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Endurance

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The hospital seems to blind her with all the whiteness even though it was still night outside.

Undyne sits in the waiting room like a rock. Like she can hold all of the things she’s feeling all inside, like she can avoid facing with her despair, sadness and anger and… fear. Maybe if she doesn’t move an inch and keep staring at her clenched hands, now sitting on her lap with what should be a painful grip she doesn’t feel, maybe she wouldn’t crumble apart and stay strong. She feels like she’s in a haze.

She tries to recall what happened, how she let this happen… after she promised… vowed to protect her no matter what.

Everything is like one of those nightmares she had about a fight between the human she can’t win no matter what in a melted form.

Even though everything was alright, Alphys looked so happy not long ago. Not covered in dust, not lying on the side of a road, circled around by humans who just watched them.

She gulped when she recalled parts of what happened with a faint rawness on her throat… why was it painful when she gulped? Oh, right… she had yelled her throat out to the police officers who were just doing their jobs for not letting her go see her wife. But in the end she had to tell them what happened word by word. Then she was finally allowed to come here, and it didn’t change anything… Alphys was still in that operating table fighting for her life, alone and Undyne can’t do anything to help except sit here and wait.

How could she allow this to happen?

She remembers getting out of the airlines with Alphys. She was still rambling about something she saw on one of those anime stores in Japan but Undyne doesn’t remember what she specifically said. And then they needed to cross to the other side of the road, and Undyne got distracted… she got distracted by a couple who walked past them with their child without realizing the traffic lights turning red from green and cars stopped moving and Alphys started walking, letting go of Undyne’s hand. Maybe Alphys too was distracted by something when she took three… no four steps forward and then everything happened so suddenly.

Suddenly… suddenly she says but it didn’t feel suddenly at all. What happened in two minutes seemed like hours to Undyne. Alphys’s final step, the blurry redness of the car, the sound of the tires trying to stop as the driver realizes what he’s done… doing, shrieks of the other people as they saw what was happening, Alphys’s body violently hitting the road below, car finally stopping too late.

Undyne couldn’t do anything to stop it, she just watched it happen in pure terror and when everything was over when she ran up to Alphys’s side. She was barely breathing, the eyes that looked at her just seconds ago was now closed. Undyne slowly cupped her face and looked at her for a moment.

Undyne felt all of the urges about begging- demanding Alphys to wake up, to open her eyes, to call her name over and over until she answered. But this wasn’t one of those dramatic shows they watched and she pulled herself together before she started to yell or weep from all the things that was happening just after they returned from their honeymoon.

She did what any reasonable adult should do and called an ambulance, as the driver sat on the sidewalk beside them after Undyne literally growled at him to get to fuck out of her sight.

Normally Undyne would try to be understanding. She would say, maybe the guy was just distracted to notice the red light and that it was a good thing that he took responsibility and not ran away the second he saw what happened. But she couldn’t think reasonably, not when Alphys was lying in front of her with specks of dust.

After they brought Alphys to the hospital and when the police came was a blur. Because fury took over once Alphys was out of her sight, she was injured and she looked like she was-… Undyne couldn’t do anything… couldn’t help Alphys with this, yet she still wanted to be beside her. Was that so much to ask? She had thought.

After the deal with the police was over, she was now here… waiting for the doctors to finish tending to Alphys for hours. Without moving, without talking unless it was doctors.

How could she let this happen?

She was the leader of the royal guard. She trained with Asgore for hell’s sake! She should’ve noticed, she should’ve been able to stop this. She was better than this-

Finally a doctor came out of the emergency room and told her that they did what they could and that they weren’t sure when Alphys was going to wake up. They said some more bullshit about monster anatomy and shit but they fell on deaf ears…

She calls Papyrus with numb hands as they moved Alphys to a room and tells him what happened with a voice that seemed distant to Undyne. He says he’ll come within half an hour. She thinks she should’ve called him sooner.

Undyne sits back and feels that despite all of her effort she was crumbling down and emotions were leaking through the cracks. It’s okay… she can endure this, Alphys was fighting for her life, and all Undyne doing was sitting here and waiting… It was nothing… She wasn’t doing anything. She buries her head into her palms while closing her eyes and taking deep breaths.

After opening her eyes, she realizes her shirt was covered in dust and has to stop herself from shaking and holds her breath.

