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Three Times Carol and Maria Got Married

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Cover art by dapattty

Podfic Length: 08:10

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1. The first time Carol and Maria ever got married, everything about it was perfect.

Monica hadn’t stopped grinning since they’d landed on Xandar to a perfectly beautiful day. The weather on Xandar never failed to be perfect. Carol suspected that the Xandarians manipulated it to be just the right amount of everything, but she hadn’t been able to completely confirm it. Actually, it was almost suspiciously pleasant. Well, she certainly wasn’t going to go looking into anything nefarious or just scientifically neat if the warmth of the suns shining on them kept Maria smiling and Monica’s constant excited chatter.

Besides, Xandar hasn’t been brainwashing warriors and sending them out to systematically destroy the universe.

“Space Mom, why did you wait to show me all this cool stuff?” Monica asked, gesturing to the city below them with a small bouquet of flowers. She’d picked the flowers with Corpsman Day’s little girl who currently leaned over the rail’s edge with Monica.

“We’re glad that you’re enjoying your time with us on Xandar, Captain Danvers and Ms. Rambeau,” the Nova Prime said, inclining her head at each of them. The Nova Prime had the best view of the city from here in her command. “Shall we?”

“You know you didn’t have to go to all this trouble to impress me, right?” Maria asked, somewhere between serious and deeply amused.

“Of course I did,” Carol said. “Besides, Nic said I should make an honest woman out of you.”

“Nic just wanted to get off of Earth to avoid paperwork,” Maria said, rolling her eyes.

“Nic can hear you,” Fury said, primly adjusting his eye patch. “Besides, I wouldn’t miss seeing two of my favorite people publically pledging their love to each other.”

“Romantic,” Carol chides, smiling fond.

“Your damn right,” Nic flicks imaginary dust off his shoulder, giving a nod at Nova Prime.

“Very well, if you’ll both join hands, I’d be honored to perform the ceremony,” Nova Prime said.

Corpsman Day chose that moment to loudly blow his nose on some sort of paper towel. “Sorry, I just get so emotional at weddings.”

“Ain’t no shame in that,” Fury said, reaching over a linen handkerchief.

Carol got to kiss Maria as the suns set, backlighting them in vibrant reds and purples.


2. Knowhere remained a complete dump of a rock full of rowdy criminals and obnoxious characters, least of which was just the Guardians of the Galaxy. Under the recommendation of the Guardians, they’d all piled into a bar.

It wasn’t their bar. Sure music blasted from some sorta of box that was loud with bass that she could nearly feel in her toes, but it wasn’t Pat Benetar. Yeah, the floor was sticky underfoot with what Maria hoped was mostly whatever the hell that bright pink stuff everyone seemed to order was. No one tried to get handsy with them here either as they still had the air of Ladies Not to Be Fucked With even in space. But it wasn’t the dive that they cut their badass karaoke teeth in under a desert sky.

“I still can’t believe you used your blasty hands and killed our old dive’s jukebox,” Maria grumbled.

“I was making a point,” Carol said, grinning ear to ear.

“Sometimes the best points are made with explosions,” Rocket said, saluting with his shot glass and knocking back something violently orange.

“I AM GROOT” Groot bellowed.

“No you can’t! You are a growing tree!” Quill said, hands on his hips as if to assert his authority.

“I am Groot,” Groot grumbled and it sounded quite disparaging about Quill in general. Quill looked like he’d bitten a lemon.


“Language,” Carol chided, “it’s our anniversary.”

“Though points for using aardvark in a particularly filthy context,” Maria added.

“What anniversary?” Drax asked.

“Our wedding on Nova Prime,” Maria said.

“Which was originally the first time we kissed,” Carol said, remembering the taste of lip gloss and beer and the warmth of Maria’s mouth against the chilled desert air.

“After you got us kicked out of the bar for the night after starting that fight,” Maria scolded, but she was smiling.

“That sounds so romantic,” Quill said and even looked like he meant it.

“Like Kevin Bacon,” Gamora intoned while Quill groaned.

“Y’all got some weird ideas about Kevin Bacon,” Maria said.

“Well, I am certified to marry anyone in Knowhere and we’ve got plenty of time to pick a fight and get kicked out after,” Rocket clapped his paws together as he hopped up onto the bar.

“Aw, thanks Rocket,” Carol said, “but you don’t have to do that.” She didn’t have the heart to tell him that this would be their fifth wedding in space, nor did Maria.

Turned out to only be the third bar they’d gotten kicked out of in the universe, though.

3. Carol hated they she hadn’t been keeping up with current events back home, but keeping up with the universe at large took up most of her brain space. So, when Monica kept making pointed exasperated sighs and grumbling under her breath while Carol helped her pack up her apartment.

She couldn’t believe that the little girl she’d helped raise was going to space to work on the international space station, except that she could. Monica could do anything she put her mind to. Carol had seen it again and again.

“Why are you acting like a teenager and you’re over me?” Carol asked taping another box shut. “Because I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me.”

“Why aren’t you and mom getting married?” Monica asked, slumping down onto her couch.

“Hon, we are married,” Carol said, sitting down across from her on the coffee table and nudged Monica’s foot. “You were there. You picked us flowers and charmed the entire Nova Corp.”

“Well yeah, but you aren’t married here,” Monica said.

“Because we can’t, but we haven’t felt like we needed to?” Carol didn’t mean to make it a question.

“It’s been legal for three weeks, Space Mom,” Monica said, throwing up her hands. “How have you not jumped at the chance?”

“Three weeks!?! Why didn’t you beep me?” Carol said, standing and grabbing Monica by the hand. “Come one. We’re getting Maria and getting married because Earth finally got its shit together. Colonel Rhodes owes me a favor.”

“Marrying you will probably be the least exciting thing to happen to the Colonel today as he was spotted on Stark’s twitter,” Monica said, hopping into Carol’s arms as she took off. Sure, she could wait 30 minutes for Maria to show up with the truck, but storing Monica’s stuff could wait.

Sure, it wasn’t the first wedding they’d ever had, but it was Carol’s favorite. Stark’s ridiculous toast about the beauty of love was not the best thing she’d ever heard, but the three crates of champagne Pepper ordered or the reception more than made up for it.