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The Trouble On Your Lips

Chapter Text

Kellin's POV:

"Have you ever felt so emotionally empty, but at the same time you want to, like, just explode with all of these feelings? Like sometimes when you're in that careless mood you can feel all the emotions in you but you suppress them and act like you don't care? Or there are those times when you are feeling so emotional and you just want to push it away and you can't and you feel like they're going to take over you? Like you have no control over your emotions no matter what you do? It's like you're blindly forced to think and feel these things and you just can't stop it no matter how intense it is? Why do you think emotions work like that sometimes?" I asked dreamily as I gazed up at the bright blue sky.

"Come on, Kells, you get a little philosophical when you're high." My best friend, Tay, said as she pried the joint from my fingers. It wasn't very often that I did marijuana, but when I did it would hit me hard and fast with the affects.

"Answer me." I said and turned my head to look at her. She was laying there with her boyfriend, Alex, next to her who was reaching out at the sky and muttering something about the shape of the clouds.

"I don't know. I'm pretty good at controlling my emotions." She said. I frowned and looked back at the sky, quickly forgetting about the topic at hand because I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Where do angels sleep when there are no clouds in the sky?" Alex asked, making both Tay and I laugh. Both of them very rarely did this either, so it was always hilarious to hear the things they come up with.

I guess you could say there would be a better place to get high, and not during the first day back at school in the middle of the football field, but I didn't care if we got caught. In fact, even when I heard Coach McKinnon's familiar shout, I didn't panic.

"Hey! What are you doing out of class?!" He shouted. The three of us sat up, looking at the coach who had just walked out of the locker rooms and onto the field. A smile found its way onto my lips as I looked at the other two.

"Whoever gets caught first buys the others lunch tomorrow." I bet them. The other two looked just as amused as I did and nodded.

"You're on." The said in unison and then the three of us were up and running in the opposite direction of Coach McKinnon.

"Hey! Get back here this instant!" Coach yelled after us, but of course we didn't stop. Alex, the fastest of us all, was practically dragging Tay along with him, both of them were going a lot faster than I was. I slowed down a little and part of me actually wanted to be caught. I looked back behind me and saw Coach McKinnon gaining on us.

"Hurry up, Kellin." Tay called back to me urgently. I smiled at her.

"Nah, I'm good." I said and fell into a walk. She looked at me and rolled her eyes, but kept running with Alex. Only seconds later a hand latched around my arm, although not tightly at all.

"Now, now, no need to man-handle me." I said to the Coach and stopped walking. Once he was sure I wasn't going to run he let me go. I looked to see the other two were long gone by now and Mr Mckinnon wouldn't be able to catch up with them.

"Of course, Mr Quinn, I should have known it was you skipping class." He said. I pouted at him.

"Am I really that predictable? Man I've gotta step up my game." I said in mock disappointment. Coach McKinnon, in fact all teachers at this school, were used to my, what do they call it? Oh yes, my bad attitude. It's gotten to the point where it doesn't even faze them anymore.

"Come on, you know the drill." He said with a sigh and gestured back to the school building.

"Oh right, you have to escort me to my hot date with Principal Holland, of course." I joked. He just rolled his eyes and we began walking. It was quite often when I got caught skipping, but I didn't enjoy woodwork or gym, so those classes I would always skip.

The halls were empty and quiet as we walked down them. I took the moments of silence to mentally sober myself up because, as much as I loved the thrill of getting caught skipping class, I didn't want anyone to notice I'm high too. Coach McKinnon led me into the administration area and we took the familiar route to the Principal's office. When we got to the door I knocked on it repeatedly, and loudly.

"Stop that." Coach McKinnon growled at me and pushed my hands away. I just laughed it off.

"Come in." Principal Holland said and I opened the door, walking in like I owned the place.

"I know, I know, I'm a disgrace to mankind!" I said dramatically and held out both of my wrists, "Go ahead, handcuff me, only this time actually take me to the police instead of to your bedroom." I winked at him for good measure and glanced at Coach McKinnon, smirking at him. Neither of them were affected by my words. I was a naturally flirtatious person with anyone and everyone. Nobody took me seriously anymore.

"Mr Quinn, that will be enough. Take a seat. Jeremy, that will be all." Principal Holland said to the Coach.

"Later, Jeremy!" I called out after him, knowing full well he hated when students used his first name. He ignored me and left the room, shutting the door behind him. I looked back at Principal Holland. I guess in some ways he was cool as a principal. I actually think he might have been kind of a punk back in the day. Right now though you wouldn't be able to tell because he was giving me that stern "you're in trouble" look and leaning forward, his hands clamped together and resting on the desk. I knew he was about to tell me off.

"Firstly, the flirting you do with the staff has to stop. No one takes you seriously, but it's inappropriate and could get quite dangerous if taken too far." He said. I scoffed at the remark.

"Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. No teachers here are hot enough to get with this anyway. Although, Coach McKinnon does look awfully cute in those gym shorts. Do you think he's single?" I asked curiously, although a hundred per cent joking.

"Mr Quinn!" He shouted, his voice echoing around the large office.

"Okay, no need to get your panties in a twist. Moving along, I skipped class, like usual, what's my punishment? In school suspension? Detention?" I asked. He lean back in his chair and gave me a curious look.

"Hm, no, that would be too easy." He said.

"Too easy? What are you thinking of then? Expulsion?" I asked.

"No, Kellin, what you need is a little bit of guidance." He said and my eyes went wide when I realized what he was saying.

"Oh come on, no. I finished my last sessions with the guidance counselor before summer break. That was supposed to be it." I said. I couldn't begin to explain how much I loathed meeting with the guidance counselor. Mr Johnston was a total bore! I never wanted to see him and during the time I was forced to go to sessions, I very rarely talked to him. I had been seeing him for almost a year and when the school decided I wouldn't budge and talk, they decided that I was fine and didn't need to see him anymore, but apparently Principal Holland thought it might be a good idea to torture me again. He doesn't even know why I had to go in the first place! Most people were under the impression that I just went because I'm a trouble maker. The real reason had always been kept between me and the guidance counselor.

"Well clearly you aren't learning from your mistakes." He said.

"And sending me back there is really going to do the trick? Newsflash, it didn't work before, so it won't work now." I said angrily. A smile formed on his face.

"I think it's worth another shot." He said and picked up the phone. He pressed a couple of buttons and sat there for a few moments while I stewed in anger. Suddenly getting caught skipping class wasn't worth it at all. I guess I could settle for making Mr Johnston's life hell though.

"Mr Fuentes isn't answering." He said and hung up the phone.

"Fuentes?" I questioned.

"Yes, Fuentes. I'll have him explain the details. Make your way to the guidance counselor's office and wait in there for him to arrive." He told me. I stayed put and he gave me a look telling me I better do what he says, so I huffed and got up, trudging out of the room and down the hallway. The guidance counselor's office was straight across from administration. I didn't bother knocking, just walked straight in and like I expected, it was empty. I had been in this room way too many times so I knew it like the back of my hand. There was a desk, obviously. It was a lot more organized than usual. Against the wall to the left of the desk were the filing cabinets that held the records of all students who visited the guidance counselor, and to the right there was a large bookshelf with an assortment of psychology and self-help books on it. One thing that was missing in the room was Mr Johnston's college diploma that was always on the wall behind the desk, which begged the question, where did he go? Did he quit and get replaced by this Mr Fuentes guy? Oh God, what if he's as bad as old Johnston? Or worse?

I sighed and went over to the couch, flopped down on it, sprawling myself across it as I waited. I didn't want a new counselor. I didn't want someone new knowing all these things about me which I keep quiet from even my closest friends. I'd have to figure out a way for him to not find out. If he doesn't find out then I won't have to talk about and if I don't have to talk about it then that'll make a very happy Kellin.

It was a few minutes later when the door to the room finally opened and in walked a man, or student? No, definitely an adult. Students wouldn't be caught dead wearing a tie. He looked young though, very young. He didn't even look older than me, but if he's a teacher then he must be. He had brown hair, brown eyes and looked Hispanic. He was, well, he was really cute.

"Well you're a hell of a lot more attractive than Mr Johnston. Huh, maybe these sessions will be interesting after all." I said with a shrug as I sat up.

"Ah, right. You must be Kellin. Principal Holland warned me that you make a lot of sexual comments to teachers." He said and walked across the room to his desk. I managed to check him out, which was easy to do considering he was wearing black skinny jeans.

"Oh, that wasn't sexual. If I was being sexual I'd tell you how great your ass looks in those jeans." I said with a smirk. He looked a little uncomfortable with the comment, so I knew I probably already had the upper hand with him.

"Enough. Take a seat." He said firmly and pointed to the chair across from him. His voice was stern and demanding. Maybe I was wrong about having the upper hand. I got up, went over to the chair and sat down on it.

"Okay let's get this show on the road." I said.

"Alright. Well I'm Vic Fuentes, your new guidance counselor. I regret to inform you that over the summer holidays, Mr Johnston passed away after a heart attack." He explained. I was a little shocked to hear that. Only moments before I had been thinking about how much I didn't like him. I pushed the remorse from my head though.

"Well that's a shame." I said bluntly.

"It is. Moving on. Why don't you tell me why you're here?" He asked, getting straight into it.

"'Cause I've been a bad, bad boy." I teased and bit my bottom lip. My flirting didn't seem to have any effect on him though.

"Kellin, I am an authoritative figure to you and I would appreciate it if you grew up and took both me and yourself seriously, otherwise I'll have to start giving out detentions." He said. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Hm, no, that's where you're wrong. You see, you're a guidance counselor, so you can't give out detentions for me being the way I am because you're supposed to understand that I'm messed up and giving detentions for stupid things I say isn't being very understanding of my differences now, is it?" I questioned. This was more or less the same thing Mr Johnston told me about why he never gave out detentions.

"Hm, yes, maybe so. However, I'm also taking over senior biology, so I can give out plenty of detentions whenever I want during that class, and trust me, I'll have my eye on you." He shot back. Oh, he knows how to banter. How cute. At least with Mr Johnstone for most of the time he just gave up and let me play games on my iPod for most of our sessions.

"Aren't you supposed to be, like, nice and encouraging?" I asked.

"Only to students who are cooperative, now let's start over. Why are you in this office?" He asked.

"Why are you?" I asked.

"I moved from California to Michigan with my brother to take this job. Your turn." He said quickly. He was just staring at me, waiting for an answer. I didn't say anything though. I was a stubborn person when I wanted to be. His chair screeched across the tiled floor as he stood up and went to the filing cabinets and he produced my file.

"Kellin Quinn, right?" He asked as he came back over to the desk with the file.

"Actually, there are a lot of Kellin Quinn's in this school. Let me check to see if that's the right one." It was a lie, a total lie, but I didn't want him to see my file, so I thought quickly and grabbed the file off of him before he could protest, then I got the lighter out of my pocket and set it alight.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" He asked and walked around the desk towards me.

"I like to set things on fire." I said and moved away from him, keeping the file out of reach so it could continue burning. I ran around the side of the desk and dropped it in the wastebasket. It was completely ruined, turned into ash.

"Aw man, would you look at that." I said in fake disappointment and then shrugged.

"Sit down." He ordered me. He picked up a bottle of water from his desk and poured it over the remnants of the fire, making it go out. I went and sat down, with my arms crossed and a triumphant smile on my face. I was proud of myself for having such an effective first impression. Maybe this will be enough for him to tell the Principal that I didn't need a guidance counselor and to just suspend me instead. He sat down across from me and he looked oddly calm considering what I just did.

"Okay, I get it. You're not the type of person to talk about your feelings so you cover it up by acting out, and also in your case, flirting and banter. I've come across many kids like you and I'd rather skip past the bullsh-...nonsense, and get to the part where I help you because I'm not putting up with three sessions per week with you not being cooperative. So how 'bout it?" He asked. He seemed like he was having none of my shit today, and I was having none of his either. I didn't like being told what to do, especially by someone I met five minutes ago.

"Look, I don't need counseling, okay? Especially by someone who looks as young as I do. I will come to these sessions because I'm being forced to, but I will not be talking to you about my bullshit feelings." I said and with that I got up and stormed right out of the room.

Chapter Text

I sat at breakfast the next morning, silently chomping on my cereal as I tried to block out my mom and step dad fussing over my older sister, Kailey. She had a pretty important gymnastics meet at college today and my step dad, Rob, was giving her a pep talk about remaining focused, and my mom was making sure she knew her routines. Honestly I get really sick and tired of all the sport talk around here. Every breakfast and dinner all I hear is talk about Kailey and her precious gymnastics. Sometimes it was like I didn't exist.

The phone ringing didn't even deter them from the little world they were in, so I was left to get up and answer it. I picked it up on the third ring, pressing the answer button.

"Talk to me," I said casually.

"Hello, is this the Quinn residence?" A voice said on the other end. The person, who I could tell was a man, sounded vaguely familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Bostwick, but close enough," I said. I was the only one in my family who went by the last name Quinn because I hated Bostwick. If this person was asking for a Quinn then they must be looking for me.

"Uh, oh, so a Kellin Quinn doesn't live there?" The person asked.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Kellin. Who's this?" I asked as I lean against the counter-top in the kitchen.

"This is Mr. Fuentes," he said, and it clicked in my mind that this was my guidance counselor.

"What do you want?" I asked rudely.

"To speak to your parents. Can you put them on?" he asked. Fuck. Damn it. There was no doubt in my mind that he was calling to ask about my history and why I needed counselling, but I didn't want him to know. I had a thing about not wanting complete strangers to know about my life, even if they are qualified to help me. I don't need help.

"Oh, you know what, they're actually not here," I lied.

"Kellin," he sighed, "I can hear the talking in the background. Just put them on so I can get this over with, otherwise I'll just keep calling until I eventually reach one of them,"

He had a point there. I could hang up and delay this a little longer, but he would get a hold of my parents eventually and they would tell him everything. I sighed and looked back to my parents.

"Mom, phone," I said, but she completely ignored me as she talked to Kailey. Seriously, I might as well be invisible.

"Let me put you on hold for moment," I said to Mr. Fuentes and didn't wait for a reply before I pressed the hold button.

"Mom, the school is on the phone for you," I said. Kailey was the only one to acknowledge me and was about to say something when my mom cut her off.

"Mom," I said louder and more firmly. She turned around quickly, looking annoyed.

"Not now, Kellin," she snapped before turning back to Kailey.

"And remember, when you're on that beam, just shut out everyone else and focus on your balance, okay honey?" she said to Kailey.

"Yes, mom. Trust me, I've got this," she said.

"Of course you do," Rob said proudly and patted her shoulder. Kailey smiled brightly at the both of them. She was always the golden child who got all the attention.

"Alright, good luck, we've got to get to work," my mom said. Her and Rob owned a small diner in town and worked together down there. They were really nice people and respected in the community. Mom turned to me and quickly kissed my cheek.

"Have a god day at school, sweetie," she said with a smile. 7

"I will," I said, not bothering to get her to answer the phone.

"See you this afternoon, kids. Kill 'em out there, Kailey," Rob said just before he followed my mom out into the hall and through the front door. Once they were gone I looked at Kailey and got an idea.

"Hey Kailey..." I started, firing up my skills of persuasion.

"Oh, no. I know that look! Whatever it is, no," she said defiantly. I guess she had the right to be worried about what I was going to ask her to do. I've gotten her into trouble so many times before by persuading her to make trouble with me, so of course she was cautious. This wouldn't be such a big deal though.

"Remember last Tuesday night when you snuck out to go and meet your boyfriend and I covered for you with mom and Rob?" I asked. Her face fell and she sighed, obviously giving in.

"Okay, what do you want?" she asked. "I have a new guidance counselor and he wants to know why I need counseling," I said.

"So? Can't he look at your records?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Nope, I set them on fire," I said casually. She rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, what is it with you and setting things on fire? First, the neighbors mail box, then Coach Ferguson's locker, and now this?" she asked, sounding exasperated.

"Hey, that's what the neighbors get for having loud as fuck parties that last until 3am on a school night. And Coach Ferguson deserved that," I countered.

"Whatever, Kellin. So what do you want me to do?" she asked.

"I want you to pretend to be mom and tell my counselor that you don't know anything. Make something up like I'm just a troublemaker who needs guidance, whatever. Just not the truth. Please, Kailey," I pleaded. She was giving in now that I gave her the puppy dog look.

"Alright, fine, give me the phone," she said. I smiled and handed it to her. She gave me a disapproving look before putting on her best 'mom' voice.

"Hello?" she asked into the phone, "Yes, this is her," she paused and I wondered what he was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Well, that's a mystery to all of us," she chuckled nervously, "Kellin's always been one to make trouble. He just needs a little guidance,"

Another pause.

"Yes, I'm sure. There's nothing wrong with him," she said, looking directly at me. I knew she hated lying. After another paused, she spoke again.

"Yes, that's it. That's all I can tell you. He can be a handful sometimes," she said, earning a glare from me. "Alright, it was nice talking to you too, Mr. Fuentes...okay...bye,"

She hung up the phone and tossed it back to me, giving a glare.

"Why did you make me do that?" she snapped.

"Because, I don't want some stranger knowing anything about me," I said.

"You need to tell him what happened. He can't help you if you don't," she said. I rolled my eyes and walked away from her.

"I don't need help," I said stubbornly.

"Uhhh, last year you tried to kill yourself twice in a span of a week," she pointed out.

"So what?" I asked as I swooped my messenger back up off the floor and kept walking, "That was forever ago and I'm over it," I said honestly.

I didn't know what exactly came over me during that week, but it was like I snapped. I had gotten over it long ago. I didn't care about anything, so why would I care about that?

"The more you push it away, the more the pressure will build up," she called after me as I left the house. I didn't say anything back. She doesn't know what she's talking about, no one does. No one understands that I'm completely over what happened. They say I can't have a mental breakdown and get over it just like that, well I have news for them, I can. All I have to do is let it leave my mind, which it exactly what I did as I walked to school.

—-

First class, geography, a total bore if you ask me. Mr. Williams had the type of voice you could fall asleep to, it was that uninteresting. Not to mention the topic at hand was something that I didn't give a fuck about, and judging by how the majority of people in class were on their phones or talking to friends, they didn't care either.

"Do you think his voice could get any more dull?" a voice came from beside me.

I looked to the desk next to mine, wondering why someone would talk to me. I didn't have any of my usual friends in this class. I barely knew anyone in this class actually. There was a guy sitting there that I didn't recognize. He looked tall if he would stand up, was wearing a snapback and all black. I couldn't tell if he would fit in with the nerds or the "bad asses."

"Do I know you?" I asked. The boy shook his head.

"I'm new, Mike Fuentes," he said and held out his hand for me to shake. I didn't take it, I don't do hand shaking.

"Oh right, your brother is the guidance counselor. Tell me, is he always such an ass?" I whispered. He frowned, looking confused.

"What? No, Vic is cool. He's always been nice," he said.

"Hm, sure," I muttered and dropped the subject. I guess he hasn't seen the teacher side of his brother then. Or maybe I just see all teachers as horrible people. I got the feeling I might have hurt Mike's feelings though by saying that about his brother.

"Whatever, I hate all authority, nothing personal," I added, "So, made any friends yet?"

"Uh, kind of. I sat with these guys yesterday, um, Oli, Matt, and Jordan," he said. I smirked at the names. I hung out with them sometimes. Oli and I sort of had a thing, but not really. That's another story for a different time.

"Oh, watch out when you're around them. They're into some, well, questionable activities," I said as memories of breaking into places and running away from cops filled my mind. They were also into drugs. Not just weed, but the heavy stuff. That was when I always left. I at least had a little common sense. I preferred to hang out with my friends Alex and Taylor anyway.

"I can take care of myself," he said with a smirk.

"Kellin Quinn!" Mr. William's voice came from the front of the room. Oh come on, why is he picking on me for talking? Pretty much everyone else is!

"Come here, bring your things," he said. I gathered my notebook and pen, shoved them into my messenger bag and went up to the front of the room.

"What could I have possibly done now?" I asked the old man. He looked down at me through his ancient glasses.

"The guidance counselor wants to see you," he said quietly so the class wouldn't hear, not that they would be paying attention anyway.

I rolled my eyes. Why would he want to see me? Didn't he get the hint yesterday that I didn't want to talk? I sighed and left the classroom, taking the much too familiar route to the guidance counselor's office and opened the door without knocking. Mr. Fuentes looked up from his desk as I walked through and swung the door closed behind me.

"Two days in a row, huh? Tell me, Mr. Fuentes, why are you so obsessed with me?" I asked as I sat down in the chair across from him.

"I'm not obsessed. This isn't an actual session, it's just a quick check in," he said before adding, "Oh, and you can call me Vic."

"Oh, you're going with the acting like a friend approach, hm? Well then, Vic, buddy ol' pal, what do you want?" I asked, not sounding impressed at all.

"First of all, I'm not acting. I'm actually a pretty friendly guy. I guess we got off on the wrong foot yesterday, but I'd like to start over. So, tell me how you're doing today," he said. I sighed and thought of a smart-ass response.

"Kind of horny actually. Is that something you can help with?" I asked. He didn't seem fazed at all by my vulgar comments.

"Saying these things is really inappropriate and it's a behavior you need to stop," he said. I just smiled sweetly.

"Can I go now? I'm missing out on some riveting geographical studies," I asked. He shook his head.

"Not yet. So I talked to your mom today which you know, and she told me you were just here because you're a trouble maker and she didn't know anything else," he said. I shrugged.

"So? That's normal for my parents not to know anything," I said.

Even though it was Kailey that he had spoken to, this wasn't all too far from the truth. My mom really has no clue what happened that week. She knows what I did to myself but she has no idea why. She knows nothing other than that she had to come and get me from the hospital, that's all. I never spoke about why I did it. She only asked once and then dropped the subject when I didn't answer her. She wasn't the type of person to get really emotional and caring, but I knew she did care, she just didn't talk about it.

"What do you mean they don't know anything?" he asked.

"They don't really pay attention to me," I said.

"What makes you think that?" he asked. I shrugged and looked down at my lap as I played with the material of my jeans.

"I don't know. They're always too interested in my sister and her sport, not me," I said truthfully, the words just spilling from my mouth.

"Oh, I guess that can get kind of tough, huh?" he asked. The question made me ponder my own feelings and that's when I realized exactly what was going on here. My eyes shot up to him. I didn't even notice I had been talking about my life. I didn't want to talk about this at all.

"Oh, no, no, no, don't try and trick me into talking about my feelings," I said. He had an innocent look on his face.

"Trick you? No. We were just talking. There were no tricks. You wanted to open up, so you did," he said. I was angry. This was bullshit. I didn't want to talk to him at all.

"Bullshit," I muttered.

"I'm only here to help, Kellin. There's no need to be so full of angst when you're in this room," he said.

"I've helped myself for long enough, okay? I don't need this," I said and stood up, headed towards the door. Why doesn't anyone believe me when I say I'm fine? I'm not some fucking tortured soul who needs some guy to save him. I will never be that person.

"I'll see you tomorrow for biology," he called out after me right before I slammed the door closed.

Chapter Text

Biology. I couldn't tell if I was looking forward to the class or not. Mr. Fuentes, or Vic as he told me to call him, is the teacher. On the one hand, something about Vic really bothered me. He was always snooping around in my life and I've only known him for a couple of days. Sure, it was his job, but it was still annoying, so the prospect of having to endure 45 minutes with him didn't sit well with me at all. On the other hand though I had this class with Alex and Tay, and classes with them are usually fun, and I didn't particularly mind biology.

"You didn't tell me how cute he was," Tay whispered next to me after Vic walked into the classroom. He didn't glance at any of the students, just strolled in confidently and went over to his desk to prepare himself for the lesson.

"Hey, hey, hey, no calling other dudes cute," Alex butted in. I looked at the two of them.

"And Vic is not cute anyway," I lied. I guess he was kind of cute.

"You're calling Mr. Fuentes, Vic? Wow, you'll have him in bed with you within a week," Tay teased with a wink. She was always like this, trying to push me together with another guy. I ignored her for the most part though.

"Yeah, sure, a 17 year old with a teacher. That could only end well," I said sarcastically. Tay went quiet for a moment as a thoughtful look crossed over her delicate features before she spoke once more.

"Is it true that you hooked up with McKinnon?" she asked. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Where do you even hear these rumors?" I asked. She shrugged and smiled innocently.

"You're always flirting with him," she pointed out.

"I flirt with everyone," I said.

"Just teachers. I think you have a kink," she said with a giggle. I rolled my eyes and, wanting to prove her wrong, looked to the row of desks in front of me and spotted Jaime Hernandez. Jaime is the star quarterback and more or less the most popular guy in school. Sure, he was a jock and was currently sitting with his jock friends, but did that stop me from what I was going to say next? No.

"Hey Jaime," I got his attention. He turned to face me and so did some of his friends.

"Yeah, Quinn?" he asked.

"You're looking hot today. Have you been working out?" I asked. The line was really cheesy, but it got a smile out of him.

"Flattering as always, Kellin," he said as though he heard these types of things from me often, which he did. His friend sitting next to him, Tony, spoke up next.

"Aw man, why do you get all the attention from girls and gay guys?" he pouted.

"Aw Tony, don't be like that. You know where I'd like those pretty little lips," I flirted, causing him to smile and laugh. He turned to Jaime and smirked at him.

"Yeah, that's right, I can get both genders if I want as well," he said and Jaime just rolled his eyes.

Although both boys were completely straight, they weren't bothered by my comments. This is what I like about this school. I'm gay and everyone knows it, but they're also cool about it. I've never once gotten any snide comments around here and I'm not entirely sure why that was. Maybe it was because I was friends with everyone, including the football team who seemed to hold most power with the student body around here. Jaime and I knew each other all throughout school, although we were never really friends, just acquaintances, and I flirt with him and all the other guys constantly. I think everyone is so used to it now that they never think twice about it. Or maybe I'm just a lovable guy, not to sound too conceited.

The boys turned back around as the class started going quiet as it approached the time to start the lesson. I gave an "I told you so" look to Tay after proving my point. She just smiled and rolled her eyes. I looked back to the front of the classroom as someone walked through the door, just a little late. It was that new kid, Mike. He looked around, looking a bit nervous. I guess I took pity on him. He was new and hadn't made friends other than Oli, Matt and Jordan, but they weren't in this class. I motioned for him to come over to me. He smiled lightly when he saw me and came on over and sat at the empty desk.

"Hey," he said.

"'Sup?" I said casually, then a thought crossed my mind, "Wait, are you even allowed in this class if your brother is the teacher?"

"I couldn't fit in anywhere else because my enrollment was last minute. He's not allowed to grade me though," he said.

My lips formed an "oh" as I just nodded and faced forward as Vic told the class to quiet down. He stood at the front of the classroom. If I didn't know any better then I'd think he was just a student because he looks so young. It was just the fact that he was wearing a tie that gave him away. Once again he was in his skinny jeans, dark blue this time though, and was wearing a brown, long sleeved button-up shirt but didn't have it tucked in. He seemed awfully casual for a teacher.

"Welcome to your first senior biology class. I am Mr. Fuentes, but I'm not opposed to you calling me Vic, just not in front of other teachers because I might get into a little trouble," he chuckled after he introduced himself to the class.

Oh, look at him trying to take the "cool teacher" approach. I rolled my eyes and took my phone out of my pocket and looked down at the screen. I don't know why I did some of the things I do, but I decided to start playing a game instead of paying attention even though I knew full well I'd probably get into trouble. It's not like my parents would even care if I got into trouble anyway, so I played the game, half listening to whatever Vic was saying, but also zoning out.

"I trust you'll find this class enjoyable, but I also expect you all to gain a vast knowledge of the world around you. Biology is important because it'll let you understand how life works; how the world operates, and how fauna and flora co-exist and are able to be sustained on Earth, amongst other things. All of which you cannot learn while your face is buried in your phone. Isn't that right Mr. Quinn?" he said and I came back to full alertness when I heard my name. I glanced up, seeing Vic standing there at my desk. I looked back down at the phone and continued playing my game.

"I don't care," I muttered. The class wasn't very fazed by my actions, but a few people still "ooh'd" at what I said.

"Do you want to share what's so important on your phone that's keeping you so distracted from my class?" he asked.

"Gay porn," I said the first thing to come to mind. "Wanna see?" I asked as I looked up at him and gave a flirtatious smile. He put his hands on my desk, leaning over it a little, obviously trying to look intimidating.

"Put your phone away, now," he ordered. I looked back down and continued playing the game.

"Give me a minute," I said casually so I could finish the level I was on. Suddenly my phone was taken out of my hands.

"Hey, give it back," I demanded. Vic just smiled as he walked backwards through the rows of desks.

"You can get it back this afternoon after detention," he said. His smile was cocky and I had a feeling he had been waiting to give me a detention since I first met him and told him he couldn't. He was loving this, I knew he was. I didn't want to give him the last word though.

"You know, Mr. Fuentes, if you wanted to spend time with me then all you had to do was ask," I said.

"I don't need to ask. I tell, you do. That's how authority works. Now can I get back to teaching my class?" he shot back and without giving me a chance to reply he continued on talking. I grumbled and slouched in my chair before opening my notebook and drawing on it for the rest of the lesson. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of paying attention in class. I guess in a way I didn't do well with authority. I didn't like being told what to do by teachers and now here's this new one challenging me and it pisses me off.

It was nearing the end of class when Tay nudged the side of my stomach and told me to pay attention, meaning that something important was going on because if it wasn't important then she'd usually just leave me be in my own little world. I looked up at Vic who was holding a pile of sheets.

"Everything you need to know about the field trip will be on these permission slips," he said as he began walking around the class and handing them out to each student, "The basics is that it will be one day and night out in the wilderness. The purpose is for all of you to examine plants and wildlife both during the day and night and write down your findings. Miss McDougall and I will be supervising the two senior classes going. You must get permission from your parents and I highly recommend you go on this excursion because if you don't then the alternative is a 3000 word essay."

—-

Trust me to get a detention on the first week of senior year, but it's not like I really tried to avoid it. I sighed and pushed the classroom door open and saw Vic sitting at his desk. I just gave him an unimpressed look.

"Nice of you to finally show up. You're here for the next hour so make yourself comfortable. He said and gestured for me to take a seat. I guess he was the type of teacher that wasn't going to force us to write an essay or some bullshit while in detention. He was just going to detain us.

I looked around the room and the first person my eyes landed on was Oli. Here's the thing with Oli and I; Last year we kind of hooked up a few times at parties or just after school. It was nothing serious, definitely not. I wasn't a huge fan of his personality, but the thing was that he could be really charming and persuasive, so even if I didn't want to I'd still end up in his bed- most of the time under the influence of alcohol. It was a lot of fun though so I didn't mind. I hadn't seen him since before the summer break though.

"Kellin, love. Long-time no see," he said.

I smiled and went over to him. There were a few other people in the class; Jordan, Matt, Gabe and Shawn. They were the usual trouble makers. I ignored them all though and sat in the seat next to Oli.

"You never called me back after junior prom," I pointed out and gave a mock look of being hurt.

"Oh darling, don't get all girly on me now," he teased and turned to face me. He grabbed hold of the edges of the chair and pulled me into him before forcefully planting his lips on mine. Making out during detention is surely breaking the rules, and that's the main reason why I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back; not to mention teenage hormones.

"Okay, come on. Enough of that," Vic interrupted us. We pulled away and looked at him.

"Why? Got something against gays?" Oli asked. Vic shook his head and then said something that I didn't expect.

"No, because that would mean self-hating," he said. I raised my eyebrows out of curiosity. 5

"You're gay?" I asked. He looked a little caught off guard to be honest. I don't think he meant to admit that in front of the small group of us in here, but now that he has it'll be all over school by tomorrow. I knew Shawn was a gossip so he'd tell everyone. Luckily for Vic though this school is pretty good when it comes to not discriminating against gay people.

"This is detention, not a place to gossip. Get back to...being detained," he said kind of awkwardly. Just knowing now that he's gay suddenly made him so much more interesting to me. Maybe it was because I've never had a gay teacher before, I don't know.

"Hey," Oli caught my attention and I turned back to him.

"Yeah?" I asked. He placed his hands on my knees and rubbed them lightly while flashing me his charming grin.

"How about we go back to my place when we get out of here?" he suggested. I knew what he meant by that. He wanted sex. I however wasn't in the mood today. Plus, I actually kind of wanted to stop this little thing we had going on because I wasn't that interested anymore, but then again I didn't because it was fun. I knew I should though.

"Umm, nah, I don't think so. I'm not really feeling it today," I said as nicely as I could. Oli could have a temper on him and so was best to be nice.

"It'll be fun, I promise," he said and lightly bit his lip in a way that he knew usually turned me on, but once again. I didn't feel like it. It had been kind of a long day.

"Maybe some other time," I said.

"Or this afternoon because I'm really in the mood," he said, sounding a little annoyed now. I sighed, still not wanting to say yes and I gave him a look which told him that I wanted him to stop, but in true Oli nature, he didn't.

"Please?" he asked sweetly as he slipped his hand up my thigh. He lean in and kissed my neck lightly before whispering "please" into my ear. He pulled back, smirking cockily at me because that usually worked. I guess it kind of did, but I was still reluctant.

"I don't know..."

"Oh come on, Kellin. Stop being such a fucking prude," he snapped angrily. As confident as I was as person sometimes and as much as I don't like people telling me what to do; I didn't like people getting angry at me. I was fine with teachers getting angry at me because that's what they're there for half of the time, but when it's a peer I kind of coward away.

"Alright, fine. Maybe for a little while," I gave in. Instantaneously he went from angry to happy as he smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Good choice," he said before turning back to Jordan and Matt and entering himself in their conversation. I sighed and scooted back over to my desk. I took a notebook and pencil out of my bag and began drawing something to pass the time. I felt someone watching me though so I looked up and saw Vic just looking at me with a concerned look on his face. He may be a teacher today but I guess it's difficult for him to stop being the guidance counsellor type. I rolled my eyes and looked back down at my book, drawing for the remainder of the hour that I was stuck in here. Finally, after what seemed like forever, it was time to leave.

"Okay, you're all free to go," Vic said as most of the people shot up from their seats and bolted out the door. I gathered my things, putting them back in my bag and followed Oli to the door.

"Uh, Kellin," Vic got my attention and I looked back while the others walked out the door, "You forgot your phone," he had my phone in the palm of his hand. I walked back over to him and when I went to take it he pulled back a little.

"Detention is over. You said you'd give it back," I said.

"I know, I just want to talk for a second," he said. I huffed in annoyance. I didn't have time for this.

"Make it quick," I said and waited for whatever lecture about disobeying teachers or whatever that he had for me. Honestly, I was in here for an hour and he picks now to talk?

"I just want to make sure you know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he said and glanced behind me. I turned around to see Oli in the hall, talking to his friends.

"I know," I said as I turned back.

"Are you sure? Because I don't want you to feel pressured into going with him," he said. I rolled my eyes. There he goes again, shoving his nose into other people's business.

"I'm not pressured," I said, although I knew it was lie.

"Okay, I just don't think you should go with him," he said. Seriously? Now he's basically telling me what to do. I do whatever the hell I want to do, not what he thinks I should do.

"Thanks for the concern," I said sarcastically and took the phone out of his hand, "But the whole 'I tell, you do' thing doesn't work once school is over. So I'll be doing what I want now,"

And with that I turned around and left the classroom, going with Oli without any reluctance because my defiance towards Vic made me so sure that I wanted to do this. Ah rebellion, is there anything more satisfying?

Chapter Text

I guess you could say that sometimes I don't exactly fit into the right crowd. Sure, there are days where I'll be somewhat good and stay out of any serious trouble, but then there are days like today where I feel like being self-destructive and doing something that could not only get me into trouble with the school, but could also get me arrested. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I knew it was a bad idea but I suppose I simply didn't care.

So, instead of being a good student and going to my morning guidance counseling session with Vic, I found myself under the bleachers in the football field doing a little favor for Oli. After our afternoon activities yesterday he said that he was busy this morning but had to get some business done, and he's always been extremely persuasive, so that's why I'm here, meeting with the stoner kids, and dealing pot to them.

The transaction was almost made. They only wanted a little bit to last them through the weekend and I was about to hand it over when their eyes went wide as they looked behind me. I glanced back quickly and saw none other than Vic walking towards us.

"Shit," I muttered and turned back around. They had already scurried away, leaving me there holding the little plastic zip-lock bag full of weed. I sighed and turned around to face Vic. I lean against a pole and crossed my arms over my chest.

"You know, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were stalking me," I said. He scoffed as he marched over.

"Don't flatter yourself. You didn't show up to your session so I figured you were somewhere getting up to no good, and it looks like I was right," he said, and when he approached me he snatched the bag of weed out of my hand.

"That's not what it looks like," I said.

"Oh really?" he questioned.

"Yes really. That is oregano for cooking class," I lied, even though I knew he wouldn't believe me.

"You don't do cooking class," he said. I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh, has someone been checking up on my schedule? What was that I was just saying about you being a stalker?" I asked and looked off into the distance thoughtfully.

"What are you doing with drugs?" he asked, ignoring my previous comment.

"Well I was about to earn a little bit of money, but then you just had to show up and ruin business," I said in an annoyed tone. I didn't just do this because Oli asked me too. I would have never agreed just because he asked me to do it, the persuasion he gave me however was a 40% cut of the profits so of course I said yes.

"Do you really think doing drugs, especially at school, is such a good idea?" he asked. Oh fantastic, here comes the lectures.

"I wasn't doing drugs, I was selling. And anyway, I really don't give a fuck if it's a good idea or not," I said and shrugged. This conversation was weird. The usual protocol would be that I got sent straight to the principal's office, but he hadn't done that yet.

"Listen, Kellin. Stop acting out because you want attention," he said.

"What?" I asked, practically laughing at the notion.

"You do stupid things that could get you into trouble. You try too hard to be a bad kid. It's because you crave attention although I haven't figured out why you do it in such an over-dramatic manner," he said. I hated when people do that; when they get all psychological on you. He doesn't know me so he has no right to make these assumptions.

"Whatever. You don't know anything about me," I muttered.

"Maybe not, but I know your type. Now come with me back to my office," he said.

"Shouldn't you be taking me to the principal?" I asked and followed him when he started walking.

"No, because that's what you want. You want to get into trouble, but I don't think you realize the magnitude of your current predicament," he said.

"Would you stop using such big words and talk like a normal human?" I asked. I wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. He turned his head to look at me.

"I mean, you don't see how serious this is. You may think it's funny to get into trouble, but if you get caught with drugs then it'll be straight to juvie for you," he said. I guess he had a point there. I didn't exactly want it to go that far.

"So what, you aren't going to turn me in to Principal Holland?" I asked as I followed him back into the halls of the school.

"Nope. Instead I'm going to make you a deal," he said.

"What kind of deal?" I asked curiously. This was definitely against regulation. He can't just find out that I had drugs on school property and then not tell the principal. That's breaking so many rules. He didn't answer my question, he just led me down the hall until we got to his office. He opened the door and gestured for me to walk in, so I did, taking the usual seat. He shut the door behind him before sitting in his chair across from me.

"Here's the deal. I won't go to the police, your parents or Principal Holland about this," he said, tossing the marijuana on the desk, "But you have to answer all of my questions for the remainder of our session."

"You're not allowed to do this. This is like...withholding information. Isn't that against the code of, like...guidance counselors or whatever?" I asked.

"Like you care about rules. So, what will it be?" he asked. This didn't make any sense to me. He was the teacher, he was supposed to follow rules, yet here he was breaking them for me.

"Why are you breaking the rules for me? Why not do what you're supposed to and rat me out?" I asked. He sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"Because I got into this profession to help people with their problems, not just go to the Principal every time something happens. So, before I lose my patience, do we have a deal? My silence in exchange for you answering whatever questions I have," he asked. I glanced at the clock on the wall. There wasn't very long left until the bell would ring, so I'm sure we couldn't get too much in depth. I guess talking was better than juvie, so I sighed and nodded.

"Whatever, what do you want to know?" I asked.

"Who did you get the drugs from?" he asked quickly.

"I'm not telling you that," I said. I'm definitely not a snitch.

"Kellin, I'm not going to report them," he assured me as though he was reading my mind.

"How do I know you aren't lying?" I asked.

"You don't. Now answer the question before I get the police involved in this matter," he said. Again with the threats of juvie looming over me! I rolled my eyes, giving in.

"Oli Peters," I muttered.

"That was the boy you were with in detention, right?" he asked. I nodded and he continued speaking.

"What's your relationship with him? Is he your boyfriend?" he asked. I smirked.

"Why? Trying to figure out if I'm single?" I asked and winked at him. He rolled his eyes and lean forward on his chair.

"No, just concerned about the type of people you're surrounding yourself with. Now, describe your relationship with him," he said. I sighed, really not wanting to talk about this any further but I knew he wasn't going to drop the subject and we did have a deal, so I talked.

Chapter Text

"This way," Oli whispered to Mike, Matt, Jordan and myself. We made our way around the school building until we found the window that Oli had managed to unlock earlier today in the school locker room. The locker room was underground, kind of like a basement, so the small window was near the roof of the locker rooms, but since we were outside in was near our feet.

"Here is it," Oli said and bent down to it. He slid it open, "Perfect."

I watched as he climbed through and heard him land on the ground. Matt and Jordan went through next, and then it was my turn, but Mike grabbed my arm.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked. I rolled my eyes. He had been worrying about this the whole way here and it was beginning to get annoying.

"It'll be fine. We've done this a few times before and never got caught," I told him.

"Are you two coming or what?" Oli called up.

"Yeah, we are," I said and knelt on the ground. I turned around, put my legs in first and dropped to the floor, I lost my balance for a moment until I felt two arms steady me. I turned to see Oli.

"Careful, love," he said and kissed my cheek. Those were the sweet little things that he would do sometimes that made me want to continue whatever it was between us, but then of course I would remind myself that he's actually a massive jerk and I don't actually like much about him.

I turned to look back at the window just as Mike dropped to the ground. I flashed him a smile to reassure him that things would be fine. I may have been lying before when I said we did this often. We had only done it once about a year ago, so we weren't exactly professionals.

"Alright, let's trash this place," Matt said. He opened his backpack to reveal cans of spray paint. We all took a couple and got to work vandalizing the lockers.

Me, the only one in the group that actually had an artistic bone in their body, was actually spray painting pictures. I made a very amusing one of Coach McKinnon's angered face which is what I believed he would look like when he saw this mess. The others were more or less just writing curse words and various gang symbols everywhere even though none of us were in gangs. It was actually a fun night and Mike even loosened up a little; just a little though. I could tell he was still paranoid the way he was jumping at every sound.

"What if the police show up?" Mike asked from next to me, quiet enough so the others couldn't hear.

"Then we run," I said simply. He didn't ask again after that.

"Hey, I picked the lock to McKinnon's office," Jordan said from the exit of the locker rooms with a smile on his face.

"Brilliant," Oli said with a chuckle. These boys really took their revenge seriously, so that's why when we crossed the hall and went into McKinnon's office, we went about decorating his walls with graffiti and tearing up all of his papers, while stealing a few future exams. Part of me felt bad. I actually kind of like Coach McKinnon when he's not being a cranky asshole in gym class, but then again I liked being destructive more.

"Do you guys hear that?" Mike asked. A collective sigh was heard from the four of us.

"Stop being so paranoid," I told him.

"No I'm serious, listen," Mike said. I rolled my eyes but we all stopped what we were doing anyway, and that's when we heard the sound of shoes hitting the hallway floors. There was more than one person too. I quickly went to the door, opened it and looked out into the hallway. I couldn't see anyone, but what I could see was flashing red and blue lights coming from outside. The walking was getting closer to us too. I turned back to the others.

"Cops. We must have tripped a silent alarm," I said with a sense of urgency.

"Oh fuck, I can't go to jail," Matt, the juvie regular, said quickly and flung his bag onto his back quickly and pushed past us.

"You're not the only one," Jordan added and ran past. Now we all ran back into the locker rooms, and that was our first mistake. We made too much noise and seconds later we heard running from down the hall, followed by a deep voice shouting at us to stop.

"Shit, go, go," Oli said and we ran over to the window. We boosted Matt and Jordan up first because they were 18 and would get into the most trouble for being caught.

"Mike next," I said once they were through. Mike was silent but I could tell that on the inside he was freaking out.

"No, me, my parents would literally kill me if I get arrested," Oli said. There was no time for arguments because once Oli had made up his mind, there was no changing it, so Mike and I boosted him up and he climbed through the window with the help of Matt or Jordan pulling him up.

"Okay, Mike, you next. Oli you gotta help pull him through because I'm not strong enough," I said, but I didn't get a reply.

"Oli!" I called out. The police were getting closer to us now and it was clear that the others had abandoned us. Fucking jerks!

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Mike said over and over again. He was definitely panicking. I for one found myself not caring at all if I got in trouble. I don't think my parents would care either.

"Come on, get up there," I told Mike. I locked my hands together to give him the lift he needed, but when he tried to climb up I just wasn't strong enough. He had latched onto the edge of the window when the cops burst through the door and came straight over to us, yanking him down and pressing him against the wall.

"Hey, come on, go easy on him," I said to the cop who I vaguely recognized from one of my many trips to the police station. Another cop grabbed onto my arms, pulled them behind my back and handcuffed them.

"You have the right to remain silent," a very familiar voice said, "I'm sure you know the rest, Kellin,"

"Sure do. Nice to see you again Officer Elmakias. Is it too late to reserve my usual holding cell?" I said cheekily. I glanced behind me and he just smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Anything for my favorite juvenile delinquent. Honestly though, have you not learnt your lesson yet?" he asked as he tightened the handcuffs.

"I'm going use my right to remain silent now, and Mike, I suggest you do the same. Wouldn't want you to say anything you shouldn't," I warned him, hoping that he would get the message. I was trying to tell him not to blab about Oli and the others. There would be hell to pay if he snitched on them. He nodded quickly though, but didn't say anything. I think he was frozen in fear. In fact he didn't say anything else as the police officers led us out of there and drove us to the police station. It was only when they un-cuffed us and locked the holding cell when he finally spoke.

"Oh fuck, Vic is gonna kill me," he said as he went and sat on the bench. He sighed, clearly hating himself for the decision to break into school. He looked genuinely terrified of Vic finding out. Vic isn't even a scary guy. He's a guidance counsellor and supposed to understand teenagers doing stupid things like this, so he shouldn't get too angry, right?

"Look on the bright side," I said as I went and sat next to Mike.

"What bright side?" he asked.

"Well, we'll probably get suspended or expelled, so that means no school," I said cheerily. He didn't look impressed at my contribution to the situation at all. He clearly didn't want to talk anymore, so we sat in silence. I got really bored really quick and ended up standing over at the bars, holding onto them tightly.

"Yo, Elmakias. Have you heard I give great head? Let us out and I'll show you," I said half seductively and half jokingly.

"That didn't work last time and it won't work now, so pipe down," he said as he walked towards us.

"Are you sure? Because I mean, you look kind of tense tonight. You could do with a little stress relief," I winked at him. Him, like all the teachers at school, just rolled their eyes at my comments.

"I called your parents, Quinn. They're out of town and won't be back until morning. They think a night in a cell will do you good," he said. Right, that's what they suggested last time and it didn't "do me good", it just made me tired and cranky the next day because the beds here are uncomfortable as fuck.

"Fuentes, your brother will be here shortly," he said.

"What happens next though? Are you pressing charges? Do I need to go to, like, a trial?" Mike asked quickly and in a panic.

"What happens next is whatever your school decides to do with you. If they want to recommend to send you to juvie, or if they want to press charged then so be it," Officer Elmakias said.

"Oh no, oh God no," Mike muttered and went back to the bench. I looked back at the officer.

"You look hot in that uniform," I flirted.

"Flirtation won't get you anywhere in life," he shrugged the comment off.

"You tell that to all the strippers out there," I said. He ignored me again and walked away from the cell. I looked back to Mike who was sitting there with his head in his hands.

"You need to chill, dude. This is your first offense, right?" I questioned.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Then you'll be fine. You'll get a slap on your wrist and then you'll be on your merry way," I reassured him. He looked up at me.

"No, you don't get it. Just, never mind," he said and crossed his arms over his chest. Wow, way to be Mr. Grumpy. I sighed and turned back to the bars, ignoring Mr. cranky-pants over there. I was bored again and shaking the bars, plus calling out to Officer Elmakias who kept telling me to shut up. A little while later though he came walking down the hall with a very angry looking Vic following. This should be entertaining.

"Aw, well if it isn't my favorite guidance counselor," I said.

"Shut up," he snapped viciously. Oh, looks like the cranky-pants gene runs in the family. I just laughed it off. Officer Elmakias unlocked the holding cell door and slid it open.

"I guess one of you is free to go," he said. Vic looked directly at Mike, glaring at him.

"You, car, now," he ordered. Mike was quick to jump up and run off down the hall.

"I guess I'll escort him out," Officer Elmakias said when it was clear that Vic was staying to talk to me. He closed the cell again and walked off. Vic was sending the most powerful death glare, but it had no effect on me. The second we were alone, he spoke.

"Look, I know you're in this fucking bullshit rebellious stage, but you leave my brother out of it," he practically growled.

I was a little shocked at the colorful language he was using. Teachers usually kept it PG rated, but I guess since we're not in school those rules don't count. He was so angry and I didn't understand. He was young, so shouldn't he just be cool about this? My parents never even got this upset with me.

"Chill out, dude. It was just a bit of fun, so what? Why do you care so much?" I asked. He took a step towards, me, looking enraged, but stopped because the bars were blocking him.

"Why do I care so much?!" he shouted, "Because social services could take him away from me and we're all each other has left!"

I was not expecting that. The first question to go through my head was where are their parents? But I didn't feel like right now was the time to ask.

"Okay, alright, sorry," I backed down. He seemed really upset and I know when enough is enough.

"You're damn fucking right you're sorry. I should stick around until your parents get here because it's about fucking time I had a little chat to them about you," he said. I smirked and took a few steps back.

"Well you'll be waiting until morning," I said and laid down on the bench, staring at the ceiling with a sigh.

"Aren't they coming to get you?" he asked. I scoffed at the question and turned my head to look at him.

"No. They're out of town and they said to leave me here for the night because they think it'll be good for me," I explained. He frowned before he shrugged.

"Well maybe they're right," he said bitterly.

"Yup. And now there's the answer to your question about why I act out. Because no one gives a shit. Why be good when I can play up, spend a night in a cell and go home without any consequences?" I asked, not really sure of why I was telling him this. I had been blocking off my emotions about the whole situation, but really on the inside I was pissed off. What will it take for my parents to care that I'm a fuck-up at life? Apparently getting arrested won't do the trick.

"You act out to get noticed by your parents," he said, his tone no longer angry.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring him and looked up at the ceiling once more. I heard his footsteps walking away from me. I could usually keep my cool but he just pissed me off. He gets under my skin and I don't even understand why, he just does. He bothers me because he makes me talk about this bullshit when I don't intend to. And now I have a night alone to dwell on this little revelation of me being a trouble maker because I'm pathetic and just want attention from my parents. I was wrong though, about the staying here alone tonight, because about ten minutes later I heard footsteps coming back down the hall. I looked over and saw Officer Elmakias and Vic standing there. Officer Elmakias opened the cell and slid the door across.

"It's your lucky day, kid. You're going home with him," he said and nodded towards Vic. I frowned, giving them both a confused look.

"What?" I asked.

"I spoke to the officers and they called your parents. I spoke to your father and he agreed to you coming home with me for the night until they get back in town. They think you'll be safe with your guidance counselor," Vic said.

"Is this allowed?" I asked. I looked to Officer Elmakias and he nodded.

"It's either go with him, or stay in here for a night. Your choice," he said. This place was cold, uncomfortable and had a strange smell to it, so I stood up, going straight over to them.

"Come on then, before I change my mind," Vic said.

—-

The ride back to the Fuentes' one was awkward, but wasn't silent. The car was filled with the sounds of Vic lecturing Mike about how much of an idiot he was, and Mike just sitting there nodding and apologizing. This was strange to me because I had never really had the whole lecture thing from my own parents. It was weird to see someone care, even if it wasn't directed towards me.

When we got to the Fuentes' small, cosy-looking house, Vic was still lecturing Mike right up until he yelled at him to go to his bedroom. I stayed in the corner of the living room, standing perfectly still, waiting. Vic seemed to forget I was there until he turned to face me.

"You can stay in the guest room," he said simply.

He nodded for me to follow him, and I did. He took me down a hall to one of the rooms and opened it.

"Bathroom is down the hall. Mine is that one," he said, pointing to a door, "Get me if you need anything."

He was very quick and straight to the point with his words. He was quick to leave me too, going into his own room, and I was left in the guest one. I went inside, shutting the door behind me. Well, at least this was better than a jail cell.

I took my shoes off and went over to the bed, getting in. I lay there for a while, a long while, actually. Hours? Probably. I couldn't get to sleep. That wasn't anything new. Most nights it either took me around three hours, if I even got to sleep at all. Tonight there was just too much excitement in my night and some nights I could never get settled. I tossed and turned, maybe for another hour. Mike and Vic were probably fast asleep by now.

I got frustrated. I tore the sheets off of me and sat up. It was just too quiet in here. I got out of bed and quietly opened the door. I listened out for any signs of life in the house, but got nothing. I headed down the hall and went into the living room, picking up the remote control for the TV.

I turned the TV on and turned the volume on low. Doing this usually did the trick of making me tired enough to fall asleep. I lay on the couch and watched the TV for a while, mostly infomercials, and I was starting to feel sleepy when a voice sounded around the room which woke me up all over again.

"What are you doing?" Vic asked. I sat up a little and looked at him.

"Oh, uh, I can go back to the guest room if you want," I said somewhat timidly. This wasn't my house after all and Vic was really pissed at me earlier so I didn't want to be a nuisance. I was always like this at other people's houses.

"No, it's fine, but what are you doing up?" he asked. He came over to the couch and I moved my legs off of it so he could sit down.

"Well I was just about to watch some porn, but you interrupted me," I joked. "I mean we could watch it together b-"

"Be serious for once," he cut me off, "Tell me what's up."

I sighed, already feeling myself giving in. He didn't feel like my guidance counselor now that we were out of school though. He was just another person; another person who was extremely good at making me tell him things about myself.

"I have insomnia," I said.

"Oh?" he questioned.

"Yeah, my last guidance counselor told me after I explained my sleeping patterns to him," I explained.

"Oh, have you seen a doctor about it?" he asked. I shook my head. "Well maybe you should then."

I was a little...shocked? No, maybe confused. I wasn't used to this. When I told my parents about the insomnia they just shrugged it off and told me to go to bed earlier. I didn't know how to react to someone acting like they care. It was a foreign feeling.

"Uh right. God, why do we always end up talking about me?" I asked, feeling a bit annoyed. Vic smiled and shrugged.

"That's my job," he said.

"Yeah, but we're not in school," I said.

"Point taken. Go on then, what do you want to know about me?" he asked. There was only one question floating around in my head and I didn't know whether to ask him or not, but the annoyingly nosy side of me made me start speaking.

"Um...well before, at the police station you said Mike was the only person you had left? And I just..." I trailed off, realizing this was a dumb thing to ask because I was sure I already knew the answer. Their parents either left abandoned them, or...

"They died in a car crash two years ago," he said, reading my thoughts. A car crash though, that hit close to home for me. I quickly pushed the thoughts from my past away, not wanting to deal with them right now.

"Oh..." I said softly. "I'm sorry to hear that," My words were sincere, which was odd for me. I'm never usually sincere.

"Yeah...Well I'm sorry for getting so angry at you. But I fought so hard for guardianship over Mike and we didn't go through all the shit we've been through just for him to get taken away because of one mistake," he explained. Now I felt guilty as fuck. I always acted so chill about doing the things I do that I didn't realize how big of a deal this could be for other people.

"Anyway, it's whatever. You should get to bed," he said. I nodded and switched the TV off and we both walked down the hall. I stopped at the guest room and he kept walking, but I felt like assuring him of something.

"Hey Vic," I said. He turned back to me and I could barely make out his features in the dark.

"Yeah?"

"I'll make sure Mike stays out of trouble. I won't let him get mixed in with the wrong crowd," I promised. He smiled at me.

"Thank you, Kellin. I appreciate that," he said, and with that we both went into our separate rooms for the night.

Chapter Text

I rolled over in the bed, almost falling out of it because I swear there's usually a wall there, but when I opened my eyes I realized I wasn't in my room, I was in the Fuentes' guest bedroom. I groaned in my sleepy state and felt around on the bed for my phone. I found it and looked at the screen. It was just past 7am. I was never the type of person to fall back asleep once I've woken up in the morning, so I got out of bed and walked into the hall, wondering if anyone was awake.

I walked down towards the living room, but as I went through the hall a door opened and I ran straight into a half-naked and wet Vic. He had just gotten out of the shower and was wearing nothing but a towel. Water droplets were left across his chest and his arms. Wow, his arms, now they were something I could definitely have wrapped around me. They looked so toned and although he was thin you could tell he had muscle on him. I felt his fingers under my chin before he made me tilt my head up and look at him.

"You definitely aren't subtle, are you?" He asked.

"Hey, I never give up the opportunity to check out a good body." I said, my voice coming out a little croaky as I was still half asleep.

"Yeah, well I'm still your teacher and those comments are still inappropriate." He said in a formal tone. My eyes went back down to his body and I couldn't help but continue this little flirting game I had going on with him. It was fun.

"Hm, those arms look strong. I bet they're good for holding yourself up while fu-" He clamped his hand over my mouth before I could get the words out.

"Inappropriate." He reminded me. I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand away. He shook his head at me in disapproval before walking past. My eyes followed him, watched his backside as he went into his room and closed the door. Wow, he was hot as hell. It's like sometimes you notice someone might be cute and that's all well and good, but then you see them like I just saw Vic and your heart rate speeds up, you feel hot all over and all of a sudden your perspective on them changes. He was no longer my cute teacher, he was a hot teacher who I'd probably think about later in the shower tonight. Wait, no, that's a little creepier than I usually am.

My daydreaming was suddenly interrupted when I felt a cool liquid running over my hair and soaking into my shirt. I gasped at the icy cold substance and looked at Mike who was standing there holding an empty glass.

"What the hell, dude?" I asked.

"You look like you needed to cool down a bit." He said with a roll of his eyes. "I can't believe you're checking out my brother." He must have been watching the ordeal from the living room.

I shrugged, "It's not my fault he's hot. Tell me, does he have a boyfriend?"

"You're kidding right?" He scoffed with a chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah. He's my teacher and blah, blah, blah, I get it. I'm just messing around." I told him. The quicker people realize that everything I say or do is a joke, the better.

"No, it's not that. I mean yes it's creepy because he's, like, old-"

"He's only 22." I interjected quickly. That's not that old.

"Yeah, whatever. But I was laughing because Vic never has boyfriends." He said.

"He doesn't?" I questioned.

"Nope. He's too busy trying to be some kind of super parent." He said.

"Oh..." I said softly, suddenly remembering the conversation Vic and I had last night.

"Yeah. I'm kind of a burden on him, but that should change next year when I'm off at college." He said.

"He can afford to send you to college?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Inheritance from..." He trailed off and suddenly got a sad look on his face.

"Oh, right. Yeah, Vic told me about, like, your parents and...yeah." I said awkwardly. I didn't really do well in situations that were sad or heart-felt or anything like that at all really. I just got really awkward and quiet.

"Yep, anyway, I need to shower. Help yourself to whatever you want." He said, pointing towards what I think was the kitchen. He walked past me and into bathroom which Vic had just walked out of. I went in the direction of the kitchen because I wanted a glass of water. I went in, found a glass, poured myself one and leant against the counter, drinking it. Moments later Vic walked in. He looked surprisingly casual in just black jeans and a red t-shirt. I guess students have this notion that their teachers are always badly dressed and wearing ties even outside of school, but I was wrong.

"You look hotter in normal clothes." I told him. He rolled his eyes as he went over to the fridge and took out what looked like an energy drink.

"You know, there's more to people than what they look like." He said. He came over and stood in front of me.

"Maybe so, but I can't daydream about someone's personality fucking me, now can I?" I asked with a smirk.

"Stop with the comments." He said firmly. He seemed a bit annoyed, but getting a reaction out of him was half the fun.

"Relax, I'm just messing around." I said, yet the flirtatious tone to my voice never faltered. I smiled, bit my bottom and was surprised to see Vic glance down at them. He closed his eyes, sighed and shook his head. Did I just imagine that? If I didn't know any better then I'd say he looked like he was trying to control himself a little. But I did know better, so chances are he was just annoyed by me.

I quickly forgot about whatever just happened when the doorbell rang. Vic was quick to leave the kitchen. I drank the rest of my water and set the glass in the sink. A minute later and Vic was back and grabbing hold of my arm. He pulled me out of the room and I gave him a weird look. What is he up to? I was about to ask but when he took me into the hall I looked to the living room and saw a lady sitting on the couch. She looked very professional and important. I wonder who she is. She looked up and saw me so I gave a quick smile as Vic took me into the guest room.

"What's with all the man-handling?" I asked as I shook free of his grip.

"Sorry, I'm just, whatever. Sorry. Look, you need to stay in here for a while." He said.

"Because?"

"Because that lady out there is from social services. They decided to send someone over for a surprise visit to assess us because of last night." He said.

"Oh..." Suddenly the guilt was back. This was all my doing. Then again it's not like I held Mike at gunpoint and forced him to come along or anything.

"Kellin, I know everything is a game to you, but I need you to just sit in here and behave, please." He said.

"Behave? Aw man, and here I was planning to set the house on fire." I said. He frowned at the comment.

"Okay, I'm starting to think you're a little bit of a pyromaniac, but we'll discuss that on Monday." He said, maybe joking, maybe not, who knows?

