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i will follow you home, although my lips are blue and i'm cold

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Mina Ashido was an absolute disaster. This much was made clear immediately upon her meeting some of the newly debuted heroes. As newly debuted villains, she and her work partners had "felt it appropriate" (which was a code word for 'Shigaraki told us to, and we're too tired to argue') to go out and "greet" the new heroes (code for 'try and probably fail to kick their asses') on their patrol routes. How did they get their patrol routes? Mina geniunely didn't know- probably that support chick, Hatsume, hacking into their various agencies.

Whatever the case, here they were, all dressed up in their villain costumes, preparing to jump the heroes- Shigaraki was there, though probably only to make sure they didn't do anything stupid, like trying to run off with a hero. Which she doubted anyone here would do, but she supposed they couldn't be too careful- if anybody tried to betray the League, she'd melt their face off!

Anyway, so here she was, mask on- which was seriously pointless, it's so easy to identify her, she is literally pink!- waiting for Jirou, who would soon be known as Earphone Jack, to give her the signal to drop down and attack. The two had decided to work as a pair, leaving Shinsou to work on his own, which was what he preferred anyway, and so they had decided that Mina would be the frontrunner, with Jirou being the one to appear from the shadows- easier for her to do because, once again, Mina is literally pink- and also the one to call when the heroes would be showing up.

Speaking of which, the com in her ear crackled to life.

"Alien Queen, heroes heard. There appear to be three of them, two female and one male. Most likely Froppy, Creati, and Chargebolt, based on the information Support gave us. Copy?"

"Earphone Jack, copy! How long until they reach my location?"

"Forty-five seconds, give or take. Remember, just shout my name if needed. Mindbrand, are you on standyby for assistance as well?"

"Yes. Earphone Jack, Alien Queen, I am roughly at the halfway point between your two positions. Remember to keep the ruse that I am quirkless up as long as possible. Got it?"

"Copy."

"Got it!"

Soft voices came from the main road, presumably the heroes, and she dug her phone out of her jacket, pressing play on an audio recording. The sound of a young child crying rang from her speakers, through the alley, and out onto the main street. She didn't hear the footsteps change, but she heard Jirou reassure her they were heading her way. And, after a few seconds, she saw them emerge.

This is where the disaster begins, because Mina Ashido didn't take into account the possibility of the heroes actually being cute. The green haired hero, especially- she was Froppy, right? The frog one?- was actually really adorable. Somebody Mina could see herself asking out, if they weren't on totally opposite sides. But the acid villain had a job to do, and so she shook any ideas of the girl out of her head. The crush would go away if she gave the girl some acid scarring, so she wasn't too worried.
She took the ladder down from the building she'd been standing on, landing in front of the heroes, who all three immediately slipped into a fighting stance. Acid pooled in her palms, but she attempted not to show that quite yet- they were at the disadvantage of not knowing her quirk, after all, while she already knows theirs.

Momo Yaoyorozu, hero name Creati. Quirk: Creation! She can create anything using the molecules in her body, however she must have detailed knowledge of how it's made. She also relies on calories and food intake, so she can create a limited amount of things!

Tsuyu Asui, hero name Froppy. Quirk: Frog! Her quirk is mutant type, and she can do most things a frog can. She can jump very high, use her tounge as a whip and a capture weapon, stick to walls, and even camouflage! Although, just like a frog, her body shuts down if exposed to cold temperatures for too long.

Denki Kaminari, hero name Chargebolt. Quirk: Electrification! He can emit a powerful electric blast, up to 1,300,000 volts! However, this blast cannot be controlled easily, resulting in potential friendly fire. Also, he's incredibly dumb after doing this. He has equipment that lets him channel where his less powerful electricity goes, though! At least that's something.

"Who... are you?"

"Where's the kid?!"

Creati and Chargebolt seemed to speak at the same time, and Mina sighed. Heroes.. do they ever learn to calm down? It didn't seem so.

