Draco yawned quietly and sat up, wincing slightly as the cold air hit his warm skin. Jeez! Who had left the window open? It was cold in the room now! Draco swore he had shut all of them after he and Harry returned.
Draco’s eyes widened slightly as he turned his head to the side. At the sight of a second, smaller body curled up next to his, Draco’s lips pulled into a gentle smile. He was now remembering, with more clarity, what had happened yesterday after Harry had allowed him that bite. Instincts may have guided him with what to do with his docile submissive, but Draco was still very much aware of what was happening.
It was almost like Harry was asleep as Draco flew them back into Harry’s room. Though, that could’ve very well been the case. Passing out could technically be in the same category a falling asleep if you wanted to push it, right? You weren’t really conscious when asleep, and passing out literally meant you lost consciousness.
Draco shook his head to dispel his silly thoughts. It didn't matter what state Harry was in while he was carried, all Draco was concerned about was getting both of their wounded bodies cleaned and healed. A task made much simpler when, upon arriving back into the room, Narcissa had greeted her son with pure relief.
Maybe it made him a bad son, or maybe Draco just had too much trust in the house elves, but after spending a few moments thinking about it, he concluded that he wasn’t really concerned for his mother while chasing Harry. His main goal was catching his submissive and only when he had safely gotten Harry back into the manor and seen his mother waiting for him had Draco remembered that Harry had hurt her previously. Narcissa had told him that she wasn’t offended by Draco’s lack of focus towards her. It was to be expected really...that Draco would follow after Harry when Harry instigated the chase.
Speaking of the chase...it didn’t end how it traditionally ended. Usually, after the mating bite, the actual ‘mating’ would take place to complete the bond. However, seeing as how Harry had passed out from being overwhelmed while Draco was biting him, that obviously didn’t happen. In the grand scheme of things, neither Draco or Narcissa were too worried about that detail. Draco even admitted that he didn’t think he’d be able to take Harry while he was in that type of daze anyway.
It would feel too much like rape, Draco had explained previously. He wanted Harry to fully respond to his touch, to his lovemaking. If Harry was as out of it as he was yesterday while they were mating, it would seem too much like Harry was drugged. That part just didn’t sit well with Draco and, after it had been explained to her, Narcissa shared the same thought process.
The actual ‘mating’ part of the bond would just have to wait then. That was fine. It wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t the end of the world. Draco could be patient when he wanted to be and Harry was certainly more than worth it.
Now then, onto more present matters...how should Draco go about waking Harry up?
Likely, Harry would be...uncertain about how to react to his current position. He may be slow to remember what had happened yesterday, or just slow on reacting to what had happened. Either way, it meant that he might become anxious upon seeing Draco in his bed. He may become anxious upon seeing Draco so close to him.
The knowledge hurt a bit. Draco would prefer that Harry be at peace upon realizing that they had been cuddled together almost all night. But Draco also knew that that might be pushing it a bit. Harry had passed out yesterday, after all. He didn’t remember anything past Draco biting him. He didn’t remember how gently, how carefully, Draco had handled him after getting him back to the manor.
Draco grumbled to himself as he leaned down and gave Harry’s forehead a long-lasting kiss. Draco’s lips remained on Harry’s skin, moving around what areas of Harry’s face they could reach, before any signs of waking up became noticeable. Harry’s face scrunched up a bit, most likely feeling uncomfortable at being woken up from his peaceful slumber. It brought a smile to Draco’s face. It meant that Harry was feeling comfortable enough in his current position to allow his vulnerability to be shown.
There was a small possibility that Harry was still super tired from yesterday and just wanted to rest more, instead of being comfortable in his presence, but Draco didn’t entertain that thought for long.
“Good morning, darling.” Draco murmured against Harry’s cheeks as Harry finally opened his eyes. They weren’t open very wide, there were still strong signs of sleep in the green orbs, but Draco only found the sight adorable. It was honestly a shame that Draco needed to pull Harry out of that state. “Have a nice rest?”
Harry hummed in content as Draco pressed a few more loving kisses to his cheeks. He was feeling pretty floaty right now. His mind was still foggy and he had a hard time getting his limbs to move. He was literally a potato right now.
“Come now love.” Draco chuckled as Harry continued to lie beside him. It was adorable and Draco really hated himself for disturbing the peace, but it had to be done. “We need to get up. We have a lot to talk about today.”
