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Oodles of Noodles

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He swirls entire layers of noodles, spinning them into a massive ball, the act resulting in tomato sauce splashing everywhere, until his fork can't carry any more.

Data and Lore watch, eyes glued with silent fascination at the starchy orb as he brings it up to his mouth. Lore’s eyes widen while Data’s face remains impassive, but still attentive, as Dr. Noonian Soong attempts to eat: noodles slip from the fork, unable to all fit in his mouth; they smear up his chin. Sauce dribbles down to his shirt. It’s a mess, but he gets most of it in.

The two pairs of eyes follow slowly as the fork goes back down into the plate. Lore blinks excitedly as it nears a large meatball.

"There are instructional videos if you’re curious,” Dr. Soong says irritably, no longer able to keep this up. “Or eating videos for entertainment purposes.”

“We are observing your caloric intake in one sitting,” Lore informs.

“You've far exceeded your daily caloric intake required for your body, weight, and calorie burn rate,” Data said.

"By double,” Lore added.

“He’s close to triple,” Data informs Lore.

Dr. Soong set his fork down. He suddenly can’t take another bite.