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Heaven's feel

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In a sense, Uther already had children albeit bastards, a boy, and a girl. Morgan was the eldest, but it was most likely that Mordred would rule, being a boy and all, all Uther would need to do was legitimize his children. But He had been told by one of the Fae, a friend of Merlin's, that if either child ruled the Pendragon name would be forgotten, or worse be seen as a mistake of a monarchy. Something that Uther Pendragon did not want to happen. His father Constantine the third had wanted their rule to be remembered as the greatest rule of all time, and Uther shared his father's wish. He sighed, Merlin, a prankster magus he hardly got along with but trusted completely, had already foreseen that the Pendragon rule would end with the next generation, but if they had the perfect king the Pendragons would at least be remembered as the greatest of all rules. Uther sighed, knowing full well what this meant, they'd need to create a third child, but upon looking at his children and himself, he realized the dragon magic the monarchy had would soon disappear. Merlin simply looked at him, as if the answer was obvious. The child would need to be a dragon in human form, something not fully human. All they'd need to do was combine some dragon blood with his and another woman. Igraine the wife of one of his servants was the perfect hostess for such a thing. She, who was no magus but possessed a strange sort of anti-magic would not die when she drank dragon blood. No other woman could be found like her, so she was the perfect host. 

Unfortunately, she was married. Of course, they could simply have had sex unmarried for it's not uncommon to have an extramarital affair. Not all marriages are happy enough for an affair to not happen. Gorlois was a plain old man. Never been handsome in his life. Igraine was a beauty, Uther devilishly handsome. With such a group it would be expected an affair would happen. But the child needed to be legitimate, a bastard would not be able to succeed over his other bastard siblings. 

Merlin, to his knowledge, had convinced Gorlois to end his marriage with Igraine. Merlin simply said he took him to the lady of the lake, who showed him a vision of the desired child. Uther didn't know what was revealed to Gorlois, but Gorlois came to him one morning, bowed and said: "My liege I gladly give my life to create such a being, my only request is that you appoint the child your successor despite the gender." And then Gorlois ended the marriage when he became a priest, casting Igraine aside. Uther didn't understand Gorlois' words but was grateful to the man who died a year later. At the end of that year, he married Igraine. Igraine must have been instructed by Gorlois to marry him, for she was cold towards him. But gradually the two whose ideals were shared fell in love, and when that love was born, a child was created. To both parent's dismay, the child was a girl. Uther could not deny she was his, for she resembled his mother Fiona. Resembled was the right word, for he knew, just by looking at this babe that she would surpass Fiona's beauty. Nay, he could proudly say, she would most likely be one of the most beautiful women of all time. There was something Divine about this baby's beauty. But that would be expected for this child was not fully human. A dragon in truth, and with their majestic beauty to enchant he had no doubt Arturia, for that was the name they gave her, would grow to be unparalleled in beauty. Though both disappointed at child's gender, Igraine and Uther instantly felt their hearts melt and love to grow when she opened her emerald eyes and looked at them. She would be their treasure. The child giggled, and Uther couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt. Knowing full well this child would have a hard life. Merlin then came to them on Arturia's third day of life and made it abundantly clear, the child could not stay. Her birth was not revealed yet, fortunately. 4 years, that was the maximum time Merlin, in his mercy would give them. And so they agreed, though their hearts broke each year. She was their secret, so the child could not leave her area of the castle, Arturia never showed any signs of anguish over this, though caging a child was a cruel thing. She would simply smile and spend time with her parents. Uther had then made an announcement overturning his elder children's rights to rule, not knowing the already growing resentment they held for their youngest siblings. After four happy years as a family of three, Merlin came and took her away. Both Igraine and Uther's hearts were broken for the rest of their lives. 

Kay's Pov

A 5-year-old girl was brought to them one day. Some sort of weird silver-haired man delivered this little girl one day. She looked at them with a sort of curious look, wide-eyed and laughing. His mother seemed delighted by the girl, and one look at her Kay could tell she would grow to be a beauty. Which made his mother more delighted with this girl, who always wanted a daughter, but God never blessed her with one. She then dressed the little girl in a rough peasant dress and did her hair, all the while the little girl looked around curiously at her surroundings, obviously delighted with what she saw. Kay sighed, his mother showed more affection to Arturia than she did him. Even when father said he'd raise her like a son, after a certain talk with that weird silver-haired man, she was still way more fond of Arturia than she was with him. Kay could tell with the little girl dresses she'd sew, despite father's disapproval, that when no one was there, even the servants were gone, She'd dress Arturia up in all the pretty clothing she had wanted. And when he saw the laughing face of Arturia when he once walked in on them, that she enjoyed being dressed like a girl. She enjoyed wearing those dresses. Arturia was, what would later be called a daddy's girl towards Sir Ector, in a sense it was clear the whole family loved Arturia very much. kay didn't feel any jealousy nor resentment towards her. Even when she'd picked up his mess, and look at him exasperated, taking care of him, he felt no humiliation. Though it would be expected with the way she took care of him at times that he'd feel embarrassed. But then again, no one except his family knew Arturia was a girl. Not even the servants, who'd he hear whisper among themselves that Kay must have resented "Arthur" somewhat. But he couldn't. Why? Well, his sister was too cute. Admitedly, Kay was one of the earliest examples of someone with a little sister complex. Had Arturia been a boy, Kay knew he'd resent her. But since she was a girl, who cares? Her taking care of him wasn't what hurt his pride.

What did, was... She was a better swordsman than him. He sighed, from his training from his father he had learned that he must defend the weak especially a woman. It was the job of the stronger sex to protect. no one understood why Kay, openly had hurt pride why "Wart", as he nicknamed her to her fury, was a better swordsman than him, but everything else seemed ok. It seemed ridiculous, since "Arthur was the best swordsman in the village, being more skilled than anyone else. So why was his pride hurt? If only they knew she was a girl, Their egos would certainly deflate too. The only thing that kept his pride was she never truly beat him, he'd make up rules. She, being a sore loser, would demand a repeat, not bothering to hide her frustrations. Kay couldn't help but think she was adorable when she was like that. 

One day when their parents were away Arturia got sick. She had gotten a fever, much to his concern. A fever could lead to death after all. But she simply just smiled and said she'd be ok. He in his arrogant way told her: "If you die, it'd be troublesome for me." It was his way of saying to get better, and she knew this. So she simply just smiled, and fell asleep, Kay kept watch over her.  When he told her he'd do anything she wanted for the day, she simply smiled and said she was fine. This being an opportunity to be a good big brother insisted, so in truth, she told him what she wanted. To dream again about a lion. He sighed, of course, that's what the girl would ask, Arturia was not like most girls who'd ask for pretty flowers or other whatnots. He figured it was because she was raised as a boy. so she'd ask for nothing feminine. Kay then left. If she wanted to dream about a lion, she would dream about a lion, that's what his sister had asked for, that was what he would give. But then a certain panic came to him, what if the lion had hurt her? Even if it was a dream, there was no way he was going to let his "Wart" get hurt. So he decided an old lion would not be able to hurt her. So he started to carve an old lion. When he gave it to her, she seemed delighted, he had to admit it looked like crap, but she was so happy to get it. Back then he didn't realize Arturia probably envied the other girls who could play with dolls, so a carving like this was the closest thing to a doll she'd get. 

The next morning she told her dream about a young lion, he was rather alarmed admitting he carved like that so she'd dream about an old lion that couldn't hurt a fly. She simply smiled and laughed. He should have treasured those moments more. When Arturia was nine and him 14, their mother died. Arturia having to be a boy, could only cry a certain amount, lest he is seen not manly. When the ceremony was over, Arturia left, Kay and Ector followed her, and they saw her bawl her eyes out. Crying and grieving. Ector and Kay then ended up crying with her. It took about a year, but they learned to move on, Arturia, to everyone's surprise, but his and father ended up managing the household like mother did. And sir Ector allowed it, the servants wondered why seeing "Arthur" Did some women's work. 