Again, Harry didn’t really respond other than a small whine. He was still very tired, his limbs felt sore and heavy while his mind was a broken puzzle of foggy memories. Getting up and having to face the world while in this state was not appealing. The world was dark, it was cold and confusing. This bed, these sheets, this pillow...they were all soft and warm. They were comfortable. And he had his dominant here to take care of him-wait…
Harry blinked a few times. His mind was foggy, filled with disconnected memories, but dominant? He would remember if he had mated with someone recently and now had a dominant. It was a pretty big deal, after all. Though...his limbs did feel sore right now, and there were only so many activities that one could do that would result in their limbs being sore. Working out was one of them, a popular one. Harry should know, Hermione wasn’t kidding when she claimed that he had obtained a fair amount of his injuries from Quidditch.
The other one...Harry blushed furiously, mind suddenly shaping up at the possibility. It left him with a headache, of course, but now he was most definitely awake.
‘Merlin’s balls!’ Harry gasped and sat up, hands wandering over his body in search for any bruises, markings, or anything that could point out to what he had done yesterday. ‘Please don’t tell me that I…! I couldn’t of…! Draco wouldn’t of allowed-!’
Draco...Harry shivered while his veela purred at the name. Shit...shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! This wasn’t a matter of mating with just any dominant, Harry realized with horror. He and Draco had fought yesterday! Draco had chased him around the manor. Harry had encouraged Draco to chase him around the manor! Sweet mother of mercy...what had they done?! What had he done?! What had he been thinking?!
“I couldn’t of...we didn’t…” Harry stuttered as he turned to face Draco, bright green eyes beginning to water at the possibility that Draco had mated with him. Mated with him...while they were both in that state...while they were both out of their minds…
“Tell me we didn’t.” Harry whispered, sounding the most scared Draco had ever heard from his love. “Draco...we didn’t. You tell me right now that we didn’t...do it...while we were both completely out of it.”
Draco eyed his submissive sadly and tried to reach out to Harry, tried to take Harry into his arms so he could cuddle him. So he could comfort him. He ended up needing to bite his bottom lip to keep from whining as Harry sat up and shielded away from him. Like Draco had feared (himself), Harry was scared. He didn’t remember what happened last night after he was bitten and has already assumed the worst.
Harry has already assumed that Draco had...taken him...while he was unconscious. Well, maybe Harry hadn’t outright said that, but the implication was presented pretty strongly. Draco was hurt and a bit nervous on how to proceed from here, but he was also plenty offended.
Draco had acknowledged long ago that Harry had thought him to be many things. An asshole, a bastard, a cheater, a blood-racist, a prick, a git...a lot of negative things that Draco could admit were true. Some of them, at least. Mostly the asshole and the blood-racist part. What Draco would not allow Harry to believe, two things Draco would not allow Harry to believe, were: that Draco used him/dated him as a joke and never loved him, or that Draco was a rapist.
Draco wasn’t either of those things. While he certainly wasn’t opposed to admitting that he was fucked up in more ways than one (a lot of pureblood creatures were for crying out loud), there were definitely those limits that not even he would push.
“Darling...we didn’t.” Despite the hurt that Draco was feeling, he forced himself to coo at Harry. He forced himself to appear calm and loving as to not cause his submissive anymore distress. “I promise you, I wouldn’t do that to you. I love you too much to do that to you…”
Harry swallowed audibly as Draco opened his arms. The other was either expecting Harry to give in to his desire for comfort from the dominant or he was trying to show Harry that he meant no harm. Harry didn’t take any chances either way. He couldn’t afford to. He didn’t have any recollection from yesterday after Draco had bitten him and he didn’t trust Draco to tell him the truth.
But...perhaps he should try? The entire reason Draco cheated on Harry was because he didn’t want to rush Harry. He didn’t want to pressure Harry with his urges, so he sought out an individual that he didn’t care too much about using. Why would that change now? Begrudgingly, Harry had to admit that Draco was an intelligent individual. Besides, it didn’t take that much intelligence to conclude that taking Harry against his will (after making such a big deal about not doing that) would only result in Harry being eternally afraid of Draco. Angry too, but mostly afraid.
Not something any dominant wanted their submissive to feel concerning them and their bond.
“All I did was bite you.” Draco continued to coo as he watched Harry’s eyes. There were some tears forming, but none had started to fall. With any luck, Draco would be able to calm Harry down before they did fall. “I didn’t touch you like that. I didn’t even consider it. Darling, please, you have to believe me when I say that I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Why should I?” Harry whispered, growing more and more frustrated as Draco only tilted his head in confusion. Bastard...he had no right to be confused! Draco knew there were plenty of good reasons that Harry had for not wanting to trust him. “You...you kidnapped me! You brought me here against my will, you threatened to hurt Hermione just to intimidate me to going back to you! Why should I believe that you wouldn’t do the one thing that would guarantee that I have to stay by your side forever?”
