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White little girl ass

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 “And then Stan went on fucking b-b-ba-ba-barfing all over the St-Stotch’es new couch” Jimmy vividly retold at the cafeteria table with an amused, lopsided grin, facial expression proud as if he was talking about himself. Tweek had to bite back his laughter whereas Craig had his typical stoic, slightly dismissive look going on.

“Yeah, and straight into my Ushanka as well” Kyle was quick to remind everyone and darted his signature-scowl at Stan, medium-length red curls falling into his freckled face. Stan shot him an apologetic look, hungover puppy eyes and all, knowing it wouldn’t take long for his super best friend to let go of this little grudge. Stan’s face was just so fuckable, nothing someone could stay mad at for long.


He was just about to lean over and whisper into Kyle’s ear how he looked better without it anyway when suddenly-

“Shut up Kahl, your jew-hat looked stupid anyway” Cartman scoffed callously. The redhead wheeled around, a little faster than he intended to, making his hungover head spin.

“It’s not jewish, dumbass, it’s Russian” he managed to bicker. Eric opened his mouth in order to say something back but Clyde beat him to it.

“Anyway, that wasn’t even the best part of the story” he beamed. Stan rolled his eyes and held back a grin, knowing damn well what’s about to follow. It almost looked like he didn’t even feel sorry for what happened last night. Actually, it looked like none of them did.

“Can’t wait to hear it” Craig spoke up, nasal voice dripping in sarcasm, eyes not leaving his phone screen though. Tweek and he had stayed as his place last night since Craig figured that it was for the better, Jimmy’s and Clyde’s storytelling only confirming his decision so far.


“So right while my man Stanley here was spewing up his lunch” – he threw his arm over Stan’s shoulder and pulled him closer, wearing a shit eating grin. Kyle grimaced at the phrasing. –  “suddenly Butters’ fucking parents walk straight through the door and none of us knew that they were coming back early so obviously the house was still a fucking mess” Clyde continued, eyeing everyone, his free hand flat on the table for the extra drama.

“Yeah, we got f-f-fu-fucking busted b-b-big time” Jimmy added smirking, more proud than remorseful.

Tweek almost swallowed the straw of his iced matcha and even on Craig’s face, a small grin appeared. He looked up.

“Damn if I could’ve seen all of you getting busted by fucking Stephen Stotch, I’d be soooo happy” he admitted and Tweek snickered.

“I’m glad I wasn’t there though -nggh- that would’ve been way too much pressure!” the blonde worded, feeling Craig’s slender fingers lazily running up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him. Worked like a charm every time.


Kenny also sat at the table with them. Hungover as well, but that wasn’t something a McCormick couldn’t take. Normally, he would’ve eagerly joined the conversation, especially since he’d almost always be the main protagonist of all the fucked-up party-stories, but not this time. The dirty blonde was preoccupied thinking about how Stephen practically stormed through that door yesterday – he probably just kicked it in himself, that’s how mad he looked. Jesus, if looks could kill, Butters would’ve been dead before his dad even touched the fucking doorhandle.


“Hold up” Token joined the discussion as he went to the cinema with Nichole yesterday and had no clue whatsoever, lifting his hands in a slightly defensive manner. Good kid.

He cocked an eyebrow. “What did you do then?”


Kenny’s last living braincells remembered someone yelling “Run!” and everyone just following the instructions as if they were fucking 8-year-old rug rats again, except for him and Butters. He had just stood there for a few more moments, watching Butters panicking, the alcohol hindering him from coming up with something credible to save Butters’ ass while Stephen was slowly turning into a full-on carnivore. Before Kenny could do anything, Stan seized him by the arm and the blonde instinctively started running as well, shoving the guilt and Butters’ horrified face in the back of his head.


“We ran away” Kyle shrugged, head perched on his hand. Token snorted while slightly shaking his head, suddenly really glad to have missed out on that party. Stan rested his head on Kyle’s shoulder, looking for some affection to kill his pulsing headache.

“Where the hell is Butters anyway?” he sighed, eyes closed.

Eric snorted and continued slurping his coke: “Pfff”.

“Who cares about Butthead? He’s probably at home getting his white little girl ass whipped properly” he gloated.

“Don’t call him that, fatass” Kenny suddenly spoke up and considering their expressions, everyone seemed to have forgotten that he’s been at the table with them all along. If someone’s to whip Butters’ bare ass, it’s going to be him.


