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i'm suffering inside your magic

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2. Light on your feet -- BAZ

Snow had only asked to borrow a shirt (he didn’t need to ask, but he did anyways), so when I find him standing in my bedroom wearing my dancing shoes with his shirt and jeans, I sneer and call him a fool. (Of course I do. How else have I been known to act around him?) Then, because I am a romantic sap and because the very sight of Snow makes me weak, we sit on the edge of the bed and I pull Snow’s feet onto my lap to help him properly lace the shoes. 

He tries to protest. He’s blabbering, as usual. “No, Baz... It was-- it was a stupid idea. I just wanted to try them on, I don’t-- I wasn’t actually going to dance.”

“Too late,” I say as I tie the laces on his other foot. “You already have the proper shoes on.”

He rolls his eyes. But the edge of his lip curls up, and it’s that kind of lopsided smile that tugs at my heart until it swells with warmth, which I’m almost always devoid of. 

“Only you would care about having the right shoes on,” he mutters.

I ignore him. “Moreover, you have a dance partner.”

Snow glances around me, searching. “Do I? I can’t seem to find a bloke wearing dancing shoes anywhere near me.”

He almost gets a smirk out of me. I spin around to find another pair of shoes to put on, but really I’m turning away before I can betray myself. Dancing shoes on, I extend my hand out to him.

“Care to dance?” I ask.

He’s still sitting on the edge of the bed and he considers my hand. Then he glances at my feet before bringing his blue eyes back to my gaze. I can’t believe how nervous I am while waiting for his response. He’s been my boyfriend for four months for Crowley’s sake.

Snow smiles, a confident, teasing, brilliant grin. “Only because you have the right shoes.” 

He takes my hand and lets me pull him close. 

When we’re decidedly close enough, Simon lets go of my hand. I despair for a fraction of a second but then he cups my face with his palms and runs his hands slowly along my jaw, my chin, my neck, warming my skin with his. “Not because I love you or anything,” he adds, leaning closer, and pressing a feather light kiss on my chin.

“You’re the idiot who put the dancing shoes on in the first place,” I say. He laughs, and I close the distance to kiss him properly.

I cast “ Light on your feet ” so that we are not a complete graceless mess when we dance. (We are two matching messes, after all.) The spell turns out stronger than anticipated. We begin to float as we dance. Every step leaves a glowing footprint and takes us higher and higher into the air. 

It’s just more evidence that being with Simon Snow is magic, maybe even something beyond magic.

“How do you feel?” I ask.

“Light, like I’m not weighed down by anything,” Snow replies. “What about you?”

“Infinite,” I say into the air in between us and pull Snow closer. Because that’s what being with Simon Snow felt like, and I want that feeling to be endless.


3. trigger warning, self harm -- take comfort -- SIMON

I can tell when something’s wrong; I was the worst Chosen One ever chosen and I am a terrible boyfriend, but I’d like to think that at least I’m not the worst boyfriend. So when I find Baz in bed, staring down at his hands, I climb in, because I know what’s wrong. I pull his hands to my face, kissing the flammable palms that were calloused and warm from fire, and all the while murmuring into his skin i’m here, there, there and take comfort , allowing Baz to draw what he wished from me, whether it was care, sympathy, or affection, and offering whatever Baz needed to feel better, all of my warmth, compassion, and tenderness.


7. I believe in yesterday -- BAZ

It’s not fair, I keep repeating in my head. It’s not fair at all that Simon Snow was the most powerful mage alive and now I’m pulling on a black suit, preparing to watch them lower his body into the ground. When I was gathering my clothes, my eyes were frozen on the grey suit in my closet, the one Snow wore for Christmas dinner. I stared at the suit and my fingers lingered on it for too long.

I always knew I’d be the one most miserable to see him gone, but this isn’t right.

Everyone only gets to use this spell once in their lives. I always thought I’d save it to use at my deathbed, to see my mother again. Simon Snow is challenging that thought. 

I brace myself, raising my wand in the air, thinking of Simon Snow as I say, “ I believe in yesterday .



10. No spell -- BAZ

Snow pouts. The Chosen One doesn’t get what he wants, so his ridiculous lips are stuck out. It ruins me.

“That’s not fair.”

He frowns at me. “What’s not fair?” he asks.

I said that out loud. Crowley. 

“Baz, what’s not fair?”

Suddenly he's more invested due to my lack of response. His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. His eyes are wider, I swear. I love him.

“Don’t do that.” Crowley, I need to shut up.

He is baffled, and now his frustration is showing. “What? What do you-- What are you even--”

He’s adorable when he’s flustered. I feel so warm I wonder if I can die from this.