When Arturia was ten, they found out the truth, she was the child of a king, and raised to be the next king. That didn't make her more haughty saying they were still her family, though not related by blood. That was when she stopped sleeping that much and began to do the chores. KAy couldn't help but worry and feel this sense of uneasiness about her. This wasn't human, getting less than three hours of sleep every single day, and it unnerved him. It caused a rift in their relationship. If Arturia felt any sort of sadness she never showed it. He would later learn Merlin would come to her in her dreams, telling her about knighthood and honors and teaching her things. He should have realized back then when she had this sort of haunted look at times, that she was terrified of being king. it must have terrified her a lot. And Arturia was constantly reminded of her being king most of all when she dreamed. But never realized that sort of thing until it was too late. 

Another five years had passed, and Arturia was fifteen. There was a festival coming, a sort of carnival, and without father's knowledge, he had bought a dress for her. She looked at it for a while, it was completely blue and had an apron on it. He told her to wear it, they were going to the fair. Her eyes lit up, and she changed, letting her hair down, form that bun she always had to wear it in. He looked at her hair, with it down no one could mistake her for a boy. She looked at him and smiled. She never fully cut it out of respect for their mother, who always loved Arturia's hair. She'd have to cut it, yet, but always leave it long enough for it to be clear she was a girl, even when she wore boy's clothes. She looked so much like a girl, people would comment on it, but then shake their heads in denial. When Arturia wore that dress. Kay's breathe hitched. Little Arturia had grown to be a rare beaut. She looked like an angel. Though admitedly she was lacking in a certain area. It probably would get bigger once she got older. How wrong he was She tied her hair and then they left.

Arturia would look around excited, but unfortunately Kay he could never fully enjoy the scene. Mostly because of all the ogling perverts that looked at his little sister. It was Kay's killing aura alone that held them back. Kay knew that as soon as he left, the wolves would surround her. So instead of being able to flirt here and there with a pretty woman, and maybe, well... have a passionate time getting to know each other better, he spends it guarding his little sister. But that smile on her face when they left for home, made it all worth it. 

She was newly knighted after a few months, and she picked the sword from the stone, making her the next king. He didn't attend, feeling rather bitter that she had been given everything since birth. She didn't say anything, but it probably hurt her that he wasn't there. 

She wasn't crowned for two years. During those two years, she traveled with the silver-haired man who brought her to them. He learned he was a magus and his name was Merlin. He nearly choked when he saw what Arturia was wearing. A white type of dress that showed leg and had a low neckline. She wore tights thankfully. He asked her what she was wearing. Her answer: Merlin told her to wear this. From that moment, Kay instantly knew this Merlin was a pervert. And from that moment on, constantly bickered with him.

After those two years, Arturia was crowned king, and it seemed like to him, she was no longer human. He began to grow a sense of resentment towards her for not being human and was unnerved by her. He never should have left her alone. It must have been lonely having to suppress your emotions. 

Chapter Text

Lancelot's Pov

He sighed as they traveled through the trees, a sort of serenity, a feeling of peace when his heart was recently almost always in conflict was refreshing. he silently watched as his king seemed to be looking at their surroundings. They had left a lord's castle, just the two of them, and right now the king didn't seem as tense as he was when they began their journey. He couldn't help but wonder if it was because the king had now gotten used to his companionship. Most likely, for whenever the king was to scout a potential lord and see if they were worthy of their title he would always take sir Kay with him. No one else, just sir Kay, no matter how busy he was as seneschal. It would always seem like the king favored Sir Kay's company over the other's, and Lancelot couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy over this. After all, he wanted a friendship with the king, and funny enough, it seemed like he had a friendship with the king. He wasn't sure why, but some part of him had already known the king now considered him his best friend though he never showed it. The king never showed any emotions, but he had a sense the king now considered Lancelot someone to be trusted. Which made his betrayal with Queen Guinevere all that much more conflicting. The Queen obviously did not love the king that way, that much was obvious. She seemed miserable in her marriage, unhappy and lonely. He knew the king tried to be a good husband towards her, but she never seemed to be in love with the king. You couldn't force love after all. The Queen and he had begun to meet after a while, mostly to chat on how they could lift their king's burden.

It was then they began to meet constantly. It was there his attraction to her grew. Strangely enough, he felt the queen still hid something from him. A burden that she alone had to bear. Something that prevented her to ever achieve happiness, though what it was he didn't know. He sighed as he looked at his king, who didn't smile, but seemed to have this sense of peace around him. Lancelot smiled, About to speak, only to remember explicit memories of his time with Guinevere. A month had passed since the day they first started their unforgivable act. Body against body as their fluids mixed. He fondling her ripe assets and enjoying her wet warmth. Moans had to be silenced and he couldn't bite her, for fear the king would know. He couldn't leave a mark, Guinevere's most trusted maids kept watch at that night, but still, they held back their moans. After that night of ruin, they then continued that dark solicit path. For a month they had made love regularly, and Lancelot had by then fallen for the queen. No, that was wrong. He wouldn't have made love to her had he not fallen in love with her. To his surprise and relief, she had not gotten pregnant. Relief, because had their child inherited his looks their affair would be known. Surprise because of how frequently they had done the despicable act. In fact. the lady of the lake had specifically placed a spell on him as a child, stating that when he made love to the woman whom his soul and heart would belong above others, he'd impregnate her. This was made to prevent him from being forced to take responsibility for a woman he did not love. Maybe it was to hide his affair with Guinevere. He looked at the king, and for one moment he couldn't help but remember someone.

It was his first day in Camelot. The lady of the Lake, who had raised him as a child, was also there. For the fairy lady also favored the king. He sighed, remembering how he at first thought the stories of such a king was folly. A twig of a king being a knight to lead the battles? What nonsense. A knight's built had to be sturdy and strong to win battles. Their built and strength was what defined them. But the stories of the king prevailed. It was ridiculous, in his view, for such a king to exist must be only a tale. IT was said the king only fought to defend the weak and those who suffered injustice, fighting for goodness instead of just honor. Nonsense, it was to him. Most likely only a tale to hone chivalry. To inspire young men to become knights. Naturally being a favorite of the fay he was France's finest knight. It was only on his 19th year did he hear himself, he of all people, being compared to that fabled king. It was then he decided that he had to see this so-called king for himself. So he went to the battlefield. Deciding to aid this so-called perfect king to see if the stories were true. When he came to the camp, there was a battle. He had aided as best he could, showing off his skill. But still, he did not see a king. Smirking at how he was right, he was completely taken by surprise at a young voice telling him to watch out. He turned around, expecting a squire, to see the fabled king himself. The stories were true, for the king was small in stature, but fought men way bigger than him with a courage and will he had come to admire. Only when the battle was over did he introduce himself as a knight wanting to aid the king's cause. He nodded, and he had come to learn this was the norm. There was no emotion in him, but then again it was probably because his reasons were not unique. Upon seeing the king's special "knights of the round table" Did he wish for a seat. Turns out there was a seat waiting for him, he just had to prove himself worthy of it. And on the battlefield he did. Expanding his chivalry, defending the week, and by the end of the year, he was gifted with a seat and membership. So when he entered Camelot he was hailed as a hero.

