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Still You

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You sat basking in the warmth of the sand, while listening to the soft sound of the waves, while you watched the sun slowly disappear behind the horizon. Your feet digging themselves deeper in the sand.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve been like this.”, Hyungwon stated next to you, making you look at him and smiling softly.

“Yes and I missed it. You here.”, you said and looked at your best friend. Your best friend that was so much more than just a best friend to you, but little did he know. His skin was glowing golden in the last strokes of sunlight and you couldn’t grasp how beautiful he looked. The wind softly messing up his hair, his closed eyes enjoying the silence. You couldn’t help but get your phone out and take a photo of him. At the sound of the camera going off he opened his eyes shooting you a knowing glance.

“So I’m really this handsome, huh?”, he laughed quietly and you playfully rolled your eyes.

“You wish.”, a giggle left your lips and he shook his head, smiling softly.

“Quit lying, Y/N. We both know I am.”, he stated and you decided not to argue any further, because he was right. You looked towards the sea again, closing your eyes and pulling your knees close to your body.

“Tell me something.”, you begged, keeping your eyes closed. You missed his voice since you hardly got to call each other while he was on tour, mostly because the schedule was packed and you had missed each other due to the different time zones. Mostly you were texting, giving little updates about your day and sending selfies, but it still was nothing compared to being with a person. The both of you always got along great, some days just sitting in silence and watching the neighbourhood from your balcony, other days you were talking about how much you despise that geography teacher of yours and sometimes you even comforted each other through the heartbreaks you faced. Not that it had been many, but you just found someone who you could share everything without being judged.

“What do you want to know?”, he asked back and you shrugged.

“I’m not selective, you can just tell me what’s on your mind lately or what you had for dinner or what the other members are up to. You have all the choice in the world.”

 

Hyungwon looked at you for a moment and a moment turned into some more. He couldn’t tell when it happened, that he became nervous around you. He also couldn’t tell when he started staring at you more often, talking about you more and more to a point where his members started teasing him. He couldn’t tell when he became so aware of all the little things you do and he surely couldn’t tell when the warmth started building in the pit of his stomach, whenever you laughed or hugged him. He doesn’t even know when he started falling for you. He just knew he did indeed fall for you. The months on tour have been hard, he enjoyed touring and seeing his fans all over the world, but he missed you and the occasional naps you took together when both of you had a long day. All the times you got up to eat with him in the middle of the night, just so he could see you for a bit in between his schedule. He missed you through the day and he can’t stop himself from thinking about you. He knew that he couldn’t date, he knew he could never do it openly not with him being an idol but it was so hard to stay away and supress the feelings. It was hard because it’s always been you. Whenever he had a hard time it was you he could go to talk about it. When he was sick, it was you who he wanted to take care of him. It was you and he was so, so tired of just being your best friend. He tried to stay away, hoped the distance of the tour would make his feelings disappear, but staying away from you was even harder than staying your best friend. It even reached the point where his members noticed the glances he sometimes threw at you. He wanted to say something so bad, scream it out loud, but he just couldn’t because the crush he was having on you made him so shy. He didn’t even know how to handle it properly. It did surprise him when Minhyuk sat him down and started a full 2h inquisition about what the heck was going on and then another hour of giving him advice. It was weird, but it helped, but it also didn’t. He kind of felt stuck after that, still does, what he thought when he planted the idea of a best friends trip was still a mystery to him, but it’s been a day already and he can feel all the stress of the past months leave his body. Just your presence comforted him enough and yet he couldn’t tell you that the only thing on his mind was you.

 

“A lot of things, but mostly I’m glad to be back home.”, he said pushing his hands through his hair.

“Mhm, I’m glad you’re back too.”, you answered and made not only Hyungwons heart skip a beat. Maybe you should just come clean – just to get it off your chest.

“You know it’s great to get to know Monbebe all over the world. It really is - but coming home is better.”, Hyungwon said while resting his head on your shoulder, making you a bit giddier than you wanted it too, but you just couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, especially sleeping in your own bed again. Whenever I’m away I can’t wait to come back to my bed.”, you said and Hyungwon lifted his head off your shoulder. And coming back to you, you thought, but never once spoke it out loud.

“Ouch.”, was all he said and you laughed.

“Oh come on, as if you out of all people don’t miss your bed.”, on that he smiled shrugging his shoulders. Your words didn’t exactly hurt him, but it made him feel a bit gloomy, because you weren’t wrong, but you weren’t completely right either. He also anticipated coming back to you and seeing you again. It sounded so cheesy, he kind of cringed at himself there for a bit.

“I also can’t wait to see your stupid face again.”, he blurted out, looking in the distance again. The sun was already gone and it slowly but steadily became darker. You looked at him, surprised by his words and the butterflies in your stomach going wild and you were absolutely unsure what to do since you had the exact same thought.

“Same.”, you breathed out, looking into the distance as well. You knew it could become awkward, saying what you want to say. You wanted to so desperately, but Hyungwon beat you to it.

“No, you don’t understand. Sometimes missing you is all I can think about and when I’m back all I think about is still you.”, he said, laughing lightly, nervously not sure why exactly he said that, but he just felt like it. It’s not like anyone was around anyway, he just wanted to say what was on his mind once. Just once. You were stunned at his words, the butterflies in your stomach going wild. Really you didn’t know what to do, but it wasn’t important, all you wanted to do really was hold his hand and squeeze it tight, to silently say what you just couldn’t put in words right now. So you carefully reached for his hand and interwined your fingers just to give his hand a tight squeeze, while smiling to yourself. In that Moment Hyungwon swore you become even prettier than before, he couldn’t supress a light nervous chuckle before looking at you smiling shyly and squeezing your hand even harder.