"Just, please, Kellin. Just stay in here." He said.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be good. Go on." I said, shooing him out the door. He took a deep breath before nodding and leaving the room completely, shutting the door behind him. I flopped back down on the bed, waiting for whatever's happening out there to be over. I should have just walked home since I was in walking distance, but I was curious about what would happen with Mike and Vic since I feel partly responsible. It was a good hour later when Mike opened the bedroom door.

"Hey, get dressed. Vic said he'll take you home now." He said and went to leave.

"Wait, what happened with the social services thing?" I asked. He pushed the door back open and gave a small smile.

"She asked us a lot of questions and then gave us a warning since it was the first problem we've had. If I mess up again then they might take me away, so I've just got to be good." He said.

"Oh, well that's good then." I said, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't want to deal with the guilt if Mike had been taken away.

"Yeah, anyway, Vic is waiting for you." He said and nodded towards the living room. I got off the bed, put my jeans back on and got my phone. I left the room, going out to the living room to see Vic waiting there.

"Come on, I'm taking you home." He said.

"I can walk." I said.

"Nope, I think it's about time I talk to your parents in person." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Why?" I asked. It was kind of pointless if you ask me. My mom won't care what some random guy says to her about me.

"Because, I need to talk to them about some things." He said.

"But-"

"No buts. It's either you come with me, or I just follow you home anyway." He said. I huffed in frustration. Why does he always have to interject himself into my life? Can't he just leave me be?

"Ugh, fine, whatever." I muttered. I turned to Mike who was in the room with us.

"I guess I'll see you on Monday, dude." I said.

"Yeah, sure. See you." He said. Vic was giving both of us a bit of a disapproving look. I don't think he was happy with us being friends. He turned and walked towards the front door, so I followed him, walking out after him. We went over to the car and he even opened the door for me, practically forcing me to go with him. He went around to the driver's side and started to car. I told him my address which was only a few streets away.

"So what are you going to tell my parents? That I'm a devil child? That I should be locked away? Sent to boarding school?" I asked. I looked at him and saw him shake his head.

"I keep telling you, I'm here to help, not make things worse." He said. Yeah, sure. People don't want to simply help me. There's always a catch.

We got to my house in no time and we both walked up the front steps before I tried the door. It was locked, but I knew my parents were home because their car was here.

"Let me knock. I don't want to just barge in there." He said. I just shrugged and sat down on the porch swing that was near the door so I could sit back and get a little bit of entertainment out of whatever was about to unfold. Vic knocked on the door and a minute later my mom answered. She gave a confused look at Vic before she looked at me and realization crossed her face.

"Oh, you must be Mr, um..." My mom stopped when she couldn't remember.

"Fuentes. I'm your son's guidance counselor, we spoke on the phone at the start of the week." He said. Uh oh...

"Uh, we never spoke on the phone." My mom said and nervously tucked her long, dark hair behind her ears.

"We did. I called, Kellin answered and he gave the phone to you." Vic explained.

"No, I don't remember a phone call." She said. The two of them looked to me and I shrugged.

"Oops." I said and smiled innocently. My mom rolled her eyes.

"Right, he must have given the phone to his sister." She said in a scolding tone. She looked back at Vic and smiled sweetly, "Thank you so much for taking Kellin home last night. I really appreciate it seeing as we were out of town."

"It was really no trouble." Vic said and looked like he was about to say something else but my mom spoke too quickly.

"Come on Kellin, honey, you're just in time for breakfast. I made you're favorite; pancakes." She said. This was a good trait about my mom. Sure, she didn't care about what trouble I got in or about my life at all really. But she could be really nurturing when she wanted to be. I was about to get up when I stopped because Vic started speaking again.

"Wait a second, you're not going to punish him?" Vic asked, like he was surprised because of how nice my mom was being to me. My mom looked a bit shocked at what Vic had said. She was never the type of person to take criticism well, so this should be amusing.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"Well, I don't mean to impose or anything, but your son got arrested last night. He broke into school, vandalized the place and got arrested, yet you're acting like everything is fine." Vic said.

"That's because it is fine. He does this all the time, so there's really no stopping him. The school will punish him, that's their job." My mom said with a bit of attitude to her voice.

"Yes, the school will punish him. But I think that Kellin acts out all the time because he wants attention from his parents." Vic said.

"Oh come on, I don-" I started to defend myself but my mom shushed me and glared at Vic. Oh boy, this could get ugly.

"Are you saying I don't give enough attention to my son?" My mom asked. I almost wanted to answer that question for her. "No, I give plenty of attention to him. I love him. Kellin acts out because he's a teenage boy and that's what they do."

"Look, I can see that you do love and care for your son, but I think a little guidance and discipline from his parents wouldn't go astray." Vic recommended. My mom looked like a dragon that was about to explode. She really doesn't like people telling her what to do.

"Okay, I think you both need to chill for a bit." I said, but I might as well have been invisible because neither of them even so much as glanced my way.

"How dare you try and tell me how to be a good parent! You don't look a day over twenty and you think you know how to control a 17 year old boy?" My mom snapped, her voice rising.

"Yeah, actually, I do. I've been raising my brother who's the same age since he was 15 and he hadn't gotten into any trouble until he started hanging out with your son." Vic said, just as angrily and pointed me.

"Would you two quit arguing about me?" I asked, but once again, I was ignored.

"Are you saying I'm a bad parent?" My mom asked.

"No, not at all. I'm saying that teenage boys need discipline and boundaries set by their parents otherwise they're just going to do whatever they want whenever they want because they don't have any consequences to be afraid of." Vic explained.

"Seriously, stop." I said firmly. I was getting aggravated now, especially since neither was paying attention. They just kept talking about me like I wasn't here.

"This is bullshit. My daughter has never done anything wrong in her life so my parenting isn't the problem here. Kellin is the problem." My mom said. That actually hurt a little.

"He is not a problem. He has some issues to work through but he definitely isn't a problem." Vic said.

"Guys!" I shouted at them and stood up. Once again, I was ignored.

"He doesn't have issues. He's a completely normal boy." My mom said, getting defensive. I didn't like where this conversation was headed and I didn't like being ignored, so I looked around, saw a garden gnome sitting on edge of the patio, picked it up and threw it through the window. The glass shattered, and I supposed it might have been a bad idea, but I usually act before I think. I got my point across though because they both stopped talking and looked at me in surprise.

"Alright, let's get the fucking record straight," I snapped and stepped towards them. "Mom, you kind of suck in the discipline department. You're too fucking busy paying attention to Kailey to even care what I'm getting up to. Hell, you were ready to leave me in a jail cell over night!"

I turned to Vic next, "And you! Stop meddling in my life and mind your own business for once. And both you stop talking about me like I'm not here. I'm not some problem that needs to be fixed. I broke into school, I vandalized the place with my friends. Get over it."

I was done with everything right now so I pushed past my mom, ran upstairs and locked myself in my room.

Chapter Text

I sat outside Principal Holland's office on Monday morning waiting for my turn to go in. Right now Mike and Vic were in there discussing what Mike's punishment would be for breaking into the school. They had us both in there before, drilling us for information about who broke in with us. I wouldn't tell and I had told Mike before school that he'd seriously regret it if he told, so we said it was only us. Principal Holland didn't believe it for a second but it's not like he could force us to talk.

I didn't particularly care about what punishment I got. Suspension, expulsion, detention; it didn't matter to me either way. My parents wouldn't get mad at me. My mom didn't even yell at me after her conversation with Vic. She was too busy being angry at him. I think she purposely didn't punish me just to spite Vic.

The door of the office opened and I looked up to see Mike walk out, only Mike, not Vic. He shut the door behind him. He looked a little relieved so I guess the punishment wasn't that bad.

"What'd they say?" I asked.

"Detention for a month. He said that because I've never screwed up before he went easy on me," he said.

"Oh, great," I said sarcastically, "If he gave you a month and calls that going easy, then I'll probably be in detention until I graduate,"

"Um, actually. I think Holland is really mad at you," he said.

"Of course he is," I said with a sigh. "I guess I have to go in there now?"

"Not yet. Vic wanted to talk to him about you first. Anyway, I gotta go to class. See you at lunch?" he asked. I just nodded and he gave a smile before leaving the office area. I wanted to know what Vic and Holland were talking about, so I got up and moved closer to the door to eavesdrop.

"But he plays up too much and never learns. I want to recommend sending him to a juvenile detention facility so maybe he'll straighten up," I heard Principal Holland's voice. My heart dropped a little at the suggestion, but I shook it off. Maybe Juvie wouldn't be so bad.

"I don't think Juvie is the right place for a boy like Kellin," Vic said. He was defending me? I thought he wanted me gone and away from Mike.

"He's a troublemaker. That's the exact place for him," Holland said.

"It's not though. Yes, he acts up, but there's a deeper reason for it. His parents don't know what discipline is and he acts out for attention. I think if I get a little more time with him then I can break through to him. He's not a bad kid. He's just...misunderstood," Vic said.

Typical. He's always trying to help, but I don't need help. People who try and help turn out to be completely fake half the time.

"Ahem," A voice cleared behind me. I looked around and saw Doris, the old lady secretary giving me a disapproving look. She pointed to the seat so I rolled my eyes and went back over to it, sitting down. A couple of minutes later the door opened and Vic was walking out.

"Mr. Fuentes, it's nice to see you again...unfortunately with a little more clothing on," I spoke before I thought. I do that a lot. I say the first thing that pops into my mind and it's usually an inappropriate sexual comment. He ignored it though.

"Good morning, Kellin," he said formally, "The Principal will see you now."

I stood up just as he was walking off down the hall and then went into Holland's office. He gestured for me to take a seat, so I did.

"Alright, lay it on me, do your worst," I said. Holland didn't look too impressed at the light-hearted tone in my voice though.

"Kellin, I literally don't even know what to do with you anymore. We can suspend you, give you detentions, consider expulsion, but you will never learn," he said.

"Great. So Juvie then?" I asked.

"Fortunately for you, Mr. Fuentes thinks you're redeemable," he said. I was beginning to get sick of his 'Kellin is a lost cause attitude.

"Ah yes, the wise and noble Mr. Fuentes," I said sarcastically.

"Enough with the attitude!" he practically yelled at me. I just smiled. I liked knowing I could aggravate someone this much.

"Chill out dude. What's my punishment?" I asked.

"A month of detention, and cleaning the locker rooms during your guidance counselor sessions," he said. I frowned in confusion.

"So I don't have sessions anymore?" I asked.

"Oh, you do. Mr. Fuentes will be there with you to supervise," he said. I guess that made sense. Super, once again I get off with a series of detentions. I swear nothing can stick to me. I could probably burn down the whole school and still just get a slap on the wrist.

"Okay, are we done here?" I asked.

"Yes, off you go to class. And Kellin, if you mess up again, I won't think twice before recommending Juvie," he said.

"Oh, Principal Holland, admit it; you'd miss me too much if I were sent away," I said as I stood up.

"On the contrary, I think my life here would be a lot more peaceful," he said.

"Where's the fun in that?" I questioned. He rolled his eyes.

"Class. Now," he ordered, and so off I went to class.

—-

"This is ridiculous," I said as I scrubbed at the paint on the locker room walls. It was slowly coming off, but it would take me forever at this rate.

"Well you should have thought of that before you did it," Vic said from where he was sitting on one of the benches.

"I didn't expect to get caught," I said.

"How did you get caught anyway? Mike said there were others but refused to tell who," he said.

"There were others," I admitted, "But they climbed through the window and ran, leaving me and Mike there."

"Was it that boyfriend of yours?" he asked. I stopped scrubbing, turned to him and smirked.

"You seem awfully interested in my love life," I said suggestively.

"No, I'm awfully interested in who else was here that night," he said. I still wouldn't tell him who it was though.

"I'm not telling you who else was here. And for the record, I told you he's not my boyfriend. I'm completely single, if you're interested?" I flirted. He rolled his eyes, just like almost everyone does when they're talking to me.

"You need to stop hitting on me. It's ina-"

"Inappropriate. Yeah, yeah, so I've heard. You're not a special little snowflake though, Vic. I do it to all the teachers," I told him.

"So I've heard. Maybe that's something I should focus on in future sessions. Why do you flirt with everything that moves?" he asked.

"Because I'm a horny teenage boy," I said bluntly. It was a joke, sort of, but it made his eyes widen in shock. I just chuckled and turned back to the wall, continuing to scrub it. Moments later Vic appeared next to me with another scrubbing brush.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I don't exactly like hanging out in the locker rooms. So the sooner we finish this, the sooner we can get back to my office," he said. I watched as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and I was reminded of just how perfect his arms were.

"You should start wearing short-sleeved shirts," I said.

"Why?" he asked as he started scrubbing.

"Because your arms are really hot," I said. He sighed and looked at me.

"Okay, I'm being serious now. These comments have got to stop," he said, sounding annoyed. I didn't like him telling me what to do though, so I ignored him.

"Oh come on, don't be like that. You should accept that others find you hot," I said.

"I won't accept a student saying it," he shot back.

"Why? I may be young, but trust me, I'm all man. I mean, we are alone..." I said and took a step towards him, "So I could show you if you want."

I honestly didn't know why I said these things. I found it amusing to see teacher's reactions to my comments. I liked annoying people. I liked getting under their skin and I liked when they'd get all flustered and shocked at what I would say. It was all fun and games for me. I knew nothing would ever come of the things I said. I just did it for entertainment.

"Stop, or else I'll throw on more detentions," he threatened me.

"Oh, so you want some more alone time with me then? Well all you had to do was ask," I said in my usual flirtatious manner. I was expecting him to ignore me or tell me to shut up, but that's not what I got at all.

"Would you fucking stop!?" he snapped, "Why do you say all of these things, huh? Do you not get enough attention? Did daddy not give you enough hugs as a child?!"

It was the one comment about my father which flicked the switch for me. I went from happy and playful, to downright depressed. Memories swam around in my head and I just wanted them out, but they were there and they weren't leaving no matter how much I wanted them out. I dropped the sponge, letting it land back in the soapy bucket.

"Yeah," I uttered and felt a tear roll down my cheek. I hated when this happened. Sometimes I could have full control over my emotions, but then other times I just couldn't do anything about. I couldn't push it all away even though I wanted too. My mind was lost.

I wanted to away from Vic right now, that fucking asshole. I can't believe he said that and triggered this bullshit. I ran out of the locker rooms with him calling out to me, but I didn't stop. I left the building, going out towards the empty football field. I kept walking, trying to control my breathing and the crying which was quickly turning into sobs. I went under the bleachers and just collapsed to the ground, leaning my back against one of the poles and bringing my knees up to my chest. I rested my arms against my knees and covered my face as I cried.

Fucking emotions! I hate them more than anything, especially when they got out of control. I just needed a moment to myself, that's all, but of course that was too much to ask when you have the world's nosiest guidance counsellor.

"Kellin?" His voice came from near me. I took my hands away from my face and looked up at him.

"Seriously just fuck off," I snapped at him. He looked so shocked at what he was witnessing.

"Why are you crying?" he asked slowly.

"Oh yeah, fucking surprise, the heartless dick who doesn't take anything seriously actually has emotions," I said aggressively. He came closer and I didn't bother moving as he sat down next to me.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what I said back there. I just kind of snapped. It was completely unprofessional and I apologize," he said.

I thought about what he had said in the locker rooms. Was he saying that I was flirtatious with everyone because I didn't get any attention from my father, so in some way I was looking for the affection that I missed out on? That's sick and totally wrong. I'm flirtatious because that's who I am. I've been like this for years.

"If you're gonna stay then cut it out with the professional bullshit and just be a regular human," I said. I wiped at my eyes, willing the crying to stop. It was slowing down now that Vic was here. I can't believe I've showed such weakness to him when I repeatedly told myself not to do that.

"Alright, I'll stop. What's up? I'm assuming it was the comment about your father?" he questioned. I gritted my teeth, not answering.

"Does he hurt you?" he asked. I shook my head. He had never laid a single hand on me.

"Are you in contact with him?" he asked. Once again I shook my head.

"I live with my mom and step dad," I told him.

"Oh, right. So where is your dad then?" he asked. I didn't say anything. It was too hard to even think about this stuff. It was really weighing me down thinking about it. At least my tears had stopped by now.

"Tell me, please? I know that there's a lot you aren't telling me, and I know you aren't the type of person to talk about your feelings, but it might help. Anything you say can be completely between us. I'm legally not allowed to say anything," he said. I glanced up at him and pondered his offer. I hadn't spoken to anyone, ever, about what happened and sometimes, especially right now, it feels like it's suffocating me.

"You can trust me," he said, and I believed him.

"Fine," I whispered and looked away. Maybe it would be best to get it off my chest and so I told him, "Around the start of last year everything was...fine, it was just fine. Then one night my older brother and I were driving home from a party. He was really drunk, but since we only had to drive around in the suburbs we thought it'd be safe, but it wasn't. There were other idiots on the road and we ran straight into them. My uh, my brother, he swerved the car right at the last second so it hit his side instead of mine. He saved me. I can remember it so clearly. I-I remember barely having a scratch on me but being stuck in that car for like an hour with my brother who died instantly."

I choked back the tears that were brimming my eyes, making my vision go blurry. I looked at Vic though. He was looking back with a sympathetic expression on his face. I knew he understood. His parents had died in a car crash so he knew what losing someone was like.

"I'm so sorry," he said. I shrugged and took a deep breath.

"It's okay, really. Me and my brother, Jason, weren't really that close. But he was my brother after all so I did care about him a lot," I said.

"Of course," Vic said in a supportive way. "But um, what has this got to do with your dad?"

"I'm getting to him. Basically, Jason was the perfect son. He was into sports, girls and was interested in my dad's carpentering business. He was like the prodigy son, and then there was me; the one who was into boys, music, art and liked to hang out with my mom and sister more than being with my dad and brother. It was okay though, that's just how our family worked. I knew my dad didn't really accept that I was gay, but he never said anything about it. He just focused on Jason and turning him into the perfect son, while he ignored me and I was fine with that. But then when Jason died he just got so angry because in his eyes it was like he was left with two daughters. One day he told me that he wished it was me that died; that it should have been me because to him, I was useless. He said all of these homophobic things and that he hated me. My mom heard him say the things though and ended up divorcing him and quickly finding someone new, so he left without a word," I spoke and then stopped when Vic placed his hand over mine. I looked down at it, confused at the gesture.

"He's wrong, you know that, right? Everything he said was completely wrong," Vic said. I nodded slowly and looked away again.

"I know that now. At the time I didn't. Something just clicked in my brain and for a week I was a totally different person. It was terrifying. I couldn't control my mind or my body no matter how much I wanted to. It was like I had gone insane. And I... I tried to kill myself, but I failed, so I tried for a second time and obviously failed again. They put me in hospital, dosed me up on anti-depressants, and sent me to therapy for a little while. But the thing was, after that week, I didn't feel like killing myself anymore. It was so weird. I never wanted to kill myself in the first place, but my body was doing things before I could rationally think them out. I always just brush off bad things that people say to me, but for some reason I just couldn't during that week. I had no control and that was the most terrifying part," I explained. I spoke quickly because I hated talking about it. I wanted to get it all out there so he knew. I didn't want to dwell on it.

"I can't believe you went through all of that. I literally had no idea that this is what you were hiding," he said.

"Yeah, well..." I just shrugged, not sure of what to say. One thing I was sure of though was that I felt so much better getting all of that off my chest. It was the first time I had ever spoken about it and it felt good. I felt so vulnerable though. He now knows the weakest parts of me. I looked at him in confusion.

"Why are you listening to me say all of this?" I asked.

"Because I care," he said and his grip on my hand tightened. I looked down at our hands, before looking back at his face.

"I'm not used to people caring," I muttered.

"Well you deserve it," he said sincerely. I wasn't used to this feeling at all. It warmed my heart and kind of made me want to cry. Even my own mother hadn't heard half the things I had just told Vic.

"Really?" I asked in self-doubt.

"Yes, really," he said, giving me that kind and affectionate look. Once again, I acted before I thought and I lean forward, pressing my lips against his.

It was only when I began kissing him that my thoughts caught up with me and I wondered what the hell I was doing. Did my ridiculous flirtation just turn into something else? All I knew was that he cared for me when no one else did. The kiss felt really good, although I noticed he didn't kiss me back, but he didn't move. He brought his hand up to my face, caressed it for only a moment, before pushing me away. I opened my eyes, only now fully realizing that I just kissed my teacher.

"Look, Kellin...I... I'm your teacher," he stated the obvious.

"I don't care," I said simply.

"Well I do. I'm sorry, I probably got a bit too close or sent the wrong signals and I definitely shouldn't have held your hand and, oh God, you aren't going to tell anyone are you? I didn't mean for it to happen. I don't want to lose my job when I just got here," he spoke so quickly. He looked so flustered and nervous. The seriousness of the conversation before was disappearing as I looked at him in amusement.

"Calm down. I'm not gonna say anything," I said.

"Oh...good. That's good," he said and moved away from me, standing up.

"So like, you're good now?" he asked, still sounding nervous. I smirked at him.

"Yes, I'm good," I said.

"Okay, well great. Uh, nice chat and I'll um, I'll see you tomorrow," he said, walking back away from me like I was some kind of poisonous animal. He almost tripped on a rock but quickly gained his balance, gave an awkward smile and turned, walking away.

I was left with two thoughts; First, I'm never showing my serious side again. It's back to normal, careless, flirtatious Kellin. Second, I have a legitimate crush on my guidance counselor.

Chapter Text

I walked into school the next day with a different attitude to yesterday. Yesterday I had let my guard down. I was vulnerable, weak and pathetic. I showed Vic another side to me; a side that I wanted to forget about and keep hidden. So today I was back to how I would usually act. I was feeling fun and somewhat flirtatious. I was going to put that mood to good use and had my sights set on Mr. Victor Fuentes.

I'm not stupid, I was fully aware that Vic had hesitated yesterday when I kissed him. He hadn't pushed me away quickly like a normal teacher would. He might not have kissed me back, but he sure as hell didn't try and stop me at first. Then afterwards he acted like a nervous teenager, stuttering and stumbling over rocks. I wasn't blind to what was happening right in front of me. I had a thing for him, and there was no doubt in my mind that he has a thing for me too. Why else would he act like he cares about me so much? Why would he be so interested in my life? Why would he want me to stay the night last weekend? Why did he hold my hand? And most importantly, why didn't he push away? It was just so obvious to me that he must be into me too. In my mind, my suspicions were confirmed when he sent a student to my first period class the next day to tell me to go and see him. I didn't have a session with him today and if he wanted to talk then he could have pulled me aside during lunch or wait until our next session, but no, he wanted to see me bright and early where we could talk alone.

As I was walking towards his office I wondered what he'd say to me. He was the professional and responsible type so my guess would be that he'd try and play it off as if it were nothing; a simple mistake. That wasn't the way I did things though, at least, when it comes to guys. When I want a guy, you better believe I'll do something about it and I won't stop until I get him.

When I got to the door to Vic's office I knocked, waited two seconds before getting impatient and opened the door. I looked inside, but it was empty, so I let myself in. I strolled over to the desk, walking around it so I got to Vic's chair and sat on it. I spun around in it as I waiting for him to get here. I looked at his desk. It was perfectly clean and everything was set out nicely, much unlike my old guidance counselor who would have half empty cups of coffee everywhere as well as student's files laying open.

The door opened, stopping me from actually going snooping. I spun around to face it and smiled when I saw Vic standing there. He was, well, hot, like I expected. He was wearing skinny jeans, like normal, and a shirt which wasn't exactly in good taste. It actually looked hideous, but on him it looked good.

"Hey handsome," I said, smiling. He glanced away nervously before looking back, acting more confident.

"Sit over there," he ordered and pointed to my usual seat. I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout.

"But I like it here. There's plenty of room for the both of us," I flirted. He sighed and came towards me, stopping next to the chair. I spun a little so I was facing him.

"Up, now, and over there," he said in a demanding tone.

"Make me," I teased, grinning wider. I bit my bottom lip and looked up at him playfully.

"Kellin, I told you, no more of this," he said. I could tell I was maybe pushing a little too much, so I let up a little.

"Alright, I'm going," I said. I stood up, keeping my body close to his. He looked uncomfortable as he maneuvered around me and sat in the chair. I went to the other side of the desk, plopped down and smiled innocently.

"So, why have you summoned me?" I asked.

"I want to talk to you about yesterday," he said in a tone that was all too professional.

"What about yesterday?" I asked, playing dumb. He looked a little annoyed at the question. I knew I was playing with fire right now, but what can I say? I guess I liked fire.

"You know..." He muttered quietly. I wanted him to say it out loud though, so I continued the clueless act.

"Uh... I'm not following?" I said, acting confused.

"You kissed me, Kellin," he finally said with a sigh. A look of realization crossed my face.

"Oh, right, the kiss. Did you like it?" I asked cheekily. He shot me a glare.

"No, I did not like it," he snapped. He was being sure to whisper even though these walls were practically sound proof. He was afraid of getting caught. I however was not.

"You know, I can kiss a lot better under different circumstances," I pointed out. He rolled his eyes.

"Enough," he said firmly, "You kissing me again is not going to happen,"

"Who said anything about me kissing you? I was just stating that I'm a good kisser. You're the one who inferred that I want to kiss you, which means you must be thinking about it," I teased. He gave a frustrated sigh and lean forward in his chair.

"I don't think you understand how serious this situation is. You're a student who kissed a teacher and-"

"And you're a teacher who didn't push away straight away," I finished the sentence. He looked a bit shocked at what I said. He shook his head quickly.

"No, I was surprised, that's all," he said. He sighed again and I could tell he was having a difficult time with this conversation. The fact that I was bothering him this much made me feel kind of good.

"Is there a problem?" I asked innocently.

"Yes, Kellin, there is a problem," he said like I was stupid, "This is serious. Usually I'd have to take the matter to Principal Holland and there would be an investigation, but I want to avoid that and work this out for ourselves. So please, Kellin, can you meet me half way here and just be serious for two minutes," I rolled my eyes. I guess my fun is over with and it's time to put him out of his misery.

"Take a chill pill, dude. I'm messing with you. I'm not going to say anything to anyone about what happened," I said. He seemed to visibly relax.

"And promise me you won't try it again? You need to understand that I'm your teacher and I want the flirting, the looks and the comments to stop," he said.

"Or else what?" I asked.

"Or else I'll have to go to Principal Holland and you'll be taken out of these sessions," he said. I pondered that thought for a moment and I realized something.

"But I don't want to be in these sessions, which means that you're the only one who wants me here. Tell me, why do you want to spend so much time with me?" I asked, smirking.

"It's not like that. You have to get whatever delusion you're having about me out of your head because whatever you're thinking, it's not going to happen. I don't want to have to kick you out of these sessions because I think you still need to be here," he said. I rolled my eyes at the remark.

"I don't need to be here, actually," I said with a bit of attitude.

"Kellin, you do. What you told me yesterday-"

"Never happened. I didn't tell you anything," I said quickly and sternly. I didn't want to talk about or even remember what I told him yesterday. I was afraid that he'd bring this up, but I wanted to make it clear that it wasn't up for discussion.

"Right, you don't want to talk about it. But I still think you need these sessions," he said. Yeah, right. I could see right through him. I saw the nervous glances away from me or how he looked uncomfortable around me. He is so into me, and that's why he wants to keep me around. I know what I'm talking about here. He was going to be difficult to crack though, but I would, in time.

"Alright, fine. Let's forget everything that happened yesterday, kay?" I asked. He nodded slowly, looking at me warily, like he didn't trust me, and so he shouldn't! I definitely shouldn't be trusted.

"Okay, yes, good. Now off to class," he mumbled, clearly eager to rid of me. I smiled, loving that I had gotten under his skin, then I got up and went back to class.

—-

Lunch time rolled around quickly and I sat at my usual table with Alex, Tay and Mike. It was good having Mike be a part of our little group of friends. Usually I'd feel like a bit of a third wheel with Alex and Tay, but now with Mike here it was a little less awkward. He fit in with us really well too.

I was having a good time until my eyes drifted to the table which all the stoners and resident bad boys sit. I saw Oli there and something inside me just kind of snapped. I was, in all honesty, still pissed off at him for abandoning Mike and I that night in the locker rooms. I hadn't spoken to him at all since then and I could feel the rage rising in me and I couldn't stop my movements. I was up and walking away from my friends, towards Oli.

"Where are you going?" I heard Tay ask, but I was on a bit of a mission so I ignored her. I got to Oli and the first thing I did was knock his tray of food onto the ground with a crash. He looked up at me, glaring.

"Woah, chill out. What's your problem?" he asked.

"My problem? What's your problem? I can't believe you just left me there the other night," I snapped. His friends were all looking up at us now. Jordan and Matt had moved to get up to defend Oli, but he raised his hand, stopping them. We had a few others from surrounding tables watching us too. It's not every day someone messed with Oli and his group.

"I had to save myself. There was no point in both of us getting caught," he said.

"Yeah well I was there helping you out and you just abandoned me because you're a fucking dick," I said harshly. I don't know what was making me say these things. The words just spilled out of my mouth and I barely had a second to even think about them.

"Calm down Kellin. Maybe you can release your frustrations this afternoon at my place..." He said suggestively, adding a wink for good measure. The comment just fired me up even more.

"Your tiny dick couldn't release anyone's frustrations," I snapped, speaking loud enough for everyone else to hear. Something changed in Oli's eyes. He was no longer playful and he looked like he was out to kill.

"What the fuck is your problem?" he asked me again. My feet moved on their own, taking a step towards him.

"You are my problem," I said and pushed him. Why was I picking a fight? I had no idea, but I was so angry I felt like I could take on the entire cafeteria.

"Stop being such a fucking drama queen," he said and went to turn back to his table but that comment was the last straw and I leapt at him, tackling him to the ground. The cafeteria erupted into excited shouts, most people encouraging us. Oli flipped me onto my back and went to punch me, but I found an unknown strength and pushed him off me. I scurried over to him, getting on top once more and latched onto his shirt.

"Fuck you, Oli!" I shouted. I was seeing nothing but red as I pulled him up from the ground and roughly pushed him back against it. I wanted to hit him and was going to as well, but that's when the teachers got to us. Someone pulled me back and I looked to Oli. He went to jump at me again but Coach McKinnon grabbed him and pulled him back too. Before I knew what was happening I was being led out of the cafeteria, away from the excited shouts. I was still yelling, swearing and struggling to get back at Oli until I was in the quiet, empty hall way.

"Let me go, you fuck!" I shouted and pushed the person away. I turned to see that it was Vic.

"Of course it's you. Why are you always just there, huh?" I shouted, my anger from before was still radiating off me and no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't stop it, "Whenever something happens you're right there, watching me, ready to swoop in and save the motherfucking day!"

"It's my job as a guidance counselor. You need to calm down," he said softly, but firmly.

"Your job?" I scoffed and chuckled, "Why don't you just admit you wanna fuck me?"

"Kellin!" he shouted. I honestly had no idea where that comment came from but at the time I didn't care and I didn't regret it. "That is highly inappropriate,"

"Yeah, everything is inappropriate to you. Fuck you!" I lashed out. He had that usual 'teacher' look on his face. The one that was authoritative and wasn't going to put up with anyone's shit.

"Alright, come on," he said. He grabbed hold of my upper arm and at first I struggled, but as he took me along the hallway I just went along with him. I was still fuming. It was like I wanted to get into a fight with everything that moved. I even sent a death glare to a poor freshmen who was in the next hall. He scurried away quickly. Vic took me up the stairs to his office and pulled me inside.

"Sit," he ordered and shoved me down in the seat. I gripped the arms of the chair tightly, but stayed in my place. He went over to the water cooler, got a plastic cup, filled it, then handed it to me.

"Drink some water and calm yourself down," he said. I glared at him and he gave me a 'hurry up' look. My mouth was feeling dry after the fight, so I drank the water, feeling a little better. I scrunched the cup up when I was done and tossed it towards the trash. I was sitting here, shaking a little.

"Why did you pull me away? I want to fucking kill him," I said through gritted teeth.

"You need to calm down," he said and knelt down in front of me. I looked into his eyes which were no longer telling me that he was an authoritative figure, but instead they were kind.

"Just, breathe for a few minutes. Just focus on breathing," he said. I rolled my eyes, but copied his breathing motions. Slowly but surely my temperature was decreasing. My anger was slipping away, although I still wanted to kill Oli.

"Why did you do that, Kellin? You don't seem like the violent type," he said. I didn't answer him at first. I kept breathing because it was actually helping with keeping the anger under control. I sat there, now thinking about what I had just done. That was very unlike me, and an overreaction. I never lash out like this. I could usually keep level-headed and keep my confrontations to a few snarky comments. I don't know what had come over me just then. I just kind of snapped and I had no control over it.

"I don't know," I said in confusion.

"What did Oli do to make you angry?" he asked. I shook my head and shrugged.

"It doesn't matter," I said. I think he probably knew it was about what happened on the weekend. I still hadn't given up Oli's name because I didn't want to be a snitch, but I could tell that Vic just knew.

"Okay, well are you calm now? You're not going to go and slaughter someone if I let you out of here?" he asked. I was still confused and a little shocked at myself because I didn't understand how I just lost it like that, but I was calm now, so I nodded.

"I'm fine. What's my punishment?" I asked, getting straight to the point. He sighed and stood up again, leaning back against the desk.

"Well, no punches were thrown so it's not that serious. You already have detention all month so I think we'll just leave it at that, but no more violence," he said.

"Fine, whatever," I muttered. "Can I go now?"

"Just one more thing," he said. I rolled my eyes and looked at him expectantly. "You were also pretty angry at me back there. I know I'm not your favorite person but I want to relinquish any negative feelings towards each other because I'm your guidance counselor and we need to have a friendly relationship."

I blinked a few times, confused at first because he always spoke so professional, but then his words got through to me.

"I'm not mad at you. I don't know what came over me. Really, I don't," I said. He gave me a curious look, like he was contemplating something, then shook his head, getting rid of whatever thought he was having. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but more than that I just wanted to get out of here.

"Can I go?" I asked again.

"Yeah,sure," he said. I didn't wait around for anything else to be said. I got up and left, heading to my next class instead of back to the cafeteria.

Chapter Text

I had calmed down a lot in the past couple of days. I skipped school yesterday because I simply didn't want to deal with anyone or anything. Once I got over my little bought of anger I was once again fixated on somehow winning Vic over. I was going to ignore his protests of leaving him alone because I'm not dumb, I know he wants me but he's just trying to be responsible. He just needs a little push in the right direction.

"What are you gonna do? Seduce Mr. Fuentes?" Alex asked me after I told him that I had a thing for our teacher. I shrugged as we approached the classroom for health class.

"I don't know, probably. I mean, why not?" I asked.

"Because he's your teacher and student/teacher relationships are illegal," he pointed out.

"Oh please, it's not like I'm gonna marry him. I just want to have some fun," I told him.

"Well whatever dude. I know there's no stopping you when you want something," he said. I chuckled at that because it was very true. I was definitely a determined young man.

Alex and I got to our classroom and got to the door. There was a sign on the front informing the females of the class to make their way to a different classroom. If they were separating the boys and girls that could only mean one thing.

"Sex education," Alex and I said with grins on our faces. I pushed the door open and instead of seeing our usual health teacher, Miss McDougall, we saw Mr. Fuentes and Coach McKinnon. Oh this just got very, very interesting. They made us have sex education classes at the start of every school year and they would always split us into the two groups and had two teachers teach us. It was always McKinnon, but usually our old Biology teacher.

"Don't just stand there, take a seat," Mr. McKinnon told us impatiently. Most of the boys from our class plus the other health class were here already. There were a couple of seats down the back, but I wanted to be front row to mess with Vic, so I walked over and sat right in front of him, smiling up brightly. He had been looking at me, but just looked away. I glanced at Alex and smirked. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head at me.

There were still a couple of minutes until class started, so while the rest of the class chatted to each other, I kept my eyes on Vic, with a playful glint in them. He glanced at me every now and again while he talked to McKinnon. I hope this makes him nervous. I was very skillful in the art of eye-fucking someone, and that's what I was going to do to Vic all throughout this class. I'd look at him lustfully and flirtatiously and he'll just have to give in soon.

"Alright, quiet down," Mr. McKinnon spoke, "I think you all know what today is."

"Sex ed! Fuck yeah!" A kid from down the back shouted out. I think his name was Jack Barakat. He was one of the kids in class that's extremely immature. Judging by the snickering and hollering going on around him, all of his friends were going to be like that too.

"Yes, ha ha, very funny, we're talking about sex. So set your immaturity to the side and just get over it," McKinnon said. I chuckled at them being put in their place.

"Now, let's start off with something that will surely put you off sex completely. STD's," McKinnon said. The whole class, including me, groaned. I tuned out as he continued on talking about statistics and making sure you use protection. He spoke about teen pregnancy, which is something that I'll never have to worry about. If a guy gets me pregnant I will be very impressed.

His speech about teen pregnancy and diseases went on for a lot longer than I thought was necessary, especially since we all knew this stuff. He just went into a lot more details seeing as we're seniors now and they want to teach us every single damn thing before college. Eventually though he was done and took a step back as Vic stepped forward. I sat up straighter in my chair, giving him my full attention.

"As your guidance counselor I am here to let you all know that you can come and to talk to me, at all hours of the school day, if you're feeling unsure or pressured about sex, or anything in general that you might be too afraid to tell anyone else. I'm not going to preach too much about abstinence, but it is important. You have to stop and ask yourself about what the consequences will be if you do partake in sexual intercourse. Not just the physical side of possibly getting an STD or getting a girl pregnant, but also the emotional side. You need to be 100% ready and from what I've seen with high schoolers is that they think they're ready and in love, so they have sex and then afterwards they regret it. I urge you all to wait until you're at least in long term, committed relationships before you do such activities," Vic said and I raised my hand to stop him.

"Yes, Kellin," he said with a sigh.

"What if I don't want to wait? What if I see someone who is so god damn hot and sexy that I can't help but imagine ripping off all his clothes and-"

"That's enough," Vic interrupted me. My eyes scanned his body and I smirked at him so he'd know exactly who I was talking about.

"Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes," I said in an innocent voice. Some of the class was snickering at how straightforward I was being. Most of them knew that I was like this all of the time so it didn't faze them that I was so open, or the fact that I was talking about sex with another guy.

"That's okay, you do raise a very valid point. Us teachers aren't stupid, we know what teenage hormones can do and know that sometimes nothing will stop you from doing what you want-" He said and I couldn't help but interrupt him.

"Absolutely nothing," I confirmed, smiling at him. He looked down at me, seemingly uncomfortable and looked away quickly. I think he got the message that I was talking about him.

"Right, so, we think it's necessary to teach you all about safe sex. So, Mr. McKinnon..." Vic said and looked back to Coach McKinnon. He walked around to the back of the desk and came up with a box, although we couldn't yet see what was inside, but then he pulled out a bunch of bananas.

"Oh my God," Alex laughed next to me, along with the rest of the class.

"It's good to have practice so you all know, in a controlled environment where you can get guidance if needed, how to properly put on a condom," Vic said. While Mr. McKinnon handed out the bananas to each of us, Vic retrieved the condoms and handed them out.

"Thank you, Mr. Fuentes," I said, smiling at him cheekily. He ignored me and went around to the rest of the class.

"Now, I'm sure a lot of you have probably already done this before, but we're still going through it. It's pretty straight-forward..." Vic went on, talking about how to put a condom on, but I was well aware of how.

"So, go ahead. Mr. McKinnon and I are available for any questions. Don't be shy if you need help," Vic said and he stepped back.

The class erupted into chatter as they all talked about how many girls they've been with, basically boasting and saying they don't need to learn this. Most of them were full of shit though. I picked up the condom from the desk and waited until Vic's eyes inevitably fell on me. When they did I brought the wrapper up to my lips and seductively ripped the packet open with my teeth, all while keeping eye contact with Vic. If he didn't get the message by now then I didn't know what would make him. I had expected him to roll his eyes and look away by now, but he didn't. I totally had him. His eyes were still glued to me. I picked up the banana and expertly rolled the condom on, still keeping eye contact with Vic. Yes, it was just a banana, but when I wanted to try and seduce someone, I did it right, no matter what I had to work with.

He finally moved, walked over to me, and placed both hands on my desk, leaning over. I looked up innocently. He didn't look very happy with me.

"Is there a problem, sir?" I asked sweetly.

"I know what you're doing. Stop it," he whispered harshly.

"What am I doing? I'm just doing what you told me to do. I'm kind of disappointed you didn't get flavored condoms though, just for a bit of fun," I said. I glanced around quickly, brought the banana to my mouth and licked the top sensually. I looked down at his hands. They had clenched onto the end of the table tightly. I guess my teasing had worked.

"Outside, now," he demanded in a louder voice, gaining the attention of some others around us. I didn't move for a moment and he looked more irritated. "Out of the classroom, now! If you're not going to behave, then out!" he barked, getting the attention of most others now. All I did was smirk at him and his angered face, gather my books and walk out of the classroom proudly.

Once I was out in the empty hall I turned back to the door to see Vic come out after me and practically slam the door behind us. He stormed over to me and did something I did not expect. He pushed me against the lockers, glaring at me.

"What the fuck are you doing, huh?" he asked. Once again I was startled by his reaction, but I quickly recovered.

"Oh, someone likes it rough," I teased. This just seemed to have him fuming more.

"Do you think this is a game?" he asked.

"Well if it is, I'm certainly winning, aren't I?" I asked. His glare faltered for a moment and I smiled in triumph. I was right, I was having an effect on him.

"No, you're not," he said and took a step closer, "You need to stop this. Stop the comments and the flirting and all the bullshit, because I am your teacher, okay? Your fucking teacher! And I'm sorry I'm being so unprofessional right now and using this language but something has to get it through your head, so just stop with this already,"

"Aw Mr. Fuentes, you seem so angry," I said, still using a sweet tone. He was standing so close to me so I took hold of his tie, "You could probably do with some stress relief."

"Don't," he warned me. I lightly tugged on the tie, making him step towards me. I was about to make my move.

"You know..." I started, moving my face, more importantly my lips, closer to his, "You have a lock on your office door...no one could interrupt us..."

His anger was apparently gone as he glanced down at my lips. I smiled and tilted my head up, almost pressing my lips against his when he pushed me away and once again the look of anger was there.

"I'm just going to say this one more time, Kellin. I do not want you," he said clearly, enunciating each word perfectly and firmly, and maybe even a little harshly. Just like that a switch went off in my mind that made me go from playful and flirtatious to sad and depressed. The emotions came on so suddenly. I had been so happy one second and the next I felt really stupid for acting how I do. I felt like bursting into tears. My face had fallen, showing nothing, no emotions, and I just walked away from him.

He didn't try to stop me. Of course he didn't, why would he? He didn't want me. No one does. Oli never wanted more than a fuck. My dad didn't want me. I'm pretty sure my parents don't want me either. I shook my head quickly, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I wasn't quite sure what was happening to me. Do other people get so sad so quickly like this? Or is it just me?

I found myself on the football field where I knew there were no classes right now because I wanted to be alone. I ended up at the bleachers and just sat on one of them. I breathed heavily and shakily. I was trying to control myself and my emotions like I knew I could. I had gotten so used to blocking things out but now I just lost it. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I sobbed hysterically. I buried my face in my hands and tried to control myself, but I simply couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

I was scared too because this doesn't happen often. I don't like to cry and I can normally stop whenever I want but it felt like I would never stop. I had started out being upset about one thing; rejection, and ended up thinking about every little thing wrong with my life. I just wanted it to stop, but I also wanted to let it all out. All sorts of thoughts were going through my head. I was thinking about how much of a failure I was and all the people I fail. Nothing goes right. I make a mess of everything. I'm a fucking idiot.

I don't know how long I was sitting there until I heard the sound of my name, then footsteps coming towards me. I felt their presence in front of me and then it was confirmed when they grabbed hold of my wrists and took my hands away from my face. Through blurry vision I saw Coach McKinnon.

"Kellin...What's wrong? What happened?" he asked. His usual angered and domineering voice was soothing as he spoke, but that wasn't much help to me. I just cried harder.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. I shook my head because really the reasons had flown out the window by now and I didn't want to tell him anyway.

"Make it stop. I don't want to feel anything anymore," I whined.

"What are you feeling, Kellin?" he asked.

"Just make it stop," I put my head in my hands again. I was freaking out because now I was thinking that if I had so easily just slipped into whatever this mood was then what if it happened again? What if it happened more frequently? It's already happened twice in a short amount of time, so what if it keeps happening? What if I get as bad as I was last year? The thought just made me more upset.

"I'm going to get Mr. Fuentes, alright?" McKinnon asked. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"You do that," I muttered. I heard him walking away, then I looked up and after seeing I was alone I got up and ran off the football field and out of the school, heading home so I could get over this in peace.

Chapter Text

I awoke with a start, sitting up and looking around my room as if something were wrong. Fear ran through me and I grabbed my phone, quickly turning the screen on before shining it around my room. I saw nothing there. I sighed in relief, realizing I must have had a dream although I didn't remember it. I looked at the digital clock sitting on my bedside table. It was just past 1am and I had gone to sleep only an hour ago. I groaned and let my head hit the pillow once more. It had taken long enough to fall asleep in the first place, and why? Because I couldn't stop crying. I barely even had a reason for it at the time, but I just wanted to cry, and so I did, for hours. Now I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep again, but I still tried.

I lay flat on my back with my eyes closed, yet no matter how tired I was, I couldn't fall asleep. My eyes shot open when I heard footsteps outside my bedroom door, then noises coming from the bathroom and then eventually my family's bedrooms. It was quiet tapping and bumps or thuds. They didn't stop though, not for a couple of hours. I tried to ignore it and go to sleep but every time the noises would come from outside my bedroom door I'd feel so much anxiety.

I decided I'd get up and tell them to shut up, so I did. I got up, opened my door, but found the hallway was empty. I checked my sister and my parent's rooms but they were all sound asleep. I heard a creaking sound behind me in the hall, so I spun around quickly, my heart beating erratically in my chest. Nothing was there. I guess lack of sleep can do this to people.

I hurried back to my room, switched my light on, grabbed my iPod, put the buds in my ears, turned my music on and sat on my bed, leaning against the wall. That's what I did for the next 6 and a half hours. I was wide awake, yet tired at the same time. I didn't go to sleep at all. By the time morning had rolled around I felt like I was going to just shut down, but I forced myself to get ready for school. The last thing I wanted was to be in this creaky house alone all day, being tired. At least school will ware me out a bit.

Like a zombie I went through my morning routine. I lingered on the thought that maybe being so sad is what was preventing me from sleeping. I got too lost in it and the thoughts consumed me. I didn't want to feel like this though, nobody does. I wanted to be my usual self but I could even form a fake smile right now. It was like something had taken over and I was willingly letting it do so.

The walk to school was a long one and by the time I got there class had already started. It was like I was an auto-pilot. I barely paid attention to anything. I was quiet. I didn't participate in any school work which wasn't that odd for me, but it wasn't to be rebellious. It was because I didn't have the energy. Alex and Tay asked me a few times what was wrong but I shrugged it off and they soon forgot about it. I didn't want to seem weak by talking about how I feel, not to mention I wasn't sure why I was being like this. I just knew that I didn't want to exist right now. I felt like breaking down like I did yesterday, but I was too tired.

Soon enough my session with Vic rolled around and I let myself into his office like I usually do. He was already in there and looked up at me. I didn't take any notice of his facial expression. I just sat in the chair across for him, waiting patiently for the session to be over.

"Hey, Kellin. How are you feeling today?" he asked. Do the dark circles under my eyes, disheveled hair and not give a fuck a fuck attitude about whatever uncoordinated clothes I picked out today not indicate that I'm not feeling that great? I didn't mention that though. Instead I shrugged as I stared at the surface of his desk.

"Coach McKinnon came to see me yesterday. He said he found you on the football field crying. Do you want to talk about that?" he asked.

"No," I said simply, keeping my gaze away from him.

"Was it because of what I said to you in the hall?" he asked.

"Don't flatter yourself," I said in a dull, dead tone.

"Okay, what was it then? It seems out of character for you to just cry like that," he said. I didn't have an answer for him, so I stayed quiet.

"Kellin I can't help you if-" he stopped mid-sentence when the phone rang. He sighed and answered it.

"Vic Fuentes' office...yes...uh huh...yeah I'll be there in a moment," he said and then hung up the phone. I finally looked at him just as he stood up, "Excuse me, I'll be back in a minute," with that note he was walking out of the office, leaving me alone.

I sighed and got up, contemplating if I should just leave because I wasn't in the mood to be here, but I didn't leave, I stayed. In the back of my mind I think I feared myself. Last time I felt like this I tried to kill myself and now I'm feeling like that again and I guess I was kind of afraid to be alone, but on the other hand I didn't care what happened to me. I was stuck between wanting to be okay, and digging myself deeper in this hole I'm in.

I walked around the office and found myself at the window. I opened it and looked down, fantasizing about how easy it would be to just end it all. I gripped the window ledge and poked my head out further, staring longingly at the ground. My eyes felt droopy. My lack of sleep was catching up to me and I felt so weak all of a sudden. I just wanted to pass out and fall through the window. Maybe I will...

"Hey," a voice came from behind me and I was pulled back. I turned, seeing Vic.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking at me in concern. I blinked a few times, considering what I should say.

"Remember when I told you about that week where I..." I trailed off, my voice going quieter and quieter. He seemed to understand what I meant though.

"Wait, are you feeling like that again?" he asked. Suddenly I wished I hadn't said anything. I didn't want to be that depressed kid with issues, so I shook my head.

"No, I don't know. I'm talking nonsense. I didn't get much sleep last night," I said, shifting the focus of the conversation.

"You didn't? The insomnia again?" he asked, and I nodded, "How many hours did you get?"

"Like one," I said. He gave a worried look.

"You can't be at school on no sleep. I can arrange for you to go home," he said. I shook my head quickly.

"No, I don't want to," I said.

"Why not?" he asked. Fuck, I felt so weak and pathetic. This was so unlike me. I felt like I needed help but I didn't want to ask for it from him. I was desperate not to be alone though.

"I um...I..." I sighed, hating myself for this, "Can I just stay, please,"

"Can you just tell me what's going through your head, please? You're starting to worry me and I want to help," he said. No one can help me. Right now I felt like I was beyond help.

"Nothing," I said. He gave me a look of disbelief.

"You're lying," he said.

"I'm not. I'm just tired," I told him. He looked somewhat defeated. I really wasn't used to someone caring about how I'm feeling, then again, did he really care? Yesterday he seemed to hate me, but now he's really acting like he cares. Not even my parents cared this much when I was acting different this morning. They didn't even notice.

"You should stay here for a few hours," he said.

"I can't, I have class," I said.

"You're excused for the rest of the day. You can stay in here and sleep on the couch," he said.

"But what about when you're seeing other students?" I asked.

"Don't worry about that," he said dismissively. He grabbed my arm lightly and pulled me over to the couch, "Just lay down and let yourself sleep. You clearly need it a lot."

I looked down at the couch, admitting to myself that it was awfully tempting. I needed the sleep and I didn't want to be alone, so I nodded, agreeing with his suggestion.

"Alright, fine," I said. I laid down on the couch, letting my head rest against one of the cushions. Vic walked away and I didn't know if he went back to his desk or walked out of the room, because in a matter of seconds my mind shut down and I was drifting off into unconsciousness.

—-

"Kellin," His soft, soothing voice spoke to me, "Kellin, time to get up,"

My shoulder was getting shaken, so I opened my eyes. I rolled over, forgetting where I was and almost fell off the couch, but Vic steadied me. I yawned and sat up, looking around the room. I was feeling groggy, but a lot better than before.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Just past three," he answered. I wiped my eyes before stretching and then I stood up.

"I have detention," I said randomly. I still had to go to detention. I was supposed to go during my sessions with Vic but I guess he let me have a pass today.

"You don't have to go if you're not feeling well," he told me. I thought about it for a moment. The weight on my chest and shoulders, plus the gloomy mood seemed to have been lifted. The suicidal thoughts were gone and instead of wanting to sit around and do nothing, I wanting to do something, anything really. How could the feeling have disappeared so quickly?

"I'm okay. I skipped the past couple of days so I should go," I said. That was still not like me. Usually if I got the chance to skip detention then I would, but I was feeling a lot more docile than usual.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yep," I said simply.

"Well, okay, I'll come with you," he said. He never came to the afternoon detentions, so I didn't know why he wanted to come to this one, but I didn't argue with him. I just agreed and then the two of us walked off towards the locker rooms. Although Mike had still been working on the graffiti too, we weren't quite done yet.

Vic and I walked in silence to the locker rooms. Mike was down there already and had all of the stuff ready for me. We got to work quickly, and Vic stood back supervising us. I didn't talk much because even though the depressing feelings had lifted, I was still feeling weird about the entire day. Mike talked a lot though, and I mean a lot. He definitely loved the sound of his own voice, but I was okay with that because at least it was something to drown out the silence.

"Hey Mike, Coach McKinnon's office still has a little graffiti on the walls, maybe you can clean that off before you get to leave," Vic suggested during the last few minutes of detention.

"Yes, sir," Mike said sarcastically. He took his bucket of soapy water and left the locker rooms, leaving Vic and I alone. He came over to me, picking up a spare scrubbing brush and helped me on the bit I was working on. It was really difficult to get off.

"So how are you feeling now?" he asked, and I contemplated my feelings. I felt like me again, sort of, only a lot quieter.

"I don't know...different," I said. I felt a little more willing to talk about my feelings with him now. He's seen me at my worst, so I didn't see why I couldn't talk, so I did, "I was feeling like that all day and last night...just hopeless. The feeling just felt like it was pretty much gone when I woke up though," I said with a frown. I stopped scrubbing and turned to him.

"Yeah, well sleeping can really do a lot for your mental health," he said.

"Yeah, not to mention having someone here who tries to cheer me up," I said. I was suddenly reminded of my crush on him. I had forgotten about it in my random bout of depression, and now I was remembering the growing feelings I was having towards him.

"It's just my job," he said with a shrug. I shook my head, disagreeing with him.

"I don't see you spending detention with any other students. You go out of your way for me," I said. He turned to me properly, leaning against the wall.

"So?" he asked.

"So...why? What makes me different to the others?" I asked. He looked thoughtful for a while before answering.

"The others aren't as complex as you," he said. I scoffed at that.

"That's the nice way of saying they're not as fucked up as me," I said.

"No, you're not fucked up. I'm sticking with complex," he said. A small smile formed on my lips. A silence passed over us as we stood there, looking at each other. I decided to speak again. While I'm being emotional, may as well get all the sappiness out of the way before I can go back to normal.

"Thank you for caring. I'm not used to it. I know I can be a little shit sometimes, but thank you for not ignoring me like everyone else," I said sheepishly. He didn't say anything, just nodded and kept looking at me. I felt uncomfortable now after showing my vulnerable side to him yet again. This was too serious and intense for me. I wondered what he was thinking now. He was just looking at me like he was in a daze.

"Uh, um, time's up," he said quickly, snapping out of the little stupor he was in and stepping away from me.

"Already?" I asked.

"Yep,"

"Sweet, home time," I said and tossed my scrubbing brush into the bucket of water. I turned to leave but he stopped me.

"Wait a minute," he said quickly. I turned back, giving a curious look.

"Yes?" I questioned.

"Um...What are you doing tonight?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows out of interest. It was a Friday, so why did he want to know what I was doing on a Friday night?

"Uh, nothing. Why?" I asked.

"Well, I'm going out tonight and won't be back until pretty late, so that means Mike will be alone. Maybe you could stay over and keep him company," he suggested. I briefly thought about it, knowing though that my ultimate answer would be yes. Spending the night at your crush's house? Who would say no to that? Even if it's just to hang out with his brother. Plus, I still didn't feel like being alone.

"Sure," I said simply. He smiled brightly.

"Great, let's go then," he said and gestured for me to leave. Together we walked out into the hall, about to go across to get Mike, when I decided to go back to my usual flirtatious self.

"You're not fooling me, Vic. You only want me to sleep over so you can sneak into bed with me," I said and winked at him. Instead of getting angry though, he smiled.

"Good to have the old you back, Kellin," he said and ruffled my hair. I pushed him away playfully, smiling a real smile, and that felt good.

Chapter Text

I guess after sleeping most of the day away in Vic's office now made me wide awake as the night went on. I was feeling a lot more like myself now. I even threw in a few flirtatious comments about Vic's appearance before he left to go wherever it was that he was going. I never asked because at the time it didn't really cross my mind. Of course he brushed the comments off with a roll of his eyes. Now I was in the Fuentes' living room playing video games with Mike. I kept glancing at the clock, waiting for Vic to come home. It was only approaching 10 o'clock though.

"Where is he anyway?" I finally asked Mike.

"Who? Vic?" he asked.

"Duh,"

"He's at some party. Like a college party and people just out of college," he said. I frowned in confusion.

"Party? But you guys only just moved here so how does he even know anyone?" I questioned. He shrugged casually, paying more attention to the game than talking to me.

"A friend of his from high school moved here for college. He's throwing the party. I'm pretty sure Vic's just going to meet some new people, like make friends or whatever," he said, sounding completely disinterested.

This is what was running through my head; Vic was an attractive male going to a party with possibly other attractive males. He'll probably be drunk, letting his common sense falter and sooner or later he'll be in bed with someone. I didn't think that Vic would be the type of person to have a meaningless one night stand, but I wasn't about to sit around and let it happen. I know what I want and I want him, so I'm going to seize this opportunity and do something.

"Where is the party?" I asked. Mike, still focused on the game, didn't even question why I wanted to know.

"I dunno. The address is on the fridge," he said. I set my controller down and got up, going through to the kitchen. I found the post-it note on the fridge with an address. The place was only a couple of streets away from here. I was determined and possibly acting on impulse when I made my decision. I went back to the living room.

"We're going to this party," I told Mike. He finally gave me his full attention when he paused the game and looked up at me.

"Are you crazy?" he asked.

"No, we're going, or at least I am," I said.

"Why? Vic will see us and kick us out straight away," he said. I shook my head.

"No, he'll kick you out. He has no control over me. Are you coming?" I asked.

"This is a bad idea," he warned me, but I was already walking towards the door. I wouldn't let him stand in the way of what I wanted to do. He was either with me, or he could stay here. He ended up following me out of the house and we walked down the street.

"It'll be fun. As long as you don't drink then Vic can't have a reason to be mad," I reasoned.

"You don't know Vic like I do then. He's too protective of me. He barely lets me go over friend's places without practically interviewing them and their parents first. Plus, Vic doesn't really get much time to just be a 22 year old. He's always looking after me or working. He won't like that I'm there annoying him," he said. He needed to relax, to be honest.

"Stop over-thinking it. I'll keep him preoccupied so he won't even notice you there," I said. He made a sound of disgust.

"Gross," he muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Your crush or whatever on my brother. It's weird," he said. I smiled at him.

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked. He looked at me like I was crazy and nodded.

"Um, yes. It was kind of obvious when you saw him walk out of the shower earlier and you said you wanted to climb him like a tree," he said. I just shrugged the comment off.

"Oh please. I say that to all my teachers," I joked. The topic was dropped as we continued walking. I didn't really care that Mike knew my intentions. He'd never tell anyone if something did happen between Vic and I. He cares about his brother too much to get him into any trouble. I briefly considered asking him if he thinks Vic is into me, but I already know he is. I can read body language. He wants me, I just know it.

----

When we got to the street that the party was on it was pretty obvious which house it was. There were a lot of cars out the front and of course music coming from it.

"We should really go back home," Mike said, being much too cautious for my liking. He had stopped walking as we got to the front of the house.

"If you wanna go home, then you can go home. But I'm staying," I said and turned to him, "But hey...you might miss out on the opportunity to hook up with a college chick,"

This seemed to get his attention and he sighed before giving in, walking up to the house with me. I smiled in success. Alright, so what is my game plan? I guess I didn't really have one other than to find Vic and get into his head so he'll give into me. It shouldn't be that difficult. I know I'm close.

I opened the front door and no one so much as glanced at us. There looked to be a lot of people throughout the house so I didn't think we'd get noticed by anyone as being high school students. The music was kind of awful, but I didn't care. I wasn't here for the music. Mike and I walked through the hallway until we got to a big, open area. It was a living room but the furniture had been pushed back, making room for the mass of bodies to dance. I scanned the room for Vic, but didn't see him, so I turned and headed to where most other people would be; outside. Mike followed me like a little puppy.

"Dude the girls here are hot," he said.

"You should go and talk to them," I said.

"Yeah, maybe later," he said. We went through the back sliding doors to where there were a lot more people than inside. There was also a pool.

"Uh oh," Mike said from next to me. I looked at him to see he had a worried expression on his face. I followed his gaze past me and saw Vic storming up to us. God he looked so hot. He was wearing black jeans and a white button up shirt; something he would regularly wear at school, only now he wasn't wearing a tie with it. I gave a friendly smile.

"Oh hey, Vic. What a coincidence seeing you here," I said when he approached us.

"What are you two doing here?" he asked, sounding aggravated.

"Chill out, dude. We were bored so we decided a party might be fun. You aren't the only one allowed to have fun, you know," I said.

"Both of you go home, now," he said sternly. I frowned and looked at Mike who looked like he was ready to obey his brother's wishes.

"What's the harm in us being here? I promise you Mike here will stay out of trouble and not drink anything," I reassured him.

"I won't. Promise," Mike confirmed. Vic looked back and forth between the two of us.

"No, go home, now," he said adamantly. I sighed and looked at Mike.

"Well Mike, you heard him, I guess you'd better go," I said. 1

"You too," Vic said. I looked back with a cheeky grin.

"Hm, I don't think so. You may be his guardian, but I'm allowed to do what I want," I said.

"I'll call your parents," he shot back. I rolled my eyes. Right, like they would really care

"Can you just not be an adult for once? Loosen up a little and just stop thinking. Be cool," I said. He didn't seem to be letting up any time soon but then Mike spoke again.