It was a few hours since the court would meet and the celebration occurs, for the king was not even prepared yet. So he decided to walk around. Raising his gaze to the towers, he then saw her. A beautiful angel. She wore a slip that barely reached her thighs showing her pearly smooth skin. her golden hair seemed to glow in the sunshine and those emerald eyes that seemed to be deep in thought were more beautiful than any jewel. He felt his breath taken away. He could see the maids attending to her, getting her clothes ready, speaking to her, though he could not hear what they were saying. Yet they bowed to her. "See something that you like?" He jumped, only to be met face to face with the lady of the lake. She was smiling at him in amusement. he tried to justify his actions only for him to want to look at the rare beauty again. Only for her to look down, and their eyes meet. His heart had skipped a beat, upon that moment, only for the girl to have a sort of fearful look round her. Her maids must have noticed for they turned around, and saw him staring. They then closed the curtains. He had at first assumed that angelic maiden to be the queen, never having seen Guinevere before, and he couldn't help but feel envy towards the king. Thinking him the luckiest man n the world for having such a beautiful bride. Imagine his surprise upon finding an entirely different woman to be the queen. Chestnut hair instead of golden locks. Azul eyes instead of green. Granted the queen was a beauty, certainly the most beautiful woman in the room, but her beauty paled in comparison to that young girl... He then had the idea the maiden must have been a relative of either the king or queen and was, therefore, a guest. He could have sworn the king had a troubled expression on his first day.

He never saw that angelic beauty again. Upon noticing his staring, The king then asked what was the matter. "Nothing my lord, it's just that upon this moment I swear you look like a maiden. " For one fleeting moment, he could have sworn there was a look of shock on the young king's face. Only to have it brushed off. The king then joked: "That's why I wear my hair like this so that I don't look too much like a woman." To say he was shocked was an understatement, the king never joked. Maybe this was proof of their growing friendship. If it was, it made his affair with Guinevere even more unforgivable. He was awoken from his thoughts when they were ambushed by a wild beast. It's fangs ready to pounce. A phantasmal beast. Arthur and he were ready to battle, only for that beast to swipe mud at them. They had spare clothes ready, but a bath was needed. Fortunately, a lake was nearby. It was upon reaching the lake that the king made an odd request. To go find objects that were quite far from the lake. He gaped at the king, wondering if he was joking. The king was dead serious. It was an order, not a request. Lancelot wondered if this was the king's way of telling him he knew about the affair or if the king was just strange. Either way, he was prepared to obey, only for a voice, Lady Nimue's to be precise, told him to come back. He decided to listen, thinking his king might be attacked. It then told him to stay hidden, upon that request Lancelot stopped. And listened, not knowing why. To his surprise, the king was looking side-ways. Pensive as if making sure no one was there. The voice told him to keep watch and remain quiet. The king then removed his clothes. And to Lancelot's shock, it was not a he, he was serving, but a she. He found that out when she removed her tunic, revealing her small breast. they were rather small but he could make out their shape and form. She then removed her pants, revealing her glorious fair skin. Removing the ribbon, she let her hair down and entered the lake. When she was waist-deep she must have sensed something, for she turned around, only for their eyes to meet. Shock filled him, for this maiden with the shocked eyes was the very same maiden he had seen in that tower five years ago. She cried out upon seeing him. He saw emotions flare on this girl king. For there was clear shock, realization and most of all fear in her eyes.

For a moment both were speechless before the girl said: "How long have you been there?"

He was unsure if he should answer truthfully for fear of being seen as a pervert, but seeing as there was no other way of making it clear he knew the king's secret, and Lancelot had a feeling he should make it clear he knew, simply told her "I was watching you remove your clothes, my king,."

The girl was silent for a moment as fear etched into her face. "Lancelot I-" she bit her lip, unsure of herself. it was then Lancelot realized that this was the first time he had seen emotion from the king. So, not wanting to ruin it, he simply turned his back as she bathed in silence. When she was done and he could hear clothes being put on, the girl then said: "You can look now." And that he did. He was shocked for even in boy's clothes the girl looked like a female. She bit her lip. "Merlin put enchantment in my clothes. So that as long as no one saw me without them, no one would know that I'm a girl, or realize I'm a girl." He nodded. Again there was silence. "Lancelot I-"

"I intend to keep your secret, my king."

The girl blinked twice and was about to say something. "And if you will allow me, will you still let me serve you as a knight of your round table." Again silence and he feared the girl would refuse. But after a while, a small relieved smile graced her features. It was the first smile he ever saw from his King, and he could have sworn his heart had skipped a beat.

The rest of the journey home was rather quiet, as Arturia, for that was actual name didn't know what to say. The silence was needed, for a feeling of awkwardness was needed, if there was no awkwardness there would only have been a feeling of unease from both parties.

When they came back to Camelot Guinevere was waiting for them, there was worry and dilemma in her face. Worry had gone away when she saw them both safe, but the dilemma was still there. When he had revealed to her that he knew the king's secret, she smiled as if a burden was made lighter. They began to talk more as Arturia seemed to avoid him. They had not slept together for a while yet for a sense of guilt lingered as these two secret keepers. Of betraying one with a great and heavy burden. But the day came when they made love again. Lancelot trusted and pounded Guinevere on the bed. Moans could be heard, but they soon heard Arturia's voice "Guinevere I'm coming in." And she opened the door before either could move. The girl took one look at them, was silent for a moment, then closed the door. Both were shocked, as they scrambled to put their clothes on.

They opened the door to find Arturia still standing there. As both were apologizing for the betrayal, the girl looked at them strangely and simply said something that made both of the shocked that she wasn't angry nor resented them for it. That didn't make sense, didn't the king care for the queen? Upon seeing their confused looks, Arturia decided to explain. "I'll meet you on the roof. And so they both came, she was there wearing a simple dress. A peasant dress to be precise. When asked, she simply stated she borrowed one of her maid's dresses as times. They nodded.

"Why aren't you angry?"

"Should I be?"

"Of course being cuckolded is a betrayal. If it was me I-"

"But I'm a girl."

That stunned them silent. And with that Arturia gave a sad little smile. "I knew what I was asking you was too much Guinevere, and I've been feeling guilty over what I made you do. Guinevere looked at her stunned. I actually expected an affair. Ahh, I'm not saying anything to insult your chastity it's just that we are both women and well..." The girl was silent for a moment blushing. "it's just that I'm relieved."

They were both shocked at that. "Relieved, why?"

“It’s just that’s air feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Since our marriage is nothing but a farce we show to the public, betrayal from either one of us was expected. I’m just glad you were able to find some happiness. Ahh, again ahh I don’t mean to insult your honor!”

Arturia was silent again, blushing”

” But my lady what if a child is born to this betrayal.”

Arturia looked at them surprised. “As long as it resembles Guinevere more than Lancelot, the child can be named my heir.”

”But my lady.”

” Besides if Guinevere ever gives birth it’s kind of obvious the child won’t be mine since We’re both girls.” There was silence

“At least this way we’ll have an heir to carry the Pendragon name and continue our legacy. And the people won’t question it.” There was relief in Arturia’s eyes. “If you two plan to stay.”

there was a heavy silence as Arturia looked at them fearfully.”

They both couldn’t leave her their sense of duty refused it. They blatantly told her that, and there was relief in Arturia’s eyes.

”Thank goodness.”

” But why give your blessing for this affair.

” Because I like you guys.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And I’m happy for both of you.”

Still Lancelot felt guilty, and when he stated he wished for punishment, Arturia then using some of her mana Kicked him in the crotch.

a burning sensation filled him, as he was laying down hands protecting his manhood.

”Is that punishment enough.”

he nodded, but he sensed she could still his guilt.

” Fine I guess then your punishment is to accompany me whenever I have time.”

he looked at her strangely. “When Merlin was here he’d frequently keep me company whenever I would have those few moments where I didn’t have to be a king but could be a human. It was far off from civilization of course, but I had someone to talk to.”

he looked at her.

” You’ll be filling that position.”

” But my liege that isn’t punishment enough.”

” In a way, it’ll help me So that I won’t accidentally let my emotions get in the way of my kingship. Think of it as a stress reliever.”

Lancelot was quiet for a while. “Besides you told me you wanted recompense didn’t you? In a way, this is a recompense for your “affair”

Lancelot nodded. “Though honestly since the pope knows my gender, the marriage between Guinevere and me isn’t really a marriage. He had annulled it on our wedding day.” Both Lancelot and Guinevere looked at her. “Ahh I just found out today and was going to tell you but...”