"Okay, okay, one question at a time! Number one, my real name really isn't that important, but you can call me Alien Queen! And as for your second question..."

With a swift wave of her hand, Mina sent acid flying around the heroes, creating a wall behind them that they couldn't cross if they didn't want to be burnt all over.

"There was never a kid. It was a trap. Aren't heroes supposed to be more vigilant?"

"Ash- er, Alien Queen, what the hell?! We're supposed to be able to get there too!"

Jirou spoke in English, albeit accented English, as they'd decided that speaking in a language many heroes couldn't understand was far easier than just planning in Japanese or having to see each other and use sign, so Shinsou had taught them.

"If I had to guess, it's a low acidity and high viscosity decoy wall she created to prevent them from running for help."

"Yeah."

She was grateful for Shinsou speaking up, as it meant that she didn't have to explain her fake wall in front of heroes who may or may not speak English. It was never a foolproof plan, but it was the best one they had.

"I wouldn't run if I were you. That wall? Acid, so unless you wanna be irreparably burnt..."

Mina trailed off, allowing their minds to fill in the blanks with whatever horrible things could happen to them.

"You're from... that villain organization, right? Well, if you let us go, we can make sure your friend is unharmed."

"You have one of my coworkers? Um, but Earphone Jack and Mindbrand... and Tomura... and the rest of us... OH! Is that why grape bastard didn't come back last week? Nah, you can keep him. I was so close to just killing him myself!"

Creati looked... disappointed? That her bargaining attempt hadn't worked. She felt kinda bad for the girl- if she had to capture Mineta, she must have had a taste of what he was like.

"Anyway! I lured you here to fight you guys, what the hell are you waiting for?! You just gonna let me burn your faces off? Frog girl over there looks kinda fun to scar... Yeah, please just sit still for a moment!"

Maybe if she's scarred, I'll stop feeling like I want to kiss her.

Mina jumped at the three, acid falling from her palms, and she carefully watched their reactions.

Dumbasses. They think I want to kill them. We need intel on all the newest heroes, and what better way to get intel than to be up close and personal with the heroes?

Froppy jumped out of the way, pulling Chargebolt and Creati with her, and landing behind Mina. Producing acid below her feet, Mina turned quickly, and raised her hands for an attack-

Before realizing nobody was there.

Jirou's voice crackled in her ear again, and she was relieved it was there. Jirou was the brains of this operation, but more importantly, she could locate the heroes.

"To your left."

The pink villain turned quickly and threw a stream of acid in the direction that Jirou dictated, her heart pounding out of her chest.

And Creati leapt out of the shadows with a shield, blocking all of the acid with minimal damage to the shield. Damn. She'd have to try harder. Though, she had a few tactics she could use, even without her acid.

"Three on one is a little unfair! This game isn't fun at all, now that I think about it..."

"You're the one who attacked us in the first place!"

Chargebolt's voice echoed out of the shadows, and she immediately turned and threw a wide band of acid in his direction. From the sudden yelp, not only from him, but from Froppy, she assumed she'd hit her target.

Why did she feel guilty...?

"And, since this is a boring and unfair game, and I don't really wanna be captured, I'm gonna cheat and call a friend!"

"Already? Seriously? You couldn't wait FIVE MINUTES for me to finish my damn sandwich?!"

"Earphone Jack!"

Everybody seemed to pause.

"Can we get this over with?"

A voice echoed from the shadows, and the owner of the voice sounded incredibly displeased.

"Nah! Boss wants them alive, if we can get em!"

"Alien Queen. What, exactly, did Boss tell you about referencing ANYTHING about him in front of heroes?!"

"... not to do it?"

"Dumbass."

"Love you too!"

Jirou just shook her head, walking up to Mina and placing noise-cancelling headphones in her hand. MIna, being the intelligent alien that she is, decided wisely to get the hell behind Jirou and put on the headphones. Before anybody could react, Jirou's... earlobes? Jacks? Ear jacks? Mina didn't know what she called them, but she was just gonna assume they were called jacks due to her hero name. Safe assumption, probably. Anyway, the jack thingies stabbed into her boots, and Mina swore she could see the soundwaves as Creati stumbled back, hands clapped over her ears.

