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Love Of My Life

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The Queens Dove. A title I was given at birth. While my name may be (Y/N), everyone refers to me as Dove.


My mother, The Queens Owl, was the only one who knew my birth name. I never understood why, until I watched the life drain out of her eyes in our own home. She was murdered, in her bed, because of her loyalty to the Queen.


I had just turned nine.


This was five years ago.


The day before she died, my birthday, I asked why I was given the title of The Queens Dove. I still don't understand her answer, despite her words echoing in my head every time I hear someone address me as "Dove".


She said, "(Y/N), my Dove, you are the Queens informatory. You have your fathers intelligence and my hands. Put them to good use. Let yourself be happy."


I can only hope to understand later in life.


After my mothers death, I was traded away. I'm not sure what happened, entirely. Just that I woke up, the morning after, in a cage. I spent the next four years at the Trancy estate until he was killed.


I'm 14 now, and I've taken over my father's duties. Not only his company but his loyalty to the Queen as well. Whilst I mourn my dearest mother, I am quite thankful for this opportunity to lead the (Y/L/N) company. I am more than capable of running a business. I've only got to prove it to everyone else.


My closest friend, Lady Elizabeth Midford, knows this better than anyone else. She's always been so supportive of me, and I greatly appreciate it. Though, I can never find a way to express it.


I must've mumbled her name or something since my butler, Henry, stuck his head in and reminded me of her pending arrival.


"My Lady, you mustn't forget about Lady Elizabeth's visit today." He smirked, knowing he startled me. Damn demon. I stood and left my desk, gesturing to the pool table for Henry to play with me.


I originally traded my soul with Henry to have him as a friend. I'd spent the last four years of my life pretty much alone, besides being used as a.. sexual slave. I was tired of being alone.


Then, I met Lady Elizabeth.


I wanted Henry to eat my soul and get on with it, but he insisted on waiting. I'm fairly happy he didn't, but I can't help but wonder what would've happened if he did.


I heard the carriage pull up and I paused our game. I watched Henry smile and head to the door to open it for me. I nodded as a thank you and made my way to greet my dearest friend Elizabeth.


"DOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Elizabeth sang, dragging out my name. I sighed softly, happy to see her but cringing at her shrill voice.


"Lady Elizabeth! So lovely to see you!" She pouted, as to be expected. Here comes her signature line..


"Dove! How many times have I said to call me Lizzie?! It's so not cute!!"


I rolled my eyes playfully and pulled her into a hug. Normally, Lizzie is someone who hugs first, but she knows better than to hug me first. She squealed happily and pulled me out into the foyer so she could spin us around.


Henry spoke before the actual spinning began, luckily. "Lady Elizabeth, how about we make our way into the garden for some lunch?"


She pulled away quickly and grabbed my hand, dragging me out into the garden. I did enjoy her company, but sometimes I just wish she'd tone it down some.


We spoke lightly for a few minutes before she began to stare at the birds above. I waited until she would comment on the irony of there being a singular white dove amid many black crows. Ever since I was born, there's been a white dove by my side. My mother said it was my father, who passed a few months before my birth, but for some reason, I felt I had a deeper connection with it. I can only assume that's where my title comes from.


To my surprise, Lizzie said nothing of it and got back to the conversation. This time, though, she started talking about a ball. She was to host one. Here. At my estate. Without consulting me about it.


"Lizzie! How the hell did you go about planning a ball, at my estate, without asking?!"


"Oh, but Dove, we must! I've already invited so many people! Including my fiancé!" Lizzie called out, waving her arms in the air with a look of despair implanted on her face.


I faltered, pulling my hand to my chest. She's already invited people.. I groaned and planted my hand on my forehead. Well, I guess I have to accept now. "At least we have time-" I was cut off by Lizzie talking loudly over me.


"Yes, yes, yes, yes!! I'm so happy you accepted! We must get started with the decorations at once!" She stood and ran, at full speed, into the ballroom. How she remembered where it was, despite not visiting for months, I don't know.


"Henry! Would you be as kind as to help Lady Elizabeth?" I peered up at him with pleading eyes, even though I knew he'd do it anyway.