Lancelot sighed and nodded. “So do we agree, you keep my secrets and accompany me, and I’ll help you with your relationship anyway I can. Deal?”

Lancelot sighed “Deal.”

And with that, Arturia gave him a bright smile.

And with that the relationship between him, Arturia and Guinevere had begun.

Chapter Text

Lancelot's Pov

In a sense, he should have foreseen the consequences when he had agreed to be her confidant, agreed to let the girl use him to be able to be human for a little while. So that she may not falter as king, the girl had to have time where she could be human. So in a sense, Merlin let her have her moments of humanity when he was around, on certain occasions.  She was allowed to be the girl called Arturia on those occasions, but then Merlin left and Arthur or Arturia was left all alone. With no one to help her, at first she tried to have those moments of humanity to herself, let herself have no help in allowing herself to be human during those times. Unfortunately, that was not possible. One cannot be human when they are all alone all the time. Arturia would need company in her moments of being human. She would need someone to be there. She tried Guinevere when asked for help in her moments to be human. That was when Sir Tristan left, but alas, Guinevere being the queen could not be left alone with a strange girl. So Guinivere was no help. So she tried Lancelot. And to the girl's delight, he was the perfect tool to allow Arturia to be human. Being strong, big, and the most skilled of the knights of the round table no one would see it necessary for him to have an escort or a guard to protect him. So he would be left alone. Arturia and he would be alone during those times she could be allowed to be human.

The spring breeze fluttered, blowing his hair. He was waiting for his king, she asked him to wait for her as she had to make preparations to be human. What did that mean exactly? He didn't know, and he wondered if he'd ever know. He shrugged it off, thinking it only the king's quirk until she arrived that is. When she arrived he was tongue-tied and in awe of her beauty, in truth it was only a peasant dress. But for him who only two times saw Arturia, not in male attire, seeing her in female clothing took him by surprise. Besides the dress didn't bother to hide her beauty, which upon seeing it in more of its glory left him speechless. Her hair was down, giving her a very feminine appearance. He gaped for a moment before Arturia interrupted his stare with a "Lancelot?"

He awoke from his stupor, but still in awe. "Yes? What is it, my king?" Arturia smiled at him. "You know you could call me Arturia." He shook his head. "No my king, that would be a sign of disrespect to you." She gave him a sad smile, ahh yes, I suppose that's true." She sighed before again she gave him a big smile. "Where are we going, my liege? " Arturia stopped, as she gave him a sheepish smile. "Ahh, well I don't know." He looked at her for a moment. "Excuse me?" There was a blush on her face "Well, honestly I just taught that maybe we should just walk around and talk." Lancelot gave her a wierd look for a moment, before shrugging and acknowledging the girl's strange request. So they walked around and talked. The king was completely different in how she acted. This girl before him was cheerful and talkative. Smiling and Laughing. In awe of everything she saw, when she spotted a Lily and demanded that he get in between her legs. At first, he blushed at that statement, stuttering how could she be so crude, but she only looked at him strangely and he soon realized she was only after a flower. Sighing in defeat he placed her on his shoulders as she got the lily. He felt a bit wierd but upon seeing her smile at the flower he couldn't help feeling a strange sense of peace. 

"Do you like lilies my liege?" She nodded. "They're my favorite flowers."

Every day he was with her, during those moments of her humanity he began to see who the king truly was. And in a way, the king had elevated his reputation. He had now blatantly formed a relationship, a friendship if you will with this perfect king.  And in a way he had, Arturia would take him out to the festivals, the fairs, all the while she was smiling and laughing. 

He was exasperated a bit at being dragged places, but he found himself smile upon seeing the young girl enjoy herself. The villages, the people, he could see Arturia smiling when she saw no one was suffering. She would drag him to places and with a bit of magic ensure they would not cause attention as the fabled knight of the lake and a rare beauty. She would just explore and laugh. He found out later she was a glutton, which was a surprise for him, considering that as King she ate little and gave all her left-overs to the pheasants. But as the girl Arturia she ate befitting 12 people. He gaped for a while before she asked him what was wrong? He simply smiled and told her he didn't know she was such a glutton. Her response was a red hue on her cheek.

They would practice the sword more often now, making the friendship quite clear. As Arthur, she would compete with him several times gracefully accepting the loss, But as Arturia... She would demand a rematch, and another, and another... and another... until she won. And he couldn’t simply let her win, no she’d have to win on her own merit, besides she’d know right away if he let her win. She never beat him. Which resulted in her grumpy moods, something he couldn’t help but find utterly adorable and funny. So he would, sometimes purposely go a little easier at certain moments, just to make her more determined.

His relationship with the king had certainly improved leaps and bounds. His relationship with Guinevere was another story though...It wasn’t that they continually argued nor did it deteriorate, it was more as if his relationship with the queen had felt more wrong. The more he spent time with Arturia the more disgusted he was with himself over his relationship with Guinevere. Yet the man in him didn’t seem to find anything wrong with this, simply accepted this. As if it was the most natural thing in the world. Yet he didn’t know why. He was a French knight, one who put the human above the country, unlike these Britons. The man in him demanded he takes the hand of the woman he loved and abandon this country that put her in such a painful life. But strangely enough, it did not cry out for him to leave Arturia. In fact, though becoming this perfect knight, this ideal was in a way a sort of living hell, with so many expectations. With the knowledge that as soon as his relationship with Guinevere was exposed would reduce him to a blot of shame in the name of honor, still, he stayed. Even though if he had just simply taken Guinevere, they could find a way to shoulder that burden and sin knowing they were in the right. Arturia would not even blame them. But still, he stayed. He would not could not leave her alone. No, he couldn’t leave this girl king to that insufferable loneliness. 

People said she had been a heartless monster. That she was an inhuman demon that could not feel emotion. At that, he couldn’t help but laugh bitterly . As the man in him screamed in rage at them. Didn’t they know how much she sacrificed for them, how she gave up her happiness for them? Yes, unlike Guinevere, Arturia could not afford emotions, she was not allowed to cry. But to him, who had earned her trust she had shown her tears. 

When others would say she was inhuman for needlessly burning down the village, she would force herself to watch each fire. And then cry silently at each fire. Tears of despair for any death, blaming herself for it. Relief if there was none. He had soon learned she only burned those villages so as to ensure that the common folk, the ones who couldn’t fight would not endure the horrors of war. That there would be few deaths, few pillaging, few rapes... For a burned and abandoned village was completely useless to the enemy, hence they would just fight the army. Leaving the commoners alone. Yet the king would have to endure those harsh words proclaiming her heartlessness for burning the village.

yet again, Arturia was not allowed to cry. But the despair and loneliness in her heart were clear to him. Every time when he’d return, he’d find her in peasant clothes on a wooden swing, just looking down. Her loneliness apparent, until she’d notice him. Then she would fake a smile. Until he finally earned enough of her trust for her to ask him “I’m doing the right thing right?” he’d hold her as she’d weep silently the forbidden tears she was not allowed to cry. The tears of guilt. The tears of remorse. The tears of utter and true despair. Even in her sleep, she was not free from such pain. 

She had grown accustomed to his presence. So much so she’d summon him to her room as a sort of comfort each time to help her sleep. She told him he didn’t have to stay, that he could just go to Guinevere, but he found himself wanting to stay. To be a sense of comfort to this girl. And he’d hold her hand, as she smiled gratefully at him until she fell asleep. He’d see the tears she cried in her sleep as she said: “I’m sorry.” Every night she’d do that, he could feel the man in him scream at this.

But still, Arturia, Guinevere and he were happy for a while. He realized that Arturia was always trying to give excuses to leave he and Guinevere alone, to not leave suspicion. But he found himself more drawn to Arturia lately. 