"Please, Vic. I never get to come to things like this. You never let me. I'll be good," Mike assured him. Both of us looked at Vic, giving our best, pleading eyes. Eventually he sighed and pointed to Mike.

"If I see you anywhere near alcohol I'll take you home myself," he said, then pointed at me, "And you...just...behave,"

"You're not my teacher here, Vic. Here I am your equal," I said. He just rolled his eyes. He needed to chill out and stop going into his normal parent/teacher mode.

"I'm just gonna leave you guys to it," Mike said a little awkwardly. I was just reminded of the conversation we had earlier about my crush on Vic. I guess I didn't really do anything to hide it.

"Be good!" Vic called after him, and then the two of us were left alone.

"I'm gonna get a drink," I said to break the ice. I smiled in Victory after winning the little argument with him, then turned back to the house. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him follow after me. In determination I went back inside and found the kitchen. It was quieter in here, and empty. There were a lot of bottles of random alcohol on the counter though.

"You are not drinking alcohol," Vic said. I turned to him, getting annoyed now.

"We aren't in school anymore. Stop treating me like a kid," I snapped. It was just getting really frustrating because I actually liked him but he just saw me as a student. I hated that. I'd have him thinking differently by the end of the night though.

"You are a kid," he said.

"Yeah, well this kid can hold their liquor, probably better than you can," I said.

"Oh, I highly doubt that," he said.

"Is that a challenge?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, just a fact," he said cockily. Right, we'll see about that. I turned back to the alcohol and found a shot glass. I picked up a bottle of tequila and poured it in before turning back to Vic, looking straight at him. I put the shot glass to my lips, and after him not protesting, I drank it, letting the liquid slip easily down my throat. I licked my lips slowly.

"Delicious," I said with a flirtatious smile. He didn't say anything, so I poured another, and drank that one too.

"Maybe you should slow down," he said. I rolled my eyes. Wow, it was only two shots. I don't know why he cares so much anyway. I did however like how he was still hanging around me. He could have gone off with Mike to make sure he was okay, but instead he was here.

"How much have you had to drink?" I asked.

"A few beers," he said. I sniggered at that. Beers just won't do.

"Why don't you drink something actually worthwhile?" I questioned. I picked up the tequila and poured him a shot. I stepped towards him and held the glass up to his lips. He hesitated, but then he took it and drank it.

"See, good, isn't it?" I asked. I drank straight from the bottle, and he took it from me.

"Come on, slow-..." He stopped himself mid-sentence, and then something changed. It was like he just gave up on the lecture he was about to give and instead said, "Share."

I gave a curious look and he smiled before drinking some from the bottle. Well, looks like someone has decided to be fun.

"You're a bad influence," he said.

"But at least I'm fun," I said. I bit my lip before turning back to the alcohol. I mixed myself a drink of vodka and orange juice before leaving Vic and looking for Mike, just to check up on him. I found him on the dance floor holding a beer, that idiot.

"Are you trying to get kicked out of here?" I asked and took the beer from him. He just scowled at me, but quickly went back to the girl he was pursuing. I looked towards the kitchen door and saw Vic walk out. I guess I'd leave him alone now; give him a chance to miss me.

—-

It was nearing midnight and I was proud to say that I was still standing on two feet even though I had probably drunken more than my own weight in alcohol. Okay maybe that's an over-exaggeration. I managed to make a couple of friends here at the party. I had mingled with some people while keeping my distance from Vic for now. Mike had left a little while ago with some girl, but promised me not to tell Vic. As far as Vic knew, Mike had simply gone home.

Speaking of Vic, I saw him stumble towards a couch and sit down next to his friend who I learnt was named Jackson. I walked towards Vic. This would be the first time since we talked in the kitchen that I would have talked to him. I was drunk, I knew that. My head was spinning, my body felt kind of numb, but more than anything I was feeling really playful and more flirtatious than usual.

"Is this seat taken?" I asked when I got to Vic and didn't wait for an answer before sitting on his lap. It felt really good being this close to him. He didn't even push me away, instead he wrapped an arm around my waist and continued talking to his friend. I had been giving him my usual seductive glances all night, and at first he would look away uncomfortably, but as the night went on his eyes lingered on me for a little longer, then eventually he would smile whenever he caught my gaze.

No one here knew that I was Vic's student, which is what made it okay for me to do this, well sort of okay. It was still wrong, but I didn't care. I was feeling a little dizzy, so I rested my head against Vic's shoulder. He barely paid attention to me, but I didn't really care. I was getting what I wanted. He was slowly giving in, even though it was just because he was drunk and didn't know any better.

I felt so relaxed next to him. I wonder just how drunk he was. Judging by his slurs; very. After a little while I decided I wanted to get him alone, so I got up and didn't say a word as I walked off towards the kitchen. I just wanted to see if he would follow. I stopped at the counter and found a glass, then went about mixing a drink. Seconds later he was next to me with one arm around my back, his hand resting on my hip.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" he asked. I glance up at him and bit my bottom lip. I shook my head.

"Of course not," I said innocently, "I'm just making a drink,"

"Oh," he said, "What are you making?" he moved closer, his face very close to mine and his arm wrapped more securely around me.

"I don't know. My own invention," I said, mixing a blue with a red substance, making it a purple.

"Oh, how clever," he muttered. His hot breath against my neck was starting to work me up a bit. There was nothing about this situation that wasn't hot. He was my teacher. Being this close to him was forbidden, and I loved that. I really wanted him. I was so focused on getting him, it was borderline obsession. I felt his lips brush against my sensitive skin and a shiver ran down my spine.

I officially had him right where I wanted. I turned in his arms. Straight away his eyes went to my lips, letting me know exactly what he was thinking. Perfect. My lips were a mere centimeter away from his, but I wanted to be well and truly alone with him. Plus, I wanted him to be the one to kiss me so he won't turn around and say this was all my fault in the morning, but right now he wasn't making a move. He was starting to think too much. I turned my head, stopping the little moment then looked back at him. I took hold of his wrists and pushed them away from me.

"I'll be upstairs," I said and moved away, "If you're interested..."

I gave him a lingering look, then turned and went back out to the party. I headed to the stairs and walked up them, trying not to slip and fall on the way. I wasn't feeling too great with this much alcohol in me. I'd be really feeling it tomorrow, but right now I wasn't too worried about what tomorrow would bring.

When I got upstairs I checked a couple of rooms and found an empty one which was pretty bare so I figured it was probably a guest bedroom. I looked back down the hall and saw Vic get to the top of the stairs. Good, he's going to join me. He licked his lips, smiled, then came towards me.

"I found an empty room," I said suggestively. He didn't say anything. He just grabbed my shirt and pulled me into the room, shutting the door behind us. He smiled, holding me close. He gently pushed me towards a wall, letting my back hit against it. His face moved closer, and I thought to myself that this was it, I was finally getting what I wanted, but then he stopped. So much frustration boiled up in me.

"I wanna kiss you, I do...but I'm not gonna," he said, his voice holding a sense of light-heartedness. I smiled at the admission.

"You aren't? Are you sure about that?" I asked. I put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He nodded, his lips very lightly grazing against mine.

"Mhm...I'm sure...it's illegal...but I think about doing it too much," he said. Another surprise. Well, not really a surprise considering I knew all along he had a thing for me too.

"You do?" I asked.

"All the time," he said and pressed his body closer against mine. "But I can't kiss you..."

"Well...we don't have to kiss at all," I said.

"We don't?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nope,"

"So what do we do then?" he asked. He was swaying slightly in his drunken state. My eyes traveled down to his chest where the buttons to his shirt were securely intact. Not for much longer. I brought my hands up and undid one, then another.

"I'm sure we can figure something out," I said seductively. I undid all the buttons on his shirt and he did nothing to stop me. It was when I attempted to undo his jeans that he grabbed my wrists. I looked back up, smiling teasingly.

"Problem?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, his voice going a little deeper, "You are a big problem."

He then leaned in and kissed my neck. My body felt like it had just lit up. He lightly bit on my collarbone. This was perfect. I felt like I actually needed him. Not just wanted, but needed. His kisses went up my neck to my jaw line, then closer and closer to my lips, but not yet touching them. I craved it. Butterflies were stirring in my stomach, but then I realized something. They weren't exactly butterflies. My stomach, which was filled with only alcohol, churned, and so I pushed him away, quickly opening the door and running across to the bathroom. I collapsed to my knees in front of the toilet right before I emptied the contents of my stomach.

"Kellin, you okay?" Vic's voice came from the doorway. I pointed at him, not willing to look up because this was embarrassing as fuck.

"Leave me alone. I swear to god if you see me like this I'll kill you. Go away!" I said adamantly. I didn't hear his voice again as I threw up. I felt like absolute shit. I guess this answered the question of who can hold their alcohol better. I wanted to smash my head against a wall now. I just missed my opportunity with Vic! I was more preoccupied with how horrid I felt right now though.

I was sick until I couldn't possibly be sick anymore. There was nothing else left. I stood up, feeling weak. I flushed the toilet and went to the basin. I cleaned myself up and found some mouthwash which I thoroughly cleansed my mouth with, not that it'd matter much anyway because surely Vic wouldn't want me after that.

Once I was back to normal, or at least the drunken state of normal, I left the bathroom and went back across the hall to the bedroom. Vic was still in there, only he was laying on the bed with his eyes closed, most likely asleep. I sighed in defeat. I should have just gone home and pretended that this never happened, but Mike was with a girl so I knew he wouldn't want me interrupting them, so instead I shut the door and went over to the bed, lying next to Vic, feeling drowsy in an instant.

So I didn't get a kiss from Vic, or anything more, but I got to fall asleep next to him which was good enough for me. I let a wicked smile slip onto my lips as I thought about how much he was going to freak out in the morning. This was going to be hilarious.

Chapter Text

You know that moment when you wake up and the only thing you want to do is fall back asleep for another few hours? It doesn't matter how long you've slept for; you just feel exhausted, or in my case, hung over. I was warm and comfortable though, feeling secure. I was quick to remember that I fell asleep next to Vic last night. His arm was draped loosely across my stomach and the blanket was over us. I don't remember putting it on us, but I was pretty drunk last night so who knows if I did or not.

I rolled towards Vic and cuddled close to him. This was wrong, I knew that, but I was going to savor this moment before he inevitably woke up. Despite how much I might tease him or act as though everything is a joke, I really do like him. I felt content in this very moment being with him, even if he had no idea that it was me in bed with him.

He stirred in his sleep. Uh oh. I should have stayed still. I cringed, waiting for his reaction and he didn't disappoint. He groaned, shuffled around a little and two seconds later he leapt out of bed, tripped over the sheets and landed on the floor with a thud. I sat up, looking down at his horrified expression with an amused one of my own.

"What are you-? What did we-? I-" he stopped and looked down at his fully clothed body then at my own. He was silent for a moment before he sighed in relief.

"Oh, right....um, y-you were sick, and nothing happened. It's okay, nothing happened," he said like he was trying to convince himself. I was a bad person. A horrible, mean, evil, bad person. Why? Because I decided to play a little trick on him.

"Nothing happened?" I acted offended, "Vic...we made love and you don't remember?!

His eyes widened and he quickly scrambled up from the floor. He looked around the room as if he was desperately trying to remember what happened in here last night. I just kept a straight face.

"W-what? No, no that's not right. I mean...we came up here and you went to be sick and then...and then..." He trailed off, trying to remember.

"Wow, Vic. I lost my virginity to you and you forgot," I said, faking my anger.

"Y-your virginity?" he asked in shock, "Oh fuck..." I couldn't handle it anymore. My charade faltered and I ended up falling back onto the bed and letting laughter roll out of my mouth.

"You should have seen the look on your face. Oh my God I can't believe you bought that," I said through my laughter. Looked at him I noticed his confused face, and then he looked pissed.

"You're an asshole," he said. I nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I am," I said, still laughing.

"Stop laughing! I can't believe you just did that to me," he said. I bit my lip and smiled sweetly.

"You have to admit it was kind of funny," I said. I shook his head and huffed dramatically.

"Not funny," he muttered. He paced around the room looking panicked. I guess that would be a normal reaction when you wake up in bed with your student. I just lay there, watching the show.

"Okay... nothing happened, right?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Well, we almost kissed. But other than that, no, nothing happened," I confirmed. Yet. Nothing happened, yet. I wouldn't let my little mishap from last night stop me from getting what I want.

"Right..." He said quietly. He stopped walking around and looked down at me. I sat up, sitting cross-legged on the bed, waiting for his wave of damage control.

"Look... I shouldn't have, you know...I mean, I was drunk and I wasn't thinking," he stuttered out.

"Blah, blah, blah. You're sorry and regretful, I get it. But save it. I know the truth, Vic," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"It was pretty obvious last night. You have a thing for me," I said with a knowing smile. He sighed, shaking his head.

"No, I-"

"Don't deny it. You can't deny it, especially after last night," I said. I mean, really. He can't get that close and almost kiss me and still deny that there's something going on between us. He looked so defeated.

"Okay," he sighed, "I admit, there is a certain level of attraction I feel towards you and I've found myself paying more attention and caring about you more than any other student. But it can't happen, Kellin. At the end of the day I'm your teacher. It's illegal and wrong. No matter how I, or you, feel, we have to push it down. We have to stop that,"

That was it. That was the admission that I wanted. I knew it wasn't just a figment of my imagination. I felt satisfied after he finally admitted it.

"Or...you could forget about the rules and do what you want. No one has to know," I suggested.

"No, Kellin," he said in frustration, "This has to stop now before it begins. Last night was too close. I let my guard down and you...well you're very...persistent. But no...and that's final," he said.

Kellin Quinn doesn't just give up that easily though. I was happy with this new development, so I decided to stop while I was ahead. I got off the bed and went to the door, walking past him.

"Okay, I guess I'll just be going home then," I said.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," he agreed.

"Alright, well...see you on Monday, for the biology field trip, right? What was that all about again? Camping...tents...moonlight...campfire...sounds romantic," I teased suggestively.

"Kellin," he warned. I just smiled mischievously, "See you then, Teach," I said and walked out of the room.

—-

"It was so close to happening, Tay. If I hadn't had gotten sick then it would have been on like donkey kong," I told Tay on Monday morning.

"You're such a loser sometimes," she laughed. I shrugged.

"A loser that the teacher wants to bang," I joked.

"Eww gross," she said in mock disgust, "So...what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know yet," I shrugged, "I want something to happen during this trip but I don't know how to make it happen. It won't exactly be easy surrounded by students and Miss McDougall."

"Then lead him away from the group," she said like it was such a simple task.

"Right, and how do I do that?" I asked.

"I don't know. You're smart. You'll figure something out," she said.

Our conversation was cut short when we were joined by Alex and Mike who were holding their things. We were all standing by the bus that would take us into the depths of the woods for this excursion. We all had our backpacks which had a spare change of clothes, water, snacks and certain biology books for school. We were spending the night in tents which were already set up at the camping ground that we had to hike to.

"What are you ladies gossiping about?" Alex asked. I hit his shoulder.

"Very funny," I said sarcastically.

"Alright, alright, sorry. Lady and kind of man," he teased. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah well if you must know we were talking about how small your dick is," I said in a snarky tone. He gasped.

"Tay, you said you wouldn't tell! I am so betrayed," he said dramatically. He was such an idiot sometimes, but I was proud to say he, along with Tay, are my best friends. Mike seemed like he'd fit right in with us too.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" Miss McDougall called out to all the students. The chatter quietened down quickly. My gaze fell on Vic who was standing next to her. I gave a discreet wave and he ignored me. I love it when they play hard to get. The challenge is half the fun.

"First of all, I need you all to get into pairs. This person is who you'll be sharing a tent with when we get there. Boys with boys, girls with girls. Find a partner," she said dismissively. Everyone quickly looked around, trying to find someone. Tay walked off to one of her girl friends and I awkwardly looked at Alex and Mike.

"It's cool, I'll find someone else," Alex said and looked around. "Yo, Barakat!" And with that he was off to talk to our classmate, Jack. I smiled at Mike.

"I guess it's you and me then," I said.

"I guess so. So did you have fun at the party the other night?" he asked. I shrugged nonchalantly.

"It was okay, I guess," I said. He looked a little awkward and it led me to wonder if Vic had said anything to him.

"And, like, nothing happened with you and Vic, right?" he asked.

"No, why?" I asked.

"Oh, no reason really. He just got home on Saturday morning and was acting really weird," he said.

"Weird how?" I asked, my curiosity was peaked.

"I don't know...it was like he was hiding something," he said with a suspicious edge to his voice. I think he knew something had happened and was trying to get me to tell him. Technically though nothing really happened. We didn't even kiss. I just shrugged, pretending I was clueless.

"Okay, everyone onto the bus and sit with you partner," Vic said. Everyone piled onto the bus and I made sure to smile flirtatiously at Vic. He barely even looked at me though. I went to the back of the bus and pulled Mike with me. It was going to be a long trip and unfortunately Vic sat up the front next to Miss McDougall.

I had been to the forest, or woods, that we were going to many times before. My dad used to take me, my brother and my sister here a lot when we were younger. I practically knew all the trails like the back of my hand. It'd be weird going back without my family, but I guess I didn't care that much. The place was about two hours away. The bus ride was spent mostly talking to Mike, plus Alex and Jack who were sitting in front of us. Other than that I tuned out and listened to my iPod.

When we got there everyone got out of the bus and we stood around for a while, while people used the nearby bathrooms. This was more of a conservation park rather than the wild like a lot of people thought. There were trails; some that lead up to the mountains, some that lead to camping grounds which I guessed was where we were heading, and some that lead to more secluded areas. My dad would always take my siblings and I to the waterfalls. They had always been my favorite place.

"Alright, gather around," Vic got our attention. There were about 40 students here from the two senior biology classes and we all congregated around Vic and Miss McDougall.

"We have a long hike ahead of us and should reach the camping grounds come sundown. I urge you all to stay hydrated and behave. No wandering off from the group. Stick with your partner. Miss McDougall and I gave you worksheets last week. You must identify the flora listed and answer the questions on the way. Is that understood?" Vic asked. There was a resounding 'yes' spoken as everyone, including me, got our notebooks out of our bags.

"I'll lead the way. Everyone follow after me," Miss McDougall said. She flipped her blonde hair and headed towards one of the tracks.

I sighed. I wasn't really the type of person who enjoyed exercise like this. Alex, Jack, Tay, her friend Sierra, Mike and myself hung back to walk at the back of the group. I had done it on purpose because I knew that if Miss McDougall was at the front then Vic would be at the back. He looked like one of us students today. He was dressed more casually in a t-shirt and long shorts. He looked cute.

"Hurry up, you guys. Don't make me give you detentions when we get back to school," Vic threatened. The others rushed up ahead and I fell into step next to Vic.

"Long time no see," I said with a smile.

"Yeah," he said simply.

"So, did you have a good weekend?" I asked.

"Kellin, don't start," he said, already sensing that I was going to flirt with him, which essentially, I was going to.

"Oh come on, there's nothing wrong with simply talking to my teacher," I said. He wasn't dealing with any of my nonsense today though.

"Please join your classmates," he said in a low tone and pointed towards the group. He really is no fun today.

"Fine, but I know you only want me to go up ahead so you can check out my ass," I teased. I smiled cockily and walked a little faster to catch up to the others. I looked behind me at Vic who had looked down at my butt but quickly looked away. I was getting into his head again.

The day dragged on. I mostly goofed around with Alex. We'd probably just copy Tay's work later on. Vic kept scolding us, but that didn't stop me from being such a pest. By the time the day reached the afternoon I was hot, and not in a good way. The sun was harsh today, which was weird because it usually wasn't, but today it definitely was. I was sweating which was no fun at all. Most students had begun complaining by now. We still had a couple of hours to go though.

I still wanted to get Vic alone and I was trying to figure out how. I was thinking too much about how to do it without getting into trouble, then I remembered I didn't care whether I got into trouble or not. It was when we crossed a certain path that I got my idea. The trail we walked by was one that leads to a beautiful waterfall. I was going to get Vic to come with me to it. I set my plan into motion and stopped walking. I knelt on the ground and untied my shoelace so I could do it back up again.

"Hurry up, Kellin, or we'll lose the group," Vic said, stopping at my side.

"Just a minute," I said, going extra slow. He stood there, sighing impatiently. I looked ahead to the group who were now way out ahead of us. I grinned and stood up, then without a word to Vic walked in the opposite direction.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked, following after me.

"Somewhere fun," I said.

"Seriously, this isn't funny. We have to get back to the group," he said.

"We'll catch up later," I said.

"No, we won't. I don't know the way," he said.

"I do," I told him.

"You do?" he asked. He caught up to me and walked by my side. I looked at him and nodded.

"Yeah, I do," I said and kept walking. He didn't seem very happy with me right now, but I wouldn't give up.

"Kellin, I am your teacher which means that right now you have to do what I say, and I say to turn around and get back on track with the rest of the class or I'll give you detentions for a month," he said.

"Hm...nah, I want to go this way," I said, ignoring his stupid threat. I usually spent most of my school year in detention anyway, so a few more wouldn't hurt.

"Where are you going?" he asked. I could hear the rushing of water and knew we were getting close.

"I told you. Somewhere fun," I said.

"This isn't fun," he said.

"It's a lot more fun than writing out descriptions of a fucking plant," I said. He latched onto my wrist and stopped me from walking. I turned to his annoyed looking expression.

"We're going back," he said firmly.

"Don't manhandle me unless you mean it," I teased with a wink. He let go of me quickly and I simply laughed quietly before continuing on. There was just a little more left to walk. I went off the track and through some trees and shrubs with Vic still following. He kept asking if I knew where I was going and I didn't answer. The water was getting louder and then we came out into an opening.

"Holy shit," Vic said in surprise. The view was amazing from up here. It was on the edge of a cliff and you could see forest for miles.

"Nice, huh?" I asked. I looked at him but he was mesmerized by the magnificent view. I walked off again along the cliff edge, getting lower in altitude so I could get to the lower point of the waterfall.

"Hey wait, where are you going now?" he asked.

"You'll see," I said. He followed me down further to the rocks which were getting wetter and wetter. I found the stream of water and followed it along until I got to the top of the waterfall. It wasn't very far down; maybe the height of a two story house.

"How did you know this was here?" he asked as he looked out over the edge. The bottom of the waterfall, to the untrained eye looked like a large, but shallow rock pool, but I knew from personal experience that it was actually really deep.

"Just do," I said. I took my backpack off and put my notebook back in it. I dropped it on the dry ground and took my shirt off.

"What are you doing?" he asked quickly in alarm.

"What does it look like?" I asked. I dropped my shirt took and kicked my shoes off.

"You are not jumping down there," he said adamantly.

"Wanna make a bet?" I said.

"Seriously, Kellin, don't. You could really hurt yourself," he said. I shrugged.

"Maybe so, but it'll be fun on the way down," I said. I hooked my fingers under my pants and pushed them down, leaving myself in my boxers. I looked at Vic whose gaze left me quickly. He seemed really nervous. I went over to the edge of the waterfall where water was rushing over my feet.

"Kellin, don't!" he shouted. I ignored him.

"Hm, front flip or back flip?" I questioned him. He didn't answer, just looked horrified that I was going to do this. He came towards me to try and stop what I was doing, but I wouldn't let him.

"I think back flip," I said and just before he got to me I flung myself off the edge. Two seconds later and I was plunging into the cool, refreshing water. That was exactly what I needed. I swam back up, emerging at the surface and looked up at Vic.

"Your turn," I called up at him.

"No way! I can't believe you just did that," he called back.

"I've done this a million times before. It's not dangerous. Trust me, jump in," I urged him. I couldn't see his expression from this far away but he was probably looking at me like I was crazy.

"No, come back up here, now," he ordered. I waded back a bit in the water, letting my body glide through it gracefully.

"The nearest road from here is about two miles that way," I pointed behind me, "So either you jump, or I walk and hitch-hike back into town."

The threat was completely fake, but he didn't have to know that. He probably thinks I'm crazy enough to do it too.

"No, get back up here," he said. I didn't say anything, just stayed in the cool water, enjoying the afternoon. He stood up there for a few moments longer and looked around. He was probably looking for another way down, but there wasn't one, at least not one that he could see. There was a trail that would lead me back up there but I wasn't going to tell him about it.

He disappeared from my line of vision and a minute later he reappeared; now only wearing boxers. I smiled, feeling satisfied that I won.

"I hate you," he said jokingly. He moved closer to the edge and then he jumped, falling down the waterfall and landing with a splash. He came back up and for a second he looked scared, but then he looked proud of himself for doing it.

"See, that wasn't so bad," I said and splashed him. He splashed me back.

"Don't do that. Can we go back up now?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Can you please stop being a teacher for five minutes and just hang out with me?" I pleaded. I swam closer to him. I didn't realize how hot he would be covered in water droplets.

"We shouldn't," he said.

"Please," I begged and stuck out my bottom lip with a pout. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Alright, fine, five minutes and then we're gone," he said. I smiled, moving closer. I really, and I mean really, wanted to kiss him. His lips, especially wet, looked so delectable. I wanted him.

"So, what do you want to do?" I asked seductively and bit my bottom lip.

"Not what you're thinking of doing right now," he said. He put his hands on my shoulders and without warning pushed me under the water. I came back up, glaring. He actually had a smile on his face though.

"Oh, real funny," I snapped. I went towards him and he turned, swimming away. I jumped on his back, clinging on like a koala. He didn't go under though and I didn't get off him.

"See, this is fun," I said, and sneakily kissed his neck.

"Kellin..." He whined.

"What?" I whispered into his ear, "Does this bother you?" I kissed right behind his ear and saw the goosebumps break out on his skin.

"Yes, it does," he said. I slipped off his back and moved around in front of him.

"I like it when you're being fun Vic. Don't be so serious for once," I said. I moved closer and slid my hands up his chest, to his shoulders. He didn't swim away. I wrapped my legs around him and he sighed.

"You're trouble, Kellin Quinn," he said, but he didn't push me away.

"I know, but admit it...you love it," I said. He didn't answer. He rested his hands on my hips instead, earning a surprised look from me. He probably wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. We looked at each other for a few moments. His eyes flicked down to my lips.

"Kiss me if you want. I won't tell anyone," I said.

He looked pained. I knew this was difficult for him. I just wanted him to relax and stop thinking so much. There was no harm in kissing me. I wanted it, he wanted it, so why not do it? His lips came closer to mine and he really looked like he was actually going to do it. I held my breath, waiting in anticipation, but then he sighed and moved his face to the side. He pulled me close and brought his lips to my ear.

"You have no idea what you're doing to me right now," he said. He sounded frustrated, and I felt the same. He let go of me and swam away.

"We should go," he said, and I didn't fight him on it this time. I got out of the water and mostly in silence led him to the track that would take us back up.

I really wanted him to initiate the kiss, I really did, just so he wouldn't blame me later for starting it. But I've had enough of the teasing. I wanted his lips against mine more than I've ever wanted anything. The next time I get the chance I'm just going to do it. I'll make him give into me.

Chapter Text

"Where have you two been," Miss McDougall asked in a scolding voice. It was far past sundown now and Vic and I had just gotten back from our little detour. Miss McDougall looked down right pissed off. I looked to Vic. He was at a loss for words.

"I walked off," I said casually.

"You walked off?" she questioned.

"Yeah, I was bored, so I made my own fun. Vic followed me to get me to come back with him, but what can I say? I'm a stubborn person," I said.

"We were about to send out a search party for you, and we would have sooner if it weren't for your friends saying that you were just up to mischief, which evidently you were! You have a week of detention and aren't allowed to leave the side of either Mr. Fuentes or myself, except for when you're sleeping, until we get back to school," her anger practically radiated off her as she spoke. I just stood there with a cocky grin on my face. If she thinks that making me stay close to Vic is punishment then she has another thing coming.

"Okay, chill," I said.

"Showers, now," she said firmly.

I hesitated, just to bother her, before walking off. This campsite was fairly big. With 40 students and two to each tent that meant there were 20 tents, plus two others for Vic and Miss McDougall. There were a few separate fires with different groups of students huddled around them since it was getting quite cold now. Off to the side there were bathrooms, which was where I was heading. I looked behind me and saw Vic talking to Miss McDougall. He looked up at me, then back at her. She was really bossy and I guess she was bossing him around too because she had a mean look on her face before she pointed in my direction. Vic then followed after me.

I continued walking into the male bathrooms. They had everything we needed already in here off to the side; which was just towels and soap. There were two areas you could shower in; out in the open, or in cubicles. When Vic joined me I turned and smiled.

"Wanna share a shower to save water?" I asked teasingly. He didn't say anything, and he didn't look annoyed. He simply picked up a few things and walked off to a cubicle, shutting, and most likely locking the door behind him. I rolled my eyes and set my bag down on one of the benches. I took my clothes off and went to one of the open showers, turning it on and standing under the warm water.

Being a teenage boy and knowing that my crush was naked behind a door just a few feet away had my hormones on high alert. I've never in my life wanted anyone so badly before. Usually when I want someone my thoughts go straight to fucking, but now all I wanted was for him to kiss me and I'd be truly satisfied.

"Do you want some company in there?" I asked hopefully.

"Shut up, Kellin," he said.

I sighed in frustration and continued my shower. I finished up quickly, quicker than Vic. I think he was waiting for me though so he wouldn't walk out and see me naked. I got dried and dressed in sweatpants and a shirt. Vic's shower turned off a little while after mine did. I picked up my bag and waited for him by the exit.

"Are you dressed?" he called out.

"Unfortunately, yes," I said. His door opened and he walked out, wearing basically the same as I was. He threw his towel to where all the other used ones were and came towards me. I side-stepped, blocking him from leaving.

"Don't start this again. Just move and let's join the others," he said.

"I don't want to join the others. I like being here with you," I said. For good measure I reached out and touched his hand. He looked down at it, but didn't move it away, so I laced my fingers with his. He sighed and looked up again.

"All I want is a kiss," I said softly. I took a step closer. He didn't move.

"Why?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows. That was different to the usual rejection.

"Because I like you and I want to," I said. His fingers started playing with mine. I would give anything to know what was going through his head. He wasn't moving though, so I knew I'd have to it, and I would have too if we weren't interrupted.

"Vic?" Mike's voice came from outside. Vic dropped his hand quickly and took a step away. I turned just as Mike showed up in the doorway. I sent him an annoyed look.

"Oh, there you two are. Dude, where the fuck did you go? You had me all worried and shit," Mike said to Vic.

"I was following him because he walked off," Vic explained. His tone was dull, like he didn't want to talk to Mike, or maybe anyone for that matter.

"Oh okay, well come over to the fire. We're telling horror stories," Mike said in excitement. He gestured for us to follow and we did, back out through the tents and towards one of the fires. I wonder what tent is Vic's, because there's no doubt he'll be getting a visit from me if I can sneak out without anyone noticing.

"So, which tent is yours?" I asked him curiously.

"Don't even think about it," he said quickly.

"Think about what? I wasn't thinking about anything," I said with an innocent smile. He rolled his eyes and walked on ahead of me with Mike. We got to one of the fires. Surrounding it, sitting on long logs, was Alex, his partner Jack, Tay, her partner Hayley, plus other students Jaime and Tony. Mike sat down next to Hayley. Vic sat in a spare spot next to Mike and I, of course, sat next to him, with Alex on my other side. Jaime and Tony were straight across from us. Vic gave an annoyed look.

"What? You heard Miss McDougall. I can't leave your side," I reminded him. He looked away, facing the rest of the group.

"So I hear you're telling horror stories?" Vic asked, using his teacher voice. The others looked a bit uncomfortable that a teacher was with us, but soon everyone relaxed when Vic himself even joined in and told a horror story. We all had dinner too; simple hot dogs, then went back to the story telling. I stayed quiet for most of the night because as much as I act tough sometimes, I actually get kind of scared with stories like these, especially the ones told by Tony.

"And then...the girl felt like someone was standing right behind her. In fact she could feel their breath on her neck. Fear coursed through her veins. Every morsel in her body told her to run, but she was frozen in place. Slowly sense came back to her and she turned. Standing there before her was her murderous father who she thought died years ago. It was him torturing them all along. And then BAM!" Tony shouted at the end, making me jump.

My hand went straight to Vic's, gripping it tightly. My heart was racing because of that stupid fucking story. When I realized I was holding his hand I looked at him, and he looked around at the others. No one was looking at us. Everyone was focused on Tony. Vic surprised me by turning his hand around and holding mine properly. He moved them down in between us though so no one would notice. Wow, he was actually holding my hand. Whether it was to comfort me or because he actually wanted to, I don't know. I smiled and looked back to Tony.

"He stabbed her over and over again. The girl fell to her knees, eventually dying of blood loss. A few days later the police found all the bodies and her dad had escaped without a trace," Tony finished.

"Dude, that was fucked up," Alex said.

"Language," Vic said, being the teacher he was.

"Sorry, sir," Alex said.

"How about we have some happy stories now?" Tay suggested. She was clinging onto Alex like he was her life support.

For the rest of the night the group talked about random things, telling fun stories instead of the horror ones, which I was thankful for. Vic tried to take his hand away from me, but I held it tighter and he gave up. We sat there, interacting with the group like normal, yet none of them were aware that our fingers were playing with each other's, or that his thumb kept lightly brushing over mine. He was slowly, but surely, giving in to my charms.

"It's 10 o'clock, everyone to their tents. You all need a good night's sleep because we'll be hiking back to the buses first thing in the morning," Miss McDougall said loud enough for all to hear. She came towards Vic and he quickly let go of my hand.

"Vic, hey. So the kids will probably try to play up tonight so I was thinking you could stay up for an extra hour to make sure nothing goes on, and I'll wake up an hour earlier in case we have any early birds, yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah sure. I'll just go back to my tent and read for an hour," Vic agreed.

"Super. See you in the morning," she said and walked away.

"Stay up and read? Wow, nerd alert," I teased. He ignored me and stood up, as did the others.

"How do we know whose tent is whose?" I asked no one in particular.

"Our names are tagged to them," Mike told me, "Ours is over there," he pointed over at one of the tents. It looked like the male and female tents were on different sides of the campsite.

"Hey Vic, yours is that one," Mike told him. I looked to where he was pointing. Vic's was three down from ours. I grinned at Vic.

"Ours are kind of close," I said quietly.

"Yes, they are," he said bluntly, then walked away. God damn it, he holds my hand and then he acts all cold towards me again. This would be so much easier if he didn't have a damn conscience.

"Okay guys, into your tents," Vic said, rounding up the guys.

The few that were goofing off stopped and did what they were told. I followed Mike over to our tent and we both crawled in. It was a little spacious, just enough room for the two of us plus a gap in between so it wouldn't be awkward. Thankfully Mike seemed really cool and laid back so he wasn't fazed by having to share with a gay guy.

I let my head hit the pillow and pulled the sleeping bag over me. I didn't bother getting inside it properly since I wasn't going to be in here for long. I was determined to go and see Vic. I was practically obsessed with being around him. He was just too attractive and we had been flirting, or at least I had been flirting, all day and it was building up a lot of tension.

"Night, Kellin," Mike said, sounding tired already.

"Yeah, goodnight," I said back. I lay there, and although I was a little exhausted from the activities of the day, I wouldn't let myself fall asleep. Slowly all the chatter from the surrounding tents ceased and I heard Mike's breathing even out. I took my phone out of my bag and looked at it. Half an hour had passed. I'd wait just a little longer before going out.

Soon I could hear nothing. No guys saying stupid comments to each other, and I couldn't hear anything from the girls either. I sat up and looked over at Mike. He was fast asleep. I pushed my sleeping bag away and went over to the way out. I slowly pulled the zip of the tent up, trying not to make a sound. I poked my head out and looked around. There were no signs of life. The fires were still flickering away, although they were all almost out. They left an illuminating glow so I could see properly. I crawled out of the tent and tip-toed over to Vic's. There was a light coming from his. I bent down to the zip and looked around. After seeing no one I pulled it up. Vic shined a flashlight at me. I squinted at the blinding light.

"No need to blind me," I whispered.

"Kellin? Go back to your own tent," he whispered, but I merely smiled and snuck inside. He was sitting there cross-legged with a book in his hand.

"No, I like it here better," I said quietly. I was done with waiting for him to make a move. I'm going to get what I want. I crept over to him slowly and took the book from his hands.

"You won't be needing this," I whispered, closing it and putting it to the side, "Or this," I took the flashlight and turned it off. I could barely see him in the glow from the fires. I crawled on top of him, straddling him.

"You can't be here," he scolded.

"Yet here I am," I said with a shrug. I placed my hands on his shoulders. He sighed, looking exhausted. I ignored his protests though. He didn't exactly try very hard to push me away.

"So...we're in a tent, alone...in the middle of the night...what do you wanna do?" I asked with a seductive edge to my voice.

"You should go," he said.

"I didn't ask what I should do. I want to know what you want to do," I said. I played with his hair and relaxed my body closer to his. He looked at me in a way that let me know he was desperately trying to restrain himself.

"Kellin...go," he said, less convincingly.

"Aww, sweet Vic. You try and be such a good, responsible person, but I know deep...deep down is a bad boy who is just waiting to get out," I said, moving my lips closer to his. His breathing faltered and he didn't move away.

"Let him out, Vic," I whispered.

My lips brushed against his and he turned his head, but that didn't stop me. I kissed his neck and he exhaled deeply. My lips grazed up the length of his neck to his jaw. I lightly nipped on it, then kissed the spot. His hands went to my hips and for a moment I thought he'd push me away, but he didn't. I kissed his cheek lightly, getting so close. He turned his head back towards me slightly. Our noses touched and our lips hovered over the others. It was getting really hot in here and I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed him onto his back and pressed my lips against his.

Electricity and tingles shot through my body at the contact. His lips, like I imagined, were so soft and fit perfectly with mine. I was getting sappy, but that was quickly pushed away with the sudden lust I felt for him. I moved my lips against his, capturing his bottom one. He was hesitating, but soon he was kissing me back. I felt accomplished. I had finally succeeded in seducing him. I slipped my tongue in his mouth and he made the cutest moaning sound. He was a really, really good kisser. I wondered if he realized he was kissing a student though. I found it so much hotter knowing I was making out with someone that I shouldn't be.

I was a tease, really, I was, and so I pulled back and smiled down at him. We were both breathing heavily. He looked a little shocked. His eyes kept flicking down to my lips and I knew he wanted more. I would leave him wanting more though. I can't give him everything he wants so quickly. I have to leave him frustrated so he'll come back for me.

"Goodnight, Vic," I said and crawled off of him.

I headed back towards the way out, but he sat up and grabbed my arm. I looked back at him curiously. He had a contemplative look in his eyes before he brought his hand up to my face. He brushed his thumb across my cheek, leant in and kissed me. I felt butterflies implode in my stomach, more butterflies than when I had kissed him. My heart was going crazy simply because he had initiated it. I wondered if this is how he felt when I kissed him just then. I haven't ever felt this way before. His lips left mine, leaving a lingering feeling. He looked at me and dropped his hand.

"Goodnight, Kellin," he said simply. I was at a loss for words now. I had been caught off guard. I felt like I had been a victim of my own game, but that had felt so good. All I did was nod and leave his tent.

—-

I didn't get much sleep that night. Other than the fact that I couldn't get Vic or the kisses out of my head; I was suffering from insomnia. Some nights were really good and I could sleep through, but others had me up all night. Plus, Mike's a snorer. When Vic and Miss McDougall came to wake everyone up, I emerged from my tent like a zombie. I probably looked like total shit. I looked over at Vic, but he wasn't looking back.

"We've decided to take mercy on everyone today and had the bus drive up here. I don't see a point to walking back when you already did most of your assignments on the way here. Which, just a reminder, your completed reports are due in your next Biology class. You will be graded on them so do not forget them and remember to actually complete them," Miss McDougall said. All of her words went in through one ear and out the other. The only thing I paid attention to was the fact that I wouldn't have to hike back to the bus. I don't think I had the energy to today.

"Everyone gather your things and assemble by the bus. It's just past the bathrooms," Vic said to everyone. He looked over at me and I tried to force a smile but I was way too fucking tired. I turned back to the tent and Mike handed me my bag.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"No problem. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just tired is all," I said in a monotone. We walked over to the bus and joined up with the others. Miss McDougall sent me a glare. She really has it out for me.

"Don't think I forgot about you, mister. Your privilege of sitting next to friends on the bus has been revoked. You'll sit next to Mr. Fuentes or myself," she said. I looked at Vic who was standing nearby.

"I chose him. He's less of a bitch," I snapped. Her jaw dropped.

"Well done, you just earned yourself another week of detention," she said.

"Good for me," I said sarcastically and walked past her. I got on the bus and headed right down the back. I sat in the back corner and waited for Vic. I wondered how he would react to last night. My guess would be probably ignoring me.

After all the other students piled onto the bus, Vic came down the back. As he approached I smiled. If I wasn't mistaken I swore I saw his lips twitch into a smile. He sat down next to me.

"So, Mr. Fuentes, how was your night?" I asked knowingly. He glanced at me, not looking annoyed or distant like I thought he would.

"It was fine, yours?" he asked politely.

"It was a little hot in the tents, don't you agree?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"You're going to get me into so much trouble," he whispered.

I grinned because I had finally cracked him. I knew I would win him over eventually. Not much else was said on the rest of the way back to town. We couldn't exactly talk about what happened last night because others could hear. I ended up falling asleep on the way back too. When we got to school Vic was too busy with his teacher duties so I didn't get to talk to him then either. I just went home, knowing that I wasn't going to let him forget our little rendezvous. Tomorrow's guidance counselor session was definitely going to be interesting.

Chapter Text

I kept my little tryst with Vic a secret from Tay and Alex. Usually I would tell them something like this, but it just didn't seem right. It was a good feeling knowing that Vic was like my little secret. They knew I had a massive crush on him though.

"Give me that," I said to Alex and took the joint from his hand. I was in a good mood and this just made it better. We were sitting out on the football field getting high, something we did every now and again. I wasn't getting too high though. I just wanted a little bit of a buzz.

"Why are you in such a good mood today?" Tay asked suspiciously.

"There's a lot to be happy about, my friends. But it's not for you to know," I said.

"You fucked Mr. Fuentes, didn't you?" Alex said with a giggle.

"No," I said with a roll of my eyes. I wish though.

"What do you even see in him? He's not even hot," Alex said. He was lying in front of Tay and I who were sitting cross-legged. He was looking up at the sky dreamily.

"Are you kidding? He's fucking sexy," I argued. Alex shrugged.

"I wouldn't know. I'm not gay," he said

"You could be. I think you'd make a great gay guy," I said truthfully.

"Um, hello? His girlfriend is sitting right here," Tay said and took the joint out of my hand.

"I know, I know. I'm just saying, Alex, you seem like you could swing both ways," I said. By now I was just trying to work him up a bit. I know he loves Tay and would never look at another person; let alone another guy.

"Ha. Nope," he said.

"How do you know unless you don't try it out?" I asked. He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he said dismissively.

"You know what, I'd like to know this too," Tay said, clearly just joking. At least I had her on my side.

"What, you think I could possibly be into dudes?" Alex asked, looking at her like she was crazy.

"I don't know, you seem kind of gay," she teased.

"I wasn't kind of gay when I was pounding into you last night," he said. Tay hit his arm and I sat there in disgust.

"Eww, I didn't need to know that," I said.

"Whatever. Point is, I'm definitely not gay," he said.

"Okay, who would you turn gay for? You know, hypothetically," I asked. This conversation was so dumb, but Alex looked really uncomfortable so it was kind of funny.

"Yeah, Alex. Go on, if you had to pick a guy from school to fuck, who would it be?" Tay asked. For a girl talking about her boyfriend's sexuality, she was really casual about this.

"No one," Alex said adamantly.

"Hm...I bet you have a thing for Jack Barakat. I mean you did share a tent. Who knows what went on in there," I teased. Tay started giggling.

"Yeah, sure. Keep dreaming, buddy. I'm not into dudes," he said.

"Then I ask again; how do you know if you don't try?" I asked.

"Oh my God, Kellin, kiss him!" Tay said in an excited voice. I looked at her. She looked really out of it. She's probably had a lot of weed.

"What?" Alex said with a chuckle.

"Do it, oh my God, do it. He'll freak," Tay said like it was a game.

"Dude, no," Alex said.

"Why? Afraid you might like it?" I asked. Alex looked at me in determination. 1

"Fine. Do it then," he challenged. I was never one to back down from a challenge and since I had Tay's blessing, I lean down to Alex and kissed him. I realized something the second my lips touched his. This felt wrong, I mean really wrong. I felt like I was betraying Vic. I pulled away quickly, hiding my discomfort.

"Anything?" I asked.

"Ugh, no. That was gross," Alex said, wiping his mouth. I felt the urge to go and see Vic now. I looked at the time on my phone. It wasn't time for my meeting with him yet, but I was going to take a chance and see if he was alone.

"Well, that was fun. I've got places to be though," I said and stood up. Neither of them really paid attention to me though because Alex pulled Tay over to him to apparently, and I quote, "get the gay away," I left them to it and walked off the football field, back into the school, going towards Vic's office.

I'd like to say I knew Vic well enough to know that he'd probably freak out because of the kiss. Whenever we get close he backs off and goes rambling on and on about how I need to leave him alone. I didn't want to give him the chance to do that though. I didn't want to lose whatever we might have because he's stubborn.

When I got to his door I walked in without knocking. He looked up from a sheet of paper he was reading. He was alone. I turned, closed and locked the door, then looked back at him.

"Kellin, hey. I think we should talk about what happened..." he started, but I ignored him.

In determination, I walked over to him and sat on his lap, putting my legs on either side. I wrapped my hands around his neck and planted my lips on his. I kissed him deeply, letting him know I wouldn't go down without a fight. He slid his arms around me and kissed me back. I was sure he was going to reject me, so that's a surprise. I pulled back and looked at him.

"What were you saying?" I asked innocently. He looked a little baffled before he came back to his senses.

"Uh...I was, um, I was about to give you an option to forget about what happened that night but I guess you don't want to," he said. I smiled and shook my head slowly.

"Nope," I said and lean in. I kissed him again, soft and sweet this time.

"We really shouldn't," he breathed. He pressed his lips harder against mine, then stopped, sighing, "I-I mean really...this is really bad, Kellin,"

I knew he would take some convincing and last night I had actually done some googling about laws and came up with some good arguments for him.

"Okay, let's talk about this then because I've been thinking about it a lot," I said. I got more comfortable as his grip tightened around me. I liked this position; sitting on his lap like this.

"And?" he questioned.

"Well...I want to know why exactly you think the whole you and me thing is so wrong. Is it the age thing? Because I looked that up and the age of consent in Michigan is 16, meaning age-wise, this is legal," I pointed out. He nodded.

"Yeah, I know...I kind of looked it up a few days ago," he said sheepishly. I grinned at him. That means he must have been thinking about it a lot before we actually kissed. Not so innocent now, is he?

"Hmm, planning ahead are we?" I asked. He paused.

"Continue talking," he said, ignoring my comment.

"Right, so it's not an age thing then? I mean, it's only a 5 year difference," I said.

"Yeah, but this isn't right because an authoritative figure having a relationship with a student under 18 years old is illegal," he said.

"I think that's hot," I said flirtatiously. I went in for another kiss but he put his fingers to my lips to stop me.

"Be serious," he said. I sighed and continued on.

"Okay, so the problem is that a student/teacher relationship is illegal. Why though? I thought of two reasons. One; because people think that the poor, innocent student will be seduced and corrupted by the big, bad teacher. However, both you and I know it's the other way around," I explained.

"You have a good point," he said.

"I know. And secondly, the other reason is that you might favor me in class and raise my grades. So all you have to do is grade me fairly and that won't be a problem either," I said.

"You make it sound so simple," he said.

"That's because it is simple. I want you..." I said and pointed to his chest, "And you want me. No one will get hurt,"

"It's still illegal," he said. He was really testing my patience now.

"And so is gay marriage in so many countries but it doesn't make it wrong," I snapped, "The law was made up by a group of grumpy old men who probably weren't getting laid by their wives so they wanted to make the rest of the world miserable too. Fuck the law!"

"Calm down," he said and brought his hands up to caress my cheeks. I breathed in and out deeply. I thought I was going to snap at any second, but I just looked at Vic and felt myself calm down.

"I'm calm," I said.

"Good...now I want you to be completely serious with me for a moment. I don't want to be just some game to you. You're kind of difficult to read sometimes and you have these mood swings and I...I don't know. I just want you to acknowledge how serious this could be if someone found out," he said.

"I know, I know. I'm not stupid. I promise I won't tell anyone, not even my friends," I assured him.

"Okay," he said. He actually sounded okay with this. I was shocked, but not too shocked. It was only a matter of time before he gave into me. I just thought he'd put up more of a fight.

"So are we, like, in a relationship now?" I asked.

"Maybe..." He said. That meant yes. I smiled and kissed him. I couldn't believe that I was actually in a relationship with someone. I'm not exactly the relationship type, but I guess I am now. Vic kissed back. He seemed hesitant at first but then he got more into it. He ran his hands up and down by back before resting them on my hips. I grinded my lower half against him and trailed my hands down his chest. That's when he stopped me.

"We have to set some ground rules," he said quickly when he stopped kissing me.

"You and your rules," I said with a roll of my eyes, "Fine, what are they?"

I was too distracted for rules. I just wanted him without having to think about dumb rules. As he started talking I leaned in and kissed his neck.

"Firstly..." He stopped as a gasp escaped his lips when I bit his neck. He sure was sensitive in this area. "F-firstly, no kissing or anything like that while at school,"

"Not even in here?" I asked and lightly nibbled on his neck.

"Well...maybe a little, but we really have to be careful. I mean really careful, like door locked at all times. We can't get caught," he said.

"It's kind of hot, you know? Like sneaking around," I said. He was breathing heavily. I was slowly rocking myself against him and attacking his neck and jaw with kisses. I was definitely having an effect on him.

"Please stop," he breathed. I grinned wickedly and pulled back to look at him.

"Any more rules?" I asked. He nodded.

"We can't go out in public together," he said.

"Obviously."

"And I know I already said this but we really, really can't tell anyone," he said. A thought struck.

"What about Mike?" I asked.

"I trust him, but no, not yet," he said. It'd be a little difficult to sneak around when Mike is always at his house. We couldn't exactly go to mine because of my parents. School is off limits, or at least that's what he thinks. I'll have him fucking me in here by the end of the month. My point is, I have no idea when we'd get time to ourselves, but I'm sure we'd think of something.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Yeah. Uh...this is a little awkward but...I need you to promise me that if we do break up, you won't go telling people about our relationship out of anger," he said.

"Vic, I may be an asshole, but I wouldn't do that to you," I assured him. He's putting a lot of faith in me right now so the least I could do is not act like a child and tell everyone.

"Good, because I don't want to lose my job," he said.

"Don't worry, you won't," I said and kissed his cheek.

"Okay, and I just want to say that for the record I tried to be responsible, I really did, but no matter what I do or say you're never gonna listen and you'll keep trying," he said. I smiled and nodded.

"Hmm, that's true," I said.

I kissed him yet again because I couldn't get enough of his lips. He tasted so sweet, like mint and strawberry. He must have had candy or gum, either way he tasted nice. His tongue glided against mine as the kiss got more intense. I couldn't believe that we were in the middle of school making out. Just beyond that door were classes, students roaming the halls and maybe even other teachers. All of which had no idea what Vic and I were up to. I was making out with my teacher, Mr. Fuentes. The thought reminded me of something that had been kind of bothering me lately. I pulled out of the kiss.

"Wait a minute, I have a rule too," I said. He gave a curious look.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't want you talking to me like a student. You do it all the time, and sometimes it's really, really hot..." I trailed off and looked down at his body. I ran my fingers along his tie, "You know...when you're all dominating and demanding...I like that sometimes," I bit my bottom lip and smiled at him innocently. The mood had suddenly changed as my horny teenage boy thoughts went wild. I shook them out of my head though and went back to being serious.

"But other times it really gets to me. I want to be an equal, except while we're in class, of course. I don't want to feel like I'm inferior to you because that's not how I think a relationship should work. I want you to talk to me like I'm your boyfriend. Not like a student and not like your little brother's friend," I explained. He nodded.

"Yeah, I get it. I'll try not to," he said.

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

"Anything else?" he asked.

"Yeah, you're kind of hard," I said bluntly. He looked confused.

"What?" he asked.

I looked down at the front of his jeans and smiled cheekily. I could feel him against me practically this whole time.

"An example of why we can't do this at school. Off, now," he said and pushed me lightly. I reluctantly got off of him and sat on the edge of the desk instead.

"I think it's safe to say to this is definitely the most enlightening session we've ever had," I said.

"Oh right...the sessions, that's another thing. I'm supposed to be helping you but here I am, well...doing this," he said. I frowned.

"I don't need help," I said. I thought we were over this.

"I'm just saying, I'm still your counselor so I want you to be able to come to me if you have problems," he said.

"You're doing the teacher voice," I said.

"No, I'm doing the caring boyfriend voice," he said. I smiled, probably blushing, at the word 'boyfriend'.

"Can I come over this afternoon?" I asked. The question was kind of random and just popped in my head, but I really, really needed to see him some more, alone.

"Don't you have detention?" he asked. Mike and I had finished cleaning the locker rooms so it was just normal detention now, which means Vic wouldn't be accompanying me.

"Fine, after detention...or I could skip detention and you could punish me," I said with a wink.

"Cute," he said sarcastically, "But I'll see you after."

"It's a date," I said. He stood up and leaned into me, pressing his lips against mine. This was a little strange, but in a way completely normal. He was my teacher and I knew this was wrong, but at the same time when we're together it feels like a different universe. When he's kissing me he's not Mr. Fuentes. He's just Vic. I think this is the start of something epic.

Chapter Text

I walked up to Vic's house that afternoon with the most mischievous intentions. I figured that Mike wouldn't be here because Vic wouldn't have said yes to me coming over if he was. That meant that we would be alone and I wasn't stupid. I know what happens when two guys who are into each other are alone. Or at least from past experience with Oli I know what happens.

I got to his door and knocked on it. While I was waiting there I looked around. This was a nice neighborhood. In fact it was the same one I lived in only I was a few streets over. It was mainly nice because most of the residents were older people. My parents wanted peace and quiet so that's why they moved to a neighborhood like this. I don't know why Vic chose this place. Maybe it's just what he could afford or what was available. Vic opened the door, cutting off my thoughts.

"Hey," he said, smiling.

"Hey yourself," I said and walked in when he stepped to the side. I walked into living room and looked around, just familiarizing myself with the surroundings even though I had been here before.

"Is Mike here?" I asked. I turned to Vic who just walked into the room.

"Nope. He's out applying for part time jobs," he said.

"Oh that's nice. So we're alone?" I questioned with a flirtatious edge to my voice. He smiled and nodded.

"Yes, we're alone. How was detention?" he changed the subject. I stepped towards him, my eyes scanning his body. He was wearing what he usually wore to school; the black skinny jeans plus a random button up shirt that wasn't tucked in. Only now he was minus the tie. He was so attractive.

"I don't want to talk about detention," I said, "Actually I don't want to talk at all."

I moved closer and a small smile formed on his lips before I kissed him. It still felt a little strange because he's my teacher, but more than that it felt really good to kiss him so I easily pushed those thoughts away. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him over to the couch. I pushed him down on it, falling on top of him. He held my hips lightly and I'll tell you what, that was something I found hot. I could tell from how good his arms looked that he was strong, but the way he touches me is so gentle. I like that. Although, I like it rough too.

I found myself rocking my body against his. He gripped my hips a little harder and pulled me down, rolling his hips up. Well fuck. What went from simple kissing suddenly changed. I grinned against him and felt that he was feeling the same as me; turned on. This was moving at exactly the pace I wanted. My hands trailed down his body to his jeans and I started to undo his belt when he grabbed hold of my wrists.

"Wait...wait," he said against my lips. I pulled back, breathing heavily.

"What?" I asked.

"How about we just talk?" he suggested. I looked at him like he was crazy. He wants to talk now?

"No, I wanna do this," I said and went to kiss him again, but he put his hand on my chest. I frowned in confusion. Yes, he's rejected me before but I thought we were together now. I moved away, crawled off him and sat at the end of the couch.

"Don't you want me?" I asked. It was like this switch inside of me got flipped. Happy to sad. Simple as that. Doesn't he like me? He sat up and moved closer.

"Of course I want you, Kellin. Believe me, I do. You're a little hard to resist sometimes," he said.

"Then don't resist," I said and went to kiss him again. Once again he moved away.

"I don't understand why you don't want to do this, I mean... like, did you change your mind about us? Or do you just not like me anymore or...or...I don't know," I spoke quickly. He came back towards me, looking a little confused. He held my hands and I let him.

"You know...we don't have to do all of that physical stuff for me to like you," he said.

"But, if you like someone then you do those things with them," I said.

"Not yet. Look, Kellin, I'm risking my career to be with you. If I wanted sex, then honestly I could just go and get it from someone, but that's not all I want from you," he said. This didn't really sound right so I was just sitting there feeling confused.

"But I want it," I said.

"But you're my student," he shot back. I rolled my eyes and stood up, yanking my hands from his grip.

"Thanks for making me feel inferior," I said. In a dramatic fashion I walked from the room, going towards the door but he was quick to stop me.

"Wait, no, I'm sorry," he said. He ran in front of me and stood in front of the door. I guess I didn't really want to leave because I didn't try to walk around him. I just felt kind of annoyed right now. I didn't want him to bring up the fact that I'm his student. I told him not to and he did.

"Look, you know what I mean. I know you do. Kissing is one thing, but the rest...well it's a huge step for me because of the whole, you know... whatever. It makes me feel like I'm guilty, which I am. I mean I feel guilty for even having those kinds of thoughts about you," he explained. I still wanted to be mad but I guess the rational side of me came through and I realized I was being kind of a jerk about all of this. I relax and gave a small smile.

"You know I'll just seduce you, right?" I questioned.

"I know, and I have no doubt you'll succeed and I'll give in, but just let me at least attempt to be responsible," he said desperately. I could tell that he needed this. It was kind of pointless though because I know what I want and I want him, really badly in a sexual way, and when I want something I won't give in until I get it. He's going to give in quicker than he thinks. His stupid conscience is just getting in the way right now.

"Okay, I get it," I said.

"Thank you. You're so difficult sometimes," he teased. I just shrugged.

"Yeah...well, we just had out first fight," I said in realization, "Well, at least our first fight when we're together,"

"Yeah, we did. And only 6 hours into our relationship," he said with a bit of a frown.

"We could always have make up sex," I said with a wink. He rolled he eyes and walked around me, back into the living room. I followed him in and we sat back on the couch.

"So...haven't you ever been in a relationship which moved at a normal speed?" he asked. A blush formed on my cheeks and I suddenly felt really, really young.

"Um...actually...I've never been in a relationship before," I admitted. He looked surprised.

"You haven't?" he asked.

"Well like, there's Oli...but that was, you know...whatever," I said. I was feeling awkward talking about another guy to him, but he didn't seem fazed by it.

"Okay that explains a lot," he said.

"It does?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah. Oli used you for sex, so that's all you really know about relationships. So it's not a surprise that in your mind you've developed this expectation on what relationships should be like, which is why you got all confused when I rejected you. You relate physically intimacy with someone liking you and-"

I lean forward and kissed him, shutting him up. He hesitated before kissing me back a little. I pulled away and he looked confused.

"Sorry. You were going all guidance counselor on me and analyzing me. I don't like that by the way," I said.

"Oh, I didn't even notice. I guess that's just in my nature," he said with an apologetic look on his face. I frowned.

"We just got together and we're already having like disagreements and stuff," I said sadly.

"Hey, that's a good thing. We're learning about each other. That's why we need to talk, like I said. We need to get to know each other and learn what the other likes and doesn't like. That's what being in a relationship is," he said. I nodded slowly, understanding. Maybe I should buy a 'relationships for dummies book.

"Okay, I get it. I'm probably just some inexperienced kid to you," I said. He shook his head and kissed me.

"You're not," he said when he pulled away.

"But you've probably had a lot of, like, really mature and smart guys and then there's just me," I said.

"You're mature. I mean, forgive me for going all guidance counselor on you again, but you cover up your maturity with being flirtatious and acting like you don't care about anything because you're really guarded and don't want to be seen as serious. You're being serious with me right now though which I'm glad for. I like that you're able to open with me," he said. I sat there processing what he was saying. Was I a guarded person? Was I actually mature like he says I am? The more I thought about it the more it made sense.

"Stop that," I said.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"You're starting to know more about me than I know about me," I said. He smiled and shrugged.

"Sorry, that's my job," he said. I smiled back at him.

"I think it's cute that you notice these things about me though," I said.

"I notice a lot about you. You're a very interesting person," he said. I didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing, so I let it slide.

"Oh by the way, I haven't been with a lot of guys. I've been with two, and neither were that mature," he said. I guess now is as good a time as any to have the awkward talk about exes.

"Tell me about them," I urged him. I was actually interested to know what kind of guys he was usually into. I wonder if I'm different from them.

"Well, there was Justin for a couple of years in high school. It was a puppy love kind of thing. We were good friends and we were the only two gay guys in school so it kind of just progressed into something more. It was a mutual break up because he went across the country to go to college. We just thought it was for the best to end it. I think we were more together for the experience, not love or anything like that. After him I met Alan in college. That was...whatever. We broke up because he was too afraid to come out of the closet. It was getting a bit ridiculous after dating for two years and never being able to leave the dorm room so I broke it off," he explained. He seemed a bit uncomfortable talking about that second guy.

"So you broke it off because you didn't like sneaking around?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"What about us? We're sneaking around," I said.

"Yeah but I know that won't last forever. You graduate in 8 months so then it'll be fine," he said. I smiled at that, mainly because he thinks we'll still be together by then. He must really actually like me.