The tears had begun to fall now, not that Harry cared. He was sore, he was tired, he was hurt, he was angry, he was even more hurt...he has earned the right to cry.
Draco reached forward and pulled Harry into him before he really thought about what that action would do to his crying submissive, before he really thought about how Harry would view his attempt at comforting. “Harry, listen to me.” He murmured, gently but firmly as he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair. “I know you’re angry, I know you don’t trust me, and I’m sorry. I’m eternally sorry that I made you like this. Please, believe me, there hasn't been a day that’s gone by where I don’t regret hurting you like I did.”
“Stop it!” Harry sobbed, though he made no move to push Draco away. He really did want comfort right now and, whether he wanted to admit it or not, the comfort that Draco was offering him felt too soothing to push away. So, against the more logical part of his brain, Harry buried his face into Draco’s chest. “Just...stop! I’m trying to move on from you! You lying, cheating, manipulative git! Why can’t you just let me go?! Why do you still keep me here?!”
‘Here?’ Draco blinked a few times, the fingers he had in Harry’s hair pausing as he tried to translate what Harry was saying. Harry had only been in the manor for a few days, so that probably wasn’t what he was referencing. He couldn’t of been talking about how Draco still claimed Harry as his either, Draco only really reminded Harry of that a couple times after the school year began. It wasn’t nearly as much as Draco would’ve liked to do, but picking your time wisely was the smarter choice than simply giving in to desperation. That...and it’s not like Harry acknowledged those attempts anyway, he mostly just got annoyed.
So what did Harry mean when he said that Draco was keeping him somewhere?
“Darling…” Draco shushed Harry when the others sobs started to raise in volume. Harry was getting more and more agitated by the moment. Draco couldn’t stop that agitation completely, it’s already developed. What he could do is keep it from getting out of control though. “Sweetheart, what do you mean? You have only been in the manor a few days now…”
Draco already knew that the manor wasn’t what Harry was talking about. It was obvious. But perhaps playing dumb and pretending to be naive would get Draco his answer without needing to fight with Harry for it.
“I’m not talking about your stupid house!” Harry’s screech was somewhat smothered by Draco’s chest. It was probably a good thing, even Harry acknowledged that. “I mean...I’m trying to...for fucks sake! I mean you! You’re still in my mind constantly, everything about you! What we used to be, what we used to share...how you were before you cheated on me!”
Draco’s eyes widened at the same time that Harry finally mustered up the strength to shove Draco away from him. He didn’t need comfort anymore. Now, he needed to scream. He needed to get everything that had been bothering him out. He needed to do it now, while he and Draco were alone, if he had any hope of being free from it.
“Before you cheated, you were getting better!” Harry glared as Draco continued to stare, silently, at him. “You were nicer to Hermione and Ron, you were actually sweet instead of just being a smug prick! You showed me you had a heart, but I guess I shouldn’t of gotten my hopes up!”
The words spilled effortlessly out of Harry’s mouth and all Draco had to respond with was a shocked stare and a rapidly beating heart. He hadn’t expected this from Harry, but watching just how upset Harry was about it, Draco was actually happy that Harry was saying this. It hurt to hear, it really did. It felt like millions of knives, millions of knives where the blades had been heated, were twisting their way into his chest.
But besides the pain, it also meant that Harry was letting it out. Soon, he’d feel free from the burden that he’d been carrying for the past several months. He was bringing forth his pain and allowing Draco to see it. This way, they could both take steps towards healing. Draco would know what he needed to know with how to make it up to Harry and Harry might be more willing to at least see what Draco would do.
“But even after all that...I still loved you!” Harry sniffed a bit. Tears were still falling down his cheeks, causing his eyes to go puffy. He wasn’t sobbing anymore though, a sign that maybe he had already burned himself out. He had been going on and on, even as Draco was in deep thought. “I still love you and I hate that about me! I hate that even though you are literally one of the worst people I know, even though you’ve hurt so many people that mean a lot to me, that I still love you! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I hate myself for it!”
Draco had heard enough at that point. Harry was starting to grow hysterical now, his hands that had previously been crushing the sheets in an iron grip were now in his hair. They were pulling at the soft looking dark locks and Draco was actually afraid that Harry might yank just about all of his hair out. His claws had not come out yet, thank goodness, or else Harry’s scalp would be plenty bloody, but his eyes were shining dangerously now. Instead of how they were shining before, when they had tears building up, now they were just plain angry.
Harry was angry with himself.
Harry was physically hurting himself.
Draco had to stop him.
With a speed and force so great that Draco was sure he’d knock them both off the bed, he lunged at Harry.