"That was... anticlimactic."

"Ashi- er, Alien Queen-"

"Quit slipping up!"

"It's such a stupid name, I can't help it. Anyway, now that you've let it slip that Boss wants them, should we just get them back? You have your capture weapon, right?"

"It's not a stupid name! And yeah, I have it-"

A voice from the shadows cut them off. It seemed to be an... attempted whisper? But they could both still hear it.

"A-Aizawa! I know you said not to call you unless there's an emergency but- there's an emergency!"

Shit. Chargebolt- and it was Chargebolt, considering that it was a male voice- was calling his teacher. She was going to melt the little shit's face until it was nothing but warped bone. Jirou seemed to share her sentiment- judging by the look she had on her face, she wanted to gouge the electric hero's eyes out with her jacks. Which she had done before, but apparently they were 'really hard to clean out after'. Which was understandable, and also why Mina liked melting faces. You don't have to take hour long showers to clean up.

"Yeah, a villain lured us into an alleyway by pretending to be a little kid-"

"It was a recording, thank you very much!"

"And they're more skilled than us-"

 "Aw, thanks!"

"Alien Queen, shut the fuck up before I hand you over to the cops myself."

Mina threw her arms around Jirou in a hug, smiling from ear to ear. Jirou attempted to shove her off, hissing various curses at her, but Mina wouldn't budge.

"You love me too much for that!"

"I would give you to the police for two corn chips and some peace and quiet."

As she spoke, Jirou gestured to the shadows in the back corner of the alleyway with a jack. Mina, looking over to where she was pointing, saw none other than a certain purple-haired, sleep-deprived villain. He approached Chargebolt slowly from behind, and Mina and Jirou both shifted to block Creati from seeing him. Froppy was presumably facing the same way Chargebolt was, so there was no problem there. When Shinsou got near enough to him, he spoke, causing Chargebolt to jump.

"Your hero name... it's Chargebolt, right?"

"Yeah, what about it? Are you with the-"

Mina saw his eyes unfocus and he began to stare into space. That was a sure sign that Shinsou had taken control of somebody. Froppy spoke, hesitation in her voice.

"... Chargebolt?"

No response.

"Kaminari?"

Still nothing.

"Creati, help! Chargebolt isn't respon-"

The frog girl was suddenly cut off by a quiet, tired voice.

"Chargebolt, put the call on speaker."

The voice of the pro hero, Eraserhead, rang around the alley.

"Denki Kaminari, if this is a prank call, I swear you will not live to see graduation-"

Shinsou coughed, cleared his throat, and raised his voice.

"Eraserhead- Chargebolt, give me the phone-"

He gently took the phone from Chargebolt's grasp.

"Better. Anyway, Eraserhead-"

"What did you do to Kaminari, and who the hell are you?"

"Stop shouting, you're giving me a headache."

"And why should I listen to you-"

"I have Denki Kaminari completely under my control. He will do anything I tell him. Do not interrupt me."

After a few seconds of silence, Shinsou nodded and continued.

"My name, or what I shall be known as for the duration of this call, is Mindbrand. I am here with my partners, Alien Queen and Earphone Jack."

Yelling can be heard in the background of Eraserhead's side of the call. Mina thinks she hears him sigh with relief.

"Hold on, lemme call my husband over to listen to this bullshit."

"Don't sass me, Eraser."

Honestly, Mina is pretty sure that Shinsou just had five years deducted from his lifespan.

"Yo, Mic, I'm on a work call, and I could really use your help."

"School or hero work?"

"Both. Hostage situation."

Before, the other person on the phone, who Eraserhead referred to as 'Mic' could speak, Mina cut in.

"This is not a hostage situation."

Shinsou just stared at her and sighed.

