Love can’t be bought, someone once said.
Izuku used to be firm believer in the saying but he’s found that love can actually be learned. Ultimately it’s just the right concoction of physiological stimulation and if it can be mimicked through other means, then that can be called love as well. He knows this better than most, since he’s sure that there's no other word that could describe this feeling of absolute fixation and infatuation, served with a dash of dependency.
At some point within the last few months, he briefly remembers being kidnapped: he was walking home alone and someone had clamped a rag over his mouth. Once he inhaled he began to feel weak and soon enough, the world had faded to black around him.
It's hard to remember when he woke up because everything is such a blur. He remembers lights hanging above him and a dim, dark room. There were tight leather restraints keeping him bent over a breeding bench as something pumps between his legs, whining softly as it stretches him with the best, burning feeling that hurts so good. It takes him a bit to realize it's a machine with a rubber cock attached to it. There's a knot too but it can't fit just yet, smacking against his skin as lube dribbles out of his hole.
He's never had anything inside him before this—he's an alpha, after all—but it feels like someone had loosened him up quite nicely with lube and this machine that's been fucking him for possibly hours now. He was unconscious then but due to how drained and heavy his body feels, he suspects he must have came a few times already.
Shouldn't he be scared right now, though?
Fear is something that keeps slipping away somehow, swallowed by a haze that fills his brain with a light, airy feeling. It's so addicting he can't help but moan, drool dripping from his chin.
“It looks like you're awake.”
There's a hand cupping his face and Izuku's gaze drags upwards, clouded and glazed with his pupils blown wide. It's another alpha but he's so, so pretty: his eyes flare red and they're so... contemplative. His hair is also blonde and messy and spiked in different directions.
“I think I may have overdosed you a bit but that's fine,” he continues. “How's the experience so far?”
Izuku wants to say something but it comes out as a series of gasps and pants as the machine switches to a higher speed. He tries to press his knees together but there's a bar holding them far apart and he immediately whines.
The alpha laughs and Izuku internally melts, pleased with himself that he satisfied such a wonderful person. His body quivers as he feels a rough, calloused palm patting his flank like an animal. It eventually finds his ass, pulling one cheek apart as he inspects the rubber cock filling Izuku knot-deep with each thrust.
“Be sure to come lots,” the alpha says softly, catching Izuku's chin with his other hand to force him to look up. “I'm looking forward to seeing how much I can get from you.”
It isn't until now when he finally realizes there's a milker latched to his cock, swallowed around his knot as it works around the shaft with a delicious heat that's impossible to resist. There's also small suction cups attached to both nipples, tugging until they're pink and swollen. It only heightens his body's sensitivity and he finds himself climaxing frequently, just like the mysterious alpha predicted.
He returns daily to slide a needle into Izuku's neck and administer some concoction of drugs. Izuku has no idea what it is but he's too horny to care, simply happy to breed hour after hour. It's strange to imagine being made for anything but this, especially with the amount of endorphins pumping through his brain every minute.
After a series of months, he realizes there are some changes with his body: the alpha stopped applying lube weeks ago because Izuku is producing it on his own now, slick dripping from his hole. He's so loose now that the fat rubber knot slips in with ease and makes him feel so full that his eyes never fail to roll back every time. His own knot has also disappeared and his cock is a bit smaller than he last remembered.
“Now you're perfect,” the alpha coos, sliding two fingers in Izuku's mouth. The new omega doesn't hesitate before lapping at them, sucking them into his mouth instinctively. “You're such a good slut, I'm so happy your treatment went well.”
Treatment? Izuku doesn't bother to think much of it. It’s far too difficult when the knot is slowly working him open again, small cups pulsing around his nipples to stimulate him properly. Somehow those have gotten much more sensitive in the last few months and they ache fairly often.
“Now that you’re a mature omega, you’re not fit for this machine anymore. But I have another one just for you.”
And for the first time in nearly six months, the cock inside him stops pumping.