Maybe because he realized that unlike Guinevere, Arturia had almost no one. Merlin was gone, her brother Kay had abandoned her, Ector dead, so he and Guinevere were all she had. But even then they had to leave her alone at times, something he hated. Guinevere had a few friends, not close enough to confide in but close enough to enjoy the company off. Giggling with and gossiping as well. But still, he could tell Guinevere was lonely. Bitter despair and loneliness had filled her for marrying a woman. Giving up the happiness of a woman. Bearing with the guilt and shame of an affair because of such a burden as keeping the King’s Secret... And still living in fear the affair would be discovered and her reputation ruined. Guinevere was lonely. So he stayed with her, because he did love her, didn’t he? No, he knew he still loved her. But he felt himself sympathizing with the king more. Yet he knew both women would always cry frustrated sorrowful tears each day, every day for the burdens they each had to carry. So he reasoned that was why he stayed. Since Guinevere would not and could not endure the guilt of leaving the king. Or that was the excuse he believed...

He could comfort Guinevere through certain means... But Arturia only had those times she could be human, which were becoming less frequent. So when a lion cub had been found by her, he helped keep the kitten a secret. He would stand guard at the door, and for that month he had never seen her so happy. She would always find a way to sneak in choice meats to the cub. To play with it and he could see her laugh. That was when he realized aside from him and Guinevere, Arturia only had animals to ease the loneliness. He held her as she cried tears of loneliness when the lion left. When she had to let the cub go.

For her birthday he had given her a horse. He had presented the king a horse, a fine white stallion for her birthday. Many knights found it beautiful, a fine gift indeed. King Arthur simply nodded and gave thanks. It was only when left alone did he spot Arturia truly smile and admire the steed. From then on he’d catch Arturia take care of the steed. Dressed in peasant clothes. No one gave her any mind, simply thinking her a maid who had grown fond of the King’s horse. He’d clench his first at the looks of lust some would give her though.

From then on he gave her little gifts, once a year. On her birthday. One such tournament had arrived, where he had won. Seeing as he had no lady to give the prize to, he simply said he’d give it the king. No one taught it strange, simply because he had no lady love he’d give it to the king whom he served who would most likely give it to the queen. Well, the queen was the most beautiful woman whom they knew off, and the rewarded lady would be the queen of beauty. Even Arturia taught that was his intent. So imagine her surprise when he straight out told her that gift was for her. Tears dripped down her cheek as she took the flower crown and gave him a thank you from the bottom of her heart. Guinevere didn't speak to them for a month.

His relationship with Guinevere now seemed forced to him. He began to sleep with her less and less, as he realized he was beginning to fantasize about his best friend. Her soft skin being traced by his lips and hands, her golden hair loose and tangled due to the activity and emerald eyes hazed in lust. How her breast would feel, entering her womanhood and hearing her moans. Even as he pounded Guinievere he could still see Arturia. When he was at his most hazy he saw Arturia on the bed instead of Guinevere. One night, he had called out Arturia's name. He stopped making love with Guinevere after that. The two avoided each other after that. 

Arturia asked him what happened between him and Guinevere. But he said nothing. She kept on persisting and a small part of him had begun to grow frustrated that she was directing him towards another woman. The more she persisted, the more frustrated he became until finally, without thinking he told her "You don't know what goes on in the hearts of men." She looked at him, shocked for a moment, processing his words before she gave a sad smile. "E tu Lancelot?" He instantly regretted it.

He found it strange that even then she acted like nothing had happened. Until he realized she was used to being treated like this. His guilt at how he treated her ate away at him, growing more so as he continued to fantasize about her each night, it was a miracle he could look her in the eye. Then it happened.

It was just a normal trip to some lord when they were both ambushed. no doubt by that lord whom they heard was a notorious tyrant who would do anything to keep his land. Even kill the king. Their enemies were quickly defeated but the weather proved fatal, leading to him and her falling from a cliff. Her horse neighing in despair and trying to run towards her but was stopped by the other. Both had become unconscious. When he awoke he found Arturia in his arms. The weather had resulted in them being lost, somewhere unknown. No, it was more like the fairies had transported them to somewhere no man would find them. He found a small cottage waiting for them but no other living soul. Lilies draped the surroundings and he saw Arturia’s eyes flash. He couldn’t help but smile at the look of wonder she had, briefly forgetting the part of him that was wondering what the hell the fairies were thinking. Her smile had reassured him.

He didn’t know how long they had spent in that fairy cottage, maybe it was only a week, time did pass differently in the worlds of the fae. Yet he could confidently say this was one of the happiest moments in his life, being with her. At first, he would go out looking for an exit, while she waited for him. A heart and home warm and a dinner cooked. (The food was much better than Gawaine’s cooking). Savory, juicy blood pudding, mince pie, tarts, warm bread and several other delicacies she’d cook from the ingredients she found. He found out that, well, surprisingly his king was a good cook. An excellent cook, much better than the palace cooks, and Gawain no doubt. When he stated this, she simply blushed and said something along the lines of helping the chef and her mother, kay’s mother no doubt, cook and then taking over the chef duties when the chef was sick. Ahh, that’s right, She grew up in a poverty warrior’s household with meager servants. Just enough to make it clear they weren’t the peasantry. Which was a far cry from how he grew up, being with the fae he was used to the finest of luxuries, even beyond human comprehension. The most tasteful morsels were handed to him when he wished it. He was given the best of training, and the softest silks and satin were his covers. When he stated this, she laughed and said they grew up worlds away. Apologizing for the lack of luxury he received. 

He could tell she was joking. They then proceeded to tell the other of childhood tales and mischief. He found to his amusement she would play hero of justice and fight back the bullies boldly proclaiming herself a future knight. She blushed at this then frowned at him in embarrassment as he laughed. He would tell her of little adventures around the world of fae he had and of the animals he had encountered. Flying squirrels and mixes of sheep and dogs. She looked at him wide-eyed and excited. Finally, he gave up on finding an exit and concluded the fae would let them out when they decided to. Sighing he accepted this fate, instead opting to explore with his king. Her eyes would be excited and she’d roam around looking for the strange beast he described. They’d play games, sometimes all day due to her competitive streak. Swim, talk and laugh. Not all days were filled with happiness mind you, there would be times where they would squabble and feel frustrated. But in truth, there was a sort of contentment that filled the air.

And then that night happened. Was it something they ate? Something they drunk? The smell in the air? He didn’t know, he didn’t have many memories of what happened. What he could remember was the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body. Sweet moans. Exploring hands and mouth. Kisses.And how warm and wet she was. When they woke up from that trance, realizing what they had done, both had frozen. Were speechless. Not saying a thing. And then he left to clear his head as she stayed there to clear hers. 

Now he had made love to his king, the thing that he had been fantasizing about. Of course, he became troubled after the event, but what troubled him was not the action itself, no. It was the fact he was craving for more. His fantasies about her became more frequent, his hands would stay a little longer when they touched. His eyes would explore certain places when he was sure she wasn’t looking. All of that made him feel ashamed and disgusted with himself. He was lusting after his lieges body. But he didn’t avoid her, rather couldn’t. Arturia could tell his plans refused to let him do so. Opting to have him either tell her what was troubling him or spend the day with her. He opted to spend the day with her, not being able to tell her his troubles. Though self-hating himself for his lascivious wishes towards his friend this was still a happy moment. He could honestly say these days in the cottage was the happiest in his life. Then came that day. The day she asked him if they could stay in this place, together.

She wore a white and pink pheasant dress, golden hair crowned with lilies, emerald eyes looking at him with apprehensive hope. When she told him that, he instantly felt this sense of fear. A cowardice that he would regret and make him hate himself for not rescuing her when he could. make him wonder a what could have been scenario.

