Sammy gripped his mug tightly, his leg bouncing a bit from nerves as he tried to will himself to speak.
“Sammy? You okay?” Henry asked, startling him out of his slight daze.
“Yeah. I’m okay, Henry, just nervous. You know how I am about opening up to others.”
The former animator nodded, taking a sip of his coffee as he settled back into waiting.
The musician had asked him to come over to talk about something important regarding his recovery. He had been doing incredibly well in the two months since he had been released from the mental health facility, by now having almost completely adjusted back to a normal life with Susie by his side every moment she was able to be. Henry was proud of him. It had only taken four months for the doctors to declare Sammy well enough to go home, even though they, both his former coworkers and the medical professionals treating him, had all expected things to take almost a year to get anywhere close to being himself again, but it had turned out that most of the damage was from the ink that had corrupted him. The more that left his body, the better he got. It had all finally been flushed out about a week before he was released.
But, today, that wasn’t what he wanted to talk to Henry about, and despite the fact that the man was waiting patiently with no intentions of trying to rush or pressure him into talking, Sammy was annoyed with himself for hesitating.
“During my last appointment with my therapist, I mentioned that I felt guilty for trying to sacrifice you, then later chop your head off with an ax. We talked about it, and she told me that therapy can only do so much to fix it. She recommended I talk to you about it so we can work something out to get rid of my guilt. Apparently, it’s more effective to work out what you need to do to fix what you did with whoever could be considered the victim. So, here we are.”
Henry nodded and sighed.
“Sammy, if you’re worried about having my forgiveness, you had it six months ago before I faced and saved Bendy.”
“I know. But your forgiveness isn’t the problem, mine is. I haven’t been able to forgive myself for any of it.”
Henry frowned, his look softening into his sad-and-very-concerned-dad look.
He leaned forward and placed his hand on the musicians' knee. He wanted nothing more than to hug him, but he knew Sammy wasn’t really a fan of physical affection like that except from a few select people.
Sammy looked at him a bit sheepishly. He felt tongue-tied again and just took a gulp of his mocha.
“Well, since you need to work it out with me, what do think would even the playing field, so to speak?”
“Oh, nothing really, just you doing to me exactly what I did to you so we’re even.”
Henry snorted a bit in laughter, unable to control himself and giving in to the urge to laugh.
“Glad to see you’ve still got some snark in you!”
The man smiled slightly. How could he not? Henry’s laugh was contagious, he just wasn’t really in the mindset to let himself be infected.
“Of course I do. I’ve got several years worth built up, I’ve just been too tired to use it. That and Ms. Warrick scolds me if I speak like that during our sessions. So does Mr. Hope.”
The former animator chuckled.
“Serves you right.” “Absolutely does.”
The two sat in the now-comfortable silence for a few minutes, sipping their drinks and finally starting to relax. Sammy was honestly glad to have the company. Susie had been able to get just over a months leave from work so she could help him adjust, and despite that she had been working again (though at reduced hours for his sake) for almost a month now, he got lonely. He wasn’t used to being alone for extended periods of time anymore, he hadn’t been alone for more than three hours at a time since he was rescued until his girlfriend had returned to work.
Finally, he let out an audible sigh and ran his hand through his hair.
“I can’t think of anything, Henry. When I try to think of what makes me feel better when I’ve been feeling guilty, the only thing that comes to mind is a few moments from my youth.”
Henry quirked an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. He blushed ever so slightly and awkwardly cleared his throat.
“Er, I don’t think they’re actually helpful. My father tanned my hide a few times when I screwed up, and some of those I’m remembering were when I felt awful about what I had done, which he either didn’t know had happened or he had no idea I was involved in, and fessed up even though I knew I would get in trouble. Those times, despite the fact my ass felt like it was on fire, I did feel better because I did the right thing.”
His companion nodded.
“I think most people from our generation have similar memories, to be honest. I know I’ve got two or three buried in here somewhere!” He said, tapping his head with a light chuckle.
Sammy just nodded, leaning his head back and closing his eyes to try to think.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make those memories go away. When he tried to think of something to relieve his guilt, one of those memories popped up. He’d get rid of it and try again, only to get the same result each and every time.
After ten minutes, it hit him. He realized what was going on and he internally groaned.
“Of fucking course that’s why I keep thinking of that. Absolutely fucking perfect.”
He spent a few more seconds mentally yelling at himself before sighing and looking at Henry.
“I think I have an idea figured out...” “Really? What is it?”
Sammy bit his lip and looked away.
“You’re not going to like it. I don’t even like it, but...”
He took a deep breath.
“I think I need you to, er, punish me.”
Henry nearly choked on his coffee, quickly setting the mug on the table and coughing hard.
Sammy flinched a bit and set his own drink down.
