since meeting Jim. Back to his old self before all the hatred and screaming. Before Jocelyn shattered his heart. Sure he was still a grumpy old protective dad type, but Lee had always been that way. Thinking that Jim could betray his trust like this would crush him and bring him back to ground zero.

“Lee you have to understand, Jim doesn’t remember sleeping with me. He was a whole bottle of Li’noarian Whiskey. My drunk self took advantage of that, and I’m sorry. It was just a one night stand and he was too drunk to remember.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “Please don’t blame him. He doesn’t know, and now he really can’t know about this.” I place my hand on my nonexistent baby bump. He just looks at me and smiles a little bit.

“You have to tell him.”

“Lee! I’m not telling him anything. I’ve been avoiding him since that night! It’s already been a month, so what’s another three right?”

“You know that’s not a good idea, right?” He sits me back down on the biobed and sits himself on a small rollie still in front of me. “He’s the father of this baby 100%,” he raised an eyebrow, and I rolled my eyes but nodded. “which means he deserves to know. It’s his kid too even if the idiot doesn’t remember making it.”

“I’ll think about it okay? I’m going back to my room, but give me some anti-nausea meds first, please.” I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before I leave with my drugs.

————

To say that Nyota was excited was an understatement. She practically jumps of my little sofa back in my quarters. Pulling me off the couch too and into a warm and loving embrace.

“Is this why you haven’t been working on the bridge lately? Kirk’s been wondering why you switched you’re own assignment to the Engineering levels.” The mention of Jim made my eyes sting a little. “He tried to request you for the new away mission, but your file turned up on Medical lockdown. At least now we know why. Oh honey I’m so happy for you.”

“Nyota, you have to keep this a secret. Like super secret. No one can ever know. I only told you because you’re my best friend.”

“Honey, I’m pretty sure everyone’s gonna know when your belly gets big enough that you can’t see your toes.” She giggles and it’s hard not to find her beautiful. Her dark hair and gorgeous brown almond eyes that crinkled at the corner when she smiled. It was easy to see what everyone was saying about her when we were at the academy.

Since I am on leave for a few days to rest thanks to Lee, we are just chilling in my quarters wearing sweats and old T-shirts. Nyota always looks good even in her lazy day clothes. High end practically fashionable enough to go out in sweats and a black long sleeve shirt is something she could definitely pull off. I look down at my own outfit. Leonard’s sweats from when he used to play for the school baseball team, a pair of fluffy socks that Sulu and his husband got me for Christmas last year, and Jim’s old Starfleet workout shirt. I smile sometimes it still smells like him. Like fresh wheat and the ocean.

“Kirk is going to go mad with jealousy!” She says, instantly pulling me from my thoughts.

“Why would he be jealous, Ny?”

She just looks at me like I’m stupid for a few second before speaking again. “He’s had a thing for you for years! Everyone knew at the academy, I mean didn’t you ever wonder why it was so hard to get a date for you?” She gives me a little smirk. “Now that you’re all pregnant, he’s going to know you finally found somebody, and his chance with you is gone.”

“Ny,” I try to take a sip of water, but it end up going down the wrong pipe. Holding my chest as my coughing fit continues for an awkwardly long time, I feel her start to pat and rub my back.

“Who is the luck guy anyway?” Her eyes grew comically wide, “Please tell me it’s not Chekov. Please he’s barely an adult now!” The mock horror in her voice made me giggle a little.

“Oh god if only. That would make this so much easier.” I take a deep breath and look her right in the eye. “It’s...” I panic, “Scotty’s.”

Oh my god that is the worst lie I’ve ever told.

She screams. Like actually screams. I’m so surprised by it that I almost fall to the floor. She just decides to stare at me after she closes her mouth.

I hear the key pad out side my door being used. It didn’t surprise me, someone had to hear her scream. I didn’t even think to turn on the soundproofing. It was going to either be Medical or Security using one of their override codes. If they think you’re in danger they’re coming in.

What truly knocks me to the floor is when the doors open and rushing in isn’t a med team or the security boys, but Jim. Standing there panting holding on to his phaser. He looks at me and Nyota before taking in the rest of the room. His perfect timing makes Nyota scream again.

“Hi [Y/N],” he says awkwardly. “Sorry I used the override. I kinda thought you were getting attacked by some Klingons or something.” He looked at me and smiled that breath taking smile. The one that makes every gal melt right at his feet. “What are you two ladies doing today?”

“Oh you know us Jim. Just discussing what bag goes best with my regulation uniform.” Nyota smiles and bats her eyelashes before dropping the act.

Jim just gives her a look. The one that says “wow thanks” and “you’re lucky we’re friends” all in one go.

“Actually I was coming to speak with you Lieutenant McCoy. Lieutenant Uhura could you please give us some time to speak alone.”

“Yes Captain.” Nyota squeezes my hand, gives Kirk a little side eye, and leaves my quarters probably in route for her own.

Jim sat down as the door swooshed shut. He just looked down at his hands for a moment, and didn’t look like he was going to be saying anything anytime soon, so I spoke up myself.

“Captain, you came here to speak with me about something?” It seemed to snap him out of his day dreams. Jim straighten up and squared his shoulders.

“Yes Lieutenant, I came to ask you about your request to transfer when we reach the next docking station.” He looked at me, “You were specially chosen for this assignment just like the other members of the Enterprise. You are an integral part of the crew.”

“I wouldn’t have make the short list if it wasn’t for you or Lee and you know that Jim,” I laughed at him a little. “I am damn good at my job, but you and I both know that even though I was striving for the Enterprise I was supposed to be on the Reagan.”

“Well we both know that you’re lying to yourself and to me. Even Spock knows you’re the best!” He stands up and starts pacing back and forth running his hands through his hair. “The only reason I did anything was because every Captain wanted you, ya know.”

“Jim...”

“Don’t “Jim” me. You know I’m right.” His blue eyes locked on to mine. “So why do you want to leave?”

I just look at him. I know I can’t tell him the truth.

“I just want to leave, Jim. I don’t feel like I want to be on the Enterprise anymore.” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, “That’s it. Nothing special or secretive. No problems. I just want to go home to be honest, but another ship will have to do for now.”

Jim just stood there for a second. Lost for words for what must of been the third time in his life. The first being when Bones told him that he had a sister, and the second when Bones introduced the two of you.

“Jim, you good?” That snapped him out of his little moment.

“Yes, I’m going to approve your request, but as you know it also has to be approved by other people.” I open my mouth to speak but he beats me to it, “I won’t pressure anyone to make you stay on the Enterprise. Only glowing reviews Lieutenant.”

“Thank you Captain.” I say as he turns and leave the room. The swoosh of my door shutting feels like the pressure has been lifted off my shoulders. I plop myself down into my bed and place my hands over my lower belly.

“Maybe I’ll tell him about you after you graduate high school or the Star Fleet Academy or something.” I chuckle to myself a little. “Your mommy is just a little scared.”

————