In truth, Arturia's request was out of pure selfishness. To stay here and abandon her country, leaving it to fend for itself. But her selfishness was understandable, it was a selfishness every human had. The selfishness of wanting one's happiness.  The fear he felt was the burden of guilt they would have to carry if they stayed here. The man in him was ready to jump for joy and tell her yes, hold her in his arms and stay with her here in this paradise for all eternity. But the loyal subject and knight in him refused, the people would need their king, the queen he could take away. Arturia's prestige may be ruined temporarily but she could win it back and stabilize the country. Yes, Guinevere may be valuable but she wasn't 100% needed, though the country would get damaged it could pull itself back together as long as Arturia was the ruler. Without Arturia, the country would collapse. And to top it all off, to stay here was to spit in the face of their ideals, surely Arturia knew that. 

"You know staying here would spit in the face of the ideals we live for and have." That was his cold reply. 

She seemed taken back for a moment, shaking. She then seemed to regain some of her composure though she still shook, shame on her face as she said: "Yes, you're right. I'm sorry for ever bringing it up, that was my mistake. I'll never make it again." The man in him screamed and rebuked him.

It was then Agravaine had appeared out of nowhere. Arturia shook, but he simply bowed and said: "My liege, I have known your secret for quite some time, so please don't worry." She nodded her head nervously. "My king, might it not be wise to change and leave this prison you have been entrapped in for far too long?" She nodded wordlessly and left to change. Aggravain gave him wierd looks of animosity as they left. 

Aggraviane's Pov

He had heard enough of his aunt's wishes to know Lancelot was a threat to the kingdom. he could excuse the man's affair with Guinevere, though he had to serve a whore. He perfectly knew why the king allowed it, after all being clouded with guilt over a whore's sacrifice could affect her judgment. Besides they'd need an heir and both being women no child could be born from them. Magic was useless against the king, so changing her gender would either have catastrophic consequences or not work at all. So of course allowing an affair to happen was the only way for an heir from the queen, impersonating bastard or not. As long as they were raised by the king, Aggravain did not doubt that any son that slut of a queen would bear would be just as noble and good a king as Arturia was. 

In truth, at first, his bitch of a mother and bastard of an uncle had entrusted him to spy on Arturia to have her be overthrown. He was ready to kill the king if she did not prove to be a strong ruler. Considering his low opinion on women, he was ready to kill. She had taken him by surprise by surpassing his standards of a worthy ruler. He decided she was worthy to be king. Her little quirks to hide her gender or her outings with Lancelot to be human he understood. It was to ensure there was no faltering when she was king. After all, forgetting to be human would not make a good king, but the king could not be human, these contradictions could only be met and reconciled due to those moments she allowed herself to be human and not king. So he understood it. But he feared she chose the wrong person to help her be human. Lancelot who had an affair with the queen proved himself to be a womanizer. Not in the sense he had many lovers, for the only lover and lady he seemed to have had was the queen. but he seduced the king as well. Normally Aggravaine would have seen this as a sign of weakness from the king, but since the lady of the lake was obviously involved he concluded it was not his king's weakness but the lady of the lake and Lancelot's treachery that made his king's heart waver. The man could not be forgiven for that. So Lancelot of the lake had to be removed. Not killed, for that could affect his king, but dishonored to the point he could never return to Camelot, and he knew just the right weapon to use. 

He'd need to find a replacement to help his king be human though. Perhaps Gawain or Bedivere would be fine replacements...

Chapter Text

 


Lancelot's Pov

He had begun sleeping with Guinevere again. He knew it to be wrong, and sick and that he was just using the poor woman. But still, he continued to sleep with her. It was the only way to forget, forget the softness of his king's skin, of her underdeveloped breast brushing against his chest... He shook his head trying to forget that night, it seemed like the king had. Which had hurt him quite a bit, was what happened between them nothing more than a mistake to her? He shook his head, no this was for the best, this was for the best, or that's what he told himself, for some part of him wanted nothing more than to confront her about her nonchalant attitude towards what happened between them. But he didn't, no he was a knight to this country after all. And this country needed their emotionless king, not a conflicted girl. So he continued to sleep with the queen to satisfy his constant frustrations. The queen seemed to invite him every chance she could get, more frequently enough it seemed like their affair was becoming gossip. The king ignored all of it. 

 The worst outcome had met them because of their folly. Seems like Agravaine was waiting for a precise moment to strike. The perfect moment came 7 months after he had slept with the king. Villainous fellows who wished to take down the king's prestige revealed the affair to the other knights of the round. Gawain looked at them with disgust, as he clothed himself quickly. That was when the knights began to attack, Lancelot who knew that whether Arturia liked it or not, Guinevere would receive the death penalty took her hand and ran with her trying to find an exit. They roamed the halls, thankfully empty even of servants, but the other knights were in pursuit. Lancelot bit his lip as he tried to find an exit, fear, and anxiety swelling within him. They ran through the halls, they lost the other knights, for now, but eventually, they would be found. Shit was what went through his head until a hand took his. It was a maiden's hand he could tell, for the hand seemed to belong to a delicate and frail person. It seemed feminine as well. Panic rushed through him as the thought that maybe one of the knights' ladies had caught them. It was only when he turned around did he see who it was. His king wearing a peasant dress her hair down her eyes downcast as she wouldn't look at him. 

"Their's an exit close by." She wouldn't look at them nor talk to them for the rest of the while. "Go." She told them, her voice cold as she refused to look at them. It was only when he turned around did he see the absolute hurt in her eyes. The next day he heard that he was publicly excommunicated from the knights of the round, but that was the only punishment he received. The king had Pardoned him and Guinevere, that was the last he heard about her for a long while. 

He heard the knew, later on, it seemed like a son of King Uther had arrived and taken his rightful place on the throne, imprisoning the "inhuman imposter." He clenched his fist at this, and a part of him just wanted to go to Camelot and free her. At first, the people cheered, saying they didn't want such a king who didn't care about them anyway. Some knights of the round switched to his side, some like his cousins had already left by the time he was excommunicated while others like Gawain left in disgust vowing to rescue their king as they left for their own lands. For a while, those ungrateful Britons were happy to finally have a human king until they realized they had unleashed a tyrant. Mordred had abused them, he didn't rule as justly as Arthur did and he executed those he didn't like. The peasant suffered the worst of it heard, not that the nobility were left unscathed. Daughters were raped, family turned against family vying for his favor and losing it at a drop of the hat. Huh, seems like they got their human king after all. A righteous part of Lancelot told him to go rescue the people, that was the knight part of him. But the moment he set his resolve to bring down King Mordred he would remember Arturia's crying face as they isolated her and neglected her. Arturia he thought most likely escaped by now and was somewhere else. He knew her abilities, she was more than capable of escaping if she hadn't received the death penalty. It would be too late for him to rescue her if she did receive the death penalty. 

He didn’t touch Guinevere ever since their escape from Camelot. It was strange, for it looked like she expected this, as she only deeply sighed. All he could remember was the hurt look Arturia had. Sighing he rested his head, wondering where his king was. It was only when Gawain came begging him to help rescue their king did he find out she was still in the castle. Imprisoned. To say he was shocked was an understatement. “Please Lancelot for those days we were brothers in arms please help us rescue our king!” He could barely hear Gawain’s words, too caught up in wondering why? Why was she still in Camelot. He refused to, wouldn’t be able to believe she stayed due to luxury. No the girl he knew didn’t seem to enjoy luxury at the expense of her people. And then it clicked, she didn’t leave for her people’s sake. She refused to leave while her people were suffering despite the fact she had no way of helping them.

not without a throne. Not without an army.

Gawain was trying to give a speech about how it would help to rescue their king, how he could reclaim his honor again. But Lancelot wasn’t listening, he knew they were foolish fantasies given by someone who still wasn’t disillusioned by chivalry. ‘Just like her.’ He thought bitterly. But there was no point of Gawain giving such a foolish speech, for his mind was made up the moment he learned she was still in the castle.

”You’re going somewhere?” Guinevere asked, looking at him. By the look in her eyes, he could tell she already knew where he was going. “Guinevere I...”

“Don’t bother, I already know where you’re going. Sigh. She didn’t deserve any of this.”