He bowed gracefully and made his way to Lizzie, taking over her job of decorating. Lizzie ran to the middle of the room and looked around excitedly.


"Oh, Dove, I can't wait for tonight! It'll be so lovely!" She shrieked before taking my hands into her own. I gasped, awestruck.


"L-Lizzie!! What do you mean the ball is tonight?" My shock was evident, and for good reason too. I was to prepare an entire ball in one night, and it had just pasted noon.


I heard the doors to the ballroom open, then three pairs of footsteps making their way to us. The triplets. After Alois' death, I asked them to come with me. We had grown close during my stay with the Trancy, so it wasn't hard to convince them to stay with me.


"Ah! Great, you three are here. I need the manor fit for a ball. Would you three be kind enough to help?" I smiled sweetly, doing my best to show my appreciation throughout my actions. They whispered among themselves and made their way out again, presumably to begin their duties.


I asked them to accompany me in my manor as guests but they insisted on helping out. Now comes the hard part. Great.


"Lizzie, I presume you brought your entire wardrobe?" I questioned in a monotone voice, but softening once I saw her eyes light up. She's always been so easy to excite. She did, in fact, bring a large amount of her wardrobe. She went with a light blue dress that was utterly astonishing, while I went with a darker, less intricate blue dress.


Lizzie insisted on making us look "absolutely adorable", so we spent a good amount of time trying to get everything about us to her standards. Lizzie kept her hair the same as she usually does, just with a few blue flowers to match her dress. Much like my dress, I kept my hair simple. It framed my face with a loose braid going from the front and down the back. (This works for long and short hair!)


Time passed slowly, despite all of the running around we were doing. Around dinner time, guests started arriving. While Lizzie was busily looking around for her fiancé, I was greeting guests. Some I knew, some I didn't.


Just as I made my way to the top of the stairs to announce dinner was ready to be served, another guest arrived. I saw Lizzie run over to him, and I smiled. She was so sweet.


I sauntered over to greet him, excited to meet Lizzies betrothed. I stopped dead in my tracks when he turned towards me. I heard Henry hum in surprise behind me, but I wasn't sure as to what he was humming at.


I cleared my throat and curtsied, greeting the young, yet older, earl. "Dove (Y/L/N), I'm so glad you can make it." I managed a smile, but inside, I felt like crying. It wasn't an upset way of crying, no. I was euphoric. I knew who he was, and I couldn't be happier he was attending my ball.


He smiled politely, though it was unmistakably fake. "Ciel Phantomhive. A pleasure to see you again, Dove."

Chapter Text

Ciel took my hand in his and kissed it lightly. Elizabeth, beside the both of, excitedly took Ciel and hugged him tightly. I smiled, watching the young love play out.

If only Ciel looked as happy as Elizabeth did.

"So, Lady Elizabeth, Lady (Y/L/N), this is a lovely ball you've hosted. Would you mind showing us around?" Sebastian, as I remember, asked. He's so polite.. but he's got a demon's eyes.

I looked towards Ciel to see him gazing back at me, but something catches my eye. He wears an eye patch. I saw him wearing it at the Trancy manor, but I just figured it was an accident.

Now that I see his butler, though.. it most definitely wasn't.

"Oh! Right, of course. If you look this way.." While showing them around, I was pondering the likelihood of Ciel coming to save me.

What was his story? Did he actually know I was there? Or was it personal business with the young earl?

'Maybe the Queen had sent him.. Alois did dabble in some weird shit.' My thoughts wandered until we reached the centre of the room. I felt the back of my neck, where my contract seal is placed, tingle. Ciel must've felt his tingle too cause his hand went to his eye.

We watched each other for a moment before getting on with the tour. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of life the earl must have. I heard of his mansion burning, and his parents' death, but can you imagine being the head of such a company, as a male? Not to mention his close ties to the Queen.

'Yes, I am close with the Queen as well, seeing as she's my aunt, but I can't help but think she trusts him more due to him being born a male. How unfair..'