"Oh okay. Well...cool," I said, kind of awkwardly. I didn't really like the thoughts I was having about him and other guys. I didn't like it at all.

"Do you know what you have that they don't?" he asked.

"I don't know, what?"

"You're fun," he told me, "And cuter," he said, coming towards me, "And smarter," he said and pressed his lips against mine. That last one was a total lie. I'm definitely not smart, but I ignored the comment and kissed him back. I felt good after that conversation. It was nice to find out new things about him. If this is what a relationship is like then I regret rejecting so many guys over the years. I never wanted an actual relationship, so I don't know why I suddenly wanted one now, but I'm glad I went for it because I really like this guy.

Vic suddenly pulled away, laughing.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Your stomach is growling at me," he said. I hadn't even noticed.

"Well I know something that I could eat..." I said suggestively. He rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Come on, I'll make you something," he said.

"I want pancakes!" I said quickly as I jumped up and followed him into the kitchen.

"I don't have pancakes. And pancakes are a breakfast thing," he said.

"Pancakes are an all the time thing," I said. He ignored me as he ruffled around in the pantry. He got out some bread.

"I'm making you a sandwich," he said.

"I can make my own," I argued.

"Nope, let me. What do you want on it?" he asked.

"PB & J," I said like it was the obvious answer. He gave me an 'are you serious?' look.

"Forget what I said about you being mature," he teased. He went about making the sandwich and even made the same for himself. I stood there being annoying and kissing his neck to distract him. He looked like he was getting a little flustered. I bet he wished he had taken me up on my offer of sex now.

After we ate our food I found myself sitting on the kitchen counter with Vic in front of me. He was situated in between my legs and we were making out. For someone who was so resistant at first, he sure likes kissing me. He's delusional if he thinks he can resist me for much longer. It was a normal couple thing to want to be all over each other when you first start dating, right? It was a weird change since he was my teacher, but it was a good change.

"Hey Vic! I'm home! There are some places actually interested in hiring me," Mike called out from the front door. Vic pulled away from me quickly with wide eyes. I guess we forgot about the time. He pointed to the ground, gesturing for me to hide. I casually slipped off the counter and ducked down so Mike couldn't see me behind the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Mike, hey," Vic said the second I was down.

"Look, all these places showed interest," Mike's voice entered the room. I heard the sound of paper and then silence. Personally I think this would be a lot easier if we just told Mike we're together. I highly doubt he'd even care, but I was going to respect Vic's wishes and not say anything.

"This is really great, Mike. Go take a shower and we'll talk some more when you're out," Vic said quickly.

"Wow, real smooth way of telling me I stink," Mike said.

"Yup well, you do, so off you go," Vic said. He sounded really nervous. I had a feeling he wasn't a very good liar.

"Uh, okay," Mike said and I heard footsteps walking away.

A moment later there was the sound of a door closing. I looked up at Vic who was looking back at me.

"That was close," he said. He held out his hand to me and I took it, but instead of letting him help me up, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. He kissed back, laughing a little because we were in an awkward position.

"You really have to go now," he said as he pulled away.

"But I don't want to," I pouted. He pulled me up from the ground and led me to the front door.

"You have to. You know I don't want Mike finding out. I'm supposed to be the responsible big brother. If he sees me breaking rules then he'll think he can do it too," he said.

"Hm, so parental of you," I said.

"Yeah, pretty much," he said. He kissed me again and I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep him there a little longer. I think he was getting a little paranoid though because all Mike had to do was open that bathroom door again and he'd be able to see us. I pulled away, smiling.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said.

"Definitely," he said. One last kiss and I was out the door.

Chapter Text

Imagine me actually being happy to go to a class for once. That's what I felt when I walked to Biology the next day with Alex, Tay and Mike. Of course none of them knew why I was so eager to get there. It was definitely out of character for me, but I didn't care. I was truly happy at that moment, which really, I'm usually a happy person, or at least I thought I was. I think I was so content in my usual day to day emotions, minus the random outbursts of depression or anger that I had lately, and so now that I was actually happy I could feel the difference. My emotions usually confused me because I was either feeling nothing, or intensely feeling everything, but this one I was sure of. I was simply happy.

I walked into class and most people were already there and seated. Vic was at the front of the classroom by his desk and it took everything in me not to pounce on him.

"Looking good, Mr. Fuentes," I flirted. His eyes shot up to me. No one else batted an eyelid at my comment. They were all used to me flirting with everything that moved so it didn't come as a surprise that I was flirting with Vic. That was a perk of my personality; I could openly flirt with Vic and no one would think anything is going on because it's just what I usually do.

"Take a seat, Mr. Quinn," he said, acting every part the responsible teacher. My flirting didn't even affect him. I guess he's a good actor. I went down the back of the classroom to the usual row of desks that I sat at. I situated myself between Mike and Tay, with Alex on the other side of his girlfriend.

"Could you not flirt with my brother? It's weird," Mike whispered.

"Oh lighten up, it's just a bit of fun," I said.

"How would you like it if I flirted with your sister?" he asked. I shrugged.

"Go right ahead. I'm sure she wouldn't be interested in a high school boy anyway," I said.

"Yeah well neither is my brother," he said. I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to tell him the truth and win the mini-argument we were having.

"Calm down. I flirt with everyone. It's harmless," I said.

"It's true, he does," Tay backed me up. Mike looked at the two of us and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he said dismissively. Maybe Vic's right about not telling Mike about us. He seems annoyed enough at me for flirting with Vic, let alone actually being in a relationship with him. I shrugged it off though. At the end of the day I don't really care what Mike thinks. I'm going to do and say what I want.

I flipped open my notebook to get ready for class. I didn't really know much about biology, but that didn't matter considering I usually spent most of the class checking out Vic. I looked up at him to see him looking back. I smiled and teasing licked my lips. He looked away quickly. It was really strange sitting here as a student knowing that no one else in the room knew of what Vic and I got up to. I felt kind of special actually. The man himself stepped away from his desk, looking out to the rest of the class.

"Okay, quiet down," Vic said and the low rumblings of the class ceased as everyone paid attention to him, "So did you all have fun on the biology trip?"

There were a round of 'yes's' muttered. I know I sure did have fun.

"I hope you all actually learnt something instead of just goofing off with your friends," he said and his eyes shot to me. I just smiled innocently, "I also hope you were paying attention to Miss McDougall and remembered to bring your completed reports, which as you know are worth a large portion of your grade. Have them out and on your desk so I can collect them,"

"Oops," I whispered. With everything going on with Vic and I lately I had forgotten to complete the report. I took the single sheet of paper out of my notebook. All that was on it was a few notes from when we were on the field trip. Oh well, this isn't the first time I've forgotten to do an assignment. It's not like I cared about Biology anyway.

Vic was walking around the class, picking up everyone's reports and holding them in a pile in his hands. When he got to us he stopped at Mike first, taking his assignment. He got to me and I put mine on the pile. He looked down at it, then back at me. I gave an innocent smile.

"Come and see me after class," he said with a sigh and collected the other's reports. He went back up to the front of the room and set them on his desk.

"I'm glad to see most of you completed your work. I should have them graded and back to you within a week. For now though, we're moving onto the next major topic of the semester," he said and I tuned out after that. I felt like he was disappointed in me for not doing it. I have never cared about school work and now I felt bad. What if he doesn't like stupid people? Because I assure you I'm not the smartest person out there. I barely scrape through with a pass in most classes. I'm generally a 'D' student, mostly because I don't try.

I forgot about it and drew random pictures in my book instead. I decided that I'd draw one for Vic so maybe he'd go easy on me about my missing report. Maybe I wouldn't be failing this class if I spent more time paying attention and less time drawing and checking out Vic's ass every time he turned to write on the board.

The bell rang in no time and everyone's chairs screeched along the floor as they got up and left.

"Good luck, buddy," Alex said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"It's not the first time I've gotten into trouble. I'll see you guys later," I said to him, Mike and Tay. They all smiled and left the classroom. Eventually it was just Vic and I. I stood up, gathered my things and went to his desk. He gave me an unimpressed look.

"What?" I asked, pretending as though I had done nothing wrong.

"You didn't do your report," he said.

"So?" I said with a shrug.

"So, why didn't you do it?" he asked.

"Well...there's this guy," I said with a sigh, "And I can't seem to get him off my mind long enough to do stupid homework."

"I don't want to be a distraction to you," he said, kind of sadly.

"You're not," I said quickly. I definitely didn't want him to doubt our relationship because he's a distraction. "You're not," I repeated a little slower.

"Okay...well I'm giving you a chance to complete it before the day is through," he said.

"Now, now, Mr. Fuentes, you aren't supposed to be favoring me by giving me extra time," I pointed out. Really I just didn't want to do the assignment.

"I'm not. If anyone else failed to hand it in by class then I'd offer them the same deal," he said.

"Well, I reject the deal," I said smiling.

"No, you don't. You're coming to my office after school and you'll complete it then instead of going to detention," he said. I sighed in frustration.

"Can't you just fail me? I really don't care," I said. He frowned and shook his head.

"I'm not failing you. You're going to try, please?" he asked. Those feelings before of thinking that I was disappointing him came back and so I reluctantly gave in.

"Alright, fine. I'll do it after school, but only because I want to spend extra time with you," I said cheekily.

"Uh huh, and that extra time will be spent doing school work, not...other things," he said. He was trying to be serious but his lips curved into a small smile.

"Whatever you say," I said flirtatiously. His smile grew wider.

"Off to class," he said, nodding towards the door. I remembered my drawing though.

"Wait, I drew something for you," I said. I tore it out of my book and handed it to him. He took and looked down at the picture.

"That's...is that the waterfall we jumped down on Monday?" he asked. I nodded and he looked up, smiling.

"That looks exactly like it," he said.

"Yeah, I have a good memory. That's us, but the way, in the water," I told him. He looked back down, still smiling that smile which warmed my heart.

"This is really good, Kellin. I mean really, really good," he said.

"Thanks," I said simply. I was blushing and I silently cursed myself for acting shy all of a sudden.

"You don't take art though," he said. He looked up at me with a confused expression.

"I know. Mr. Smith won't allow me in his classes," I said.

"Why not?"

"Um...well, he would make really homophobic comments in class last year...so I kind of painted a picture of two guys having sex, and then I got kicked out. He won't allow me back in there and there are no other art teachers, so whatever," I said, shrugging. I didn't care that much. Art classes here were total bullshit. They didn't teach me anything helpful.

"You can't get kicked out for that. I mean, maybe get in trouble for painting sexual content. He can't get away with this," he said. I looked at him guiltily.

"Actually... It wasn't so much the picture that was the problem...It was that I kind of painted it really big on the side of his house so...yeah," I admitted. I was expecting a disapproving look, but instead he started laughing.

"Did you seriously do that to Mr. Smith?" he asked, talking of the extremely religious and old art teacher. I nodded, glad that he found by rebellion amusing.

"Yeah, I did. So I got into trouble; for vandalizing or whatever and he won't allow me back in the class," I said with a shrug.

"With good reason too...I can't believe you did that," he said as his laughter died down. "You should consider doing something with art after high school though,"

"Nah," I dismissed the idea, "I do it for fun as a hobby. I don't want to take the fun out of it by making it a job or studying it, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess...Anyway seriously, off to class or you'll be late," he said. I sighed and my eyes flicked down to his lips. I really wanted to kiss him, but with the door wide open and students walking past, I couldn't.

"I'll see you later," I said with a smile and left the room.

—-

The end of the day couldn't come fast enough. I was getting to the point where I'd miss Vic like crazy whenever I wasn't around him. Wow, I've really got it bad for him. When I got to his office, like usual I opened the door without knocking, but I stopped before walking in because I saw Alex sitting there across from Vic. Alex looked at me quickly, looking fearful for a moment. I wonder what he's here for.

"Oh hey, sorry, dude. I should have knocked," I said.

"Yeah, could you wait outside a moment?" Vic asked.

"Sure," I said.

"No!" Alex stopped me quickly, "I'm done here. It's fine," he got up and hastily picked his bag up from the ground.

"Alex, wait," Vic said, but was too late, Alex had pushed past me and was out the door. I looked back to Vic in confusion.

"What's his problem?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing, it's nothing. Come in," he said. I stepped inside and shut the door, locking it for good measure.

"What was Alex here for?" I asked.

"You know I can't answer that. Don't worry about it. He's fine," he said. I let the topic slide and walked towards my boyfriend.

"I missed you today," I said. I got to him and went to lean down for a kiss but he slid back on the chair.

"No," he said. I pouted and stood back up straight.

"What? I can't kiss you?" I asked.

"Nope. I told you, we're not here for that. We're here for you to do your school work," he explained. I rolled my eyes at him.

"So I can't even have a hello kiss?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No. You'll get a kiss when you're done. Now bring that chair over here," he said. I sighed and did as I was told. I brought the chair from the other side of the desk over and sat next to him. He shuffled around some papers and laid my incomplete report in front of me. He then opened a text book and placed it next to it.

"Everything you need to know is in this chapter of the text book. Just answer the questions and you'll be out of here in no time," he said. I really didn't want to though. There were so many other things I wanted to do with him right now.

"Do I have to?" I asked.

"Yes," he said firmly. I frowned and looked down at the questions I had. It was like reading a foreign language.

"Can you explain it to me again? I wasn't paying attention in class," I said.

"Of course you weren't," he said. He moved his chair closer to me and looked down at the paper.

"Okay, so firstly you have to look at the list of plants you were supposed to find on Monday and..." I tuned out of what he was saying. I really needed to stop doing that, but Biology was boring and he was so damn attractive. I couldn't stop looking at his lips. Maybe if I seduce him he'll just forget about the work. I placed my hand on his thigh and lightly rubbed it.

"A-and then you, um, you have to sort them into the different classifications and..." he continued on, looking a little nervous. I leant close to him and kissed his neck.

"Kellin...the work," he said, attempting to make me focus, but I really didn't want to.

"What about it?" I whispered in his ear. My hand drifted further up and he grabbed hold of it. He pushed me back into my seat and he pointed to the report.

"Do it," he said and stood up. He walked around to the other side of the room and sat on the couch.

"I'd rather do you," I said boldly. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Come on, the sooner you do your work, the sooner we can...whatever," he said. I could tell he wasn't going to give up on this any time soon so I took the stupid assignment a little more seriously and started on it.

About twenty minutes later though I had barely done anything. I really didn't understand any of this stuff at all. Vic came back over to me at the thirty minute mark and looked down at the sheet of paper which was almost as blank as it was before. I looked up at him. He just seemed a bit confused, but not judgemental or anything like that. He gave a questioning look.

"I don't know how to do this stuff, okay? I'm stupid and biology is hard," I admitted.

I felt really embarrassed. I don't want him to not like me because I'm not smart like he is. He sat down so he was eye level with me.

"Listen to me, Kellin. You are not stupid. Don't ever say that again. Some classes aren't for everyone. Not everyone can read a text book and take in the information. Some people, like you, are good at other things, like art. I bet you're good at English classes too, and music, right?" he questioned. I thought about it and nodded because they were my best subjects. It was the math and science classes that always messed me up.

"Yeah, I guess," I said.

"Everyone is smart in their own way. I'm going to help you do the rest of this, okay?" he asked.

"Okay, thank you," I said with a small smile. It was good to hear someone say that I'm not stupid. Other teachers always treated me like I was the dumb kid, and hell, so did my parents. This was the first time someone has ever told me that I'm not and that I'm just good at other things. I was nice to hear that kind of encouragement.

For the remainder of detention he helped me work on the assignment, and in the end it was easier than I expected it to be. Vic was helping me with my concluding statements when I once again got distracted and my hand strayed to his thigh.

"Honestly, Kellin," he sighed, "Do you ever have anything other than sex on your mind?"

"Thinking about this is a lot better than thinking about other things," I said without thinking. I didn't mean to get all serious all of a sudden, but I couldn't help the sad tone that came across in my voice. He noticed too.

"What other things?" he asked. I stayed silent and continued finishing off the last of the assignment. It was so hard sometimes to act happy and fun when in the back of your mind, pushed about into the deepest corners, you have such dark thoughts. In my case thoughts of what happened with my dad, brother and what I had done to myself were constantly weighing on mind, even though I managed to ignore it 90% of the time.

"I'm still your guidance counselor, Kellin. Talk to me," he urged. I sighed as I finished the sentence I was on and dropped my pen. I looked at his concerned expression. How is it that it's so easy for me to talk to him? I usually hated talking about my feelings, but I still find myself telling him what's on my mind.

"I'm not talking about anything in particular really. I just, I don't know...It's easier to think about the fun stuff rather than what happened in the past," I told him. He gave me a sympathetic look.

"You still think about it?" he asked.

"All the time," I admitted, "I usually push it back and try to focus on something else, but it really doesn't help when you force me to talk about it."

"I'm not forcing you. I'm sorry. I just want you to know that it's okay to talk to me about your past if it's bothering you. That's what I'm here for," he said.

"It doesn't bother me," I said quickly, not really wanting the sympathy. I think he could tell I was lying though.

"Okay," he said, dropping the subject. I finished off the assignment in a comfortable silence. It wasn't awkward after the conversation. In fact I felt happy that someone actually cared about me. Is this what being in a relationship really feels like?

"There, done," I said in victory. I handed it to him and he looked over it quickly.

"See, now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he said and got up to put the report somewhere else. I got up too and grabbed my bag from the floor. I wanted to stick around and attempt to fool around with him, but he made me suffer by doing that work, so I wasn't going to give him what he wanted. He turned back to me, looking a little disappointed that I was ready to leave.

"Going so soon?" he asked.

"Yeah, my parents are expecting me home soon," I said, and that actually wasn't a lie.

"Well that's a shame. Come here and you can have that kiss I owe you," he said. I smiled wickedly and walked towards him. I slipped my arms around his back and moved closer. My lips hovered beside his, but then I opted out to kiss his cheek and moved away.

"Nope, you missed your chance," I said with a grin. No guy is going to dictate the conditions of which I can kiss him.

"Seriously?" he asked, seemingly a bit frustrated.

"Sucks to be rejected, doesn't it?" I teased. I went towards the door and opened it, "See you tomorrow, Mr. Fuentes,"

With that I walked out the door and headed home.

Chapter Text

It was Friday today. It's so close to the weekend and I hoped that meant I could maybe spend some time with Vic, you know, if we could get rid of Mike. That would prove to be difficult though since I'm basically his only friend here. Sure, there's Alex too, but Alex and Tay usually spend all weekend, every weekend, with each other.

"So what are you doing this weekend?" I casually asked Mike as we hung out by our lockers. Alex and Tay were next to us making out, which to be quite honest was a little gross, so I focused on Mike.

"I don't know. I'll probably hang out at home. Oh, actually I was meaning to ask you. Alex and I are hanging out this afternoon, like just video games or whatever. You wanna come with?" Mike asked.

"You can't," Alex said quickly from beside me. I looked to him to see he had pushed Tay away a little. I frowned in confusion before he went on, "I mean, my mom is being annoying and has this new rule where I can only have one friend over at a time so...yeah. Sorry, dude."

I didn't care that he had asked Mike to hang out and not me, because that meant that this afternoon Mike would be at Alex's, meaning Vic and I could be alone.

"That's fine. I have plans anyway," I said with a sly smile. Alex just nodded before Tay got his attention again.

"Sorry, I probably should have asked Alex before asking you," Mike said. I shrugged it off.

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, I have things to do," I said. And by 'things', I mean his brother. I can't get Vic off my mind, but not just the usual thoughts of how much I like him, but it's more the thoughts of how I want to push him onto a bed and well, you know the rest. I had a feeling Vic would be reluctant to do that with me though, so it'd probably be baby steps and it'd take a lot of convincing. Luckily for me though I'm very good at seducing people.

The bell rang, stopping my thoughts from delving any deeper. Tay and Alex stopped playing tonsil hockey before saying goodbye and walking off in the opposite direction of me, with Mike closely following. My class, English, was in the other direction. I walked down the hall, knowing that Vic's office was up ahead. I considered going and seeing him, or maybe I should just text him in class. Before I could make up my mind though, there was an arm around my shoulder. I knew who it was just from his smell. He smelt like cigarettes and weed.

"What do you want, Oli?" I asked in an uninterested tone. We hadn't really spoken since we had gotten into that fight in the cafeteria.

"Where are you going so fast?" he asked. He made me stop walking and I rolled my eyes, turning to him.

"Whatever it is you want, make it quick," I said impatiently.

"Come on, mate, no need to be so bitter. After all, you're the one that attacked me. I should be angry," he said. He sounded so friendly so I knew something was up.

"Why aren't you angry?" I said suspiciously.

"Because I get over things quickly," he said, shrugging. That was true. Oli was usually pretty chill about things, I mean after all, he didn't come after me when I had fought him.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Just to chat, love," he said. I wasn't buying that for a second. "Alright, alright, so I have an agenda," he admitted.

"Of course you do," I sighed, "What is it?"

"Well, Kellin, I miss our little get-together. So what do you say we put our differences behind us and you come over this afternoon?" he asked. I almost laughed at that. Almost.

"You can't be serious?" I asked incredulously.

"I'm dead serious," he said. He seemed so confident. Usually I probably would have agreed to this, but not anymore.

"Oli, to be honest, you're kind of an asshole and I don't want anything to do with you, ever," I said bluntly. Anger flashed in his eyes, but just as soon as it had, it was gone.

"Your loss then. It's not like I don't have other options," he said bitterly. He knocked into my shoulder roughly as he walked on down the hall. God he was annoying. It's like he just expects me to give into him so easily. It'd take a lot for me to go back to him. I didn't like the way he treated me. Vic on the other hand treated me like I was special. I turned to walk back down the hall and saw Vic standing by his office door watching me. I wonder if he had seen Oli and I talking together. He probably had. He nodded his head towards his office, gesturing for me to come and talk to him, so I did, even though that meant I'd be late to class. I walked past Vic, into his office and he shut the door behind us.

"Is everything okay?" he asked once we were alone. I turned to him and smiled.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I asked.

"It just looked like Oli was hassling you is all," he said. I shrugged and nodded.

"Kind of. He wanted to start things up with me and him again. Of course I said no," I told him.

"He wants you back?" he asked, suddenly sounding so defensive. I think I liked the jealous side of Vic. It was kind of hot.

"Yes, but don't worry. You're all I want," I said. The brief moment of jealousy was gone and now he smiled.

"Good," he said simply.

"Yep, oh by the way, what are you doing this afternoon?" I asked.

"Um, I don't know. Nothing, why?" he asked.

"Because Mike is going over Alex's," I told him.

"Oh, so I'll have the place to myself..." He trailed off suggestively. I nodded and took a step towards him.

"Maybe you should invite me over," I said.

"Hm, I don't know. I have so many other boyfriends to choose from," he joked. I hit his arm playfully.

"Don't be a jerk," I said. He smiled and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to him.

"Don't worry, you're my favorite out of all of them," he said.

"I better be the only one, or else..." I threatened him.

"Or else what?" he asked. He was holding me close and I could feel my body going hot. I still had thoughts about him from before running through my mind and it really wasn't helping me calm down.

"Or else I'll have to prove that I'm the best...and that I'm the only one who can make you feel good," I said seductively. He sighed in frustration.

"Why do you have to do that?" he asked, resting his forehead against mine.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"Be so...I don't know...like you. You make me want to do things with you that I shouldn't even be thinking about," he said. It really did seem like he was trying to restrain himself.

"I guess I'm just a bad influence," I said. I went to kiss him but there was a knock on the door and we stepped away from each other quickly. Sometimes I forget that we're still in school. It really feels like were two different people in an alternate universe when we're alone.

"That'd be my next student," he said. "We'll pick back up on this this afternoon," I said with a smile. I went to leave but he grabbed my arm.

"Hey...seriously though...don't get any ideas into your head. We can't...like...you know..." He was fumbling for words, but I knew what he meant. He was so reluctant to do anything sexual because I'm a student.

"I know. I get it," I said, and although I understood where he was coming from, that wouldn't stop me from getting what I want. He just needs to relax. I want this to be a normal relationship, or as normal as it can be when we're sneaking around. I don't want a relationship where we restrict what we do with each other because of the stupid law. It's ridiculous that right now what we're doing is illegal, but if it were happening in like 7 months when I turn 18 then there would be nothing wrong with it.

"I'll see you later," Vic said. I nodded and opened the door, seeing a random student there. I walked out and went off to English class.

—-

Detention seemed to go on forever. My detentions for graffiting the locker rooms got cut short since the place was well and clean now, so all I had left was the detentions that Miss McDougall gave me for being bad on the biology trip. Her detentions were long and boring as hell. I was done now though and found myself walking up to Vic's house. I was excited to see him, and really just kiss him because I had been dying to have his lips against mine for a while now. I knocked on the front door eagerly and a moment later Mike answered. My eyes went wide. I was definitely not expecting Mike to be here. He was supposed to be at Alex's!

"Oh hey, you got my message!" he said with a bright smile on his face. Message? What message? I just decided to go along with it.

"I sure did," I said, still confused.

"Sweet. Come on in. Alex is in my room," he asked.

"Awesome," I said, lacking enthusiasm.

He led me through the house and I saw Vic sitting in the living room. He gave me a defeated look and shrugged hopelessly. I guess these two showed up unexpectedly. I took my phone out of my pocket, cursing myself for not checking it. I had a text from Vic warning me that they were here, and I had one from Mike which said that Alex's mom kicked them out so they came here instead and he invited me over. Well this really sucks. I was looking forward to having some alone time with Vic, but now I had to pretend I was here to hang out with my friends. I guess that isn't that bad.

"Hey Alex," I said when I walked into the room. He glanced up at me quickly before looking back at the TV screen.

"Hey," he said kind of lifelessly. Now I was beginning to worry. He didn't invite me to hang out like we usually would, and now he didn't really seem too happy to see me. Did I do something? I'm pretty sure I didn't. I'm not usually the type of person to care about stuff like this, but if a friend has a problem with me then I actually do care.

"Grab a controller, dude. Alex is near impossible to beat on this game," Mike said.

"I'm sure I could take him on," I said confidently. I sat on the floor next to him, leaning my back against the bed. Mike came and sat next to me and we started playing. I wasn't that big of a fan of video games, and if I had seen that text earlier I probably would have just said I was busy. Speaking of being busy, I hope they don't question me about why I'm here and not doing the "plans" I had told them about at school.

"So why aren't you with Tay tonight?" I asked Alex, making random conversation.

"I don't have to be with her all the time," he snapped. Jeez, what the hell is wrong with him? I gave Mike a questioning look and he just shrugged.

"Okay," I said simply and continued playing the game. It was a little awkward and silent in here after that. We played a few rounds of the game before Mike attempted conversation again.

"So Kellin, I saw you with Oli earlier today," Mike said. He had? I guess he must have turned around and saw us while he was walking off to class.

"Yeah, he wanted to get back together," I told him.

"And are you?" he asked, an edge of disgust in his voice. I don't think he likes Oli very much after he abandoned us that night.

"Ha! No," I practically snorted.

"Oh, why not?" he asked, sounding relieved that I wasn't back with that douche bag.

"Because he's an asshole," I said.

"I don't even know why you were with him in the first place," Mike said. I shrugged.

"He was great in bed," I said casually.

"I so didn't need to know that," once again he sounded disgusted. I just laughed at him.

"What? It's the truth. I bet gay sex is like ten times better than straight sex," I said.

"Doubt it," he said.

"It is if you're a bottom," I said, just to gross him out. It worked too.

"Ugh, eww. No. Just stop," he said, making me laugh at him. The video game paused and Alex stood up abruptly.

"Bathroom," he said dully and left the room. Once he was gone I looked at Mike.

"Okay seriously, what is his problem today?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"I don't know. He was fine before you got here," he said, "Not saying that you made him upset or anything," he added the last part quickly, probably to spare my feelings. I guess I must have done something but I have no idea what.

"He didn't say if I did something?" I asked. He shook his head. I sighed and looked back at the screen. Something was definitely up with Alex, but I really had no clue what it was. He was always so friendly and upbeat, so it must have taken a lot for him to be like this. After a minute he came back and we resumed the game like normal. I would give anything to just be out there with Vic instead of in here.

After a little while, Vic showed up at the open door, and I had to sit there and pretend I didn't want take him into his room and have my way with him.

"Mike, phone for you," he said. Mike got up and left the room. Vic looked at me longingly, then left too. Now here I was alone with Alex. It was the perfect opportunity to see what's up with him.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" I asked him outright.

"I'm not," he said. I rolled my eyes at his stubbornness.

"Um, yes, you are. You're being cold towards me. What did I do?" I asked. He sighed and finally looked at me.

"You didn't do anything," he said.

"Then what's up?" I asked. He looked back to the screen, ignoring me. I wouldn't give up that easily though. I poked his side, making the extremely ticklish boy flinch away from me.

"Don't," he said.

"No, tell me what's wrong," I said and poked him again.

"Kellin, seriously," he said half-heartedly. He was one of my best friends, I would get to the bottom of this.

"I'll stop when you tell me what's wrong," I said, poking his side again and again. He started laughing and pushed my hands away.

"Stop it," he said through laughter, but I kept trying to tickle him. He tried to grab hold of my hands but I was too quick for him.

"What's wrong, Alex? Come on, tell me," I said. This was now a lot more playful and a lot less serious. His body wiggled away and he successfully grabbed hold of my hands.

"I said stop it," he said and shifted his body weight so he pushed me onto my back with him on top.

"I'll stop when you tell me what's wrong," I bargained.

"You wanna know?" he asked, sounding aggravated now.

"Yeah, I do," I said.

In a split second his lips were on mine, like he didn't even have to think about it. He just did it. I was in too much shock to do anything. What the hell is happening? My straight best friend just kissed me? I wanted to push away but it was like I was frozen. The kiss only ended when he pushed himself up and off of me. The first thing I did was look towards the door. No one was there. No one had seen. Now, with my common sense back, I focused my attention on Alex. I sat up and hit his arm.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked angrily.

"What was that?" he asked, sounding equally as angry, "That was your fault."

He stood up off the ground and I stood up too, glaring at him.

"My fault? How is this my fault?" I whisper-yelled.

"You kissed me the other day. It's your fault I'm confused now," he said. I couldn't believe this.

"Look, whatever thoughts you're having about me, or whatever else, you better get rid of them quickly. You're with Tay, Alex. You know, you're girlfriend, my best friend," I reminded him.

"I know," he said with a pained expression on his face. He looked scared now, "I love her, really, I love her with everything I have in me. But, I don't know. I got...I got curious,"

"You got curious?" I asked, still pissed as hell that he would do this, "Listen to me, you are not going to use me to try and figure out your sexuality. You're with Tay. You love Tay. This bullshit shouldn't matter. She is all that should matter."

He looked really guilty before he spoke again, "Please, Kellin, I just need to know. I didn't exactly hate that kiss the other day. I just need to know if it was a fluke or if I might be into dudes."

"This is fucking ridiculous. I will not be your guinea pig. And you will not cheat on Tay," I said definitively. I wouldn't allow that at all.

"Do we have an understanding?" I asked firmly. He looked down at the ground.

"Are you gonna tell her what I did?" he asked.

"I should," I said quickly, but at the end of the day Alex was still my friend and I didn't want to mess things up for him. He's confused and he's a fucking idiot, but I wouldn't ruin his relationship. As long as this stops here I don't see the point in breaking Tay's heart by telling her what happened.

"I won't tell her. But I swear if you try this bullshit on me again..." I trailed off.

"Whatever," he said quickly, "I'm leaving."

I didn't get a chance to say anything else because he was out the door already. I sighed and sat back on the ground. That was really intense. I couldn't believe that Alex did that. I couldn't believe that he was questioning his sexuality either. This seemed so unlike him. I thought he was completely happy with Tay. They're the perfect couple and now he goes and does this? I hope he gets this out of his head quickly because I won't tolerate him hurting Tay. I'm going to be keeping a really close eye on him.

"Is Alex okay? He left kind of quickly?" Vic's voice startled me. I looked up at him quickly.

"Oh yeah, he's fine," I lied. I didn't see a point in telling Vic. It'd probably just cause trouble if he knew Alex kissed me. I stood up, feeling a little uneasy and honestly kind of sick.

"What about you? You seem a bit, I don't know. Flustered?" he questioned.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. Just, like, frustrated I guess. I really wanted to spend the afternoon with you," I changed the topic quickly.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't know that they would come here," he said. I just shrugged. I wanted to go over and hug or kiss him, but I couldn't risk Mike seeing.

"It's okay, I guess. I just kind of miss you..." I said quietly. He smiled lightly.

"Cute," he said, the paused, "Hey...what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Nothing," I said.

"I'm going to take you on a date," he said.

"A date? We can't go out in public together," I pointed out. He nodded and glanced into the hall before looking back at me.

"I'll text you," he whispered and with that he was gone, to be quickly replaced by Mike walking into the room.

"What'd he want?" he asked.

"Nothing, just to ask about Alex," I said. That wasn't a complete lie.

"Oh, okay. Wanna keep playing?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nah, it's getting late. I should be getting home," I said.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you on Monday," he said, smiling.

"Sure thing. I'll let myself out," I said.

"Okay dude, laters," he said and went back over to the game. I left his room and walked down the hall. I saw Vic in the kitchen and gave him a quick smile and wave before leaving.

Chapter Text

I stood on the side of the road a street down from my house. Vic decided to pick me up here so my parents didn't see him, and I couldn't meet with him at his place because Mike would have seen. I had to admit, I kind of liked sneaking around. I liked Vic being my little secret. I think it was mainly because I liked the thrill of rebellion.

I leaned against one of the streetlight poles as I waited. Vic wouldn't tell me what we were doing tonight. All I knew was that he wanted me to meet him at 6, and I had to wear something warm, so I was standing here in jeans, a shirt, and a hoodie. It was a cool night, not too cold though, at least not yet. It would be as the night went on. I figured that whatever he had planned it involved being outside. I had never been on a date before. I always thought going on dates was really lame so I always rejected people when they would ask me. I guess Vic is special enough for me to say yes to. All I wanted to do was spend more time with him.

It looked at the clock on my phone. It had just turned 6. I saw the headlights of a car turn onto the street and at first I thought it was him, but it wasn't his car. It was a pick-up truck and it stopped in front of me. I was a bit cautious until the window went down and I saw Vic.

"This isn't your car." I pointed out.

"I know, I had to borrow my friend's pick-up truck." He said.

"Had to? Why?" I asked. He smiled mischievously.

"You'll see. Get in." He said, nodding his head towards the passenger seat. I went around to the other side, opened the door and got in.

"Where are we going?" I asked like an excited kid the second my door shut.

"Just somewhere that no one we know will find us. We're going a couple of towns over." He told me as he started driving.

"Oh, smart. So whose car is this?" I asked curiously.

"My friend, Jason." He said. The name sounded really familiar.

"Oh right, dude with the beard that threw the party we went to." I said. He nodded.

"Yep. We're gonna need the back for tonight." He said. I looked out the back window at the tray. Why would we need that?

"Why? Are you gonna murder me and throw me in there before you dump the body?" I asked the first thing that came to mind. I looked back at Vic who looked a little disturbed.

"You're kind of morbid." He said. I shrugged, faced forward and let my mind wander to all the things we might be doing. Maybe the typical, cliché, laying in the back while looking up at the stars? Even if that was his idea, I wouldn't care, as long as I was spending time with him.

"I've never been on a date before." I said randomly. He looked at me, a little surprised.

"Really? I thought you would have had guys jumping at the chance to be with you." He said. I raised my eyebrows at that.

"What makes you think that?" I asked. He looked back at the road bashfully.

"I don't know," He muttered, "Because you're attractive and-"

"You think I'm attractive?" I asked, loving the compliments he was throwing my way. I knew I was probably making him a little uncomfortable by making him elaborate on this, but I did it anyway.

"Yeah, obviously." He said. I turned my body so I was facing him more and smiled brightly.

"Why?" I asked. He glanced at me, looking me up and down.

"Are you really going to make me list all the things attractive about you?" He questioned. I nodded quickly.

"Yes, now tell." I said. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Fine...your lips," He started and I subconsciously bit my bottom one, "They look...kissable." He said shyly.

"All lips are kissable, doofus." I teased.

"I know that! Shut up." He grumbled. I just smiled wider.

"What else?" I asked.

"Hmm, your skin. It's flawless, almost like porcelain. Your eyes. I like green. And, umm...your body." He said quickly.

"My body, huh?" I asked.

"Yes, your body," He sighed, "He have nice legs and a great ass, are you happy now?" He asked.

"You're so cute when you're nervous." I said. I leaned towards him and kissed his cheek quickly before relaxing back in the seat.

"You want to listen to some music?" He changed the subject and switched on the radio.

"Sure. How long until we get there?" I asked. I was an impatient person and the fact that I had no idea where we were going was eating me up inside.

"Like an hour, I guess." He said. I nodded and looked out the window. We were almost out of town now and moving along to the next one. At least this time alone together would give us an opportunity to talk. I would have rather made him pull over and do him in the backseat, but he seemed so adamant on making us wait a while before the physical stuff. I really wanted it though, but for right now I was behaving and simply conversing with him like a normal person.

Most first dates you would think would be really awkward, but I felt like I already knew Vic well, even though I really didn't, but it felt like it, so we felt comfortable around each other. We hadn't been together for very long but it felt like it's been longer. We were able to tease each other and be idiots around each other like we had been dating for a month, but it hasn't even been a week. Time went quickly when I was with him so soon enough the hour was up and Vic was telling me that we were here.

"Where exactly is 'here'?" I asked. We had been driving along a somewhat deserted road and Vic had pulled into somewhere but it was too dark to see.

"We're at a drive-in movie." He said.

"Seriously?" I asked, getting excited.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be a good idea because it's dark and we don't really have to leave the car so no one will see us, plus I'm pretty sure no one from school would have come all the way out here since there's the same drive-in movies closer to home." He explained. Wow, this was actually a really cool idea, and cute too.

"I've never been to one of these before. I didn't even know they still existed." I said.

"Well, they do. So, I hope you're into these kinds of things." He said. I smiled and nodded.

"I am, as long as I'm doing it with you." I said, blushing at my own cheesy comment.

"You can be so sweet when you're not being the spawn of Satan." He teased. I just rolled my eyes at the comment as he drove up to a little building with a window. He paid for us, which was nice, and drove into what looked like a parking lot. I could see more clearly now that we were in. There was a large screen which wasn't on yet, plus quite a few cars parked throughout the lot. Vic found us a spot and backed the car up into it so we were facing away from the screen. Suddenly it made sense why he needed the pick-up truck. We both got out and went around to the back. He took the cover off the back and inside there were piles of pillows

"This is so perfect." I told him. The fact that someone actually went through an effort to do something for me was astonishing.

"You think so?" He asked. I looked across the car at him.

"Yeah, I mean, imagine what we could get up to in here." I said suggestively. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"If by that you mean watch a movie together, then yeah, I can imagine that."

"Aw Vic, I love the hard to get act, believe me the challenge is exciting, but you know you're going to give in so you might as well make it sooner rather than later." I told him. He just smiled and shook his head, shrugging off the comment.

"Just get in, would you? I'm going to go get us some popcorn and drinks. Do you like popcorn?" He asked. I just nodded as I climbed up the side and into the tray, landing on the soft pillows.

"Alright I'll be back in a few minutes." He said and walked off. I just lay there staring up at the stars. It was a clear night tonight, no clouds in the sky. It had gotten just a little colder during our trip here. I sat up and looked around. We had cars on either side of us, but they were situated a good distance away. People were in the back of their pick-up trucks like we were but I couldn't see them properly so I knew they wouldn't be able to see us. I guess it's kind of risky doing this, but it's highly unlikely we'll get seen by anyone we know. People usually stick to their own towns around here.

A few minutes later Vic was climbing into the back and handing me a box of popcorn and a bottle of mountain dew. I shifted around so we were side by side and facing the screen. The pillows were propped up so we leant against them comfortably.

"So what gave you this idea?" I asked before I shoved a handful of popcorn into my mouth, quite ungracefully I might add.

"I saw an ad for the local drive-in and thought it'd be a good idea so I did a little searching and found this place." He said.

"Oh okay, well it's a really good idea." I said and moved closer, taking in his warmth.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"A little." I shrugged. He pulled a blanket over us and kissed my cheek softly. I was going to die from how sweet all of this was. Butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach and I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"You're such a gentlemen." I told him.

"Well if I'm taking you out on your first date then I'm going to do it right." He said. That made a question pop into my mind.

"How many first dates have you been on?" I asked.

"A few," He shrugged, "None with anyone quite like you though."

"Hm, I don't know if that's a good or bad thing." I said.

"A little of both." He teased. I nudged his side playfully.

"Whatever, what's the movie we're seeing anyway?" I asked.

"Well..." He started, sounding nervous. Oh God, what did he bring me to? "Umm, it's Paranormal Activity 5, The Marked Ones."

"You brought me to a horror movie?" I asked in a deadpan voice. Back on the biology trip he saw how scared I was when Tony was telling horror stories, yet he brought me here?

"I know, I'm sorry. I know you don't like them but it was all that was showing." He said. I sighed, rolled my eyes and shuffled away from him.

"Oh come on, don't be like that." He said and moved towards me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. He nuzzled his nose into my neck and kissed me. My skin went hot and tingly. Okay, that's not fair. He can't just say we can't do physical stuff and then kiss me there. It doesn't work like that.

"You know fear just turns people on, right?" I asked.

"What?" He asked quickly, moving away again.

"Fear...it makes people want to get close to someone and seek comfort. I think that's the reason you brought me here. You're clearly trying to seduce me." I said.

"Am not." He said defensively.

"Are too." I said and moved back over to him.

"Am not." He argued back like a child. I just rolled my eyes and didn't reply because the lights in the parking lot went down and the screen lit up.

"It won't be that scary. I promise." He said and kissed my cheek.

"Whatever." I mumbled, faking being angry.

"You're cute." He said, making me blush.

"I know." I said. I leant into him and continued eating my popcorn as the movie began. It didn't particularly start off scary, so I was fine, especially when Vic held onto my hand.

Half way through the movie and we had set our drinks and popcorn to the side. We lay down and he pulled me close to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and my arm was across his stomach. It was so comfy and cosy here surrounded by pillows and blankets. Even though I wasn't a fan of horror movies I actually didn't want it to end because I didn't want this moment to end.

As the movie got further into the second half and towards the end, the scarier it got. There were a lot of moments that made me jump, and made Vic hold me tighter. He started playing with my hair and that's when I tuned out of the movie, not wanting to pay attention to it. I looked up at Vic who was still watching. I was bored now and since the date was coming to an end and who knows when I'd get some alone time with him again, I decided to make the most of it. I tilted my head up and kissed his jawline. He looked at me, smiling.

"You're not watching the movie?" He asked. I shook my head slowly.

"Nope." I said simply. I moved my lips closer to his and let them hover there for a moment before kissing him. I deepened the kiss and when he realized that this wasn't going to be just a short, sweet peck, he kissed me back. The movie was forgotten as I climbed on top of him, straddling his thin, but muscular body. He held my hips tightly, but also gently at the same time. I slid my tongue into his mouth, turning this into one hell of a make out session. It was getting really heated in the back of this truck. I rocked my body against his. He gasped in surprise and gently pushed me away.

"Kell, we should stop here." He whispered.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked and trailed light kisses down his jaw. He didn't say anything as I got to his neck. I nibbled on his collarbone and kept grinding against him. I could feel that he was just as turned on as I was. The more friction I created, the harder I got. I was breathing heavily and so was he.

"R-really...we shouldn't." He said. His body was telling a different story. His cold hands slipped up my hoodie and shirt, gliding across my warm skin and making me shiver.

"But I want you." I whispered flirtatiously into his ear. I played with the edge of his jeans, teasing him, and then he surprised me suddenly by taking control. He quickly pulled my shirt and hoodie off then rolled us over, pushing me onto my back. He pressed his body against mine and kissed me hungrily. He had my wrists pinned to the blankets below us. My jeans were unbearably tight by now. I got my wrists free and pushed his shirt up. He broke away from the kiss for a moment to take it off and was back on me in a second. I couldn't stop feeling his body. He felt so warm against me. This was moving really fast but I wasn't complaining. I brought my hand down to the front of his jeans and rubbed him through the material. He pulled out of the kiss and looked at me, lust clouding his eyes. He was so hard and that just turned me on even more. I went to his belt buckle and that's when he stopped me.

"Wait," He said breathlessly and took my hand.

"Oh come on, don't back out now." I said. He gave me an apologetic look and I knew that he wouldn't back down.

"I'm sorry." He said. I sighed in frustration. I was achingly hard and he just has to go and stop it because of his dumb conscience.

"I shouldn't have let it go this far." He said, getting off of me. He lay back down next to me. I looked up at the stars, silently, trying to calm myself down because fuck I was really horny now.

"Your morals really suck sometimes." I said.

"I know." He said and moved closer. He pulled me against him in the same position we were in when we were watching the movie. I was conflicted. I knew I should respect his wishes, but I really, and I mean really, wanted to go further with him. That's the battle that was going on in my head for the rest of the movie. When it ended I had barely even noticed until Vic sat up.

"Are you okay?" He asked me. He looked really guilty.

"Of course I am. Don't worry about it." I said and kissed him.

"For the record, I really did want to go further." He said.

"Then you should have. If we both want it then what's the problem?" I asked and rested my hand against his thigh, rubbing lightly. He took my hand stopping me.

"I'm trying to do the right thing." He said.

"You just made out with your student. There's no such thing as the right thing anymore." I said to convince him. I kissed him again, wrapping my hand around his neck to keep him in place. He kissed back and like a switch I was turned on again. It was difficult not to be after all of that. The cars around us started up and Vic pulled away, sighing. He really was trying hard.

"Come on, let's go." He said and went to grab his shirt, but I took it from him.

"At least let me look at you shirtless on the way home." I said with a teasing smile. He rolled his eyes.

"Fine, whatever." He said. We got out of the back, covered it and got back in the car. He started it and we were on our way home, going in a different direction to most other cars since we were going out of town. I sighed and turned in my seat to look at him. This would be a lot easier if he wasn't so attractive. He glanced at me and back at the road.

"You know, it really is best that we stopped. We wouldn't want to regret doing something in the heat of the moment." He said.

"I wouldn't regret anything." I said. I made up my mind to try and seduce him again, so I took my seat belt off and moved closer.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said innocently. I leaned forward and kissed his neck

"Kellin...behave." He warned me.

"But I don't want to behave." I said and put my hand on his thigh. He didn't do anything to stop me. He wants this just as bad as I do.

"You should pull the car over." I said, kissing his neck again and again, over and over.

"I shouldn't." He said, but not convincingly. I palmed the hard bulge in his jeans.

"Come on, Vic. You're hard, don't you want the release?" I asked seductively. His breathing hitched and I rubbed him faster, making him moan.

"Pull over." I whispered, nibbling on his ear. He didn't do anything, so I decided to tease him. I moved away and sat back in my seat.

"Okay, I get it, you don't want it." I said. He looked at me, the frustration clearly showing in his eyes. I smiled innocently.

"Fuck it." He said and pulled the car over on the side of the road. I smiled triumphantly as he unclicked his seat belt. He pulled the lever on his chair that made it slide back, and then he grabbed my arm, pulling me towards him. I didn't need to be told what to do. I climbed on top of him, tangling my fingers in his hair as my lips attacked his. I knew he wouldn't be willing to go all the way with me, but I didn't care, I just really needed the release, and really wanted to make him feel good; even if it's only by touching him with my hands.

"You know...my tongue is very talented." I said, insinuating that I wanted to give him a blow job. I thought I'd try my luck, but he rejected it.

"No, not that, not yet." He breathed. I just kissed him and undid his belt buckle. He did the same to me and in no time his hand was slipping past my boxers and grabbing hold of me. I gasped against his lips as he rubbed me. With shaky hands I tugged his jeans down and pulled him out, stroking him. He kissed me harder as he too pulled my jeans down. We sat there, on the side of the road, in the car giving each other hand jobs and honestly it was the hottest thing I've ever done.

"You're so hard." I said, stroking him faster. He moaned and kissed my neck. I accidentally leaned back, falling against the steering wheel and making the horn beep. He laughed and pulled me back to him.

"Come back here." He said, kissing my lips again.

I had been so constrained in my jeans but now that I wasn't and he was touching me I felt relieved. I acted confident all the time, but the second I'm doing something sexual it's like I'm putty in the other person's hands. My lips were quivering and I was finding it hard to control myself. I groaned, pushing myself harder against his hand.

"Oh God," He moaned. I loved the sound of his moan. It was so hot. I wanted to hear it again. I ran my thumb over his tip, making him gasp and thrust his hips up. I stopped kissing him so I could look at him.

"Are you close?" I asked. He nodded.

"Me too." I whispered. I knew that after being so worked up that we wouldn't last long. The pleasure had been pooling in the pit of my stomach for a while now, but I had been trying to hold back. He moved his hand faster, jerking me off so quickly, and I came undone, moaning desperately. I buried my face into his neck, resting my head against his shoulder, my hips moving back and forth, thrusting myself faster into his hand.

"Oh Vic, please...p-please." I breathed. I wouldn't last much longer. My free hand clung to the door handle tightly as my climax washed over me. I groaned, shooting over his stomach, his hand never slowing down. It felt fucking amazing.

"Do you have any idea how hot you are?" He practically growled. I sped my hand up, desperate to make him come. As I came down from my high I pulled back to look at him. He looked me in the eyes as he moaned. I kissed him, pumping him quicker and his hips jerked as he came. He moaned and I didn't miss a beat, making sure he was well and truly satisfied. It was a truly amazing feeling to bring this kind of pleasure to someone, especially someone that I care for.

Once we were both done the realization of what had happened hit. I pulled out of the kiss and looked at him cautiously.

"No regrets." I said. It wasn't a request, it was an order. He nodded in agreement and with his hand that wasn't still slowly stroking me, he wrapped it around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. I couldn't believe that we just did that, but I felt so good about it now.

"That was fun." He said when we pulled away. I was so glad that he wasn't freaking out over this. I looked down at the mess we made and grinned.

"It was a lot of fun. But you know what this means, right?" I asked.

"What?"

"Now that we've done this, we'll be doing a lot more." I said. He just smiled and shook his head before changing the subject.

"Come on, I've gotta get you home." He said. I brushed my nose against his lightly then kissed him quickly before getting off him and we headed home.

Chapter Text

I couldn't remember a time when I had been in a better mood. During my morning classes I felt hyperactive and everything was distracting me. I couldn't sit still and was eagerly counting down the seconds until I could go and see Vic. My friends kept questioning me about my "bizarre" behavior, but I saw nothing bizarre about it. I was just happy, but they all seemed a little freaked out by my mood. I didn't care though because there were five minutes until I was allowed to see Vic.

"Kellin!" My English teacher got my attention. My eyes shot up to her quickly. She was a fairly old lady, but nice enough.

"Yes? What?" I asked quickly.

"Could you stop that incessant tapping?" She asked. I looked down my pen which I had been absent-mindedly tapping for the past, well, I don't even know how long.

"Yes, yes I can. Sure." I said energetically, my voice feeling a little shaky. Okay, maybe it was a little weird to be this excited and happy. From my left Tay gave me a weird look. I just smiled and looked out the window, tapping my foot against the ground now. I felt so jittery.

"Have you taken like, I don't know, speed or any other drug today?" Tay whispered. My head whipped around to look at her and I shook it quickly.

"Nope." I said with a smile. She gave me an odd look and went back to her work. Why was it strange that I was in a good mood? She had been in a good mood not too long ago when we had class with Alex. Speaking of them, they seemed to be doing fine. I asked Alex if he had come to his senses and he just told me I had nothing to worry about and that was that. Him and Tay were back to being the perfect couple they always were.

My train of thought stopped abruptly when the bell rang and I was first to jump out of my seat. I swooped up my things and maneuvered my way through the desks.

"Later Mrs S, love the shoes by the way. Lookin' dashing." I complimented before leaving the classroom. I dropped my books off at my locker before I practically skipped my way to Vic's office. When I got there I decided to knock because l didn't want to walk in on him with anyone like I had done with Alex. When he opened the door I smiled brightly, then remembered I was in a hall full of students so I didn't want to seem too happy to be seeing Vic.

"Kellin, come in." Vic said in his "teacher" voice. He moved aside and I walked into the empty office. I turned to him as he shut the door and flicked the lock. He looked at me, smiling that beautiful smile of his.

"I missed you." I said and stepped forward. I put my hands around his neck and pulled him closer.

"It's only been a day since you saw me." He said.

"I know, but after what happened it's no surprise I can't stop thinking about you." I said.

"Really?" He question.

"Mhm." I pulled him closer and kissed his lips. I felt a lot calmer now that I was with him. I went from excitable to just happy and content to be around him again. He pulled away first and took my hand. He led me towards the chairs and desk, but I tugged on his hand, pulling him towards the couch. He sighed and simply obeyed. I pushed him down and then sat on his lap with both legs resting on the couch to one side. I turned his face to me and kissed him deeply. I really couldn't get enough of him. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. My feelings were getting stronger towards him with every minute we were together. I feel like a lovesick 13 year old boy. It's horrible, but amazing. Once again he was the one to stop the kiss and I looked at him with a smile.

"I feel like I should get a pay cut for spending my working time doing this." He said.

"On the contrary, your job is supposed to make students feel better, right? Well I feel great." I said. He smiled and brushed my bangs out of my eyes, then trailed his fingers down the side of my face lightly.

"You're in a good mood today." He said.

"Of course I am. I'm with you." I said sweetly. I kissed him again. We only get like half an hour together today so I wanted to make the most of it. I deepened the kiss, slipping my tongue in his mouth. The familiar fire ignited inside me; the same one I had when we were together on the weekend. It was easy to get all worked up when I'm with him. I wonder if he'd be up for fooling around in here. Probably not.

"So, I take you're completely okay with what happened on the weekend?" He asked when he once again stopped kissing me. He sure did like to talk.

"Of course I am. Are you?" I asked. On Sunday I spent most of the day thinking that he'll probably freak out and distance himself from me, but it didn't look like he was going to.

"I am, actually," He said, sounding a little surprised at himself, "It was really fun." His expression changed to one more serious though.

"But...?" I questioned.

"Uh...well I just gotta ask...you didn't tell anyone, did you? Not Tay or, whoever?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Of course not. Don't you trust me?" I asked, feeling a bit offended.

"I do...it's just that you seem so casual about this whole thing." He said. Uh oh, someone's feeling insecure.

"I'm casual about everything. That's just who I am, but trust me when I say I wouldn't do that to you." I said. He nodded, accepting what I had said.

"Okay." He said simply and I could tell he trusted and believed me. I was feeling a little uncomfortable sitting like this, so I moved around so I was straddling him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and he had his on my hips. He looked really relaxed and content sitting there.

"I have to admit, I'm a little surprised that you're okay with what we did on the weekend. I thought for sure I would have gotten a lecture about how we shouldn't be doing these things." I told him.

"I know," He said with a sigh, "But I was thinking about this a lot yesterday..."

My eyes flicked down to his neck, and even though he was talking about something serious, I couldn't help myself and leaned forward to kiss it while he continued on talking.

"I've been trying to hold back because it's like this moral dilemma. I know it's wrong, but after the weekend I realized that I just can't keep my distance." He said. I was paying attention, really, I was, but I was also focused on nibbling on his collarbone. His breathing was labored as he continued on.

"I mean, like, I've already broken the law. There's no going back. I'm past that threshold." He told me. This was all very true. I liked where this conversation was going. Maybe now it wouldn't be so difficult for me to seduce him. I trailed my hands down his body and kissed up his neck again.

"Keep talking, I'm listening." I said, and he continued.

"I don't want to be constantly holding back with you. That's not fair to you, or to me. We already have to hold back because I'm your teacher. But when we're alone I want it to be as normal as possible." He said, and with those words I palmed the bulge forming in his pants.

"Really, Kellin? Here?" He asked, sounding defeated.

"You just said you want to be normal, right?" I whispered into his ear, "Well this is normal."

I moved off his lap and got on my knees in front of him. I looked up into his eyes and undid his belt.

"Not here." He said firmly, but I wouldn't listen. I finished with his belt and loosened his jeans.

"Don't you love the danger of it all? The fact that there are people walking up and down the halls who could hear you if you make a sound. Or even the people in surrounding classrooms?" I questioned. I pulled the jeans down, along with his boxers and grabbed hold of him, lightly stroking.

"I guess...but I don't want to get caught." He said.

"The door is locked. The only way people would know is if you're too loud, so it's all up to you to stay quiet. Just relax." I said. I leant forward and firmly pressed my tongue on his shaft before licking up the whole length, stopping at the tip to lightly kiss it. He sighed deeply and I looked up at him again, waiting for a yes or no. He looked contemplative, but then he ran his fingers through my hair and nodded.

"Do that again." He said. I smiled and once again licked him from base to tip. He gasped and twitched. As I licked him for a third time I could feel he was getting harder. I loved the feeling of knowing I was turning someone on. I licked my lips, making them wet and brushed them across his sensitive tip. I wasn't lying on Saturday night when I said I was talented with my tongue and mouth. I knew I was good at this. With Oli I could usually have him coming within a minute or two.

I slowly swirled my tongue around his tip. I was teasing him now just with licking and kisses. His breathing was getting heavier and I could tell he was frustrated.

"Just suck it." He gasped when my tongue flicked over his tip for the fifth time. I looked up, surprised by his words and how forward he was. His eyes were dark, clouded with lust. I loved this side of Vic. I had a feeling that after we're together for a while and he's completely comfortable with me and sex with me, that he'll be the domineering type, which is kind of opposite to how we actually are outside of sexual activities.

"Please?" He added desperately when I hadn't done anything. I smiled and took him in my mouth, sucking hard. I could feel him throbbing. I had really gotten him worked up. I bobbed my head up and down, taking him all the way in until he hit the back of my throat. His fingers tangled tightly in my hair as he choked back a moan. He slid into my mouth easily and every time he'd go back out I'd play with his tip.

"Fucking hell, Kellin." He breathed. I took that as a good sign. He gyrated his hips up to try and get more of him in me. I couldn't fit any more in my mouth so I bobbed my head quicker to satisfy him. His panting was getting desperate and it was the hottest fucking sound. He moaned quietly over and over again. I held the bottom half so I could pump him while I stopped talking and looked up at him.

"Are you gonna come in my mouth, baby?" I asked tauntingly, basically challenging him to do it. He groaned quietly and nodded quickly, unable to form words. I smirked and took him back in my mouth, sucking him and stroking at the same time. His body trembled, indicating that he was close.

"Kellin..." He said in a warning tone. I just kept going and soon he was muffling back a groan as he bucked his hips and the salty liquid was filling my mouth. Like a good boy, I swallowed, of course. I took my mouth off him, making a popping sound and licked him clean. This was different to the other times I've given blow jobs. The other times it was just that; a job. It was a chore with the goal of getting the person off. With Vic I just really wanted to make him feel good and when I was done it was worth it, because looking up at his face I could tell that I just made his day and that was a good feeling.

"Shit, that was hot." He gasped. I smiled brightly and he smiled back. With his finger he motioned for me to come to him, so I got up and he was quick to grab hold of my hips and push me onto my back on the couch. He pushed my shirt up a little and kissed my stomach right where the top of my jeans were. Just at that moment though there was a knock on the door and Vic shot up, moving away from me.

"Relax. Door's locked." I reminded him quietly.

"Mr Fuentes, are you in there?" The familiar sound of the principal's voice asked.

"Yeah, just a moment." Vic said and stood up quickly, doing his jeans up. He pointed for me to go over to the desk so I sighed and got up. I was actually pretty hard right now in my jeans, but they were tight so you couldn't really tell. I went over to the desk and sat in the normal chair that students were supposed to. I looked at Vic. He stood by the door, quickly looked around to make sure everything looked normal, then opened it revealing principal Holland.

"Principal Holland," He greeted, "Is there a problem?"

"No, no problem. I just need to see you briefly in my office to discuss a student's suspension last week." Principal Holland said in a hushed tone, although I could hear every word.

"Uh yeah, sure," Vic sounded a little flustered, "Sorry, Kellin. We're going to have to cut this session short." He said to me. I stood up and gave a glare.

"Good, I don't want to be here anyway." I said like the angsty teenager I was supposed to be. I was a good actor when I wanted to be. I walked towards them, out the door and stormed down the empty hallway, pretending that I was mad. I turned back to look at the two of them walking in a different direction. Vic glanced back at me and I smiled before blowing him a kiss. He smiled briefly before turning back around. I kept walking down the hall with a fluttering feeling in my chest and a smile on my face.

Chapter Text

Vic's POV:

I sat at my desk grading papers, something that I didn't realize would take up so much time as a teacher. I had just finished looking at Kellin's and was disappointed to find that he would probably fail Biology if he doesn't get his act together. I made a mental note to ask if he needs tutoring, although knowing Kellin I'm sure there would be less tutoring and more him attempting to seduce me.

I looked away from the papers and stared off as I daydreamed about Kellin. I've never had someone on my mind as much as he had been on it. As much as I tried to keep away from him, once he wormed his way into my life I knew it'd be impossible to stay away. I didn't mind all that much now. I care about him a lot and I think he's worth the risk. I like him a lot and although it's wrong it's just something I can't stop no matter how hard I tried, so I stopped trying and accepted it.

I sighed and lean back in my chair. I felt like I had gone through a battle with him. He won, of course. He managed to win me over even though I had been infatuated with him since we first met. I was constantly afraid that someone would find out and I'd lose my job, or worse, get sent to jail, but as time went on the more confident I got. With every day the worry faded away and I started to treat Kellin like an actual boyfriend, not someone who I'm supposed to be holding at arm's length. I think yesterday was an indication that I was changing. Ask me a week ago if I thought I'd be doing something sexual with a student in my office and I would have probably given you a horrified look, but now it was all I could think about.