Izuku pants softly and glances between his legs, watching the rubber knot deflate and slowly slip out of him. It leaves him with an empty feeling that he finds too unfamiliar, and as soon as he straps are pulled off his wrists, he tries slipping his fingers back to work himself open again. But his hand is smacked away and he whimpers as he’s scooped up into large, strong arms.
He’s not sure where he’s being carried now—he’s so drugged that all he catches are occasional bright fluorescent lights whisking by—but he hears the faint echo of the alpha’s footsteps as he’s taken elsewhere, slick dripping insistently between his legs and onto the floor.
The next room is much more sterile: instead of concrete it looks like a lab, almost, with a machine that looks similar to the first. But there’s far more tubes and strange features that he’s never seen and isn’t certain what they’re used for. As the alpha drapes him across the cushioning, Izuku instinctively attempts to spread his legs and present with a whine.
“Not yet,” the alpha says, though he’s clearly amused. “You’re getting close though, since this is the final stage.”
It takes some maneuvering to keep Izuku on his back, as he keeps attempting to present, and ultimately the alpha has to strap him down to keep him in place. He whines again and pulls against the restraints, slick dribbling down his thighs. There’s nothing inside him anymore and it’s starting to terrify him. Without the constant rush of hormones, there’s an emptiness growing in his chest that he desperately wishes to push away.
“Now you can start to calm down.”
He eagerly shifts his hips as he sees the familiar shape of another rubber cock between his legs. The alpha guides the tip inside and Izuku realizes that it’s much bigger, stretching him wider than the last as his toes curl. Just thinking of how it’ll feel once the machine is turned on makes his mouth water, but for now the head of the cock rests at his entrance as slick builds up around it.
Similar to last time, he feels suction cups latch onto his nipples and a milker attach to his cock. This one is a bit smaller though, since his knot has disappeared. An oxygen mask is adjusted around his head as suction cups are placed in the area between his neck and shoulders. There’s swollen glands there, soft pink and sensitive. The alpha barely touches the edges when he hooks them up to the machine and Izuku feels a sudden rush of slick pulse from his twitching hole.
For the briefest of moments, the alpha slides his thumb across Izuku’s cheek. The gesture is loving, affectionate, and when Izuku’s eyes flutter open he meets the alpha’s gaze. It’s protective, somehow. Maybe even possessive.
“I do this all the time, you know.” As the alpha speaks, he feels the familiar sensation of rubbing alcohol being swabbed across the side of his neck. “I get contracts to turn alphas like you into fuckable omegas for anyone willing to pay the right price. The process is the same each time but I think I like you more, for some reason. You’re special.”
The praise goes straight to Izuku’s guts and he purrs softly, knees trembling a bit. Deep down he feels so lucky that he was chosen for this role. It’s such a privilege.
Meanwhile, the alpha pulls the cap off the syringe with his teeth and inspects the dosage. “I was contemplating this for a while but I think I’ll just tell the contractor that you died during treatment. I’ll give him back his money and maybe even double it. Then I can have you for myself.”
Izuku’s heart lifts and he whines thinly. That would be amazing and he could finally have an alpha to breed him, pump him with cum, and fill him with pups. It would be a dream come true and it’s all he could ever want for himself.
“I guess I’ll figure it out later.” The alpha cradles Izuku’s head and tips it to the side, exposing his neck. “For now, I’ll start the final phase of your treatment.”
There’s a familiar pinprick sensation and Izuku feels the needle slide in easily, injecting its contents into his bloodstream. It only takes seconds for him to feel the effects: his skin slowly heats up as a greater excess of slick dribbles from his hole. Right as his omega hindbrain kicks into high gear, the machine switches on and the cock within him starts to move. It’s so much bigger than the last one, stretching him so wide that his eyes roll. The moment he sucks in a breath, there’s gas pumping into the oxygen mask and the taste makes his mouth water.
“Concentrated alpha pheromones.” The voice comes as a narration but Izuku can barely hear, buzzing immediately starting around his cock as the contraption milks him. “They’ll relax you enough to keep your stamina. Omegas typically need it when they go into heat.”
Is that what this is? Heat?