She hopes Papyrus comes here fast.

 


 

“Undyne?” She raised her head when she heard Papyrus’s worried voice, “Are you okay?”

Undyne just shook her head, she couldn’t use her voice. He sat beside her and stayed silent for a moment

“How is she?” Papyrus asked quietly, his normally cheerful and loud voice was now replaced with seriousness.

She sighed. “They say that she’s in a coma…”

“…” Papyrus didn’t say anything while ignoring her shivering which is good because if he said anything to comfort Undyne she would have thrown him out the window. They just sit in silence and even that is somehow better for Undyne.

She’s glad that her friend is at least with her and they start to wait for a whole night for Alphys to wake up and Undyne feels that her cracks couldn’t hold anything anymore and emotions were leaking out which makes her agitated. She paces around like the emotions won’t come out if she walks up and down.

 “Do you want to talk about it?” Papyrus asks eventually when Undyne got up and started pacing around for the fifth time through the night.

She sits back down. “What?” At least she has come down a bit from the shock after what happened.

Papyrus gives her a look. “What happened?”

She shakes her head and gulps again. “We… were crossing the street and I… I got distracted and then she got hit by a car…”  She sighs, how could she have been so fucking stupid? “They arrested the driver.”

They stay silent as Undyne tries to breathe in rhythm.

“It wasn’t your fault, Undyne.” Papyrus states quietly.

This makes Undyne finally blow up. “But it fucking is! I got distracted, fucking distracted! I was the leader of the royal god for fucks sake! I was the one who was supposed to protect her if something happened and now she’s lying there and I can’t do shit!” She sits in silence, breathing heavily.

“You know that’s bullshit, Undyne.” Papyrus rarely used curses, even the good old bullshit. “Accidents happen.”

She shook her head. “What if she-“ She couldn’t finish that sentence.

“She’ll be fine.” Papyrus says sternly. “She’ll come back as long as you believe in her and don’t give up.”

Undyne doesn’t know if injuries worked like that but like hell she’s giving up.

So they start waiting and she lets the emotions take over.

The emotions comes one by one. After her sheer panic comes anger; she wants to tear death apart for trying to take her even though she knew she shouldn't be angry at this world for everything that happened to Alphys, then comes desperation; she keeps telling herself that Alphys is fine and she'll wake up through the whole night without sleeping, then comes sadness; what if she loses her? What if she has to go back to their house without her? Who was gonna break that silence with a ramble? Who was gonna scold her when she almost sets the kitchen on fire? And at the end of all of this... She was just tired, the emotions were so overwhelming that they emptied her head, all she can do is sit and wait.

That was the most painful part. She couldn't do anything besides sitting here and wait for Alphys to fight for her life.

When she closes her eyes and opens them for a moment it was morning already, and someone she really doesn’t want to see right now was standing in front of her.

“Good morning.” Sans greets her.

“The heck are you doing here?” She didn’t mean to be angry but she was too tired to be nice.

“Just got worried after he flung himself out the window after a call.” He said gesturing to Papyrus who was miraculously sleeping.

She stared at Papyrus in wonder. “Holy shit, he’s sleeping.”

“He normally… doesn’t?” Sans asked with a confused tone. Undyne… had a lot of things to say about that, no she has shit ton of questions about that. First of all, the two of them live in the same house, how can he not know? The second of all, even if Papyrus managed to make Sans think he was sleeping, how could Sans not notice the rings under Papyrus’s eyes?

Is she really thinking about this when her wife is literally in a coma?

She sighs and thinks her stupidity was because she just woke up. “He really helps me a lot… I should thank him after all of this.”

“Hey, you can always cook his favorite dish, spaghetti.” Sans offered. Yeah… Papyrus was fond of it after all…

“That abomination we call spaghetti is not my favorite dish.” Papyrus mumbled and rubbed his sockets.

Undyne looked at him with shock. “It… isn’t?”

Papyrus looked like he was insulted. “No, of course not! I have standards!”

Sans looked just as shocked as Undyne. “Bro, then why’d you made other people eat it?”

“I didn’t want the food to go to waste, of course! Nyeheh! The great Papyrus is also great at being thoughtful!” He was fooling nobody with that grin!

