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White Mustang

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Summer's meant for loving and leaving
I was such a fool for believing that you
Could change all the ways you've been living
But you just couldn't stop

Seeing her mother cried because of had yelled by her father then in the end left his wife and his children, that time Otome’s thought of men has changed. Not just that, when she was in elementary school and saw one of her classmate had been bullied by the boys. It reminds her of the incident when her mother cried because of her father.

‘Why the others didn’t do anything and just saw an innocent girl crying and bullied by those brats? What is her fault anyway until you make her cry like that?’
Otome moved by her own and she stood up in front of the boy, as she’s been known terrifying girl because of her creepy stare, just gave them a cold stare while yelling ‘STOP IT!’everyone turned pale as if they just saw a ghost then they back off even the others got scared too, except the girls they cheer up Otome’s brave action.

Then Otome grown her hateful towards men, she always entered a school for ladies from the middle school until the college. In the school, she was adored and admired. Her state which is so beautiful, generous, and talented made her colleagues even her teachers thought Otome is The Empress.

As a grown up woman, Otome couldn’t hate towards men forever because she is a lady then of course she needs them as a part for her future. Even though at her adolescence she didn’t often hang out with the boys, it doesn’t meant she will have a problem to find his right man. At the convention of politicians, Otome used this opportunity to find her future husband and if she failed then she had to ask for an arranged marriage.

Though she’d already dressed up elegantly and many men attracted towards her for asking an introduction but none of them attract Otome’s heart, also most of them are masher men and gold digger. But there is one man who makes The Empress intrested, a silver haired guy with a military uniform, his looks much younger than Otome and he is playing poker with another guests. Otome’s heart skips a beat when he laughs full of joy.

Otome walks towards that guy then she challenges him to play the poker. If she wins then that guy must marry her. At first he widened his eyes then he smirks and accepts the challenge full of confident. In the end Otome wins and without any objection, that guy just smiles at Otome and they spend all time together alone to get known each other at the party. Then several weeks later, they get married. 

Otome had been told the reason why that man accepted her victory without any objection, because her husband really settled it to attract Otome so she could came to him since she was really hard to get woman. Her thoughts of men changed when she got married. Unlike the other men, her husband is so kind, unique, and interesting guy. He is the only guy who can make her smile and laugh happily.

*

The Empress who used to be tomboyish, now she becomes feminine as she has a boy named Dice, and she is The Queen of her husband and his little boy, The Little Prince. Those are happy days for a falling in love woman like Otome. But the things have changed on her little prince’s 8th birthday.

“Mama, I am home!” Dice ran over towards his mommy who was reading. Otome welcomed her son with the warmth hug.
“Where have you been? You skipped your violin lesson again today.” Otome asked with a gentle tone like her mother did to her when she was Dice’s age.
Thought his mommy would be angry at him, Dice low his head and apologizes nervously.

“Don’t mad at him, Otome. Let him have some fun for once, he must be exhausted from his school and lessons.” Her husband said while coming in to the library room then he strokes his son head.
As if there is sparkling star inside Dice’s eyes, “Hear me out, Mama! Papa was so amazing when he beat many people at poker and pachinko. Then, we got a lot of money from there!”

Otome wanted to give a scold her son and husband but instead she gave a smile and a gentle stroke on head to her son who looks happy.
“Sounds fun. Oh my, it’s almost dinner time, go bath, Dice. Mama will see you at dining room later.”
Dice nodded then left his parents alone in the library room.

 “My dear, I think casino is not a play ground for a seven-years-old boy.” Otome sighed at his prince charming who used to handsome and happy but now he looks mess and depress.
“He will be 8 on tomorrow, Otome. He just watched his papa playing around. You just saw how happy he is.” Her husband said while grinning, but as a mother, Otome still doesn’t agree.

“You’ve been acted weird lately, you are gambling too much and coming home late. Is there something happened? I am your wife so you can talk to me and we can figure it out together.” Otome came closer to her husband then caress his cheek which feels hairy.
That guy hugged Otome, “You are really amazing woman, Otome. Thank you but this is not the right time, maybe later.”

Otome gave pats over her husband’s back, “I see. Right, because tomorrow is our first boy’s birthday so I ask you to shave your facial hair and to trim your hair. I want you look charming in front of your queen and your little prince.”
He laughs, “Alright, alrighty then….” Then he embraced Otome once more and this time is more tightly.
“I love you, Otome. So does with Dice.”
It’s been a long time Otome didn’t hear word of ‘love’ coming from her husband, her lips is happy but her heart is not.

On the next day which today is Dice’s 8th birthday, Otome and Dice have prepared to go to the fancy restaurant, when Otome want to call her husband ready to go at their room that man is no longer in there and the only this she found is a divorce paper.

Otome cannot believe from what she just received, why would her husband divorce her though they hugged and he said that he loved her yesterday? Why though, why…Otome always been an obedient wife and a good mother, how could her true love do this to her? Also, what is she supposed to tell to Dice that his father’s suddenly gone?