But the thoughts are inevitably whisked away as soon as the alpha flicks the final switch. Suction cups start to work around his nipples and glands, blowing his pupils so wide as body shudders. The alpha slides his hand along Izuku’s flank to ground him and it works, temporarily, but it’s impossible to grasp his surroundings like this. There’s drugs pulsing in his brain, drawing endorphins he hadn’t even felt before as the cock within him mechanically thrusts.
His knees fall apart as the hand travels between them, sliding up his inner thigh. Izuku instinctively whimpers and tries to lean into the alpha’s touch, but he’s strapped down far too tightly to move. The effort earns him a chuckle and he hears the faintest scribbling of notes on a clipboard.
“You’re doing well so far,” the alpha says, pausing for a moment to chew on the end of his pen. “Slick consistency is normal, scent glands are at the right level of sensitivity, and your cock is pretty average for an omega. Not too big or too small, which means there were no complications with getting rid of the knot.”
Every breath Izuku takes is accompanied by another gush of slick, alpha pheromones filling his lungs with pulsing heat. The rubber cock stretches him wide as the knot smacks against his ass with each thrust but there’s something different this time. This one is bigger, so big in fact it reaches a mind-numbing spot far deeper within him. It makes his hips tremble and he moans as the cock works him open little by little, bit by bit. The attention to his scent glands keeps him so limp and relaxed that he offers no resistance as the knot slides only halfway inside with a slick, squelching sound.
The pressure of it makes him release a long whine, but once it’s tugged out by the machine, a gush of slick follows. It starts to push in a second time and he feels the tip of the cock stretch a bundle of nerves within him, making his vision blur with tears.
Is this what euphoria feels like?
The absolute peak of bliss, the tallest heights of what humankind can achieve? It’s so, so good that it feels like he’ll burst. It feels like he’s suffocating, pulled into the riptide of this intensity and to never be seen again. This is everything he could possibly want and more.
After a few more thrusts, the knot stretches him so wide he feels himself breaking. If it hurts he can’t feel it, mind collapsing inwards as he comes with a keening cry. Even as his seed is pulled through the milker, the knot shifts and pushes even deeper within him. The tip stretches against the swollen gland pulsing inside, placing so much pressure that laughter suddenly bubbles from his lips. It’s a little manic, a bit unhinged, but it comes with the rush and clashing hormones in his brain.
The outburst makes the alpha’s brow arch with surprise. “The cock you took on the last machine was something small to start out with, and although this one might seem bigger, it’s just the size of a beta. I think your lack of elasticity is working against you.”
Izuku wants to say something but the words come out mumbling and broken, splinters of language that can barely be understood. If this is only the size of a beta then he can’t imagine how good an alpha will feel.
“I’m going to try something to improve how much you can fit, but an overdose of drugs might mess with your mind. Not that there’s much in there anymore,” the alpha says with a scoff.
There’s another flick of a switch and suddenly, the cock pulls out to the tip only to sink inside once more. The pace is a bit more relaxed this time but the thrusts are steady, filling him with long, deep strokes. With each pump the knot pops inside for only a moment before tugging out once more. It leaves so much slick behind that Izuku finds himself panting, weakening from thirst.
He feels a swab of alcohol clean a small patch of skin on the inside of his arm. Then another pinprick, this time from an IV. His pupils are blown so wide that he can’t see, since the excess light blinds him, but he at least catches a glimpse of the alpha above him. Fingers slide through his hair and he hears soft murmurs of praise, detailing how good of a slut he’ll be after this.
It feels so wonderful to have the alpha stay by his side. He used to retreat often, but this time he doesn’t leave him unattended for a moment. Even after hours pass, Izuku still rides high on pheromones and occasional doses of drugs the alpha administers through the IV. He watches the pink fluid drip steadily, spacing out. The cock has been pumping inside him for so long that he can’t think of anything else. Vibrations stimulate his glands to keep him loose and entirely relaxed as whimpers and moans escape his lips.
“You’re doing so well,” the alpha says, brushing Izuku’s hair out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?”
