In a life that feels long, yet is so very short, makes one realise just how little they do know about the world around them. About everything that is seemingly going on underneath the fingertips of those who rules the masses, for those who rule countries with steel and blood versus those who rule with kindness in their heart.
Many a folk would look up to these individuals, the leaders of countries and men, those who make the difficult decisions and somehow live to see the next dawn.
However not all of those who are being looked up to are just as lucky, some wake up in pain, an outwordly pain that they have never before fully know, a feeling of being torn apparent constantly from the inside out without any of their blood being spilled upon the soft bed-sheets.
To wake up with a scream in the throat that they barely manage to keep locked away deep inside themselves, to know that come the morrow and they may not be who they once was.
The dawn may come and what wakes up is not what went to bed the previous night.
You awaken however once more, body aching and sore with the taste of bile yet in your mouth. Moving is agony yet you still keep on moving after all you were never one to ever give up.
Give up was never in your job description one might say, the warrior of light, champion of the Source, the bringer of light, titles often used towards you and also when referring to you, which is why it might be strange to instead being called the warrior of darkness, the brighter of darkness here in the First. A new mantle that would sound ominous in your world, a title not worthy those who fight for the lands survival nor the peace and freedom of those repressed by them with the mightier steel.
But here, here the titles bring hope, you bring hope to these lands one lightwarden after another, however your latest deed did not end as well as you would have hoped.
You did succeed in killing the last lightwarden, you succeeded to bring the darkness back onto the shores of Kholusia, but sadly only for a few moments.
The deeds of those who tried to save you from the corrupted light within you, what tried to change you into the very thing you have sworn to fight and kill to free these lands from the ever presence of light.
All of those actions made by people ken to heroes gone in the blink of an eye.
One gun shot.
One man falls.
You on the ground, feeling your body being to shift and twist, bones so close to breaking to make way for a new being.
How merciful the dark was when it came upon you, only for you to wake up to Ardbert telling you and showing you just how wrong you were to hope that it was all a dream.
A dream would have been merciful upon you yet the light that shone so unnaturally outside reminded you that you were not yet done.
You are the warrior of darkness, and now you have brought the light back to the lands once relieved for the lights ever glowing presence.
Waking up is one thing, getting out of bed is one entirely different story.
The pains and aches of someone much older that you is very much present in your body. A reminder of what was happening to you days before, and what eventually will happen to you once more if your friends do not find a cure.
That is if there even is a cure to find in the first place.
The window in your room remains closed, maybe it be a remind of what you are causing to this world which makes it to much to bear, or maybe you forgot to open it. To afraid to look out onto the people below, what if they know and what if they blame you?
Sitting on the bed is an easy option, wallowing in your own self-pity is easy as well, but for once you might not care about such selfish acts, after all for once you are dying. Maybe the world could give you a day to be selfish, to feel like the walls are closing in and all you need is to curl up in the bed and just forget that everything outside of those closed doors exists.
Maybe if you were a different person you would do that, however being aware of what is going on outside and what is going on in you there isn't much rest to be had.
You are reminded of Alisaie, a girl that became a woman that became a friend and that later became something more. A shy smile here and a hand on the arm there, it was ever so slow at the start but neither of you did mind, slow was good to explore a new territory for the both of you. You took your time and nothing was wrong with doing so.
But when it was just the two of you left awake when all of the others had gone into the everlasting slumber, when she told you, no, demanded you to promise her that you would not leave her alone only for herself to promptly leave you all alone.
She is out there looking for a way to make sure that you live another day, so that you may yet live together another day, to keep giving each other those small shy smiles when you think no one else sees.
To gently touch each others hands when you think yourselves sure that no one is looking.
You stand up, how can you sit when they are out there potentially risking life and limb just so you can see another day.
How can you sit and wallow in your own self-pity when she is out there probably working herself to the bone refusing to give up on you.
Refusing to give up on what you two can be together once you go back home.
How can you sit and wait for death when she so readily throws herself into danger just to try to find a way, an impossible way, to save you?
The short answer is that you can't, for if she was in your place and you in hers, you would throw yourself into danger just for a flicker of hope that she could yet be saved. You would not want her to sit and wait for death, you would want to see her rest but still believe and keep hoping that she would see another day no matter how bleak the outlook would be.
You reach the door, a few inches between you and the rest of the people outside, those who do not know that you are the cause of the light returning.
But you already know what to do, if they fight and search for a cure then why shouldn't you do the same, and so you put your hands at the door handle.
And you open the doors, ready to face the light above you and inside of you.
ready to fight for a better tomorrow, for another today.