“No need to yell, Henry. I’m not exactly happy about the realization, myself, but hear me out. You’re obviously not going to try to kill me twice like I did to you. The only thing I knew of that would ease any guilt I had was to apologize and try to make up for whatever I was apologizing for, and have my apology accepted. You accepted my apology before I even gave it, and you said I could make it up to you by focusing on my recovery. I’ve done that yet the guilt remains. Trying to think of something else that works is only bringing those memories of me confessing my wrongdoings to my father and facing punishment to mind. That’s all that’s happened in the, what, about ten minutes? That I was trying to think of another solution during. Even you have consequences for your actions, though that’s usually just being griped at by Linda. I haven’t had any.”
Henry just looked at him for a solid two minutes before he spoke.
“I...I see your point, but...Punishment? You want me to do what your father did? Sammy, I barely spanked my own son! I could count the number of times I did on my hands! And it was only serious once, which practically tore my heart into shreds!”
The musician looked down at his lap, feeling his face start to heat up a bit.
“I know, Henry. You’re one of the most kind-hearted men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I’m not keen on it for obvious reasons, and I’m not going to ask you to do it if you don’t want to. I was just telling you what I had come up with.”
The older man ran his hands down his face and took a few deep breaths.
“It’s just a bit of a surprise, I wasn’t expecting it. If that is what you honestly feel that you need me to do to be able to forgive yourself, I’m willing to try. But a few conditions.”
The musician nodded. “Yes?”
“One, you have to swear to me that if I start going too far and you can’t take it, you’ll tell me so I can stop. I don’t want to actually hurt you.”
“Two, you have to tell me when you’ve had enough to ease your conscience. Only you can gauge that since I’m unfortunately not an empath and can’t feel your emotions.”
“Good. And, last one, I’ll need a little more detail on how your father handled this. I’m not sure if our fathers dished out in the same way or not, but mine was, in a way, gentle about it.”
He felt his face heat up even more and shifted uncomfortably.
“W-Well...He’d put me over his lap and hold me in place if he was just using his hand, or a hairbrush on occasion. If he was going to use his belt, he’d either just grab onto my arm or he’d bend me over something and put his hand on my back to keep me down. Really depended on what I was getting it for. Either way, it always ended with me practically bawling my eyes out. I, uh, I kinda had the habit of struggling...A lot...Which is why he would physically have to make me stay in position, before you ask why I specified that part...”
Henry nodded. He closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath to steel himself for what he was going to do and take that moment to think about which path to take.
“Alright. Do you have any preference for what I use, or would you rather leave that up to me?”
He shook his head.
“It doesn’t really matter unless you intend for my pants to be down. In that case, I’d rather you not take your belt to my ass. It hurts more than enough fully clothed, thank you very much.”
The former animator chuckled a bit at that.
“I had every intention of letting you stay dressed. This is awkward enough as it is.” He forced himself to slip back into being more serious. “Should we do this out here, or...?”
“Here is fine. Just let me close the curtains first...One of the neighbors will be getting home any minute, and the crazy old bat has a thing for watching me through the window when Susie isn’t home, especially if I have a guest. She’s either not fond of me and just trying to find something to use to make my life miserable, or she’s into me and is being a stalker about it. Sometimes it’s actually funny when she’s caught doing it, she’ll fall off of the chair she has at her window and flail around dramatically.”
He let himself smile a bit at the thought as he got up from his end of the couch and moved to tug the curtains closed. While he did, Henry moved a bit closer to the middle of the couch and adjusted his position to be slightly sideways and closer to the edge.
Sammy turned around and stopped when he saw that Henry had moved.
“Are we good?”
He nodded a bit hesitantly.
“Alright. Come on, then, over my knee you go.”
The younger man hesitated slightly before walking over and letting his companion help guide him over his lap and adjust his position how he liked. Henry wrapped his arm firmly around the thin waist once the owner of it was in position.
“Are you ready, Sammy?” “As much as one can be for this, yes.”
Sammy had a second to take a breath before Henry’s large hand came down fairly hard, causing him to yelp a bit in surprise.
“Was that too hard?” “No! Just wasn’t prepared for it! I’m fine!”
Henry just gave a nod, though it couldn’t be seen, picking up a fast pace.
Sammy crossed his arms in front of him and laid his head on them, doing his best to remain still and quiet. It definitely hurt, but for the moment it wasn’t too bad. Not as much as when his father spanked him, but still painful.
After a full minute of this with no indication from the musician that he even noticed what was going on, Henry stopped.
“You okay, Sammy? From how you talked, I was fully expecting you to be squirming by now.”
“Yeah, just...Lord, this is awkward, but it really doesn’t hurt that bad. Being consumed by that tainted ink hurt worse.”
Henry’s hand suddenly came down much harder and the blond cried out, body jerking a bit.
He pursed his lips as tightly as he could and nodded quickly, letting out a slightly high pitched “Mhm!” before Henry resumed the spanking with the new amount of strength.