There was a knock on a door and my heart started racing fast. You know when you're thinking about something you shouldn't and it takes you to a different world, then you get snapped back to reality and think you've gotten caught thinking about it? Well that's how I felt right now. I was constantly on edge. I took a deep breath to relax and dropped the pen I was holding before getting up and walking over to the door. I didn't have any students booked in for appointments so I wondered who it could be. My first hope was for Kellin, but no such luck. I opened the door and standing there was Alex Gaskarth, one of the students here, who is also a friend of Kellin and Mike.

"Alex, is everything alright?" I asked the timid-looking boy. Other than when he was over my house visiting Mike, I had only spoken to him once before. He visited me here and admitted he was confused about his sexuality, but left before I could question it.

"I um, I know I don't have an appointment with you or anything, but do you think we could, like, talk?" he asked.

"Of course," I said and stepped aside so he could walk in. I shut the door behind us and we both went to our respective chairs, sitting down. I gazed at him across the desk. He looked so nervous, like he was about to be sick. He didn't speak, so I did first.

"I'm glad you decided to come back," I said truthfully. I had been wondering if he was okay since our first brief meeting.

"Yeah...Well I wasn't really sure if I wanted to talk about it and stuff...but now, I don't know, I feel like I need to," he mumbled. His cheeks went a rosy pink color. He was definitely embarrassed to be here.

"There's no need to feel uncomfortable in here, Alex. Everything is confidential. It stays between the two of us," I reassured him. He looked a little awkward but nodded anyway.

"So," I started, "Last time you were here we didn't get very far, but you said you were questioning your sexuality."

"Um, yeah...I still kind of am," he said.

"What triggered these thoughts?" I asked. I thought it would be the usual; maybe finding a guy in the locker room attractive, or having feelings for a classmate, any classmate, but I wasn't expecting to hear his reply.

"My friend, Kellin, kissed me," he said. I almost dropped the pen I had been twirling around in my fingers.

"What?" I asked, a little stunned.

"Yeah...he kissed me. I mean it was just as a joke but...I don't know. It felt, I don't know. I just don't know anymore," he said, sounding defeated. I should have been the professional guidance counsellor that I was supposed to be, but I was being selfish and dwelling on the fact that my boyfriend kissed someone else.

"When did that happen?" I asked curiously.

"Last Wednesday morning," he said. I felt myself relax a little. Kellin and I had only gotten together on Wednesday, so I guess it happened before then.

"Okay, so do you have feelings for him?" I asked. I was feeling defensive now. Kellin was mine, although no one knew it yet.

"No, I don't know. Probably not, but I'm supposed to be straight so I'm supposed to be grossed out by kissing another dude, right?" he asked.

"Well, you're not supposed to be straight, for one. You are who you are. There are no boundaries. I thought I was straight for a long time and it turns out I wasn't," I said. He looked horrified at the prospect.

"Oh God, that can't happen to me too. I'm with Tay and I love her. I can't be...I-I can't..." He was freaking out now.

"It's okay, Alex. You know you can be into both females and males, right? Nothing actually has to change. You can still be with Tay but acknowledge that you might be attracted to males as well," I said. Alex seemed very impressionable and took on board everything I said. He nodded slowly.

"I guess you're right. It's just so confusing, and like now I keep testing myself to see if I'm gay or not," he said.

"Testing yourself how?" I asked.

"I don't know. Dumb shit like...like watching gay porn too see if...you know. I'm sorry, this is really weird," he said, looking embarrassed.

"It's okay. Did you try anything else? Like with another male in real life," I asked. Secretly I was just trying to see if anything happened with him and Kellin again. I wasn't expecting him to say yes, but when he did my heart dropped.

"Well I kissed Kellin again," he admitted.

"When?" I asked, quickly.

"Um...last Friday at your house actually," he told me. That simply infuriated me.

"What was Kellin's reaction?" I asked. All intentions of trying to guide and counsel Alex were gone and I was just focused on this jealousy boiling in me. I was hurt too.

"Why does it matter? It doesn't matter," he said dismissively.

"Well I think you should stop kissing him. You're with Tay, right? You should respect her," I snapped. He started looking more uncomfortable.

"But how will I know if I'm into guys?" he asked.

"I don't know, but cheating isn't the way to do it," I said harshly. Alex looked somewhat taken aback and that's when I realized just how unprofessional I was being.

"Right, um, well thanks for the talk but I'm gonna go," he said and picked his bag up from the ground. I didn't try to stop him as he walked from the room.

"Shit," I sighed in frustration. That was a bit of a disaster. I didn't mean to act like that towards Alex, but I guess I was just mad at Kellin. I had no idea him and Alex had kissed on Friday. I spoke to him after Alex left and was acting normal, or as normal as Kellin could be. I literally had no clue that he had done that. Does that count as cheating? I don't know, but I did know that I really wanted to bring it up with Kellin, but how could I when these sessions were confidential? I can't just let this slide though, right?

—-

Kellin'S POV:

I made my way to Vic's office , excited like usual to see him. I knocked on the door and after he called out for me to come in, I opened it. I smiled at him as I locked it behind me.

"Hey!" I said happily. He gave a smile, but didn't get up.

"Hi, take a seat," he said. I frowned. No hello kiss today? That was a little odd, but I guess he's not in the mood for it. I went over to the chair directly across from him and sat down.

"So...what's up?" I asked a little awkwardly. I definitely felt like something was up.

"You're failing biology," he said quickly in a judgemental tone.

"Um, yeah, it's not one of my strong points. You know that," I told him. He nodded. He was being so blunt and cold with me. I was so confused.

"I'm going to recommend that you get some one on one tutoring. I can arrange for someone on the student tutoring committee to help you," he said.

"I don't want help. I don't care if I fail," I said. He knew that too.

"I think that you should get the tutoring, just a little bit of it. I know some students who are good at biology. I'm sure they could help you," he said.

"Why can't you just tutor me?" I asked. I had the urge to make a flirtatious remark, but I felt like now wasn't the time. The way he spoke was so emotionless and distant. It made me feel uncomfortable.

"I can't. You'll get another student," he said simply and looked down at his desk. My mood had plummeted so much from when I first walked into the office. He was acting different, weird. He was back to being a teacher and talking all professionally. I didn't understand. The last time I saw him we were more than friendly with each other.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He looked up at me, hesitating.

"Nothing," he said but I could tell it was a lie.

"No really, have I done something or...?" I questioned. Once again the hesitation was there. That meant I did something wrong. I wracked my brain trying to think of what it could be. Maybe fooling around in his office yesterday was too much. Maybe he freaked out when principal Holland interrupted us.

"It....it doesn't matter. How are you with your other classes?" he changed the subject.

"They're fine. Tell me what's wrong with you," I demanded. He just looked at me, not saying anything.

"Was it something principal Holland said yesterday? Or did I go too far yesterday when we were in here?" I asked.

"No, no it's not that," he said.

"Then what is it?" I asked.

"I can't tell you," he said, aggravating me further.

"You can't tell me? Wow that's a really fucking awesome relationship we have then, huh?" I asked. My anger was rising, and when I was angry it came quick. He didn't say anything. Why? I don't know, and at this point I really didn't give a fuck.

"Fine. Be an asshole," I said and stood up quickly. I knocked my chair over in the process and stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut.

I was fuming! I hate getting ignored, really, I do. I'm so used to it at home with my parents but I thought Vic was different. I thought he gave a damn about me but he's already keeping things from me? And only less than a week into our relationship? I was mad, really, really mad. I felt like I was disrespected.

I went to my locker and paced around in front of it. I felt restless and I couldn't help it. I wanted to calm down. I told myself to calm down but I was just so angry. I needed to do something but I didn't have class right now. I was supposed to be in a session with that fucking jerk. I put my back against the lockers and slid down them. I hit the floor in my rage. Seriously, who does he think he is?

Time seemed to go by really fast. It felt like I was sitting there for a second before I heard Vic's voice and I realized I was sitting there for a lot longer. Maybe I had started to calm down, who knows, but the sound of him ignited that spark and once again I was seeing red.

"Kellin, can we talk, please?" he asked. My eyes shot up in a glare.

"Oh so now you wanna talk?" I asked with attitude.

"Yes, I do. Please come back to my office for a minute," he said, still acting so fucking professional.

"Go fuck yourself," I said, the words spilling from my mouth without thinking about them first.

"Please don't be like this. I'm trying to fix this," he said, still using that cold tone.

"Are you going to tell me why you're being a dick?" I asked. The insults wouldn't stop. I didn't know if I wanted them to or not.

"Yes," he said. I thought about it. I didn't want to be near him right now but I also wanted to know what his problem was, so I stood up and marched past him, back towards his office. I walked in and stood in the middle of the room with my arms crossed.

"Go ahead," I said when the door was shut and locked. He sighed, giving in to my demands.

"I shouldn't be telling you this so you have to promise me you won't say anything," he said. I was now well and truly intrigued. He actually looked like he was having a tough time with the decision to tell me whatever it is he wanted to tell me. I let my guard down a bit, calming down slightly.

"I promise," I said. He nodded then spoke again.

"Okay...your friend Alex came to see me today," he said.

"And?" I questioned. It was probably pretty dumb of me to not put the pieces together, but I was dumb in all reality so I needed it spelt out to me.

"He told me you two kissed last Friday," he said. I blinked a few times in shock. I had more or less forgotten about that incident. It felt like it happened a long time ago.

"So?" I asked. This time he was the one that got mad.

"So? So you kissed another boy! And in my own house no less. I get it, you don't take anything seriously, but I thought that you could at least take our relationship seriously and not go around kissing other guys. I put so much on the line for you and you clearly don't care if you go around doing that," he said, sounding annoyed.

I laughed at how ridiculous this was. No, actually, I laughed because I'm a complete idiot. I thought Vic was different, I really did. I thought he thought better of me. I guess not.

"Thanks for not having any faith in me. Thank you so, so much for jumping to the conclusion that I'm a cheater," I said sarcastically. He looked a little confused, so I continued.

"He kissed me and I told him off for it. Do you think I wanted that? No. What kind of person do you think I am? What you think I'm some kind of man whore who hooks up with everything I see? Oh yeah, you probably do think that. Everyone thinks that of me so why should I expect you to be any different from them? I would never do that to Tay either. I told Alex to never pull something like that with me again, and yeah I lied to you about it, but it had nothing to do with us. It was hardly an issue. But it's great to see that you, like the rest of the world, thinks so badly of me," I said bitterly.

He didn't say anything. After both of our little outbursts we were left in silence. I couldn't tell if he believed me or not. Was that regret on his face? Or annoyance? I had no idea. All I knew was what I was feeling; complete and utter fury. The bell rang, breaking the silence. I had another class to get to which was a much better option than sticking around here. I walked past him and to the door.

"Kellin, wait. I'm sorry," he said, but his apology went by unnoticed. I was too pissed off to care right now. I made my way to my next class; gym. I usually hated gym, but right now I could probably use a bit of physical exercise. I got to the lockers, got changed along with the other boys from my class and walked out onto the football field. Alex was supposed to be in this class, but from what I could see, he didn't turn up. That was probably for the best too. If he were here I wouldn't be able to hold back on my anger towards him. I can't believe he told Vic that. Obviously he had been talking to him about his confused sexuality, which by the way made me angry all over again because he was supposed to be just focusing on Tay.

"Wow, Mr. Quinn. You actually showed up to class," Coach McKinnon said sarcastically with a look of surprise on his face when he saw me. I was in no mood for his attitude right now.

"How about you just teach the fucking class," I snapped. A bunch of gasps were heard from other students. McKinnon glared at me. Oh if looks could kill.

"Just for that, you can do laps of the field for the whole class. Go," he ordered. I stared him down. I was trying to contain my anger, really, I was. Something inside of me was telling me to push it down but my brain wasn't letting me.

"You know what, I really don't have time for this bullshit," I said and turned to walk away. Walking away would be the best option.

"Quinn you get back here or so help me I'll-"

"You'll what?" I asked, turning to face him again. I had the attention of the whole class and that just fuelled my little act of rebellion even more, "You'll buy a shorter pair of gym shorts so we can finally see your tiny dick through them?"

"That's it! Office, now!" he shouted. His own anger coming through. He never had any time for student's bullshit, but he was about to have time for mine.

"Don't fucking shout at me!" I screamed back, getting up closer to him.

"You're a student! I'm a teacher! Do as you're told!" he roared. It was the student comment that ticked me off and I wasn't too sure why. I was looking for a fight, I knew that, so it was no surprise to me that I swung my fist at McKinnon, sending him to the ground. He wasn't expecting it. He looked down right surprised. In my rage I went for more but was held back by two of the guys from the class. Coach McKinnon looked up at me from the ground, wiping blood from his mouth. I felt nothing.

"Take him to the principal, tell him what happened," he said to the two boys and I didn't even fight it as they took me to principal Holland.

Chapter Text

I was sitting on a chair outside the principal's office. My parents, along with Vic and coach McKinnon, were in there right now discussing what they were going to do with me. I had already gotten a long lecture from Holland about how what I did was wrong and blah blah fucking blah. I was well aware of what I did and the consequences I was going to face but I simply didn't care if I got in trouble. It's not like my parents would give a fuck anyway. The lecture didn't help my anger go down either. It just boiled away in silence.

The door opened and I didn't bother looking up. I heard it close again. I saw the familiar gym clothes of Coach McKinnon flash by my eyes as he walked past and out of the administration area. Next I saw Vic knelt down in front of me, his eyes level with mine. I scanned the area and noted that there was no one around. My parents were still in with Holland.

"Kellin, what did you do that for?" he asked in a soft tone. He seemed disappointed. I didn't reply to him. He took my hand in his and ran his thumb over my knuckles lightly.

"I know you have every right to be angry at me, but I really am sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusion about Alex," he said. I looked into his eyes. He seemed sincere enough. I didn't have much time to process the apology though because the door opened. Vic quickly let go of my hand and stood away from me.

"Kellin, into my office," Principal Holland said. I got up, not looking at Vic again and went into the office. Vic didn't follow, but instead Holland closed the door so it was just the four of us. I looked over and my mom and stepdad's annoyed expressions.

"Take a seat," Holland said, so I sat in the chair next to my mom. He went over to his chair and sat down.

"After lengthy discussion, and a lot of convincing from Mr. Fuentes, Coach McKinnon has decided not to take any legal action on the matter. Mr. Fuentes also told us that you apparently had a very heated discussion in your session that made you angry and he tried to take the blame for it," he explained. That shocked me a bit. I wonder what he told them.

"Heated discussion?" I questioned.

"Yes. He said he tried to make you talk about your problems but you refused and it got you angry," he said. Wow, so Vic lied for me.

"This still doesn't excuse your actions though. You will accept whatever detentions Coach McKinnon hands out to you, plus you'll be on in school suspension for the remainder of this week and next week. Is that clear?" he asked. I didn't say anything.

"Kellin," My mom scolded. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Yes, that's clear," I said through gritted teeth.

"Good. Your parents will take you home. I'm not going to have you lashing out at any other teachers, or students for that matter. You'll go home, calm yourself down and come back tomorrow. Understood?" Holland asked.

"Understood," I said sarcastically. His attention went back to my parents.

"Thank you for coming in to talk about this," Holland said and stood up to shake their hands.

"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. We don't know what's gotten into him," My mom said apologetically. Wow it's like they've never seen an angry teenager before.

"Well, unfortunately none of us are particularly surprised by his actions. Just a reminder though that if this does happen again then I will not hesitate in expelling him," Holland threatened.

Being expelled would probably solve some of my problems; the biggest being my relationship with Vic. If I were to be expelled then I would be a student, so we could be together without there being any problems. The down side to this though is that it'll go on my permanent record and I won't be able to get into a college easily. I'm not exactly the most academic person but I do want to get somewhere in life eventually, which might mean going to college and for that I need a clean record, even though there's probably enough on my records for any college to reject me. I can't make it any worse.

"Whatever, can we go now?" I asked, still not dropping my bad attitude. I stood up and didn't wait for an answer before leaving.

—-

"Not so fast, Kellin!" My mom shouted when I was half way up the stairs. I stopped and turned back to her. I really didn't want to fucking talk to her.

"What do you want?" I asked. "You're grounded until further notice. No TV, no computer, no phone, no friends. You will go to school, you will come home, do your chores, do your homework, shower, have dinner and then go to bed," she said. Fucking seriously? I had detentions until forever, plus in school suspension but I'm grounded too? I'm 17, not a fucking baby.

"Are you serious?" I asked, not impressed at all.

"Yes, I am. Maybe with this punishment you'll have some time alone to think about the person you're becoming," she said. My stepdad, Rob, nodded in agreement.

"You're actually punishing me?" I questioned in disbelief.

"Yes, we are," she said in a snobby tone as she crossed her arms.

"Oh, what? So suddenly you give a shit about me? You're always focusing on Kailey and never on me, but suddenly you give a fuck?" I asked.

"You watch your mouth when you're speaking to me," she said angrily, taking a step forward.

"Fuck that, and you know what, fuck you," I spat out. Rob stepped forward now, looking furious.

"Don't speak to your mother like that!" he said, which of course pissed me off more.

"Fuck you too. You can't tell me what to do. You're not my real father," I said. I knew it was a low blow, but so is what he said next.

"Right, because your real father doesn't want anything to do with you!" he shouted. My mom looked at him in mild shock.

"Rob!" she exclaimed. After realizing what he said he looked apologetic.

"I'm sorry for saying that, Kellin," he said, although it didn't sound like he wanted to be apologizing. I didn't want to be near either of them right now, so I turned and marched up the stairs. I went into my room, slammed the door shut and turned my stereo on, drowning everything out with music.

It had gotten to the point where I was so frustrated and irritable that I wanted to break down and cry. I didn't want to feel like this but I couldn't help it. It was like these were the emotional cards I had been dealt and I had to deal with it no matter how much I didn't want to. I fell onto my bed and screamed into my pillow. Why must the world be so fucking annoying today?

I sighed a rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out, reading the message. It was from Vic.

'Hey, just checking up on you... are you okay?'

That was nice of him but I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. It was his fault I had gotten so mad in the first place. I was in a fucking good mood before I talked to him.

'Can't talk. Parents will take my phone soon because I'm grounded. Don't text back.' I typed out the reply and sent it.

I deleted all the messages I had from him and turned my phone off. I tossed it across the room, not caring if it broke, then resumed staring at the ceiling. That's all I wanted to do, just stare at the white paint. I was breathing heavily and feeling restless but I didn't make a move. I stayed there for hours until I realized it had gotten dark. I check my clock and saw it was just past 8. I was hungry as hell so I reluctantly left my room and went down stairs. I stopped when I heard talking. I could tell it was my mom and stepdad. I stopped in the hall, the wall hiding me from their vision. They were in the living room.

Chapter Text

I've been in in school suspension a few times before and it never got any better. Today I was sitting in a room near administration, by myself, while the Vice Principal checked in on me every three seconds. What was I going to do? Start a fucking riot all by myself? He was an idiot. Everyone these days are idiots. It didn't help my anger levels that I had to write an apology essay to coach McKinnon. I'm not sorry in the slightest. He was a jerk and deserved what he got. I on the other hand didn't deserve this. I was being caged up like an animal. I spent the night with Vic which was a highlight of the past couple of days. Waking up next to him is something I wanted to do all the time, but of course we couldn't. I was half tempted to drop out of school so I could be with him, but that's out of the question. My parents probably wouldn't approve of me being with an older guy, especially a teacher, not that I cared much for what they thought about me. They wanted me gone anyway. They didn't even care that I had disappeared yesterday. I got home that morning and they didn't notice, so I just had a shower, got changed and left for school, and now here I am.

"Stop fucking checking on me I'm not going anywhere!" I shouted at Mr. Todd, the Vice Principal, when he showed up in the door way again. He barely even reacted to my outburst.

"You're required to go to the guidance counselor's office immediately," he said. I was surprised that he hadn't yelled at me for swearing. He gave me a sympathetic look. Why? I have no idea. A spark of happiness ignited in me because I would be able to see Vic. He probably just wanted to give me a break from being in here bored out of my mind.

I got out of my seat, leaving my things on the desk, and walked past Mr. Todd. Vic's office was just a short walk down the hall. I went by myself, Mr. Todd not bothering to follow, and opened Vic's door. I stopped in my tracks though when I saw there were others in the room. Vic was at his desk, in his chair. He looked up at me but I couldn't tell the expression on his face. My mom and Rob were sitting across from him. Rob had the same sympathetic expression that Mr. Todd had. My mom looked upset. Principal Holland was standing next to Vic's chair. Straight away my mind went to the worst possible explanation and I thought that they had found out about Vic and I. I was feeling panicked now.

"What's going on?" I asked cautiously.

"Kellin...you might want to come in and take a seat," Vic said softly. I would think that if they had found out about Vic and myself then he would be acting more panicked. So if that's not what's going on, then what is?

"No, I'm fine standing. What's going on?" I repeated myself. Vic looked up at Holland then at my parents. They just nodded at him.

"We need to talk to you about something very important, and I need you to try and keep calm about this," he said. I was getting really worried now.

"Okay..." I said nervously. I crossed my arms over my chest in defense. What could this possibly be about.

"I've been talking to your parents this morning about your behavior and-"

"I knew it," I interrupted him as a thought popped into my mind, "You're sending me away to boarding school. I told you, I fucking told you you were all against me,"

"Stop. It's not that at all," Vic said.

"Liar," I spat out.

"Kellin, please, just listen to him," Rob said forcefully. I shut up and looked back at Vic.

"Okay... like I said, we were talking about your behavior and I, actually we all think that you might have..." He paused momentarily before continuing, "Um... you might have bipolar disorder."

I stood there in shock. I wasn't too sure what I was expecting but it definitely wasn't that. They've got to be kidding, right? I looked at my parent's faces. They were serious.

"No I don't," I said quickly.

"It makes sense, sweetie," my mom said.

"No it doesn't!" I shouted before she could continue. Vic stood up and I stepped back.

"I know this is scary, but this is something that is serious and needs to be looked into," Vic said. I shook my head slowly. This is insane, absolutely insane. So I'm a moody person and all of a sudden I have a disorder?

"I'm not crazy!" I exclaimed before I turned and ran away from them all. In the distance I heard Vic say he'd come after me, but that just made me angry. He thought I was a crazy person! He's on my parent's side, but he's supposed to be on mine. He betrayed me.

"Kellin! Please wait!" he called out, but I wouldn't. I kept running. My anger had been settled for most of the morning but now it was back, plus I was upset. I ran down the stairs and out of the school building. I just wanted to get back at Vic now. How could he do this to me? Next he'll be committing me to a mental hospital! How fucking could he?!

I made my way to the parking lot and found his car. In my rage I started hitting and kicking it, trying to ruin it like he was ruining me. He got to me quick enough and pulled me back.

"Stop!" he said firmly. I spun around to face him. Tears spilled out of my eyes and I pushed him away violently.

"Fuck you, Vic! You're all out to get me! You just want to ruin me!" I screamed. I turned back around and punched the window of the car, making a crack in it. I was so mad. I was seeing nothing but red. Vic grabbed me again, turned me around and pushed me against his car.

"I am not out to get you. All I want is to help you," he said. Do I believe him or not? On the one hand I wanted to trust him. On the other hand I didn't want to trust anybody anymore. This is what happens when I let people get close to me. They get to know me. They find out my weaknesses and then they destroy me. I thought Vic was different.

"I don't need help! Especially from you!" I shouted.

"You do need help, Kellin. You're being irrational here and I'm sorry for being so blunt but you have a serious problem and whether you like it or not I'm going to fucking help you with it," he said aggressively. Honestly the change from the kind man to this forceful one was a little scary.

"I don't need help. You're wrong. I don't have it. I don't have bipolar disorder. You're wrong," I said defiantly.

"But you might and-"

"No! I can't! I'm already that weird kid who tried to kill himself. I'm the weird kid whose brother died and dad left him. I can't be this too! It's not true. It doesn't make sense," I argued. Nothing made sense right now.

"Come on, Kellin. I think you know deep down that this makes complete sense," he said. I tried to clear my mind to think about it but I couldn't. I barely know anything about bipolar disorder anyway.

"H-how?" I choked out. He brought his hands up to my face to wipe the tears, and I let him. I looked around, vaguely conscious that we were in public. There was no one around.

"Haven't you ever felt like you can't control your emotions? Like they just take over and they're so intense and there's nothing you can do to stop them?" he asked. I shook my head.

"No, I don't know what you're talking about," I said in denial. I tried to push him away and leave but he wouldn't let me.

"Kellin, stop and listen to me, please. I've seen this in you, okay? And so have your friends and family," he said.

"What have you seen?! I'm normal!" I said in frustration.

"Take for instance what happened in the past with your father and brother," he said.

Chapter Text

It's been about a week and a half since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was kept from school for the remainder of that week, plus the whole next week just for good measure. My mom was fretting over me which was a drastic change from ignoring my existence. At the moment things were going well. The few days after I found out about the disorder weren't that great. I wasn't exactly cooperative and was still really moody. The following days I slowly felt myself calm down, then I just felt like me. I was constantly on edge though, worried that I'd slip off the edge and have a break down, but it hadn't happened. My parents and my doctor assured me that the pills were probably working, but I don't think I'll really know until something happens that would trigger an episode.

Today was Monday and I was supposed to go back to school, but I had somehow contracted the common cold. I felt tired, had a headache, sore throat and my body was aching. I was actually looking forward to going back to school. I hadn't really communicated with anyone since I left. My mom let me send a quick text to Alex and Tay just to tell them that I was going on a holiday with my parents. I didn't want to tell them about my disorder because I didn't want the sympathy. My mom took my phone after that and she only let me have it back today because I was going to be home alone. She and my stepdad were at work and my sister was at college. I was alone for the first time in a while.

I lay on the couch in an oversized hoodie, sweatpants and a blanket covering me. It wasn't even that cold of a day but I was shivering. Plain and simple; being sick sucks. I picked my phone up from the coffee table and opened my messages. I wanted to send a message to Vic, but the last time I saw him I had acted like a total fool. He probably thinks I'm some psycho kid. He hasn't tried to contact me either. I hope he hasn't changed his mind about me. Even if he did I wouldn't let him walk away so easily. I'd be back to my charming ways in no time.

I sighed and put the phone back down. I rolled over onto my side, relaxing on the couch. I'd been having this drowsy feeling all week. Apparently it was a side effect of the Lithium pills I was on. My doctor said I was lucky that that was my only side effect so far. I hoped that I didn't get any more in the future.

I wanted to just doze off into a deep sleep, but with my head pounding away and my constant shivering, it was no use. After a while there was a knock on the door. I groaned, wanting to ignore it, but I got up anyway and trudged over to the door. I opened it and standing there was Vic. I was a little shocked to see him, after all he was supposed to be at school.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Um, well, when you didn't show up at school I got worried and called your mom. She said you were sick and staying home, so I bought you chicken soup," he said and gestured to the plastic bag he was holding, "But I probably should have called you first. I don't even know where we stand."

He bought me soup? My family never even brings me things when I'm sick. My face lit up with a smile. This was the nicest and sweetest thing someone has ever done for me. I grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him inside and pushed the door closed. I flung my arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

"Why are you so perfect?" I asked. His body, which had tensed when I jumped on him, relaxed and he slid his free arm around my waist. It just felt so nice to be close to him again. If I had any doubts about the authenticity of my feelings then this moment definitely put them to rest. He buried his face in my neck and pressed his cool lips against it.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you too," I said as I pulled away, "Being away from you sucked."

I looked at him, thinking about how much I wanted to kiss him, but of course I couldn't right now. I actually probably shouldn't be standing so close to him but I couldn't help it.

"So, me and you, we're good? You still want a relationship with me?" he asked. Looking into his eyes I noted how insecure and vulnerable he was.

"Of course I do. I was kind of scared that you wouldn't want to be with me after how I acted," I said. He shook his head quickly.

"You couldn't control yourself. I know that. It's fine. We're fine," he said, smiling.

"You know I'd kiss you right now, but I wouldn't want you getting sick too," I said and moved away from him. I turned to walk back into the living room but he wrapped his arm around me from behind.

"I don't care if you're sick. I'll risk it," he said and kissed my cheek. I giggled and pushed him away lightly. I took his hand, bringing him into the living room.

"So what have you been up to lately?" I asked.

"Just the usual school and stuff," he said as we sat down facing each other. He took the container of soup and spoon out of the plastic bag and handed them to me.

"Thank you," I said gratefully, "Are you hungry? I can make you something,"

"No it's fine. I ate before I got here," he said. I just smiled and opened the container. I wish that my nose wasn't so blocked so I could smell it. I scooped some up with the spoon and quickly swallowed it. It was like heaven sliding down my throat.

"Oh God this is so good. Seriously thank you," I said.

"You're so cute," he said just as I ungracefully shoved another spoonful into my mouth,

"Sort of cute..." he teased. I poked my tongue out at him.

"Whatever. So how are you here? Shouldn't you be at school?" I asked.

"No, it's lunch break," He explained.

"So you won't be staying long then?" I asked, feeling disappointed

"Yeah. I wish I could stay longer. I want to spend time with you," he said.

"Well hopefully I'll be back tomorrow," I said.

"I sure hope so," he said and moved closer. He affectionately put his hand on my thigh, squeezing it.

"So how have you been?" he asked seriously. I guess I should have expected us to have a serious talk about me. My mom and Rob hadn't really been talking to me about it. They're aware of it and told me to take my pills when I had to, but the only person I've actually really talked to was my therapist.

"I've been okay," I said somewhat hesitantly. I didn't want to scare him off with all of my problems. Who wants to date someone like me?

"Tell me about, please. I want to know these things," he said. I was a little cautious, but gave in.

"Um well...it was tough at first. I didn't want to accept it and I had a bit of a breakdown," I admitted. I looked away shamefully. He brought his fingers to me chin and made me look at him.

"Don't be scared to talk about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of," he assured me with sincerity in his eyes. I nodded and decided to tell him.

"I just lashed out at everyone. I was so angry and upset. I almost hurt my sister too...but I'm fine now. I calmed down and I'm fine," I told him. He gave a sympathetic look.

"Please don't give me sympathy," I pleaded.

"Sorry. It's hard not to when I care about you so much," he said. That made me smile. It was nice to be cared for.

"I know. It's just that everyone looks at me as if I just died or like I'm a time bomb waiting to go off," I said.

"They're just worried is all. I'll stop though," he said.

"Thank you," I said. He smiled and rubbed my thigh encouragingly.

"So tell me about everything else going on with you," he said. I sighed, really not wanting to talk about it, but the sooner we get this conversation over, the sooner we can go back to being us.

"Well...I've been seeing a therapist every couple of days. Apparently that's just part of working through this. She said I'm probably going to have this stupid disorder for the rest of my life because there's no cure for it, but it's possible that I can live like normal if I stay on my meds," I told him.

"I know you can do it. You're strong," he said. I couldn't help but smile again. He has a lot of faith in me, more than I have in myself anyway.

"Yeah, but it's possible I could have another episode one day, or I might not. It's a day by day thing I guess," I said with a shrug, "My therapist thinks that if I stick to my medication and go to regular therapy sessions then I'll be fine,"

"How is therapy? Are you actually talking to her?" he asked.

"Sort of...you know me, I don't like to get serious," I said.

"Yeah I know, but it's really important to be serious about this," he said.

"I know, I know. She just keeps trying to delve into my problems and fix them but there's nothing to fix. It's all about what happened in the past and it's not like we can go back in time and change that," I said, feeling hopeless. I just didn't like therapy was all, or talking about my feelings to a complete stranger. That's what I had Vic for now. He saw that the topic was making me uncomfortable so he changed it.

"So, how's the medication? Have you had any side effects?" he asked. I nodded as I set the now empty container of soup on the coffee table. Damn that was delicious.

"Yeah kind of. I'm just really tired a lot," I said.

"Do you think they made you sick?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Probably not. My sister was sick a few days ago so I probably caught it off her," I said. He leaned forward and put his hand to my forehead.

"You're hot," he said.

"Well jeez Mr. Fuentes, no need to hit on me," I teased. He rolled his eyes.

"I mean your temperature," he said and continued feeling my face. I took his hand and moved it away from my face but kept hold of it.

"Really? I feel cold though," I said.

"You do? Here," he said and picked up the blanket which was behind him, "You should really lay down and rest."

"I'm not a baby, I'm fine," I said.

"Just lay down. I wouldn't feel right if I'm stopping you from resting. Lay down," he said firmly and pointed to the end of the couch. He was so bossy yet caring. He'd make a good parent one day. I was going to obey him and lay down, but instead of putting my head on the pillow, I lay the other way, resting my head on his lap.

"There, I'm laying down," I said. He sighed but looked down at me, smiling. He flung the blanket over me, warming me almost instantly.

"You're really sweet you know, like coming over here to make sure I'm okay," I said.

"Well you're my boyfriend and I care for you. Of course I'm going to be here," he said as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"My mom didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary when you asked to come over, did she?" I asked.

"No. I was careful not to say anything that would make her think there's something going on with us. She just thinks I'm being a caring teacher is all," he said. I nodded as another thought came to mind.

"You didn't try and contact me at all while I was gone," I pointed out.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't want to text you because I knew your parents might have your phone, and I had no excuse to come over because your mom was taking care of you. This is the first opportunity I've really had," he said. I nodded in understanding.

"Okay. Do my friends suspect anything?" I asked.

"I think so. Because I asked them questions about you just before you were diagnosed and then you disappeared for a while so I think they know something's up. Alex was asking me if something's wrong with you but I just said I didn't know," he said. That just reminded me of the whole Alex and me situation.

"I'm really sorry about the whole Alex thing. I never meant to get angry at you about it," I apologized.

"It's okay. It's all in the past," he said nonchalantly. He kept running his fingers through my hair and honestly I was starting to doze off a little.

"Tired?" he asked when he noticed. His voice was full of amusement.

"Maybe," I said.

"Okay, I should be getting back to school and you should be sleeping this sickness off so you can come back tomorrow," he said.

"But I don't want you to leave," I whined.

"I have to," he said and maneuvered away from me. He got the pillow and set it underneath my head. I pouted at him.

"I'll see you later. Try and get some rest. Do it for me," he said. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Fine, leave. I'll see you tomorrow," I said, feeling drowsier by the second. He smiled down at me before letting himself out of the house. God he's perfect."

Chapter Text

I walked into school the next morning like I owned the place, after all, confidence is key. I wouldn't let my disorder bring me down. I had it. I had to deal with it. There was no point in dwelling in self-pity. My sickness had completely cleared up too. I woke up feeling better than ever, so I was able to keep myself in a good mood. I was also happy because I'd get to see Vic. Seeing him yesterday was great, but it simply wasn't enough time.

I made my way to biology as excited as ever. It was just luck that this was my first class of the day. I probably would have gone crazy sitting through all my other classes just waiting for this one. I also had Alex, Tay and Mike in this class. None of them knew about what I had been through these past couple of weeks. They didn't even know that I was coming back today.

I walked into class a minute or two before it started. Vic looked up at me, kept a straight face and simply nodded once. I however smiled brightly and walked over to his desk which he was sitting at. I leant over it with my elbows resting on the hard wood.

"So about the work I missed while I was gone. Maybe we could have some private tutoring lessons. I'm sure you could teach me a thing or two," I said suggestively. I smiled cheekily, biting my bottom lip. He rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Good to have you back, Kellin. I'll talk to you after lunch," he said, talking about our session.

"We won't be doing much talking," I whispered. He gave me an unimpressed look. He loved it though, I know he did.

"Go and sit down," he ordered.

"You got it, sir," I said. I stepped away and turned back to the class who were all chatting to their friends. I looked over at my own who hadn't yet seen me. Tay was sitting in between Mike and Alex. Usually I'd sit between Tay and Mike, but I guess they got used to me not being here, so instead I went over to the other side of Alex and sat down.

"Hey guys," I said. The three of them looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey," they all said and went back to talking to each other. Okay so I wasn't expecting a welcome back party but maybe a little enthusiasm would have been nice.

"Right, missed you guys too," I muttered. I only got the attention of Tay though.

"You disappeared for like two weeks and didn't return any of our calls or texts, what do you expect?" she asked.

She sounded a little annoyed. On the one hand I was a little bothered that they were acting like this because it wasn't my fault that I couldn't contact them. On the other hand I was trying to look at the situation from their point of view. This is something that my therapist told me to do whenever I got annoyed with people. I was supposed to see it from the other person's perspective. That was supposed to make me think rationally and not over-react about things. Tay, Alex and Mike had no idea what I had been through. As far as they knew I just disappeared and went on holiday. They thought I ignored them, so they have the right to be angry with me. Then again I wanted them to at least ask how I was. I decided to just shake it off and pay attention to Vic's angelic voice instead as he started the lesson.

I found biology incredibly boring but when Vic was talking I hung off every word. It never used to be like this, but I guess I just missed him a lot. I still felt like I was on the outs with my friends. They seemed to have all these little inside jokes that I wasn't a part of and they didn't really try and include me. Maybe I was just being extra sensitive today. I looked at Alex next to me and couldn't help but think about what had happened between us. I nudged him, getting his attention.

"So...how's things?" I asked and gave him a look that let him know I wasn't making casual conversation. He knew I was talking about the whole confused sexuality thing. Honestly I didn't care that he was confused. What I cared about was whether he was being faithful to Tay.

"Don't worry. You have nothing to worry about," he assured me. He was quick to turn back to the others and whisper quietly.

When the bell rang I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Vic gave me a concerned look but I just kept walking. This wasn't like me. I don't get upset over trivial things like this. I made a note to make a concerted effort to just relax and not take things so seriously today. My friends will get over it and we'll be back to normal by tomorrow.

—-

Not much had changed by lunch time. I found myself sitting there while they all talked about something that happened last week, so I couldn't really join in on the conversation. I looked over at Vic longingly. He was sitting with a group of other staff members, one of which was coach McKinnon. I had actually been looking out for him all day because I needed to apologize. I got up, not bothering to excuse myself from the others, and walked over to the teachers table. I stopped, standing next to McKinnon.

"Hey, McKinnon," I got his attention. He, along with a few others including Vic, looked up at me, "Could I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," he said and got up. Together we walked a little bit away from the table so we could talk in private.

"So, um...I just wanted to apologize for hitting you and, you know, whatever," I muttered. I wasn't good with apologies at all.

"It's okay, Kellin. Principal Holland told me about your situation and I understand you weren't exactly in control," he said. Fuck, who else knew about this?

"Okay, well still, I'm sorry. I was way out of line," I said.

"Yes, you were. Although due to the circumstances I've decided to lift your punishment," he said.

"You mean no detentions?" I asked. I already got out of in school suspension, so I couldn't believe my luck that I was getting out of detentions too.

"Yeah. I think you need a clean slate, but if there are any other incidences while you're on medication then I won't be so easy on you," he said. I simply nodded in understanding.

"Okay," I murmured.

"I appreciate the apology. It's very mature of you," he said. I screwed my nose up at the word mature. It was very unlike me. I was known for being quite immature, or at least that's what I let people think.

"Okay, conversation over?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure, everything's good now," he said with a nod and went back to his table. I sighed and went back over to my friends.

"What was that about?" Tay asked when I sat down. Wow she's actually talking to me.

"Just apologizing for punching him," I said.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that," Mike said. I just shrugged, trying to make out like it wasn't a big deal.

"You apologized? Wow Kellin, that doesn't seem like you at all," Alex said.

"Yeah well there's a lot you don't know about me," I said, but no one took the comment seriously. They went back to their conversation and actually included me a little more. I knew they would get over it quickly. There was still a bit of tension though. Fucking drama queens.

The bell rang a little while later and the four of us made our way to our lockers. My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I looked at it to see an alarm with a reminder that I had to take my medication. I sighed, putting my phone back in my pocket. It was a little daunting knowing that I'd have to take these pills every single day for a long time, maybe even my whole life. We got to our lockers which were all close together and I took out my pills.

Chapter Text

Saturday night couldn't come fast enough. Vic and I had planned to go away this weekend, so for the whole week I was getting impatient and couldn't wait for tonight. I would get a whole night alone with Vic, just me and him. We finally wouldn't have to worry about people walking in on us kissing, although I'd like a lot more than kissing to happen, but Vic made it quite clear that nothing was going to happen this weekend. Did that mean I was going to respect his wishes? Hell no. Poor Vic, always trying to be a responsible adult but in the end he'll give into me. Who knows when we'd get time to be alone again? I was going to get the most out of it.

Vic and I decided not to travel into the city together so there was less chance of people we know seeing us leaving town together. We had both taken the train in, but at different times. He went first and I left about fifteen minutes later. My parents were under the impression that I was staying at Alex's for the night. My mom was reluctant to let me go considering my disorder, but I convinced her that I was feeling fine, then put on a sob story about how lonely I've been lately when she kept me isolated for a couple of weeks, so she reluctantly agreed. I asked Alex to cover for me, although he has no idea where I was going this weekend. He figured that he owed me one since I didn't tell Tay about him kissing me. So, I was in the clear to meet up with Vic.

I made it to the hotel with no problems. It was really nice. It wasn't like one of those really expensive, lavish hotels because honestly Vic and I probably couldn't afford that. But it still looked nice, maybe even a little posh. Mostly it was cute. The building was about 20 stories tall and mine and Vic's room was on the 14th. I went up to the reception desk in the lobby, told them my name and they gave me a key card.

My heart was pounding as I impatiently stood in the elevator. I couldn't wait to see Vic. I was practically jumping up and down in excitement. When I got to the floor I rushed out of the elevator and searched for room 145. I found it, swiped my card in the door and opened it. Looking around I saw a quaint, cozy room. There was a bed in the middle of it, only one. That made me smile. The sheets were a simple white. Straight across was a large window that led to a balcony. To my left on one of the walls facing the bed was a large TV, not that we'd need that or anything. To my right was a door. With the intentions to find Vic I opened it and was met with a small kitchen, but no Vic, and that's when I heard the shower running.

A sly smile crossed my lips as the most mischievous of thoughts crossed my mind. My boyfriend was naked in the shower, so what did you expect me to do? Still smiling to myself, I slipped my shoes and socks off, then took off my jeans then my shirt. I folded them and set them on the kitchen counter. I was simply wearing my blue silk boxers.

I was so bad, I knew that, but I still didn't stop myself from carrying out my devious plan. I went over to the door that I was sure led to the bathroom and opened it. It was your average bathroom, but I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. Instead my eyes laid upon Vic's very naked and very wet body in the shower. There was merely a glass door separating us.

"Hey," I got his attention as I closed the door behind me. His back was to me and god damn his ass was perfect. He glanced back at me, his eyes going wide.

"Kellin, uh, what are you doing in here?" he asked.

"Enjoying the view," I teased. He rolled his eyes and turned his head away, still keeping his back to me.

"Get out, Kellin, I'll be done in a minute," he ordered. Yeah right, like I was going to listen to him. I bit my bottom lip, briefly considering if I was pushing any boundaries here, but then I decided I didn't care. I slowly and quietly walked towards the shower. Steam surrounded me in the room. It was hot in here but I bet I could make it hotter. I stopped when I got to the door and slipped my boxers off, letting them fall to the floor.

"I thought you could do with some company," I said. I swear I heard him laugh quietly at my antics. I opened the shower door and stepped in. I wasn't under the water but I was instantly warmed by the hot air in here.

"Kellin," he whined, "We have dinner reservations in half an hour. No fooling around,"

I disobeyed and stepped closer. I lightly ran my hands across his wet back before resting them on his hips. I leaned forward and kissed his shoulder. My hair got a little wet as the water hit it. I was getting really excited now, I mean I was naked in the shower with Vic so of course I was.

"Half an hour is all I need," I said.

I kissed the back of his neck. I hoped I was turning him on as much as I was turned on right now. This was forbidden between us, which just made it so much hotter. Vic finally turned to me and like any hot blooded teenage male I glanced down. A cheeky smile crossed my lips before I bit them. If I didn't want him before then I sure did now. He brought his fingers to my chin and pushed my head up.

"We can't do this, you know that," he stated.

"Sure we can," I said. He gave an unimpressed look, but didn't move away. I smiled and slid my hands from his hips, up his sides and chest, to around his neck. I pulled him into me and planted my lips on his in a wet kiss. It took a moment of hesitation before he kissed me back. His soft lips worked well with mine. I tangled my fingers tightly in his wet hair as he wrapped his arms around my torso and pulled my body closer to his so we were both under the water.

"We can't get this close. I'm warning you," he breathed.

I wouldn't listen though. He looked so damn sexy in the shower so how was I supposed to resist him? I kissed him passionately again and parted his lips with my tongue. Things were getting really heated, but then suddenly the nice, hot water turned freezing cold. I gasped and stepped away from Vic and out of the water. I looked at him then glared when I saw the wicked smile on his face and his hand on the faucet.

"No, wait. Come back here, you wanted to hook up, right?" he teased. He reached forward, grabbed my wrist and pulled me back under the cold water. I practically shrieked like a little girl when it hit my skin.

"This is so not funny," I barked at him. He just laughed and held me there.

"Well, I thought that you could do with some cooling down," he said. He grinned and stepped around me. He let go of my arms and left the shower. I pouted, stepping away from the running water.

"You're a jerk," I snapped.

"You should have done what I told you to do then, huh?" he said, not wiping that smug smile off his face, "Now hurry up and shower. I'll be waiting in the room."

He wrapped a towel around himself and I glared as he walked out. I turned the shower on hot again and showered in animosity. Turning on the cold water had definitely calmed me down a lot. I still wanted him though. I mean after seeing him completely naked and glistening in water, it was hard to not want him. He was going to be a little tease though, I knew that. It was going to take some work but I was so determined to have him, and I would. Tonight.

—-

With much sweet talking and sucking up to me, Vic convinced me to forgive him for that little trick he pulled and we were now walking hand in hand into the somewhat fancy restaurant next to the hotel. The lights were dimmed and the floors were like red velvet. The tables were set far enough apart for couples to have their privacy. This was, all in all, really cute. Vic and I kind of stood out. Both of us were wearing somewhat casual clothes. We both had black jeans on, but I was wearing a red, flannel, button up shirt and he had a plain white shirt. Everyone else seemed to be older couples; the women wearing dresses and the men wearing suits. Vic and I didn't care that we looked different though.

"Reservation for Fuentes," Vic remarked to the young lady at the desk near the front of the restaurant. She looked down at a piece of paper then ticked something.

"Ah yes, here you are," she said. She looked up at us, beaming and handed us two menus.

"Here are your menus. Let me show you to your table," she said in a peppy voice. She turned and led us further into the restaurant. There weren't many other people here which was fine by me.

"You know you didn't have to go through all of this trouble," I whispered, "I would have been happy with ordering pizza in our hotel room."

"Shush, I want to spoil you, so let me," he whispered back. I blushed, looking away with a smile. I was still trying to get used to the fact that someone actually really liked and cared about me like this.

"Here is your table. There will be a waiter with you shortly," The girl said and gestured to table that was in the corner of the room. Perfect. The girl walked away, leaving us alone. The chairs were across the table from each other, but that just wouldn't do for me. I grabbed one and brought it around so it was adjacent to the other so we would be sitting closer together, then sat down on it. Vic sat on the other and I smiled at him. This was really cute. It's like an actual proper date like what you see in the movies.

"Thank you for doing this," I said and took his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together, "I like being away from everyone and everything,"

"Has it really been that bad?" he asked and I shrugged.

"Since my friends found out about the whole bipolar thing they keep looking at me like I'm some kind of freak," I mumbled the last part. I set the menu down on the table and looked at it, not willing to show Vic just how much this affected me. It wasn't just my friends either. With Oli, plus the few people who were walking past that heard Oli speaking, it wasn't long before pretty much the whole school knew about it and they were all treating me differently. They weren't treating me badly though, just different.

"Oh come on, I'm sure they don't," he assured me and squeezed my hand.

"Okay, they don't exactly do that. But they look at me in sympathy though, or like I'm fragile," I explained. My eyes fell on his kind ones again.

"Tell them otherwise. They're probably scared and don't know anything about it so you gotta educate them," he said.

"Yeah, maybe. I don't want to talk about this anymore," I brushed the topic off dismissively and smiled, "I just wasn't to enjoy the time I have with you."

"Aw, you're so sweet," he said and leanedforward to lightly peck my lips with his. It was a comforting kiss and just made my feelings for him intensify.

The waiter came by shortly after that and Vic ordered the chicken with salad for himself, so I did the same since I didn't really care about what I ate. It wasn't long after that when the food was placed in front of us and I reluctantly had to let go of his hand to start eating.

"Okay, what do normal people talk about on dates?" Vic inquired after a few moments of silence.

"Do you have any sexual kinks?" I blurted out. I peered up at him, smiling innocently.

"Ha ha, funny," he said sarcastically, "I was thinking more along the lines of 'wow, you're looking quite dashing tonight.'" I laughed at the fake British accent he put on.

"Oh, so you're British now? Wait, is that your kink? You like British accents in the bedroom?" I taunted him playfully.

"Shut up," he growled, giving a mocking glare.

"Alright, alright fine. We'll have a normal conversation. Okay...tell me your life story," I requested.

"My life story? Like what?" he asked and I was momentarily silent as I thought about how cute he was when he ate food. I snapped out of it quickly and answered him.

"Well...what were you like in high school?" I asked.

"What do you think I was like?" he shot back.

"A total nerd. Straight A student," I accused.

"Hmm, yeah, pretty much," he shrugged casually.

"So basically the opposite of me then," I stated. I guess opposites really do attract.

"You could be a straight A student too. You're smart, you just don't apply yourself," he said.

"Blah blah, whatever," I rolled my eyes then moved onto my next question, "So what was your favorite class? Biology?"

"Chemistry, actually," he surprised me by saying.

"So why are you teaching biology?" I asked.

"I don't know, I guess because I got better grades in Biology I just decided to stick with it," he explained. I nodded in understanding. I liked this whole 'getting to know each other' game a lot. It was fun to learn new things about him. It made me feel closer.

"Hm, okay, next question. What kind of friends did you have? Quiet bookworms I bet," I joked.

"No, I was friends with people who were into the arts, like music and film, whatever," he said.

"Really?" I asked in a mild shock .He had surprised me once more, "That's weird. Actually it's weird to imaging you with friends at all," I poked my tongue out at him.

"I have friends!" he defended himself.

"Yeah, just me,"

"You aren't my friend," he retorted. I gasped, pretending to be hurt.

"Well fine then. I guess you have none," I said with a smile.

"Whatever, it's my turn to ask you some questions now," he said. I shook my head quickly.

"Nope. You basically know everything about my life. I don't know much about you," I told him.

"Okay, fine. Ask away," he said. I sat there for a moment, thinking of my next question.

"Umm...what college did you go to?" I asked.

"Stanford," he said, shocking me for the third time that night. As far as I knew, Stanford was a really good school for brainiacs, which I guess means Vic is smarter than I thought.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, I got in on scholarship," he explained.

"Wow, you really are a nerd," I joked.

"Yeah, I guess so. I was only there for a couple of years though. I had to transfer and move back to San Mike to be closer to Mike because, you know," he said the last part quietly. He was obviously talking about his parents dying and the last thing I wanted was to turn this date into something depressing, so I changed the topic.

"Have you lived in the U.S your whole life? I mean you're like, what, Mexican, right?" I asked.

"Half Mexican," he said.

"Right, half Mexican," I commented.

"Yeah, but I've lived in California my whole life until I came here," he said

"That's a big change," I pointed out.

"I know. I think both Mike and I needed it though," he said.

"Yeah, true," I muttered, hoping the conversation wouldn't go depressing again.

"What about you? Have you lived in Michigan your whole life?" he asked.

"Yup," I nodded, "I've never even been out of the state."

"Seriously? Never?" he asked.

"Nope, never," I said.

"I might have to take you somewhere one day," he said with a smile. I liked that promise.

"What's your favorite color?" I moved on to my next question quickly.

"Really? You're asking me my favorite color?" he asked in amusement. Okay, so it wasn't the best question but it was the first that came to mind.

"Yep, mine's yellow," I said.

"Yellow?"

"Yeah. Not many people pick yellow. I think it needs some attention and I want to be different, plus it's a happy color," I clarified.

"That's a good way to look at it," he said, "Uh, my favorite color would have to be...green, like your eyes,"

I rolled my eyes at the comment but felt myself blush nonetheless.

"Favorite animal?" I questioned.

"Monkey, yours?" he asked. I couldn't help but laugh at the monkey thing. That's cute.

"Wolf."

"Oh, dark and dangerous. What's your favorite movie?" he asked. "I don't know. I'm not really into movies," I said indifferently.

"How can you not be into movies?" he asked in astonishment.

"I don't know. I don't really have the patience for them. What's yours though?" I questioned.

"Gone With The Wind," he said proudly.

"Oh, I've never seen that before," I said. His eyes went wide and I thought maybe I said something wrong.

"What?" he asked in disbelief.

"What?"

"I can't believe you haven't seen it. It's a classic! I'm making you watch it one day," he said adamantly.

"Sounds like a date," I smiled.

The two of us finished our dinner and the waiter took our plates. Vic went to the bathroom and while he was gone I paid the bill for us. Even though I didn't have a job, I still had money that I saved over the years from allowances. Vic had insisted on paying for the hotel room, so the least I could do was pay for dinner. He wasn't too happy about that though, but he would live. Soon enough we were in the elevator going back up to our floor, which I was more than excited for. Honestly, if all we do is kiss and cuddle all night I'll be the happiest guy in the world.

Chapter Text

I collapsed on the hotel room bed, my arms sprawled out as I sank into the cushy mattress. My muscles were instantly relaxed. I looked at the ceiling, feeling calm and content. So far tonight had been amazing. I guess since I don't get to spend much time with Vic, I'm really valuing it now. Speaking of him, he stopped at the edge of the bed, towering over me.

"This bed is so comfortable." I told him.

"Perfect for sleeping on." He reiterated the fact that that's all we'd be doing tonight. I rolled my eyes and sat up.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I said and took his hand. I laced my fingers with his and noticed that our hands were the same size, making them fit perfectly together, although his were a little rougher than my soft ones.

"Fascinated by our hands?" He asked.

"I'm fascinated by you in general." I said, smiling up at him.

"When did you get so cute?" He asked. That just made me smile wider.

"I've always been cute." I said with a pout. I tugged on his hand which made him fall on top of me. His body weight pushed me onto my back. Both of us were laughing at nothing in particular. We were just overjoyed to be in each other's company. I loved his laugh. It was deeper than you'd expect from someone who was fairly small like him. It was the opposite of my girlish giggle.

I lifted my head and kissed his perfect lips. I had been desperate to kiss him all throughout most of dinner, but I had been patient and waited.

"Mm, you're a really good kisser." He mumbled against my lips.

"I know." I said cockily. He pulled back, rolling his eyes.

"I shouldn't have fed your ego." He said and rolled onto the bed. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck and kissed it lightly. I loved seeing him like this. He was so relaxed and affectionate. He always had this vibe about him that let me know he was constantly worried about us being caught so he'd be kind of distant with me, but right now it's as if we're a normal couple without a care in the world.

"Now what do we do?" I asked as I ran my fingertips over his arm.

"Hmm, hold you," He said and kissed my neck again, "Kiss you. Fall asleep with you. Wake up with you."

Butterflies were not only fluttering through my stomach, but they were frenzying through my entire body. I don't think he knows what his sweet words do to me. I've never exactly been the type of person to get sucked into someone because of their sweet words, but with Vic it was different. I loved the sappy bullshit.

"I want that too. I mean, I wanna do more, but I guess I'll settle for this if I have to." I said, sighing for dramatic affect.

"Way to ruin a sweet moment." He teased and sat up. He began undoing the buttons on his shirt and I just lay there enjoying the show. Once it was off he looked down at me.

"Come on then, get ready for bed." He said.

"Bed? It's only like 9:30. I know you're like super old, but isn't that a little early, even for you?" I joked.

"I am not super old," He said defensively, "Besides, the quicker you get ready for bed, the quicker we can snuggle."

I snorted in laughter, "Snuggle? Who even says that?"

"Shut up." He snapped, looking away from me. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"No, it's okay. We can snuggle, but you know what that leads to, right?" I questioned and kissed right below his ear. I was talking about sex. He knew that, but he still brushed it off.

"Yes, that leads to a deeper emotional connection felt between the snuggler and the snugglee." He said. He poked my chest lightly when he said snugglee. Good, I liked being little spoon.

"You are such a nerd." I said and stood up.

"And proud." He said. I smiled down at him and unbuttoned my shirt. I wanted to be as unclothed as possible. I knew nothing would happen between us tonight no matter how much I wanted it to. Annoyingly enough, he was too responsible for that, but that wouldn't stop me from teasing the hell out of him. He stood up to undress himself too. He kept sneaking glances at me. He so wanted me. Eventually we were both down to just our boxers.

"I should probably put some more clothes on." He said and tried to walk past me to his bag. I latched onto his wrist and stopped him though.

"Oh no you don't. If you won't let us, you know, then the least you can give me is some skin to skin contact." I said. He sighed and shrugged, giving in. I smiled brightly and let go of him so he could get into bed. I went over to the light switch and flicked it off. The room wasn't pitch black. The city lights outside were enough to give off a dim illumination and I could see Vic.

"You look better in the dark." I joked.

"Don't be mean." He whined.

"Aww, did I hurt your feelings?" I asked sarcastically, "Here, let me kiss them better."

It was a cheesy line, but it was a good enough excuse to kiss him. I crawled onto the bed and over to him. I lowered myself and kissed him. In an instant his hand was around the back of my neck to keep me in place while he kissed me back. If I kept this up then I'd want to tear his clothes off then and there. Maybe he felt the same way about me. I decided to test the theory and deepened the kiss, my tongue going in his mouth. He groaned in frustration and a second later he was lightly pushing me off of him.

"You're trouble, Kellin Quinn." He said.

"If I had a dollar for every time you told me that..." I trailed off.

"Well it's just the truth." He said. I rolled my eyes and got under the covers with him. I rolled onto my side with my back to his chest. The skin to skin contact warmed both of us up instantly. He put his arm around my waist and held me tightly. I placed my hand over his to play with his fingers.

"This is perfect." I said and smiled to myself.

"It really is. I don't want tonight to end." He said. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and it really wasn't helping me behave.

"We could always run away together, to like Canada. Then we could be together forever." I joked.

"Yeah, sure. Let's do that." He said sarcastically.

"It'd be awesome. We could live in like an igloo." I said.

"You're an idiot." He whispered while chuckling.

"I'm your idiot." I said, blushing because of how fucking ridiculously corny I was being tonight. He didn't make fun of me for it though. He just held me tighter and kissed the back of my neck.

"Yep, mine." He said. I relaxed next to him, wishing I could stay here forever. The real world seemed so far away and right now this was the only thing that existed or mattered.

"Are you tired?" I asked.

"Hmm, not really." He mumbled.

"You know what we could do to pass the time?" I asked cheekily and wriggled against him.

"Don't do that." He said and moved away a little.

"Why not?" I asked.

"You know why. Now try and sleep." He whispered, as if anyone could hear us in here. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see and stopped my movements.

"Fine." I agreed.

His tense body relaxed again, but his hold tightened around me. We fell into a silence together. He was killing me here. I mean first of all I had been really worked up before dinner because of the shower incident, and now here I am in a bed with my almost naked boyfriend, in a hotel room where we can't be interrupted and he expects us to just sleep? My thoughts were running wild. Images flashed in my mind of his lips all over me. I imagined what his sex moans would sound like and how he'd feel ins- No, I can't just lay here and do nothing. I practically have a fucking tent in my boxers now. When would we get another opportunity like this to be close? We rarely got time alone. With those thoughts in my mind I decided to kick things up a notch and really tease him. Honestly I'm just a little shit who can't do as he's told.

I started off simple by lightly running my fingers along his arm. I really did love his arms. They were so masculine. I put my hand over his and slowly pushed it further down my body. He let me, up until I got to the hem of my boxers and he made me stop.

"What are you doing?" He asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." I said innocently. I arched my back, making my lower half grind against his slowly. A small smile slipped onto my lips when I found out that I wasn't the only one "excited". I could feel his bulge poking into me. He sighed and held my hips to make me stop. He knew exactly what I was doing. When he thought I was done, he released his grip, but I was far from done. I grinded against him again.

"Kellin." He growled in a warning tone. All that did was send a shiver through spine. I shifted my body around so I was facing him.

"Is there a problem, Vic?" I asked sweetly. There was a problem, two of them, now pressed up against each other. He exhaled in frustration. I wasn't going to do anything yet though. I'd let him decide if he wanted to make a move. I didn't want him to feel too pressured. After all, this is all fun and games. I'm only teasing. If he wants to do something about it then that's his choice.

"You're the problem. You've got me all..." He trailed off, leaving me curious.

"Got you all what?" I asked. He didn't answer me. I snuggled in closer to him, making the front of my boxers rub against his. I may or may not have done that on purpose. I put my arm around him and trailed my fingers along his back. I just wanted to be intimate with him, that's all. Is that a crime? Okay, so it is, but who's gonna find out?

I brushed my nose against his lightly. Come on, he's got to give into me soon. I'm turned on and ready to go. We wouldn't have sex, but how about a little fooling around? We've done that before so why not again?

"What's the harm in just kissing?" I encouraged him.

"When it comes to you, probably a lot." He said. His hand was roaming my body slowly, sliding across my back and down to my ass. He'd give in any second now.

"I disagree. I think you'll find it's a lot of fun." I said flirtatiously. I brushed my lips against his to tempt him.

"Let's test that theory." He suggested. I had him; hook, line and sinker. He pressed his lips against mine and at first it was slow and sensual, but it didn't take long for the kiss to be one filled with hunger. I moaned lightly, moving my lips in perfect sync with his. In a second I was on my back with his body rocking against mine. I savored every second of the kiss. His lips tasted so sweet, so perfect. I couldn't get enough of it. I ran my fingers through his hair, tangling them in it and holding on tightly. His hips were fucking magic as they rolled against mine. I arched my back, desperately needing more. I've needed him to touch me for a long time now.