“Jeez Kinny, calm your tits. It’s not my fault he’s so stupid and decided to throw a fuckin' house party” Cartman shrugged, wearing a mischievous grin – and just as he was about to slurp some more of his large coke, Kenny knocked it out of his chubby fingers. The cap broke away, leaving a brown trail across the cafeteria floor.

“AY” Cartman spat pissed-off, but soon enough Kenny easily had him up by the collar, definitely restricting his airflow. Eric was practically hanging in the air, gasping for dear life.

“Dude, relax” Stan murmured already halfway asleep, but it worked anyway. Kenny shot Cartman a dirty look for a few more seconds before letting go, knowing better than to pick a school fight like a little kid. The smaller one shot Kenny a nasty look, still panting a little.


“H-hey fellas” a familiar voice arose from behind. Heads turning quickly, all eyes laid on the tiny blonde now. Puberty had kinda sorta missed Butters down the road, leaving him at somewhere between 5.6 and 5.7 feet, around same height as fatass. He was slender, sure – but not unhealthily thin or something. Except for his strong thighs and cherry ass, of course. Also, the whole crossdressing thing he had going on for a couple months now didn’t really help making a masculine appearance. Still, Kenny was fucking stoked on it. Only Butters and his golden hips could pull off those tight hot pants as a dude and Kenny silently prayed that if there was a god, he’d let him enjoy it for as long as possible before Stephen would find out, rip his son’s head off and send his white little girl ass to straight camp. Again.


Tears prickled at the corners of Butters’ babyblue eyes as his shaky voice broke off. Stotch pushed his typical smile through though, having been raised to not show any weakness when in public. Behind him, Mr. Mackey scuffed.

“Come on Butters, m’kay. You can talk to your friends  ‘s soon as detention’s over, m’alright?”

“Yes, sir” voice sounding of defeat, Butters looked at the ground and fiddled with his hands, more in an exhausted than nervous manner.

“Hold on, detention? What about class?” smartass interfered, accidently startling up Stan, and Kenny was suddenly really grateful for Kyle’s occasional boldness. He caught himself feeling shame when he saw Butters like this – which was an emotion quite unusual for a McCormick. He managed to pull himself together though, and while Mr. Mackey went on to Kyle about the reason behind Butters’ detention, Kenny snuck up to the other blonde.

“Woah, hey there, Ken” he greeted, trying to keep up his act but Kenny hadn’t been through hell and back for nothing. The boy recognized pain when he saw it.


“Look, Butters” his voice low and barely loud enough to not count as whispering, having genuine concern and sympathy for the other one.

“I know we fucked up bad yesterday, and I shouldn’t have just left you hanging when your folks busted us. It was super not-cool of me and I’m really-, god I’m really fucking sorry Butters, I’m so stupid” he admitted as he eyed the other blonde’s bruised wrists, the last part being more directed towards himself than anyone else. Butters noticed and quickly stretched-out his sleeves so they would cover up the blotches, remains of Stephen’s tight grip the night prior.

“It’s alright, Ken, don’t ya worry too much ‘bout me” he made a somewhat dismissive gesture with his hand, playing it off, trying his best to keep up the smile. Kenny was taken a little aback by that answer, but not highly surprised. He sure knew Butters got the short end of the deal when it came to family, but he didn’t know that Stephen had him that trained. Hell, Butters might even be worse off than him.

“Alright my ass, Butters, it’s not-“ Kenny got interrupted by Mr. Mackey this time. Seems like Kyle had run out of ideas to keep him talking. So much for being a smartass.

“Come on young man, m’kay. You know how PC principal can get if you’re late for detention. You don’t want another two weeks, do you? M’kay”

“No, sir” the boy answered and just before he’d start to waddle along with Mr. Mackey again, Kenny grabbed his arm, face coming close to Butters’, whisper-yelling:

“Stay awake tonight, I’m gonna make it up to you” and before Butters could even comprehend what was going on, Kenny let go and Mr. Mackey practically shoved him out of the cafeteria.

 “Phew” Eric sighed.

“Thank god Mackey didn’t realise Kahl’s hungover jew-ass or we all would’ve ended up in stupid detention.”

“Just know that when I’m sober, I’m going to kick your fat ass” Kyle mumbled lazily, closing his eyes and trying his best not to fall asleep at the lunch table.




“Stan, I should go back to class. We’ve been gone for almost 10 minutes now, people will notice-“

Kyle got cut off by slightly chapped lips and dark hair still smelling of yesterday’s party mood tickling his cheeks. Not interrupting the kiss, Stan closed up on the redhead, softly pressing Kyle’s back against the wall of the toilet cabin, big hands running through red curls hungrily. He gently started fondling the other one’s scalp, knowing damn well Broflovski’s a fucking sucker for that kinda shit. After all, Stan still had to make up for vomiting all over him last night.

