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Failsafe

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You woke up to the sounds of pots and pans crashing into each other. Scowling, you threw off the smelly hoodie Sans had given you and cracked your vertebrae.

Papyrus dropped all his cookware and hurried into the living room.

"SANS - OH, IT'S YOU. YOU'RE UP EARLY."

"'Pyrus, it's two in the morning. Whatever you're cooking you don't need to be that loud."

He furrowed his brow at you. "UNDYNE SAYS MAKING LOTS OF NOISE DURING COOKING INFUSES THE FOOD WITH PASSION."

You rubbed your face. "I've worked in more kitchens than I can count. The food always knows its creator's passion."

"HOW?"

"It just does. It kinda...sings? I thought I was crazy until I heard the spider donuts in the ruins singing." You fought off a yawn.

"WHY WON'T MY BROTHER ALLOW YOU TO COOK?"

"He's afraid I'm going to kill you."

"WHY?"
So he couldn't see your "sins."

"My older brother and his friends made a series of really bad decisions. I tried to help my brother and his friends do the right thing. They refused. They captured me. I knew too much, so they planned to torture me until I died. I couldn't run, I couldn't call for help...it was kill or be killed. I chose to kill."

"You're own brother hurt you?" He whispered. "Is that why you jumped in the hole?"

"Did Sans tell you that?"

"No, my flower friend said you -."

You backed up very slowly. "You're friends with Flowey?"

"Yes. I know he can be a bit rude -"

"FLOWEY TRIED TO KILL ME AND TAKE MY SOUL!"

"what's going on."

You glared at Sans, who was glowering at both of you from halfway down the stairs. "Are you friends with Flowey, too?"

"no. my bro isn't, either."

"He just called Flowey his 'flower friend' and Flowey told him I jumped into the ruins."

San's perma-grin widened. "paps is friends with everyone. he's that cool."

"He's cool, but I didn't jump."

"you probably hit your head, that's why you don't remember. you have to want to leave the surface...it's the only way to even see the entrance"

You refused to play along.

"I was camping with my fiancee, my best friend, and her fiance. We got drunk! I had to pee in the middle of the night and I fell in this godforsaken hole! I'm not suicidal! And I'm not a 'dirty brother-killer', either!"

You put your hands in your pockets, feeling the pouch of gold coins you'd collected from being nice, the latest haul being a reward for removing Gyftrot's cumbersome decorations. "I'm going to stay at the Inn for a while."

You grabbed Sans' hoodie and your backpack in case the Inn had a laundry service, then headed out the door into the still-sleeping town.