When she heard sound of engine car, Otome’s taking her rush towards the window and she can see her husband left with his favorite car, white Mustang. Otome cannot accept the divorce like there is no problem, she needs the explanation from that guy directly.
Otome saw Dice is sitting in the front door then she goes towards her son, “What are doing in here alone, Dice?”

 “Mama…Papa just left and he didn’t tell me where, but Papa gave this. He said this is a present for me.” Dice answered while grabbing the hair beads that usually been worn by his daddy on his hair and this time there is a little dice shape in it. So his father already said goodbye to his own son.

 “Dice, come and wait inside with Yamato. There is something mama needs to take care about. I am sorry that your birthday party needs to be postponed.” Otome persuade her son and he nodded obediently, poor boy because he doesn’t know nothing, and probably this is the worst birthday ever for him.

Dice’s mommy drives immediately with her blue Mustang to that man where he will be and Otome knows where his destination. The road tunnel on hillside, his favorite place where he could clear up his mind as he could see the view of the city from there.

While driving, Otome realized that there is something wrong with that man. Yesterday was not the first time he acted weird, several years ago they have argued each other because her husband almost spending all family company’s money for gambling and Dice used to said that he saw her dad have been with someone (neither man nor woman) naked in the car. Dice told that to Otome and she heard out from the child’s mouth.

When she arrived, Otome can see her husband’s car and he was standing outside while viewing the city. Otome got out from the car while slamming the car’s door and she can see there is someone inside that white Mustang. A woman, no… a man, his beautiful face tricked Otome. When Otome meets eyes with that beautiful man wearing a yukata, that man just lowered his head.

“I knew you will come, Otome.” Said that man who will be her ex-husband.
“Why are you doing this? Suddenly disappeared with divorced paper on your son’s birthday.” Otome asked, tried to be calm. Then she takes her breath, “Is it because of him?” She means that yukata guy.

“I am tired for lying to you and Dice. He was the man I loved before I met you, Otome. Because of my family, I need to abandon him and try to forget him. By married and had a kid, I almost can forget about him, but he came all the way from the country to find me. Because of him, I realize that I love him.”

“So you ready to leave your family and your status for his sake?” Otome asked again.
“Yes, I already prepared for everything so I can stay by his side. I give everything I left to you, Otome. I think Dice will be better if he stays with his mama. You are a great woman and mother, Otome. That’s why I love you….”

They are facing each other and Otome flinches her fists.
“Say the rest I need to hear it!”
“But I love him more.”
Hearing his saying brokes Otome’s heart but somehow she feels relief.

Otome takes off her wedding ring then throws off to the cliff,
“In that case, don’t you dare show your face in front of me even of Dice! I won’t hesitate myself to do anything for getting rid of you.”
That man nodded and they both walk away to their own cars. That moment Otome lost her first and last love.

On the way to home, Otome finally realized that boys will be boys and in the end she just like her mother, abandoned and hurted by a man. Although her heart is broken, Otome doesn’t cry at all. She wanted to but she can’t, the only thing she can do is gripping the steering wheel and driving fastly. Otome even asked to herself, Why am I staying? Even though I was eventually abandoned like this?’
Then Dice’s face occurred on her mind, she decided to be strong and raise Dice by her own.

Her hatred towards man becomes stronger than before after she was divorced. She becomes a harsh lady to anyone who disrespect and underestimate her just because she is a woman. She even has a goal to become a prime minister of Japan and she will change the position all women that superior than men. That feminine and gentle Queen was gone, now she is the feminist Queen and she is the enemy of all men.

Even her own son despised her, when Otome came home she said to her son,
“Your father is gone.”
He cried while clinging on his mommy. From the inside, Otome cursed that bastard, “Not my son, you son of bitch!”
She will never forgive him because he made her son crying.

Because she doesn’t want her own son ended up like her ex-husband, Otome started to become stricter to Dice. He’s always been charged for being the best so his lesson was extremely increased. Dice who was still little boy he was still afraid of his mother who was no longer same in his sight. No longer hugging, caressing, and kissing.

The boring and strict lectures end when Dice graduated from high school, because he became tired of his mother that made him not interested to take the heir of family’s company and finally The Prince escaped from his ‘palace’ and The Queen, his mother.

“I am so sorry that Young Master ran away from home, Madam.” Said the middle-aged Butler to Otome who is standing and staring over the window in her office.
“Let him be. Sooner or later he will return, he is the heir of Chuuoku after all. Bocchan like him will not survive in the harsh society. I want you to keep an eye on him, Yamato. After that, report to me immediately what he did out there!” Otome gave an order to that butler and he bowed.
“Understood, Otome-sama.”
Though Otome said as if she didn’t give any shit of Dice’s leaving, but somehow her chests felt hurt. Otome just smiled bitterly.

I remembered the day I held him when he was baby.
From his first breathe he was so sweet, so little, so pure, I don’t know where he came from.
I bore this child, swaddled him, rocked him, fed him with my own breasts, I wouldn’t let the nannies touch him.
He is not like me, no meanest, no jealous, there is just goodness.
I thought if I could make something so good, maybe I am not a monster.