A few silent moments of tongue-intertwining later, Stan broke the kiss. Half-lidded marineblue met emerald, pupils dilated with want, lips glossed with spit. Redhead was blushing slightly, swollen lips and all, messy hair. Fucking adorable how he worried about class and shit, made Stan unbelievably hard.

“Let them notice.” he murmured against Kyle’s pale skin as he went for his neck, hand grabbing his best friend’s hard-on through the pants. The low voice gave Kyle shivers all over again.

“Stan, stop…” he mumbled with closed eyes, tone not quite convincing though. They both knew Kyle didn’t actually want it to stop, it was just his nerves talking.


Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. Kyle quickly recoiled and held his breath, glance laced with fear of getting caught.

“Dude, Stan. I need your help” said by no less than Kenneth McCormick, the textbook example of a cockblocker.


Stan blew out the air he was holding in with relief, although just for a second, he questioned his decision to ever leave the goth kids. To say that Kyle was embarrassed was a huge understatement. He was blushing intensely, using both hands to cover his mouth. After all, they hadn’t officially told anyone that they were doing things, not even the gang.

“Uh… for what?” Stan answered, trying to stay cool. Well, as cool as someone can possibly talk to his homie while having a boner for another homie, who happened to stand next to him in a toilet cabin.

Kyle tried his best to make no noise whatsoever, breathing as slow as possible without biting the dust. Kenny stepped further into the boy’s bathroom and waited for the door to close.

“Kyle, yours too so listen.”

Kyle’s eyes widened and he shot an angry look at Stan, mouthing a silent ‘I told you this was a bad idea’.

“Oh goddammit, you knew that I was in here all along?” he said rolling his eyes while Stan had to bite back a smirk.

“Course I do dude, even Garrison knows you two are screwing” McCormick snorted.

“Okay gross” Stan remarked but snickered nonetheless, Kyle throwing him a scowl.

“We aren’t-… whatever. Why do you need our help?” he asked almost impatiently, folding his arms. Stan unlocked the cabin. Kenny shot a somewhat apologetic look at Marsh for ruining the opportunity, showing off his signature toothy grin.

“We gotta make things right with Butters. I told him he should stay awake tonight so we could go and-“

“Woah dude, hold it. I can’t tonight, I’m still totally fucked, I’m just gonna go to bed after school” Stan said.

“Besides, isn’t he still grounded for like the next lifetime or something?” Kyle added and cocked an eyebrow.

“So what? We’ll just sneak him out, it’s not like I've never done this before” Kenny grinned proudly, convinced that he’d just come up with a masterplan.

“Nah I’m good, dude. Don’t wanna get my ass kicked by Butters’ dad, guy’s crazy” Kyle answered while walking out of the cabin.

“Huh.” – Kenny shrugged wearing a shit eating grin – “Could’ve sworn you’re into that.” He winked  at Stan who was biting his lip in order not to laugh.

“Funny.” Kyle scolded and shot both of them an annoyed glance.

“But forreal, Kenny. I’m really tired, plus coach has set up a training session tomorrow at 6am. Sorry, dude.” Stan shrugged.

“Yeah and I have to quiz Ike on that history test which will, you know, probably take the whole night or something” Kyle lied.

“Well I’ll just pretend that I believe you two” Kenny cocked an eyebrow. “Gonna do it on my own then.”

“Great”, Stan played along, voice a little over-enthusiastic. “Now get outta here, asshole.” He grinned.

“Oh, you guys not into being watched? My bad.” McCormick mocked before getting shoved playfully by Stan.

“Alright, alright” – Kenny lifted his hands in defeat, chuckling – “but don’t have too much fun without me, yeah?”

And with a cheeky wink, he left the bathroom.

"Bastard" Stan mumbled smiling and when the door was closed completely, he turned around.

“So-” – he looked down at Kyle – “You wanna pick up where we left off?”

Redhead tilted his head and gave Stan an annoyed look.

“No, I- Jesus Stan, are you still hard?”

“Maybe?” he grinned stupidly.

“You are unbelievable” Kyle answered and walked to the sink to wash his hands. “I’m gonna go back to class now” he said, passing by Stan, opening the bathroom door.

Stan quickly fumbled around in his pants, making sure his boner wasn’t visible anymore.

“Hey wait up, dude!”