The friction between us was making me grow hot and soon I was panting in between messy kisses. He moaned against my lips which sent a frenzy off inside of me. He bit my bottom lip and slipped his tongue into my mouth the second I opened it. I couldn't take this anymore. I needed more. I let go of his hair and ran my hands down his firm chest, going further south. He quickly grabbed my hands before I got there though and forcefully pinned them to the mattress on either side of my head. I was surprised with him. He was being incredibly dominant right now. I had to admit I like it. It was a little different to our usual relationship dynamics.

He let go of my wrists but I kept them there. He gripped my thigh and pulled it up so I hooked it around his hip. He ground into me harder, making the both of us groan. Shit this felt amazing. He suddenly stopped his movements and pulled back to look at me. His eyes were dark and looking at me with lust.

"Fun, right?" I questioned, breathing heavily. He smiled wickedly.

"Maybe a little too fun." He said. He leaned down and kissed me more gently than he had before. I didn't want this to stop. The kiss was filled with less passion and I hoped that wasn't a sign that he was trying to back off, which knowing Vic, it would be. I would not spend the whole night here with this throbbing fucking hard on though. A thought popped into my mind and I lightly pushed him away.

"Hey, Vic..."

"Yes, Kellin?" He asked as if he were expecting the worst. His eyes traveled to my neck and he leaned down to kiss it. Fuck I loved him like this. It's not very often when he just lets go, especially like this. It was such a change from his usual demeanour and I found it fucking hot.

"You know what you owe me?" I questioned. He pushed back a little and looked at me in confusion.

"What?" He asked.

"Remember that one day that we were in your office...on the couch...and I showed you just what I could do with my mouth?" I asked. Realization flashed in his eyes.

"Oh right, that...well I guess I do owe you one." He said.

"Exactly. It would only be fair for you to repay me," I said and ran my hands up and down his chest, "And maybe when you're done you might just get a little something yourself."

"How are you so flirtatious like all the time?" He asked. He went back in to kiss my neck.

"I guess I just know how to make boys do what I want." I teased. He mumbled in response and got to work. He lightly bit my neck then kissed the spot. I loved things like this. I love it when a guy is completely focused on kisses and touching me, just for my benefit. I loved it even more when it was Vic. The neck had always been a weak spot for me and I found myself with my eyes fluttered closed, trying to hold back the quiet moans begging to escape because I didn't want him to know just how sensitive I was.

His lips warmed my already hot skin. I got a preview of what his tongue could do when he licked me from my neck to my collarbone before biting it. I let out a shaky breath. For some reason I was feeling nervous. I had no idea why though. I pushed the feeling away and focused on his kisses. He left them down my chest then to my stomach. His hand rubbing my thigh wasn't helping with my heavy panting. He got down to my hips and grazed his teeth along them lightly. Wow, he was really drawing this out, but I don't think I minded, at least not yet.

He finally pulled my boxers down to my mid thighs so I was left exposed. I felt his lips kissing my thighs. He stopped to suck on part of the skin, undoubtedly leaving a hickey. I didn't care. The more marks the better. He did the same to the other side too. His lips were getting dangerously close to my dick and fuck, I needed it really bad.

"Stop teasing me." I said.

"Why? You tease me all the time." He said. I looked down to see him looking up with a smile

"Tease you? Oh no, let's set the record straight here. Teasing is when you don't give the person what they want. I practically throw myself at you and give you every opportunity to have exactly what you want, but no, you deny me what I want. You are the real tease here, Fuentes, and I-"

"Shut up." He snapped and licked my length from base to tip. I gasped and stopped my little rant right away. That's definitely one way to shut me up.

"O-okay, continue." I breathed. He smiled and licked me again, slowly. I let myself relax and dropped back to the pillow. His tongue circled my tip and I bit down hard on my bottom lip to try and calm myself down. I was so worked up and would probably come in a matter of seconds, but I wanted this to last longer.

His lips enclosed around the tip, sucking on the first two inches. God fucking damn it this felt amazing. His lips covered the next two inches, then he slowly pulled back, running his tongue along the underside. I didn't stop the moan this time. My fingers latched tightly around the bed sheets. He was going tortuously slow. He bobbed his head back down and my tip hit the back of his throat. I didn't look down, but my head was filled with images of my hard dick buried in his mouth and throat. It was the hottest image.

"Fuck, Vic. You have no idea what you're doing to me." I breathed. I wasn't supposed to voice those thoughts, but I had. He chuckled, making vibrations go through me. I whimpered as he picked up the pace, but still went slow. He sucked me into his mouth, I'd hit his throat, then he'd back off and suck my tip. He did it over and over again. I arched my back, squirming around underneath him. He had his hands firmly on my hips to try and make me stop moving. I felt like I was about to explode, but it just didn't feel right.

I suddenly realized why I felt nervous before. It was because I was doing this with someone I really care about, which I've never done before. The realization made me want more than this. Before, I had been content with just fooling around, but in this very moment I wanted every part of him too much to just leave it as exchanging blow jobs. No, I wanted everything and I wanted it now. Doing only this didn't feel right.

"W-wait, stop." I gasped. He stopped in a second and looked up at me. I had been brought right to the brink and for a second I considered telling him to continue, but I didn't.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

I thought about how I could say this. This was Vic I was with. Responsible Vic. He was so adamant that we couldn't do this, but I on the other hand was desperate to. I didn't see the problem with it. We aren't hurting anyone and fuck I needed him so badly. He came back up so he was eye level with me. He looked at me in concern but I just looked back in lust.

"Please." Was the only word to come out of my mouth. It was the only word I had to convince him. It was full of desperation and I felt kind of pathetic really. I had never wanted someone this much before though. He looked back thoughtfully. Doubt clouded his eyes, so I gave him this intent look that I knew what I wanted and that it was okay to do this. It was like we were having a silent conversation with each other and then he gave in.

He crashed his lips to mine, kissing me eagerly. Did he really just agree to this? My heart was pounding erratically. I couldn't believe we were going to do this, but I was ecstatic that we were. My hands were quick to go to his boxers and he didn't stop me this time as I slipped past the material. I wrapped my hand around him. He was hard and more than ready to do this. I stroked him a few times and he pressed himself harder against my hand. I wanted the sex to last longer though and the more I touch him now, the closer he'll get to finishing, so I let go of him. I pushed him away a little to talk.

"I hope that I'm not pressuring you. You know you can say no." I breathed heavily. I needed to give him that option. He kissed me again though. I really loved the feel of his lips. He pulled back again to answer.

"It's me and you, Kellin. You'll seduce me, I'll give in eventually. I was stupid to think otherwise." He said and lowered himself to kiss me again.

"Are you sure?" I stopped him. The last thing I wanted was for him to regret this and blame me for everything.

"It's like you're trying to make me change my mind," He said with a smile, "I don't want to change my mind."

I let him kiss me this time. Good, I knew he wanted this just as badly as I did. I think the whole acting like a responsible adult was just for his own peace of mind. Like he said before, he knew he'd give in. Sweet Vic, always trying to do the right thing. He's right, I am trouble.

His hands were all over my body as we kissed each other hungrily. He rolled his hips into mine, making both of us moan. He really had to be less clothed. I pushed his boxers down and this time when he rubbed against me it was skin on skin contact. My hands went wandering and I stroked him again. God damn I need him.

"Wait," He breathed when he pulled back, "We don't have any stuff."

I smiled cheekily.

"Yes we do. I brought some. I like to be prepared." I said.

"That's awfully presumptuous of you." He said.

"You're so hot when you use big words." I said and kissed him messily. A second later I pushed him off me and got off the bed. I let my boxers fall to the ground and stepped out of them. I smiled back at Vic who was checking me out and then went to the kitchen where I had left my thing. I found the lube and condom then went back to Vic. The second I was on the bed he grabbed me by the hips and pushed me onto my back. I giggled and held one of the objects up to him.

"Do we need this? Because I don't." I said. He looked at the condom and took it from my hand. He smiled and threw it across the other side of the room. Good, because it feels so much better without one and we were both clean, so why not? I expected him to want one though. I guess he really was letting himself go with me. That made me really happy. It was like there was this level of trust between us.

He leaned down and kissed me while taking the bottle of lube out of my hand. I really hoped he doesn't take this slow. I needed him quick. I heard him flicking open the cap and a few moments later he was pressing a finger into me. I moaned against his lips and kissed him harder. I was dying in anticipation. He slipped another finger in and moved both of them in and out slowly. I was getting really impatient now. I needed so much more and he was taking his sweet time with prepping me. Judging by this and the blow job, Vic would probably go slowly when we're having sex too and I needed it faster. I decided to take charge a little.

I lightly pushed his hand away and he took out his fingers. I then rolled us over so he was on his back. I straddled him and wrapped my hand around his dick, slowly stroking. I smiled down at him.

"Impatient much?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Maybe a little. Tell me...do you usually like it fast or slow?" I asked curiously.

"I don't care as long as who I'm with feels good." He said.

"Good answer." I said. With my free hand I took the lube from him and poured a good amount onto his dick and rubbed it all over. His lips parted as he let out a silent gasp. I wondered what his face would look like in the throes of passion. I couldn't wait any longer to find out. I hovered over him and he held my hips, guiding me onto himself. His tip pressed against me and I moaned as he slowly filled me up.

"It feels so good." I whispered. I could hear his shaky breathing, telling me that he loved this too. Our eyes connected as I sunk onto him. When he was completely inside he smiled up at me. I smiled back, bitting on my bottom lip.

"You're big." I told him.

"I know." He said cockily. I really did love seeing this other side to Vic. Sure, when he was being a strict and responsible adult I found him hot as hell, but this, well this was a whole other story.

I put my hands on the sheets on either side of him and started moving slowly at first. I lifted myself up and slowly went back down, getting adjusted to him. He gripped my hips tightly and I felt him move his hips upwards. I guess I wasn't the only impatient one. I moved a little faster, falling into a comfortable pace, sliding him in and out of me. He wrapped his hand around my neck and pulled me down to him. My lips fervently meshed against his. His tongue tasted so sweet as it glided against mine.

I arched my back, massaging his dick inside me. He moaned into my mouth so I did it again. He was breathing so heavily and it made me feel accomplished to know I was making him feel this good. I pushed back and put my hands on his chest. I needed to go faster.

"Having fun?" I asked as I picked up the pace.

"W-what do you think?" He gasped with a smile. He put his hands on my hips and helped me bounced up and down on him. Slow and sensual was out the door. Now it was hot and fast. Every time he went back into me he'd hit right on that bundle of nerves inside of me that had me moaning loudly.

"Oh God, Vic." I moaned in a high pitched voice. I moved faster, slamming myself back down. I cried out in pleasure. I felt so weak on him, but I didn't want to stop. I gyrated my hips, making him moan louder.

"Ugh, Kellin do that again." He gasped, and so I did. I absolutely loved seeing him come undone like this. I loved watching his eyes struggle to stay open. I loved the dark look of lust he gave me. I loved the moans and groans, the panting, the gasps. I loved his lips quivering as it became too much for him.

I leant down and kissed him again. I couldn't begin to describe how amazing this felt. I've felt nothing like it before. Our bodies worked together in perfect sync. He'd thrust up as I'd sink back onto him. He wrapped his arms around my back holding me closer.

"V-Vic, I don't know h-how much longer..." I gasped. He groaned, pushing my hips down harder. I almost lost it then and there. I buried my face in his neck, moaning desperately. I felt like my body was going to give out. I was so fucking sensitive and sometimes I hated myself for it because it'd get to the point where I couldn't function properly.

Vic's domineering side took over quickly though. He flipped me onto my back and thrust into me hard. I moaned loudly and wrapped my arms around his back, digging my nails into his skin.

"H-harder, Vic." I begged, even though I didn't know how much more I could take. He listened to me and pounded into me harder. I moaned and arched my back, wanting to fit more of him in me. He kissed and bit my neck.

"Are you close? Please tell me you're close." He growled into my ear. Through my quick panting I managed to gasp out an answer.

"Y-yes. Touch m-me... please." I pleaded. He pulled back and looked at me as he wrapped his hand around my dick. Our eyes never lost contact. It was an amazing feeling really, to look into the eyes of the person you care so much for and watch each other at our most vulnerable. I moaned desperately as he flicked his wrist quickly. I couldn't handle it anymore. The pleasure pooling in the bottom of my stomach couldn't be kept at bay any longer.

"V-Vic. Ugh, Vic." I moaned his name over and over again as my climax washed over me. I shot onto my stomach. I watched his eyes as they looked down quickly.

"Fuck, Kells." He gasped at the sight below. Two thrust later and he stalled inside me as he came. The look on his face was the hottest thing I've ever seen. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled him down for a kiss. He kissed back passionately, his hand coming up and running through my hair. I've never had a more perfect experience before. He pushed himself back and pulled out of me. Breathlessly he fell onto the bed on his back.

My body was coursing with ecstasy. I could practically feel my heartbeat pounding through my whole body. I turned my head to him to see him already looking at me.

"No regrets, right?" I asked. He smiled and shook his head.

"None, I promise." He said. I sighed in my content state and looked back at the ceiling.

"Can you believe we just did that?" I asked.

"Not really. But it was really fun. Do you even know how hot you are?" He questioned. I smiled at that and nodded.

"Of course I do." I said. We fell into a silence. I didn't know what he was thinking about but I was replaying everything that just happened in my mind over and over. I never wanted to forget this. Now all I wanted to do was fall asleep with him.

"I'm gonna clean up." I said and sat up. He grabbed my arm though, stopping me. I turned back to him just as he sat up. He cupped my cheek in his hand and kissed me softly. So many emotions just exploded inside of me at that second because of this one kiss.

"Don't take too long, I'll miss you." He said sweetly. I smiled brightly and nodded. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I walked through the kitchen and into the bathroom. I couldn't believe that that just happened. I had wanted it for so long. I practically dreamt about it and now it's happened. It was beyond perfect. The first time with a new boyfriend can be awkward sometimes, but it was like we were in sync with each other. It was like we somehow knew what the other would like. Perfect was the only word I could use to describe it. I was now completely ignoring the fact that I was being emotional and sappy, instead opting to just go with it, just for tonight. I wasn't going to ruin the moment by trying to keep up my careless persona.

When I was done cleaning myself I looked up in the mirror and honestly I was shocked at what I saw. There was a real, genuine smile that reached my eyes. It's kind of lame to start crying over your own happiness, right? But my eyes watered up, glistening with unshed tears. I couldn't help it. I just didn't expect this to happen to me. I didn't expect to find someone like Vic. I didn't expect to feel special and important. I didn't expect to be this happy. I didn't expect to-

"Oh fuck." I blurted out and quickly covered my mouth, not wanting Vic to hear my little outburst. My heart was hammering hard against my chest and I let my hand drop to my side. Still looking in the mirror I pondered if the thought that had just gone through my head was true. I had thought it so casually. I didn't even question it before I thought it, but now as I searched my own eyes for a glimmer of falsity, but I found nothing but truth.

I'm fucking in love with him.

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I had never been in love before. I wasn't even sure I knew what it felt like, but I felt like this was it. Maybe my emotions were just running high because of what we just did, I don't know. But right now my feelings were as real as ever and they were terrifying.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I remembered he was waiting for me. I left the bathroom, going back through the kitchen and into the bedroom. Vic wasn't in bed, but I saw him through the curtains, standing on the balcony wearing just his boxers. Damn he's attractive. I picked my boxers up off the ground, slipped them on and went out to him.

"Hey." I caught his attention. He turned to me, leaned against the railing and smiled. Love, love, love. The word kept dancing around the back of my mind. I didn't know whether to be happy or scared. I just stepped towards him and hugged him, desperately seeking comfort. He held me back tightly. I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed. I was suddenly feeling really exhausted.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. I didn't want to tell him about my feelings. I didn't know how to deal with them yet, so for now I ignored them.

"Nothing, you?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said quietly.

I moved my head and looked at him. God fucking damn it, he's perfect. I felt like I was going to explode and tell him everything I felt, but I didn't want to.

"I'm tired." I said, knowing that sleep would stop me from saying anything I might regret in the morning. He smiled at me.

"Come on then, let's go to sleep, but for real this time." He said the last part sternly.

"You mean no round two?" I asked cheekily. He just rolled his eyes, made me turn around and pushed me back into the room. The two of us crawled back into bed together, facing each other, before falling asleep.

Chapter Text

When I woke up my eyes met the unfamiliar ceiling of the hotel room. I had the urge to fall asleep again, but when I remembered everything that happened last night I suddenly didn't want to sleep. A genuine smile formed on my lips. I turned onto my side to look at Vic. His back was facing me. I guess he rolled over during the night. With the smile still firmly planted on my lips, I moved closer and slowly slid my arm around his waist. I placed a kiss on the cold skin of his shoulder. This was so perfect.

He made a groaning sound, so I guess I disturbed his sleep. I looked out the window, seeing that the sun was barely out. It was actually quite early. He groaned again and shifted around so he was facing me. His tired eyes looked back at mine. Honestly it was the cutest sight I've ever seen.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered. He didn't say anything, he just moved closer and wrapped his arms around me. The front of this body was a lot warmer than the back. I cuddled in as close as I could to him. My head was resting on his shoulder and our legs were intertwined together. It was perfect being this close to him.

I soon heard his breathing even out and his hold on me lessen as he drifted back off to sleep. I relaxed and did the same. While I was falling asleep I once again thought about my feelings for him. Last night I came to the very sudden realization that I'm in love with him, or at least falling hard. I thought that maybe I was over reacting because we had sex, but now that it's morning those feelings haven't changed. We haven't even been together that long, plus the time that we have had together was riddled with drama because of my disorder, but through all of that I've grown really close to him. Part of me wanted to tell him, but I wouldn't because we haven't been in a relationship for very long. It would probably freak him out. He might think that I'm just some stupid school boy falling too hard and too fast. Although it hasn't been that long, it's definitely been intense. The times that we were together moved so quickly. I felt like I had been with him for months, not weeks. But still, no matter how sure I was of my feelings, I would keep them to myself, for now at least.

I fell asleep shortly after those thoughts and woke up to Vic shaking me lightly. Being a teenage boy who doesn't like getting woken up by anything other than myself, I groaned and turned away from him. We had probably only slept for another couple of hours but it was enough to leave me disoriented and tired when I was woken up again.

"Wake up, Kellin," Vic's voice was close to my ear. I mumbled something incoherent, really not wanting to be awake. I was lying on my stomach with my face buried deep into the pillow. I felt the weight on the Mattress shift and knew he had just straddled me. He kissed my shoulder, but kisses weren't enough to wake me up.

"Go away. Sleeping," I muttered but it came out all jumbled so I wasn't sure if he even understood me.

"No, get up. I only have a little bit of time left with you," he said.

"Why can't it be spent sleeping?" I asked.

"Because, I want to do something else," he whispered seductively. His hands trailed up and down my back, and just like that I wasn't so tired anymore. I rolled over with him still on top. He smiled down at me.

"Well why didn't you just say so?" I asked and sat up to kiss him. He got off of me though, leaving me confused.

"I thought that'd wake you up," he said, grinning. I groaned and fell back onto the bed.

"You're a dick," I said.

"But I brought you food," he said and stepped to the side. I saw one of those room service carts with food laid out on top of it. Suddenly I was feeling all cheery again. My smile widened when I saw that the food was pancakes.

"Pancakes! You sure know the way to my heart," I said. I felt awkward after saying that because I knew full well that he had completely infiltrated my heart. It was his to do whatever he wanted with. I pushed the thoughts from my mind as Vic pulled the cart towards me. I sat up on the bed, swinging my legs over the side. He sat next to me and we used the cart as a table.

"This is awesome, thank you," I said.

"Anything for you," he said and kissed my cheek. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face even as we began to eat the not-so-healthy breakfast.

"When did you wake up?" I asked.

"About an hour ago," he replied casually.

"A whole hour to creepily watch me while I was sleeping," I teased.

"More or less," he shrugged, not denying it at all. I guess that was kind of cute.

"What's the time now?" I asked him.

"Just before 8. We have to check out by 9," he said. I wasn't too happy about that. I wanted to spend the whole day wrapped up in these sheets with him. I want to touch and kiss him while we're still alone without the fear of someone catching us.

"I don't want this weekend to end," I admitted. He looked at me with a half-hearted smile.

"Either do I. Trust me, I don't. It's been beyond perfect being here with you," he said quietly. That was really sweet of him. I just smiled and went back to eating. Nothing else was said while we ate breakfast. It was a comfortable silence though. Nothing needed to be said. We were just enjoying each other's company while we could.

When we were done eating I made my way into the bathroom, did my business, washed my hands, and then searched through their drawers. Like in most hotels there were new packets of toothbrushes and toothpaste. I had forgotten to bring mine, of course. I don't tend to be very organized. Vic on the other hand was. He joined me in the bathroom, holding his own things. I rolled my eyes at how prepared he was. He made me feel so inadequate sometimes. I had just started brushing my teeth when he came in.

"Hey wait your turn," I said with a mouth full of froth.

"Well that's attractive," he said sarcastically, but he didn't leave the bathroom.

"I know, which is why I told you to wait," I said. I guess he was in the mood to annoy me though because he didn't wait, he started brushing his teeth too. I huffed and finished off quickly. Even though I was done, I stayed in there just to bother him. I kept staring at him and smiling. He poked his tongue out at me though, showing the toothpaste filled contents on his tongue. I scrunched up my nose, pretending that I was utterly disgusted.

"That's so gross," I said, although on the inside I was actually glad he was being so comfortable and just, well, normal around me.

"Deal with it," he shrugged.

"You better not be like this when we're living togeth-" I stopped talking the second I realized what I was saying. Where the hell had that even come from? It was a slip of the tongue and mind.

"Oh God, I didn't mean to say that. I mean, I didn't mean it like that, not like in a literal way. I was saying like hypothetically. I..." I didn't know what to say.

My face was flushed red in embarrassment because I literally just said that we would live together one day. I didn't even want that right now so I don't know why I said it. I'm fucking in love with him and I'm never been in love with someone before. This is all new to me, but in the back of my head I guess I was imagining that we would be together for a long time. He probably thinks I'm crazy or trying to move this too fast. This is too fast, right? I was suddenly so aware of my emotions and how quickly they had changed and it was like I was about to have a panic attack. Had I taken my pills lately? No. I was a little overdue. I needed to take one.

"I'm just gonna..." I didn't finish my sentence. Instead I turned and got out of there quickly. His face looked so blank. It was like he was thinking about something. He was probably thinking about how completely crazy I am.

I stopped in the kitchen where my things still were and found my pills. I quickly took one. I was worried, like always, that the whole bipolar thing would resurface. My therapist told me to stay calm and that while I'm on my pills most of my emotions are probably natural, but when I feel something strongly, like the amount of anxiety I have right now, I start to get worried. I shouldn't be though. I can control it.

What I can't control though is my stupid mouth and what comes out of it. I can't believe I said that to Vic. He'll probably run for the hills. I groaned and went back into the bedroom. I flopped down on the bed and covered my face with a pillow. I heard him enter the room shortly after.

"You're really cute, you know that right?" he questioned. Relief washed through me knowing that he wasn't freaked out.

"Shut up, I didn't mean to say that," I said into the pillow. It came out muffled but I'm sure he understood me.

"Sure you didn't. Soon you'll be asking me to marry you and adopt children," he teased. I flung the pillow off my face and looked at his evil smile. Jerk.

"Shut the fuck up," I snapped. I guess he bought the whole 'I didn't mean it like that' excuse, when really in my head I was thinking about how great living with him would be. Fuck, when did I get so domestic? I was now seeing the pitfalls of being in love with someone.

"Stop sulking," he said. I shook my head.

"I'll sulk all I want. Leave me alone," I said, looking at him. He shrugged.

"Alright, but my shower won't be even nearly as much fun without you in it," he said and smiled innocently.

He walked off back towards the bathroom and I was left there wondering who that man was and what did he do with the real Vic Fuentes? He was being so open and flirty. If you asked me 24 hours ago if Vic would invite me to shower with him I'd laugh in your face, but now here he was, doing just that. I guess that after last night it opened up this whole new world to us. He was relaxed now that we had passed that threshold. It was like since we've done it all already, we can keep doing it.

With a cheeky smile on my face I got up and walked back through the kitchen to the bathroom. Walking in I saw Vic with his hand under the shower, feeling it as it heated up. He looked back and smiled at me.

"I guess you decided to join," he said.

"Well I definitely wasn't going to miss this opportunity," I told him. I boldly pushed my boxers down, letting them easily fall to the floor. Vic's eyes scanned my body and he looked away. Thoughts from last night came flooding back to me. I felt myself go hot all over. Just like last night, I wanted him bad. I walked up behind him and slid my arms around his waist. I went to slip my hand into his boxers but he grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"We don't have time to mess around, Kellin. We're just getting clean," he said. I rolled my eyes. I guess if that's how he wanted to play this then fine, I guess I'll play along.

"Of course, just washing ourselves," I said innocently. I stepped past him and into the warm shower, letting the water wet my whole body and hair.

We didn't last long. Really. It was barely a minute before we were fooling around under the water, unable to keep out hands off each other once more. Last night was special enough as it was, but now that I realized my feelings for him, having sex with him blew my mind. It was a whole new kind of experience.

I just hoped he felt the way. I hoped this was more to him. I hoped this wasn't just lust, because even though I quite often made it out as though I just wanted to fool around, I didn't just want that now. I wish I could read his mind.

After we calmed down after our activities, I turned to him, smiling. He was quick to capture my lips with his in a zealous kiss. After that I really wanted to tell him that I loved him, but my emotions were running so high that I thought I'd wait a few days before doing that, just in case it was a false alarm. He really was perfect and I was seeing that more and more as I spent more time with him.

"I can't remember the last time I had so much fun," he said, pulling out of the kiss. He kept his hands firmly on my hips.

"I'm really glad you're loosening up with me," I told him. I smiled and lightly bit on my bottom lip. My entire body felt like it was floating. I felt so relaxed now, no longer paVicy.

"Yeah, maybe even too much," he said and dipped down to kiss my neck, "I kind of forgot you're, you know, my student,"

It was an awkward topic, but he said it in a light-hearted way. We knew we were breaking the law, but when we were together it really didn't feel like we were.

"And now it's back to reality," I said a little bitterly. I knew it was getting really close to check out time. He pulled back and little and looked me in the eyes. His hands came up to my face and caressed my cheeks. I smiled sweetly, loving how gently he touched me.

"I want to try and hold onto this, like who we are right now. I want to keep having the type of relationship we have now, you know?" he asked.

"Like sex all the time?" I asked with a wink. He rolled his eyes.

"Not all the time. I just mean...I want to be close. Like when we're alone I want us to be like this and I don't want to be constantly holding back anymore. I mean, obviously we can't be open about it," he said.

"Obviously," I said. I was happy that he was saying this because all I've wanted was for him to let his guard down and be normal with me, so this was perfect.

"I just can't wait until you graduate and then we can really be together," he said. He rubbed his nose against mine. I smiled and pressed my lips to his. I couldn't wait for that either.

—-

Vic and I went home separately, just in case anyone saw us leaving the hotel room or the city together. I was home by 10 and was greeted by my mother's stern looking face when I walked through the door.

"Great, what have I done now?" I asked with a sigh.

"Where were you last night?" she asked. I felt my face go warm because honestly I thought I had been caught out. There was no way she could know where I was, right? So, I did what I did best with my parents and lied.

"Uh, I told you, I was at Alex's," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I called Alex's house because I needed to ask you if I could borrow your laptop, but when I asked his parents if you were there they said they hadn't seen you for weeks. You weren't there, but Alex was so you couldn't have been out with him. And before you say you were with Tay, or that new friend of yours, Mike, I already called them and they said they hadn't heard from you," she explained. Fuck, she called Mike? I guess she somehow found Vic's home number, probably on the school website or in the phone book. I hoped Mike wasn't smart enough to put together that Vic and I were both missing, meaning that we were together.

"Where were you, Kellin?" she asked again. I racked my brain for a lie and came up with one quickly.

"Alright, fine...you caught me...I was with Oli," I told her.

"Oli?" she asked, sounding less than impressed. She knew he was trouble.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't tell you because, well, I knew you wouldn't want me seeing anyone so soon after finding out I'm bipolar," I said. Damn, I'm a good liar when I wanted to be.

"You're damn right I don't want you seeing anyone, especially Oli. I've heard stories about him and he's not good for you, you know that. You're smarter than that, Kellin. I don't want you seeing him again," she said. Oh, jee, whatever will I do without Oli in my life? Even though I couldn't possibly care less about never seeing Oli, I pretended as though I didn't like the decision.

"But mom! That's so unfair!" I argued.

"No arguments! I know you think I'm being the 'mean mom', but this will be best for you. He's a bad influence and you really don't need that while you're fragile," she said. I scowled at the "fragile" remark. I wasn't god damn fragile.

"Ugh,fine! Whatever!" I said, faking my anger. I stormed past her and up the stairs.I slammed the door behind me when I got to my room. I dropped the angry facade and rolled my eyes. Parents are so easy to fool.

Chapter Text

"Gaskarth!" I called out when I saw Alex in the halls on Monday morning. He looked up at me with a confused expression. He was standing with Tay and Mike who both stepped away from him when they saw how angry I was. In all truth I wasn't that angry, I was over-exaggerating a little bit. I marched over to the idiotic boy though and glared at him.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it," he said. Genuine fear was in his eyes. He actually looked like he was scared of me. Was I really that scary? I calmed down as I got to him.

"I thought I told you to cover for me on Saturday night," I said. He visibly relaxed and let out a sigh of relief. Wow, and here I thought it was me being over-dramatic, yet he was freaking out.

"Sorry, Kellin. My parents answered the phone and told yours that you weren't there. Where were you anyway?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, where were you? Your mom called me too," Tay said.

"And me," Mike added. I looked at Mike quickly, analyzing his expression. I didn't want him to put together that I was with Vic that night. Judging by his confused expression he didn't know though.

"What? Nowhere. With some guy. Getting high and stuff, you know, the usual," I lied quickly. My parents were a lot easier to lie to than these three. They didn't seem to care that much about my whereabouts though because they dropped the subject.

I left them shortly after, muttering something about going to the bathroom before class, but instead I took the stairs two at a time to get up to the floor Vic's office was on. Like always, I couldn't wait to see him. The weekend was absolutely perfect, but truth be told I was a little nervous that he might regret what happened with us on the weekend. It'd probably break me if he did. Saturday night was the most perfect night of my life and if he didn't feel the same, well, I don't know what I would do.

When I got to his door I knocked and stood there patiently. Ten seconds later the door opened and Vic smiled at me.

"You busy?" I asked. Without saying anything he stepped to the side. I walked in and he shut the door, locking it behind us.

"We can't talk for long. I have a class to teach," he said.

"That's okay. I just wanted to come and see you," I said with a huge smile on my face. I just couldn't keep it off when I was around him.

"That's very sweet of you," he said, stepping closer to me. When he was close enough I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer by my hips. That feeling of love hadn't left all weekend. I still felt it and for a second I thought I was going to tell him, but thankfully he pressed his lips against mine. I sighed into the kiss. I felt completely content with this moment. I don't think he knows how perfect he is.

"Can I come over tonight?" I asked when I pulled away. He kissed my forehead then shook his head.

"Sorry, I have a lot of papers to read over tonight, plus, you have homework," he said. I frowned in confusion.

"I don't have homework," I pointed out.

"Yeah you do. I'm setting some in Biology today," he said. I groaned and went to pull away, put with his strong embrace I didn't get very far.

"You're mean. How about you don't set homework and you don't read over papers and we can have some fun instead," I suggested flirtatiously. I smiled and bit my bottom lip. He laughed lightly and shook his head once more.

"No, I can't. I was supposed to go over the papers on the weekend, but I was a little preoccupied," he said. I gave an innocent look. Despite the little bit of guilt I felt for putting him behind on his work, I still wanted to spend time with him. You don't just have a hot and passionate weekend like we did then stop abruptly. I wanted to be around him all the time, so I bargained with him.

"What if I still come over, but we make it like a study date. You can grade papers and I can do my homework," I said. He gave a look of disbelief.

"A study date? Sure, because that will last a whole five minutes before you get up to no good," he said.

"Me? Up to no good? Never. I'm an angel," I smiled sweetly.

"Nope, you're the devil and you know it," he said. He leaned in and kissed me again. I could have his lips on mine all day and never get sick of it.

"Go to class," he ordered in a whisper.

"Nope, not until you agree to let me come over," I muttered before I deepened the kiss. I slid my tongue in his mouth and he made a quiet moaning sound. I loved having this kind of effect on guys. The kiss was getting hot and his hands started to wander. Honestly doing anything physical hadn't even been on my mind. I wanted to be with him tonight, but my intentions weren't sex. I just wanted to be near him. Of course, since I'm constantly flirtatious he just assumes that's what I want. I guess I can't blame him.

"Mmm, okay, okay," he said and pushed me away before things went too far, "You can come over. But it's a study date, nothing more. I'll text you when it's okay to come over."

I smiled and pecked him on the lips.

"Thank you, you're the best," I said and let go of him. I went to the door and opened it, "See you in Biology, Mr. Fuentes," I smiled cheekily and gave a wave before I left for class.

—-

That night I had sat next to my phone, constantly checking it and waiting for Vic to text me. When he did I was sneaking out of my room with my biology books and a pen in hand. My parents were oblivious to the fact that I was leaving. I told them earlier that I wasn't feeling well and went to bed early. They wouldn't check on me, and if they did figure out I was gone then I'd just lie to them again. I felt like my relationship with Vic was getting riskier, but it was a risk I was willing to take. I didn't have anything to lose. He did though, but we were careful. No one will find out.

Soon enough I was quietly tip-toeing around the side of Vic's house to his window. I tapped on it lightly and looked inside. The light was on and he was in the corner of the room at his desk. He looked over and smiled at me. I waited patiently while he locked his bedroom door then slid the window open.

"Hey cutie," I said, flashing a smile.

"Hey yourself," he whispered. He helped me climb through the window. The second I was in my lips were on his. I guess you could say I missed him. I had seen him just before I left school, but I still missed him. This whole 'love' thing is messed up. It should be illegal to like someone this much. Oh wait, it literally is illegal. I laughed at my own stupidity and stopped kissing him.

"What's so funny?" he asked quietly. He was being so quiet so I guess Mike might still be awake. To be safe I stayed quiet too.

"Nothing, come back here," I brushed it off and went to kiss him again. He pushed me away though.

"Uh uh, I thought we agreed that you would do your homework," he said.

"What are you, my mother?" I questioned.

"I sure hope not," he chuckled. I laughed sarcastically and stepped away from him before the conversation got any weirder.

"I missed you," I told him. He smiled wider and blushed.

"If you're trying to sweet talk me into fooling around then it's not going to work. You're doing your homework. Now, do you want the desk or the bed?" he asked. I sighed dramatically. Fun's over, I guess.

Chapter Text

It had been a couple days since I was last alone with Vic and I've gotta say, the sexual tension was really getting to me. We barely talked and instead communicated with looks. Every time I'd see him in the halls he'd give me this look like he wanted to push me against the lockers and kiss me, or at least that's what I wanted him to do. Since I could never get him alone I was stuck with my intense daydreams about him. It drove me insane just thinking about these things and not being able to act on them.

Take right now for instance, I was sitting in Biology and Vic was talking about God only knows what. I was less preoccupied with what he was saying and more focused on how damn hot he looked today. I thought about wrapping my legs around him as picks me up and presses me against the board to fuck me. My skin was hot and my breathing heavy. This is what he does to me. I get put into this trance where the only thing I think about is fooling around with him.

And then something happens that brings you back to reality; like the school bell ringing to indicate it was time to leave. I snapped out of my daze and looked around. I was a little paranoid that someone might have known what I was thinking about, but everyone was none the wiser. I was about to get up with my friends and leave the classroom when I realized I had a problem. I looked down at the front of my jeans. It was quite a big problem. I couldn't leave class with an obvious bulge in my jeans.

"Kellin, are you coming?" Alex asked.

"Coming? Am I...Am I coming? What are you-" I stopped myself, clearing my mind of all dirty thoughts, "Oh right, coming with you to the next class. Yeah, class. You know what, I actually have to talk to Fuentes' about something first so you just run along now."

He gave me the weirdest look. He probably thought I was insane. I pulled myself closer to the desk so he wouldn't notice the problem.

"Uh, okay, see you later then." He said dismissively before walking out along with Tay and Mike. The class cleared out and I stayed put. Vic's eyes landed on me in a questioning look. I smiled innocently. How the hell am I going to get out of this one? Once everyone was gone Vic walked over to me.

"You know, the bell means you can leave." He said.

"Well, maybe I'm having too much fun and don't wanna leave." I suggested. He smiled but it was clear he didn't buy it. He stopped at the end of my desk and looked down at me with his arms crossed.

"What's up, Kellin?" He asked. Just my dick.

"Nothing." I said quickly.

"Why aren't you going to class?" He asked. I bit my bottom lip and looked up at him innocently. I was sure there was a pink blush forming on my cheeks.

"Wait...stand up." He said. Oh great, he knows.

"I'd rather not." I said casually. He smiled, a little evilly I must say, and put his hands on my desk, leaning over me.

"You wanna know what I think?" He asked.

"Yes, I wanna know what you think." My voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I think...that all that eye fucking you gave me in class had a bit of an effect on you." He said in a low voice. Yeah, he definitely knows what my problem is. Was I really that obvious?

"Oh, so you noticed that then, huh?" I questioned.

"Noticed? It was hard not to." He said. I smiled because that meant he was probably thinking about the same things I had.

"Well...I couldn't quite help myself. You don't have a class next, do you?" I asked.

"No." He said warily.

"How about you help me out then?" I asked flirtatiously.

"Kell..." He started to reject me.

"Please?" I begged and stood up so we were eye level, "We haven't had any time alone in so long."

"It's been a couple of days." He pointed out.

"Yeah well you aren't a horny teenager who only thinks about sex 90% of the time." I argued.

"Trust me, I may not be a teenager but-"

"Shut up." I quickly interrupted him. Miss McDougall had just entered the room because she had to teach a class in here next. If Vic kept talking that would have been a little disastrous. He frowned at me before turning and seeing her.

"Oh, Miss McDougall, we'll be out of your way in a second." Vic said.

"No rush." She said lightly and went about unpacking books on her desk.

"Can I come over tonight?" I whispered so only he would hear. He looked back at me and shook his head.

"No. I feel like Mike is starting to get suspicious." He said. Fair point.

"Then when can I see you? This weekend?" I asked.

"I can't. I'm busy. I have a lot of work to catch up on. I have like 50 papers to grade." He said. Damn him and his responsibilities. If he isn't going to give me time then I'll have to make it myself.

"Fuck you, Mr Fuentes." I said loudly. Miss McDougall looked up from her desk with a surprised expression on her face. Vic was looking confused.

"What?" He asked.

"I said, fuck you." I repeated myself. He frowned, then looked at Miss McDougall, and when he looked back at me I saw that he understood what I was doing. Miss McDougall wouldn't expect Vic to just let me get away with swearing at him, so he was forced to give me a detention, which means I get some time with him.

"Detention, this afternoon." He said bluntly.

"Oh gosh that's such a shame. Classroom or your office?" I asked. He contemplated it before answering.

"My office." He said. Good, that was the answer I wanted to hear. The office meant a locked door and no other students. He made a good choice. I smiled in success and he rolled his eyes, but I saw the look in them before he did. He knew exactly what was going to happen this afternoon.

After my last class of the day I took my sweet time walking down the halls. I wanted to wait until a lot of students were gone. Most would run off straight away, unless you were part of sport teams, but those students would be far away from Vic's office. I made a pit-stop at Oliver's locker. For some reason he always has a bottle of lube at the ready, which I never understood because it's not like I'd ever have sex with him at school, no matter how hard he tried to tempt me. No, I reserved that for special people. I knew his locker combination, so I was able to steal it and shove it into my messenger bag before heading to Vic's office.

I walked straight in through his door, not bothering to knock. He was sitting at his desk doing work. He's really hot when he's concentrating. I shut and locked the door behind me, making sure it was secure.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up." He said, not looking up from the paperwork. I would not tolerate him paying more attention to that than me right now. I strolled over to him, dropped my bag by the desk and hovered over him. I took the pen from him and gathered the papers.

"What are you doing?" He asked. I didn't answer him. I put everything to the side then sat on his desk in front of him.

"I'm ready for my punishment." I said in a sweet voice. I saw the little tug of his lips, but still he didn't give in so easily. I didn't expect him to.

"Good. You can sit over there and write an essay on how you're not supposed to curse at an authority figure." He said.

"Ooh, an authority figure." I mocked him, "Sounds kind of sexy..."

He didn't make a comment.

"You know...I totally dig this kink. Like...the assertive, demanding teacher teaching his student a lesson and showing him who's boss." I flirted.

Still, he said nothing, and that's always a sign that he's having an inner battle with himself. Usually the topic of us being in a student/teacher relationship would bother him, but today he was looking at me with that lusty look in his eyes. People can be responsible all they want, but they have to have a breaking point and I think Vic has reached it.

"Come here." I said seductively. He didn't make a move, but I noticed him discreetly biting his bottom lip. I reached forward and grabbed his tie. He easily let me pull him up so we were level with each other. I wanted him really badly. We can't just have sex over the weekend and then completely stop. He's like a drug to me. I stared into his eyes, daring him to make a move.

"Come on, Mr Fuentes...show me who's boss." I whispered. I brushed my lips against his, our noses lightly touching.

"We already know I'm boss." He said, playing along with my little game.

"Oh really? Because I seem to call all the shots around here." I teased. It was the truth though. I was now so lost in the small touches. His lips were barely touching mine and it was torturous, but whenever they did my heart would skip a beat. I held his shirt, wanting him closer and he didn't disappoint. He grabbed my hips and roughly pulled me closer to the edge of the desk so I was firmly pressed against him. I gasped in surprise.

"Hm...you might have to do a little more to prove it." I said. He smiled before his lips went to my neck. I closed my eyes, enjoying and savoring the touches. I loved that I could be so flirtatious and open with someone that I really like, or love. I couldn't get past the fact that I actually had a boyfriend.

He knew exactly where to kiss to make me all hot and bothered. I tried to hide just how much power he has over me. I wanted to be strong and take control but when it comes down to it, I'm so weak whenever he touches me. He palmed the quickly swelling bulge through my jeans. Wow, he was actually doing this. Here. At school.

"You better not be screwing with me right now." I breathed. I swear to fucking God if he gets me all worked up then changes his mind I'll kill him.

"Not a chance." His voice was deep and made me want to whimper.

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me deeply. I moaned into his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck while his slipped around my back. I couldn't get enough of him. I wrapped my legs around him and arched my back to grind myself against him. He leaned into me, doing the same. My jeans were tightening with every second and by the feel of it, so were his.

It felt incredible every time he rubbed against me. He was practically humping me and I didn't mind it one bit. I groaned and held his hair tighter, kissing him harder. I was getting carried away and finding it difficult to control myself. I just wanted him to fuck me here and now. To distract myself from tipping over the edge I focused on the buttons of his shirt. My hands roamed his chest every time I got one undone. I wanted to leave his tie on because he looked so hot with it.

I got the shirt undone, but didn't push it off. I slid my hands around his back and trailed my fingernails along the flexing muscles. He grasped my hips tightly and rolled his, grinding against me again. He kissed my neck, giving me a much needed moment to breathe, although my breaths ended up like panting.

"Fuck." I gasped when he bit my neck. He sucked on the spot and my skin tingled with a dull pain. I loved the thought of a guy marking me, not just any guy, but him. I needed him now. I pushed him back. He was surprised and fell into his chair. He looked at me with darkened eyes. His chest was visibly rising and falling as he took in deep, shaky, breaths.

I took my shirt off and tossed it on the floor before slipping off the desk and dropping to my knees in an instant, situating myself between his legs. I looked up with an innocent smile. I was so playful, but most of the time he's so serious. He wasn't much of a talker during things like this either, but that just made it all the more intense. It was an interesting dynamic; him being serious and me being fun. I liked it.

I looked down at the protruding lump hiding behind the jeans. I wanted to tease him a little, so I kissed the material slowly, tortuously.

"Kell, no messing around." He warned me, and I knew the full meaning behind it. We were fooling around at school. Sure, the door was locked, there was hardly anyone on the premises, and the walls were soundproof, but that didn't stop both of our heart rates rising knowing that we were doing something wrong where we shouldn't be doing it. It was the danger that was such a turn on. I knew he liked it too, only he wanted to get it done quickly, so enough teasing.

I undid his belt and loosened his jeans. He lifted himself from the chair so I could easily pull them down to his ankles. He looked like he was already at full size. It was nice to know that I could turn him on with a simple make-out session. I took hold of him and stroked him slowly at first. I heard him have a sharp intake of breath. He was so hard that he probably didn't even need the foreplay, but what can I say? I had a bit of a craving to pleasure him like this.

While still looking up with innocent eyes I flicked my tongue along his tip. He sighed and ran his fingers through my hair affectionately. I kissed his tip, lightly brushing my lips across it.

"Kellin..." He moaned warningly. I grinned before taking him in my mouth properly. He groaned as he filled up my warm mouth. His shaft slid along my tongue and his tip hit the back of my throat. His fingers clenched into a fist in my hair then he was helping me bob my head up and down. He must have been feeling extra sensitive today because he was squirming around, unable to sit still. I loved doing this for him. I loved the sounds he made and how his body moved. It was like he was silently begging me for more.

I moved faster, sucking on every inch. I tasted the salty pre-cum along his tip. Damn, he was really turned on. I don't think I've ever gotten him this hard before. I could practically feel him pulsating against my tongue. His panting was getting quicker and as much as those pants got me all riled up inside, I had to stop because I didn't want him to finish so soon. I pulled back, licking my lips.

I stood up, but still bending over so I was eye level with him. I leaned in and kissed his neck, then pulled back again to speak. I didn't care how dominating he was over me when we have sex, I was still the assertive one here.

"I'll tell you something, Mr Fuentes. Trust me, I thoroughly enjoyed what we did on the weekend, but this time I don't want cute and sweet. I want it different this time. I want it hard and fast...do you think you can do that for me?" I asked with and edge of condescension to my voice.

As if he were proving a point he stood up and forcefully pushed me back against the desk.

"I think I can manage." He said cockily. I smiled and pointed to my bag.

"There's lube in there." I told him. He bent down to go through my bag, almost tripping over his jeans in the process because he's such a dork. He stood back up with the lube in hand.

"Turn around, now." He demanded. Oh, looks like he's listening to what I want. I loved that we could be so open about what we do sexually. Really we were just two horny boys needing a good fuck from each other. I did as he told me to do and in a second he was kissing the back of my neck and shoulders. He trailed his hands down my body and around to the front of my jeans. He rubbed his hand over the bulge a few times then finally undid them. When he pushed them and my boxers down it was a relief. I was so constrained in those jeans and had been basically all day.

He wrapped his hand around me and stroked it quickly. I groaned, maybe a little too loudly because he put his other hand over my mouth. I had to remember where we were.

"Shh, I know I can make you scream, but try and contain it." He said. I nodded submissively and he took his hand away. This whole situation was so hot. He stopped stroking me and made me bend over the table. I've always wanted to be fucked over a table.

He ran his hand along my ass. I glanced back to see him enjoying the view. I merely smirked. I know every part of me is attractive. I might as well embrace it. I turned away from him again as he opened the lube. Next I felt his fingers, two of them, slip into me. This was the tedious part about sex. I just wanted him now. I didn't care about preparation. He did it so well though. He curled his fingers, massaging me. I admit that felt really good, but it wasn't enough.

"Vic, please." I gasped.

"Please what?" He asked.

"Please...please fuck me." I said.

"Fuck you...what?" He asked, playing along. It was good to see him relax and talk like this.

"Please...fuck me, sir." I said. In any other situation he would have hated me pointing out that he's my teacher, but right now it worked. Right now the power imbalance between us was the hottest thing ever.

"Okay, but only because you asked nicely." He said. He stopped touching me completely and I didn't look back to see what he was doing, but eventually I felt him pressing against me. He slipped his tip in and I bit down on my bottom lip hard to stop myself making any noise.

"Hey Kell?" He breathed.

"Mhm?"

"Don't scream." He said then slammed the rest of the way in. I opened my mouth, ready to let out a cry of pleasure, but I stayed silent, mostly. The scream was replaced with a desperate, but quiet groan. His entire length filled me perfect. My body was on fire. I needed more.

"Fuck me." I pleaded. He didn't move, so I wriggled against him. He gasped and grabbed my hips to make me stop.

"Please." I begged. I needed it so bad. I needed every inch of him working it's magic. He finally obeyed me and slid most of the way out before slamming back in.

"Fuck," I gasped, "If you want me to be quiet then you need to stop doing that."

"I don't want you to be quiet, I need you to be quiet." He corrected me.

"Whatever just f-" Before I could finish my sentence he moved again, gyrating himself inside me.

"Th-that, yes, d-do that." I stuttered pathetically. He did it again and again, getting a good feel of every inch of me. The he stopped and started thrusting in and out.

"Harder, Mr Fuentes." I whispered. He tangled his fingers in my hair and pulled me up to his chest.

"You want it harder?" He growled in my ear. I whimpered a 'yes'. "What about faster?"

I nodded quickly. Oh the fucking things he's doing to me right now. If this is what our sex life is going to be like then I want to do it every day. My hormones were running wild. He slammed into me harder and faster, moving his hips quickly.

"Like this?" He asked.

"Yes...yes, just like that." I moaned. He pushed me back onto the desk and I propped myself up on my elbows. In this position he was able to grab my hips and move faster. He pounded into me relentlessly. I had to bury my face in my arm to stop from screaming out loud. My moans were kept to a minimum but they were still there.

I couldn't take it. Every sensation felt so amazing. I pushed back on him, grinding against him. He liked to take control while we were actually doing it though so he was quick to stop me and fuck me so hard that I could barely move. Fuck, I love it. I love him.

"Kellin, I'm close. Touch yourself." He ordered me. I did as he told me and wrapped my hand around my throbbing dick. I jerked myself off, so that with the feel of him inside me had me collapse onto the desk in a fit of moans. I was so close. I was right there and he was there with me.

"Talk to me." I said, desperately needing to hear his voice.

"You're so beautiful, Kellin," He said instantly, making my heart swell, "A-and sexy. Are you getting closer? I just want you to feel good, that's all I want."

His voice was like music to my ears. He kept talking and that's all I was focusing on as I let the pleasure take over. I came hard, holding back the loud moan. I felt more than amazing. It was, to sound completely cliché, out of this world.

"Kellin." He gasped.

"Vic...I lo-" I stopped myself before saying it. I was going to tell him I loved him in the heat of the moment.

"What?" He asked.

"I love it when you say my name." I lied, although that wasn't a complete lie.

"Say mine again." He begged me, his voice desperate. I was done but I wanted him to feel as good as I just did.

"Vic...mm, Vic..." I moaned. His fingers dug into my hips before he grunted and stalled inside of me. I memorized the sound of his sigh of relief, then he collapsed onto my back, littering my back and shoulders with kisses. What had started as fast and hot ended up being so loving and sweet. His touches were no longer rough. Instead he held my hips like they were the most delicate object on the planet.

He pulled out and I was quick to spin around and connect my lips to his in a passion-fueled kiss. It was at that moment that I decided I needed to tell him my real feelings for him. He has to know, and I would do it tomorrow. I didn't want to ruin this moment if it went badly. Tomorrow. I'd do it tomorrow.

The next day I walked up to the school feeling kind of nervous, but I was always my confident self. I've never told someone I've loved them before, nor have I had someone say it to me. I felt kind of sick to my stomach. What if he doesn't love me? What if he just sees me as some kid? I know that I give off the impression that I'm just around for a little bit of fun, but deep down I'm so serious about this entire relationship.

I replaced my worried expression with a smile as Alex and Mike both walked up to me with amused expressions on their faces. We were outside the school building, actually, a lot of people were now that I looked around.

"Did you hear?" Alex asked with a goofy grin on his face.

"Hear what?" I asked. It was clear something was definitely going on. It looked like gossip central around here.

"Dude, the police are here. Apparently one of the teachers is getting arrested for having an affair with a student." Alex said. The blood drained from face in an instant as he uttered those words. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me.

"What?" I asked. Did I hear that right?

"You know, a scandalous student/teacher relationship. This is priceless. I wonder who it is." He said.

"You don't know? Does anyone?" I asked quickly. He shook his head.

"Nah. Apparently they called all the teachers in early to question them or something. I don't know. We'll see when they arrest them and bring 'em out." Alex said. He looked so amused by the situation but I was not amused in the slightest.

"Oh, Tay!" Alex called out and ran off, leaving me alone with Mike. I really couldn't breathe. They found out. How the fuck did they find out? I felt so stupid for being so careless about everything. I mean, come on, sex at school? Really? Vic and I had let our guard down and now this happens. We were caught.

"Kellin, are you okay?" Mike asked. I looked at him with wide eyes. No, I was not okay, I was terrified, and he saw that. He looked confused, then his expression changed to one of disbelief, then of realization.

"You didn't..." He said accusingly.

He knew. Everyone knew.

Chapter Text

"Kellin, answer me! Have you been sleeping around with my brother?" Mike asked in whispered shout, if that were even possible. He had put it together. How? I'm not sure, but he knew. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know whether I should be focusing on Mike or the fact that Vic could be getting arrested right now. I was beginning to learn I didn't do too well in high-pressured situations.

"What? No," I said defensively.

"Then why are you looking so freaked out, huh?" he asked. Fuck, I didn't know how to answer. Vic, more than me, didn't want Mike finding out anything. I'd be betraying him if I told.

"I'm not. I'm just not feeling well," I lied. I could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't buy a thing I was saying.

"I see the way you look at him. I see you flirting with him, but I always thought it was one sided. I didn't think he would stoop so low," he said harshly. I cringed at his words. He seemed really angry. I was still at a loss for words. I didn't want to admit to him that he was right, but I also couldn't lie anymore. I didn't have to do either though because gasps were heard all around us.

Looking around I saw a commotion near the front of the school. Everyone was huddled around trying to get a peek at what was happening. I hung back, too nervous to even move. I saw the flash of a police officer's uniform. What if they have Vic? What the hell will we do then? He could go to jail. Just like that, just in that moment, everything became so serious. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I cursed myself for not being cautious. Sex at school? What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. I was blinded by my lust and love for him. I got into the routine of sneaking around with him. I felt like we were untouchable, but we weren't.

The anxiety I had been feeling was short lived when I saw who the police were leading through the crowd. He wasn't cuffed, but he kept his head down low as the police pushed past the curious students. It was our French teacher, Mr. Franceschi. Holy shit! Could it be possible that there were two student/teacher relationships in the one school? Apparently so.

I watched on as they took him to the police car and made him get in the back. The second the doors were shut the students were chatting animatedly to each other. This would be the hottest topic for weeks. Everyone was asking each other who the student was, and I was curious myself.

"Alright everyone, you got your daily dose of drama for the day. Off to your first class," Principal Holland called out from the front steps. Going to class was a good enough excuse to get away from the suspicious Mike. I had to do some serious damage control, or at least let Vic know that Mike knows about us so he can smooth over the situation.

I ran up to the school, not waiting for Mike. Thankfully I didn't have my first class with him. I desperately wanted to go and see Vic, but if Mike had the same idea to see him then I wouldn't want to make it awkward by being there too, so I forced myself to class. Of course, this was me we were talking about. I got about half way through the lesson before my impatience got the better of me and I excused myself to use the bathroom. I headed straight to Vic's office though.

I was worried about how he'd act. If I freaked out then he'd surely freak out twice as much. Everything was okay though. No one knew about us, except Mike, but Mike wouldn't betray his brother by telling everyone, there was just no way. I took a deep breath and knocked on his office door. I waited there for a few moments. I had almost walked away, thinking he wasn't in there, but then he opened the door. He looked like he was expecting me to show up sooner or later. He turned back to the room.

"I'll just be a second," he said. There was someone in there. Looking past I saw Oli. Was it him who had a relationship with Franceschi? Vic pushed me back into the empty hall and closed the door.

"Was it him? The one sleeping around with Franceschi?" I asked.

"I can't tell you that, Kellin," he said, which meant yes. If Oli hadn't been with Franceschi then Vic would just say no. That wasn't breaking any confidentiality rules. I was right.

"Look, right now really isn't a good time," he said. I understood that. He was clearly busy. He seemed a bit flustered too.

"Yeah, I can see that. I just came to make sure you were okay. I mean I was pretty freaked out when I heard that a teacher got caught. I really thought it was you," I said.

"Yeah, um, we should talk later," he said. He was eager to get rid of me. I wasn't surprised either. He was shaken, just like I was.

"Okay I'll come see you at lunch," I said. He shook his head.

"No, Kellin. Seriously, we have to keep our distance," he said, almost robotically.

"Umm, okay, can I come over tonight?" I asked. He thought about before finally nodding his head.

"Yes, just go," he said.

"Alright, alright, I'm going," I said. I knew when I wasn't welcome. I went to turn and walk out the door, but then I stopped when I remembered something.

"Oh yeah...one more thing," I said, getting his attention again, "Mike...kind of, sort of knows about us."

His eyes went wide and his mouth agape.

"You told him?" he asked.

"No, of course not. But when I found out that a teacher was getting arrested I wasn't exactly calm about the situation. He put it together himself," I said. I really hoped he wasn't mad at me. I couldn't handle him being mad. He sighed as if he were simply exhausted.

"I'll deal with it. Just go to class," he muttered. He didn't wait for me to say anything, he just opened the door and went back inside. There was a lot of tension between us just then, mostly coming from him. I was calm now that I knew Vic wasn't in trouble. He was, understandably, very stand-offish. I tried not to think much of it. He'd calm down once it sets in that he's fine and not in trouble.

It's barely past 9am and I'm more stressed than I have been in a while. So much for telling him I'm in love with him. Maybe I'd wait for tonight or tomorrow.

—-

Later that night after getting the okay text from Vic, I headed over to his house. He told me I could use the front door, which meant Mike definitely knew about us. I wondered how that conversation might have gone. Mike was clearly angry at me this morning. I hope Vic managed to calm him down. Maybe he told Mike that we were serious about each other and Mike will decide to be happy for us. I could only hope that was the outcome. I really didn't need nor want Mike to be a complication in mine and Vic's relationship. As if there weren't enough complications. They're brothers. They love each other. I'm sure everything will be fine.

I knocked on their front door and thankfully Vic answered. The first thing I noticed was how nervous he seemed. He breathed deeply and stepped to the side. I gave an awkward smile and walked in. Something was definitely off with him. When I walked inside the first thing I noticed was the really loud metal music coming from Mike's room. I gave Vic a questioning look.

"He's being all rebellious because he's mad at me," he said.

"Oh...I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

"Not your fault. Come on," he said and walked past me down the hall. I followed him to his bedroom and once we were inside with the door locked I took a step closer because I wanted to hug him or kiss him, or anything really, but he took a step back. I studied his face and my heart dropped. He had such a sympathetic look in his eyes, and it was just that one look that let me know exactly what was about to happen. He didn't say I could come here tonight to spend time with him.

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" I asked, but I already knew the answer. It was confirmed when he sighed and nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. I had always wondered what being heartbroken would feel like, and now I know. You feel your stomach go empty and your chest just clench. You want to just sit in a corner and cry until everything's better. Your skin goes hot and tingly, but not the good kind, it was the bad kind because you're in so much disbelief over what just happened. It was a hopeless feeling. In that moment you ask yourself what you're going to do now. How are you going to go on without being with them? You just feel sick. You feel like nothing is okay at all and nothing will ever be okay. This was a feeling that I had never even close to felt before.

"It's just that...that was too close this morning, Kellin. That could have easily been us," he explained.

"But it wasn't," I pointed out.

The fight in me was there, but it wasn't as strong as I thought it would be. It was dwindling. So much trust was lost. I thought that he'd never hurt me and now he has. Even if I do convince him to take me back then I'd constantly be paranoid that he'd hurt me again. I'd never feel good enough. Aren't I good enough for him? I'm in love with him and he doesn't feel the same way. My gaze was focused on the floor. Maybe if I didn't look at him then this wouldn't be real. When I didn't speak, he continued.

"I have too much to risk. This was a huge wake up call. We've been living in this fantasy land where everything is okay, but it's not. I could lose my job. I could go to jail. I could get taken away from Mike and he'd be on his own. I need to be here to support him," he said. The excuses went in one ear and out the other. I just didn't want to listen. All I heard was that I wasn't worth it; that I was easily disposable.

"I don't want to lose you Kellin, but right now this is how it's gotta be. Maybe when you're finished with high school we c-"

"Don't," I interrupted him. I looked up at him in a glare, "Don't give me that bullshit. Don't give me hope because you'll just take it away again," I said. I was angry and upset. How could he do this to me?

"I'm really sorry, Kellin. You know I care about you, like a lot, but I'm just being realistic here," he said. I scoffed and shook my head.

"Maybe you should have been realistic from the start so I wouldn't have gotten hurt like this," I said.

"I was realistic from the start. I tried pushing you away. I tried being responsible. You were the one that started this, Kellin," he said forcefully. He was no longer sorry. He was no longer sympathetic. He just seemed annoyed. What he said hurt. He was saying all of this was my fault. I feared that from the beginning. I didn't want him to one day resent me and now he does. My anger was gone and replaced with hurt.

"I guess I brought this on myself then. That's...that's great," I said sadly.