Papyrus got up and walked out as Undyne stared after him with Sans, not knowing what to think. Sans looked like he was having an aneurysm and Undyne feels her last remaining brain cells dying.

They stayed silent for a moment to recover from that and Sans sat down beside her after a minute.

“How can you not know your besties favorite food?” Sans finally said.

“How can you not know your brother has unhealthy sleeping patterns and also not know his favorite food?” Undyne retorted.

They stayed silent after that in shame for different reasons.

Undyne sighed, she wasn’t in the mood with dealing with Sans. “I haven’t got to thank you…” She mentioned.

“For what?”

“You’re the one who recommended Alphys to a therapist, right? I wanted to thank you for that. She’s been…” Undyne paused for a moment. “… Getting better.” This was true. Alphys was getting better, she was stuttering less, and her bad days happened less.

“You should thank him for that.” Sans gestured the corridor Papyrus walked away a moment ago. “He’s the one who pushed me to talk to her. I just talked to a good friend of mine and mentioned it to Alphys.”

She really needed to find a way to thank Papyrus for all of the things he’s done… doing for her.

 


 

Out of all the people Undyne expected to come here worried, Mettaton wasn’t one of them. Undyne didn’t like to make assumptions but she didn’t like the way Mettaton made Alphys have this sort of sad smile like she lost a dear friend.

But when he worriedly asks, “Is she okay? What happened?” Undyne couldn’t help but feel empathy towards him. That feeling towards him grew when he learned that Alphys was in a coma.

Undyne hadn’t interacted with Mettaton much. Alphys would sometimes bring him to her house and he would do ridiculous stuff and for some reason he was interested in her neighbor and Shyren, and even though he looked like he didn’t care much about Alphys they seemed like friends, and that he was a robot she created. But that’s all she knew.

Papyrus still hadn’t come back after he walked off with leaving her questioning her sanity, and Sans had left after he was sure Papyrus was fine. And this is why Undyne and Mettaton were sitting beside each other in awkward silence as any other people would do with their acquaintance.

Mettaton cleared his throat to get her attention. “I can wait here if you have things to do.”

Undyne looked at him to ask what the fuck he was talking about. This was her wife, what else could she have anything to do besides sitting here and wait for her to get better? And she realized Mettaton was looking down rather than her face, and she followed his gaze to look at her outfit.

Oh.

She stopped breathing at the sight of Alphys’s dust on her shirt. The memory was still fresh but too far away, but it was still able to make her stare at the dust and just think what would happen if only dust had been left behind. What would she do if-

The sudden feeling of a hand being put on her shoulder pulled her back to reality. “That is a really good idea, Mettaton! Me and Undyne should visit her house to get some things Alphys might need! Right, Undyne?” Papyrus gave her a cheerful look, but there was a hint of empathy behind it. Undyne wonders how she didn’t notice Papyrus being this perceptive back in the underground… or ever.

Why was she always noticing things when it was too late?

 


 

The house was quiet and dark when Undyne came in. Weird… She doesn’t remember coming face to face with a silent house. There would always be a sound of Japanese song from an anime opening would greet her with certain lizards smile whenever Undyne came home.

This shouldn’t be making her feel like her heart was shattering but it still does and Undyne takes a deep breath as Papyrus puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Dr. Alphys would need spare clothes right?” He asked kindly. Undyne feels an urge to give Papyrus a no-hetero hug but she feels too overwhelmed to take an action at the moment so she just settles on nodding and opening the curtains to let the sunlight in.

 She quietly goes into the bedroom as Papyrus disappears into the kitchen.

The room was cluttered because Alphys wasn’t fond of cleaning and Undyne was too worked up for their honeymoon to consider cleaning their house before they left.

Undyne slowly takes out an anime shirt Alphys loved but was too embarrassed to wear it outside and other things she liked. Undyne slowly puts them all in a bag along with some manga’s and books. And she finally takes out her dusty outfit and puts them into the laundry pile before randomly choosing another thing to wear.

When she goes back out to retrieve Papyrus to go back he just tells her to give him a minute and Undyne sits down on their couch, suddenly having the urge to inspect everything on their house like it’s the first time she saw it.

It was weird… Even though Undyne was used to living alone her whole life, the house seemed empty… Lifeless without Alphys. Was it always like this? Was she always living in an empty house devoid of warmth back in the underground?

