Asta felt lost, he always put a brave front for everyone, even himself. Nobody knew what was truly going on his head, he felt worthless he knew he had no magic, everyone else already had shown if they were.
The church even checked to make sure, they do not know that I know. I started self Harming last year, when I was 12, now I'm 13. I'm planning on running from the church they deserved better, I can't even use magic, i try to make it up in strength, but that only goes so far. I was going to commit suicide, so I left everything else at the church.
I left a note stating "I am sorry I left without telling anyone, I don't won t to worry you all, I'll be fine. I'm planning to go to a better place, this was no one fault only my own for being weak, and being born without magic. I'm sorry for being useless, it's all my fault. Least now you never have to deal with me again. I'll miss you most of all Yuno you are a little brother to me I love you, continue your dream even since I can't, a magicless boy wanting to be a wizard king how funny. I'll miss Sister Lily and father very much, of course I can't forget about my other siblings/orphans I love you all, and I will miss you."
I ran for a week in a random direction, only stopping briefly to rest and then continue again, sometimes when I stopped I cut my wrist a little deeper than last to get prepared for the most painful and deepest cut I've made yet.
I didn't want my family to find me sitting there, the life driven from my eyes, my blood soaked shirt from the cuts that ended it all. I have only cut my my thighs so far afraid someone would find out and take away my cure. At the time time I didn't care or notice how close I was to the capitol. I set near some tree and rolled my long sleeves up. I brought out my razor that I started and was going to end with.
I was so distracted by starting the first cut, that I didn't see him walk behind me. I didn't cut deep enough to bleed to death, when I was going deeper he said " What do you think your doing kid". I jumped startled by the voice, I started to try to cover my cut with the sleeve of my shirt, but he still noticed, he probably seen the cut before he stated me.I quickly replied, stuttering, "Nothing, why". I was nervously playing with my sleeve, he was staring where i first started to cut. He asked me "Kid don't you have family or something that will be sad if you died?" .
I replied in the most obvious tone "I'm an orphan, there all my family at the church, I'm doing this for them". He replied in a softer tone than earlier "Kid that just stupid, what makes your doing it for them, won't they be sad, worried, or something. Did you expect they be happy to find out your killing yourself for them.".
I started to go get angry he did not understand that defective, useless, worthless, and more. I replied to him "They might be sad about it, but it's better than a worthless orphan that doesn't have no magic, I can't help as much as the other sometimes I even get in the way, they'll see it's best thing for all of us. They'll forget me quickly, Yuno will grow up and follow his dreams, I can't, you know why, because I don't have magic. The wizard king can't be the wizard king without magic and I got none.".
He looked at me in surprise, probably because I'm defective and have no magic. He looked straight the eye and said "Kid I seen grown man cower just of a scrape on there skin, they try to act powerful but they're not always are. Some are so weak, that you could easily knock them out without magic. Also just because you don't have magic doesn't make you defective or anything you might just be late bloomer." .
After that I heard him say under his breath "Dam, I'm getting soft". I couldn't help it, but I let out a soft chuckle, he looked at me in surprise. I suddenly gasped, he looked at me worried, I'm pretty sure he would rather die than admit it. I than asked him "Hey, what's your name, I just realized I'm talking to a random stranger." .
I was blushing from embarrassment, it was his turn to laugh a booming laugh. He answered, "My name is Yami, captain of the Black Bulls, so are you going to tell your name kid." . I blushed again and said "My name is Asta." .
He looked at me for a second a missed to himself "weird" I thought, he started to speak up, "How about this you stay with me at the Black Bulls hideout till I can prove to you that your not useless or defective, and another thing, tell anyone about this conservation or die." . I sweatdropped, he sounded so nice earlier, scary.
I thought about it, I don't think he'll just let commit suicide somewhere near or even out of his sight, he may look mean, but I don't that something he would let happen. I'll still might be constantly watched at least I'll have a room. He can't see everywhere and anytime he has to sleep, but again I can see Yuno again. I might get stronger than him to if what Yami sir said was true, but than who still want a magicless rival and older brother.
But I decided to give him a chance, I replied "Yes, I'll go with you, but I'm doing it for the church, my family." . He nodded and started walking, signaling for me to follow. It took about 30 minutes till we reached the Black Bulls hideout. I stared in awe how big it looked. He turned toward and said "Welcome to you new home slash training area." .