Deceit hated when the others would lie to themselves and to each other, he hated being able to hear their every little thought. Right now, Patton's was the loudest, the fatherly side constantly berating himself, telling himself that he can't do anything right and that the others just wished he would go away. Deceit couldn't ignore it anymore, the snake-like side sinks out of his room and appears in the den of nostalgia, the sight of Patton sitting in the floor hugging his knees tight to his chest broke the smaller sides heart. "Why... W-Why can't I just be more mature? Why can't I just be better at my job!" Patton cries as he grips his hair with both hands, Deceit bites his lip and steps forward gently untangling Patton's fingers from his brown locks. Deceit offers the fatherly side a small smile when Patton looks up with tear-filled brown eyes.
"That won't make it better, Patton. Trust me..." Deceit says as he squeezes the fatherly side's hands. Patton frowns and sniffles, 'What is he doing here?' Patton thought the familiar feeling of disgust going through him.
"You do a good job at what you do, Patton. I know it may seem like that the other's don't care... But they do. I care too and... If... If you let me I can take on the weight of your thoughts, i-it you want me to." Deceit mumbles as he once again flashes Patton a smile, the fatherly side furrows his brows in confusion.
"W-Why would you want to help me?" Patton asks as he pulls one of his hands away from the snake-like side, Deceit rubs the back of his neck as he looks away from Patton. Deceit takes a deep breath and lets out a quiet laugh, he had to get Patton to trust him so it was time he dropped this whole tough guy act.
"I care about you and it's my job as Thomas' self-preservation to keep him and all of his sides safe, not to mention that... That I was hoping we could be friends. I know, there have been questionable things that I've done to you guys, but that doesn't mean we can't put all of that behind us, does it?" Deceit asks, Patton tilts his head slightly and smirks, Deceit takes the action as something friendly when in reality it was the exact opposite.
"So... You can take all of these thoughts away? How?" Patton asks softly, putting on his best innocent face. Deceit lights up and sits in front of Patton on the floor with his legs crossed underneath him. Patton watches as Deceit pulls his gloves off revealing scaly hands and slightly sharp nails, the fatherly side fights the urge to cringe away at the hideous sight.
"Give me your hands, good. Now, tell me all of your problems and make them mine," Deceit says as he locks his fingers together with Patton's. The moral side blinks his eyes hard when he notices the faint yellow glow coming from Deceit's hands.
"I... I feel useless when it comes to helping Thomas, I feel as if he doesn't need me as much as he needs the others. I cause him to make bad choices, make him feel horrible... Make him do things that he doesn't want to do. The others see me as the childish happy go lucky side and part of me hates it, part of me hates myself... Cause I'm the bad person here... N-Not Thomas... I-Its me..." Patton whispers, Deceit grits his teeth and holds onto Patton's hands tighter. Taking in those loud lies made the smaller sides entire body burn, it didn't help that Patton was beginning to believe these lies either. Once the burning subsides, Deceit takes a shaky breath and releases Patton's hands, instantly putting his gloves back on.
"B-Better?" Deceit stammers, Patton grins and wipes away any stray tears that were left behind from his breakdown.
"Sure, am kiddo! Say... Do you think we could do this whenever I'm feeling down? I know I should talk to the other's like I promised, but there's no need to burden them with this, ya know?" Deceit gives Patton a shaky smile and slowly nods as he pulls himself up from the floor stumbling slightly, Deceit takes a shaky breath and shakes his head gently.
"Y-Yes, I don't mind helping... A friend out. If these thoughts come up again, don't hesitate to come to me okay?" Patton forces a grin and nods, Deceit smiles back and sinks out of the den of nostalgia. Patton drops his grin into a little smirk as he straightens his hoodie on his shoulders.
"We're far from friends, kiddo."
Everything was burning when Deceit returned to his room, Patton's constant negative thinking felt so much like the truth that it physically hurt. 'Not good enough, never good enough! Be better, be stronger! SHOW THEM YOU'RE BETTER!' Deceit flinches at the scolding voice in his head, the smaller side collapses to his knees as he takes in a shuddering breath, mentally telling himself to follow the breathing exercises they had learned. The fiery pain slowly ebbed away, only leaving behind a dull ache in his bones. Deceit hated doing this, but if he was going to be Patton's friend then he had to do something.
"I-It's okay, I'm okay."
A few days later Patton's burden began to feel a little too much for Deceit, the constant negative thoughts nagging at him to be better, to be nicer to the sides. Telling him that he was evil and that evil people need to be put down. He wasn't sure if those were Patton's thoughts or his own speaking to him, "Hey, kiddo! Say... Do you mind... Doing that little thing again? Today hasn't been... Great." Patton's voice startles him out of his thoughts, Deceit blinks slowly and looks up at the fatherly side. Patton did look to be a little under the weather, bags under his eyes, at least they looked like bags to Deceit, in reality, it was only smudges of eyeshadow that Patton had borrowed from Virgil.
"I um... I-I don't know Patton, last time... Really took a lot out of me you know? I'm still struggling with the other thoughts..." Deceit mumbles, silently hoping that Patton would offer to talk to him about them.
"But... But you said not to hesitate with coming to you! Was... W-Was all of that just a lie?" Patton asks, his voice growing thick with tears as his brown eyes grow shiny. Deceit tenses and quickly takes the fatherly sides hands.
"N-No! I'm sorry! It wasn't a lie, we... W-We can do it! I'll help you." Deceit quickly assures as he squeezes Patton's hands, the fatherly side sniffles and flashes the smaller side a wavering smile.
"T-Thank you, Dee, you're such a good friend," Patton whispers. Deceit smiles and quickly pulls his gloves off before taking Patton's hands again, this time the negative thoughts didn't hurt as bad, but something had... Changed about them. 'You're the bad guy, you'll never be good in their eyes!' Deceit swallows thickly as he releases Patton's hands pulling his gloves back on.
"T-There, all done!" Deceit exclaims, forcing happiness into his tone of voice. The smaller side flinches when Patton just sinks out, leaving him alone in the commons with his new negative thoughts that just kept repeating one thing, 'You're nothing.'
"I-I can't... I-I can't handle this," Deceit whispers as he curls in on himself. Its been a week since he helped Patton, the thoughts were becoming worse and he didn't know what to do. Maybe... Maybe Patton might help him, let Deceit vent to him a little. Deceit takes a shaky breath and sinks out of his room appearing in Patton's, the fatherly side looked to be in a great mood.
"P-Patton? C-Can I talk to you?" Deceit made sure to speak loud enough for the fatherly side to hear him because if he was being honest it was hard for him to speak without getting choked up.
"Can it wait? I'm a little busy here," Patton replies, not even looking at the smaller side. Deceit looks down and mutters a quiet oh.
"S-Sure... I-I'm sorry," Deceit mumbles as he sinks out. Patton smirks, 'And let the games begin.'