"It's a hostage situation. This is the textbook definition of a hostage situation."

"No it's not!"

There go another five years.

"Anyway, restating my introduction because APPARENTLY, Eraserhead has a HUSBAND and I am not getting paid enough for this-"

"We don't get paid at all."

"Wow, Earphone Jack, I didn't know that. ANYWAY. My name, or what I shall be known as for the duration of this call, is Mindbrand. I am here with my partners, Alien Queen and Earphone Jack. We have Denki Kaminari hostage, and completely under out control. Do not interrupt us or it's his head on the line."

"WAIT! Chargebolt is our classmate, you can't-"

Jirou levelled a glare at Creati, who was the one who spoke. One of her jacks shot out and hovered inches from Creati's face.
"The no interruptions rule goes for you two, as well. It'd be a shame if anything were to happen to him."

Creati scowled and stared at the floor, and Jirou retracted her jack, giving her attention to Shinsou.

"Our demands are simple: Six thousand dollars-"

"That's a lot! Are you sure-"

"Ashido- fuck- whatever, they'll be able to identify you anyway, you're literally fucking pink. We don't get paid. How do we rent an apartment with no money?"

"... good point."

"Six thousand dollars, and information on the current operating pros. You've got a week."

"Or what, you kill them?!"

The voice, presumably Mic's, from the other side of the phone was loud. Mina wanted to just... pour acid down his throat so he would shut the hell up.

"First of all, keep shouting and I swear to god they'll die right here. Second of all, no, but my colleagues rarely get a chance to test the more... violent parts of their quirks."

The threat was clear. Mina could see Froppy now, the shadows had moved, and she felt... bad? The girl was scared, clearly, and she didn't like seeing her scared. She didn't feel the same way about Creati.. but judging by Jirou's expression, the hearing villain did. That could be a problem.

"Now, we have to go. Anything you wanna say before we do?"

"KIDS! It's gonna be alright! We, as your teachers, are gonna get you to safety! Right, Aizawa?"

"..."

"Shou?"

"We will get you out of there. I promise."

Shinsou sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Do those words even mean anything? We'll find out in a week, I suppose."

Shinsou pressed the button to end the call.

"We're here for another five minutes. In the meantime, you two, give Alien Queen and Earphone Jack your phones."

Mina sighed as she went to go collect Froppy's phone.

"I don't have one on me, kero."

Inwardly, Mina hated what she had to do. And there wasn't a particular reason- she just felt bad about even so much as threatening the rainy season hero. But, it had to be done. Her palms filled with acid that dripped onto the pavement, melting small holes in it.

"You don't?"

Froppy sighed, before pulling one out of a hidden pocket in her suit.

"Thanks. Nice try, but it didn't work."

She returned to Shinsou, handing him Froppy's phone. A moment later, Jirou came up to him, holding what was definitely Creati's phone- it was pink and had stickers of heroes on it.

"Did boss bail?"

"Yeah, probably thought we were gonna lose as soon as this motherfucker called Eraserhead. So he dipped."

"Does he seriously have that little faith in us?!"

"Yeah."

"...understandable."

Their conversation was cut short as a large black car pulled up, swerved over the sidewalk very illegally, and stopped right in front of the alleyway. The door opened, revealing a grinning girl with pink hair and goggles.

"Get in losers, we're going to Ashido's apartment."

"Why my apartment?!"

"Hey, it's my apartment too, don't leave my name out of this."

"Sorry, we're going to Ashido and Jirou's shared apartment."

Shinsou shook his head.

"I get shotgun. You two in the middle, hostages in the back."

Creati sighted and got into the door furthest back, followed shortly by Froppy. Chargebolt just stood there.

"Oh right, you're still under my control. Get in the back of the car next to your classmates."

                                                        


 

The call ended, and the very first thing Aizawa did was to sigh and bury his head in his hands.

"First day! First damn day on their work studies, and what do they do?! Go and get themselves kidnapped! Of course!"