”Gwen.”

”I miss those days when it was just the three of us when all three of us were happy. I guess I ruined it because I couldn’t stand the fact that you didn’t love me like that anymore.”

He looked at her stunned. And that was when he realized, Guinevere was never the woman he loved with all his heart and soul. She must have realized this way before he did. But why the animosity towards Arturia? She looked at him for a moment.

”We both failed her I guess. You don’t realize how you failed her, but I know how I did.”

”Gwen.”

”I’m joining the nunnery.” He nodded, expecting this. What else could she do? Marry him? They’d have war called in on them by every lord that served Arturia for that was an insult not only to the king but to themselves as well. Marry another? She was now known as an adulteress. No other man would want her. The nunnery was the only path left for her, aside from the fate of a mistress of a man who didn’t love her that way anymore. Oh, sure Guinevere was still as beautiful if not more beautiful as the day he met her. But something had ruined that love, not maliciously but it slowly did, during these 3 years. Both were now 28 years old, and both knew that their relationship was over. He nodded. “I hope one day, all three of us can meet, as we all once did before all those days ago.” It was a futile impossible dream, with no sense of hope in it. When the affair was revealed, there was no turning back to those happy days, Gwen’s wish, was just that only a wish. She must have known that, for she just turned around and left, tears in her eyes.

that was the last time he saw Guinevere.

”What’s he doing here?”

”Does he hope to gain back his honor. What a load of shit.” 

Those were the words he often heard men speak behind his back when they thought he couldn’t hear. They all viewed him with suspicion when he came, calling him a womanizer. There was no longer warmth or admiration, only scorn, and contempt for his action. For breaking his vow. No one liked spending time with him, and he was treated rather coldly.

but that was expected, after all, he was the knight who slept with his liege’s wife was he not? Even though they were never married. Nevertheless, despite the injustice of it all, the king's men who decided to rescue their lord all mocked him. Viewed him with contempt and suspicion. Even his allies who joined him were suspicious for his motives for rescuing the king. He trained alone, ate alone. And was usually at his camp when not training. No one dared to get into fights with him. But he knew they were all planning it, that is when he was no longer needed. It was about 2 months when they reached Camelot.

Mordred was waiting for them with an army and a revelation he knew all too well.

“Release our king and step away from the throne!” Gawain announced. Mordred smirked. “But I have a levitate right to it, I am king Uther’s son, am I not?”

”So is our king.” Mordred laughed. “You really think your King Arthur was King Uther’s son?”

”Don’t feed us lies, the fay, and god has revealed to us that our king is the child of Uther Pendragon.”

Mordred laughed. It was then Lancelot knew what he was going to say. And he wanted more than anything to shut the bastard up. “It’s true King Arthur is Uther Pendragon’s child, but she’s not his son.”

Every lord froze at the revelation. “I don’t have any brother’s only sister’s I’m afraid, and if I recall many of you lords weren’t pleased with my baby sister’s rule.”

There was silence for a moment. Lancelot, to everyone’s surprise, broke it. “She was a better monarch than you ever were.” It was then Mordred turned to look at him, first with rage then utter amusement. “Of course you’d say that you knew the little slut’s secret. That was when Lancelot could feel all eyes on him. Every single knight, lord, soldier, and peasant were looking at him. “Can’t deny she’s a girl now, can you? Tell me, we’re you able to enjoy my sister like you did her queen. After all, I for one can tell you how warm, wet and tight she is.” 

Why you.” Lancelot was ready to attack, Gawain beat him to it and a battle was held. With Mordred wounded. Gawain fatally so. Strangely enough, no lord, upon the revelation deflected from Arturia’s side, deciding to stay loyal to her and her alone. Gawain even looked at him, saying it was shame he would never see his king’s face, but he was happy to serve her and begged Lancelot to rescue her.

Lancelot was the most skilled of her knights, rescuing the queen many times, so it was now his task to rescue lady Arturia. On the reveal that he knew and kept her secret, the attitude towards him changed. Not majorly but enough for them to trust him to not betray them in their rescue of her. They decided to rescue her on the day of her death sentence. It would be public he knew, but they had no choice, any time else would either be too late or too guarded. 

Wearing cloaks, they waited for her appearance, and that was when he saw her again. She was as beautiful as ever, but her eyes spoke volumes of how her heart was broken. Every peasant in Camelot and many from the outer reaches of England was there. All gaped and gasped upon discovering the truth. Arturia would not even look at anyone else, she just bumble walked to her pyre. He could murmurs of surprise shock at the discovery and murmurs of awe at the beauty the girl king had. When she was securely tightened, they received the signal. All hell broke through then as Lancelot slashed through the knights and guards he had once called brother before. The peasants were running around screaming there was utter confusion. And Arturia just stood there numb in shock. “My liege” a knight called out. Arturia looked at the knight for a moment, and that’s when Lancelot cut the ropes and grabbed her. And quickly he rode away with the shock and numb woman in his arms. Once out of reach he cloaked her, and they returned to the camp. She stayed at Kay’s camp. Not surprising as he had been her foster brother for many years. Kay who knew the secret came back as many knights did, upon learning Mordred was a tyrant. She was quiet for a while as the lord’s all huddled together wondering what to do. When their king would come back. He entered the tent, upon seeing him, Tears began to drip down her cheeks. He came over and held her in his arms whispering soothing words. It was then she told him all she had endured. How Mordred had repeatedly raped her. And he held her as his anger boiled at what she had endured. The next day she came forward and announced: “To any lord who wishes to back down now can. To anyone who doesn’t want to serve me can leave. There will be no judgment in their part for I have lied to you. Deceived you. And have tricked you ever since I sat down on the throne.” 

There was a long silence. “I will serve you my liege.” He was the first to say this and kneel. Others followed, and for the first time, they saw emotion in their king’s face. As tears dripped down her cheek. She then nodded. “Then let us reclaim my throne.”

she wore a white dress that resembled and armor, her hair tied in a ponytail. She looked so beautiful, a flower on the battlefield. That was what she became known as during the war to reclaim the throne. The flower. She didn’t inspire war or glory towards them, but hope for a better tomorrow. Ahh yes. That was Arturia, unlike her knights she didn't Inspire or glorify war. No one would have been inspired by war just by her presence. No, what Arturia inspired was hope. And that’s as to why they fought for her. Because she gave them hope. 

It must have been painful. Invading the lands you protecting. Killing the people who served you. Slashing through your own country. He’d come over in secret, as he’d hold her close when she’d cry. After every battle when she was sure no one else was there, she’d cry. Cry tears of utter despair. There was nothing else he could do but hold her. No words would be able to reassure her.

”I wonder if he slept with both of them.” 

“Hmm” 

“You know Sir Lancelot.”

"Not that I can blame him, I mean they're both gorgeous. The king could keep me loyal if I was allowed in between her legs."

That was when he decided to break the conversation, sword in hand. The knights shut up and didn't say anything more to him not wanting to get into a brawl with this supreme warrior.

He silently wondered if his visits to her tent were becoming a well-known secret despite his best efforts to be discreet. The looks the lords and knights would send his and her way made him wonder. 

It was the night before the final battle when she asked several of her former knights to kneel. The lords were smiling in approval, he was confused for a bit until he felt a familiar movement, one that he thought he would only feel once in his life: the sword touching his shoulders. She was knighting him, something she had done before. 

"Arise Sir Lancelot, knight of the round table." He stared at her, her face like a gem, emerald eyes filled with utter joy and a smile with the innocence of a maiden but the elegance of a lady met him. She was smiling so dazzlingly he decided not to question it. She did the same for his brothers in arms who had betrayed her. And again the knights of the round were reassembled recreated for a final last time. That was the last time in his life he saw her smile.