I stormed out of his room and house before he had a chance to stop me. This was my fault. I let him in. I trusted him. This was so unlike me! I don't fall in love with people. I never had before Vic and maybe there was a reason why; because it hurts. They will hurt you. You put everything you have into the palm of their hands and they have the ability to crush you. You can't do anything about it. You just have to let it happen. You have to let your heart get broken. You have to somehow deal with it, but I couldn't deal with it. Instead I found myself sitting on the sidewalk half way down his street with my head in my hands, crying.

In that very moment it didn't feel like anything would ever be okay again. It was momentously dramatic, but that's how I felt. Nothing was okay. On top of that I was scared I was going to slip off the edge of sanity because of my disorder. What if this triggers something? What if the medicine doesn't stop me from calming down?

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed Tay's number. I held the phone to my ear and she answered with a 'hey, Kellin,"

"Tay," I stopped as a sob escaped from the back of my throat, "Can I come over?"

"What's wrong?" her worry-filled voice asked. She must have heard the crying. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it.

"Everything. Please, I don't want to be alone," I pleaded.

"Of course, you can come over. What happened? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'll explain when I get there," I told her. There was no point in keeping it a secret if it's over, right? 3

"Okay, it's all going to be okay, Kellin. I'm here for you," she said.

"Thank you, I'll see you soon," I said and hung up.

I would be okay, right? People say that break ups are tough at first but they get over it. I have the support of my friends. Maybe they'll be enough to get me through this. I just needed a distraction, so I got up and quickly made my way to Tay's.

Chapter Text

I told Tay everything about Vic and I. Afterwards I kind of regretted it. I had promised Vic that I wouldn't tell anyone, no matter what happened between us, but I was just so upset with him that the words came spilling out of my mouth. It felt good to finally talk to someone about it and I knew I could trust Tay. She wouldn't tell anyone.

She was hardly deterred by my confession. It was almost as if she expected this from me. I guess with all the shenanigans I've gotten up to over the past few years, she's immune to whatever I get up to next. She knew from the beginning I had a thing for Vic anyway. She was really supportive, just like any friend would be. She even skipped school with me on Friday. I couldn't go to school and face Vic. I felt like breaking down into tears every time I thought of him.

I didn't have an episode like I thought I would. I thought I might have slipped off the edge and had a major freak out, but I stayed relatively calm. The medication I took daily was working well. By Friday night I gave up on crying but I was still wallowing in self-pity. I stayed over Tay's house on Friday night too. I just wanted to be with a friend, not that I communicated with her much. I kind of just laid on her bed while she did whatever teenage girls do in their spare time. I wasn't paying that much attention. By Saturday night she was done with my constant moping around.

"Are you just going to lay there all weekend?" Tay asked.

"That's the plan," I muttered and rolled onto my stomach. I buried my head into the pillow and sighed. I just wanted Vic back.

"No, that's it. I've had enough. The best way for you to get over this little mood you're in is to get out and do something," she said in a peppy voice. I knew she meant well but I still groaned and rejected her.

"I just want to sleep," I said.

"Uh, no. Not an option," she said. The next second she latched onto my ankles and pulled me out of the bed. I landed on the ground with a thud and a groan. I rolled onto my back and looked up at her.

"Was that necessary?" I asked. She crossed her arms and gave me the 'mom' look.

"Yes, it was. You haven't showered in days. You're in the same clothes you were wearing on Thursday night. You're digging yourself into a hole of self-pity and I'm not gonna sit around and deal with it. Now get up, we're going to Alex's," she said in a demanding tone.

"Alex's? Why? I don't want to socialize," I said.

"Because, he told me he's busy like all day tomorrow and I've been too busy with you today to go and see him. I want to at least see him once this weekend and I'm a teenage girl who's not gonna walk the streets alone at night," she explained. I groaned and rolled around on the floor. I guess it's a bit unfair that I've been keeping her here all weekend, and I sure as hell didn't want to go home because my parents would guess something was up with me if they see me moping around, so I agreed.

"Ugh...fine. If I must," I said.

"Yes, you must, now come on," she urged me. I sighed and got off the ground, but my phone fell out of my pocket. Other than texting my parents my whereabouts on Thursday and Friday afternoon, I hadn't even looked at my phone. I picked it up and saw a couple of missed calls and texts from Vic.

"What is it?" Tay asked.

"Just...nothing, just some texts from my parents and people from school," I lied in a quiet voice. I wasn't the type of person to ignore texts. I was simply too curious, so I opened my messages. The first was from Friday night, or last night.

'I know I hurt you, but that was never my intention. I really do like and care about you... I just hope you understand my decision to end things. You weren't at school today. I really hope you're doing okay...'

The next one was from this morning; 'Please tell me you're okay. I'm worried.'

The final one was from a couple of hours ago; 'I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but please get back to me, or text Mike that you're okay or...something. Please.'

Fuck, why does he have to go and care? Or pretend to care. He probably didn't want it looming over his head that it'd be his fault if I did something stupid. Either that or he's worried I'd run off and tell the police about him and I. It was clear I was still really upset with him. It hurt to get messages like these. I didn't want to hear from him at all, so I replied so he'd shut up and not send another.

'I'm fine. With Tay. Stop contacting me.' I texted back.

"Are you okay?" Tay asked. I looked up at her.

"Yeah, I'm good. Let's go see what that boyfriend of yours is up to," I said and walked past her before she pushed the issue further.

We left her house after saying goodbye to her parents and headed to Alex's. He only lived about two streets away. The three of us were lucky enough to live in the same neighborhood, then again there weren't many neighborhood's in our town anyway.

"So, are you gonna tell Holland about Vic?" she asked.

"No, why would I?" I asked back.

"I don't know, to get back at him? Just seems like something you might do," she pointed out. Maybe it was something I'd do, but not to Vic. I shook my head in disagreement.

"Nah, I'm not a total asshole," I said.

"Aww, look at you, being a good person. How cute," she said in a condescending tone. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Shut up, Jardine," I said.

"Ooh, breaking out the last names. Someone's channeling my mother," she teased.

"I said shut up," I snapped. She threw her arms around me in a side hug and kissed my cheek.

"You know I love you," she said.

"Gross, thanks for the saliva," I said and wiped my cheek with the sleeve of my hoodie.

"Oh right, I forgot, you're contagious to the female species," she teased again. She can be such a pain sometimes, but she was still my best friend. I ignored her comment and we continued on to Alex's house, making small talk here and there. When we got there, she knocked on the front door and we waited, but no one came to us.

"Oh well, looks like no one is home. Guess we should leave," I said because really I just wasn't in the mood to socialize with anyone, and more than anything the last thing I wanted to do was watch them be a cute, adorable couple in front of me.

"Can't you hear the music?" she asked like I was stupid. Yes, I could hear the music coming from inside the house, but I chose to ignore it.

"Music? What music? You're delusional," I lied. She rolled her eyes at me and bent down to the plants near the front door. There was a house key under one of them, so we unlocked the door and let ourselves in. The music was coming up stairs and it was the pop punk style Alex loved so much, so he must be home. I can't imagine his parents listening to this kind of music.

"Come on," she said and jogged up the stairs. I followed after her with less enthusiasm. We got to the top of the stairs and she was just in front of me as she knocked on Alex's bedroom door and opened it a second later.

"Alex, we-" she stopped and I saw her go pale as her jaw dropped. What was it? I rushed over and looked into Alex's room. There on the bed was Alex scrambling to cover himself with the sheets, but not only that, there was someone else naked in bed with him. It was a student from our school; Jack Barakat.

"Tay...I-I'm so sorry," Alex sputtered out. I was suddenly so fucking angry. I knew what it felt like to get heartbroken, but it must be a million times worse for Tay. She's been with Alex for so long and she walks in on him fucking another dude? The pain of that would be unimaginable.

"You're damn fucking right you're sorry!" I roared at him. He ignored me and quickly dressed himself. Jack was still lying there, with a sheet thankfully covering him, looking like he didn't know what to do.

"Tay, please just let me explain this. I'm so so sorry," Alex said, coming closer, wearing only his boxers. I stood between him and the stunned Tay. She hadn't moved or said anything.

"You stay the fuck away from her!" I demanded, glaring at him.

"Get out of my way, Quinn! This is your fault! This wouldn't have happened if you would have helped me like I wanted you to!" he shouted back. Is he seriously blaming this on me?

"I wasn't going to help you cheat on her!" I argued. The tension and animosity in the room was rising quickly.

"You knew?!" Tay finally spoke. I spun around to look at her. She was looking at me with tears in her eyes.

"I didn't know about this," I said and gestured to the other two.

"This is fucked," she cried in a squeaky voice and pushed past me. I wasn't going to waste any more time on Alex, because although he was my friend, and always would be my friend, right now he's a lowlife piece of trash. I ran after Tay instead.

I chased her out of the house. Luckily she was just walking really quickly, so I caught up to her easily. I ran in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"Wait, wait, Tay, I'm so sorry. Okay, I admit, I knew he was confused and he kissed me just once," I said and she looked horrified at that admission so I quickly went on, "I told him to stop though. He told me that everything was fine and he wouldn't do this anymore. Tay, I never thought he would have done something like this,"

"You're a liar!" she screamed and pushed me away, "Alex is right, this is your fault! He's been hanging around you for too long. You put this fucking gay bullshit into his head. Just stay away from me, Kellin!"

She stormed past me and I was smart enough to know that chasing after an angry Tay was a stupid thing to do. I was left there, completely shocked at what just happened. I couldn't believe that Alex would cheat on Tay like this. I thought he was in love with her. No, I knew he was. He's told me before. How could he do this to her? Maybe I should have told Tay when it actually happened. She has every reason to be mad at me. Maybe I'm a little biased to myself but I think accusing me of being the reason Alex cheated was a bit over the top.

Maybe I'm just a screw up, I mean I must be, right? In just a couple of days I managed to make Tay, Alex and even Mike mad at me. I lost a boyfriend too. Only I could fuck up on such a huge scale in a short amount of time. There was only one thing I could do now; go home and hope I can sort things out with Tay, Alex and Mike on Monday morning.

Chapter Text

There were a lot of emotions running through me when I walked onto the school grounds on Monday morning. First and foremost I was nervous about seeing Vic. I had Biology today which meant I'd have to see him. I could have just skipped class, I wasn't exactly opposed to that, but I knew I'd have to see him sooner or later, so I would force myself to go.

I was also worried about seeing Mike, Tay and Alex. All three were mad at me and that made me feel uneasy. I needed my friends, like really, really needed them, especially now. Tay, Alex and I had been best friends for the longest time. I don't know what I'd do if I weren't friends anymore. I couldn't imagine it. Mike on the other hand, well I wanted to make things okay with him too. I was hopeful that I could get through to them. They were mad, but they must have calmed down by now, right?

I guess now would be the time I found out. I saw Tay first standing outside the building with her friend, Hayley. I was surprised that she was actually here. I wouldn't have been able to face school if I were her. I wonder if she's doing okay. I sure hope so. I walked towards her and when she saw me, she didn't look happy at all.

"Hey, Tay," I greeted her as cautiously as I could.

"What do you want?" she asked with a sigh. I looked at her friend Hayley, silently telling her to leave, and she did.

"Um, just want to see if you're okay," I said. She scoffed and shook her head.

"You don't get to ask that anymore," she said and walked around me. Of course, I followed her.

"What? We're friends, Tay. I care about how you are," I said. She spun back around and glared at me.

"No, Kellin, we are not friends anymore. I can't trust you and right now I don't even want to look at you, so please just leave me alone," she said, and I could tell by the way she talked that that was final. My heart dropped when I watched her walk away.

She actually really hates me. She was, above all, my best friend, and now she doesn't want anything to do with me. That hurt a lot. I honestly couldn't imagine school life without her. Although I didn't really talk about my feelings all that much to her, she was still just there, no matter what, and now she isn't. Neither is Vic. I felt like I needed someone, so my next mission was to talk to Alex.

I saw him by his locker, standing with Mike. Neither of them looked like their happy, care-free selves. Alex looked down-right depressed, although I don't know why. It wasn't like it was his heart that was broken. I was still pissed at him, but I wanted to make amends. I went up to them. Mike saw me first and alerted Alex of my arrival. Alex went to walk away but I stood in front of him.

"Can we not do this whole cold shoulder thing?" I asked him. He clenched his jaw and looked at me like, well, like he hated me.

"Stay away from me," he said. It was a simple, blunt phrase, but it was enough to get his message across. He knocked his shoulder against mine as he walked past me. Two friends down, one left. I turned to Mike.

"Hey," I said, although my voice was drained of all hope. Judging by the look on his face, he didn't want anything to do with me either.

"You can stay away from me too. What you had been doing with Vic was stupid and selfish. You could have fucked up so much of his life, so just stay away from me, and him too for that matter," he demanded.

I didn't even say anything. What could I say? Should I beg for his, Tay's and Alex's friendship? I clearly don't have any of them anymore. It was so easy for them to just dispose of me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I wanted to just scream at them all and tell them to go fuck themselves, but I felt myself calm down instantly. This was a little setback of the medication I took. It levels out my emotions, which in theory is good, but sometimes I want to feel things instead of feeling kind of numb to it.

I sighed and lean against the nearest locker, banging the back of my head on it in frustration. The bell rang, but I didn't make a move just yet. My first class was biology and I wasn't eager to get there. Before I made the decision to get on with it, I felt an arm sling around my shoulder.

"Well that looked positively dramatic," Oli said.

I groaned in annoyance. Can't I just catch a break? Speaking of him, I heard that he was the one who ousted Mr. Franceschi and himself because Franceschi wanted to end things and Oli wanted revenge because of it. That was the distinction between Oli and I. I would never do that to Vic, no matter how much he hurt me or how mad I was.

"It was nothing," I said dismissively and shrugged his arm off of me. I walked off towards my biology class, but he fell into step next to me.

"Nothing? Looks to me like you're on the outs with your friends," he said smugly.

"We're fine, thanks for the concern," I said sarcastically. God he was such a pest.

"They're losers anyway, Kellin. You get so boring when you hang out with them too much. You know who's fun though?" he asked.

"I don't care," I said bluntly.

"The correct answer is my group. There's still plenty of room for you in our little circle. We'd love to have you back," he said. I ignored whatever he was saying to me. I simply didn't care.

"Go away, Oli," I said and picked up my pace. Oli wasn't the type of person to really chase after someone, so he let me continue on my way to Biology by myself.

It was going to be an especially awkward class because for one, Vic will be there teaching. Secondly, Alex, Tay and Mike will be there, and to top it off, so will Jack Barakat. The only other thing that would make this a cocktail of disaster would be if Oli was in the class too. Thankfully he was not. I was really nervous walking to class. The closer I got the worse it would get. By the time I got to the entrance of the class room, I just kind of froze.

Vic was at his desk, preparing for the lesson. He looked up at me, but he's gotten so good at hiding his emotions when we're in public so I couldn't tell what he was thinking. The only think I did notice though was that he seemed relieved. I tore my gaze away from him before I burst into tears, and walked into the room.

I looked to the back row where I usually sat with Mike, Tay and Alex. Sitting there was Alex and Mike. They both looked up and glared at me. I wasn't welcome there, that much was obvious. There were another two people sitting where Tay and I usually would; it was Jaime and Tony. They usually sat in front of us. Mike and Alex must have asked them to sit there and that hurt more than anything. They were that eager to be away from me that they made it so it was impossible to sit with them.

Tay was sitting with Hayley across the other side of the classroom. She didn't look up at me. She made no signs of acknowledging my existence. I felt so dejected. I was miserable and rejected. All the people most important to me hated me. They didn't want anything to do with me. It was embarrassing having no friends to sit with. Sure, I was friendly with everyone, but they all had their little groups and I wasn't a part of any of them. So, I sat by myself at an empty row of desks at the front of the room. I got my books out of my bag and set them in front of me.

"Okay, quiet," Vic said to the class and everyone hushed, "We're moving onto the next module, so open your text books to page 64 and I want you to read the two introduction pages so you can get a bit of an idea of what you'll be learning for the next few weeks. That's silent reading too, no need for chit chat,"

I couldn't stand hearing his voice. I couldn't handle sitting here knowing that my three best friends were sitting back there probably thinking about how much they hate me. It was a sickening feeling. I tried to hold back the tears, I really did, but there are some things that are impossible to control. There was just no stopping them. I kept my head down, and thankfully I could be a silent crier when I wanted to be. No one would even notice unless they were looking at me straight on, and the only person who could do that was Vic at the front of the classroom. I didn't care if he saw me though.

I opened my text book and tried focusing on whatever we were learning. It was difficult though when there were much bigger things on my mind. Things got worse though when Vic appeared at the front of my desk. I kept my head down, but he lowered himself so he could see my face.

"Are you okay?" he whispered so only I could hear. I hated that question so much because it makes things worse. It just makes me realize that I'm really not.

"Why aren't you sitting with your friends?" he asked when I didn't answer.

Doesn't he know that he's not allowed to do this? He can't break up with me and still want to talk to me. How am I supposed to get over him if he doesn't leave me alone? This isn't fair. I couldn't even tell him to go away because I knew my voice would be fucked up from crying. I didn't want to be here anymore. I tried to get through this class but I couldn't even last five minutes. I snapped my text book shut and picked it, along with my bag, up and left the classroom. I didn't bother to look back and see if anyone cared because they didn't. I hated this so much. I hated being upset. I liked being carefree and not giving a fuck about anything but right now I couldn't get into that frame of mind.

I felt a lot better when I was out of that classroom though. Sure, I still had a few classes with Alex, Tay and Mike, but never all three at once, so I think I could handle it...maybe. My mood was just decreasing with every lonesome second that went by. I hung out in the halls, dodging teachers for the rest of biology, then moved along to my other classes for the rest of the day that weren't that bad.

It was lunch time when things got bad again. Usually I'd meet up with Tay, Alex and Mike and we'd go to lunch together, but now I realize I'd be alone for that too. I'm really not the type of person who likes being alone. I sighed and walked down the hallway to my locker. It was time to take my medication, but when I took the bottle of pills out of my locker I asked myself what was the point? Who was I trying to stay normal for? I took them to make Vic happy. I took them so I wouldn't lash out at my friends, so if I'm not even around any of them anymore, why take them?

I just didn't want to anymore. I couldn't find the energy to keep up with this "mental health" bullshit. I simply gave up on it. With my rebellious side pushing through, I took the pills to the bathroom, washed them down the sink and threw the bottle in the trash. I didn't need to take those stupid fucking pills anymore. I just wanted to be myself and feel whatever emotions wanted to come my way. I didn't want to be controlled anymore. I hated how much I had changed because of the pills. They made me weak.

I left the bathroom and headed towards the cafeteria because I was starving. I got some food and when I turned to all the tables I realized it was a mistake. What was I going to do? Sit alone? Mike and Alex were sitting together, but it was clear I wasn't part of that group anymore. Tay was with her girl friends. I wasn't welcome there either. Vic was with the other teachers. His eyes locked with mine, then he looked around for my friends, before looking back at me. He gave a look of sympathy before going back to talk to Coach McKinnon.

Fuck this. Fuck them all. I wasn't wanted because I was such a fucking horrible person, but there was one person who would have me. One person who I didn't have to worry about being a perfect angel around. He didn't care how much I fucked up. He accepted me no matter what and that's all I needed right now, so I headed over to Oli's group.

I felt so pathetic going crawling back to him, but we had a sort of understanding. It was that we could hate each other as much as we wanted, but in the end we were the same total screw ups that nobody wanted. I would fit right in with his group. When I got there, he looked up at me. A smug smile crossed his face before he moved over to allow enough room for me.

"Good to have you back," he said as I sat down.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go," I said quietly so his friends wouldn't hear.

"What happened anyway?" he asked. I looked over at Vic's table. He was looking at me again, like he was in disbelief that I was sitting with Oli. What did he expect? No one else wanted me. 1

"They don't like me. Doesn't matter," I said.

"Oh...welldon't worry, lil Kellin, you know I'll always like you," he said and kissed my cheek. My gaze fell from Vic's as I moved my face away from Oli's. He held my hand though and I just accepted it. It's not like I had anyone else, right?

Chapter Text

I felt a sense of nostalgia today. I felt how I felt before everything happened, back before summer break when I didn't know about any mental disorder, back before I met Vic, back when I spent a lot of my time with Oli doing what I'm doing now. We were out the back of the school and my head was rested on his lap and his fingers were playfully running through my hair. It was cute and sweet, sure, but I could only get Oli like this when he's high, and right now we were both as high as a kite. So were Oli's friends, Matt and Jordan.

This high made me feel numb, but good. It was what I needed to lift my depressed spirits. I just wanted to feel okay, just for a little while. I had even convinced myself I was having fun. Honestly, fuck the rest. If people make me feel this way then I should get rid of them from my life. Oli doesn't make me feel sad. Oli makes me feel wanted. His friends accept me no matter how much I screw up.

"So, Kellin, are you ever gonna tell us who made you so down in the dumps? Because you know we aren't exactly opposed to teaching them a lesson," Oli said. I chuckled and reached up to touch his face because it looked so smooth and touchable. He grabbed my hand though and laced our fingers together.

"No, it doesn't matter," I answered him.

"Are you sure?" he asked. To get him to stop asking, I sat up and pressed my lips against his. Oli, who was always instantly receptive to any kind of "action" he got, kissed back.

"Ugh, get a room," Jordan said in mock disgust. I think Jordan and Matt are already sick of me being around. It's only been a few days since I started hanging out with them again and they always complain that Oli and I are all over each other too much. In reality though all we do is kiss. He's a distraction. I don't actually want to do anything further than kissing, or maybe I would eventually. I pulled out of the kiss and Oli kissed my cheek before whispering in my ear.

"You and I should get out of here...go back to my place..." He said suggestively and kissed under my ear. He could be so seductive sometimes, so it was hard to say no, but I had other plans.

"I can't. I need to get to biology," I said and pulled away from him again.

"I thought you had biology now. Class is half over," he pointed out. All very true.

"Mhm, but I'm in the mood to cause trouble," I said. He smiled at me.

"You're cute when you're being rebellious," he said. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me back in for a kiss. I never felt anything when it came to his kisses, but it was nice. After that I got up and said goodbye to the three of them before going back in the school building.

Oli has been great these past few days. We weren't dating, that was for sure, but he really knew how to cheer me up since my other friends wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't even bother trying to talk to the others again; mainly because every time I'd see them in the halls they'd purposely avoid me. It sucked, but I converted my sadness into anger. Those three were now my enemies. They left me alone when I needed them the most and I was less than impressed.

There was something else that had been bothering me a lot. I've been observing Alex and Tay over the past few days whenever I see them. As far as I know, they haven't spoken to each other. They merely avoid each other's existence. Alex is too much of a coward to confront Tay and tell her exactly what's going on in his head, and Tay doesn't have the guts to talk to Alex either, so I thought I might do a little something about that. Yes, my intentions were to cause chaos. You don't just throw away my friendship and get away with it.

I walked into biology half way through the lesson with an innocent smile on my face. Everyone was where they had been on Monday. Alex and Mike were down the back with Tony and Jaime replacing mine and Tay's spots. Tay was over the other side of the class with Hayley, and in front of her was Jack Barakat. Perfect. That means she'll get a front row seat to my little show.

"Kellin, you're late. Really late. Take a seat and come talk to me after class," Vic said. I looked at him and smiled sweetly. God, it would be so easy to destroy his entire life right now, but the thing was, I'm still in love with him. I still never want to cause him pain. I still want him happy.

"Oh, I have no intention of staying, Mr. Fuentes," I said. He looked to the class and back to me. His eyes narrowed as he examined me, clearly noting that I wasn't exactly sober right now. I smiled cheekily and walked towards the class. I went around to where Jack was and lightly trailed my fingers along the width of his shoulders.

"Kellin, you're disrupting the class," Vic said.

"What are you gonna do, give me one of your special detentions?" I asked and winked at him. That shut him up right away. To him I was like a time bomb who could easily be set off and tell everyone the truth, so of course he kept his mouth shut. I turned my attention back to Jack. I bent down and whispered in his ear.

"You mind standing up, cutie?" I questioned, "It's just for a little experiment."

He frowned, but his curiosity must have gotten the best of him because he stood up and faced me. I glanced back at Alex, smiling wickedly, before turning back to Jack and surprising him with a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep him in place. He didn't move at all. He just seemed shocked. Not even five seconds later and I was being roughly grabbed by the collar of my shirt and slammed against the nearby wall. My eyes were met with Alex's glaring ones.

"Let go of him, now!" Vic shouted in his teacher voice. Alex made no sign of letting go.

"What's wrong, Alex? Why are you getting so upset over me kissing Jack?" I asked.

"Because!" he shouted.

"Because why? Could it be...hmm...jealousy? Protectiveness? Now, why would you get jealous?" I taunted. He was at a loss for words. He had nothing to say here. It was obvious to everyone now that there was something going on with Alex and Jack, and now it was clear to Tay that it was more than experimenting. It was more than sex. I glanced at Tay and gave a fake, apologetic look.

"Aww, sorry sweetheart," I said sarcastically. She looked completely devastated and I should have been sorry for what I did, but I simply wasn't. I turned my attention back to Alex.

"Now you have a legitimate reason to hate me," I said.

"Okay, that's enough," Vic said. He had finally gotten to us.

"Alex, back to your seat," he said and physically tore us apart, "You, out, now,"

He grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the door. He called back to the class to tell them to read some bullshit while he spoke to me. I let him take me out of class and across the hall to the boy's bathrooms. Once we were in he let go of me and quickly checked to make sure the place was empty, which it was. He turned back to me and glared.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he scolded. I smiled and shrugged.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything's fucking fine and dandy," I spat out sarcastically. Part of me just wanted to get out of there, but a bigger part craved talking to Vic, even if it was an argument.

"I don't know what's going on with you and your friends, but whatever it is you just made it so much worse," he said.

"I don't care, Vic! I simply do not give a fuck anymore. They obviously don't give a shit about me so...I just give up," I said truthfully.

"Why are you acting like this? This isn't you, Kellin," he said.

"This is me. This was me before you came along. This is me when everyone in my life abandons me. I have nothing left to lose, so why not give myself a bit of entertainment?" I asked bitterly. He just looked at me, shaking his head like he was disappointed.

"So, what, you get high instead of coming to class now?" he asked.

"It's better than learning about whatever bullshit you teach," I said.

"I bet this was Oli's influence, right?" he asked, ignoring my previous statement.

"So what if it was?" I questioned.

"So you're back with him then? Really?" His tone was so judgemental. That was rich coming from someone who fucked a student.

"You act like he's such a bad person but right now he's the only one wants anything to do with me," I said.

"And why is that? You must have done something for your friends to not want to talk to you," he said.

"Yeah. Be myself. That's why they hate me, because I be my usual fucking faggoty self and so they think Alex caught the gay off of me or something and I-" I stopped talking because I realized what he was doing. He was in therapist mode, trying to get me to talk about my feelings. It worked. Tears had already welled up in my eyes while we talked about this. Emotions were running on high inside me right now and I didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm not talking about my life with you," I said.

"I'm still your guidance couns-"

"And I can still walk right into Holland's office and tell him all about us," I snapped. It was just a tactic to shut him up. There was no way I would out Vic.

"You promised you wouldn't," he said in a soft voice.

"Yeah well, that was before," I said. Why wasn't I shutting up?

"Mike's right...you are selfish," he said.

"I'm selfish?" I snapped. Anger was once again rising in me and I was having trouble controlling it, "You're the one that broke up with me to keep your precious job."

"That wasn't being selfish. I did that for Mike. Right now, he's the most important thing to me," he said, but that just made me even more upset.

"I wish I could understand the kind of bond the two of you have, but I can't. I've never been the most important person to anyone, ever. I don't know what it's like. You were the most important person to me and I would have done anything for you, but you threw me away like I don't even matter," I cried, and I mean literally cried. I didn't even try to stop the tears. I felt like I had to let them out.

"You do matter," he said and took a step towards me. I stepped back.

"Don't lie," I whimpered, "I don't matter to you, or Tay, or Alex, or Mike. My parents have gone back to focusing on Rachel instead of me. This week I've been isolated from everyone and no one even misses me. I doubt anyone would even miss me if I were just gone forever."

"Kellin, please don't talk like that," he said, and once again tried to reach out to me. I stepped back and shook my head. I didn't want his fake sympathy. I turned and left the bathroom.

"Wait, where are you going?" he called out after me.

"Back to Oli. He might only want sex out of me but at least he'll pretend to care about me before he gets it," I said without looking at him. I kept going, heading towards the stairs to get to the bottom floor. I didn't like feeling like this. I wasn't stupid, I knew I just made things with Alex and Tay so much worse, but I didn't feel like their reasoning for hating me was a good reason, so I had to give them one so at least I know that them abandoning me isn't futile.

That conversation with Vic messed me up. He always knows how to make me bring out my emotions. He can dig so deep in such a little amount of time. I was still crying. My emotions were all over the place. I just wanted someone, and so I found him; Oli. I went outside and he was still sitting there with Jordan and Matt. He looked up at me, smiling, but the smile turned into a frown quickly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, getting up. I didn't want to be vulnerable around Jordan and Matt, so Oli took my hand and led me around to the side of the building.

"Everything's wrong," I said. He looked at me questioningly, so I went on, "All my friends hate me and I'm just...a fucking screw up,"

"Hey, it's okay. All of your friends don't hate you," he said.

"Yes they do."

"I'm your friend, aren't I?" he asked. I nodded slowly. "Right, and I don't hate you. So, all your friends don't hate you."

That statement meant more to me right now than anything. He opened his arms and I walked straight into them. I rested my head against his shoulder and he just held me, which was exactly what I needed.

Chapter Text

Oli pinned my arms to the bed and looked down at me with a wicked smile. His eyes flicked down to my lips and his smile widened. Kiss me? Not kiss me? I didn't care. I could barely feel any of it. He did kiss me though, and I admit it was fun. It was nice knowing I was doing something, anything. At least I'm not one of those people that sit at home eating ice cream out of the tub and making depressing Facebook statuses after a break up. Instead I was with my, possibly unhealthy, distraction.

He let go of one of my wrists and slowly trailed his hand down my body. Being touched by him was okay, but it wasn't that fabulous. We lacked that spark, or maybe it was just me as a person being incapable of feeling anything good. He started to undo my jeans and still I felt nothing at all. I wasn't excited. I wasn't nervous. I wasn't anything.

We were suddenly interrupted by a knock on Oli's bedroom door. He pulled back, sighing dramatically. I felt the first emotion all afternoon; relief. I was glad he pulled back. Maybe I didn't want this. We spent most of night just making out, but it hadn't gone any further until just now. I was thankful for the interruption.

"This better be important," Oli called out. The door opened to reveal Matt and Jordan who weren't at all fazed by the position we were in.

"What is it?" he asked them in annoyance.

"Uh, did you forget our plans for tonight?" Matt asked. I looked at Oli as realization crossed his face. He groaned and buried his face in my neck.

"Yes I forgot," his voice was muffled, barely coherent, but they understood.

"Well are you coming or not?" Jordan asked. Oli pushed back up and looked at them.

"Not. Can't you see I'm a little busy?" Oli asked. The two other boys rolled their eyes. I kind of really wanted to get out of this situation and this looked like a good enough escape route.

"Wait, go where?" I asked them.

"We were going to go into the city and hit a few clubs," Matt said. I looked back at the frustrated Oli.

"We should go," I suggested. He looked to me, frowning.

"But I'm not done with you yet," he said, earning disgusted grunts from Matt and Jordan. I ignored them.

"There's plenty of time for that. I want to go out and have fun," I said. He looked like he didn't like the idea at all. Then again his erection was pushed firmly against my thigh so he had other things on his mind. He gave in though.

"Alright fine, do you still have your fake ID?" he asked. I nodded, smiling.

"Sure do,"

"Good," he said and turned his attention back to Matt and Jordan, "You two, out. We'll meet you downstairs," Matt and Jordan obeyed their master Oli and left the room. Oli looked down at me and pecked the tip of my nose.

"I get you all to myself afterwards, okay?" he asked.

I merely nodded. I knew that by the time we get back here, Oli would be too wasted to think about having sex with me. I probably couldn't hold off for much longer though. Oli was a very physical person so he's always going to try and get with me. Maybe I'd give in, maybe I wouldn't. Who knows? For today though I wasn't up for it. Instead the two of us got ready to go out with his friends. We swung by my house first so I could get my ID and change into some better clothes, then we were off in Jordan's car.

—-

I had been to quite a few clubs around town before and it was the same at every one; loud music, sweaty bodies, and drunk people pushed up against each other. Oli and I had a bit of a system to get free drinks. We'd pinpoint a gay guy, flirt with them for a while, then they'd buy us drinks so we didn't have to waste our own money. We went to a couple of gay bars too, even though Matt and Jordan weren't gay, but they enjoyed the male attention.

I had downed a lot of shots after hitting five different clubs. I knew I was drunk but Oli kept me moving, dancing with him, so I barely noticed the affects. I was simply having fun for the first time in a while, and I mean a lot of fun. I couldn't stop laughing and smiling. Oli held me close to him, his forehead against mine. He smiled and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He's so much fun. Hanging out with Oli was definitely a good idea.

"Next one?" I heard a shouting voice. Oli and I pulled back and saw Jordan and Matt. Oli nodded, grabbed my hand and led me through the body of people. We usually didn't stay at one club for too long out of fear that the club owners would realize we're underage.

"Which club next?" Jordan asked when we were out of the club. The sidewalk was much quieter than inside. This is the club district though so music was still coming from every direction.

"Let's go to Diamond. Lee might be working and we can get free drinks," Oli suggested. So off we went in the direction of a gay club called Diamond. Now that we were in a quieter environment I could focus on just how wasted I was. Oli kept me walking in a straight direction, but if he let go of my hand I'd probably be all over the place.

"You alright?" Oli asked as we walked along.

"Uh huh," I mumbled.

"Good," he said and lean towards my ear to whisper, "Because remember I still want you tonight."

"I remember," I said with a smile and a blush. Unlike before, I wasn't opposed to it. I had loosened up a lot. I was feeling things, good things. I was happy. I felt like I was on a high. I was having a lot of fun, but suddenly, in a blink of an eye I felt so low when I looked forward and saw someone walking towards us. Reality was like a slap in the face. I saw Vic. He was walking with a few people, including his friend, Jason, the one who held a college party a while ago that I crashed. I felt a little shocked when I saw him. It was just a reminder that I still had so many problems that I couldn't fix no matter how much I drank.

"Why have you stopped?" Oli asked. I didn't even realize I had. I looked at him, Jordan and Matt who were giving impatient looks. I nodded towards Vic, who by this point had seen us. The three boys looked at him but didn't seem to care that a teacher had discovered us drunk in the club district.

"You four, you shouldn't be out here," Vic said in an authoritative voice. In my drunken state I had to lean against Oli who just put his arm around my waist securely. My gaze was still focused on Vic so I saw him glance down at Oli's arm and hurt flashed across his face before he looked up at everyone again.

"Sorry, Mr. Fuentes, but outside of school hours you have no control over us," Oli said cockily and pulled me away. Matt and Jordan laughed as we went past them, and Vic couldn't do a damn thing about it. I glanced back at him. He was looking at me desperately. He seemed so disappointed and that made me feel horrible. I turned back to Oli.

"I need more to drink," I said.

Oli, always the one to want to get me drunk, led me into the bar where his friend, Lee, was working and ordered a few rounds of shots. I swallowed them quickly, one after the other. They were hitting me hard, but I didn't care. I just wanted to forget everything. I went from being so ecstatically happy, to wanting to burst into tears at the bar. I didn't cry though, I just drank more. I held my sixth shot to my lips, but before I could drink it, my arm was pulled down. I turned my head to see Vic.

"I think you've had enough," he said.

"Stop stalking me," I said through gritted teeth. Why the hell does he have to show up everywhere? I knew he was just hanging out with his friends, but why did fate have to make us cross paths? I looked around for Oli. He was over the other end of the bar talking to Lee. Jordan and Matt were off dancing somewhere.

"Let me take you home. You can sleep this off, please," Vic shouted over the music. I rolled my eyes and slipped off the stool I was sitting on.

"Stay away from me," I said, but it was more like a threat. I stumbled my way over to Oli and clung to his arm for support.

"Uh oh, someone's just a little wasted," he teased. Sometimes, he just needs to shut up, so I made him by kissing him. It was a drunken, sloppy kiss. I knew he was drunk too but he's much better at holding his alcohol than I am. He pulled away and handed me a shot. I took it and drank it, before he led me onto the dance floor.

Oli held me from behind and grinded against me. I rested the back of my head against his shoulder. My vision was all over the place. I felt dizzy and light-headed. I could barely focus on anything. Through the crowd of people I noticed Vic was watching me. I didn't need a fucking babysitter. Why can I never escape him? We were broken up and I just wanted to forget about him but I can't if he's always around. Fuck, the alcohol was supposed to make me forget, and for a while it had made me feel better, but now I think it was making me worse. I needed some quiet. I turned to Oli and brought my lips to his ear.

"I need to use the bathroom," I said loudly. I pulled back to look at his face. He nodded in understanding, so I walked off.

I staggered through the bumping and grinding people and finally got to the bathroom. That took a lot more effort than necessary. I walked in and headed to a cubicle so I could be by myself. I lean against the wall and breathed deeply. I felt like absolute shit. I just wanted to isolate myself. I wanted to go home, not with Oli and not with Vic, I just wanted to leave by myself but I couldn't.

"Kellin?" Oli's voice came from outside the cubicle. I unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"You okay?" he asked. I smiled and nodded, but I wished I hadn't nodded. That hurt my head a lot.

"Good, good," he said and came into the stall. He shut and locked the door behind him, "I've wanted to get you alone for a little while now,"

He put his hands on my waist and moved closer. I wasn't in the mood for this, but I still let him kiss me. His lips were hungrily attacking mine. I was in a state of numbness, not knowing what to do. Was I going to go through with this just to make him happy, or not? Not. Definitely not. I didn't want this. I put my hands to his chest and pushed him back lightly.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't want to do this," I said. My own voice surprised me. I sounded so depressed. Oli either didn't notice or care because he didn't stop.

"Sure you do, don't worry about where we are. We won't get caught," he said playfully. He groped me and started undoing my jeans, but I hit his hands away.

"No, I don't want to do this," I said firmly. He sighed and dropped his hands.

"Then let's go home and do it," he suggested, but I shook my head.

"I don't want to at all," I told him truthfully. I felt bad, really, I did. I had been leading him on all week just because I needed a distraction. It was a horrible thing for me to do when I knew nothing more would ever come out of this relationship. Oli looked pissed off, and I thought he had every right to be.

"You're a prude and a tease, you know that, right?" he said bitterly, "Why am I even wasting my time on you?"

He stormed out of the cubicle, slamming the door shut and making me jump in surprise. I should have told him that no one should ever waste their time on me because I'm fucking useless. I sighed and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. I just needed a few minutes to chill out before facing the angry Oli again. I felt really sick, like I wanted to throw up, but I didn't.

After a little while I got up and left the bathroom. I went back into the main area of the club. The music drowned out my own thoughts and I just focused on finding Oli, but as I scanned the crowd I couldn't see him. I couldn't find Matt or Jordan either. Had they left me here? I was starting to feel a bit panicked now. I headed towards the exit and walked onto the significantly quieter street. I looked around and then I saw the three of them. They were across the street, walking further down it. They had left me.

My head spun and suddenly I didn't feel like I could keep myself standing anymore. I backed up until my back was pressed against the building, then I slid down to the ground and sat there on the sidewalk. I felt like I was floating, but at the same time so heavy. Maybe I could just rest here for a while. I wanted to lay down. My head felt like it weighed a ton. I drooped to the side on the concrete, laying down as people walked past me but none of them stopped. Why would they? I was just another screw-up that no one gave a damn about.

What was I supposed to do now? I had no way home. I had no money for a cab or the train. My way home had abandoned me. I was stranded here. Would I have to sleep here all night? I soon found out the answer was no. I felt a strong grasp around my arm and then I was being lifted from the ground. Once I was up I saw it was Vic.

"Come on, let me get you home," he said. I just wanted to burst into tears. I was so utterly pathetic I can't even look after myself. I was always relying on other people, but I don't even have other people. Vic is a good person. He probably just feels obligated to do this. He put his arm around me and I managed to walk with him. I didn't want his help but I needed it.

"I don't have my car so we're going to take a train back, okay?" Vic asked. I didn't answer. I just focused on walking.

"What were you even doing with those guys? You know they're bad news," he said.

"I don't need a lecture from you," My words slurred together.

"Yeah well you're gonna get one when you're sober," he said. Of course he's going to lecture me. He's so judgemental.

We came up to the train station and went inside. Vic got us tickets then we went down to the platform. There weren't any down here at this time of night. It was eerily silent and kind of spooky. Vic set me down on one of the benches.

"I'm just going to call Mike to get him to pick us up from the station close to home," he said and let go of me.

"Whatever," I mumbled.

I'm pathetic. I kept repeating that over and over in my head. I couldn't stop it no matter how much I wanted to stop it. Look at me; I'm sitting at a train station in the middle of the night, drunk out of my mind. My ex-boyfriend is taking care of me because I'm too fucking useless to do it myself. I couldn't believe how screwed up my life had gotten so quickly. I lost my boyfriend. I lost my three best friends, and now I had even lost Oli. He was the one person that stuck by me no matter how much I messed up, but now he didn't even want me.

I just realized I was sobbing. Tears were cascading down my cheeks and there was no way of stopping them. I'm so messed up I just can't handle it. Why can't things be better? What did I do to deserve all of this? Does some greater power really hate me so much?

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Vic's voice came from beside me. He was off the phone now and sitting next to me with his arm around my shoulders, "Please don't cry. It's okay,"

"Don't touch me," I snapped and shrugged him off, "Just l-leave me alone."

He said 'okay' and respected my wishes by scooting away and leaving me to my thoughts. What was the point of all of this? I had no one left. No one wanted me. I wasn't worth anything to anyone. I didn't want to feel like this anymore. I didn't want to feel anything. I just wanted it all to stop. The solution was so simple. I just wanted to escape everything forever. It was like I had an epiphany and knew exactly what I wanted to do. My mind wasn't even in control anymore. I had lost it. I waited until I saw the bright lights off a train coming towards us. Was it the one Vic wanted us to get on? I didn't care, because I wouldn't be getting on it. I just needed everything to end. My mind was a mess but one thought jumped out further than the rest.

'Just do it,' the thought whispered, 'Kill yourself.'

The train was getting closer and this was my chance. I felt good about the thought. It was the only way out. I leapt forward, running towards the edge of the platform. In the span of a second so much happened that it felt like minutes. I jumped out, but I was yanked back and I felt the gust of air from the train going past. I fell to the ground with two strong arms holding me back. I heard yelling coming from Vic who was holding me, but his voice sounded so distant. Through blurry, tear-filled eyes I watched the train come to a stop. I had missed my opportunity and I was suddenly filled with anger. I turned to Vic, hitting him and pushing him away from me.

"Why would you stop me?!" I screamed.

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself!" he shouted back. He himself had glistening eyes, but I was too mad to care that I had upset him.

"You don't have the right to stop me! Why did you stop me?!" I cried. Looking past Vic I saw the other side of the platform. Another train was coming. I made a move towards it, but he grabbed hold of me again.

"Stop it, Kellin!" he yelled forcefully. I kept going, crawling on the ground, trying to get further despite him holding me back. I needed this.

"No, no, let me go!" I cried, "I want to kill myself! Please! Let me go! You can't stop me! I want to die! Let me do it! Let me go! Please, please, it's my choice!"

He held me tightly and spun me around. He pushed me onto my back on the cold tiled floor.

"Stop this! Now!" Vic shouted, but I didn't want to stop. The train was going to be here soon.

"Let me go before it's too late. The train will leave. I need to get there in time. Please let me do this!" I begged. Why doesn't he understand?

"There is no train!" he yelled.

"Liar! You're lying! Get off of me!" I screamed. I tried hitting him away and I almost got free too. He can't stop me from doing this. I want to die and he can't stop me.

Vic pulled his hand back and I cringed as he slapped me hard across the face. Pain focused on that one area. It hurt a lot, and I mean a lot. It was stinging and tingling. My mouth was agape in shock, but I realized something. I had calmed down. I stopped struggling. I looked around. There was no other train. Did I imagine it? I looked back at Vic as I came back to my senses. Tears welled up in my eyes all over again. I tried to kill myself. I didn't want that. That wasn't me. This wasn't me.

"I stopped taking my pills," I choked out, "Help me, Vic. Help me, please. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Please help me," I cried frantically.

He looked at me with such sorrow, then he pulled me up to him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly in a hug. "It's going to be okay," he whispered and kissed the side of my head, "It's all going to be okay I promise."

Chapter Text

Vic's POV:

I sat on the edge of my bed, running my fingers through Kellin's hair. He was asleep and looked so peaceful. It was a dramatic change from before. After his major episode I managed to convince him to get on a train with me, then Mike met us and brought us back to my place. Kellin was crying the whole time. It hurt more than anything to see. He was such a mess and I couldn't help but to blame myself.

I lightly touched the red mark on his cheek. I hope he understands why I hit him. It was a high pressure situation and there was no calming him down. I knew that causing a little physical pain would distract him, and it worked. I snapped him out of it, but I wasn't naïve. He could be set off again, and that's why I brought him back here, so I could keep a good eye on him. He was in no state to see his parents.

"He's asleep?" Mike questioned from the doorway. I looked over at him and nodded.

"Yeah, he cried himself to sleep," I said sadly.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" he asked. When Mike picked us up I had been too focused on making sure that Kellin stayed calm, so we didn't get a chance to speak. I figured I should tell him, if only just to get it all off my chest. I got up, looked at Kellin once more to make sure he was well and truly asleep, and then left the room with Mike. We went into the living room and sat on the couch with Mike next to me.

"So? What happened?" he asked. I sighed and lean back on the couch.

"Well, I was in the city with Jason and some others. I just needed to wind down for a night, but then I saw Kellin walking the streets, drunk out of his mind, with that Oli kid and a couple of others," I explained.

I said Oli's name in disgust. I despised him, which as a teacher wasn't the right thing to do. Technically he hadn't done anything to me, but every time I saw him near Kellin I just either wanted to rip his head off or lock myself in my office and cry. I think I was doing a good job at hiding just how much everything was hurting me though.

"I couldn't just leave him. I've always had a bad feeling about Oli and I was right because him and his friends ended up ditching Kellin. I found him half passed out on the side of the road so I decided to take him home. We went to the train station, I called you, and then things got really bad," I said and paused as I remembered exactly what happened.

It was hard to think about. I care about him so much even though he doesn't really know it. Hearing him say that he wants to die was like a knife to my gut. I had no idea he had been hurting that much. It was at that second when he tried jumping in front of the train that I knew he was off his medication. I had never been so scared in my life.

"He was just sitting there crying and before I knew it he was trying to jump in front of a train," I looked up as his shocked face and continued, "I stopped him, obviously, but then he was yelling and screaming about how much he wanted to kill himself. It was...it was horrible, Mike. He really wanted to kill himself."

"He was having an episode? You know, one of those manic whatever that you told you told me about?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. It was intense. I slapped him pretty hard just to knock some sense into him. I feel bad about it, but it worked. He calmed down a bit and I was able to get him home," I finished the story.

"So he stopped taking his pills?" he questioned.

"Yeah, he admitted it and asked me to help him," I said.

"Wow that's...that's crazy," he said. I nodded and chuckled, although there was nothing funny about this situation. It was all just really full on and crazy.

"This is my fault," I said after a moment of silence.

"It's not your fault," Mike argued quickly.

"Yes, it is,"

"It's not. He has a mental disorder and he has a lot more going on than your break up. You can't feel guilty because you broke up with him and he took it badly," he said. That sounded really harsh and I wasn't sure if I agreed with him or not, so I ignored him.

"I didn't notice, Mike. I should have noticed that he had gotten this bad. I should have noticed sooner that he was off his meds," I said quietly. The guilt was eating me alive.

"We all should have noticed. Me, Tay, Alex...we're all as bad as each other. We all weren't there for him," he said. I knew Mike hated Kellin at the moment, so it meant something that he said that.

"Yeah... I think I've been confusing him lately too which hasn't helped with anything. I broke up with him and I should have made it easier on him by staying away, but I just..." I trailed off and sighed.

"You can't," I said.

"Exactly. I can't. I can't not check up on him. I can't not be a part of his life, Mike," I said and looked at him desperately.

"Then get back together with him," he said. His words shocked me. I wasn't expecting him to say that.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"You heard me. Win him back," he said.

"But you don't want us together. You were so mad at both of us when you found out," I reminded him.

"Yeah, I was, but this is obviously hurting both of you too much. I'm not going to stand in the way of your happiness. You know what the consequences are though if anyone finds out," he said. I nodded. I was very well aware. I really did want Kellin back, but I was so conflicted. I didn't want to get into trouble if someone were to find out, but then I thought about Kellin and I just want to be with him no matter what. I needed him, and he needed me.

"Maybe he'll get better if we get back together," I thought out loud.

"Wait, no. You can't fix him, Vic. You can't go into a relationship just to make the person better," he said.

"It won't be just to make him better. It'll be because I'm in love with him," I said truthfully. I was completely in love with Kellin Quinn.

"Does he know that?" Mike asked. I shook my head.

"No, because I know he doesn't feel the same. He's always just seen me as a bit of fun," I said.

"If it was only fun then why would he get so upset over it?" he asked.

"It wasn't just me that was making him upset, you said that yourself. He was having problems with you guys too. He probably felt neglected by everyone," I explained.

"So what are you going to do now?" he asked. I paused and thought about it. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to go in my room and hug and kiss Kellin all night, but that wasn't an option.

"I'm gonna let him sleep...then I'll see how he is in the morning, then I'll call his parents," I said.

"He won't like you calling them," he said.

"I know, but he needs help. He needs to get back on his meds. He needs professional supervision until he's stable again and I can't do that. I have work to go to and his parents would get too suspicious if I spend too much time with him," I told him. He nodded in understanding.

"I guess you're right," he said simply.

"Yeah, anyway, I think I'm gonna go watch over him for a little while," I said and stood up. I looked down at my little brother. I was proud of how mature he was suddenly being. I knew how angry at Kellin he was, and here he is trying to be supportive of the both of us. I only hope that I can do what Mike told me to do and win Kellin back. It might be easier said than done. I just hope that our relationship isn't too far gone.

—-

Kellin'S POV:

My memories of the night before were pieced together in little increments as I woke up. Blurry vision and a splitting headache were just two of the symptoms that indicated that I was hung-over, and had been crying a lot. I couldn't believe what I had done. I almost committed suicide, but Vic had been there to stop me. I remembered everything I did, right down to every detail. I felt embarrassed and sad.

I sat up quickly and looked around at my surroundings. I was in Vic's bedroom, and lying on the floor with a pillow under his head and a flimsy sheet thrown messily over his body was Vic himself. Lately I had been so angry every time I saw him, but right now I just felt sad, maybe not because of him, but I woke up feeling sad and I didn't think the feeling would leave very soon. Despite the sadness though, I felt sort of normal. I felt like me and I didn't feel like I was going to have another freak out, at least not any time soon.

"Vic," I said in a croaky voice. I cleared my throat and said his name a little louder. He stirred in his sleep for a moment then sat up quickly, looking around. His eyes fell on me and he visibly relaxed. He gave a small smile. "Hey, how long have you been awake for?" he asked.

"Just woke up," I said and rubbed my eyes. I looked back over at him. I wasn't sure what to say. I kind of felt like just getting out of here, but I knew Vic wouldn't let me go alone. I'm not sure what's going to happen now.

"How are you feeling?" he asked cautiously. He got up and came over to me, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me.

"Better. Like myself, I guess," I said.

"Do you remember last night?" he asked. I looked down at my hands in my lap and nodded shamefully.

"You really scared me," he said. If he was trying to make me feel guilty then it was working.

"I know," I mumbled. We fell into another silence. It was awkward being here with him. We were still broken up. I just wanted to leave, get back on my meds and hurry up and get better. I couldn't do that with him around.

"I'm really sorry," he spoke. I looked up in confusion.

"For what?" I asked.

"I don't know... I guess I just didn't realize how hard you would take me breaking up with you. I just thought you were always this carefree, strong person, like you would have been okay with everything and moved on," he explained. He was right, but also so very wrong.

"I thought I was that person too. I thought I could handle anything...but..." I trailed off, wondering if I should say it.

"But what?" he asked. I looked down at my hands in my lap again, unable to look him in the eye.

"But... I've never been in love before now, so I've never been this heartbroken before. It's all new to me," I said in a barely audible whisper. He didn't say anything. Why wasn't he saying anything? I slowly looked up to see his surprised face.

"I didn't know," he finally said.

"It doesn't matter anyway," I said quickly. I just wanted to forget that I told him.

"Yes it does. If I had known then-"

"Then what? You wouldn't have broken up with me?" I asked incredulously.

"Honestly...no, I wouldn't have because I think I love-"

"No!" I practically shouted, "No, no, no. Don't. Just don't. Please don't," I pushed what he was about to say out of my mind. I couldn't hear that. Not now. Vic looked confused.

"Vic...I need to get better by myself, okay? I need to do it by myself. I need to piece myself back together and not be dependent on you, because if I keep depending on you to make me better, then if you were ever out of the picture I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. I-I need to learn to take care of myself. That's who I am. That's who I was before everything. I depended on myself and myself only and I want to go back to that," I tried to explain as best as I could. I looked at him cautiously.

"Okay," he said nodding, "Okay, I won't get in the way."

He stood up and I could tell he wasn't happy about what I had said. He was a guidance counselor, so it was in his nature to want to help people, but I'm not just any person. I'm not just some student of his that's seeking help. I need to get better without him.

"I should get you to your parents. We're going to tell them what happened last night and that you're off your medication, okay?" he asked and headed to the door. He sounded so sad.

"Vic, wait," I stopped him. He turned back and got off the bed. I walked over to him and put my arms around him in a hug because I think we both needed it. He sighed and held me back tightly. I felt like things were going to be okay now. I knew I had a long way to go. I knew that in this very moment I was okay, but I also knew that in a second I could slip into another episode. Last night was terrifying though. It made me realize that I really do need help and I can't keep going into self-destruct mode.

"Just be patient with me," I whispered. He didn't say anything else. He just let go and then we left.

Chapter Text

The days and even week that followed my relapse were much like the time I found out I was bipolar. I saw a therapist again and got back on medication. I wasn't allowed any technology and my mom looked after me. She wasn't too disappointed in me for going off my meds. She was more guilty that she hadn't noticed. She started fussing over me and making sure I was okay every five minutes, not that I minded. It was nice to know someone cared. I probably should have just asked for help when I started getting bad and then all of this wouldn't have happened.

I was doing okay though. I was kept in a hospital for a few nights because I had to be under 24 hour supervision, and then I was allowed to go home. I didn't go back to school straight away. There wasn't much point when I had already missed the beginning of the week. I wanted to go back quickly though. I didn't want to be sitting at home doing nothing. I wanted to get my life back on track.

I missed out on going to all the big Halloween parties because it wasn't a good idea for me to be near alcohol. Alex always threw a pretty big one each year. When my mom let me have my phone back I didn't even get an invitation text from him. That made me a little upset since I go every year, but I didn't let it get to me. I couldn't. I didn't have texts from Tay wondering where I was either. I didn't get anything from Vic, which was good because I told him to leave me alone for a while and if he texted me then I'd be focusing on him too much and less on getting better. I did however get a couple of texts from Mike just asking how I was, but I was 99% sure Vic made him send them.

I was finally on my way back to school now. It was Monday morning and I was finally feeling like my old self again. I had lost sense of who I was a person, but not anymore. I'm Kellin fucking Quinn and I don't let petty things like high school drama get to me. That's just not who I am and I felt a lot better once I realized that. I just wanted to be my carefree self again, and I felt like that as I walked into the school building.

First things first; I owe both Tay and Alex an apology for the little scene I caused in biology. That wasn't right of me to do. I had no idea what came over me. I knew it was a coward's way out to blame my lack of medication for how I acted, so I wasn't going to do that. I would accept responsibility for it.

I saw Alex first, but it didn't particularly go to well. All I said was his name and he walked straight past me like I didn't even exist. He really was stubborn when he wanted to be. I shook it off and went to find Tay, but before I could find her the bell rang. It was an annoying twist of fate that I happened to have biology class first thing on a Monday morning. Last time I kind of lost my mind. Hopefully this time would be better.

I made my way into class, and like usual Vic was already there setting up for the lesson. I kind of wanted to avoid him, at least for now. I told him to wait until I'm better before talking to me, and really I am better, but I still have a few things to sort out. I directed my attention to the classroom. There were a few other students here, including Tay. She wasn't surrounded by any of her female friends like she had been lately. Considering she wasn't in her usual seat where Alex and Mike sat, I figured her and Alex still hadn't talked. I walked straight up to her and when she saw me she rolled her eyes.

"I owe you an apology," I got straight to the point, "What I did in here; kissing Jack and taunting you about Alex's feelings, it was wrong. I wasn't...I wasn't me, let's just say that, and I'm sorry. I was angry at you and Alex, so I'm sorry."

She looked at me for just a moment longer, then looked down at her notepad, completely ignoring me. Well, at least I got what I had to say off my chest. I sighed and turned back around, but then I stopped, and why? Because getting something off your chest is supposed to make you feel relieved, only I didn't feel relieved. I had more to say. I was sick of being treated like shit for this. Tay needs a fucking wake up call, so I turned around and went back to her.

"Okay, listen up," I started and she looked up at me, "Alex cheating on you is not my fault. He didn't catch some fucking gay disease from me. I didn't put anything into his head like you think I did. He has feelings for someone else, a guy, and that sucks for you, and I'm not telling you to get over it, but get over this ridiculous reason for hating me. Yeah, he kissed me and I didn't tell you. Big deal. Do you know how tough of a position that was for me? One of my best friends was confused about something and he didn't want me saying anything, even if that meant not telling another one of my best friends. I was caught in the middle. I thought he was over it. I thought I was sparing you from feeling hurt because of a dumb mistake. I did not know the he was fucking Jack behind your back. It is not my fault and if you're going to keep blaming me and completely throw away our friendship then fine, that fucking sucks, but fine."

Now that is what true relief felt like. I had been holding onto that for too long. It was so satisfying to stand up for myself and put her back in her place. I swiftly spun around and marched to the front of the room where I would be sitting by myself since it was clear Alex wouldn't want me sitting with him. I sat in the chair and was shaking a little bit after my outburst. It all needed to be said though.

Shortly after, Mike, Alex, and the rest of the class came in and took their seats. I looked up at Vic who had been watching me, but quickly averted his eyes. I'd have to talk to him sooner or later, just not today. Just as Vic started the class and I was about to tune out like normal, I was suddenly not so alone. I had been joined by none other than Tay. She gave me this look, one filled with apologies, and that's when I decided that nothing else had to be said. We were both idiots really, but it looks like we both forgave each other. It didn't need to be more complicated than that. I gave her a small smile before looking back at Vic and pretending to pay attention.

Okay, I have one friend on my side. Deep down I think I knew that Tay and I would be okay. We've never fought before, and I mean never, so it was unknown territory, but it was nice to know that the two of us could get past whatever issues we had with each other. Now I just had to work on Alex and Mike.

I got my chance with Alex a couple of classes later. We had English together and when the teacher excused him to go to the bathroom, I excused myself too and followed after him. I was going to do the same thing I did to Tay. I just had to tell him how it is, and boy would I have fun telling Alex how much of an idiot he was considering he had absolutely no reason to hate me.

"Alex, fancy meeting you here," I said when I walked into the bathrooms. He looked at me and sighed dramatically.

"I don't want to talk to you," he said.

"Good, because I don't want you to talk to me, so shut your mouth and listen," I snapped. He seemed a little shocked at how forward I was being, which was good. The shock will at least make him shut up for a moment.

"Look, I'm sorry about kissing your boy toy, but your reaction was all you so you can't put that on me. I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Tay; you cheating on her was not my fault, okay? I didn't take your pants off and push you over so you accidentally slipped in Jack Barakat's ass. You did that all by yourself. You kissed me all by yourself. You questioned your sexuality all by yourself. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. It was all you. Start taking responsibility for your actions instead of being a little bitch and blaming everyone else," I said angrily. I was about to just storm out of there but I had one more thing to say.

"Oh and grow some fucking balls and talk to Tay about what's been going on with you. She deserves an explanation," I said. There, I was done. I said everything that I needed to and damn did I feel good about it. I was so fired up, but I was controlling it.

Alex didn't talk to me when he came back to class. It was probably a little naïve of me to think that he would have come and sat with me like Tay had this morning. Then again I wasn't exactly nice when I spoke to Alex.

Lunch time came around pretty quickly and there were still two people I had to give a piece of my mind to. The first one I saw in the halls when I was on my way to the cafeteria. Mike was walking all on his lonesome and I caught up quickly, standing in front of him.

"Hey, Mike," I said casually. He had stopped walking and looked at me a bit awkwardly.

"Hi, Kellin," he said. Good start.

"Are you still mad at me?" I asked. He sighed and shrugged.

"Yes? No. I don't know," he mumbled. He seemed confused. I guess I'd give him the nice version of my rant.

"You know it takes two to tango, right? It wasn't all just me. It wasn't one sided. I loved him and we just couldn't help ourselves," I said.

"Loved?" he questioned.

"Um...yes?"

"As in past tense?" he asked, sounding a little angry. I didn't even realize I said that. I didn't mean it in that way.

"What, no, no. Never mind. I'm not even thinking about Vic and I right now. I can't. I'm just trying to make things better with my friends," I said.

"Oh...well I kinda forgave you a little while ago," he said and started walking down the hall. I walked with him towards the cafeteria.

"You did?" I asked.

"Yeah, after your episode. I had a talk with Vic about stuff. Who do you think told him to try and win you back?" he asked.

"You? You want us to get back together" I questioned.

