I can’t believe I'm doing this, but I think it’s the only way I can tell you how I feel about you. So, here goes nothing. I know that it'd be best to tell you in person, but I'm too scared. Whenever I'm near you, I just can't find the right words. I don't think I ever will.
I've known you for years now Ace. Heck, we've been friends since we were kids. Do you remember back when we were twelve, on my birthday, you gave me my green hair ribbon? You were blushing like crazy, and stuttering just like Pinkster, as though you didn’t know how to give a birthday present to a girl. I still wear that hair ribbon to this day, and every time I put it on, it reminds me of you. We spent so many years together. You've been my best friend all throughout my childhood, and even in high school and college, no one could take your place. However, when we graduated and were heading off to university, I must admit, I thought that you were going with me. I thought we’d still be together. But instead, while I tried out for the cheerleading team, you became a stuntman. I confess, since you would surely become this awesome, famous actor that would have tons of girls drooling over you, I thought you would forget me.
Then came Zadavia's meteor that gave us all our superpowers. Sure, it was epic to be able to get super-hearing and brain-blasts, but the best thing that happened because of that meteor was seeing you again. I'm not even gonna beat around the bush, when I first saw you in the uniform blasting away at our enemies with your laser-vision, my heart kinda stopped. Have you ever felt that? I mean, seeing something so amazing that your heart just stops beating, just for a second? If you have, I'm sure that it wasn’t about me in any way. I know I sound self-pitying, but that's how I feel. How am I supposed to believe that a leader as amazing as you can ever fall in love with someone well, with someone like me? I have nothing special. Sure, I've known you for years, and I have superpowers, but what does that matter? To you, I'm probably just another Jane-Doe, not someone with whom you’d be ready to spend the rest of your life with.
In case you hadn’t realized it by now, I don’t just like you as a friend, Ace. I love you. I have ever since well, forever. If you hadn’t noticed, I guess I’m quite the actress. When we’re in the same room, it takes all my strength to keep my legs from wobbling or my hands from shaking. Even if you so much as look at me, my heart starts up a crazy rhythm and I can feel my face heat up. Do you remember when we met Optomatus for the first time, when we used Zadavia’s ship and it exploded? Well, let’s just say that I’ve never been so scared in my life. I thought that you had gone down with the ship. I thought that you had died. The thought of losing you is the most terrible thought in the world. I can’t live without you Ace. Sure, you make me weak in the knees, but you also make me feel like I can do anything. You’re my weakness, but you’re also my strength. You’re my everything.
But that’s another problem. You mean the world to me Ace, but I’m nothing to you. That’s why I’ve spent many a sleepless night, just thinking about you. I can never get you off my mind. You’re like my drug: sending me off on these insane highs when we’re together. So high, that when I’m alone in my bed, I come crashing down. Still, even when it seems clear to me that we’re just friends, my mind will weave all sorts of endless fantasies of just you and me, all with some kind of affection, romance or lust. Yeah, lust. I blame my stupid hormones for that. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, thinking that the dream I’d just had was real, swearing that you were right next to me; until I realize that it was just a dream. Then I won’t fall asleep at all and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning in a feverous insomnia, calling myself an idiot, a love-sick fool to give my heart to someone unreachable, unattainable and therefor desirable all the more.
I’m kidding myself, writing you this letter. Perhaps some tiny part of me, the foolish romantic part, thinks that upon reading this, you’ll develop feelings for me. But it’s a foolish hope. Also, I don’t really want that. If you ever fall in love with me, I don’t want it to be caused by just this letter, or some love charm. I want it to be real. I want to know that, if you love me at all Ace, I want you to love me for who I am. Please don’t hate me because of this letter; I just had to write it. I had to tell you somehow; find some way to finally make my feelings for you known. If you felt the same way I did and kept your own emotions bottled up for so long, you would understand.
Now, the only thing I can do is wait for your answer; whether it’s a letter from you, or face-to-face, I want, no, I need to know soon Ace: Do you love me too? Is there just a chance, just a small one that you feel the same way I do? Until I know, I’ll just wait and cry myself to sleep, as I’ve done on those few nights I actually slept.
I’ll say it again: I love you Ace. I always have, and I always will.
(P.S: Ignore those blotches on the paper, I’m not crying much okay I am. So much for being the tough girl.)