Sebastian and Henry were talking about somewhere off to the side and Ciel was being bombarded by Lizzie, so it was just me for a minute. I thought about sneaking off to talk to the triplets, but Ciel stopped me.

"Say, Lady (Y/L/N). However did you meet Eliza-" Lizzie cut him off with her signature line.

"Ciiieeelll~ How many times must I ask you to call me Lizzie? It's so not cute!" She pouted, completely unaware of the look of dismay planted on Ciel's face. He obviously wasn't too happy.

"Right. My sincerest apologies, Lizzie." The sarcasm was just oozing out of his words. I swear, if tones had colours to match them, Ciel's voice at the moment would be the brightest shade of.. whatever sarcasm is portrayed as.

As Lizzie twirled around Ciel, he and I held a casual conversation. It wasn't much, just enough to try and pass the time. That was, until, Lizzie startled us.

For a moment, she just stopped moving, staring out the window. Both Ciel and I reached for her before she slowly turned, a dazed look in her eyes.

"Dove... You know the bird that flies around you all the time. The white one?" She began her travel towards the window, and grimace painted along her porcelain skin.

"Lizzie, are you alright? What bird..?" As Ciel walked towards her I silently called Henry over as a security measure. I trusted Lizzie, but you never know. I beckoned Henry to follow me over to her, hoping he might be able to see something we don't.

Just moments before the outside was visible through the window, Henry covered my eyes. The scene, according to what Henry was describing, was gruesome.

"My Lady, it seems your dove is being picked apart by crows. The sight of it is upsetting even for me, my Lady." I could see Ciel, stoic as ever, from the corner of my eye. I ordered Henry to let go of me, to let me see.

I regretted it the moment he let go.

My hand flew up to my mouth, blocking any sounds that may come out. Though my dove had never attempted any contact, I could feel the excruciating pain ripping throughout my chest. I cried out. my voice resonating through the now silent ballroom.

Despite the pain already growing in my chest, a new feeling tore through my body. A feeling of serenity, calmness. I looked up with newfound confidence. I stepped outside, the cold air nipping at my ears. I couldn't be bothered.

A guttural sound escaped my lips, startling those around me. "Purissima venire ad me!" I thrusted my arm out towards the beautiful white dove, a lilac hue surrounding me.

The crowd behind me, consisting of Ciel, Elizabeth, and Sebastian watched intently. I'm sure Henry was blocking the rest of people from exiting.

The dove, soft and covered in the darkest shade of red, now rested in a ring of black feathers.

I ventured to him, as I now discovered. He looked up at me with his beady, blood-covered eyes. Without an ounce of hesitation, it stood. Slowly, granted. Seeing as he was in pain. It was calming, honestly. To see beauty arise from such a tragic event.

I scooped him up in my hands, feeling the confidence drain from within me. I teared up at the sight of him in such pain.

Then, as if it was a miracle, a similar lilac hue surrounded him. A light flashed, earning a whimper from Lizzie.

Perfectly timed, the light faded. Then, the dove flew off. It didn't travel far, just overhead before landing again. My heart was filled with euphoria, seeing him fly once more.

Watching him, vulnerable and covered in blood, was terrifying. It reminded me of my mother. My beautiful, strong mother. Bleeding out in her bed. For a moment, I felt as if I were to cry.

A hand resting on my shoulder brought me out of that feeling. Henry spoke from behind me. "My Lady, it seems you have frightened our guests." It was like a trance had been broken. Suddenly, I was able to hear Elizabeths crying, able to see Ciel attempting to comfort her.

My heart shattered.

The screaming.. My darling Lizzies screams pierced my thoughts. I straightened my posture and dusted a speck of invisible dust off of my dress. Inside, I was breaking just as much as Elizabeth, but I knew I couldn't show it.

I gently sauntered over to Elizabeth, pushing some of her hair out of her face. She looked up at me with sorrow filled eyes, clearly in pain. She faltered for a moment before backing up some. I closed my eyes tightly, cringing.

I never meant to scare her.

Ciel nodded at me, somewhat unsurprised of what just happened. I wasn't even entirely sure as to what previously occurred, but I guess when you have a demon butler not much surprises you.