Now it hurt as much as his fathers' spankings.
It only took about thirty seconds for him to start shifting a bit, and after a minute in he began squirming.
Sammy bit his lip to try to stop himself from whimpering.
“You need this, Sammy! Be an adult and take it!”
Henry’s hand slapped his upper thighs, making him cry out and start squirming harder.
The older man tightened his hold a bit and landed a few more swats there before moving back to his bottom. He did his best to hold Sammy in place and spank at the same time, though it wasn’t easy by any means.
The only sounds heard throughout the small house were Sammy’s quiet grunts, groans, and whimpers, squeaks from the couch caused by his squirming, and the sound of Henry’s hand rhythmically striking the seat of his jeans.
The musician felt his eyes start to burn a bit. He whined almost silently and gripped the cushion firmly. Another swat landed on his thighs, to which he cried out and kicked his legs a bit. Henry just held him tighter.
“Sammy, try to be still. If you can’t, I’ll have to switch to using my belt!”
This made him whine louder and try to control himself, but his instincts were fighting him and winning, ending with him beginning to struggle in an attempt to get away.
“Nngh! Motherfucking god damned son of a-!”
Henry slapped his ass much harder than he had been spanking, grimacing at the volume of his cry of pain.
“Samuelito Lawrence! Watch your language! There’s no need for such profanity!”
Sammy blushed and tried to hide his face, feeling a bit ashamed of himself.
“Alright, since you won’t be still and seem to think it’s acceptable to swear at me like a sailor, you’re getting my belt.”
He whined as Henry stood him up, got up himself, tugged him over to the other side of the couch, and bent him over the arm of it enough to present his aching backside perfectly for what was to come next. He shuddered a bit as he heard the belt being unfastened, the leather sliding through the belt loops of the older mans' pants, and it being folded in half. He felt Henry place a hand on his lower back and swallowed hard.
“I-Is it too late to apologize for swearing and just finish this without the belt?” “Yup. Though I do accept your apology.”
Sammy damn near screamed when the belt suddenly cracked down hard across his ass, eyes watering all over again.
The leather struck at a rapid-fire pace, mostly aimed for his backside, though some went as far down as his mid-thighs. The younger man was kicking and thrashing around within thirty seconds, no longer able to keep silent. He cried out at every lick and felt a tear slide down his cheek.
Henry put a little more pressure on Sammy’s back to keep him bent over.
“I really hope we can wrap this up soon, my arm is getting tired.”
Three more strikes from the belt and Sammy broke. He started crying openly, his struggling easing a bit. It only took another ten seconds for the crying to progress to sobbing.
“AH! H-Henry! I’m-I’m sorry! Please! Plea-ease stop! I’m sorry!” he wailed.
His body went completely limp as the former animator stopped and replaced his belt. He just laid there, tears streaming down his face until Henry carefully helped him up. He immediately turned and hugged the older man tightly, clinging to him and sobbing into his chest.
Henry was surprised, to say the least, but he just silently returned the hug, started gently petting the mans' hair, and let him cry for a minute or two.
“Sssshhhh, it’s okay now, Sammy. It’s over, you made it through and I’m proud of you. Ssshhh...”
It took a few minutes, but Sammy did finally start calming down. He looked up at his companion, face soaked with tears.
Henry put a finger to his lips.
“I know, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize anymore, we’re both okay and that’s what matters.”
He hiccuped and nodded, trying to wipe at his eyes with one hand. The other man just gently pulled him back to his chest and started rubbing his back.
They stayed like that for another five minutes until Sammy was finally able to stop crying and pulled himself away. His eyes were red and a bit puffy, cheeks stained with tears and tinted pink, hair somewhat messy. He honestly looked pitiful, if Henry had to describe him at that moment.
“Wait here, buddy. I’ll be right back.”
Sammy just nodded as Henry walked down the hall. He grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and dampened it with warm water, then returned to the musician and started gently cleaning off his face. He whined a bit and tried to lean away.
“Henry, I’m an adult, I don’t need someone to wipe my face off for me...” he protested weakly.
The older man just chuckled and continued.
“Well, I can’t just leave you like this. You’re a mess and look pitiful. The Sammy Lawrence I know wouldn’t want to be seen like that. I did this exact thing for Nicky the one time I ever took my belt to him.”
Sammy pouted slightly and let him finish without complaint, knowing he was right. Had he gone and looked at himself in the mirror, he likely would’ve felt humiliated that he had allowed someone to see his face in that state.
“Th-Thanks, Henry...For everything...I do feel better...Emotionally, at least.”
The former animator smiled and pulled him into another hug.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help you. Though I don’t want this to become a regular thing.” “Neither do I, trust me...I’m likely not going to be able to sit down for at least two days.”