His husband, Hizashi, rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him.

"Shou, it's okay! They can take care of themselves."

"Zashi, they have somebody with a brainwashing quirk, presumably. And six thousand dollars? Where are we gonna get six thousand dollars from? And the information on the operating pros, too..."

He sighed again, picking up his phone and typing a number into it.

"Nezu? The kids fucked up, badly, I literally cannot fix this alone because I'm broke. You don't pay me and Hizashi enough to fix this. So we need a hero discussion, and we need it fast, because we have a time limit."

A pause, during which Hizashi stared at Shouta expectantly.

"No, they're not expelled. Yes, I may need you to make up an excuse for me to kill the villains. No, I don't know how the villain group's Quirks work, why would I know that, all I know is there's 3 of them and one has a brainwashing Quirk. Their names? Mindbrand, Alien Queen..."

Shouta seemed to be struggling with remembering the third one's name- which was fair, it was rather plain compared to the other two. So Hizashi decided to help! His help just came in the form of literally screaming the name into the phone.

"EARPHONE JACK!!!!!"

"Yes, thank you Hizashi, how do you even say that many exclamation points?"

"YEARS OF PRACTICE!!!!!!!!!!"

"Rhetorical question. Anyway, we need six thousand dollars. And information on the currently operating pros."

Shouta sighed, probably at whatever reaction the furry principal of UA had.

"Identifying things? Like, civilian names?"

"Oh, oh, I remember something!"

Hizashi spoke up, waving his hand in the air like an overexcited child- Shouta found it cute, not that he would ever admit that- and he physically grabbed the phone from Shouta.

"I don't know which one it was, but one of them referred to the other as 'Ashido'! It was a female talking to a female, so either Earphone Jack or Alien Queen has the last name Ashido! Also, whoever it was said Ashido was, as I recall, 'literally fucking pink'!"

Shouta had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing, he had an image, but damn if hearing Hizashi say that wasn't the funniest thing he'd heard all week. But, he had to take the phone back from Hizashi, no matter how convincing his pout was.

"Tomorrow? What time? Ah, alright. Thanks. I should go, and you probably have stuff you need to do. Thank you."

Shouta hung up, and slammed his phone on the table. Again.

"Shou, you're going to break your phone if you keep doing it."

"If it breaks, Denki fucking Kaminari is paying for it."

"That's unfair..."

"Life isn't fair." 



Only once they were in the car did Shinsou release Chargebolt from his control. Chargebolt promptly started screaming and freaking out. Jeez, what was it with heroes screaming so much? Aren't they taught to be calm in the face of danger? What are hero schools teaching these kids?

"Shut up. You're hurting my ears."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR EARS YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND I'VE BEEN CONTROLLED TO DO NEZU KNOWS WHAT-"

"You remember what you did, come on, my control wasn't that total."

"Did... did you just use Nezu's name in place of God? Like, is your principal a god?"

"YEAH HE IS! AND ALSO, YOU COULD HAVE JUST WIPED MY MEMORY! LET US GO RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL-"

"Electrocute this car? And kill your friends? And then get killed by Support for ruining her car? Yeah, no. Shut up."

Jirou crossed her arms, twirling one of her jacks around her fingers. Mina just fidgeted with her hands, feeling a headache coming on.

"Mindbrand, can't you just... recontrol him? So he shuts up?"

"Alien Queen, you know Quirk fatigue is a thing I'd like to avoid, correct? And controlling a pissed off hero would be quite annoying. So no. I can't. Put your earbuds in, I know you brought some."

"I accidentally melted them!"

"Tough luck."

Hearing Jirou laugh beside her, she turned to slap the other girl, but found her wrist tangled in one of Jirou's earphone jacks. If Jirou was an actual enemy, she wouldn't have hesitated to melt the girl's jacks, but this was her best friend. So no melting. No melting Jirou, anyway, the others were totally viable targets. After a week. Which was both very long and very short.

Oh well. She was sure she'd manage somehow.