"I'm not thrilled about the idea, but if it means Vic would be happy again then yes," he said. I looked around cautiously to see if anyone was listening in to our conversation. We had been talking quietly and no one was around.

"He's been sad?" I asked.

"He'd probably kill me for telling you this, but yeah. He hasn't really been himself," he said. Nothing else was spoken about this topic. I was left thinking about just how much the break up affected Vic. To me, he was barely affected. I saw him in classes and he always seemed fine, but I guess he's better at hiding it than I am.

Mike and I got to the cafeteria and my eyes scanned the room, looking for an empty table since Alex still didn't like me. Tay was with her girl friends still. Oli was not an option, but I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. He wasn't here yet though.

"Kellin, Mike," I heard Alex's voice. He was over at our normal table. He was inviting me over? I looked at Mike for some sort of answer and he merely shrugged. I guess Alex has come to his senses. I went over to the table and sat in my usual spot. Alex looked at me guiltily.

"I'm sorry," he said. I knew Alex so I knew that took a lot for him to say.

"Apology accepted," I said cheerily.

"So we're cool?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, we're cool," I said, and then things went back to normal, as if we had never fought. I think I deserved a little more than an apology, but I'm not that difficult to be pleased so I forgot about everything. I looked around the cafeteria again and saw the person I wanted to talk to; Oli.

"Excuse me for a moment," I said to Alex and Mike then stood up. I went straight over to Oli's table and stood there, looking down at him. He looked up and smiled cockily.

"Well hey there, Kellin," he said sweetly.

"Cut the crap, Oli. What the hell is your problem?" I asked. I glanced at his friends who weren't paying any attention to us, mostly because I was speaking in a whisper-yell to not get their attention.

"My problem? I don't have a problem," he said.

"Why did you leave me that night?" I asked.

"Because, love, I had better things to do," he said. I was actually genuinely hurt by Oli and I knew I shouldn't be. I shouldn't give him the satisfaction of hurting me.

"I could have died," I growled at him. Suddenly his 'holier than thou' expression changed to confusion, so I went on, "I was off my pills and I was drunk. I almost jumped in front of a train and if Mr. Fuentes wasn't there to save me then I would have died. So thanks a lot for abandoning me. I actually thought we had some level of friendship. Obviously I was wrong. I just want you to know that you're lowlife piece of shit."

I spun around to storm away because I didn't have much else to say to him, plus I was getting more emotional than I thought I would. He grabbed my hand though, stopping me. I turned and glared at him.

"I had no idea, Kellin. If I knew then I would have stayed. Contrary to what you think, I do actually care about you," he said. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"You care, huh? Then why ditch me in the first place?" I asked.

"Because I fucking like you and you were using me as a distraction. I have no clue why you needed to be distracted, but you were using me and that pissed me off, so I left. You're no angel yourself, Quinn. You're a user too," he said, and all of that really hit me. I had used him for my own benefit. He admitted to liking me? I couldn't tell if that was complete bullshit or not. I went with the first answer. I shook my hand from his grasp.

"Stay away from me," I said firmly, and that was final. I was done with Oli. I went back over to Mike and Alex and sat down. Oli had my emotions all messed up,but I told him to stay away. I ended whatever kind of relationship we had andthat was good enough for me. All was as it should be. My eyes fell on Vic. Okay, almost everything. I have no idea what I'm going to do about Vic, but I'd figure it out tomorrow.

Chapter Text

I sat at lunch the next day with Mike and Alex. Things had relatively gone back to normal, or at least with us they had. There was still a little tension, but that was expected since they spent the past couple of weeks hating me. Other than that, we were just like we used to be, only minus Tay. She smiled at me from across the cafeteria and I smiled back, giving a small wave. I haven't really been able to talk to her since biology yesterday since Alex is around me a lot and she doesn't want to be near him.

"Who are you-," Alex stopped speaking when he turned his head and saw who I was waving at. Tay looked down quickly, and so did Alex.

"Oh, never mind," he said and turned back to his food. He picked at it solemnly. Mike and I exchanged a look. We both knew that something had to be done about the Tay and Alex situation. Me, being the more assertive one of the group, decided to speak up.

"Have you spoken to Tay yet?" I asked Alex. He looked up at me and shook his head.

"Nah, I wouldn't know what to say," he mumbled.

"How about the truth?" Mike suggested with a bit of aggression to his voice. I guess he wasn't a huge fan of what Alex did.

"What exactly is the truth? Like, do you want her back?" I asked. Alex kept pushing his food around, trying to distract himself from the topic at hand, but god damn it I'm going to make him deal with this sooner rather than later.

"I don't know..." He started, "I mean, I do care about Tay, like a lot. I love her, but...I'm really into Jack too."

"Who do you want to be with though?" I asked. He shrugged and I rolled my eyes. "Well, try this. Imagine you're standing at the alter at your wedding. Who is by your side?"

He snorted and chuckled, "Jack would look ridiculous in a wedding dress,"

I raised my eyebrows in curiosity, "Uh, okay...so you clearly just thought of Jack...in a dress though. I don't wanna know about your little kinks. Point is; you thought of him and not Tay."

He looked at me thoughtfully. I hope I just helped him and didn't confuse the stupid boy any further.

"Do you guys think I should go and talk to her?" Alex asked.

"Yes!" Mike and I shouted at the same time. God, he was frustrating.

"Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a twist," Alex said defensively and stood up.

"Again with the thinking about boys in girl's clothing. How did I not guess that you were gay before?" I teased. He gave a snarky look before walking off towards Tay. I watched him, and well it was really awkward to watch. Both of them seemed so uncomfortable to be communicating with each other, but then Tay stood up and they went outside together.

I was glad that he was now being open, or sort of open, about who he is, even if that means breaking Tay's heart. No one in school had really said anything to Alex about his sexuality even though I kind of outed him a couple of weeks ago in biology. Then again this entire school has always been really cool when it comes to gay people.

"Speaking of talking to your exes about your feelings..." Mike trailed off and looked at me expectantly. I groaned and rested my chin on my hand.

"I know, I know," I grumbled. I had to talk to Vic soon. I was just too nervous to.

"He's been asking about you a lot," he said.

"Really? What does he say?" I asked.

"Hm, just the usual. He asks how you are since you won't talk to him yet," he explained

"Oh, yeah... I'm supposed to have a session with him after lunch but I don't know if I'll go," I said.

"Please go," he pleaded, "He's been really patient with you and I know it's eating him alive. You do want to get back together with him, right?"

"I don't know," I said quietly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked kind of angrily. At that moment the bell rang, saving me from answering him. The truth was that I really didn't know what I wanted. I had been doing a good job of pushing Vic from my mind lately so I haven't really been able to stop and really think about our relationship. I'm pretty sure he wants me back though.

Without another word I got up from the table and walked away from Mike. I wanted to just go off to study hall, but in the end I forced myself to go to Vic's office. I had been on a roll lately getting my life back in order and this was the final thing I had to sort out. I had no clue how this conversation would go down though. I love him but there's so much more to take into consideration.

I got to Vic's office before he did, but didn't let myself in. I lean against the wall by his door and waited for him. It wasn't too late to leave, right? Wrong. I saw Vic walking towards me. He had seen me too. He looked a little shocked, but then he smiled a little.

"Kellin, glad you could make it," he said kindly when he got to me.

"Yeah well, we've got some things to talk about," I said. He nodded in agreement then opened the door and gestured for me to go inside, which I did. I sat in the familiar chair across his desk and he sat down too. It had been a little while since I had an actual session with him, so this will be interesting. My aura of confidence had significantly fallen though. I'm just too vulnerable around him.

"So, you seem to be doing well," he said, looking directly at me. I nodded under his gaze.

"Yeah, I'm doing great. Much better," I said truthfully. "That's good...good," he said and a moment of silence passed between us, "So...you really are good then? You're telling the truth?"

"Yes, I really am good. I'm back on my meds. I'm feeling...normal. I'm fine. Thank you for asking," I said all too politely.

"Good. You haven't been having any thoughts? Like really negative thoughts?" he asked. I shook my head quickly.

"Nope. None since I've been on my meds," I told him.

"You and your parent's relationship all good?" he questioned. Once again, I nodded.

"Yup."

"And you seem to be friends with Tay, Alex and Mike again?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm friends with them again," I said. This small talk was...weird, to say the least.

"So everything is fine? Everything's good for you?" he asked, and again I nodded.

"Yes, everything's great," I confirmed.

"Life's back on track?" he asked.

"Yep."

"Good. I love you," he blurted out.

It was so blunt and to the point that I kind of sat there in shock for a minute. He loves me? Well, of course I knew that already. He had almost told me once before but I told him not to say it. I wasn't naïve, I knew that he loved me, but hearing him actually say the phrase out loud was shocking, mostly because no one other than family or close friends has ever said that to me before.

"I, uh, I know," I said the first thing that came to mind. Damn it Kellin, snap out of it.

"Okay..." He sounded a little unsure.

"Yeah, I mean, I love you too," I said, but the way I said it was so robotic. It was like we were in an awkward business meeting.

"I know. I want you back, Kellin. I mean I really, really want you back," he said desperately. I sat there gnawing on my bottom lip. I just wanted the both of us to be happy but there were things holding me back.

"What if you freak out and break up with me again? What if there's another close call and someone almost finds out about us? What will you do then? Hurt me again?" I questioned.

"I know you're scared, and so am I. But I won't ever freak out on you again and do that. I really want to be with you," he said and I could tell that he was sincere.

"What exactly changed your mind?" I asked. He looked a little lost for a moment before answering.

"I thought that it'd be easier, but it wasn't. Like, it made sense in my head. I thought that I'd break it off with you and maybe pick things up when school's over, but I didn't realize it'd be so hard to move on without you. I'd see you hurting and all I'd want to do is hold you and make you better, but then I'd see you happy like you have been today and yesterday and all I want is to be a part of that and share that with you. I know this is a bad idea, but I also know that I really, really can't stay away from you. So please...please give me another chance," he begged.

He sounded so desperate and like he was in pain. A huge part of me wanted to say yes and put him out of his misery, but I can't keep making decisions on impulse. I have to stop, be responsible and think it over.

"The thing is... my life is going really good right now. I'm stable and things are just...good. I don't want it to all crash down if this doesn't work out," I said. He went to say something but I put my finger up to silence him, "I just need a little time to think about what I want on my own, okay?" he looked sad and beaten down, but he nodded.

"Yeah, whatever you need," he said. The awkwardness in the room was getting to be a little too much now.

"Okay well, I'm gonna go to study hall," I said. He didn't say anything, just nodded. I knew I was hurting him by making him wait, but I just needed a little more time to think. So, I left the room and went off to the library for some quiet time to myself.

Chapter Text

I lay on my bed later that night with Vic on my mind. As much as I longed to be with him, every time I made a decision I'd stop and think about how hurt I felt when he broke up with me, then I'd be back to square 1, unsure of what to do. I was just scared and finding it hard to find the motivation to jump back into things.

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. Now the only thing I was thinking of was Vic holding me in bed. He was always so warm and comforting. There was no doubt that I wanted him. I wanted to be with him, always. I wanted to kiss him and tell him how much I love him. What happened to the old me? The me that would make impulse decisions and do whatever he wanted to do? Part of me wished I was like that again but I couldn't deny that it felt satisfying to actually use my brain every once in a while.

Risk. It was all a risk; one that I wasn't sure I would take. As I pondered on the word more I realized something. When Vic and I got together, he took a huge risk for me. He risked his job, reputation and losing his little brother. He risked getting thrown in jail for me. Even now he was still risking everything because he wanted to be with me. Yet here I am debating whether to get back with him or not because I don't want to risk a broken heart?

I sat up on my bed as I made a decision. It was my turn to take a risk. I can't just stay in my comfort zone for the rest of my life, right? I can't keep rejecting people because I'm scared. I love him. I want him. I'm going to get him. Before I could change my mind I got out of bed, slipped on my hoodie, put my shoes on and snuck out of the house; headed towards Vic's place.

—-

When I got to his house, it was dark. There were no lights on. It was only around 10. Surely both he and Mike wouldn't be asleep already. I knocked on the front door since there was no point in sneaking around so Mike wouldn't catch us. I got no answer. I really wanted to see Vic though, so I went around the side of the house. There was a dull glow coming from his bedroom window. I looked through the glass and saw him there at his desk with nothing but the light from a lamp letting him see whatever he was working on. Knowing him he was probably grading papers. I smiled, thinking about how much I loved this nerd.

I knocked on the window and after not getting his attention I knocked louder. I still got no reaction out of him. I frowned and slid the window open. When I did I was able to hear the whispering sounds of music. He must have been listening to his iPod. With a cheeky smile I climbed through the window, shut it after I was in, and snuck up behind him. I touched his shoulder lightly but it was enough to have him scared and jumping out of his chair; so much so that he fell onto the ground. He looked up at me from the ground and his expression changed to relief.

"Damn it, Kellin, you scared me," he said as he took his headphones out of his ears and turned the iPod off.

"Sorry, no one answered the door," I said. He got off this ground, his eyes now level with mine.

"Oh, yeah. Mike's at Alex's. Some boy's night thing or whatever," he said dismissively. I ignored the fact that I wasn't invited to Alex's. There was no one I wanted on my mind other than Vic. He looked so attractive tonight, then again he usually does. He was still in the clothes he wore to school that day, only no tie and the first couple of buttons on his shirt were undone. Talking about our relationship was suddenly the last thing I wanted to do.

"What are you doing here?" he asked cautiously. Poor, adorable Vic was still afraid that I was going to call things off completely, so I wanted to put his mind to rest. Complete silence followed his question, and I mean complete dead silence. It made the atmosphere between us intense.

I gave a small smile and stepped towards him. His confused eyes flicked from mine to my lips. God, I really hope I'm making the right decision here. I placed my hands on his shoulders then slid them around his neck. He looked into my eyes and I could see that he looked relieved. From him practically begging me earlier, I just knew how bad he wanted this.

I pulled him closer and kissed him softly. I felt so comforted kissing him. I had thought that maybe Vic was pressuring me, and in a way he was, but after this kiss I knew this was exactly where I wanted to be. I loved him. I loved him so much. It was that thought that fueled the kiss. He kissed me back desperately, running his fingers through my hair. Yes, this was right. This was the best decision I've ever made.

He rested his forehead against mine as our lips parted. I could tell he was going to say something but I didn't want him to. I didn't want to ruin this with words.

"Don't speak," I whispered. I slipped of my shoes and kicked them to the side, then looked down. I brought my hands to his jeans and undid his belt buckle. The clicking of the metal was the only thing heard throughout the entire house. I looked back up at him and smiled cheekily. He didn't do anything, just let me loosen his jeans until they were able to drop to the floor. Next I undid the buttons on his shirt one by one. Each time I undid a button I'd kiss him sweetly on the lips.

"Kellin, I-"

"Shh," I stopped him and pushed his shirt off, "I don't want to talk. I just want to feel everything. Okay?"

He stared at me with those beautiful brown eyes of his, then nodded.

"Okay," he whispered.

That night we made love, and I mean really made love. It was slow. It was sweet. It was quiet. It lasted a long time. It was exactly what we both needed to heal. It was what we needed to know that everything was okay with us. It was just as special as the first time that we were together in that hotel room.

I loved him so much, and I let him know it too, whispering it in his ear when we were done. He whispered it back as if it were the most natural thing he had ever said. I felt loved too. I felt safe there with him in his bed.

"Please stay the night," he said through heavy panting.

He lay next to me, a sheet covering his body. I smiled, gently touching the side of his face.

"Of course," I whispered.

Tiredness was already washing over me. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He helped me clean off, then we got back under the covers. He held me tighter than ever before. I faced him, placing my hand over his chest where his heart was, trying to feel it's thudding.

"You're cute," he whispered, putting his hand over the top of mine.

"You're cuter," I said back sweetly. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. He ran his fingers through my hair, making me feel sleepier than before. "Thank you for giving me a chance," he spoke quietly.

"Thank you for not giving up," I spoke back.

Chapter Text

The soft kisses on the back of my neck from a bored Vic were what woke me up. His arms were wrapped securely around my waist and the warm naked front of his body was pressed firmly against my back. I couldn't imagine a more perfect scenario. I smiled and opened my eyes properly. I was expecting to squint at the morning sun, but it wasn't up yet.

"What time is it?" I asked in a scratchy voice.

"Just past 4:30. I didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"Yes you did," I mumbled. He sighed and kissed my shoulder.

"Okay maybe I did, but I've been up for half an hour and I missed you," he whispered into my ear and kissed it lightly, sending shivers through me.

"Missed me? I'm right here," I laughed quietly.

"Don't question my logic," he said, kissing me again. I loved how affectionate he could be. I loved him. I smiled and shifted on the bed, turning around to face him. I slid my arm around his back and rested my leg on one of his. I adored being so close to him like this.

"Go back to sleep," I muttered and brushed my lips across his. He pressed his against them harder. I smiled into the kiss because I just couldn't believe how lucky I was. I knew for sure that I had made the right decision by going back to him. I wouldn't give this up for the world. He was everything to me.

"No. You'll have to go soon. I want to spend every possible second with you awake," he said. Fuck, he's cute.

"But I'm tired," I whined. I looked at his eyes to see amusement in them.

"Another part of your body would disagree," he teased. I blushed in embarrassment. Yes, there was a part of my body that was a little too excited right now, but can you really blame me? I have a naked man pressed against me giving me kisses, so of course I'm going to be a little hard. I groaned and rolled onto my back.

"Shut up," I snapped. He trailed his fingers lightly across my stomach.

"Don't be ashamed, baby. This could lead to many opportunities," he said. He leaned into me and kissed my neck. God damn it, why does he do this to me? I felt warmth in my chest and whole body. I felt so relaxed but also filled with tension.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like..." He trailed off as he got on top of me. His lips were still connected to my neck as he slowly grinded his lower half against me. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes fluttered closed.

"Okay, this is definitely better than sleep," I said. He grazed his teeth along my collarbone and lightly bit it. A smile formed on my lips. He's so perfect. My skin tingled in every place he touched. Even as he held my hand and pinned it to the bed, I got tingles. All good things have a way of coming to an end though, and our activities were interrupted when we both heard a cough coming from another room. Vic groaned and looked at me.

"I guess Mike ended up coming home last night," he said and rolled off me, "Sorry I just can't do this while he's here."

"It's fine...I guess," I said, over-exaggerating the sadness. He slid his arm around my waist again, but his touch wasn't doing anything except encouraging my problem. I ignored it though and relaxed next to him.

"One day, when you're 18 and have graduated high school, we'll have all the time in the world to do whatever we want," he said encouragingly. I smiled at the thought. I longed for the day where we could be together properly.

"That seems like a long time away," I said.

"Just until April. That's only like six months away," he pointed out.

"Six months of sneaking around," I said.

"We can do it. We just have to be careful," he assured me. I smiled and nodded.

"Yep, and then we can be together forever," I said, then I just realized what I said, "Or I mean, together for, like...whenever...I didn't mean forever. I don't want, I mean I do. I mean I don't want to freak you out. I-"

"Shh," he hushed me and kissed my cheek, "Calm down."

He brought his hand to my face and made me look at him, then he kissed me deeply. I moaned lightly. He was such a good kisser. I rolled towards him and ran my fingers through his luscious hair. I really couldn't get enough of this, but god fucking damn he was turning me on even more than I already was.

"Are you sure you don't wanna have a little bit of morning sex?" I asked against his lips. I sounded a little desperate, but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head and moving away a little.

"When we're finally allowed to legally be together, and maybe even get our own place, you're going to fuck me in every room, you got that?" I asked boldly. He didn't seem shocked at my words. By now he's used to how forward and sexual I could be.

"Our own place?" he questioned. Damn it, I've gone and said something stupid again. I shrugged, rolling onto my back.

"Umm, I don't know. I mean maybe one day...I don't know," I muttered. A short moment of silence passed by us before he spoke.

"What are you doing after high school anyway?" he asked. I hated that question so much. My parents asked me it all the time and the only thing I felt was anxiety because I really had no idea.

"I don't know," I said.

"Well, what do you want to do?" he asked. I shrugged, not having much of an answer.

"I'm not sure. I always thought I'd be a high school dropout and fuck up my whole life, so I've never really thought about it," I said unsure.

"Are you going to go to college?" he asked. I practically laughed at the idea.

"Me? In college? I don't think I'm smart enough for that," I said.

"Hey, don't underestimate yourself. You could study art. I've seen your drawings and know that you're good," he said. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I don't know. I've always done art for fun. College might ruin it for me," I said.

"Or it might open up a lot of good opportunities for you and teach you new things," he said. I hadn't really thought much about going to college, but maybe I should contemplate it. I liked that Vic was supporting me. That definitely helped. I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself. I'd probably just flunk out anyway.

"Maybe. I'll think about it," I said quietly.

"Good, but, oh, if you do go, try and pick a college close to here. I don't want you leaving me as soon as we can actually be together," he said.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," I said and hugged him tightly. That was the truth. I'd rather not go to college at all than leave him.

"You better not," he said seriously. I brushed his hair from his eyes and kissed his forehead.

"So what do you see in your future?" I asked curiously.

"You, me and about seven children," he said. My eyes widened.

"Seven children?" I asked.

"Calm down, I'm kidding," he laughed.

"You're such a jerk," I snapped. He just laughed again.

"Yeah, but really... I don't know. I love teaching so I'll probably still be teaching here. I might even go back to college and further my education a bit. We could be classmates," he teased.

"No way am I doing any nerdy classes that you would go to," I said.

"Maybe I'll show up in your art class one day as a nude model," he joked. I rolled my eyes. He was a dork.

"Whatever," I muttered. I rested my head on his shoulder. I wished that this moment could last forever. I would do anything to spend the rest of the day laying like this, however, we both had to go to school today. I also needed to get home before my parents woke up.

"I should probably go," I said regretfully.

"No, stay," he pleaded and nestled his nose into my hair.

"I can't. I have to get home before my parents wake up," I told him.

"Look at you being the responsible one," he said.

"Yeah, well it had to happen someday," I said.

"Aww so mature," he teased.

"I wouldn't say mature," I defended myself. Maturity was sort of an insult. I love my immature nature. I sat up on the bed, stretching out my body. I just wanted to cuddle under the blankets some more, but I forced myself to get off the bed and stand up.

"You're going to actually show up to your session today, right? I don't think I can go the full day without seeing you," he said. Fuck, that was adorable.

"No need to be so clingy," I teased as I searched for my clothes. I found my boxers and jeans first. I put them on, doing my jeans up.

"I'll be clingy if I want," he said and got out of bed. I picked up my shirt and hoodie as he got to me. He wrapped his arms around me and planted his lips on mine. I melted against him. I really didn't want to leave but I had to, at least before the sun comes up. I pushed him away before I got too carried away.

"Okay, seriously. I'm going," I said. He watched me as I finished putting the remainder of my clothes on and slipped my shoes on too. I headed to the window. I didn't want to use the front door in case I ran into Mike. I just didn't want to make things more awkward.

"You aren't leaving without a goodbye kiss, are you?" he asked. I looked back at him and smiled.

"I just gave you one," I said.

"I want another," he said, moving closer. When he got to me he lightly pushed me against the window and kissed me. It was incredible how many emotions go through you just from a simple kiss.

"I love you," he said when he pulled away.

"I love you too," I said with the biggest smile on my face.

—-

The whole walk home was spent smiling and thinking about Vic. I saw so much beauty in the day. I never used to notice the sky or trees and the beauty of them, but today everything was beautiful. Everything was perfect, until of course when I got home. I walked through the front door and barely got two steps inside when my mom showed up at the top of the stairs with an angry glare on her face.

"Where were you all night?!" she yelled at me. Here we go.

"I-"

"Don't say you were at Alex's, Mike's, Tay's or Oli's because I called them all," she said and crossed her arms over her chest.

"How do you even have all of their numbers?" I asked.

"I know how to work the internet. Now tell me, where were you?" she asked.

"I have friends other than those four, ya know?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Where were you!?" she shouted.

"With a friend! Get off my back!" I shouted back.

"You don't just go out all night without telling someone! You're mentally ill, Kellin! Anything could have happened," she said, a little softer this time.

"Thank you so much for reminding me that I'm mentally ill. Wow, whatever would I do with you?" I said sarcastically. I marched up the stairs with her barking at me about how I shouldn't talk to her like that.

"I want to know where you were," she said when I passed her.

"I was sucking boys' dicks in alleyways," I lied.

"That's not funny," she said.

"It was a little funny," I smiled cockily. I went to my bedroom door. It was a miracle my stepdad hadn't woken up with all of this yelling, or maybe he opted to ignore it.

"Do you have a boyfriend you aren't telling us about? Because you know how we feel about you dating when you're sick," she said.

"I'm not sick," I said through gritted teeth, "I'm taking my medication. It's all under control. I can manage having relationships with people."

"So you do have a boyfriend then?" she concluded. I didn't even answer her. I was done with the interrogation. I went into my room and slammed the door shut so I could get ready for school in peace. What the hell is with parents being so damn nosey? I was so angry, but all I did was think about how I'd be seeing Vic later today and that calmed me right down.

Chapter Text

Everything felt right again. I walked around school the next day with my head held high. My friends liked me again and had Vic back. Everything was like it was before, only now I felt a sense of maturity in myself. I simply felt older and I knew that was because I pieced myself back together after being broken. Instead of relying on other people, I mostly did it on my own. That made me feel independent and good about myself. I finally had everything I wanted.

Everything I wanted, except good grades. I smiled sheepishly as Vic placed a report I had done on my desk. I got a 'D+' on it. At least Vic wasn't treating me any different to other students in the class. He gave me a disapproving look and moved on to the other students. Maybe I'll make him punish me later. I smile at my own thoughts and put my report in my notebook so the failure wasn't staring me in the face.

I was sitting at the back of the classroom with Alex and Mike. Tay told me she wanted to sit with her friend, Hayley. I guess they've become closer friends over the past couple of weeks. As I stared at Tay thoughtfully, a thought popped into my mind.

"Hey, Alex," I got the boy's attention from next to me, "How did your talk with Tay go?

Alex shifted uncomfortably in his chair before answering, "It was okay. Obviously she's still upset with me. I get that. But she says she understands why I did what I did...sort of. I don't think she's willing to forgive and forget yet,"

"Uh huh, so now are you and Jack...a thing?" I questioned.

"Um, I guess...sort of. I don't know. We're keeping it on the down low, mainly so Tay doesn't see us together and get upset, you know?" he explained. I nodded along.

"How thoughtful of you," I said a little sarcastically. He ignored my attitude as the bell rang. It was a bittersweet moment. I wasn't a fan of biology, so I would love to get out of here, but I loved the teacher so I wanted to stay.

"You coming, Kellin?" Mike asked. He and Alex were already out of their seats. I glanced at Vic and back to Mike.

"Yeah, you guys go ahead. I'll catch up," I told them. Alex, who had no clue what was going on with Vic and I, didn't think anything of me staying back. Mike on the other hand rolled his eyes. Oh well, he'll get over it.

The two of them left along with the rest of the class who were eager to get out of here. I slowly packed up my things so I was sure to be the last student left. When the room was empty Vic looked up at me with a smile.

"Hey cutie," I said quietly and walked up to his desk. I hugged my books tightly to my chest. I was feeling a little shy around him as images from the previous night flooded my mind. I was in love and it made me feel kind of bashful.

"Hey yourself. Did you need something?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Nope, just wanted to say hey," I said.

"How sweet of you," he said with a widening smile, "Come see me after school in my office?"

"Sure thing. I can't wait," I said. After along lingering stare, which was mainly focused on his lips, I reluctantly forced myself to leave his presence and went off to my next class.

When I was walking down the halls, I stopped when something caught my eye. Standing in the hall talking to each other was Tay and Mike. It wasn't that uncommon that they would talk to each other. The only thing was that I had never seen them talk without either Alex or myself being there. I kind of thought they were just friends by association, so it was a little weird to see them talking together.

What made me stop though was not the fact that they were talking, it was how they were talking. Tay was being her usual smiling self, but Mike on the other hand, well, I guess I could read guys well because I noticed the way he would move closer or the way he smiled or how he lightly touched her arm. Maybe I was being too observant, but I made up my mind that Mike had a crush on her, mainly because when she walked away, his eyes didn't leave her. I noticed him sigh deeply and turn towards me. I gave him a curious look. Does he actually like Tay? I never noticed him have any type of feelings towards her when she was with Alex.

"Hey, wait up," I said when he walked straight past me.

"I gotta get to class, Kellin," he said dismissively. I caught up to him anyway.

"Do you have a thing for Tay?" I asked.

"You are the last person to judge about these things," he snapped at me. I was a little taken aback because I was expecting him to deny it, but he hadn't.

"Calm down, I'm not judging," I muttered. He was acting so hostile. I don't think he's quite over the whole me and Vic thing yet.

"Then what do you want?" he asked.

"Well...I'm just looking out for Tay here. Her and Alex were together for a long time. Give her time to heal before you go working your charms," I said. He didn't even say anything. He just picked up his pace and dropped the entire conversation. I so didn't even care if he was mad at me or not anymore. It was just exhausting keeping up with everyone's moods. I just sighed and went off to my next class.

—-

Later that afternoon after my last class I made my way to Vic's office like I had many times before. With a smile on my face I happily knocked on his door and waited for the "come in" before I let myself in. I saw him there, sitting at his desk like usual. He dropped his pen and leaned back in his chair. I shut and locked the door securely.

"I'm so glad you could make it," Vic said professionally. I rolled my eyes and went over to my usual chair and sat down.

"It's good to be here," I said in an equally formal manner. Silence passed between us. I wondered if there was a specific reason he wanted me here this afternoon. I sent him a playful smile, just waiting for him to talk. He leaned forward then stood up and came around to me. He stood in front of me and leaned against the desk with his arms crossed. He looked down at me like he was disappointed, but at the same time he wasn't that serious. My eyes flicked down to his jeans, then pack up, a devilish smile forming on my lips.

"You could have just asked for a blow job. There's no need to stand right in front of me," I teased and poked my tongue out at him cheekily. He shook his head and ignored the comment.

"Kellin, you're failing biology," he said. How did I not guess he'd mention this? I groaned and stood up so I was level with him.

"I know. You don't need to remind me," I whined. I tugged on the ends of his shirt and moved closer.

"I think I do. I don't want you failing my class. I thought you were going to try harder," he said. I looked at him, pouting.

"I'm sorry," I said in the sweetest possible voice I could. I slid my hands around to his hips and pressed my body against his. I looked into his deep brown eyes as my nose lightly touched his.

"Forgive me?" I whispered and kissed him. Slowly I felt him relax next to me. He dropped his arms and straight away took my hands. He held them, lacing our fingers together as his lips moved with mine.

"Mm, no," he mumbled against my lips, "Really, you need to study more,"

"I don't want to," I said, kissing him again to shut him up. I slipped my tongue in his mouth, sliding it against his. He let go of my hands and wrapped his arms around me. This was so perfect. I could probably make out with him for hours. Every kiss had so much feeling in it. There was never a boring moment. Unfortunately my plan on making out with him for hours was interrupted with a knock on the door. He pulled back groaning.

"I guess someone's ruining our fun," he said quietly. I nodded and pecked his lips before moving away and sitting back down. Whoever it was better get out of here quickly so I can have Vic all to myself again. He straightened himself up a bit then went over to the door. When he opened it I was surprised by the shrill voice I heard.

"You!" My mother's voice shouted. My eyes widened, horribly embarrassed that she was even here. What the hell was she doing? I looked over at the door and my mom who had been glaring at Vic looked at me.

"Of course you're here too," she spat at me and looked back at Vic, "You get away from my son!"

What the hell was going on? I stood up, looking at her like she was absolutely insane. When I was up I got a better look at the door and saw Principal Holland and a police officer. Oh fuck. This can't be good. Vic looked at me with fear in his eyes but said nothing.

"Okay, let's all just calm down for a moment until we sort this out," Principal Holland said. He walked into the room, followed by my mother and the police officer. The officer, who I distinctly remembered as Officer Elmakias since I've had my fair share of run-ins with the cops, shut the door behind them. Vic looked stunned, like he had no clue what to do or say, so I spoke instead.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, feigning stupidity. I wasn't stupid. I don't know how my mom found out, but it was obvious she somehow knew about Vic and I. I felt sick to my stomach. My face was flushed. Everything just felt wrong. My mom was holding a piece of paper and practically shoved it in my face.

"Care to explain this?" she asked. I looked at the paper and saw why she was so angry. It was a picture I drew of Vic when I woke up before him one morning. He was lying in bed with no clothes on; nothing but a sheet was covering his middle. "Oh my God, did you go through my things?" I shouted angrily. That nosy fucking bitch.

"I had to. You've been lying to me for a while now," she said defensively

"I haven't been lying to you," I, well, lied. I could not believe this was happening.

"Okay calm down," Principal Holland said and turned to me, "Kellin, your mom believes you're in a relationship with your teacher, Mr. Fuentes."

"Are you in a relationship with him?" Officer Elmakias finally spoke. I looked at them both like they were crazy. Vic was still in silence. He looked so scared. I was going to have to do a lot to get out of this one.

"Why? Because I drew a picture? I'm suddenly in a relationship because I like art and drew a stupid picture?" I asked like they were all insane.

"A picture of him naked," My mom scolded.

"I'm a hormonal teenage boy with a wild imagination," I said.

"Why him though?" My mom said angrily, pointing at Vic.

"Because I have a dumb crush on him, okay? Are you happy now?" I asked. I was starting to get flustered with all this lying. Looking at Vic I realized he really didn't do well with pressure put on him. I would have killed to know what was going on in his head.

"I don't believe you," she said.

"I don't give a fuck," I snapped. Officer Elmakias stepped forward, stopping this argument.

"Stop, stop arguing. Kellin, give me your phone," he said.

"What, no," I said.

"As of right now, that phone is evidence and withholding it could get you arrested, now give it to me," he said firmly.

"No. Get a search warrant," I said. I had texts on my phone from Vic. None of them were too incriminating in the sense of sexual activities, but if you read them it was obvious we were in a relationship.

"Mr. Fuentes, your phone, please?" Elmakias asked, turning to Vic. God damn it. Vic was too freaked out to lie. He gave me this look like he was sorry then handed over his phone. Officer Elmakias took it and went through it. After a moment my mom spoke up.

"Well,is it true?" she asked Elmakias. He looked up, giving a simple nod. I couldn't believe this was happening. My mind raced to come up with some sort of explanation, but the evidence was right there in the palm of officer Elmakias' hand. We had been caught.

Chapter Text

My mind was racing a million miles an hour. There was no way to deny that Vic and I were in a relationship. The text messages spoke for themselves. I was sure the last one I sent was one saying I loved him and he replied saying he loved me too. There was nothing I could do to make the situation go away, so now I was solely focused on Vic not going to jail and I'd have to lie to make sure that doesn't happen.

"So what? They're just texts. That's all this ever was," I told them.

"Kellin, you're going to have to stay quiet until we separate you both and take you down to the station," Officer Elmakias said, but I wouldn't stay quiet. Vic and I needed to have the same story.

"The station? Why? We didn't do anything wrong. I came onto him and he rejected me," Elmakias made a move to tell me to shut up but I continued on so Vic would know what he had to tell the police, "He rejected me, but then we fell for each other but he never touched me, not once. We were going to wait until high school was over, right, Vic?"

I looked directly at Vic who looked like he was about to be sick, but he nodded quickly. He glanced at me, worry filling his eyes, before looking around at the others. He was yet to say a word.

"That's enough. Mr. Fuentes, I need you to cooperate and come with me down to the station," Elmakias said to Vic, and Vic nodded again. He was the adult in this situation. He was going to try and be responsible, leaving me to be the one who gets irrational and has emotional outbursts, and I could feel a big one coming on.

"I'll need you to bring Kellin down to the station straight away," Elmakias said to my mom, to which she just nodded. She looked at me like I was the worst kid in the world but I refused to feel guilty. I was so mad at her. I fumed in silence as Vic was led from the building. I didn't want to start speaking because once I started I probably won't be able to contain myself and I couldn't let the truth slip out in front of Principal Holland. Part of me was being so rational and the other part wanted to tear everyone's fucking heads off. I knew it was by medication keeping my emotions stable right now.

"I'm sorry this has happened right under my nose," Principal Holland said to my mom. I scoffed and shook my head.

"Nothing happened," I said through gritted teeth and before I said anything else I stormed past the both of them. I was heading to the parking lot so my mom could take me to the police station. I didn't want to go anywhere with her but I have to be there for Vic.

He's going to hate me, I know he is. It was my fault that we got in a relationship. It was my fault that we had gotten caught. I couldn't believe I was stupid enough to leave that fucking drawing just lying around, only it wasn't just lying around. I had it tucked in a notebook in the bottom drawer of my desk where I thought no one would ever see it. When I got to the car I spun around and saw my mom had caught up to me.

"You're a nosy fucking bitch! You know that right?" I yelled at her.

"Don't talk to me like that, Kellin!" she whisper-yelled. There were a few students still in the parking lot and the last thing I wanted was to make a scene, so when my mom unlocked the car doors I got in and slammed the door shut. She got in too and that's when the yelling started.

"How could you do this to me!?" I shouted, "Why wouldn't you come to me first? Do you know how much you could fuck up Vic's life!?"

"He's breaking the law! He's taking advantage of you. It isn't right!" she shouted right back as she started the car and pulled out of the lot.

"You don't get it. Who cares if he's my teacher? I love him and you ruined everything! Don't you get that? There's not much in my life I can be happy about but he makes me happy and you took it all away from me," I said. I was close to tears. This whole situation was all too much.

"He's done the wrong thing," she reiterated.

"Who is to say what's right and wrong?! I'm 17. I'm not a child! And he's only 22. It's not that big of a deal! I just can't believe you didn't talk to me first. You went straight to the police. What the hell is wrong with you? Is it your goal in life to leave me with nothing?" I cried, and I mean literally cried. I was so frustrated and scared for Vic that it was really getting to me.

"You don't have nothing. You might not see it now but I'm doing this because I care about you. You still have me and Rob. We're on your side here," she said.

"That's bullshit! You're on your own side. You don't care about me. You never have," I snapped.

"Kellin, don't sa-"

"No, shut up. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You ruined everything!" I screamed. I was breathing heavily as the inside of the car fell into a silence. She didn't have a response for me, which was good because I didn't want to even look at her right now. Most teenagers say that their parents ruined their lives, and most times they're over-reacting, but right now I could truly say she has ruined my life. If Vic gets into trouble then she's ruined everything.

We couldn't get to the police station quick enough. I got out of the car, not bothering to wait for my mom, and rushed into the building. I saw Officer Elmakias standing by the front desk, and even though he had just arrested my boyfriend, I knew he was kind of cool for a cop, so I went up to him.

"Where is he? Can I talk to him?" I asked.

"I'm sorry but you can't see him. He's getting interviewed," he said.

"You mean interrogated?" I snapped bitterly.

"Yes, if that's what you want to call it. We're getting his side of the story, then you'll go in and give your statement. Until then, sit down and be patient," he said and pointed to some chairs. I sighed in aggravation and sat down. My mom joined me shortly after, but sat as far away from me as possible which was a good move on her part.

The wait was killing me. I didn't want to think of how terrified Vic would be in the interrogation room. I knew how much he wanted to avoid this. He was always so scared and cautious about it. I told him that it wouldn't happen, yet here we were. My promise was broken.

Eventually though I saw him being taken from a room. I wanted to run over and hug him, but with various police men around it wouldn't help our case at all, so I stayed put. He didn't even look at me. He just looked sad as they led him down the hall to another room.

"Kellin, come with us," A new police officer said. He also gestured for my mom to come with us too. I recognized him from various visits I've had here but I couldn't remember his name. I got up from my chair and followed him into a room which just had a table in the middle of it and two chairs on either side.

"Take a seat," he said and pointed to two of the chairs. I begrudgingly sat in the chair and folded my arms across my chest defensively. My mom sat next to me. If I had it my way she wouldn't be in here, but I'm a minor so I guess she has to be. The officer had a tape recorder there which he pressed a few buttons on. I was highly aware that anything I said in here could be used against me later.

"I'm officer Flyzik. I'm going to be asking you some questions about your teacher, Victor Fuentes," he explained.

"There's really not much to tell, but fine, go ahead," I said bitterly.

"Right. So, you and Mr. Fuentes are in a relationship, correct?" he asked.

"Barely," I said.

"Don't lie, Kellin," My mom said, but Flyzik held his hand up to silence her.

"Please do not interrupt again," he said bluntly. I smirked. Maybe this guy isn't that bad after all. He turned his attention back to me.

"What do you mean by barely?" he asked.

"Well I mean, we're barely in a relationship. We do nothing but talk. We're waiting until I graduate," I explained, but it was of course a total lie. I just hoped that Vic lied too.

"Let's back up a little. Tell me the entire story of you and Mr. Fuentes, starting from day one," he said. I sighed and sat forward, leaning my arms on the table.

"Fine. When I first met him, I flirted with him a lot. That's what I do. Ask any teacher in the entire school. But then I started to get feelings for him so I kept pursuing him. He kept rejecting me, but in the end he developed feelings for me too. We knew we couldn't actually be together so we kept it to talking and texting until I turned 18," I explained.

Officer Flyzik sat there, nodding slowly while I talked.

"Did you and Mr. Fuentes ever engage in any type of sexual activity?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Mr. Quinn, I know you don't want him to get into any trouble, but it is imperative you tell the truth in here. It's an offense to lie to the police. You could get into a whole lot of trouble So, give me the truth. Did you two do anything sexual?" he asked. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to scare me into saying yes.

"No, we did not," I reiterated.

"Mr. Fuentes said you did though," he said. At first I was surprised, but then I realized he might be lying to get me to confess. Vic wasn't stupid enough to admit to that.

"Why would he do that? He's never touched me like that before," I said, making myself sound utterly confused. Officer Flyzik chuckled.

"He didn't say that. I was testing you," he said. Just like I thought. Flyzik lean over and turned the tape off.

"You two stay put, I need to go and discuss some things. I'll be back later," he said and stood up. I watched him as he left the room, leaving me there with my mom.

"Kellin, I swear if you're lying..." My mom trailed off.

"Seriously don't even fucking talk to me right now," I snapped.

"Please don't talk that way. I'm only doing this because I don't want some older man taking advantage of you. You might not see it now, but it is wrong," she said. I crossed my arms over my chest again and stewed in silence. I had nothing to say to her anymore.

We sat there for a long time and I was starting to get bored. I wanted to know what was happening out there. Did mine and Vic's stories match up? Or did he succumb to their interrogations and tell the truth? Had they arrested him? I don't know what I'd do if he ended up in jail. After maybe an hour or so, officer Flyzik came back holding some paperwork. He sat down across from us again and I gave him my full attention.

"Okay, so... this is a tricky situation. Both of your stories match up. You both claimed to have not had sexual relations with each other, but there is a high possibility that you could both be lying, and that's why this coming Monday I'll need you to appear in court," he explained.

"That's bullshit! We didn't do anything wrong!" I shouted.

"Calm down. Situations like these aren't taken lightly. There needs to be further investigations. The whole case needs to be brought to a judge so he or she can deliver a final ruling. Until then though, you aren't to see Mr. Fuentes. He's been let out of custody, but has been given specific orders to stay away from you, and from this point on it is illegal for you to be within 100 feet of each other," he explained. I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe any of it. It felt so surreal that any of this was happening.

"This is complete bullshit," I muttered. Officer Flyzik didn't respond to my comment. He just handed my mom the papers he had, telling her they gave her all the information we needed, and then I was let go.

I saw no sign of Vic anywhere as I left the station, but I had to see him. I didn't care about whatever restraining order we had against each other. I simply had to see him, and that's why later that night when my parents were fast asleep, I snuck out. I couldn't stay away. My phone had been confiscated at the police station as evidence, so I guessed his had as well, so we had no way of communicating. No one will even know that I'm here.

Like I had done many times before, I snuck around to his bedroom window. Looking inside I saw the light on, but he wasn't in there. I decided to let myself in and wait for him to come in. I slid the window open, climbed through, then closed it. Almost straight away Vic opened the bedroom door and walked in. His eyes fell on me. "I thought I heard the window," he said.

"Yeah, I had to come and see you," I said quietly. He shut his bedroom door, but didn't make a move towards me. The entire atmosphere was awkward.

"You shouldn't be here at all," he said.

"Well I am, so..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say, so I figured an apology might be a good place to start, "I'm so sorry that we got caught."

He sighed and shook his head, "It's not your fault. It takes two to tango, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I just can't believe this happened like this," I said. He finally made some steps towards me, but then stopped at his bed and sat down with his head in his hands.

"I'm going to go to jail," he said.

"No," I protested. I went over to him and dropped to my knees. I took his hands away from his face and held them. He looked at me with big, brown, sorrowful eyes.

"You listen to me, Victor Fuentes. You're not going to jail," I said defiantly.

"But-"

"No buts. We need to get our story straight. The police officer told me that our stories matched up. We just need to keep it simple. We tell them the truth, that we have feelings for each other, but we leave out any details of doing anything sexual together. They have no proof, Vic. They can't send you to jail when they have no proof," I said desperately. He didn't look as hopeful as I was.

"We just need to lie. No matter what, you have to lie, okay?" I asked. He nodded slowly.

"And Mike, how's he taking this?" I asked.

"He's pissed off, mainly at you, so I wouldn't go anywhere near him," he answered.

"Okay. They'll probably call him to the stand too, but you need to make sure he lies too. Hell, get him to say he never even knew about us," I said, and once again he nodded in understanding. He just looked so sad though.

"It's gonna be okay," I said. I went to hug him, but he pulled back.

"You should go," he said.

"I don't want to."

"Go," he said firmly.

I was hurt by his rejection, but could I really blame him? I'd probably hate me too. I seduced him. I started everything. It was entirely my fault. If he's like this now then he'll probably be ten times worse if he gets charged with anything. I nodded solemnly and let go of his hands. I didn't say a word as I stood up and went over to the window. Before I could even open it again, there was a hand clutched around my wrist. I turned back to look at Vic. He looked apologetic before he pulled me into a tight hug.

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling comforted by his body against mine. How could this be so illegal? I felt so right when I was with him. I couldn't let him get taken away from me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be," I said. We stood there for a long time, because who knows when we'd get a chance to simply hug each other again. I was still optimistic though. They can't take him away from me. He pulled back a little, but only so he could press his lips against mine.

"I love you," he whispered when he pulled away.

"I know, I love you too. We're gonna be fine, okay?" I questioned. He hesitated, but then nodded.

"You need to go. I'll see you...when I see you," he said, sounding completely helpless.

"Yeah, see you," I said. One last kiss on the lips, and I was made to leave, not knowing when I'd be able to speak to him again.

Chapter Text

I stared longingly at Vic from across the long, wide hallway. Despite how serious this entire situation was, I couldn't help but take a second to notice how attractive he looked in a suit. The dark materials hugged his body well and made him look quite professional and sophisticated. Of course, he needed to give off a good impression to the Judge and jury.

It was almost time for sentencing. The trial was quick. Vic had to give his statements first. He stuck to what I told him to say. He said that he tried to reject me over and over, but then he gave in, although nothing sexual happened. I couldn't tell if the Judge believed him or not. The woman had such a steely look about her. She didn't let off any type of emotion towards the case. I, of course, backed Vic's story up completely, sticking to the lie that nothing sexual ever happened.

The worst part about the whole thing was watching Vic. He looked hurt, beaten down and scared. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him that everything would be okay in the end, but I couldn't. I had to behave. I couldn't make a scene. I hadn't seen him since that night right after we were at the police station together. I wanted to go and see him again but Mike cornered me the next day and told me, in a less than nice way, that I needed to stay away because it was for the best. Not seeing Vic killed me. He was suspended from his job until the hearing so I didn't even get to see him at school.

What happened with Vic and I became the hot topic at school. Wild rumors just flew out of control and I tried my best to tell everyone that they were wrong, but they wouldn't listen, everyone was, to my horror, saying that Vic was a pedophile. It hurt to hear those things. They were all wrong. Vic isn't some kind of creep. I just hoped that Vic stayed at home for the remainder of the week and didn't get to hear the comments.

I felt emotionally drained today. A lawyer, or I think he was a lawyer, completely drilled me on the stand. He tried to get me to admit the truth and he just wouldn't back down. I stood my ground though and eventually the judge made him stop. Mike had to go on the stand too, so did Tay, Alex and Oli because my mom told the court they were my friends and might know more, but all four of them claimed to have no idea about the whole thing. Tay and Mike had thankfully lied for us. Now this wait was taking a long time. The last thing the judge wanted before we were let out was to talk to Principal Holland and then they disappeared into a back room together, as did the jury who would decide Vic's fate. I really hoped this didn't take too long. With my eyes still glued on Vic I could see how stressed he was. Mike was with him, only Mike. Mike was his only support.

"I'm proud of how you handled yourself in there, Kellin," My mom said from my side. I shot her a glare. I didn't want to communicate with her. She was the reason we were standing outside the courtroom. She was the reason I might not be able to be with Vic again. I looked back over at the man I loved only to see he wasn't there anymore. My eyes scanned the hall. Where could he be? I wanted to find out. This might be my only chance to talk to him in a long time.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I told my mom and stepdad, Rob. I didn't even look at them or wait for a reply.

I walked off to the set of stairs that led to the first floor where I knew the bathrooms were. Once I was out of my parent's sight I quickened my pace. I got to the foyer and looked around desperately, then I saw a wisp of brown locks disappear into the men's bathroom. I jogged towards the bathroom and opened the door. Standing there with his hands on counter, looking into the mirror, was Vic.

"Hey," I got his attention. He didn't look at me though. He just lowered his head.

"You shouldn't be in here with me," he said.

"Well I am, so deal with it," I said and moved closer. He didn't move away. I just wanted to make everything better again. I placed my hand over his and he slowly turned his head to look at me. Just as quickly as his eyes fell on me, they fell away.

"They're going to put me in jail, aren't they?" he questioned.

"No, Vic, no," I said defiantly, "That's not going to happen. You know they have no evidence that something actually happened."

"It doesn't matter. I'm going to get into a lot of trouble. Things won't ever be the same," he said, and deep down I knew that was the truth. We'd probably never go back to how we once were.

"Think positively, at least for now. Things might be bad now but it'll all blow over eventually," I said. He looked at me again.

"God I missed you," he sighed. I smiled lightly.

"Yeah, I missed you too," I said, and all I wanted to do was kiss him, and I would have too but then the door opened. Vic and I practically leapt apart from each other, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, only to slow down when I saw it was Mike. He shot a glare my way and I could tell he wanted to yell at me, but he bit his tongue, probably for Vic's sake.

"They're calling us back in," Mike said bluntly then disappeared from the bathroom. I looked at Vic. My heart clenched in my chest knowing that this could be the last time I talk to him for a very long time.

"You should go up first. I'll wait a minute," I said.

"Good idea," he said and pushed away from the counter, except I wouldn't let him leave just yet. I stepped forward, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him. A tear escaped. I was just so scared. No matter how much I was trying to keep myself together, I was terrified of the outcome of today. Vic pulled back, looking at me. He wiped the few tears away with his thumbs, kissed my forehead, then reluctantly left the bathroom.

I sighed deeply and pulled myself together before I went back out there. Every step closer felt like I was walking towards dooms day or something. Even if Vic doesn't get sent to jail, I knew there would still be consequences. My mom and Rob were waiting for me when I got back up there. I ignored them and walked straight past and into the court room. There weren't very many people in here. My friends were, plus of course Vic, his court appointed lawyer and Principal Holland were as well. There were other random members of the public too who just wanted to see the case, some police, journalists and the jury. I scowled at the journalists. The thought of this being on the news or in papers made me feel sick. I didn't want Vic to be exploited.

I took my place, on the opposite side of the room to Vic. I looked at him, and he glanced back, before someone told us to rise for the judge. We were already standing though. The lady, who must have been around fifty years old, and had short brown hair, came back in through the back room and took her seat. Everyone was then left to sit down, but Vic, myself, Vic's lawyer and my parents stayed standing.

"I don't see any point in delaying the case any longer. Jury, please tell us your verdict," The Judge said. I felt like I couldn't breathe. This was all happening extremely fast. I was expecting more talking or something and to be slowly eased into the verdict, but when one of the jurors rose, this all became way too real. This was it. I looked at the man he stood. He looked out at the rest of the courtroom.

"On the charges of having sexual intercourse with a student, we find Victor Fuentes," the man paused, causing so much tension and anxiety in the room, before finally uttering the two words I was dying to hear, "Not guilty,"

Chatter erupted around the court room and I finally felt like I could breathe again properly. Vic wasn't going to jail. He wasn't going to be locked up! He had his freedom! I looked at him, smiling. He and Mike were in a tight embrace. I couldn't believe it. Sure, I had been trying to be positive about all of this, but part of me thought he'd go to jail, and now he was found not guilty. I was so relieved for him.

The judged banged his gavel to get our attention. Looking forward I wondered what else had to be said. I had completely ignored my mom and Rob's reactions, but after a quick glance I saw they were less than impressed.

"We're not quite done here yet," The judge spoke. I gave a wary look at Vic who was focused solely on the judge as she continued, "As everyone in this room has heard, this is quite the complicated case. Although there was no evidence that sexual activity occurred between the two of you, it is quite clear that an inappropriate relationship was ensued."

I swallowed hard, feeling nervous all over again. Where was she going with this? Vic wasn't guilty, so he should be let go, right?

"I can't let this go by without any consequences. Therefore, there will be sentencing. Victor Fuentes, the restraining order that you've been under for the past week will still be enforced. You must not go within 100 feet of Mr. Quinn until he is eighteen years of age. Nor will you be able to call, text or have any means of communication with him. If these terms are violated you risk major fines and possibly incarceration," she said.

Vic and I looked at each other. That sentencing, although not the worst thing that could happen, still sucked a lot. It was November now and I don't turn eighteen until April. It doesn't seem like it'll be a long time without him, but it will be. A lot of things can change in those five months. I looked back at the judge as she continued talking.

"Next, although the court does not see you responsible enough to raise a seventeen year old, we see no point in separating you and your brother Mike Fuentes', seeing as he turns eighteen next month. And finally, after discussion with Mr. Holland, from this point on, you would no longer be able to teach at-"

"What?!" I shouted loudly, interrupting the Judge, "He was found not guilty! You can't destroy his life like this!"

"Kellin, stop," My mom scolded me. I ignored her and glared daggers at the judge.

"The decision for Mr. Fuentes being fired was not mine. This comes from Principal Holland. He has every right to fire someone if they conduct themselves in the way that Mr. Fuentes has. This case is now closed," The judge said and banged her gavel once more. She stood and swiftly marched off the stand and back into the back room.

I looked at Vic with sorrowful eyes and he looked back. I can't go near him? I can't talk to him? How am I supposed to stay away from him? My head was telling me that I had to stay away, but I really didn't want to. I just needed to talk to him, even if it is only one more time. I couldn't right now though. Police were everywhere and one of them escorted Vic from the room. This can't be the last time I see him. It just can't be.

—-

I couldn't stay away, it just wasn't in my nature. I was stupid to think that I would have obeyed the law and kept my distance from him. Maybe I would accept the restraining order after I talk to him, but I couldn't just stop talking to him for five months without some sort of a goodbye. I found myself knocking at his window later that night to get his attention. He had been lying in bed but got up quickly as if he hadn't been sleeping. I doubt he would have been after the day we had. Vic is an over-thinker. This would have kept him up all night. He scurried over to me and opened the window.

"Don't even tell me I shouldn't be here. I had to see you," I said and climbed through the window. He didn't say it though. He just helped me through the window and in a second his arms were tightly wrapped around me. I relaxed in his arms and held him back.

I had no idea how all of this was going to work. How could we have a relationship when we can't see each other for five months? The answer was simple; we couldn't. As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, we couldn't do this. I wanted to, but there was so much standing in the way.

Eventually I pulled back and looked at Vic's face. It looked like he had been crying. I held my cool hands against his warm face.

"You've been crying," I whispered. He held my hand and brought it to his lips to kiss.

"Don't worry about me. I'm okay," he said. I shook my head slowly.

"No you aren't, and I'm not either. Nothing about this is okay," I said. He pulled away and nodded.

"I know," he sighed, then sat on his bed. I went and sat next to him, facing him.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked timidly, afraid of the answer. I felt like things were about to end with us, and that tore my heart apart, but I felt like that's just how things had to be for now. I didn't want to do it though. I wanted to hang onto the hope that everything would be okay, even though it was so clear it wasn't. Thankfully for me, Vic did the hard part.

"This isn't going to work between us," he said, and even though I was expecting it, it still hurt and almost instantly I started crying. It was horrible to hear. The worst thing about break-ups is that in your head you have this entire life planned out. You imagine being with the other person forever. You imagine your lives together and then it just disappears so quickly. You no longer have that comfort and security anymore. The realization hits you that you're on your own and you'll probably never find someone like them ever again.

"I'm sorry," he said and I shook my head quickly, wiping away my tears.

"Don't be. I-It's okay, really, I get it," I said. He reached for my hand and held it tightly.

"Maybe we can make it work," I said hopefully, "I mean, it's just five months. We can get back together after,"

Looking at Vic I saw him shake his head. His eyes were filled with apologies.

"Five months is a long time to be apart from someone and never talk to them. We could change. Feelings could change. Don't get me wrong, I do love you, but things do change. We would drift apart and then by the time you're eighteen things wouldn't be the same," he explained.

"But they might be," I said, although I knew his words were the truth.

"Maybe...but even so, things will be so different. I hear the things that people say about me around town. If we got back together that'd just be so much worse. No one would be accepting. I just...I don't know anymore," he said quietly. I completely understood everything he was saying because I felt the same way. Everything was just too difficult. There were too many things standing in our way.

"So...this is it then?" I asked. He nodded slowly. My eyes glistened and my heart just wanted to give up on me.

"But I love you," I whined. He turned towards me more, holding me close. I rested my head against his.

"I know, Kellin, I know. I love you too. Don't ever forget that," he said. He lightly caressed my cheek, then turned my face and pressed his lips against mine. I savored every second of this kiss because I felt like it would be our last one. This felt final. Sure, I still had that little spark left in me that hoped in the future we would get back together, and who knows, we might, but right now at this very second, it was over. I pulled back slowly. Vic looked so upset and I'm sure I did too.

"You need to promise me something," he said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Stay on your medication. No matter what, just please keep taking it, for me," he said. My medication? I actually hadn't taken it in a couple of days. With everything happening I kind of forgot. I could tell from Vic's voice and the way he looked at me that he really did care about my well-being, so I nodded.

"I promise," I said. He kissed my forehead lovingly, then stood up.

"You need to go now, Kellin," he said. I nodded again. Nothing else was said. There was nothing else to say. I left in complete silence and went home.

—-

The closer I got to home, the angrier I got. I was losing it. I had lost Vic and it was my mom's entire fault. The lights of the house were on when I got back. They had been off when I left. Everyone had been asleep, but now it was different. They were awake. I walked through the front door and sure enough my mom and step dad were in the living room, awake and waiting for me.

"You were with him, weren't you?" My mom asked accusingly.

"Fuck you," I spat and went to walk away.

"Come back here!" Rob roared. I stopped in my tracks, gritting my teeth. I wanted to walk away and I was going to keep going but I heard my mom say something that got my interest.

"We should tell him now," she said. Tell me what? I turned back and looked at her questioning.

"What?" I asked. My mom sighed and stood up. Rob stood by her side.

"We know you well, Kellin. We know you aren't going to abide by any laws, and we also know how out of control you can get when things don't go your way. We know we can't stop you from physically seeing Vic and we can't force you to keep up your medication. You can be a handful and we just want the best for you. With your medical condition and your disobedience we know we can't do this on our own," My mom explained. My eyes narrowed.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked. My mom looked at Rob nervously before continuing.

"Well, I've, or, we've been thinking about this for a while, and we've decided that we're going to send you away to a boy's home," she said.

"A what?" I shouted in confusion.

"A boy's home, or more a reform, uh, school," she said.

"What, like Juvie?" I scoffed.

"Not quite. This isn't a jail, it's just a home for troubled boys," she said. I couldn't believe this.

"I'm not going to some fucking home," I snapped.

"But you are, Kellin. I've spoken to the police about it. I've gotten all the forms and filled them out. While you are a minor you will be forced to do this. I'm sorry that you might not see that this is for your benefit, but it is," she said.

I saw nothing but red. First she takes Vic away from me and now she's going to take me away from my life? My friends? She's taken everything away from me and claims to be helping me, but this wasn't helping at all. My anger over took me and I lashed out at her. I yelled, I screamed, I broke things. Rob held me back and I punched him, but he still kept me away from my mother.

The neighbors heard the commotion and called the cops on us. Everything was a blur after that. I was taken down to the station and my mom's little plan came into action. I was shipped away to the boy's home the very next morning without a single word to my friends or to Vic. I was just sent away with no means of communication. I was left alone, abandoned by my parents at this fucking institution for troubled boys.

In the end this was probably where I belonged. I had done the wrong thing. I seduced Vic. I tempted him. I wouldn't take no for an answer. This was on me and that's why I should be here, to learn from my mistakes. But I wouldn't learn, would I? I'd just be pissed off and hating the world for its copious amount of rules that meant I couldn't be with the person I loved. The hatred faded though and was replaced with loneliness when he never came to visit me. He wasn't allowed to when I was seventeen, but then I turned eighteen, and he still didn't show. I couldn't expect him to, could I? We were broken up. He had no obligation to me. He didn't have to come and see me. I heard that he had moved away.

I was heartbroken, but I did what I always had done. I picked myself up and dusted myself off. I got over it. I moved on. I realized that that was life. Things don't work out, no matter how much you wanted them to, but you had to just keep on going on. I was a mess. I was broken. But I was smiling at the world around me. I was hurt. I was happy. I was fake. Things happen. That was okay. I deserved everything.