The battle was fierce and bloody. He cut through several of his brothers, each knight aiming for Mordred. Traitors who they once fought alongside with were killed by their hands. Again the land his King had fought so hard to protect was ravaged by her, but hopefully for a final time. Hopefully, they would create her Utopia a land of peace and no war. A land that she once had created not long ago, filled with peace where no one was taken advantage of. Not even the peasant or weak, all were equal and beloved in the monarch's eyes. A land that was a Utopia, an Utopia that could hopefully accept her. His king. His.. And that was when he noticed, that every one of his comrades was now dead, he, Bedievere and Arturia were the only ones remaining. Mordred had unsworded her. Ready for a final strike, he could not reach her in time, when she took out her spear and pierced with it. The holy lance. 

Mordred died, But she was fatally wounded. He knew it just by looking at her. Cradling her in his arms, he and Bedievere retreated. "Please return my sword Bedivere."

"My king no!"  He cried, but she simply looked at him, despair but knowing in her eyes. Bedivere had refused two times. And each time Arturia made him go back, until the third and final he had done the deed. They were left alone that. Bedivere guarding the area. 

"This land is going to be war-torn and ravaged again isn't it?" Her voice only held pain and despair, tears dripped down her cheeks. Anyone who looked at her now could tell her heart was broken. 

"I'm sorry I failed, I-"

He shushed her. "You did a good job, you-"

"Y-y-you know. Merlin told me that my country would end one day, b-b-but I thought it would be like a peaceful slumber where it slowly merged into another country, a land of peace. Not this." A peaceful slumber, a naive dream, a naive fantasy. Anyone who was more worldly would know that the only way her country would end was through war. A peaceful slumber was unlikely. 

But that was the hope of the girl in his arms. That her country and people would no longer suffer. "I failed them, I failed everyone, I'm sor.." She didn't finish her sentence as she closed her eyes for a final time. Frantically trying to shake her but realized it was to no avail. Holding her close he lets tears mingle with her own. 

Ahh, yes, now he realized why he couldn't leave her. It was so simple, why didn't he realize it sooner. He had loved this woman. 

IT felt like he was in a dream when he buried her. Felt like any moment he would wake up and find himself in Camelot again. With her as the king. But it was no dream.

He and Bedivere parted ways after that. He left his lands to a cousin and became a monk. Keeping the rule of celibacy was now easy after all, no other woman could compare to Arturia.

Arturia who seemed to haunt his dreams. Arturia's whose voice seemed to lure him deeper into the forest. Arturia who had died crying.

Ahh yes, the woman he loved had died crying. She had died in utter despair. He did not doubt that she could not find peace. That she would forever be haunted by her country's destruction.

What was the use of his serving that country if it was doomed to destruction?

Ahh yes, if only he had taken that woman when he had the chance. If only he had spat in the face of those ideals when he had the chance. He could have taken her by force and forced her to be with him. Anything was better than the hell she had to endure. Yes if only he had taken Arturia and let that country fall apart, then she wouldn't have died so pitifully. If only he had spat in her people's face maybe she would have had a happy life.

Yes, her people were the cause of her suffering. They had reprimanded her, isolated her and called her a monster all the while ignoring her tears. 

Yes if only he didn't care about anyone else but him and her. If only he had been a human instead of a righteous knight. If only he had been a beast that listened to his heart, then maybe.. maybe... 

He could have saved that woman!


 

Let the mad beast overtake him, Let it fill his soul, and have him feel only hatred for the knight she had called brother, Let the lust that he had controlled overtake him.

"Arise, Berserker."

Chapter Text

Father had never loved them, that they knew. He had always been polite and kind to them, never abusing them, but a part of them never felt there father's love. In a sense, the man's eyes lacked any warmth to them whenever he looked at them. They had accepted that he would never love them. They were a reminder of how he had strayed from honor after. Sleeping with another man's wife, lost of allies and most importantly how he was not a perfect king. A king who slept with the spouse of one of his subjects is little more than a tyrant in the people's eyes. Abusing his power. He had lost a little respect from his people. That was completely dangerous. 

But there was no doubt they were his considering the strong family resemblance and the emerald eyes of the Pendragons begotten from the current king's deceased mother Fionna. All of the living Pendragons saved Vortigern and Ingrainne had emerald eyes. Emerald eyes like jewels. So they were no denying they were his children.

But they never felt loved, and the rationalized Uther Pendragon was not a father who loved his children. He was a king that made one mistake, but as a father, there was no paternal instinct in him. At least that was what they believed. So when their legitimate sibling was born, they did not hate her at first. Despite the fact, she would take the crown and they would get nothing, no that was expected to any child born from Uther's marriage. After all, this was his wife, they were bastards. Besides this was a girl, as soon as a younger brother was born a boy would leave her with nothing. So they did not hate her at first. No, in fact, they pitied her. Such a cruel birth. 

They had overheard the magus and their father speak, talking about needing an heir that would surpass him, a superior successor to say the least. That was what was needed. So in a sense, they were creating a someone to be a tool. Creating a someone to suffer. This being would not even be fully human, but a dragon human form, a protector of Great Britain. Yes, High king, Uther was a great king, but he was only human. For the Pendragon Legacy to be remembered they needed a king that was not human. In order for magic to stay in Britain, they needed one with dragon blood to rule. So this child's very body would remind them they were nothing but a tool. That was a cruel and heartless fate. It proved to them Uther Pendragon was not someone capable of being a loving father. 

When she was bor they could see the disappointment in their father's eyes. They peaked and saw it was a girl. Poor thing, she was going to be like them, or even worse since the last dragon blood had been wasted on her. There would be no other magic to create a being like her again. The was the first time they saw their sibling. They ignored her for a while knowing the nursemaids would take care of her. A newborn was boring, after all, they would introduce themselves to her when she was more interesting.

They didn't know why but for some reason they had an inkling to see their new sibling. Most likely to see if she had begun walking yet. Most likely so. She might be interesting at that age.

"Come here sweetheart come to Papa." It was their father's voice, but the tone was something they never heard before. Tones with kindness they heard. So the kindness in his tone didn't surprise them. not in the least. It was the warmth and fondness in it. Something he never used on it before. 

An inkling suspicion entered them. Filling them with a hurt and bitterness a child should never feel. They decided to peak to confirm their suspicion.

The scene was of a happy family. Lady Ingraine was sitting on the bed, hands clasped in worry, as she warily looked at the green-eyed child with a determined expression. There was warmth in the queen's eyes, warmth she never showed them. But that was fine, she was kind to them after all, she just didn't love them. Which was to be expected, they weren't hers after all. The love Ingraine had for this girl child did not hurt them in the slightest. After all, they pinned Ingraine down to be a mother-woman. It was not unusual to see a mother love her child the way Ingraine did.

it was the warmth in the eyes of the man the little girl was walking to that made them feel the inkling of hatred towards there sibling. Love, there was love in their father's eyes. Love directed towards this Pendragon, it was then they directed such enmity towards this little girl that she herself must have felt it. For their sibling had fallen down and started crying

Uther Pendragon went to her and picked her up. They were unseen, running after that.

Their father loved That girl, Their father loved that brat, but not them. From that moment onwards they felt nothing but hatred for Arturia Pendragon. When their father announced he was not going to legitimize them, they seethed being reminded of the love their father had for his female heir. Unwanted tears had dripped down their cheeks as eyes of pity were directed towards them. Pity they did not want, but they didn't leave, that was unsightly after all.

They knew were father went every free time he had. Since lady Ingraine was gone, most people assumed it was a tryst. They knew better. He was visiting the brat, giving her the love they never had. She was hidden in secret for her safety. The king cared for little Arturia's safety after all.

When the brat was sent away from the palace their hearts rejoiced, thinking they would finally have their father's love. How wrong they were. Father did not grow to love them, he was cold as ever. No, that was wrong he was colder than ever, it seemed like he couldn't even bear to look at them. Arguments arose between them until finally they were sent away.

They figured now their father hates them, well they hate him too now. But they hate their sibling more, and they swore they would make sure she fell.