I was thankful for his comfort, but I felt it was poorly addressed. Elizabeth was the one in clear pain. Suddenly, Elizabeth collapsed. Both Ciel and I reached for her, panicked. Elizabeth had a strong mind and body, so her collapsing was quite foreign.

Sebastian carried her to the guest bedroom she normally stays in, whilst Henry ended the evenings ball early. Ciel and I sat in my study discussing Elizabeth's health and sanity. He spoke quietly, changing the subject.

"Lady (Y/L/N), has this ever happened before?"

I was hesitant to respond. I didn't know what it was, and I didn't want it getting around. Ciel maintained eye contact, certainly demanding an answer. I was in no position to deny him.

"No, I don't see it has, Lord Phantomhive."

He leaned back in his chair, his hand reaching for his eyepatch. I didn't suspect he would take it off, revealing his demon seal. His attraction to it, however, raised a few alarms.

"Sebastian." He spoke with a present authority. I counted only four seconds between the time he called and the time Sebastian arrived.

Shocking, really.

"Yes, my Lord?" Sebastian stepped inside, a polite smile on his face.

"Contact the Undertaker. Let's find out exactly what's going on here."

Chapter Text

I sat quietly by Elizabeth's side, my hand on hers. She looked so pale. It was quite worrisome. Henry closed the door to the room, having the blinds already been shut. It was dark in here, besides the candle he was holding.

It was painfully quiet.

I wasn't used to having guests over, besides Elizabeth. Even then, it was never quiet. Whether it be my music lessons or Henry's humming, there was always a soft buzz echoing throughout the manor.

"Henry, will you sing for me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. Typically, Henry found himself singing me to sleep, so he was used to being asked to sing. This time, however, he wasn't so sure.

"My Lady, with all due respect, we have an urgent matter to discuss first," He continued with a well thought out speech, but it was falling on deaf ears. I was too deep in thought to hear what he was saying.

'Maybe what happened earlier wasn't what we thought at all... Maybe it's not me, maybe it's some mouldy bread or whatever...' I shook my head at the thought. This wasn't something we can push off, multiple people saw it.

It made Lizzie ill.

I gently pushed the hair out of her face once more, Henry's voice coming back to me. "My Lady? Do tell me you understand." I took a moment to try and recollect what he might have meant, but nothing came to mind. He sighed and made his way to my side.

He took my hand.

"My Lady, I do believe you've unlocked something. Something powerful. Your dove would've died if it wasn't for your touch, and for that I applaud you." He smiled warmly. "However... I fear Elizabeth's view of you as a friend may not last much longer. More importantly, her view of this world may change. I fear her feeble mind won't be able to take this information."

I paused, turning back to Elizabeth. She's always been so strong. I never once thought I'd be the cause of her lying broken in bed. She began to stir softly, presumably from hearing our voices. I stood to leave the room before her hand reached out and grabbed mine.

"Dove... Please don't leave me." Her voice cracked, her eyes teary. I softened, sitting back down in my seat. Her normal cutesy facade was fading, and quick. I wiped a tear from her face, smiling down at her. I've never been good at comforting people, but I was trying. Desperately.

"I won't leave you, Lizzie. Promise." Her frown faltered for a moment before returning once again.

"Dove, where is Ciel?" She began to sit hastily, wincing at the pain she felt in her head. I took her shoulders and laid her down on the bed. "Is he okay? I'm worried about him."

"Yes, Lizzie, Lord Phantomhive is resting in the guest bedroom across from yours. If you wish, I can go fetch him?" She shook her head and leaned her head back into the pillow. I nodded.

I stood to grab Lizzie the tea Henry had just previously made. Henry was nice enough to make it, but the least I could do is deliver it to her after causing her such significant pain.

We sat in taciturnity.

Lizzie spoke after a moment, almost hesitantly. The fear in her voice was achingly evident. She sounded heartbroken. "Dove.. what was that? I don't like it." She turned her head away from me, almost like she was scared of looking me in the eyes.