Henry laughed as he pulled away.
“Maybe I should tell Susie about this and see if she takes pity on you, she might like to play nurse for you.”
Sammy groaned and covered his face with his hands.
“Please don’t give her any ideas. She already makes me stand in a corner when I frustrate her or get on her nerves with my attitude, that’s more than enough humiliation for me.”
“Linda did that to me a few times. Mostly as a joke, though. But, as a tip, chilled lotion can really help speed up the recovery time.”
The blond gave a slight, barely noticeable smile and nodded.
“Thanks. I’ll remember that for later if the pain doesn’t ease up soon.”
As if to emphasize it, he rubbed his bottom a bit with one hand and winced.
“Ow. Okay, too soon for that.”
Henry pat him on the shoulder before they decided to reheat their drinks and continue chatting for a bit.
After about an hour, Sammy now able to sit (though not at all comfortably) and both of their mugs empty, Susie came home holding a small pet carrier.
“Oh! Henry! I didn’t know you’d be here! Has Sammy been a good host?”
The blond glared at her while Henry snickered.
“Yes, a very good one. I was actually just about to leave, I have two little munchkins to pick up from daycare so we can have the ‘Bestest Weekend Sleepover of Forever’, as Annie called it.”
He got up and stretched.
“I should probably make an appointment with my chiropractor for Monday. I’m getting too old to chase after two high energy kids. Well, one kid and one little ink demon.”
Susie giggled and gave him a hug before going to Sammy and kissing his cheek.
“Don’t be a stranger! Our new cat should be ready for visitors soon! She’s still a little skittish, I picked her up on the way home.”
Henry nodded and bid them both goodbye as he left, leaving the couple to themselves. Susie set the carrier down on the floor and sat next to Sammy, pulling him into a hug and kissing his cheek again. He smiled a bit.
“Welcome home, Susie.” “Thank you~”
The musician shifted a bit and winced.
“You okay, hummingbird?”
His cheeks tinted pink and he looked away.
“Uh, well, emotionally, yes...I talked to Henry like Ms. Warrick wanted me to, and we worked out what it would take for me to forgive myself, which I have...”
“That’s good. But that means there’s a way you’re not okay, and I’d like to know what it is.”
Sammy’s blush darkened and he mumbled something under his breath.
“I said that he spanked me...”
Susie stared at him like he grew a second head.
“Henry did what?!” “Only because I asked! It was the only thing I could think of to make the guilt stop! I wasn’t happy about it, believe me. It still hurts...”
She continued staring for a few moments before sighing and pulling him against her chest.
“Oh, you goofball...Of course you’d want him to hurt you since you hurt him...”
He just let her hold him.
“He did give me a tip on making the pain go away faster...” “Which is...?” “Apply cold lotion where it hurts...”
She made him look at her.
“Do you want me to put some on for you?”
Cheeks turning red, he nodded and she kissed his forehead.
“I already put some in the fridge....”
The woman smiled.
“Alright, big boy, go lay on the bed. Nurse Susie will make it all better once she gets the cat settled.”
Sammy’s blush would’ve covered his entire face if it was possible as he scurried off to their bedroom and tried to find a comfortable position to lay in.
When Susie came in about ten minutes later, he had given up and was just standing next to it, making her giggle.
“I couldn’t find a way to lay down that was comfortable but left my ass accessible...” “I can see that. Just lay on your stomach with a pillow or two under your hips and drop the pants.”
He did as told hesitantly, looking at his girlfriend as she knelt next to him and put a bit of lotion in her hand.
“I’ll be gentle, okay?”
He nodded. He stiffened slightly when he felt the coldness of the lotion, but it only took a matter of seconds before he practically melted like butter in the sun as relief started washing over him.
Susie took her time, making sure she even went halfway down his thighs, being as careful as she could. She smiled every time he let out a soft moan or sigh. When she finally finished, she lightly pat his hip.
“All done, Sammykins! Does it feel any better?”
Sammy nodded, not really wanting to move. He just felt too relaxed.
“Mhm. Thank you, Doll. You’re too good to me.”
He slowly pushed himself up and worked his boxer briefs back up, then his jeans before turning and kissing her sweetly.
“So, how bad is it?” “Quite red, I think there might be a few small bruises trying to form but I’m not sure. I can check again when the redness is gone.”
The musician gave a slight nod and carefully sat next to her, pulled her into a hug, then flopped down on his side and dragged her with him. Susie squealed in surprise, making him chuckle.
“Sammy!” “What? I want to take a nap and you’re the perfect cuddling partner. I always sleep better with you in my arms.”
He nuzzled into her neck, making her giggle.
“Oh, alright, but just because you’re cute and I feel bad for you.”
“Thanks. But you’re cuter, Dollface.”
Susie smiled and pressed a little closer to him.
“I love you, Sammy.”
“I love you too.”