Undyne was alone through her whole life. Unlike Alphys, she never knew her parents, she lived on the streets before an old turtle took her in. She likes to think that her having no parents hasn’t bothered her a bit, she had no use crying after people who left her.

Maybe that’s why this was making her lose control over holding her emotions. After experiencing the feeling of having a family, she was afraid of losing it.

Unlike what Alphys thinks, she knew what she was signing up for when she fell in love and she wasn't gonna regret it one bit no matter what happens.

Love is when two people share good and bad moments, when two people support each other no matter what, when they accept their good and bad sides.

She loves the Alphys who likes nerdy animes and manga’s, she loves the Alphys who rambles on and on about science shit she doesn't even understand, she loves Alphys who has bad days but tries her best nonetheless.

Alphys doesn't see the person Undyne loves but that's okay she'll say it again and again, and she'll make sure Alphys loves herself too one day.

One thing she had learned from her experience with Alphys was that she needed to hear these things again and again. She would remind Alphys that she was loved and needed and everything would be alright, she would scream it to the world if she had to, fight the death itself if he came at her door.

She shouldn’t be anxious about these things when it wasn’t even two days since Alphys went into a coma.

Papyrus finally comes back from the kitchen with plates. Undyne wasn’t sure if she can stomach something when her stomach was boiling with anxiety… Wait, did he just baked a pie?

“You know how to bake?” Of course he knew…

Papyrus nodded with a bitter smile. Undyne wonders if she caused it through the years he was taking cooking lessons from her.

“You never told me you could…” She murmured as she took a bite. It was decent… No, it was awesome. Why did Papyrus played along with her when Papyrus was the most decent cook out of the two of them, Undyne wonders.

Papyrus shrugged. “I guess, I wasn’t ready for it.” Undyne feels like he was talking about a lot of things about himself. Maybe Papyrus too, had problems about being himself like Alphys for some reasons.

She hopes everything would turn back to normal and they can talk about these things.

Undyne obviously couldn’t finish all of the plate but she was grateful for Papyrus trying to make her relax or calm in some way.

 


 

Being hopeful wasn’t as easy as she thought.

First it wasn’t even two days, then it became two days… two days became five and then five became seven.

Seven days.

Alphys was in coma for seven days.

The nurses were starting to give her pitying looks, the doctors started to have this hopeless look in their eyes whenever they checked on Alphys. And through this entire time Undyne hasn’t left her side for seven days. She held her hand, talked to her about what they would do once they got out of this hauntingly white hospital that reminded Undyne about a white light she sees on her nightmares. Tells her that she loves her, that she misses her…

That She misses Alphys’s smile, her ramblings, her getting worked up over anime, her scolding Undyne every time she tries to clean the bedroom, saying that her manga’s had a specific order and she was ruining it, misses the way she got embarrassed whenever Undyne found a fanfiction about them.

She tells Alphys that all those fanfiction she wrote about them was real now. That, it wasn’t time for her to go now, they haven’t even got to enjoy their marriage first. It’s okay if she feels like she’s shouldering all of the world’s weight, Undyne would help her. She was here. She would always be here. Alphys’s burdens were her burdens now. That she wouldn't carry them alone now or ever again.

She tells all of these to Alphys while clutching her hand like she can prevent her from leaving and Undyne realizes the wetness on her cheeks.

“Undyne…?” A weak, raspy voice calls out to her through the blurriness, and the hand Undyne was holding clutches back.

Undyne gasps at the sight of Alphys looking at her with wide eyes and she wipes her tears before yelling for a nurse.

Alphys kept looking at Undyne through the crowd of nurses and the doctor, at her wife who was crying.

 


 

Alphys’s recovery was slow but steady. Undyne helps her through it. Whenever she has trouble walking, Undyne is there to lend her a shoulder, whenever she feels bored or troubled, Undyne’s there to distract her from it.

And a month after Alphys woke up, Undyne was given permission to take her home.

She slowly helps Alphys walk out of the hospital stairs and clutches her hand tightly when they had to cross across the street.

‘But it’s okay now’, Alphys says to Undyne. Alphys had fought hard to come back. To live. She said as she clutched Undyne’s hand. Their rings shining under the sun. Undyne hadn’t lost her… Their future and family.

They smiled as they went back home.

 

~The End~