Izuku whines softly but the response doesn’t seem to be enough, so the alpha pats his cheek in an attempt to make him reply. It’s difficult, since his throat is dry and he’s received nearly all his fluids through an IV, but he manages to release a soft whisper.
“Full.” It comes out breathless and slurred, especially as the knot works its way inside him once more. “S-So full.”
“I’d hope so. Do you like being full?” the alpha asks.
Izuku nods mutely, eyes glazed. It’s hard to pay attention to the conversation when it feels like his head is full of cotton. The world around him is caught in a haze, and whenever he tries to concentrate on any one thing, it seems to blur out of focus before he can reach it.
“You’re so close to being perfect. Only a few more weeks and your scent glands will have completely matured.” There’s another prick to his neck as he feels a rush of warmth pump through his blood. Slick collects at the rim of the knot, dripping to the floor. “Then you should be ready to take alpha cock like a proper omega. That’s what you’re for, after all.”
He believes it. Really, it’s not hard to: being hooked to a machine like this for months on end makes it obvious that this is his life’s purpose. This is what he was meant for, it’s what he was built for. He can feel the slick dribbling down his legs, the milker working around his cock, the mind-numbing buzz of the suction cups kneading his glands. Every part of him was created for an alpha to breed and use.
Life has never felt more right for him.
Izuku learns that the alpha’s name is Katsuki.
It sounds as good as it feels to say, so he tries to make use of it as much as possible. The only exception is when he’s handled a bit more rough than usual. Then all he can manage is Kacchan because it’s easier on the mouth when he’s being split open on the alpha’s cock. It’s far bigger than what he’s used to so his eyes often roll back, leaving him dazed when he’s bent over a desk or pounded into the mattress.
The temporary high can be more than enough to last him a couple hours, but it eventually becomes apparent that he has trouble functioning without it. Maybe it’s the time he spent on the machines but he almost always finds his mood scraping rock bottom when he’s not full. It leads to him stuffing himself with his fingers or anything else he can get his hands on, desperately trying to keep calm. He gets anxious when he feels empty because it’s so unfamiliar, so foreign that it terrifies him.
In fact, it’s kind of scary how dark his mind becomes when Katsuki isn’t with him. His mind spins tangents of his worthlessness and self loathing, feeling nothing but sick disgust with himself for not being able to fulfill his only purpose. The pain is agonizing and it feels like nothing can be done to satiate him. It’s a bottomless pit, a chasm that opens wide beneath him and nothing will ever make him feel whole.
One day Katsuki accidentally comes across Izuku sinking onto the bedpost, rubbing his swollen glands and whining as his knees tremble. It stretches him wide enough to feel full but Katsuki wasn’t happy at all. If anything he seemed frustrated, which was confusing and it was the last reaction Izuku wanted to see.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Katsuki growls as he draws blood for Izuku’s first checkup. “You’re acting like a sex-crazed freak, even for an omega. It shouldn’t be happening because you’re not in heat.”
Izuku wants to protest but he’s not sure what he could say to make him feel better. All he can do is keep his head down as his alpha runs the tests. A couple hours pass before the printer warms up and releases the results.
“Your dopamine and serotonin levels are ridiculously low,” Katsuki says eventually, flipping through the papers. “I think overdosing you during the treatment was a bad decision on my part. Now you can’t release certain hormones or neurotransmitters that are necessary for daily function, at least without a dick in your ass all the time.”
At first Izuku was terrified that it meant he was broken but it turns out that Katsuki has a solution for everything. Along with his daily omega hormone shots, he also takes boosts that supplement and compensate for what his brain currently lacks. It doesn’t fix all his problems, however, as he still has mental side effects from the machines. Sometimes when Katsuki isn’t around, he’ll question his identity and his worth for hours. He’ll try to remember what it felt like to be full and he’ll attempt to remind himself of why he exists, but it rarely works completely.
So in the meantime, he’ll do what he’s made for.
