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The lost of what I had.

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*Catra POV-

Things were different.

Too different now.

 

It physically hurts to be close to her. Someone who I thought was my best friend, my sister. But it turns out I was wrong, even the promise we made all those years ago couldn't stand up against the changes that came and took everything away from me.

It hurts to breathe, for I missed her scent. Her warm, calm and honey like scent that washed over me whenever I became too upset or angry. It was a reminder that she was there for me, by my side always. But now, when that scent comes to me, all it brings is heart ache.

My skin is cold without her touch, without her hugs and warmth. I miss her being near me. I can't sleep at night anymore for she isn't there with me, I'm all alone and feel so left open and unsafe in the world. She was my everything to me when I had nothing.

 

She left me.
She left me all alone, like I was nothing to her.

 

Once again I was left all alone by someone who I cared about, by someone who at one point cared about me.
My family.
I can't really remember them at all, just glimpses of their faces, their scent. But what I can remember is being left alone and having Shadow Weaver find me just like she did with Adora.

I've been going through changes without her and it hurts me all the time. She was always there with me and now I am all alone and she is out with other people, having fun and smiling while I am sad and full of anger. Can't she understand how much it hurts? Did I seriously mean so little to her that her life without me is so much better, that she doesn't feel the lost that I do? She was my best friend, my sister and protector even when I didn't want her to be. She was there through all the hard times and the good times. Can she not remember the life we shared? Did she never have any good times with me? Did she never truly care about me?

She has changed. She is the one who became different, not me! So I shouldn't be the one hurting this much, she left me!

 

So maybe the only way for her to see me, if she ever did see me in the first place, is to be the villain of her princess, hero story that she wants to believe is what truly matters. Not us, not our bond, not...me.

So I will take all my hurt, my anger and show it to her and maybe in hopes that she will see the pain she is inflicting upon me and come back, come back home to me. I miss her so badly but she doesn't seem to care, feel or notice it. Maybe one day she'll wake up and remember who i was to her and then she will see the damage she has caused upon me and my heart. Maybe one day she'll wake up and see me standing right before her and feel something, or maybe she'll wake up and she won't know me anymore or if she ever did.