"To be honest, Lizzie, I'm not sure. It's never really happened before. If I could take it back, let it disappear from history, I would. But it's here now, and I'm not sure what to do..." I trailed off, trying to not to cry in front of her. My voice betrayed me, anyhow. I don't think I'd be able to talk if I wanted to.

She frowned, shaking her head softly and turned away from me. She was going through a lot right now, so I wasn't gonna push it. Henry and I left the room, crossing the hall into Ciels. Sebastian was in there, getting the Lord into bed. They both glanced towards the door, a look of surprise on their faces.

"Lady (Y/L/N), is there something we might be able to help you with?" Ciel tilted his head curiously, his hair covering where his eyepatch normally would. I noticed it sitting on the bedside table. I'm not sure what came over me, but he looked so vulnerable with his eye patch off, his seal in the open. I wanted to comfort him, so I lifted my hair and pulled it to the side, the peak of my seal showing.

Henry smiled darkly.

Ciels face softened as he heard me speak, perhaps seeing the light from my seal. I'm glad I can successfully comfort one of my guests. "It's Lizzie. She's awake, and not very happy." He visibly stiffened, the same look of dismay from earlier took over his features.

"Yes, of course. Sebastian, dress me." Sebastian bowed as Henry and I took our leave. I trusted Ciel would be able to get through to Lizzie. He is her fiancé, after all. Henry took me to my room to be changed and put to bed. Oh, how I hated his smug smile.

"Why, My Lady, it seems you've taken quite a liking to the Lord." He spoke teasingly, of course, but it was quite unnecessary. I shook my head with a chuckle. He knew better.

"Henry. Surely you aren't teasing me."

He bowed from behind me, that sly smile still adorning his face.

"Of course not, My Lady."

{Ciels POV}

As Sebastian dressed me, I couldn't help but think about Doves actions earlier. Never would I have thought she'd openly expose herself to me. Granted, I was quite vulnerable as well, but she had a choice.

She really is something.. something grand.

I felt my eyes light up as Sebastian made eye contact. He smirked. That cursed demon.. I know what he was suggesting and it irritated me. Of course, I wasn't embarrassed by her gesture. Sure, it was kind but quite stupid. I could be some creep who had a thing for souls. Just like a demon.


I chuckled at the thought, now fully dressed. I Sebastian tied my eyepatch on and we walked out to Elizabeth's room. I wish I had an idea as to what to tell her, but I'm afraid I didn't. When we entered, Lizzie was turned away from the door. She muttered, "Dove, I don't think I want to be near you right now."

I faltered for a moment. I've never heard of Lizzie being down enough to deny someone's company. I stepped towards her, Sebastian at my side. She huffed. "Well, Lizzie. I never thought I'd see the day you didn't want her around." A soft sigh escaped her lips as she turned to look at me.

"Oh.. Ciel. Heh, I'm sorry you heard that. Please, come in." She pulled the blanket up to her chest, presumably trying to block me from seeing her in her nightclothes. It was cute, really.

I sat at the edge of her bed, a fake smile adorning my face. If only she knew.. That's when a thought came across my mind. I only had to get her in the position of asking.

"So, Ciel.. What brings you here?" She tilted softly, her beautiful features glowing in the faint moonlight. Her beauty caught me in a trance, truly. But for some reason.. that moment with Dove flashed through my mind again.

"Oh, simple. I was checking on my beautiful fiancée." Despite it being completely out of character for me, it felt quite nice to compliment her. She seemed to enjoy it too, judging from the huge blush spread across her face.

She giggled and took ahold of my hand, a glum look taking her over. I frowned, not particularly pleased to see her upset. "Lizzie? Is something wrong?"

She looked away, a distant look on her face. "What happened with Dove... She's not a human, is she?" She teared up but quickly wiped her tears away. "She was so nice to me, how could she be something so hellish?"

I looked down, ashamed. I knew I had to tell her, but I wasn't sure how. So, I did the only thing I could think of.

I slid off my eye patch and let my eyes light up with that demonic colour.

The look in her eyes when she saw me, I'll never be able to forget.