It’s probably compulsive how often he fingers himself, sliding one at a time to stretch himself out. If he needs more lubricant, he’ll just roll his scent gland against his thumb and slick will drip between his legs like magic. He tries not to get caught by Katsuki because of how upset the alpha was last time. It feels like betrayal but he has no choice.
If his fingers aren’t enough—and usually they’re not—he’ll resort to sliding other things inside him. He stays far away from the bed post this time, since he doesn’t want to make Katsuki angry again, but he’ll use a variety of pencils, pens, spoons, etcetera. If he absolutely needs to, he’ll rise on the tips of his toes and sink onto door knobs that give the familiar stretch of knots. Sometimes they’re big enough to make him come untouched.
The desperation starts to get out of hand and he starts to whine persistently when Katsuki gets home, following him around the house and clinging to him until the alpha gets so irritated that he bends him over and fucks him. It’s those times that feel the best, he feels the fullest, so he purposely tries to act out to get what he wants. He learns to toe the line though, because if he gets Katsuki too angry, he’ll earn a hard smack across the face or he’ll be caged.
But even so, Katsuki seems to like him regardless. It’s a strange push and pull they have and the alpha ultimately finds his needy behavior endearing. Sometimes when they’re both spent and tied together with the knot, Katsuki will cradle Izuku in his arms. It’s so warm, so safe that Izuku swears it feels like home.
Home. It’s something he hasn’t thought about in a while, mostly because he can’t remember much before the machines. He would never admit it to Katsuki or even himself but something feels… wrong, on occasion. His body doesn’t feel like his own and there will be times where he’ll take a glimpse of himself in the mirror and wonder if this is how he should look like. At the same time, his reflection doesn’t seem familiar enough to align with his mind. It feels alien at times, like he adopted this appearance somehow.
The scent glands are the worst, he thinks. He’s not sure why but they evoke disgust within him and it nags at the back of his mind. Questions are dangerous and he probably shouldn’t ask them, but he can’t help but wonder why he feels so repulsed by their presence: they’re an off-putting cherry red and sensitive to the touch. They’re only as big as his thumbs but they feel so heavy, like he’s carrying the world on his shoulders and he wants nothing more than to make them disappear.
But why? He loves Katsuki and he loves who he is now. Being touched and bred and full is the best feeling in the world, so being anything but an omega just wouldn’t make sense.
And yet, even with the hormones and supplements being administered, he wonders if this is who he’s meant to be. Katsuki would disagree with his thoughts and probably assure him that he’s perfect just the way he is… but there’s a part of him that resists and aches to be something else. He’s not entirely sure what it is he wants but it’s not this body. It just doesn’t fit him at all.
The feeling grows and grows as time carries on, infesting him like the plague. There are nights where he lays awake, even with Katsuki curled around him, and he feels uncomfortable. He can’t tell if he doesn’t want to be here or if he just doesn’t want to be himself anymore. Either way it starts to make him sick with the anxiety of not knowing who he is.
Telling Katsuki would be a nightmare and he doesn’t want to upset him, so even as it intensifies, he keeps it completely to himself. He starts to avoid mirrors, glass, anything reflective that would serve as a reminder of his appearance. If he stares too long he feels panicked and sometimes even suffocated. His body feels claustrophobic, far too small for his thudding heart.
Katsuki stopped bathing him a while ago so he’s had to learn to shower by himself, and whenever he does, he needs to wash every part of himself. Even those disgusting, god awful glands that ache and swell and he can’t bear to stand them without nausea rolling in his guts. In an attempt to relieve the loathing, he sinks his nails into the glands and tries to scratch them out of his flesh. Just touching them makes slick drip between his thighs and he whines, tears in his eyes. It hurts but he just wants them gone because he can’t take any more of this.
And then, he spots it: a razor right next to the shampoo bottle. Katsuki typically uses it to shave but right now it could do the trick. He knows he’s probably not thinking straight but he’s coming apart and the disgust has finally reached its peak. Even if he dies he just wants these glands out of him, because he can’t take one more second of looking like this.
All he wants is peace and he’ll get it whether he’s alive or not.